Chapter Text
Edward Elric was not happy.
Actually, saying that would be a complete understatement; Edward Elric was pissed. He still wasn't sure exactly what he was doing sitting in a fancy looking private car on a train bound for a place that Ed was quite sure wasn't supposed to exist. He'd spent most of the trip so far staring grouchily out the window at the lush green scenery outside as it whizzed past his vision.
There was no one to talk to. Well, no one interesting anyway. Ed glanced over at the other people in the car. There was one chubby guy with an idiotic face and short, bristly hair and another thickset boy with a pudding-bowl haircut. One of them had his long, gorilla-like arms folded over his chest while the other was reading some comic book. They were grinning wickedly along with one other boy, a pale-faced boy with white-blonde hair, pointed features, and cold silver eyes. Like a boss of the mob, he lay stretched out on the seat with his head on the lap of the only girl in the compartment. He was easily distinguished as the leader.
Ed snorted and returned his attention out the window. That last kid. All of Ed's current misery could be blamed on him.
"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!"
Colonel Roy Mustang didn't even flinch at the loud bang made by Ed's fists as they slammed down on his desk. He just calmly glanced at the envelope that Ed had thrown toward him, vaguely recognizing it. He mentally reviewed its contents before pushing it back toward Edward.
"Is there a problem, Fullmetal?"
The Fullmetal Alchemist glared at him hatefully. "'Is there a problem'?!" he echoed incredulously. "Obviously there's a problem! What the hell kinda assignment is this, Colonel? When the hell did I become a damn babysitter?!"
Mustang's eyebrows came together in mild confusion as he looked at Ed. "Babysitter? Where in the file does it say anything about being a babysitter?"
"It might as well say I'm gonna be a babysitter! You guys are telling me to keep an eye on some spoiled rich kid! What's the big idea?!"
The colonel groaned, feeling the hint of a brand new headache. "Fullmetal..."
"And what's up with all the wizards and magic crap?!"
"Fullmetal."
"I don't have time for an idiotic assignment like this, Mustang, and you know that."
"Fullmetal."
"If you guys are makin' fun of me, I swear I'll...!"
Roy snapped his fingers impatiently, a small spark of fire rising into the air with a roar. "FULLMETAL! Shut up and listen to briefing!"
Ed's eye twitched slightly. He slowly shut his mouth and stepped away from the desk to grudgingly stand at attention, hands clenched into tight fists as he fought the itch to sock Roy right in that annoying pretty boy face of his. Roy let out a breath and leaned back in his chair, folding his hands as his eyes came to rest on the clutter that was scattered about his desk.
"Believe it or not, Fullmetal, this is a proper mission. I know it seems ridiculous to ask the military to watch over someone's child and keep him in check, but we have our reasons."
'Yeah, you better,' Ed thought bitterly, narrowing his eyes. "Such as?"
"The wizarding world in Great Britain is currently under the threat of someone called Lord Voldemort. He is a powerful dark wizard who has recently come back to life and appears to be plotting something along the lines of world domination. If he isn't stopped soon, this wizard community won't be the only ones affected. So it's in everyone's interests to maintain the peace, including ours."
A single eyebrow arched upward skeptically. It sounded like the set up to a bad joke or something. The man couldn't be serious. "Lord Voldemort"? "Dark wizard"? At the very least this was the beginning to a fairy tale or a novel for kids. The look that passed over Ed's face went unnoticed as Colonel Mustang continued his explanation.
"Efforts are being made to stop him and his followers now. It is, however, difficult to determine who amongst the people are his allies. It seems as though they are good at hiding themselves. But we do happen to have a lead."
Having effectively checked out of the whole thing already, Ed shifted his weight onto his prosthetic leg, getting tired of standing. He glanced briefly at the couch just behind him, wishing he had opted to sit there rather than stand at strict attention. Then he looked back at Colonel Mustang with an irritated sigh, scratching the back of his neck and grumbling his annoyance under his breath.
"What's the lead?"
"The boy mentioned in the file, Fullmetal," Roy said.
He tapped one gloved finger on the envelope and pushed it back, gesturing for Ed to pick it up. Ed looked at the envelope sternly for a moment. He had already glanced through some of the papers, just to get the basic gist of the assignment. He didn't care enough to actually read the entire report. As soon as he'd realized this was a babysitting mission, he'd stormed straight to that very office.
"His father was one of Voldemort's followers, one of his immediate subordinates. He was recently captured. But that doesn't mean that his family isn't also involved in all this." Here Roy raised his eyes and his tone became even more solemn and firm. "The boy needs to be watched."
"So he gets his very own babysitter, imported straight from the military of Amestris," Ed muttered, rolling his amber-colored eyes in annoyance. "That still doesn't explain why I got picked."
A smirk hinted at the corners of Roy's lips. The colonel looked up at Edward and leaned forward on his desk. A cold shiver ran up and down Ed's spine at the gesture. There was something about the look in his eyes that Ed definitely didn't like.
"Undercover work, Fullmetal," he said. "He's still a kid, even if he has abruptly become the head of the family. The best place to watch over him is at his school."
Ed raised an eyebrow. "School...?"
He hadn't gone to school since the day he and his younger brother had tried to transmute their mother. Ed had gone straight from being an elementary school student to a dog of the military. It wasn't like school ever changed, so Ed could definitely expect it to be just as boring as he remembered it. But more importantly, Edward Elric was way too smart for school.
Roy only nodded. "Yes. He goes to a private magic school: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Now-"
"Oh no," Ed growled. He knew too well what was coming next and he didn't like it at all. "You're not sending me on this stupid mission because of the whole school thing, are you?"
Colonel Mustang smirked. "Well, you've just saved me some breath, Fullmetal." Ed twitched. "You are to be enrolled at this Hogwarts school to keep watch on the boy. I have already spoken to the headmaster and arranged for someone to get you the materials you need."
"I don't believe this," Ed muttered, folding his arms over his chest.
Roy attempted to organize some of the paperwork on his desk as he rose to his feet. "In addition, your younger brother can't go with you. He will have to remain here at headquarters."
Ed suddenly looked horrified. "What're you talking about?! Why the hell not?!"
"Sorry, Fullmetal," Roy said, though he didn't sound apologetic in the slightest. He grabbed the envelope and shoved it into Ed's hands. "I'm afraid he would be too conspicuous."
"You've gotta be kidding!" Ed shrieked. "Then reassign me!"
"I'm afraid I can't do that," Roy went on calmly. "These orders come from higher than myself. And after all, there aren't many people enlisted in the military who are quite as small as you are."
Ed snapped. "WHO'S SO SMALL THAT YOU NEED A MAGNIFYING GLASS TO ACTUALLY SEE HIM?!"
"A little schooling will do you good, Fullmetal."
"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!"
Before he really knew what was happening, the doors opened and Edward suddenly found himself pushed into the hallway, tumbling straight into the opposite wall with a pained yelp. His younger brother Alphonse looked up at him in surprise, sheets of metal grinding against one another with the movement. He stood, rising to his full armored height of about eight feet and moved quickly to his older brother's side.
"Brother! Are you okay?"
Ed groaned painfully in response, rubbing his aching forehead where it hit the wall. He then jumped back to his feet and spun around to face Roy, who was now standing in the doorway with his hands on the doors.
"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"
"I will be escorting you to the manor," Roy said bluntly from the doorway. "The school year begins in three days. We leave in the morning."
He then slammed the doors shut, and a click could be heard as they were locked from the other side. Ed charged the doors, loudly banging his fists against them.
"HEY! We're not through here!"
Were it possible for a suit of armor to break into an anxious sweat, Al would have done exactly that as he stared at the figure of his older brother. He wasn't the only one, either. Several officers that had been walking down the hall were now frozen in place, their eyes wide as they watched the small, blonde alchemist pound on the doors. After a few more moments of banging on the doors with no response, Ed groaned and hung his head in bitter defeat. Everyone who had stopped in their tracks resumed walking, except now they moved a little bit faster as they stared fearfully at Edward.
Ed let his head bang on the door one last time. "Al?"
"Y-Yes?"
"I hate this job."
"I should just walk out," Ed grumbled as he threw open the door to their room, Alphonse just behind him. "We should just get out of here before Colonel Mustang drags me to that bogus place."
"Actually," Al said cautiously, "the colonel already told everyone in the building not to let you leave."
Ed's eyes widened in anger. "WHAT?!"
"I heard people saying something about making sure you stay in the building while you were in his office. Seems like he told everyone before we even got here."
"I'M GONNA KILL HIM!"
He spun around on his heel and was just about to run back out the door when Al grabbed his arms and held him back. This only made Ed flail his arms and kick violently at the air as he was carried back into the room and dropped in a grumpy heap on his bed.
"Brother! Calm down!"
"Damn that Colonel Bastard!" Ed growled when he finally relented, sprawled out on the bed and glaring up at the ceiling. "I'm trapped. I have no say in this at all, do I?"
"Seems that way," Al said, stepping back now that Ed was significantly calmer. He shrugged his metal shoulders as he sat on the floor. "You should start reading the file, then."
The elder Elric started to protest against reading through the whole report, but, as usual, Al convinced him otherwise. So while Al stuffed several sets of Ed's clothes into his trunk, Ed grudgingly opened the envelope in his hands and fished out the papers. He shuffled through them quickly, scanning through the files a second time for anything of interest.
The stack of papers was thick: there were not only reports on the family and situation that Ed was to get involved with, but also histories and maps about the "wizarding world" and this "war" that they were currently fighting. It sounded serious, but Ed couldn't help rolling his eyes as he skimmed through. Magic. He'd never once believed in the concept of it.
Though he had told Al that he would read the reports properly, he pretty much skipped through anything that didn't seem to be important. What Al didn't know wouldn't hurt him, after all.
"Dumbest... assignment... ever," Ed muttered under his breath.
Alphonse glanced over at Ed as he read through the reports, somewhat fascinated by the existence of real magic. Although he had laughed when Ed first explained everything to him, the idea of learning magic was intriguing. He eventually turned away with a sigh, grabbing Ed's auto-mail kit and packing it into his suitcase.
After a long, silent moment, Ed slowly lowered the papers. "Hey Al."
"What's wrong, Brother?"
A wicked, scheming grin was on Ed's face as he turned to face his little brother. "Hide me in the armor and we'll get outta here."
Al jumped slightly in shock, waving his hands frantically in front of him. "But Brother! Those are direct orders from the colonel! You'll get into a lot of trouble - maybe even lose your state license!"
Ed got off the bed and went over to Al, reaching out to undo the straps for his chest plate. "You just gotta hide me in your armor and walk out the front door."
The younger Elric fought Ed off. "But...!"
"Aw, come on. It'll be easy."
"But if they catch us...!"
A wicked glint could be seen in Ed's golden eyes. "If we don't get caught, we won't get caught."
"You're evil."
The state alchemist merely grinned.
"There are serious punishments for disobeying orders!" Al continued to protest. "Just go on the assignment, Brother! Why are you dragging me into your evil schemes?"
"It'll be fine! Just hide me and make a run for it!"
"Go on the mission or I'll turn you in!"
"You'd betray your older brother?!"
"If you use me to run away, then... yes!"
Ed twisted his face into false anger as he quickly thought about what to say next. There were a lot of different cards he could play in a situation like this. But his planning was cut short as Al turned away and slowly looked down at Ed's suitcase. To most people, deciphering the emotions of Alphonse Elric was near impossible thanks to the armor, unless it was obvious. But Edward knew everything there was to know about his little brother. This was Al getting depressed. Ed watched him for a moment longer, starting to feel guilty, and then sat back on the bed.
"Sorry, Al. I shouldn't have tried to drag you into-"
"I wish I could go with you, Brother..."
Shocked, Ed slowly turned his golden eyes on Al. The shoulder plates of his armor slumped slightly and a sad sigh could be heard reverberating in his metal torso. After a moment Ed picked up the papers with a loud, annoyed groan.
"What're you talking about, Al?" he asked loudly, doing his best to sound overly fed up. "You're lucky! All this crap about magic. That's fairy tales and kid stuff! A complete waste of our time! We're alchemists. Scientists! We don't believe in any of this stuff, right?"
Al just nodded his head sadly.
"I mean, I shouldn't even have to go," Ed went on, still trying to cheer his little brother up. He sat up and began to hastily stuff the papers back into the envelope. "You and I already have our hands full with our research. We don't have time for a mission like this, right? Yep, I'm goin' straight to the brass this time, I'll get myself reassigned, and then we--"
He had only just stood up when Al suddenly grabbed Ed by the wrist, stopping him in his tracks. Ed's eyes were wide as he slowly looked back at Alphonse in surprise.
"Al...?"
The tall suit of armor was silent for a moment, still holding onto Ed's wrist. Then, ever so slowly, Al looked directly into Edward's face. Even though Al didn't have a proper face, there was a pleading look in the red glow that seemed to serve as his eyes.
"Brother... Go."
Ed was stunned. "What? But-"
Al slowly released Edward from his grasp. "I want you to. I know the assignment is silly, but... Who knows? Maybe you can learn something there."
They stood in silence for a long time. Ed lowered his gaze to look at the envelope and papers that were in his hands with a frown. He'd really rather not. Largely because he hated the idea of leaving Al all alone at Central Headquarters.
"Besides," Al went on in a significantly cheerier tone, "I don't think Colonel Mustang will reassign you anyway. He's already made sure that you can't escape."
Ed could only turn a stare on his younger brother. He hated to think it, but maybe Al was right. After all, leads on ways to get their bodies back to normal always did come up in the most strange and unexpected places. He'd still prefer to work together with his brother when it came to that, but...
He shut his eyes and let out a sigh, giving in. He sat back down on the bed and pulled the papers back out. "That's true, huh? Man... I just can't win with you."
Al turned around slowly, what could be assumed to be excitement and surprise in his eyes. "So... you're going?"
With an exasperated sigh, Ed looked at his younger brother and managed a grin. "Not like I have a choice, right? Guess I should make the most out of it, then. I'll learn all that magic stuff in a matter of weeks. And when I come home, I'll teach you."
"That sounds pretty arrogant, Brother," Al laughed.
"Not arrogant," Ed corrected him, a toothy grin on his face. "Confident!"
Al could only sigh in response.
After reading through several long pages about the wizarding world (half of which had been written on long sheets of annoying parchment), Ed came across a very unusual picture. It wasn't particularly strange in terms of what it was a picture of, but the fact that the image was animated like a movie had Ed stunned. He looked at the picture for a while longer, flipping it over once or twice, and then shrugged to himself, ready to move on.
"Hey Al," he called, extending the picture to his younger brother. "Check this out."
Al shut the trunk before he took the photo into his hands and gaped at it. It showed the face of a young teenage boy, probably not much older than Ed. He had platinum blonde hair that was neatly slicked back over his head. The boy merely stood in one place, his grey eyes wandering about an unseen environment. He smirked at the camera before allowing his attention to drift again.
"Wow!" Al exclaimed in awe. "Is this part of their magic?"
"Must be," Ed said with a shrug, frowning a little as he continued to scan over all the paperwork. "I was thinking about transmuting it, but I couldn't figure out what was being used to make the picture move like that..."
"Hmm... So this boy must be...?"
"Yeah," Ed confirmed with a solemn nod. "That's him. The kid I'm supposed to watch. His stupid name is plastered all over these reports."
"So... what is his name, Brother?"
Ed snorted as he flipped to the next page. "Draco Malfoy."