Chapter Text
Don't Own Kung Fu Panda
"Oh come on, Kate. This is stupid!" shouted the feline.
"You lost the bet, Tigress," smirked the canine. "You pay the price."
"Just get in and out, no big deal," said a shorter lizard next to her. Tigress groaned under her muzzle, but the high-school tiger wasn't getting out of this.
She glared at the black wolf smirking at her misfortune. Dark purple eyes matched the dark eggplant jersey jacket of their school's team. She was an inch shorter than Tigress, but two cups bigger than her, something that the wolf was proud of lording over the feline. "This isn't fair, Kate."
"It's completely fair. Look, you bet that you could beat me at my own game. You lost. You pay the price. Maybe that will teach you not to get a big head."
"You have tits big enough for a head."
"What was that?"
"Nothing," The tiger snapped. Tigress adjusted her red plaid jacket covering her white T-Shirt. Her black jeans wouldn't let her fade into the darkness in some alleyway for now. Besides, it was noon on a Sunday. Her amber eyes scanned for some way out, but the busty canine smirking at her already held her phone, primed for the humiliation.
Suddenly a scaly hand knocked her arm down. "Hey! Soo!"
"She didn't agree to be filmed. Have some mercy. She's already annoyed as it is," Soo said. Soo was an orange lizard with a lighter orange underbelly coasting down her blue T-shirt and dark navy blue skirt. With her green eyes, she glared at Kate with a reptilian hiss. "Just let her do the dare she agreed to."
"Ugh, fine," Kate grumbled, crossing her arms under her bust. "Alright, go on."
"You might as well get it over with, Tigress," Soo replied. The tiger sighed and turned to the glass door across the street. She read the sign above and sighed deeply.
Mr. Ping's comic shop.
Being in here would be a social death sentence to the cheerleader. She had tried her best to keep a head up and focus on grades, performance, and skills. Things that would make her father proud.
But this was asinine. Her mind went a mile a minute of what a nerdy male-focused shop full of desperate shut-ins would be like. All of them, staring at her like she was one of their precious mint-condition dolls. She had never been in a comic shop. The nerds at school would gaze at her like some dreamy princess they'd one day conquer the mighty dragon to get. A comic book store? It might be ten times worse. Tigress shook her head and crossed the street. She pulled the handle of the door and stepped inside.
The scent of paper, books, and cozy rug flooded her nose. She blinked at the place. A spotted blue carpet led to a white middle-aged goose looking over a book behind a glass counter. He seemed bored. Behind him were trinkets and replicas she guessed were from tv shows, weird comics and...
Tigress narrowed her eyes at one thing on the wall. It was a doll/action figure of a princess show she used to love as a kid. And there was more of it. Turning to her right, she saw animals big and small glancing through comics, books, and reading some stuff. Some of them looked at her.
But they narrowed and rolled their eyes, returning to their perusing.
Tigress's head jerked back. Was she being... judged? She looked back to her phone. 25 minutes left. She decided to go to the goose. "Uhhh, excuse me. Is there anything for uhhh... my taste?"
The white goose finally recognized her and brightened up. "Ah! Yes, sorry I... wait." He scanned her up and down. "Oh," He said with such disappointment that Tigress felt hurt. He pointed to tall aisles in the back. "Umm, forth aisle."
"Uh... thanks," Tigress said as she walked away. She could see eyes on her, but different from what she thought. Were they... judging her? She even caught one bunny kid grumbling to a serpent.
"Here's another one."
Another one?
What did that mean? She couldn't figure out. She went to the back and down the aisle. She scanned the shelves for something to get her mind off of the weird contradiction. There was a body-length mirror hanging at the end of the aisle. Tigress checked herself, dusting off any lint lingering on the jeans that hug to her strong thighs. She adjusted her top. Though smaller than Kate, she still had a decent bust size. C cup, though her hard work as a Cheerleader made it easier to manage than Kate's. At least I'm not flopping all around.
She didn't have a rear like Soo's though. Hers was perkier, bubble-like, and firm, matching her thick athletic nature, something hard to get away with being a Cheerleader. But Soo's butt was plump, squishy, and bouncy.
Tigress shook her head. There were a crowd of male nerds around and she was the one thinking about her friends' bodies?
That thought got her back onto the customers. Why were they so... judgmental? She had seen those faces on girls, but not nerds. "What? Do they have standards or something? Am I not one of their waifus?" Tigress muttered to herself.
At least, she thought it was to herself.
"It's more like they don't want to be teased in their own domain."
Tigress whipped her head around and saw the owner of that voice. A tall panda gently leaned on the aisles with his arms crossed and a large frown on his face. He had a dark black T-shirt with a rock band on it and sweatpants.
He didn't look happy. That much was for sure. "So... why are you here?" The panda asked, glaring his jade eyes at her.
"Uhh, I uhh. wanted to find some... literature?" Tigress said. Why was she afraid? Odds are she could wrestle this panda to the ground. Her self-defense classes had to be good for something.
The panda gave a loud sigh, "Look, if you're trying to find the 'nerds in their primitive habitat', could you do it somewhere else? These guys are trying to get away from being judged and filmed."
"Wh-What?" Tigress's eyes widened, and she threw up her hands. "Oh, no, no, no. I'm not here to make fun of anyone! I... uh... I came here because... gosh this is embarrassing." She saw the panda raise his eyebrow. "I... lost a bet."
"Oh!" The panda motioned her to follow him. He walked back to the center of the shop, gently placed his hand on her shoulder, and proceeded to announce to everyone. "Everyone relax. We have a code L. Code L."
"OOoooohhh sorry, sorry, sorry," The whole room said.
They started smiling and shaking her hand as if she were one of them. "Wh-What just happened?"
"Some snooty popular girls come here to 'scope out' the nerds for fun," The panda rolled his eyes. "It's been happening so much that the guys are... kinda protective about it."
"I... I see," Tigress said, feeling the shame rise up in her.
"Oh! Where are my manners? I'm Po," The panda smiled, offering his hand. "It's nice to meet you. How can I make your stay comfortable?"
"Uhhh, I guess nothing. Um I'm sorry. What does... Code L mean?"
"It stands for Loser," Po smirked, earning a huff from the tiger. "When people have to come in here because of a bet, we try our best to relax them. Please have a seat." He pointed to a comfy looking well-worn couch. Tigress tentatively sat into it and immediately felt consumed.
"Whoa."
"Yeah, it's very comfortable," Po smiled, grabbing a magazine. "If you're bored, we have some stuff that's more your speed."
He gave her a tabloid magazine that looked a week old.
Tigress narrowed her eyes. "What makes you think I read that stuff? Aren't you assuming too much?"
Po returned her narrowed glare. "Don't give me that. You're in here because of a bet, not because you actually like any of this stuff. I'm right to assume that. Besides, you looked like the kind of person who reads this stuff. But since you want to prove me wrong, what piece of 'literature' would you like, fair maiden?"
Tigress huffed again, crossing her arms. This... wasn't what she expected. Normally, the geeks and nerds at her school weren't this confident or even judgmental. She could understand why given the circumstances, but it still felt... oddly comforting. Especially coming from the panda. She glanced at the smirking bear.
Admittedly, he was cute. Of course, that smug look on his face irritated her. "Do you happen to have anything about... Warrior Princess?"
"Ah yes. Give me a min. Hey Dad? Do you have the girl with the daddy issues junk?"
"WHAT?!"
"Hahaha, I'm kidding," Po chuckled. "Sorry, sorry."
"Here you go, Po," said the white goose at the counter, passing the bear a stack of comic books.
"Thanks Dad."
"You're adopted?" Tigress asked.
"Of course not, what makes you say that?" Po said with such a deeply serious face.
"Well, it's just..."
"I'm kidding," Po chuckled. "Sorry, a friend of mine told me I make a better brother than a lover. So I play up the annoying brother role."
"Why?"
"Disarms people," Po smiled more genuinely.
Tigress tilted her head. "Are you guys hostile to every woman that comes through here?"
"Only the prep girls."
"How did you-"
"The way you carry yourself," Po interrupted. "Your head lifted, you tried everything to mask your discomfort, and you looked everywhere to make sure no one looked at you. The nail in the coffin was when you checked yourself in the mirror."
Tigress growled in her throat, "You make it sound like I'm vain."
"Not vain, but just worried too much about what other people think. Plus the 'waifu' comment kinda solidified it."
"Sorry," Tigress grumbled.
"So... how did you lose the bet?" Po asked, glancing over some comic in his hands. Before Tigress answered, she glanced at the comic he was reading.
"Is that... Kung Fu Camel?"
Po's head jerked back. "You... know this comic?"
"I read it once when I was a kid. I loved Master Red."
The panda's eyes narrowed. He leaned forward to her. "Why?"
"It's just... her story is very... relatable."
"To you."
"Yes, is that a problem?" Tigress shot back.
Po shrugged, "Not if you don't have performance issues."
"What do you-"
"Master Red did everything to make her master proud. And she couldn't. You said that you relate to her. Why is that?" Po smiled more kindly. "So the only thing that I can think of is that her life and yours overlap a bit. We relate to the people we see ourselves in."
Tigress blinked at the jade eyed panda. She didn't say anything. She couldn't. She turned her head and pursed her lips. "It's okay. But... you know her story never really gets finished."
"Yeah," Tigress grumbled. "I hate how everything is a cash grab now."
"You mean Kung fu Camel 4."
"There is no Kung Fu Camel 4 as far as I'm concerned."
Po shrugged, "I thought it was better than Kung Fu Camel 3."
Tigress gawked like she had been slapped but saw the panda's grin. "You're messing with me?"
"I'm soooo messing with you," Po laughed. Tigress smiled. This panda was nice to be around. "So, high school?"
"Junior at Johnson Devon High school."
"Jade Newport," Po said. "Senior." The tiger's eyes slightly widened. "What? Didn't think I'd be that old?"
"Not older than me," Tigress confessed. "But I'll be honest, you don't strike me as the overly confident person. At least at first."
Po sighed, "I've been picked on enough to know that many people don't care. Then my friend helped me learn how to stand up for myself. Had to practice a lot. Over time, I learned something. People are too busy focused on their own problems to notice you. And I've seen too many bullies crumble just because of their image."
"Huh, maybe... you know a lot more than I thought."
"Nah, I just remember what my mom said before she died."
"Which was?"
"Fear and the mind are good servants, but terrible masters," Po said with a serious glare that made Tigress's breath hitch. "When she died, that phrase just clicked in my head, and I started doing what she told me. Turns out, she's right. Asked a bunch of girls out, got rejected, had some fun, found some friends, and helped some of these guys out with the same things. Now they all have girlfriends."
"Wait, what?!"
"Why is that so surprising?" Po smirked.
Tigress rolled her eyes. "You know why."
"Assumptions make an ass out of you."
"It's a wonder you're a panda and not a donkey."
"HEY!"
"HAHAHAHAHA!" Tigress laughed. She was enjoying herself. More than she thought she would. "You come here often?"
"My dad runs the store."
"Right."
"Why?"
Tigress looked at her watch. She was long done with the bet. A long smile crawled onto her face as she roped her arm around Po's. "I... want some pay back. Wow... I didn't know your... arms were so... muscular."
"Work out playing soccer with some tennis on the side. Helps with the panda asthma," Po chuckled, a little nervous. "So, what did you have in mind?"
"Do you... happen to have a suit?"
Po blinked and stood up. "I've waited my whole life for this very moment."
Meanwhile, the confident grin on the black wolf's face grew more and more sour. She paced around, shoving her hands into her purple jacket. "She better not have gone out the back door."
"She didn't, Kate," Soo said. "The backdoor is on the side."
"It's been 45 minutes. Where is she?"
"Are you worried about her?"
"I just don't get why she's spending so much time in that place," Kate grumbled. "Did she find a date or something?"
Just then the door opened. The lizard and canine dropped their jaws as Tigress came out with a stunning panda in a sharp black suit with a bow-tie and a white pressed dress shirt. A knowing smirk graced the feline's face. "Ahh, girls. I'd like you to meet Po."
"Ah, it's quite charmed to meet you two," Po said in a deep voice with a savvy manner. He gently reached out and kissed the orange lizard's hand, watching her cheeks grow a little darker. He tried to reach the canine's hand, but she backed away, snarling.
"What the hell is going on?"
"I don't mean to be rude," Po apologized. "I was simply introducing myself."
"And you are," Soo asked.
"Po, supporter of this establishment and most comic stores around town."
"How many ner... comic stories are there," Kate asked.
"4 in all," Po said very matter of factly.
"Po is from a top-level high school and was just telling me about his plans to run the business after he graduates and we're married," Tigress smirked at Kate's growling face.
"WHAT?!"
"Yes, quite fascinating really," Po said, placing a monocle on his right eye.
Kate and Soo said nothing. Their jaws were too far down on the ground to really mutter noise.
But then... Tigress' lips twitched.
The wolf suddenly glared. "You're lying!"
"HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!" Po and Tigress laughed. Soo snickered, but a large frown latched onto Kate's face.
"Girl, I thought you were becoming an escort or something! Don't worry me like that!"
"Oh so you do care?" Tigress smirked. Kate rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.
"Alright, alright. I'm sorry about the bet. Are we even?" She asked, extending her paw. Tigress chuckled lightly and shook her hand. "Sooo uhhh... who are you, exactly?"
"Po."
"So... that whole thing about-"
"I'm not rich and I'm not marrying her," Po clarified, taking off his monocle and suit jacket. Tigress's sharp eyes spotted the stretch the white dress shirt made over his surprisingly broad chest. "But it's nice to see you two. I didn't know what kind of person would force our poor, innocent tiger here into such a forsaken nerdy world."
Soo laughed, "Sorry, she had to do it because of a bet."
"I see," His jade eyes zoomed in on Kate, making the black wolf flinch. "And I'm guessing you're the person who did that?"
"Wh-What? I uhh."
Po laughed, "It's okay, no need to get shy."
"I'm not shy," Kate grumbled. "Just... Was the suit necessary?!"
"Had the sell the bit, though it's been a while since I've used it" Po muttered, looking at his watch. "Ah, but I got to go. Meeting up with a friend of mine at the library."
"To show your new trading cards?" Kate smirked. Tigress glared at her canine friend, but the panda simply smiled.
"No, just to figure out which punch to spike at your parties."
Kate only smirked wider. "I didn't think nerds had back bones."
"I didn't think dogs had sticks up their butts," Po smiled, "I thought they were supposed to fetch go them."
"PFFFTT," Soo quickly covered her laugh. Kate glared and huffed, crossing her arms.
"Sorry about Kate, she's... actually she's just a jerk. But since you two are very similar, I can see why you two butt heads," Tigress grinned.
"I'm only slightly offended by that true statement," Po smiled. "But I do have to go."
"Uhh hey," Tigress caught his arm again and gave him a slip of paper. "When you have the time, okay?"
"Okay," Po smiled, going back into the nerdy den. The feline didn't know she was smiling until a scaly elbow knocked her out of her daydreaming.
"You like him?" Soo teased.
"Anyone who can talk back to Kate like that is likable," Tigress chuckled.
"He's a jerk."
"No, he just doesn't cower to you. You're just upset that he can dish back what you throw out," Tigress smirked.
"Whatever," Kate grunted, "He's still a big nerd."
"So you won't mind if I hang out with him?" Tigress grinned. The black wolf's eyes shot open. "He's fun to be around, speaks his mind, and has a good head on his shoulders. I like him."
"Enough to date a nerd?"
"Not date him, just hang out with him," Tigress corrected. "I know the school he goes to. Maybe I should get to know him a bit more."
Kate's muzzle scrunched up. "I thought you had a reputation to keep up?"
"Life's more than a reputation, Kate," Tigress smirked. She sauntered off down the block, leaving the two girls speechless.
A/N: I love this kind of Po and I don't know why.