Chapter Text
"....I'm afraid of you and I love you...that's a bad combination."
Norman Bates was straightening his tie in the mirror of the tiny bathroom on the second floor. The same bathroom he shared with his mother, Norma. There were traces of her everywhere in the room, from her stockings hanging up on the shower curtain rod to her silk bra hanging on the doorknob of the room. She had told him several times that they were easier to dry this way. One of her lipsticks sat perched on the porcelain sink counter. His hand lingered to pick it up, if only for a moment, but returned back to his hair to push an errant strand into place.
Norma stood in the doorway looking at him almost disapprovingly, somewhat adoringly. She leaned against the door frame waiting for him to catch her eye. She was dressed in a blue and white 50s style dress, a white cardigan around her shoulders. Her arms were folded and the adoration in her face inevitably drew into lines of concern.
"Where are you going, Norman?" She said softly to his back as he continued to pick at his coat and straighten his clothes. He took some aftershave to pat his face and neck with.
"I've told you mother, for the hundredth time...out." He said with somewhat of a tremor but increasing determination. He knew where this would lead, and he didn't feel like getting started. But like clockwork, it began as it always did.
"Remind me again, who you are going...out...with?" She said adding more of a stern edge to her tone. Norman brushed past her in the doorway and headed towards the staircase. He didn't want to look back at her because every glance weakened the already little resolve he had to defy her and live like the teenage boy he wanted so desperately to be. He didn't care to spend another Friday night alone with her sitting in the family room staring into space. Not that he never minded it. He used to love that activity more than anything in the world. They used to do so much together. They used to sing songs, and talk for hours and they would dance, and she would let him rest his head on her chest and she would run her fingers through his hair and whisper to him all night.
He paused at the memories, only having to give in to them completely and return to those feelings. But as of late it had become too tense to even be around her for more than five minutes. There was always something wrong. Always something he was doing that didn't please her, or upset her in some way. He always felt "not good enough" and that someone else was always better than he was and that someone was always trying to take her away from him and her affections. He had suffered many countless nights alone in his room wondering just what had happened to let everything get this way. Tonight he didn't want to think about these things anymore. He was invited by some of his school classmates, including Cody, to attend a party out by the lake and he was going to go whether or not it happened to be the worst idea he could possibly imagine. He knew he had nothing in common with his classmates or their "extra-curricular" activities.
Norma huffed down the stairs quickly after Norman. He was not going to get away with just walking out on her without her consent. She liked NONE of his fellow classmates, especially the girls. She found NOTHING appealing about their style of dress and what was undoubtedly on their minds to be doing with her impressionable son. She couldn't fathom the thought of her son in the arms of one of those "punk school kids" probably with an earring in her nose or somewhere else...she shuddered at the thought. Why couldn't he just stay at the house with her or even go down to the motel and do a little work there?
Emma had left for the weekend. 'She was such a nice girl', Norma thought briefly. She would still love for Norman to have a special friendship with her. That she approved of. At least she knew where he would be at all times. The unknown was what she was now troubled by. What was he going to do out there that he couldn't do here with her?
"Norman....Norman....STOP!" She raised her voice and put a hand on his elbow. Norman spun around, exasperated.
"WHAT...Mother?" He said, almost snapping her name.
"It's just....It's just...I thought you'd rather spend some time here with me..." She started, hesitatingly poking his feelings for the sensitive spots. "You know if you leave me I'm going to be all alone here. I even made you some supper...pork chops....you like that...you know you like that Norman. It's one of your favorite meals."
She looked at him with her kind, motherly smile, pleading with her eyes. Her hand had not left his elbow. Norman took her hand and put it to her side. He didn't want her to continue with this game. He had seen her play it too many times as of late.
"No mother. I'm going out. I've told you a while ago that this party was going to happen and I was invited and YOU said yourself that I never get out of the house so I don't understand why you are holding me back now!" Norman's voice was beginning to raise and he had to will his emotions back down inside of his chest or he knew she was going to win....again. He stared at her in her eyes, not backing away, almost daring her to tell him that he could not leave. He would leave.
Something crossed over Norma's features. It was a look she always used when she decided to go to "Plan B". She stared at her son with as just as much intensity as he was giving back to her. "Alright, Norman, she said slowly. That's fine....you go on ahead and go out with your friends. No....that's fine...I totally understand the situation now. You're a man....you believe these girls have more to offer you than your mother does...and perhaps they do...in their pants. I don't know I only provide for your every need and have done your every command and wish...SINCE THE DAY YOU WERE BORN!!!"
She screeched out her last words, barely containing her claws as she almost lashed out at him. Norman bit his bottom lip. There it was. The guilt trip. 'She must really be desperate to switch gears this quickly.' He thought. A damned tear had started at the corner of his eye and he wasn't about to let her see it as it formed. He spun on his heel quickly and jerked open the inner door and pushed his way to the outer door of the house.
"AND YOU CAN JUST STAY OUT THERE....DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT COMING BACK INTO THIS HOUSE TONIGHT....GO FIND SOME WHORE TO SLEEP WITH!!" Norma pushed Norman hard at his back, shoving him the rest of the way out of the house. The resounding slams of both doors echoed into the darkness marking the finality of her decision. Norman turned back to the door, dumbfounded by her accusation and treatment. She really had gone too far. There was no reason that she should behave this way and make it an "end of the world" situation.
From inside he could hear the rattling of pots and pans and slamming of drawers and doors in the kitchen. He stood on the doorstep for a moment, looking up at the house. It was dark and silent other than the activity coming from the kitchen area. A light was on there and he could see her shadow moving rapidly within. He put his hand to the doorknob, his features resigned to his usual kowtowed expression, and already inside of him he was making the excuses he needed to hear to forgive her for her actions.
'She would be lonely...' He thought. 'She did need him...She did want him to be with her...how could he be such a horrible son?' He pushed the door open quietly and he heard a pause in the noise from the other room. It continued almost as quickly as it stopped and Norman shook his head. He knew she was listening for him to come back. He took off his jacket and laid it across the banister at the bottom of the staircase. He started back up the stairs to his bedroom and paused when he got to the top of the stairs to look over the railing at the house below. The noise had ceased in the other room, and he could feel her presence almost choking at the bit to come careening around the corner to him. But she stayed put in the kitchen.
He waited a moment more before going to his room and closing the door.