Chapter Text
The light blue dress lies on the bed, the big tulle skirt occupying most of her king-size mattress. She’s already showered and just finished doing her makeup; she looks at her reflection in the mirror.
Today is a good day; finally, two of her lifelong friends are getting married, which might be enough to make her happy. Still, she's also very proud of how she was able to transform herself during these years: how her blonde hair, cut in a short bob, mixes well with her sky cotton microbang, and how even if she knows her makeup could improve, she is proud of how far she has come, as she has almost mastered her see-not-see style. She likes big and bald looks, but today she needs to be as natural as possible, so that maybe He could see through her again, just like the old times.
She puts on the dress, the silver heels, and puffs herself with her favorite perfume, one that, unfortunately, she didn’t use as much as she wanted to. The smell brings memories to mind, memories of four years ago, when this scent really fascinated her. Jasmine of Athens is a very floral and fresh scent that isn’t afraid to develop into something sweet and heavy. He said, “Just like you”.
Her telephone, inside the little white purse, vibrates to signal that Uber has arrived. She glances at the orange bass, left in the corner of the living room—scraped, stained, old, and not entirely her own.
Today, it’s maybe the only day in which she can return that instrument; her hand slightly moves towards it, but in the end, she decides to be selfish. She leaves the bass at home, grabs the CD, and puts it inside her purse before exiting her apartment. It's the least she can let him have; that’s something she understands. Also, she just wants to listen to it because she didn’t have the time to hear the release version anyway, so it’s worth it.
She enters the car and thanks the driver for the ride. He replies, “Let me at least take you there, young lady!” Bunny blushes and smiles; being acknowledged always gives her a reassuring and euphoric feeling. She tucks her hair behind her ear and softly thanks the man.
“So, where do you need to go? Seeing how you look, if I can indulge in your business, you are going to a wedding, right?”
Well, an insightful man.
“Yeah, exactly, the location is near South Park, the big auditorium used for concerts and stuff.”
“Oh, I've been there with my daughter for one concert! Didn’t think they rented for ceremonies.”
She is a little surprised by the driver’s response. Lying is always hard for her, so she tries to tell as much truth as she can.
“They usually don’t, but we know one of the families that owns the place…” She hopes her eyes don’t reveal uncertainty and that the man won’t press further, since she can’t say, “Well, we’ve performed with the band there many times, so they’re practically family and offered the venue for Craig’s wedding.” She can’t say that, even though “Crimson Dawn” died four years ago.
“So what do you want to listen to?” She hesitates at first, looking at the CD in her bag, takes it out, and strokes the plastic case. On the cover is the same orange bass guitar, the one left alone in her living room, with “Kenny the junkie EP” engraved on the surface of the instrument in a dirty, angry scrawl.
She turns the rigid plastic case in her hands, looking at the back cover—a picture of a floor with the names of the tracks written across it. Her signature is on the left.
Kenny Junkie
Saturday
unknown 1
IDK if I am boy
Bros
unknown 2
HARD
Kiss Me
Run Rabbit
unknown 3
Pretend that you are God
Sticky
unknown 4
Spiders
Feel Better
The last unknowns
Motion Sickness
Don’t delete the kisses.
She hesitates for a moment before handing the CD to the driver, who glances at it before placing it in the car.
This is the story of
Kenny the Junkie
She feels strange while hearing his name, how it sounded on her lips before hormonal therapy.
She never says his name out loud. Now that she recalls it, this recording session may be the last time she said his name since the incident.
An heroin addict
The most beautiful there is
Gladly, she’s finally understood her gender identity; therefore she can look at her past self with genuine affection, her past voice manifesting just how little and fragile that soft boy was.
He’s 25 but
He looks 40 ah
Lives in parks
Along with cats
That’s not entirely true. She hasn’t seen him since the accident, she has no idea about his appearance right now, or if his habit of sleeping in parks has changed.
Perhaps, today, she’ll find out.
“Mh, sorry, young lady, but I have to ask, is this CD by any chance, of Crimson Dawn?”
The deep voice coming from the seat in front reaches her after a few seconds, her thoughts too captivating to process the question. The man is indeed insightful. She slightly nods before opening her mouth to confirm the man’s suspicions, but as soon as he saw her head movement, he started speed talking.
“Damn it! I was sure of it, since the disband I didn’t hear anything about them for these 2 years! This is too cool.”
She’s a little surprised by the excitement thrown at her; the 40-something man just transforms into a little teenager. She’s really glad she had the privilege to be in such a band.
“Yeah, this is a solo project by one of the ex-members…How did you notice?”
Her curiosity had the best of her.
“Oh, my daughter and I were really big fans, we even traveled to see them! And I can recognise their sound, especially Butters’!”
Hearing that name made her brain stop for less than a second; she accepted her past self, but that name is one that only she can say.
“She goes by Bunny now.” Her voice is firm and secure; what she’s stating is just a fact, but still she can’t ignore the anxiety that this statement provokes in her. Or better, what the possible reaction of that could be. She clenches her teeth.
“Ah, she’s now Bunny…I’m glad.”
She was ready for anything, surely not this. “What?” She replies without thinking twice.
“Ah- I’m sorry, it’s just that I discovered late in life that I have a daughter, and I have never seen her happier in all my life. I’m just glad someone else is out and proud..I guess”
Bunny laughs a little at the end, seeing just how shy and hesitant he seems. Mostly, she’s glad that her daughter has a dad like him and that her driver is an ally and not a transphobic piece of shit.
”But, sorry for my curiosity, but…How do you get this? Who are you? Ahahah”
She thinks twice about revealing her identity and, for the sake of her music, decides not to tell him that she is, in fact, the artist behind the CD.
“Oh ahaha, I am one of Bunny’s friends, the songwriter of most of the album, which comes out tomorrow, so, I just got a little pr package if you will ahah”
She really cares about her music and her art, and believes in her artistic growth, she has explored many genres since the band break-up, and even before that. So, she’s pretty comfortable with her style, yet she wants to understand how the audience will respond —not for quality points, but for the sake of the story she engraved in each track. Their story.
The man is satisfied with her answer and remains silent while her voice echoes in the car.
He lives to do drugs
And does drugs to live
She’s not really proud of the lyrics of this song, seeing that he doesn’t even know he’s on the album,yet. On her behalf, she was drunk out of her mind while writing this, maybe just a year after that day. She doesn’t point at drugs or him anymore; she has analyzed so much of all of this that she is finally at peace with it.
Says: ''I'll stop if you'll give me some''
How can you tell him no
Kenny is so pretty
Heroine suits him
Still, at the time of writing this track, she hadn't discovered it yet.
She doesn’t think heroin looked good on him, but she knows that her eyes are, and forever be, stained while gazing at him. She’ll always see something else, something more. She’ll never be objective about him.
Everyone falls in love
With Kenny the junkie
She fell so hard for him. Maybe that’s why her blue eyes will always look at him like the ones of that little boy who knew kindness for the first time.
She doesn’t know if it’ll be the same. Just one hour drive before finding out.
Just one hour away from Kenny. Sixty minutes.
After two years, she can wait a little bit more.