Archive of Our Own

Alina sighs as she throws herself onto the plush couch in Aleksander’s dad’s study. The elder Morozova and Baghra are gone on some sort of ‘important fundraiser’ trip, so it leaves the Morozova mansion to the whims of Aleksander and his friends. Nikolai is somewhere in the wine cellar trying to figure out what they can sneak without getting in trouble, and Aleksander flips through one of his father’s accounting ledgers easily. Alina sighs again.

“If you keep sighing, I’ll think you’re bored and get offended,” Aleksander says, not looking up from the ledger as he leans against one of the shelves.

“I’m having a crisis, thank you for noticing,” Alina grumbles.

That gets Aleksander’s attention, like it always has. He can never stand when his friends declare they’re having a crisis, much less Alina. “And what crisis could be plaguing your devious mind, Miss Starkov?”

Alina bites the inside of her cheek. “Okay, but you can’t laugh at me.”

Aleksander raises an eyebrow at her. “Since when have I ever laughed at you?”

Alina raises an eyebrow back. “Have you met yourself and Nikolai?”

Aleksander shrugs and nods his head a little as he shuts the ledger and places it back on his father’s desk. Alina’s eyes track him as he comes to sit near her feet on the other side of the couch. “I promise I won’t laugh at you,” he says, tilting his head a little. “What’s wrong?”

“So, you’re not a virgin, right?”

Now, Aleksander’s dark eyebrows arch towards his hairline. “Uh, no. I’m not.”

“Well, I am and Mal said he wants to have sex at your Halloween bash.”

Aleksander goes still. Alina holds her breath. The room is so quiet she can hear the grandfather clock ticking away the seconds. She can feel her face heat as Aleksander’s dark eyes gaze into her own, and then–

Aleksander clears his throat. “Okay, so what’s the problem?”

“I don’t…know sex,” she admits on a soft exhale. “I’ve heard Mal and his friends talking about their…exploits,” Alina says slowly, hoping that ‘exploits’ sounds better than ‘conquests,’ “and it makes me feel naïve.” 

Aleksander’s eyes don’t meet hers now and he’s folded his hands together as he leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees. “Surely you’ve watched porn?” He asks, barely looking at her out of the corner of his eye. 

No, she hasn’t. When Alina doesn’t answer, Aleksander turns his face towards her, his eyebrow raised. She shakes her head slowly. 

“I’m worried about getting a virus on my computer.” 

Aleksander smiles. It’s not a mocking smile, but a soft one she’s seen countless times. One that breaks whatever awkwardness that was beginning to creep up her spine. 

“And besides, what you see in porn isn’t real,” she adds. “It’s always over the top.”

Aleksander seems to run this through his head for a second.  “I could send you some virus free ones. And tame ones. Just to give you an idea.” 

Alina bites the inside of her cheek again. That’s what friends do, right? She’s heard the guys talk about some of the porn they’ve watched before. And it’s not like she specifically set out to ask Aleksander about this. She would’ve been fine asking Tolya, and maybe Nikolai after a few drinks when she would be confident he wouldn’t remember it. But she’s not close enough with Zoya yet to feel comfortable asking her, and Tamar is on a fall break vacation with Nadia and her family. 

“Thanks,” she says, smiling. A slight blush creeps up on her cheeks, but if Aleksander notices, he doesn’t let on.

“It’s what friends are for.” He winks as the door opens, and Nikolai walks in with a bottle in hand as Tolya follows behind with a few boxes of pizza. 

“You take forever, Nik,” Alina says as she rolls off the couch, leaving Aleksander sitting on it alone.

“There’s a lot to choose from, don’t blame me.” Nikolai motions towards the tray of empty glasses and Alina sets to lining them up. Nikolai pops the cork out and starts pouring. 

“Are we breaking in that new hot tub tonight?” Tolya asks. He grabs a slice of pizza and drapes himself across an armchair. 

“I definitely am.” Nikolai hands Alina her drink then picks up the other three glasses to hand out. “Zoya insists.” 

“Oh, I didn’t bring a swimsuit.” Alina takes up her spot on the couch again and reaches for the pizza.

“Rookie mistake, dear Starkov,” Nikolai tsks.

“You left that one swimsuit here after the summer party,” Aleksander says. “It’s been washed and dried and put in your room.” 

“Oh, perfect.” Alina smiles. “Thanks.” 

Aleksander inclines his head, though Alina is pretty sure she can feel Nikolai and Tolya staring at the two of them. She ignores them, opting to eat her pizza and open one of the sodas that was placed on the coffee table earlier. For years, it was a tease with Nikolai and Tolya about how Alina had a crush on Aleksander. Sure, she did when she was fourteen and he had just turned sixteen when they met. But that was four years ago. 

Aleksander never entertained it, of course. He either had a girlfriend or made it clear that he saw Alina as close to a little sister as he would get. It was just a puppy love kind of crush that came from hanging out with an older boy for the first time that wasn’t the other guys currently sitting across from her. Besides, she met Mal almost two years later, and they started dating four months ago. 

The four of them eat pizza and have a couple of drinks, then Zoya arrives and everyone goes to change into their swimsuits. Alina makes her way to one of the five spare bedrooms—the one Aleksander dubbed “her room.” Really, it’s not her room. It’s just the one she likes sleeping in when she stays over because it has a nice view of the lake towards the back of the property, and she can see the mountains of Sikursk in the distance. 

Outside, the hot tub is bubbling, a fire has been lit, and Nikolai and Zoya have already commandeered one of the corners of the hot tub to themselves. Alina slips in across from them, then Aleksander appears beside her and hands her another drink, a mixed one this time since her stomach usually hates straight liquor after a while. 

“So, what’s everyone going to be for the Halloween party?” Zoya asks as Tolya joins them and sits across from Aleksander. 

“Tamar and I are going to be Roman soldiers, and Nadia has been convinced to be Laverna, the goddess of thieves.” Tolya smiles. 

That gets a couple of laughs from everyone.

“I think we’ve decided on a 1920s vibe, right, love?” Nikolai asks Zoya. 

“Yeah, you wanted to be a gangster and I’m going to be a flapper.” Zoya smiles.

“Oh, I love the flapper look,” Alina says. “I was obsessed with it in middle school.” 

“She was.” Nikolai laughs. “But Ana refused to cut your hair so you would try and flip it under to make a mock bob.” 

“Don’t remind me.” Alina scrunches her face. “I read Vixen by Jillian Larkin and was totally enamored.” 

“I read that series too.” Zoya grins. “I felt the same way.” The two of them smile and sip their drinks. “So, what are you going to be for the party, Alina?” Zoya asks.

“Mal wants to be Hercules and said I should be Meg,” Alina says. “I wanted to be Persephone before he chose his costume.” 

“Goddess of Spring,” Aleksander says. “That’s fitting.”

“And Queen of the Underworld,” Alina adds. “I had an idea for a flowery but also dark dress. Though I guess getting a costume for Meg will be easier.” 

“I say if you want to be Persephone then you should. There will be other parties to have couple costumes for,” Aleksander says, his gaze fully on Alina. “One night won’t make a difference.”

“Yeah, I suppose,” Alina says, though she decidedly can’t look at Aleksander for too long. She recognizes the tone in his voice, and it makes the hairs on her arms stand. “We’ll see.”

There’s a beat of silence, and Alina can feel the moment Aleksander stops looking at her out of the corner of her eye. And then: 

“Did you invite Anya, Alek?” Zoya asks.

“Yes, I did.” Aleksander nods slowly.

Alina smiles. “Oh, who’s Anya, Sasha?” She teases, arching an eyebrow. 

“We were in a group together for a class project,” he admits. “I’m pretty sure she has a crush on me, but only because I actually did my part of the assignment.” 

“Did you ask her formally or more as a ‘I’m having a party if you want to come’ situation?” Nikolai asks. 

“I didn’t ask her to be my date if that’s what you’re implying.” Aleksander smirks. “You know I like being untethered at a party.” 

There’s a round of laughs, but that was something about Aleksander that kind of tamped Alina’s feelings quickly—he was a playboy. Flirting with everyone, with easy smiles and smooth laughs. She’s heard a couple of his lines over the years, and at various points when he was single he would flirt with her if only to annoy her, but the line of girls waiting for him was always longer than Alina cared to admit. 

The conversation drifts to what the rest of the party is going to have, and how many people are coming. Alina and Nikolai are still seniors in high school, and albeit eighteen, Tolya, Aleksander, and Zoya are all freshmen in college. Aleksander made it very clear that the party was eighteen and up, so at least Alina doesn’t have to worry about security turning her away at the door. 

There’s another round of drinks, and some snacks are passed out by Tolya since no one wants to be hungover tomorrow. But, eventually, it’s nearing midnight and Alina has been up far too long at this point. 

Once she’s showered and changed into her pajamas, she checks her phone to see if Mal texted her. He said he was going to spend a guys night with Mikhael and Dubrov, but he hasn’t answered her texts from a few hours ago. Odds are he probably drank and passed out not long before she sent them. 

Alina slides under the thick covers of the bed and clears away some of her notifications. She Snapchats Tamar and Nadia back, texts Genya, and then when she’s setting her alarm, a text comes in from Aleksander. 

When she goes to their texts, it’s actually a few messages. There are three links and a short message.

Tame and virus free

Alina snorts softly.

Thank youu

She clicks on the first link and is brought to a website she’s never heard of, but there are no pop-ups or barriers to the video. She just clicks play and settles back into the plush pillows.

The video starts with not being able to see the girl or the guy’s face really, but she can see them from the mouth down. They’re making out on the couch with the guy sliding his hand up the girl’s thigh and the girl slides her hand up the guy’s chest and cups the back of his neck. 

They kiss and kiss, but then the guy presses the girl back onto the couch and his hand slips beneath her skirt between her legs and—the video cuts and the girl is completely naked, and the guy just has on his pants. He’s on top of her with his fingers inside of her and even though Alina’s volume is low, she can hear a wet sound when the guy moves his hand faster. The girl pants and moans, but it’s not over the top like she’s heard before. 

The guy kisses the girl as her legs shake, and when he slips his hand from her pussy the camera angle changes to show how wet she is. Alina’s center clenches around nothing. She’s rubbed Mal through his boxers a couple of times, and he’s done the same to her when she’s had leggings on, but she’s gotten nowhere near as wet as this girl. 

Alina bites at her bottom lip as the video changes again, and then the guy is naked and the camera is positioned so she can see him press into the girl slowly. The girl moans when he’s fully inside of her and the guy kisses her as he picks up his pace. The girl holds him close as the guy fucks her deeply, and it doesn’t take long for him to come. There’s another closeup of his come as it spills out of the girl, but Alina gets a flash of a smile from her before the video ends. 

Alina’s cheeks feel flushed and her body is hot as she clicks out of that video and onto the next one. This one is similar, but the guy and the girl are on a bed, and he’s completely clothed and she’s wearing a bra and some already damp panties. This one is largely focused on the guy using his hand to get the girl wet and then her underwear is gone and she’s turned on her side as he slides his sweatpants down just enough to have his dick free. 

Both of the guys seem smaller than Mal, but Alina assumes that not many people would be much bigger. 

The guy spits into his hand and coats himself as he slides his dick through the girl’s folds, and then he’s pressing in and pulling her close. He even reaches around to lift her leg back onto his hip so the camera can see him fucking her slowly and rubbing her clit the same time. This video is only a couple of minutes too, and it’s over before Alina feels like it was enough time for either of them. 

Then, there’s the third video. 

This one is a little different from the others. There’s a guy in bed just sitting there with some pajama pants on when a girl walks into view wearing a large t-shirt and presumably nothing underneath. She straddles the guy and his hands go to her ass as the girl wraps hers around his shoulders, and then they’re kissing. The guy sits up straighter, cupping the back of the girl’s neck and kissing her harder, and the girl grinds down into his lap. This goes on for a minute with the guy taking off the girl’s shirt and, yeah, she’s not wearing anything beneath it. They kiss for a beat longer and then the guy flips them over so he’s on top. 

The scene changes and the camera has been repositioned to show her pussy before the guy delves into her. Alina can see the girl arch her back and the way she plays with her breasts as the guy eats her out, and then the guy leans back and slides two fingers through her wet folds before he sinks them into her and goes back to licking and sucking like his life depends on it. 

Alina slips her hand beneath the covers and under the waistband of her pajama shorts. She hasn’t watched porn and touched herself before, but she’s been drinking and she’s now on her third video and this one is…pretty hot. The guy kind of reminds her of Aleksander when he had grown out his hair, but he has tattoos all down his arms and on his hand, so clearly it’s not him. But they’re similar. 

Alina presses lightly on her clit, thinking about what it would feel like to have someone’s tongue on it. Maybe Mal’s, come Halloween. She draws lazy circles as the guy works the girl on camera, tugging her clit with his lips and licking into her again. Alina can feel a small damp spot on her underwear, but she tries to ignore it. 

When the guy takes his fingers out of the girl and sits back, the girl’s pussy spasms and she moans softly. The scene changes again and now the camera is a little more to the side, and Alina watches as the guy slides into the girl slowly. Alina moves her underwear to the side and slides a finger into herself. This, she’s done before too. But the idea of Mal doing it always made her nervous. One finger is fine. Easy. Any more than that? 

Alina shivers as the guy moves a little faster and his hand slides to the girl’s throat as he holds her against the bed. The way that the two people move and how they act with each other seems more real than Alina ever thought porn could be, and for a moment she wonders if she would like having someone choke her. It’s probably—mostly—the alcohol talking, but it looks hot. The guy pulls back and lifts the girl’s legs over his shoulders before he folds them back and picks up his pace. 

Alina comes with a sigh right before the guy spills inside of the girl and then the two of them lay there for a second and just kiss before he pulls out and, once again, the camera is left to show her spasming pussy with the guy’s come in her. 

When the video cuts, Alina yawns and slips her hand out of her panties then decides to head across the hall to wash her hands before going to sleep. Her mind reels and her legs are a little wobbly, but she feels relaxed now. And Aleksander was right when he said those videos were tame. 

Once she’s back in the bed, she pulls up her texts with him. 

Are these videos that you like? 

She hits send, and surprisingly he starts typing back almost immediately. She thought he’d be asleep. 

They’re a little too tame for me, but they’re good

Alina presses her lips together. 

Then what do you like? 

The three dots pop up telling her that Aleksander is typing. Then they go away. Then they come up again. Alina almost feels like holding her breath while she waits for his response. And then…

Control 

Alina’s heart hammers in her chest as she stares at his text, then another link pops up. She clicks on it quickly and this video is clearly different from the others. It’s brighter and not as soft and sensual as the other ones, and Alina watches as a guy in a suit sits on the couch reading a newspaper when a girl in a short skirt and tight shirt walks into view. She takes the newspaper from the guy and sets it on the table, and then the guy is turning her around and pulling her down into his lap. 

“What do you want, baby?”

“I need to get fucked, Daddy.”

The words send a bolt of electricity through Alina that she wasn’t expecting, but she ignores it. The guy kisses her neck and undoes the few buttons on her shirt to reveal her breasts, and his hand grazes over them. He pulls at her nipples a little as he kisses her neck, and then he slides his hand over her bare stomach and down to her center. The girl opens her legs wide but she’s wearing underwear, and the guy runs his fingers over the thin cotton. “I’ve been so good, Daddy.” 

“Look at how desperate you are, baby.” He slides them aside and runs a finger through her folds a couple of times as his other hand continues to work her breasts, and as he slides a finger into her his hand goes to her throat. Alina forces herself to breathe properly as she watches. “How wet your little cunt is at the thought of me filling you up.”

The girl whines and tries to grind against the guy, but he holds her tighter. When she tries to touch her breasts he shifts and lays her across his lap. The girl smiles as she wiggles her ass and the guy pulls her underwear down, then he runs his hand over it before he spanks her. The girl moans, closer to the moans Alina was originally expecting, and the guy spanks her a few more times. 

When he’s done, he spreads her ass and shows how red and wet she is before picking her up and positioning her on the couch like she weighs nothing. Face down, ass up, and the girl smiles and wiggles her ass some more as the guy unbuckles his pants. When his hard cock is free he gets off the couch and walks to where the girl’s head is, and she shifts and opens her mouth so he can place the tip of his dick on her tongue. The guy presses himself deeper into her mouth and the girl takes it, moaning and her eyes watering. He fucks himself slowly with her mouth, and the girl moans and smiles all the while.

Then when the guy decides that he’s had enough, he gets into position behind her and slides into her pussy easily. This time, it’s hard and fast and the girl moans obscenely as the guy fucks her. She grips the cushions and tries to push back against him, but the guy grabs her arms and lifts himself up so he’s pounding into her at an angle that almost makes Alina’s back hurt just from looking at it. 

When the girl starts moaning louder Alina presses her speaker against the covers to dampen the sound, since her volume is already on one and she can’t turn it down anymore without silencing the video completely. Then the guy pulls out as he comes. It makes a mess, and the girl’s pussy is covered in white, but she smiles and slips her hand between her legs to try and push some of it inside of her. Then she licks her fingers clean. 

There’s some close ups of her pussy and her ass, and just before the video ends, Alina can hear a faint, “Are you going to fuck my ass next, Daddy?” 

When Alina clicks out of the video, she’s breathing heavy and her cheeks are hot and there’s another wave of pleasure thrumming through her body like she just got herself off again. 

After she’s collected herself she goes back to her conversation with Aleksander in time for him to text her again. 

I hope that didn’t worry you

Alina swallows hard.

No not at all lol 

She takes a deep breath. 

Good night Sasha

His next text comes back quickly. 

Sweet dreams, Miss Starkov

Alina stares at his text then locks her phone and rolls over onto her side. When she closes her eyes, scenes from the various videos play behind her eyelids. She rubs her legs together and her still sensitive clit throbs, but Alina ignores it as she buries her face into the pillow and wills sleep to take her away. 

Alina had to leave the Morozova mansion fairly early the next day to be back home before Ana could throw a fit about her chores not being done, but everyone already made a plan to head back to Aleksander’s on Thursday to help decorate before the party Friday night. Not that they really needed to, but still.

Since she hasn’t seen Aleksander since the previous Saturday night, she hasn’t had a chance to talk to him about…anything. When she was sober Sunday, she felt guilty for even asking him about sex since she has a boyfriend and that felt like crossing a line, but the only other person available that she would’ve felt comfortable with was Tolya. So she’d still be in the same situation. 

At Aleksander’s, she’s in the dining room with Zoya and they’re preparing an insane amount of glowstick batches for people to grab on their way in, and Alina is decidedly not drinking since it’s a school night and she wants to not have any other influences if she’s able to talk to Aleksander again. 

“Saints, where is he?” Nikolai groans. “This is his party.”

“He said something about having to take care of a thing first,” Tamar grumbles as she fiddles with a bread tie. “Alina, can you go check on him? This is his party.”

Alina straightens at the request and nods a little. “Yeah, I’ll be right back.” 

She stands and slips out of the room and heads for the stairs. Aleksander’s room, like the spare one she stays in, is on the second floor. But they’re on opposite ends of the hall. She’s just about to Aleksander’s room when the door opens and he steps out. His hair is damp and she can smell his favorite soap clinging to his skin. 

Alina stops short and Aleksander looks up at her as he slips his phone into his pocket. 

“Everyone’s wondering where the host is,” Alina says, raising an eyebrow. “Kind of rude to leave your friends doing the dirty work.” 

The corner of Aleksander’s mouth lifts. “It would be rude to scare everyone away with my sweat. I had to shower after the gym.” 

“Right.” Alina feigns sincerity. “Because a few droplets of sweat would surely frighten everyone away.” 

Aleksander’s smirk widens. “Exactly.” 

Alina huffs out a laugh and rolls her eyes, then Aleksander motions for her to follow him down the hall and back towards the stairs. With the party tomorrow night and her plan to lose her virginity to Mal still in place, Alina wrings her hands out in front of her as she stares up at the back of Aleksander’s head. And if she doesn’t ask now then she might not get another chance…

“I did have a question for you,” she says quickly. Aleksander stops and turns to look at her, his eyebrows raising. She looks from him to the railing in the distance, and back. “Before tomorrow.” 

Aleksander tilts his head to the side a little. “Yes, Alina?” 

“Um…” she bites at her bottom lip. “Well, what if I…um…” she swallows hard and forces herself to look up at his eyes. “What if I want Mal to try and choke me? Like not hard, but just…in general.” 

That makes Aleksander’s eyebrows rise even farther towards his hairline, but Alina doesn’t miss the way he pulls himself up to stand straighter. 

“It’s fine to want that, Alina, but you should be confident that you trust him completely. There shouldn’t be a doubt in your mind that he wouldn’t hurt you, or that he would stop if you ask him to.” 

Alina nods. That’s along the lines of what she read, and she does trust Mal enough to stop if she asks him to. But the idea of asking him to do it in the first place makes her nervous. 

“I trust him,” Alina says. “I just…I don’t know how to ask without it seeming weird.” She almost whispers the last bit, and Aleksander’s heavy gaze doesn’t help her nerves. 

There’s a beat of silence, and Alina’s mind swims with nerves and the smell of Aleksander’s shampoo. 

“You can ask. It’s straightforward and direct, and open communication is always nice. Or, depending on the situation, you could take his hand and place it on your throat and hope he gets the idea. He should, based on what I’ve heard, but another thing to keep in mind is that there’s a right way and a wrong way to do this.” 

Alina’s eyebrows knit together. “What do you mean?” 

Aleksander licks his lips and looks towards the stairs for a beat then back to her. “Do you want me to show you?” 

The voice in the back of Alina’s mind says no, absolutely not, but she finds herself nodding. “Yes, please.” Aleksander walks towards her and Alina takes an instinctual step back, but then the wall is there and all she can do is look up at him. 

“Do you want to practice?” He asks, his voice low. 

Alina swallows hard as she reaches out and takes his hand in both of hers. It’s larger than hers, and warm, and she can feel his callouses against his palm. She thinks about how she would do this with Mal and slides his hand up her body and over her chest before placing his hand at her throat. 

Aleksander’s hand covers it completely and Alina shifts a little, lifting her chin and keeping her eyes on his. He leans forward, propping his other arm on the wall just above her head until he’s angled towards her. 

“Do you trust me?” He asks softly. 

“Yes,” Alina whispers. Of course, she does. She always has.

“The way it shouldn’t be done is by pressing into your neck. I’ll do it gently, okay? But if you want me to stop, tell me to stop, or push me.” Alina tries to nod, but he’s already holding her in place. He presses his hand into the front of her throat a little and Alina immediately fights the urge to cough. Aleksander stops only a second later. “That’s the wrong way to do it. He shouldn’t crush your windpipe. That’s not enjoyable for anyone.”

Alina nods a little. “And the right way?” She asks softly. 

Aleksander’s eyes bore into hers as he adjusts his grip ever so slightly, and presses his fingers into the sides of her neck. There’s a little bit of pressure, then it’s gone. Alina gasps, and Aleksander does it again. 

“Do you feel the difference?” Aleksander asks, his voice soft. His dark eyes search her face as he presses lightly one more time, and Alina fights the urge to make a noise. She bites at her bottom lip and nods her head.

“Yeah,” she whispers. 

They stand there with Aleksander’s hand still on her neck and his body angled towards hers, and then he shifts and stands and he’s gone away from her. Alina stays leaning against the wall as Aleksander straightens and she tries to take a deep breath without making any noise. There’s a familiar feeling between her legs, but she ignores it.

“You shouldn’t do anything that would need safe words tomorrow, but if you want to experiment down the road then it would be worth you two talking about it.”

“What kind of safe words?” Alina asks, pushing herself away from the wall. Except, she pushes herself closer to Aleksander. 

Aleksander looks down at her, and there’s a tick in his jaw that she’s seen a few times before. “If the time comes, we can talk about it then. But I think we should get back to everyone else before they come looking for us.” 

Alina nods. “Yeah, probably.” 

Aleksander motions for her to walk ahead of him, and Alina hopes to the saints that she doesn’t look flustered by the time she walks back into the dining room. 

The following night at the party, Alina gets ready with Zoya, Tamar, and Nadia at Tamar and Nadia’s place, and then they meet everyone else at the mansion. 

Alina originally thought she’d show up with Mal, but he said that Mikhael had an issue with his costume and they needed to run to the store to fix it so he’d be a little late. 

When Alina gets out of the car she pulls her jacket around her shoulders tighter. It’s cold outside, but she knows that Aleksander is going to have heaters outside, and the hot tub will be going, and the pool is heated. They’re waived in by security and Alina hands her jacket off when she steps through the door. The old money grandeur of the Morozova mansion has been replaced with gothic decor and Halloween decorations. 

Alina smiles as she follows the girls into the living room. Most of the furniture has magically disappeared and there’s a spread of finger foods and deserts all across one wall, and she can see the bar set up outside. She knows that there’s more substantial food in the kitchen, but Aleksander said he wasn’t planning on stuffing all of the guests tonight. 

Alina goes for the cookies as Zoya and Nadia make their way to the bar, and then the guys are pouring into the room from the stairs. 

“I was hoping you would go with Persephone,” Tolya says as he reaches for a small cake with a jelly spider on top. 

“Yeah, I had a lot of fun with this one.” Alina smiles. 

“Where’s the boyfriend?” Nikolai asks. “I need a beer pong rematch.” 

Alina snorts. “He’s on his way. Mikhael had a problem with his costume.” 

“Okay, I’ll be on the lookout for him.” Nikolai rocks on his toes a little. “But if you get drunk tonight we’re putting a stop to you losing your v-card.” 

Alina gapes at him. “Absolutely not.”

“Oh, yes, we are.” Tolya raises his eyebrows at her. “A few drinks is fine, but if you’re drunk, Alina, you’re going to have to reschedule.” 

Alina crosses her arms over her chest and glares at them. “Did Aleksander tell you?” 

The two of them look at each other. “No, it wasn’t him,” Tolya says slowly.

“We’re just looking out for you, love.” Nik reaches out and squeezes her arm. “Don’t hold it against us.” 

When they walk off, Alina watches them go. She hasn’t seen Aleksander yet, but she’ll be damned if she’s going to let him share something she told him in confidence. Despite whether Nikolai and Tolya say he didn’t tell them or not. 

She doesn’t find him in the backyard, or the kitchen, or the cellar, or his dad’s study, so she heads for his room. The door is slightly ajar and she knocks a couple of times before pushing it open even more. Aleksander is standing by his bed as he pulls on a thick coat, and Alina watches as he smoothes it out across his chest. 

He’s wearing black and gold, something similar to what she’s wearing, though she has various flowers woven throughout the fabric and in her hair. They almost look like they’re supposed to be matching. 

When he looks at her, Aleksaner’s dark eyes roam over her slowly, from her face to her feet and back again. She’s wearing a black robe dress with slits on both sides that go up to her hips, and it has a plunging neckline. Gold bracelets wind up her arms and her flowers are wrapped around her waist with vines and secured in her hair. She even has a crown atop her head made to look like bones.

“Good evening, Queen of the Underworld.” 

“Good evening…Darkling?” Alina tilts her head to the side a little. “You chose him?” 

Aleksander looks himself over. “Why not? I think it fits.” Aleksander smirks. Alina supposes it does. It was a story they heard growing up, about people with powers and a boy who could control shadows and wanted to plunge the world into darkness. She could never see Aleksander wanting that, but perhaps at certain times she could. 

When Alina doesn’t answer, Aleksander grabs his phone and slips it into his pocket then walks towards her. “Did you need something, Miss Starkov?” 

Alina grits her teeth and crosses her arms over her chest, glaring up at him. “Did you tell Nikolai and Tolya that I was going to lose my virginity tonight?” 

Aleksander raises an eyebrow. “No.”

Alina’s glare deepens. “Then how do they know?” 

At that, Aleksander sighs. “It’s not like your boyfriend was keeping it a secret,” he says, his voice low.

A chill creeps up Alina’s spine. “What?” 

“He told Mikhael and Dubrov, and I think a few other people, at a party last weekend. Nikolai heard, and I think someone texted Tolya about it.” 

Alina frowns. “Mal said he was just having a guys’ night with them, I don’t think it could be considered a ‘party.’” 

“Well, call it what you’d like, Alina, but I wasn’t the one who told them.” Aleksander slips around her. “Maybe you should ask him.” 

And with that, Aleksander disappears into the hall, leaving Alina to stare after him. 

Mal shows up about forty-five minutes later, which is just shortly after the party kicks off into full-swing. There’s dancing, bobbing for apples, cornhole, beer pong, beer funnels, a safer version of axe throwing, and of course people jumping into the heated pool and hot tub.

“There you are.” Alina smiles as she pulls Mal in for a kiss. He tastes like marijuana and fireball, which isn’t a great combination. “I was wondering when you would get here.”

“Yeah, after we fixed Mikhael’s costume Dubrov wanted to pregame.” He kisses Alina’s cheek. “Sorry I’m late.” 

When he pulls back he looks down at her. “Fuck, you look hot.” Alina beams. “Screw dressing as Meg, I should’ve been Hades.” 

“Maybe next year.” Alina leans into him, placing her hands on his chest. “Do you want to dance?” 

“Hell yeah, I do.” Mal smiles at her and Alina can’t help but feel giddy as she takes his hand and leads him through the house.

She hasn’t seen Tolya or Nik, or Aleksander for that matter, but she doesn’t care. She’s had one mixed drink and she doesn’t want to be drunk when she loses her virginity, but the longer she can keep the guys away from her and Mal, the better. 

Now, dancing with Mal is something Alina has done a lot of. Her back pressed to his chest, his hips pressed against hers, and the low thrum of alcohol in her blood making her a little more daring than usual. She can’t really feel him with the costume he’s wearing, but that’s fine. 

Eventually, though, the guys do find Mal and he’s whisked into a game of beer pong. Alina is brought in to do a round of shots and then a round of axe throwing—with very blunted, almost childish axes since, you know, trusting a bunch of drunk young people with something actually sharp would be a terrible idea—and then she dances with her friends for a bit. Then, eventually, she can’t find Mal. 

She checks the dance floor, then out front, then the gazebo where most people tend to go to smoke, and it’s only when she’s walking by the pool that she sees Mal climb out of it. Most of his costume is gone and he’s laughing, along with a group of other guys from their class. 

When Mal sees her, he grins, but before Alina’s smile can widen, her eyes drift down to his chest and where his damp tank top is hanging lower than usual. There’s a dark red and black bruise about the size of a nickel on his collar bone, then another one a little lower.

He tugs his tank top off to wring it out, stumbling to the side a little as he goes, and when he turns to shove one of the other guys into the pool, Alina sees what appears to be a bite mark on his trap muscle and faint scratches down his back. 

Her heart hammers in her ears as she stares at him, her throat tight. Then when Mal turns to walk towards her, she points at his chest.

“Are those hickeys?” She asks, her voice deathly low but loud enough to be heard over the music. 

Mal doesn’t even look at where she’s pointing. “No, babe, they’re bruises. I got them last weekend.” He smiles a little. “Come on, you know I wouldn’t do that to you.” 

Alina starts shivering, but she crosses her arms over her chest. “And what? When you were roughhousing you expect me to believe someone bit your trap?” She tilts her head to the side. “Or raked their nails down your back?” 

The laughter around them has died down and it’s clear that all eyes are on them, but she only stares at Mal.

“Do you think I’m that fucking stupid?” She asks.

Mal sighs and—rolls his eyes. “You can’t blame me for having urges, Alina. We’ve been dating for three months and you haven’t put out once—“

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Alina’s voice rises. “So it’s my fault you couldn’t keep it in your goddamn pants for, what, ninety days? Really, Malyen?” 

The music is turned down considerably and Mal shifts on his feet, but then he sighs heavily and stalks towards her. “Oh you’re so fucking dramatic. You treat sex like it should be on some pedestal when it’s just a matter of getting fucked.”

Alina’s cheeks heat as she glares at him. “Is that why you went around telling people that we were going to have sex? You’re such a fucking asshole.”

“Oh and you’re such a goddamn Saint, right? Acting like I’m a monster when for all I know, you’ve been slutting it out to your so-called friends for years ” 

“How fucking dare you.” Alina launches herself at him but a strong arm wraps around her waist and hauls her back, but not before she slaps Mal hard enough to make him stumble back a little. 

The next few things are a blur. 

Security comes outside, the crowd thickens, and then Alina is being hauled into the kitchen by Tolya. When she’s let go, Alina whirls around as tears stream down her cheeks. 

“Breathe, Alina.” 

“He’s such a saints-damned asshole.” She sniffles and pats her fingers beneath her eyes in an effort to not smudge her makeup. “Fuck I can’t believe I ever liked him.” She sniffles some more and tries to blink away her tears. “I was so stupid.” 

Tamar, Nadia, and Zoya come in too and surround her in a group hug. 

“It’s okay,” Nadia whispers.

“He’s such a dick. Always has been. You’re way too good for him anyways.” Zoya moves a strand of hair that’s sticking to Alina’s cheek from her tears. 

“That was a nice slap though.” Tamar smiles, and it actually pulls a smile from Alina too. 

“Would’ve been more if I hadn’t gotten manhandled,” she says, looking pointedly at Tolya.

He only shrugs. “Can’t have you getting thrown out too. You’ll thank me tomorrow.”

There’s a commotion and when they all move towards the opening of the kitchen, Alina has just enough time to see Mal getting half dragged by security to the front door with a bloody lip, and Aleksander and Nikolai are following behind them. Though Alina doesn’t miss the way Aleksander shakes his hand out at his side and then looks at his knuckles.

“What the fuck happened in the last sixty seconds?” Alina mutters.

She can hear the front door slam closed and then the music starts up again, and Nikolai walks into the kitchen with Aleksander nowhere to be seen. Alina is handed a drink by Nadia and she leans against the counter as Nikolai pours himself a shot from the bottle of liquor he keeps in the bottom cabinet. 

“What happened out there?” She asks when Nikolai downs the shot.

“Mal tried to argue that he shouldn’t get thrown out because he didn’t do anything. Aleksander told him it was his party and he could throw out whoever he wanted. Mal told him that Aleksander wouldn’t have given a shit if it wasn’t for the fact he didn’t like Mal and was jealous because he wanted to fuck you himself. So,” Nikolai pours another shot, “Aleksander punched him and security took him away.” He shoots this one too, then Alina motions for him to give her one.

“Where’s Aleksander now?” She asks.

“Hall bathroom washing his hands.”

Alina takes the shot from Nikolai and downs it, then she turns and heads for the bathroom on the other side of the house. 

No one pays her any attention and Alina lifts her chin as she raps on the door a couple of times then walks in when there’s no one telling her to stop.

Aleksander has shrugged off his jacket and his hair curls slightly over his forehead as he wipes at his hand with a rag. One of his knuckles is steadily bleeding, and Alina wonders if maybe he cut it on one of Mal’s teeth. He glances at her when she shuts the door, but he says nothing. His jaw clenches when she leans her hip against the counter.

“I didn’t know Aleksander Morozova got into fist fights,” she says after a minute.

He snorts a little, the corner of his mouth turning up. “You don’t know everything about me, Miss Starkov.”

“Maybe, but I do know you need to put pressure on that and not just keep rinsing off the blood.” She nods towards his hand. “Let me see.”

Aleksander sighs but straightens and lets Alina take his hand in hers along with the rag. She presses the warm, damp rag against his knuckles hard enough to make him hiss, but he stays still and lets her handle it. “I appreciate you defending me, but he was just trying to rile you up.”

“I know,” Aleksander sighs. Alina can feel his breath fan out over the top of her head. 

“So, are you that much of a hot head to let some words get to you? Even when you know that they’re doing it on purpose?”

“He insulted you, Alina. Whether he was trying to rile me up or not doesn’t matter when his main intent was to paint you in a bad light.”

Alina huffs out a laugh and Aleksander’s hand flexes in hers. Just twenty-four hours ago she was worried about losing her virginity to her boyfriend and this same hand was wrapped around her neck to show her how she could be choked properly. Now, she’s single and that hand is currently bleeding. 

“Amused?” Aleksander asks. Alina glances at him, noticing the way the corner of his mouth turns up as he looks down at her.

“A little,” she admits. “I think most people would be shocked to know that Aleksander Morozova is actually a big softie when it comes to his friends.”

“Only where you’re concerned,” Aleksander says softly. Alina sucks in a soft breath as she looks up at him. Aleksander’s mouth twitches. “Nikolai and Tolya can hold their own.”

Alina’s breath catches in her throat, but she swallows hard. She tries to smile too. “You’ve defended them on occasion too.” 

When she removes the rag, it seems like the bleeding has stopped, so she puts the rag down and goes for the first aid kit beneath the sink. They don’t need anything fancy, just some Neosporin and then some gauze to cover all of his knuckles completely and let them heal. 

In the end, the bandage is neat, the rag is rinsed and thrown in the hamper, and Aleksander is shrugging his jacket back on as Alina turns towards the door. 

“I can still stay the night, right?” She asks, looking at Aleksander over her shoulder.

“Like I would let you leave when I have a feeling you’re planning on getting wasted.” He reaches around her and opens the door. “Besides, I would much prefer you be here asleep than having sex and forcing my dear housekeeper to clean up after you.”

Alina’s cheeks flare. “I would have stripped the bed myself.”

Aleksander flashes her a shit eating grin before his hand is at her lower back and he’s propelling her out into the hallway. She idly wonders if people are going to talk once they join the party together, but she can’t find it in her to care for long. She has a drink, she has her friends, and then she’s pulled into a dance and she tries to decide if she should get drunk or she would rather be coherent tomorrow. 

So, she drinks, she eats, she parties, and she has fun. Even more fun than she feels like she would have had with Mal. After all, if she was still intent on losing her virginity tonight, she’d be more worried about that and making sure she didn’t drink too much and had ibuprofen on standby, but now she can just…relax.

The party is still going by the time three o’clock rolls around, but Tamar and Nadia already called it a night around an hour ago and went to the room downstairs that Baghra renovated a couple of years ago, and Nikolai and Tolya are still going strong with others at beer pong. She lost track of Aleksander a little while ago, but she does remember seeing him dancing with some girl, so she assumes that he probably already slipped away with her.

When Alina gets upstairs, she sighs and pops her neck. Ana knew not to expect her back tonight, and she’s honestly not as drunk as she expected to be. Then again, she also hasn’t drank in a couple of hours. Her feet don’t make a sound on the thick carpet, but she can hear Aleksander’s voice coming from the little alcove that overlooks the backyard when she reaches for the knob of her usual room.

“No, mother, everything is fine. No, no cops were called.” Alina walks towards his voice. “Yes, I will. I love you both too. I’ll see you soon. Goodnight.”

Aleksander sighs when the call ends, and Alina clasps her hands behind her back as she peeks her head around the wall to look at him. “Worried parents?” She asks.

“I had to tell them what happened with Mal.” Aleksander sighs again and runs his bandaged hand through his hair. “They’re not happy, but I think they’re relieved that there won’t be an incident report about it.”

“Understandable.” Alina nods her head. There’s a beat of silence, and then:

“Are you calling it a night?” Aleksander asks.

“Yeah.” As if to make her point, Alina yawns. “I’m all partied out.”

“Me too.” The corner of Aleksander’s mouth turns up. 

“If I’m being honest, I thought you would’ve turned in with your lab partner.” Alina says, tilting her head to the side a little as she gauges his reaction.

Aleksander lifts an eyebrow. “Now, why would I do that?”

Alina shrugs. “Some girls like boys who get into fights. Besides, that’s why you invited her, isn’t it?” She challenges, raising an eyebrow back.

“Maybe some do, but not when it’s in defense of another girl.” Aleksander shrugs a little. “I invited her to be nice. Just because I said I think she has a crush on me doesn’t mean I also have a crush on her.”

“I suppose that’s fair.” Alina lifts herself up on the balls of her feet for a moment. “Good night, Aleksander.

“Sweet dreams, Alina.” Aleksander inclines his head, and then Alina turns and heads for her room. 

She takes her time undoing her hair and sliding out of her dress, and drinking more water, then she grabs a fresh fluffy towel and jumps in the shower. Honestly, it’s not her room, but considering that she has her favorite bathing products, a spare toothbrush, and clothes in the dresser, she assumes it might as well be.

When she’s done bathing, and has even done the pared down version of her skincare routine, Alina throws on an oversized university shirt she’s pretty sure is supposed to be Aleksander’s, brushes out her hair, then lays down in bed. She can feel sleep pulling at her, and it seems like the party may have winded down since the host is no longer there since she can’t hear the music, but every time Alina closes her eyes she feels…restless. Frustrated and pissed off with Mal, but also pent up in a way she hasn’t experienced in a while. She was supposed to lose her virginity tonight and she’s spent all week thinking about it. 

She goes back to some of the videos that Aleksander sent her almost a week ago, slipping her hand beneath the covers and trying to work herself up. Except she’s done that a couple of times this week and now the videos don’t have the same impact as they did before. 

So, blame the alcohol and a serious lapse of judgment, but Alina kicks her covers back and heads for the door. The hallway is quiet and dimly lit by old electric sconces that she’s always admired, and she makes her way down to Aleksander’s room quickly. She’s not sure where Nikolai and Tolya are, but maybe if she’s lucky Nikolai will have found a room with Zoya and Tolya might still be downstairs.

Standing in front of Aleksander’s door, Alina swallows hard and knocks softly. There’s not an answer, but she can hear another door in his room open so she knocks one more time before she cracks it open and peeks inside. 

Aleksander is standing in front of his dresser with damp hair and only his pajama pants on. His intricate costume is nowhere to be seen and his hand isn’t bandaged anymore. When Alina slips inside the door and shuts it softly behind her, Aleksander turns to look at her. His eyebrows furrow together a little as he looks her over.

“Everything okay? I thought you would already be asleep.” He turns towards her fully, and Alina bites the inside of her cheek as they look at each other.

“I couldn’t sleep,” Alina admits softly. Aleksander’s face shifts from concern to slight confusion, and Alina pushes off the door and walks towards him slowly. “And I maybe had a question for you.”

When she’s a few feet away, Aleksander has to tilt his head down to look at her properly and there’s a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. “You’ve been asking me a lot of questions lately, Miss Starkov.”

Alina tugs at her bottom lip with her teeth and Aleksander’s eyes drop to the motion for a moment. “Would you rather I didn’t?”

“On the contrary. I want you to come to me for anything that’s on your mind, rather than someone else.” Alina’s heart hammers in her ears as they look at each other. She swallows around the lump in her throat. “What was your question, Alina?”

Alina takes a silent, deep breath. “Will you take my virginity?”

She’s pretty sure she can see Aleksander stop breathing. Or maybe she’s the one that stops breathing. The only sounds around them are of the house settling and they don’t waver in their gaze as they look at each other. 

“Is that what you want?” He asks quietly. “You’ve had a long night, Alina, I don’t want you to–”

“I want you,” Alina assures him. “And I was thinking that, maybe after tonight, you might feel the same way.”

Aleksander’s jaw clenches, his breath changes, and then he’s reaching up and tucking a strand of still damp hair behind her ear. The hairs on the back of Alina’s neck stand. 

“I do.” He trails his thumb down her cheek softly. 

“So,” Alina whispers, her eyes drifting to his lips, “what are you going to do about it?”

Aleksander lets out a quick breath as he cups the side of her face, then he tilts her head back and presses his lips to hers. His lips are soft against hers and Alina hums as she places her hands on his bare chest to steady herself. His other arm comes out to wrap around her waist and he pulls her body flush against his. Aleksander’s tongue slips between her lips easily as Alina slides her arms up to wrap around his shoulders and she slides her fingers into the damp hair at the nape of his neck. 

When they were younger, she thought about how it would feel to kiss Aleksander, but she never thought it was something that would ever happen. He tangles his fingers into her hair and licks deeply into her mouth, pressing her ever closer to him to where she can feel him hardening against her stomach. 

Aleksander breaks the kiss for only a second before he picks her up and Alina wraps herself around him as he carries her to the bed. His bed is a little firmer than the one in her room, but she melts into it all the same. Aleksander is cradled between her legs when he settles atop her, their breaths mingling and their tongues swirling together at a desperate pace. Alina moans softly when she lifts her hips and feels Aleksander’s hardening cock through his pajama pants, and Aleksander takes it as an invitation to grind into her. She can’t tell how big he is through his pants, just that he’s hard.

“I thought you would just get yourself off and call it a night,” Aleksander murmurs against her lips. 

“I tried,” Alina pants, “but the videos don’t work anymore.”

Aleksander laughs softly and kisses her again. “I’ll take care of you.”

Alina cups the side of his face, loving the way Aleksander leans into it. “I know.”

They kiss a little more but Aleksander’s hands wander beneath the hem of his shirt she’s wearing and grip her waist as he grinds himself into her some more. She and Mal have grinded together before while they’ve danced and when they’ve made out, but aside from that and some touching over their underwear, there hasn’t been much else.

Aleksander grinds into her with a steady pace until Alina is practically whining beneath him. She wants more. She needs more. “Aleksander,” she pouts, “stop teasing me.”

“I’m not teasing you.” Aleksander smiles. “I’m taking my time.”

Alina huffs, but Aleksander props himself above her and reaches between her legs to gently rub her through her underwear. Alina makes a noise she’s never made before with Mal, and Aleksander hums as he presses harder against her clit. He rubs slow circles against her and Alina brings his lips back to hers as she tries kissing him again. Just his fingers already feel so much better than her own.

“What do you want me to do, hm?” He asks. He presses a kiss to her jaw, then her throat. “I have a feeling that you have ideas.” He moves down to kiss her collarbone. When he moves back to her neck he sucks hard enough to leave a bruise and every coherent thought leaves Alina’s body. 

Alina grazes her nails across his back as she arches into him. Not hard enough to leave marks, but enough to where she can feel his muscles jump beneath her touch. “I want you in control,” she murmurs. 

Aleksander brings his dark eyes to hers, his lips parted and a little swollen from the amount of kissing they’ve done. “Do you trust me?” He asks for the second time in the past two days.

Alina nods. “Always.”

The kiss Aleksander gives her is sweet, and almost soft, but definitely hot. “If you want me to stop–”

“I’ll tell you,” Alina assures him. 

Aleksander nods and lets out a quick breath before they go back to kissing and he continues his movements between her legs. After a moment he pulls back and grips the hem of the shirt she’s wearing. Alina sits up and Aleksander takes it off of her. It gets thrown somewhere and then she’s bare except for her panties. 

She holds her breath as he looks her over, his hand coming up to glide along her side before his thumb grazes the side of her breast. Alina reaches up to place a hand at the back of his neck to bring him in for a kiss. Aleksander goes willingly, and then his bare chest is pressed against hers and Alina is pretty sure this is one of the best feelings ever. 

Aleksander tugs lightly at her bottom lip then runs his tongue over the sting. Alina moans softly into his mouth as she threads her fingers into his hair. 

“He would have never deserved to see you like this,” Aleksander says when they both come up for air. 

“Well…” she has sexted with Mal before, and sent pictures. But physically…

Aleksander raises an eyebrow. “Pictures don’t count.” 

Alina’s cheeks flare but she nods, and then Aleksander pulls back again and all Alina can do is watch him as he sits back on his heels and hooks his fingers under the waistband of her panties. Alina lifts her hips to help and then they’re off and Aleksander is putting them in the pocket of his pajamas. 

Alina fights the urge to press her legs together as Aleksander looks down at her, but she can feel her cheeks flare as he licks his lips. She’s completely naked in front of him. She feels like she should hide, or get under the covers, but this is Aleksander. Her Aleksander. And there’s no other place she’d rather be. 

The way he slides onto his stomach is hotter than it has any right to be, and Alina watches with bated breath as he hooks his arms beneath her knees and splays one hand over her stomach. His breath fans out over her center and his eyes find hers as he kisses one thigh, then the other.

“Did Mal ever go down on you?”

Alina pouts. “You know he didn’t.”

“I do,” Aleksander smiles a little, “I just wanted to hear you say it.”

Alina fights the urge to roll her eyes as Aleksander licks into her from her entrance to her clit. She gasps and her hips jerk instinctively, but Aleksander’s hand on her stomach pins her down to the bed easily. He’s so much bigger than her that she figures this is probably nothing for him. He looks up at her as he sucks her clit into his mouth and pulls gently, then licks into her again. It almost reminds her of one of the videos he sent her, but when he pulls back and she expects him to sink his fingers into her, he only presses one in slowly. 

“Such a perfect little pussy,” he breathes, and then his mouth is back delving into her. His fingers are obviously bigger than hers, but just one of them feels fine. Amazing, even. And it makes her wonder how long it would take before she’s able to easily take two right from the beginning. He fucks her slowly with one finger as his tongue assaults her clit, but Alina’s body screams for more.

“Aleksander, please,” she begs. 

He pops off her clit with a wet sound, but his finger doesn’t stop moving. “Please, what, baby?”

Oh, she definitely likes the sound of him calling her that. “I need another finger.”

Aleksander hums. “Have to ask nicely, milaya.” 

Part of Alina wants to huff, but another part of her, the part that she tried to ignore every time she thought about his Control text message, turns into putty. She whimpers. “Can I please have another finger?”

“Fucking hell.” Aleksander pulls his finger out enough for him to position another finger at her entrance, and Alina holds her breath as he pushes both of them in slowly. “Breathe, Alina.”

Alina does as he says and drags in a breath at the slow stretch, then his fingers are knuckle deep inside of her and Alina realizes she’s never been this stretched out in her life. Her pants turn into whines and whimpers as he delves into her again, and she can hear the wet sound of him devouring her pussy over the sound of her ragged breathing. 

She at least knows what it’s like to come, but she still finds that she needs more. What kind of ‘more’ she has no idea. But it feels like her skin is tight and she needs something else to happen. Aleksander moans against her cunt and Alina makes a sound that’s somewhere between a sob and a moan. Aleksander’s free hand takes one of hers and guides it to his hair, then he reaches up to one of her breasts. He kneads it slightly then he pulls gently at her nipple as he flicks his tongue over her clit over and over again.

Alina can feel that familiar build in her stomach and when Aleksander licks into her with firm, long strokes, she can’t help but grind against his face. Aleksander moans against her, seemingly okay with her using him how she wants. 

Her grip tightens in his hair and she clamps her free hand over her mouth to keep from being too loud, but when Aleksander curls his fingers inside of her and his tongue rubs against her clit one last time, Alina comes with a cry. She continues to grind against Aleksander’s face as he works her through her come down, and when her hips falter Aleksander lets up on his assault and brings her back to reality. 

When he’s done, Aleksander sits up and Alina watches as he places his free hand on her thigh and pumps his fingers inside of her a couple more times. His hand looks so big even compared to her leg. It’s a wonder his fingers even fit inside of her. When Alina sighs contentedly, he brings his eyes to hers and Alina can barely breathe as he slides his fingers from her then licks them clean slowly. 

That certainly wasn’t in any of the videos he sent her, and she hasn’t worked up the courage to find more for herself, but saints she understands now. Her pussy throbs and without thinking she reaches down to touch it. It’s soaking wet, obviously, but so, so sensitive to the touch that she pulls her hand back quickly. 

Aleksander crawls back on top of her and the feeling of his pajama pants sliding against her makes her whimper. 

“Is that how you expected it to be?” Aleksander asks as he gazes down at her. 

Alina clenches around nothing. “Mhm.” She can feel her pulse thumping in her neck. “I loved it.” Aleksander smiles at her then. It’s soft and kind of boyish—a smile that’s always made her heart skip a beat. “Does it always feel like that?” 

“It does if you know what you’re doing.” His smile widens, then he kisses one of her cheeks, then the other. 

Alina wraps her arms around his neck and brings him in for a proper kiss, momentarily forgetting that he was just between her legs. She’s a little surprised at how he tastes, but she doesn’t mind at all. She just wants to kiss him. 

Aleksander settles into her again and when he kisses down her throat, she loves when he sucks hard enough to leave a bruise. She hopes he does. She wants him to. She wants to wake up and remember what this night was like. How they fit together seamlessly. 

When she starts pushing at the waistband of his pajamas, Aleksander smiles against her lips as he helps her push them down, then he’s kicking them off and they’re gone. 

With his cock free, Alina can feel herself freeze. He’s big. Bigger than Mal, bigger than the guys in the porn videos he sent. A little sound comes from the back of her throat when he reaches down to pump himself a couple of times. Even in his hand he looks huge. Aleksander props himself back above her and Alina squirms when she feels how hard and hot it is against her stomach. The idea of taking it almost scares her, but there’s such an insatiable want deep inside of her that she can’t wait to feed. 

“You’re so big,” Alina says, though her voice catches in her throat on the last letter.

“Bigger than him?” Aleksander asks as he runs his nose along hers. 

Alina huffs. “Men.” 

Aleksander laughs softly as he grinds against her slowly. He grazes over her sensitive clit and Alina moans softly. “Tell me.”

“Of course, you are,” she admits. Her eyes are heavy as she looks at him. Like there was even a question. 

Aleksander grunts as he kisses her and Alina wraps herself around him happily. With his hand cradling her head and his bare cock sliding through her slick folds and his tongue in her mouth, Alina realizes that there could never be another person that makes her feel the way Aleksander does. Even during the day, when they’re joking around and he’s teasing her, it’s in the way he says her name and how he looks at her. 

They grind against each other for a moment and each movement builds something up in Alina that she’s never felt before. Sure, when Mal rubbed her through her leggings and underwear it felt nice, and when she got herself off it was good, but actually being with someone else…it’s so much different. On one particular tilt of his hips, Alina tilts hers and he slides easily across her pussy. She whines.

“Fuck.” Aleksander is panting as he rests his forehead against hers. 

“Are you okay?” Alina asks, carding her fingers through his hair.

“I am.” He gives her a quick kiss. “Are you?”

“Mhm.” Alina smiles.

“So you want to keep going?” 

“Yeah,” Alina breathes. “Please, Aleksander.”

“Of course, baby.” 

When Aleksander lifts himself from on top of her, Alina’s eyes immediately fall to his cock. There’s precome beading at the tip and it looks almost flushed from the amount of blood in it. 

Alina opens her legs a little wider, a silent invitation. 

“Will it hurt?” She whispers. Aleksander looks at her.

“I’m going to try and make sure it doesn’t. I know a lot of people say you need to bleed for your first time, but that’s not true.”

Alina nods. That’s something she heard within the last year, but she remembers early high school and hearing girls, and guys, talk about how bleeding meant you actually lost your virginity, and if you didn’t bleed then it didn’t work. Mal had that same thought. 

Aleksander opens the top drawer of his nightstand and pulls out a small packet, then he rips the corner with his teeth and pours the liquid onto himself. 

“Come prepared?” Alina teases, and Aleksander huffs as he puts the lube on his fingers then slips them back into her. With the added glide, she barely felt a pinch. 

“I try to keep some on hand. I do have a sex life but I’m not dumb enough to think that someone can take me without a little help.” 

When his fingers are out of her, Alina pouts, but then he’s lining himself up at her entrance and Alina is mesmerized by the sight of a naked Aleksander Morozova in the moonlight. He grips her thigh in one hand as he positions himself with the other, and then he’s pressing into her and Alina gasps. Her hands fly to his arm and she squeezes as he presses further and further in. 

His cock splits her in two as he lowers himself slowly on top of her. She pants and little sounds come from her throat, but then Aleksander’s tongue is wrapped around hers and he’s cradling her against him.

On one thrust she would swear that she could feel something pop, but Aleksander only grunts as he flexes through it. She can hardly breathe from how full she feels, how hard and thick Aleksander’s cock is when his hips are flush against hers as he moans softly into her neck. He kisses her deeply to keep her mind off the slight pain she feels when he readjusts, but she loves every second of it. 

“Fuck you’re so fucking tight around my cock, baby.” Aleksander’s breath is hot against her skin.

“So much.” Alina’s eyes water and her voice comes out high and barely there. “You’re so big.”

“Mhm, and you’re so perfect, milaya.” Alina preens under the compliment. “So, so sweet for me.” 

Aleksander pulls out slowly then presses back in. Alina’s hand goes to his bicep, holding onto it like it can ground her. He looks between them as he pulls out again almost to his tip, and Alina looks too. She watches as his cock disappears inside of her, sliding home like it was always meant to be.

“You’re taking me so well, baby. Look at how greedy you are with my cock in you.” 

“Saints.” On one thrust, Alina’s eyes flutter closed from the overwhelming feeling of bliss at having Aleksander inside of her and having him talk to her like that. “Keep talking, please.”

Aleksander smiles as he kisses her jaw. “You like how I talk to you, don’t you, sweetheart? Like hearing how much of a good girl you are, letting me stretch you out properly for the first time.”

With each word Aleksander picks up his pace and whatever pain Alina was feeling transforms into something different. Something hungry. She needs him to stay in her for the rest of their lives—keep her full so she never forgets this feeling. 

“Aleksander,” she moans. 

“That’s it, Alina—”

“Mnh.” Alina pouts angrily, though her eyes are closed so she can’t see Aleksander laugh, but she can feel his breath and hear the sweet sound.

“Thats it, baby,” he amends. “Such a sweet little pussy you saved for me.”

That definitely gets to her, and then when she opens her eyes to look at him, Aleksander holds her gaze as the hand that’s cradling her head slides around to wrap around her neck. When he squeezes a little, the moan that comes from her sounds nothing like any noise she’s ever made before. 

“This is what you needed, isn’t it, sweetheart?” Aleksander murmurs with his face just an inch away. He squeezes her neck gently again. “Needed someone to take care of you.” 

She did, especially for her first time. And who better to know what she needs than Aleksander? 

He pulls out to the point of almost leaving her completely and Alina whines. “Shh, I’ve got you, baby.” He slides back into her as he squeezes her neck and Alina can already feel her orgasm building. “You look so pretty with my cock inside of you.” 

“Aleksander,” Alina moans. 

“You’re mine, Alina,” Aleksander murmurs on one particularly deep thrust. Fuck. She clenches around him. “Aren’t you, baby?”

“Mhm.” Alina can hardly keep her eyes open. 

“Say it, sweetheart,” he commands softly. 

“I’m yours,” Alina pants. Her pussy wraps around him like a vice at even saying those words. 

Aleksander moans quietly. “I can feel how close you are, baby.” Alina sucks in a breath. Can he? She feels like she can hardly tell what she’s feeling. “That’s it, Alina. Come on my cock and show me how sweet you are when you do.” 

Alina whimpers as he picks up his pace, and she can’t help the way her hand shakes as she slips it between them to press to her clit. Just pressing down a little already feels so different from before, and she runs faster circles than she normally would. 

“Fuck, yeah, that’s my good girl.” He squeezes her neck a little tighter and Alina clamps down around him hard enough to make him hiss. 

“Aleksander—“ Tears prick the corners of Alina’s eyes. 

“I’m going to fill you up so everyone will know you’re mine,” he growls into her ear. 

“Sasha, please.”

“Come for me, Alina.” Another soft command, with one hand squeezing her neck and the other gripping her ass as he fucks into her. 

Alina comes with a cry that she tries to cover by kissing him. It’s a long orgasm that Aleksander takes his time working her through, but then he’s spilling inside of her and Alina is pretty sure that now is the most full she’s ever been in her life. He moves his hand from her neck to cradle the back of her head as he pants and moans softly in her ear and Alina hums as she scratches lightly at his scalp. 

When they’re both spent and their breathing is back to normal, Aleksander kisses her softly as he pulls out of her. It hurts a little, but not as much as she was expecting. As he leans back onto his heels, he takes her in. 

Alina wonders how she must look. Naked, flushed, maybe even thoroughly fucked like the girls from the videos with her and Aleksander’s combined come coating the inside of her thighs. Aleksander looks like a dream. Almost a kind of familiar one that she would have from time to time but tried to ignore. He runs a hand from her hip to her waist and back again. 

“You’ve always been the most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid my eyes on,” he murmurs. Alina sucks in a breath, and Aleksander looks at her. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” 

He holds out his hands to help her up and Alina hisses when she sits up. There’s definitely an ache between her legs that kind of hurts, and she wobbles when she stands but Aleksander is there keeping her upright. He even grabs the shirt she was wearing and slips it over her head before they get to his bathroom. 

“You should pee, but let me know if you’re bleeding.”

“Okay.” Alina nods, and she catches a quick smile from Aleksander before he kisses her cheek and leaves her in the bathroom. 

She does as he says and uses the bathroom, which does take a little longer than usual, and when she walks out Aleksander is just finishing changing his sheets. He looks at her when she turns off the bathroom light. His pajama pants are back on but his hair is still a mess, and Alina has to admit that she likes this Aleksander. 

“I am bleeding a little,” she admits. With more lights on, she feels a little too exposed standing in his bedroom with just a shirt on, even if it does almost go to her knees. 

Aleksander crosses over to her in only a few strides and looks down at her, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I’m sorry. I got carried away. I know that was a lot for your first time—”

“No, don’t apologize.” Alina shakes her head, but the concern on Aleksander’s face doesn’t change. “It was perfect.”

He presses his lips into a thin line but Alina cups the side of his face and leans up to give him a kiss. He wraps an arm around her to press her against him. “I promise,” she assures him. 

“Okay.” Aleksander runs his hand up and down her side. “Do you have pads in your bathroom?” 

“Yeah, underneath the sink.” 

“I’ll go get one for you.” He kisses her cheek and turns to go. But then he stops and pulls her underwear out of his pocket. “You might need these.” He grins at her, that bright, breathtaking smile that she loves. 

“Thanks.” Alina can feel her cheeks heat as she takes them. 

“I’ll be right back.” 

With a wink, Aleksander is out of the room and Alina pulls on her underwear while she waits. Is she just…supposed to go back to her room? Well, if she was maybe he would’ve told her to put one on when she got back to it, not have gone to get it himself. Is she supposed to sleep in here with him tonight? Does he really want her to?

She’s so caught up in her head that she doesn’t move from her spot and she’s steadily worrying at her nail when Aleksander comes back into the room. Alina jumps a little as she looks at him, and Aleksander raises an eyebrow at her as he comes to stand in front of her again. 

“Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, I was just thinking.” She smiles a little, then takes the pad. “Thank you for getting this.” 

She slips back into the bathroom to put the pad on, and when she emerges a moment later, Aleksander is lying in his bed. Only the bedside lamp is on now and he looks towards her immediately when the door opens. Like before, Alina isn’t sure what she’s supposed to do now. 

Aleksander moves the covers back for her and extends an arm. “Come here.” 

Alina tries to keep her smile contained as she walks towards the bed and slides in beside him, but then Aleksander is wrapping her up in his arms and she’s pressed against his chest and this is what she needed. 

She buries her face into his neck and Aleksander hums as he massages her scalp with his fingertips. “Thanks for taking care of me,” Alina whispers against his skin. 

Aleksander shifts to look down at her. The hand in her hair slides to her cheek and he runs his thumb slowly over her cheekbone. “Always.” 

His eyes search her face. Her eyes search his. And then he’s pressing a soft, sweet kiss to her lips that makes Alina’s heart stutter. He runs his thumb down over her lip. “Mal was right,” he says softly. “I was jealous.”

Alina frowns. “Why?” 

Aleksander takes a deep breath and Alina counts the seconds. His jaw clenches and his lips press together, his tell that he’s debating on what to say next. 

“Aleksander, talk to me,” she presses. 

“Because I love you, Alina.” 

Alina sucks in a breath as they stare at each other. That doesn’t make sense…right? She had a crush on him when they were younger and he didn’t feel the same way. They grew up and whatever lingering feelings Alina may have she’s written them off as just being misplaced. Aleksander has had girlfriends and one night stands and he’s never hinted at ever having romantic feelings towards her. Hasn’t he? 

She thinks about the late nights and the teasing. About the compliments he so freely gives her any time he thinks she looks nice. Making sure that they get at least one dance together when the occasion calls for it. And the laughs. All of the laughs and silent jokes they’ve shared over the years. The late night calls and spur of the moment drives with just the two of them while the rest of the world sleeps, because sometimes just being near each other is better than nothing at all. 

“When?” Alina whispers.

“I couldn’t tell you,” he admits. “Somewhere along the way the lines got blurred and one day you laughed so hard at something I said you cried, and I realized I wanted to hear that for the rest of my life.” He sighs. “I know your feelings changed a while ago, and I told myself that was fine. As long as you were happy and with someone who cared about you, I could live with that. But I didn’t think Mal deserved you. Nik and Tolya called me out on being jealous, and I was. So, I figured if you were happy then whatever I felt didn’t matter.

“Then you asked me about sex and everything I had ever thought about you came back and fuck, the idea of him touching you pissed me off. I knew his locker room talk from high school. And I thought if I could maybe give you an idea for how things were supposed to be, then maybe you could have a good first time, even if it wasn’t with me.”

Alina bites the inside of her cheek. “And then we broke up and I came to you.” 

“Yeah,” Aleksander breathes. “I thought I was dreaming. Or maybe I actually was drunk. I’m not naïve enough to think that you could possibly feel the same way, and that’s okay, but I do want you to know that this wasn’t just a matter of getting laid for me.” 

Alina cups the side of his face, a small smile playing on her lips. “Me either.” Aleksander’s eyes widen a little. “I’ve spent so long pushing my feelings down and telling myself that they’re just normal, but I think deep down I just always wanted you even though you never felt the same way. I learned to live with them and I went numb to the constant ache I had whenever I was around you.”

Tears prick the corners of Alina’s eyes, and Aleksander wipes them away before they can fully form. “I’m sorry it took me so long, love.” 

“It’s okay.” Alina smiles. “I love you too.”

Aleksander smiles too, then he brings her in for another kiss. Kissing Aleksander is so much better than she thought it would be, and she thought it would be great. Kissing him makes her feel light and the way he cradles her against him makes her feel so, so loved. 

When Aleksander turns off the lamp, Alina turns around in his arms and he pulls her flush against his body. He feels so warm against her and the way he kisses the shell of her ear makes her shiver. 

“Sweet dreams, baby,” he whispers.

“Sweet dreams, Sasha,” Alina mumbles. 

She doesn’t know what’s going to happen when they wake up and their friends realize they finally slept together, but they’ll deal with that later. Right now, she just wants to lay in Aleksander’s arms and forget the world. 

After all, they have their lives ahead of them to make plans.