Chapter Text
Keishin Ukai pressed the phone against his ear with his shoulder, scowling as he stamped out a cigarette. He was on the phone with one of the Boys’ Association members from a town over who had been talking his ear off about some new girlfriend. Naturally, this was a long lead-up to trying to set Keishin up with someone. Ukai wondered if he should cut his old friend’s story off early so he didn't have to sit through another ten minutes of “I’m so happy to have a girlfriend!” and other sappy anecdotes.
Ukai set down his coffee and leaned his head on his now free hand. He occasionally mumbled a response to his friend who was describing how “Keiko-chan is so perfect and beautiful,” and whatever adjectives a new boyfriend could use to describe a girlfriend.
“Quit delaying the inevitable,” Ukai thought to himself, staring blankly out the window of his family’s shop. “Just try to set me up with some girl who you think is my type but probably isn’t…”
As Ukai zoned out from the conversation, he noticed two figures wandering past the shop. He perked up slightly when he noticed one of the people had a familiar face. He smiled slightly as he watched Takeda chatting with another teacher, laughing brightly. Takeda turned towards the window and smiled, offering a small wave, and Ukai returned the gesture with a quick nod of acknowledgement.
Ukai enjoyed the teacher’s presence, even if he was sometimes a bit persistent. Takeda pushed Ukai to better himself, and he was grateful to the teacher for taking him out of his comfort zone and into coaching. He couldn’t even picture his life before coaching anymore. Takeda was both to blame and to thank.
“Ukai? Hey, you there? I asked if you were seeing anyone?”
Ah, back to the reality of the matter. The question took Ukai off guard, even though he had been expecting it, and Ukai let out an unexpected, “Yeah,” and immediately regretted the syllable that escaped his mouth. How was he supposed to explain that one?
“Oh, really? Wow, I had talked to Shimada and he said you didn’t have a girlfriend. Who is she?”
Ukai looked at Takeda, who had stopped in front of the shop with the other person; Ukai assumed it was another teacher. “She’s uh, short, dark haired…” Ukai tried to think of how the association guys described their girlfriends, using Takeda as a reference. “She has these big eyes that are like a little puppy when she wants something from me. It’s… cute.”
There was silence on the other side. Ukai started to feel beads of sweat on the back of his neck. Would he really buy that? Why was he trying to come up with a fake girlfriend using Takeda anyway? Now not only would they keep trying to set him up, they’d make fun of him for pretending to have a girlfriend in the first place! He heard a faint laugh on the other side, making the hairs on his neck stand up. Ukai heard a shuffle on the other line, and his friend responded, “Sorry about that, Ukai. Keiko-chan just showed up and brought me a homemade bento! She is just the best! Your new girlfriend sounds great! She has to come get drinks with us sometime!”
The bell above the shop door tinkled, signaling someone had entered the shop. Ukai looked up and saw that Takeda had entered the shop and was walking towards him. Ukai gave a small wave and said, “Yeah, sure. I gotta go, man. I have a customer. We’re still good for practice next Thursday, right?”
“Oh, yeah! Talk to you later! Let me know what your lady says about meeting up for drinks!”
Ukai hung up the phone and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Hey, sensei. What’re you doing down here so early?”
Takeda smiled sunnily. “I forgot my lunch today, so I thought I’d come down here to buy something and eat with you.”
Ukai gulped, his flattened nose twitching as Takeda moved to look for something to buy. “Y-yeah. Ma made curry, and she always makes a bunch extra.”
Takeda’s smile dropped slightly, and he waved his hands in front of him, a light pink blush peppering his cheeks. “Ukai-kun. I couldn’t impose myself. I already owe you so many favors as it is!”
“Relax,” Ukai drawled, hoisting himself out of his seat that he felt he had practically melded to. He ambled through the curtained partition between the store and his parents’ house and filled two bowls of curry. He returned to the front of the shop where Takeda waited and pulled up a stool for the young teacher. Takeda sat on the stool and accepted the curry Ukai held out to him. “Thank you so much, Ukai-kun. I’ll have to buy you lunch tomorrow as thanks.”
Ukai suddenly thought about his conversation with his friend, and how he mentioned his girlfriend made him a bento. His mind replayed the conversation about his fake girlfriend that just happened to be Takeda. Ukai stared at the shorter man’s face, taking in his features, from Takeda’s bushy eyebrows to the long, black lashes that framed his deep, brown eyes to the slight upward curve of his lips as they seemed to caress the tips of the chopsticks as he ate. Takeda looked up at Ukai with those dog-like eyes and asked, “Ukai-kun? Aren’t you going to eat?”
Ukai leaned in really close, looking at Takeda’s features as though they were under a microscope. Takeda’s adam’s apple noticeably bobbed as he gulped, and he had the slightest trace of peach fuzz on his chin, but with the right clothes and makeup, just maybe…
Ukai’s head raced, piecing together a plan – a plan to get the association boys off his back once and for all so he could live in peace. “Sensei… I’m going to need to cash in all of my favors.”
Takeda was shaking slightly and blushing wildly. “A-anything, Ukai-kun,” Takeda stammered. A little bead of sweat started to form on his temple. “What do you want me to do?”
Ukai slammed his hands onto the countertop, making Takeda flinch ever so slightly. “I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend.”
Takeda, who had leaned back slightly in his stool when Ukai slammed his hands on the table, was now blushing from ear to ear. The sweat on his temple slid down the side of his face languidly, resting in a droplet on his jawline. For a few moments, the advisor and coach just stared at each other uncomfortably, a mess of red-tinged cheeks and wavering shoulders that trembled out of tension. Ukai’s arms felt as though they were going to give out from under him, and Takeda’s hands were clenched so tightly on his lap that there would surely be indents from his fingernails on his palms when he finally unfurled his fists. Takeda let out a loud exhale, and said, voice cracking slightly from the dryness of the inside of his mouth, “I’m not sure what you mean, Ukai...”
Ukai wasn’t sure if the dropped formality was intentional – whether Takeda was being cold or whether Ukai had opened a barrier between them. Ukai’s hands felt as though he was sliding forward on his sweaty palms, so he snapped up, almost too fast. The sudden movement made Takeda flinch, but his wide, brown eyes never broke away from Ukai. The coach rubbed a sweaty hand up the base of his neck into his wild blond hair and spoke in a low voice laced with trepidation, “I kinda told one of the Boys’ Association guys that I had a girlfriend. And since you were walkin’ by, I used you as a reference. They’re always trying to set me up on dates, so I figured that if I said I had a girlfriend, they’d leave me alone.”
Takeda’s hands writhed in his lap as though he was deep in thought. He now stared at his hands rather than looking at Ukai. “And you want me to pretend to be this fake girlfriend. Even though I’m a guy,” he said, softly.
“Can’t say I know any girls that owe me this many favors,” Ukai muttered, his fingers practically woven into his hair.
“Ok,” Takeda replied, curtly. “But we’re going to need to plan this carefully.” Takeda folded his hands in front of his mouth, his elbows resting on the counter. Ukai swore he saw Takeda’s glasses flash. “What’s the name of your fake girlfriend.”
Ukai was taken aback by Takeda’s willingness to participate and the almost shrewd nature Takeda took on. “I, uh, didn’t say,” Ukai stammered, wondering if the teacher was about to slap his knuckles with a ruler at any moment.
“Well,” Takeda said, pushing his glasses up with the knuckle of his left hand, “I think we can get away with it if you say that I’m my sister. That way if one of your friends does recognize me, it can be played off as though it’s familial similarities. Also, it would be ok if you accidentally call me Takeda. You can even say I’m a teacher or something, just in case you say sensei as well. It would be strange if you call me ‘Sensei’, but it’s at least coverable. As for a first name… what would be easiest for you to remember?”
“Ai,” Ukai burst out, after only moments of thought. “It’s short. And kinda ironic in a way.”
Takeda smiled. “A name meaning ‘love’, huh? I wouldn’t exactly say ironic. More, apropos.”
Ukai frowned slightly. “Yeah, sure, sensei. Like I’d know what that even meant,” he thought, but he didn’t say aloud. Takeda shifted slightly in his chair, deep in thought. Ukai could almost hear a low rumble of gears turning and clinking into place. “I’d need a wig. I can probably find one in the drama clubroom. Something dark and long so it looks natural. I have a small frame, but anything I can do to look more feminine would help.”
Ukai shivered slightly. He knew Takeda was a schemer from day one, but he didn’t expect this level of dedication, especially for such an embarrassing favor. “You’re really into this…” he muttered, almost accidentally. Though there was a part of him that wanted to know why Takeda wasn’t so hesitant.
“I owe you more than a few favors,” Takeda said, a sheepish smile tugging at his lips. “It’s the least I can do.”
They spent the next ten minutes planning Ai Takeda’s backstory. She was a 25 year-old, 1st grade teacher at a school in Kurihara. They met through Takeda-sensei and instantly hit it off. She had managed her school’s volleyball team in high school. She was soft-spoken (mostly because Takeda’s attempts at sounding feminine didn’t quite succeed at volumes above a whisper. Takeda said he’d practice.) To Ukai, Ai sounded far out of his league, but Takeda reassured him by saying that Ai was probably the type who valued hard work and strong family ties – both of which Takeda noted were Ukai’s admirable qualities (much to Ukai’s embarrassment). They talked and ate cold curry until Takeda looked at his phone and noticed he was going to be late. He attempted to clean up his dishes, but Ukai shook him off. “You’ve got class to teach, sensei. Leave this to me. I’ll see you later.”
“Of course. Thank you so much. See you later, Ukai-kun!” Takeda said, bowing a full 90 degrees and whacking his head against the countertop. Takeda turned away, a bit red with embarrassment and blood rushing to his forehead. Ukai smirked, resting his elbows against the countertop. “Careful, sensei. Don’t want my girlfriend’s pretty face to get messed up.”
Takeda turned away mechanically, looking like a tomato smashed on top of a toy robot’s body, and he rushed out of the store with a little wave and a slight grimace. Ukai’s grin widened, and he turned back to the counter to clean up the empty curry bowls.