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The smell of freshly lit cigarettes and cheap booze filtered through the air, drunken patrons shoulder-to-shoulder beneath the heavy neon lights. Each turn of the fog machine sent smoke billowing through the club, as Noelle's hands clutched her cup to her chest. The place was unfamiliar to her, a completely different scene than she was used to, even before the circus.
Her stomach twisted into knots at the thought of the word. Circus.
It had been weeks since she'd escaped, entirely on her own, completely separated from everyone she knew prior. All that remained were memories, and even those tended to be a blur. Her mind drifted back to the circus — to Ragatha, to Pomni, to Kinger, to Jax. She'd been thinking of them for weeks, unsure of where they were now.
Most frequently, though, she thought about Zooble — or whatever their real name actually was.
She'd tried everything, searching for hours on the internet in an attempt to find them, scrolling through every profile and page that had any indication of them. There was nothing, and her search always came up empty. She was beginning to lose hope. If only—
Noelle's thoughts were interrupted by the feeling of a hand on her waist, gently squeezing her there as it guided her to the side.
"Sorry, don't wanna spill this drink on you," The voice spoke, low and a bit hushed beneath the loud music. Noelle glanced down, finding a set of tattooed fingers resting on the curve of her waist, just above the hem of her black skirt. Her mind spun as she realized that this was the only human touch she'd felt in weeks.
"N-No! It's totally fine, I was in the way!" She reassured, spinning around to meet the gaze of the person who'd gently ushered her aside. Her heart stuttered forward in her chest as their gazes met.
Glancing down at her was a pair of sharp, bright-colored eyes, dusted over in a soft green color that Noelle couldn't entirely make out due to the darkness. They wore a slightly loose-fitting leather jacket, rolled up enough to reveal tattooed forearms.
As Noelle's gaze traveled down, she took in their attire — a little bit casual for a club.
"Um, are you—?" She began, unsure how to finish.
The person in front of her managed a grin, nodding their head.
"The bartender, yeah," They replied, smoothly. "Just delivering a drink. You okay? You look pale."
Noelle's cheeks flushed at the information. She recalled that detail about Zooble, too. A bartender, who worked in sleazy bars and tattooed drunken clients on the side. She quickly shook those thoughts away, refusing to get her hopes up again. The chances of Zooble actually being in her city were slim to none.
Still, this person might just do. For the night, at least.
Noelle quickly steeled herself to respond. "Hm? Oh, yeah. I'm fine. Just a little, um, inexperienced, maybe?" She mumbled, uncertain.
The smooth bartender gave her an amused snort, chuckling softly under their breath.
"Inexperienced, huh?" They mused. "Not your scene?" They asked, tilting their head to the side.
Noelle managed a sheepish little smile. "That's pretty perceptive of you," She said, fidgeting with the hem of her sweater. "But, yeah — definitely not my scene."
The bartender tilted their head to the side, gazing upon Noelle with a look of interest and curiosity.
"You remind me of someone." The bartender spoke, their voice growing a bit softer, more contemplative.
A thick wave of silence blanketed the two, before the tattooed bartender extended a hand.
"Ashe," They introduced themself, waiting for Noelle to take it. "Sorry. I should've told you that sooner. Might've maid you a little less nervous."
Noelle was quick to accept their hand, glancing down to study the way Ashe's tattooed fingers wrapped around her pale ones. She felt her cheeks heat up, her mind reeling as she glanced up to meet their gaze once again.
"N-No, no. It's completely fine," Noelle waved her hands dismissvely, as the bartender released her. "To be honest, I'm just a bit of an anxious person in general, and this really isn't my usual scene…"
Another wave of silence washed over the two, leaving Noelle's words hanging in the air.
Ashe managed a sympathetic smile, shoving their hands into the pockets of their coat. "Y'know, it's not really mine either," They admitted, shrugging. "And I work here."
Noelle snickered, giggling softly at Ashe's humored responses. She was starting to feel much looser around them, much more confident in the unfamiliar space. It was a feeling she'd felt before, but not since the circus.
She quickly shoved those thoughts down again. Now wasn't the time to think about Zooble, or how much she desperately missed them. She steeled herself and glanced back up to the pretty bartender.
"Come outside with me." Noelle said, surprising herself with just how confident she sounded.
Ashe blinked a few times, their eyes a little wide at the request. A soft look crossed their features, almost a look of recognition and nostalgia, but it quickly turned into a cheeky grin, like they were ignoring that feeling.
Ashe turned their head, cupping their hand beside their mouth.
"Hey, Paul! I'm takin' a smoke break!" They called, their voice cutting through the loud music.
The angry bartender behind the counter, presumably Paul, gave an annoyed grimace. "You just took one!" He called back — but Ashe was already gone, taking Noelle by the hand and leading her to the set of double doors that led up to the rooftop.
Once outside, the chilly air nipped at Noelle's cheeks. Suddenly, her sweater felt a bit too thin, the cold seeping in between the gaps in the fabric. She shivered, finding herself subconsciously scooting in closer to Ashe as they guiding her to the edge of the roof.
"Cold?" They asked, glancing down. "Man, I shoulda made sure you had a coat. Here." They mumbled, shrugging theirs off.
Noelle blinked a few times, unsure how to process the gesture, as Ashe gently guided the leather jacket up onto her shoulders. She smoothed it out, straigthening the collar, before leaning back with an appreciative grin.
"It's a little big, but it suits you." Ashe hummed, letting the words hang in the air between them for just a moment.
They turned their head, gesturing to the fire pit that sat beside the edge of the roof, just a few feet away from a set of beige couches. A few houseplants were scattered around the small area, a couple of smaller ones sitting on the edge of the roof, while the larger ones bordered the couches.
Noelle sat down slowly, watching as Ashe lit the fire, poking at it.
"There," They spoke, their voice a bit huskier now. "Should keep you warm. I forgot how cold it was." They spoke, stepping back to sit down next to Noelle.
Noelle's mind was spinning, far too much to form coherent responses.
"R-Right." She mumbled, finally, attempting to gather herself. She seemed to have lost the confidence she'd gained in the bar, and now, Ashe's presence was making her head reel a bit.
Or, perhaps, it was the vodka and cranberry juice she'd consumed a few minutes prior.
"Thanks for coming outside with me," Noelle sighed, feeling her body relax as it realized that there were no more threats or loud music. Her shoulders sank back into the couch pillows. "It was too loud in there."
Ashe glanced down at her, their gaze fixed on the curve of Noelle's nose, the way her cheeks had grown a bit rosy from the cold. A look of recognition flashed in their eyes, which they quickly moved to ignore.
"Don't mention it," They replied. "But I have to ask, what brought you out here tonight? I mean, if I had a choice, I'd stay as far away from this sleazy place as possible." Ashe mumbled, an amused grin on their lips, hoping to provide Noelle a bit of silent comfort.
Noelle nodded her head, her fingers absent-mindedly trailing down to fidget with a loose thread on her sweater.
"No, you're right — and normally I would," She admitted, softly. "But my therapist thinks that socialization will help me. I recently went through something pretty traumatic…" She trailed off, unsure if she should expose the details in front of this complete stranger. They might think she was a hysterical lunatic if she tried.
"Something traumatic?" Ashe mumbled, their voice soft. There was no judgment, no uncertainty. Just understanding.
Noelle nodded her head. "Yeah. Like… life-changing." She confessed, her voice soft. She fidgeted with her fingers, unsure how to continue without sounding completely insane.
But when Ashe spoke again, she felt a bit better about the confession.
"Me too," Ashe sighed, leaning back against the couch. "And I think, if I told anyone, they might think there's something wrong with me."
"Yeah," Noelle agreed, her expression growing a bit softer. "I haven't even really told my therapist. I'm afriad she'll think I need psychiatric help." She mumbled, giving Ashe a sheepish, humored smile, which drew a small chuckle from them.
"Me too. Weirdly." Ashe rasped, their voice a bit husky from the cold.
Silence fell between them, and Noelle's heartrate increased tenfold. The two had been in similar traumatic situations, with details that neither wanted to discuss. She fidgeted with the bracelet on her wrist, her head spinning with thoughts of her past, the circus, of Zooble.
She heard Ashe's breath catch next to her, and when she glanced over, they looked pale, as if they'd seen a ghost.
"Your bracelet," Ashe rasped, their voice a bit broken. "Where— Where did you get that?"
Noelle's gaze flickered down to the red thread on her wrist, woven with white and black. She'd made it a few weeks ago, when she'd first returned from the circus, in an effort to ease herself back into her art. She fidgeted with the small charm she'd painted, of the comedy mask Zooble had once made for her.
"This? Oh, it's—" Noelle began, her voice cut off by the feeling of Ashe's hands on her face. She barely had time to process, before their desperate voice cut through the air.
"Is it you?" Ashe rasped, their eyes frantically searching hers. "Oh, God. Please tell me it's you." They begged.
It felt like a knife had been drug through Noelle's chest. It took a few moments for her to register the pleading of the tattooed bartender, whose body was now pinning her down to the couch beneath them. The moment the realization hit, her eyes went wide.
"Are you—?" Noelle breathed out, her voice catching. "Zooble?"
The name made Ashe's arms tremble as they held Noelle down. That was the only confirmation she needed, that this was the person she'd been searching for months for.
"Fuck," Ashe gasped, burying their face in the crook of Noelle's neck. "I thought I'd lost you forever. I was going insane."
Their hands gripped Noelle's sides with desperation, holding her as if they were afraid to let go. Their shoulders shook with uncontained yearning, after months spent searching every street, every bar, every apartment complex in the city for Gangle — or, Noelle, as they knew her now.
"Ashe," Noelle breathed, unable to keep herself from shaking. "Is it—?"
"It is," Ashe rasped. "It is. I swear it is. Don't leave." They begged.
Noelle had never heard Ashe act in such a way, not even when they were in the circus, when their lives depended on it. She reached up, digging her fingers into Ashe's slightly faded pink mullet, burying her hands beneath the shaggy locks.
"It's you." Noelle rasped, still a bit breathlessly.
"When I said you reminded me of someone earlier, I was talking about you. I wanted you so bad, I was about to kiss this random girl, just because she reminded me of you." Ashe explained, shaking their head as it rested against Noelle's neck.
"Well, turns out it was me all along," Noelle spoke, leaning down to rest her forehead against Ashe's. "I missed you so much."
"You have no idea," Ashe spoke, their voice deep and raspy. "Spent every goddamn day thinking about you." They admitted, leaning up to finally look into Noelle's eyes, to take in her human form with full appreciation now.
Ashe's mascara had smeared a bit, and upon seeing this, Noelle reached up, slowly wiping the black streaks away with her thumbs. She barely noticed Ashe's adoring gaze on her, until they spoke.
"You're so fucking pretty," Ashe rasped. "Even more than I imagined you would be."
Noelle's cheeks flushed in response to the compliment, her heart skipping a beat in her chest at the sound of Ashe's sincere tone. She suddenly felt much less anxious, much safer now that she was in Ashe's arms again, for real this time.
"You're pretty handsome yourself." Noelle smiled, watching as their expression softened.
The innocent smile on Noelle's face, coupled with the sweet compliment and the word 'handsome,' had Ashe's chest feeling a bit hot. They leaned in a bit closer, groaning softly as they buried their face in the crook of Noelle's neck.
"Don't say things like that." Ashe mumbled, their breath hot against the other's neck.
"Why not? I'm being honest," Noelle replied, her voice soft, perhaps a bit confused. "Why? Do you not like the word? I— I can say something else—"
"No, it's not that," Ashe practically groaned against Noelle's neck. "I really like it. And hearing you say it while you're underneath me like this, when I can smell the scent of your perfume… I'm not gonna be able to handle it if you don't stop."
Noelle's cheeks immediately flushed red. She was a bit oblivious, but not stupid, and she knew the exact implications of Ashe's words. She tried to keep her cool, despite her heart's rapid beating against her chest.
"Oh," Noelle half-whsipered, her voice hushed. "You mean…"
"Noelle, I'm going to fuck you on this couch if you don't stop talking to me like that." Ashe rasped, their voice husky from the cold that swirled around them.
Just when she thought her cheeks couldn't get any redder, they did. For a moment, Noelle swore her brain stopped working, her mind sent into overdrive by the sound of Ashe proclaiming such a bold statement.
When she finally gained her senses back enough to think rationally, Noelle didn't hesistate.
"Do it." She breathed out, her voice barely audible above the crackling of the fire beside them. "Please."
Something utterly primal ignited inside Ashe at the sound of her sweet, soft voice, begging for something so dirty. They didn't hesitate, gently pushing Noelle's body a bit deeper into the couch, earning a soft gasp from the other.
"Fuck, you're so pretty like this. You're all flushed," Ashe muttered against her skin, placing soft, eager kisses to her neck. "Bet your moans are so pretty."
"A-Ashe!" Noelle scolded gently, her eyes wide with shock and embarrasment. It didn't last long, though, as she quickly melted into the kisses that Ashe was trailing up her neck.
"What are you wearing under this skirt?" Ashe mumbled against her neck. "I'm serious, Noelle. Tell me."
Noelle couldn't believe her ears. She'd fantasized about this a million times, of course, but nothing could've prepared her for this. Her hands trembled as she gently carded her fingers through Ashe's hair.
"J-Just panties. White ones, with a little bow on the front," Noelle mumbled. "Why?"
Ashe bit down on Noelle's neck, soft but enough to elicit a gasp from the other.
"Fuck… Sounds pretty," Ashe mumbled against her neck, their lips trailing down to her collarbone. "If I make you uncomfortable, tell me, okay? Don't want you to feel pressured, baby." They spoke, a bit breathless and eagers, pressing kisses to Noelle's collarbone in between each sentence.
The moment that Ashe called her 'baby,' Noelle's mind broke. There was no longer any rational thought, just deep yearning, passion, and desire. She leaned up, catching Ashe's lips in a deep, heated kiss.
The slightly dominant action surprised Ashe for a moment, their eyes going wide, before slowly falling shut as they melted into the feeling of Noelle's soft lips against theirs.
Ashe leaned back, their lips still pressed against Noelle's, slowly pulling her into their lap. Their own pleasure wasn't on their mind, only hers — and they desperately wanted to make her feel good. Ashe's tongue experimentally nudged Noelle's lips, and she quickly allowed them access, parting her lips in a way that made Ashe's head spin with the submisssion.
Slowly, Ashe's knee came up to rest in between Noelle's thighs. They grabbed her hips, gently guiding her to allow her to comfortably straddle her knee. Noelle gasped softly into the kiss, before pulling away, flushed and panting.
Ashe noticed the flush on her cheeks, the way she seemed to be internally panicking.
"We can stop," Ashe reassured, quickly. "If you don't want this, we don't have to. I just thought—"
"No." Noelle replied, quickly. There was no way in hell she wanted to stop. Not now.
Before Ashe had a chance to respond, Noelle shifted, rolling her hips forward in an experimental motion. Ashe watched in awe as she threw her head back, groaning softly at the feeling of their knee pressed against her. Noelle bit her lip, glancing down to meet Ashe's gaze, before rolling her hips again, this time a bit harder.
"You're dirty," Ashe teased, reaching out to hold Noelle's hips steady. "Feel good?"
"Y-Yeah," Noelle practically panted. "Really good. Do you want me to…?" She mumbled, trailing off.
"No," Ashe reassured quickly. "I don't want anything right now. Just want you in my lap, crying out my name until you come." They grinned, holding Noelle's waist steady.
Hearing those words from Ashe made her whine, feeling their hands guide her hips to move again. She reached out, grabbing onto their shoulders to keep herself steady. Any and all self-control that she had left was suddenly gone.
Noelle's mind went blank as Ashe focused on moving her hips, rolling them forward with practiced ease. The direct stimulation made her whimper out, burying her face in Ashe's neck.
"A-Ashe— I can't—" She trembled, her grip tightening on the other's shoulders.
"Can't what? You already close?" Ashe teased, their voice soft and hushed. "You've barely even rode it."
"It's too much!" Noelle cried out, keeping her face buried in the crook of Ashe's neck. "You have to slow down. I— I can't—" She stuttered, unable to think any fully coherent thoughts with Ashe's hands resting on her hips, gently guiding her to ride their knee.
"I know, baby. I know." Ashe soothed, their voice soft.
The gentle soothing from Ashe, while they simultaneously shifted her hips for her, made Noelle unable to truly think for a moment. Her stomach felt tight, heat spreading through her chest as Ashe continued to maneuver her hips. She began to grow a bit mindless, her brain refusing to form any real thoughts. There was nothing in the world right now that mattered to her, apart from Ashe, who was still gently rocking her down against their knee.
A whimper escaped Noelle, followed by a soft cry of pleasure. She trembled against Ashe, before collapsing onto their chest.
"There you go," Ashe soothed, quick to place their hands on Noelle's back to hold her steady, wanting to keep her from falling or shifting too much while she came down from her high. "Make a mess of those pretty panties of yours already?"
"Y-Yeah," Noelle panted, her body trembling as she buried her face in the crook of Ashe's neck. "S-Sorry."
"Why are you apologizing?" Ashe mused, smirking as they watched Noelle's expression shift, completely exhausted and full of bliss. "This is all perfect to me. There's nobody else I want in my lap, making a mess on my knee."
A soft, tired whine escaped Noelle, while Ashe gently rubbed their hands up and down her sides. They pressed a kiss to her temple, their hands rubbing soft, soothing circles into her thighs.
"You okay?" Ashe asked, their voice softer now. "Sorry if it was too much. I just remember talking about it once…" They trailed off, recalling the memory.
Noelle smiled tiredly.
"Y-Yeah," She replied. "That day the filter broke in the circus, and you asked me what I missed most about sex. I was so embarrassed."
"But you answered me." Ashe teased, their voice soft and warm.
"I did," Noelle replied, a bit sheepishly. "I told you that I'd always wanted to this, and you swore that we would, if we ever got the chance…"
"Kept that promise, didn't I?" Ashe snickered softly, glancing up to meet Noelle's gaze. "You still cold?"
Noelle was quick to shake her head. "N-No," She replied softly, unable to keep herself from smiling. "Warmest I've ever been." She mumbled, leaning down to wrap her arms around Ashe in an attempt to be even closer to them.
A wave of comfortable silence washed over them then, as Ashe's hands gently rubbed up and down Noelle's sides. The chilly air was completely quiet, save for the sounds of their synced breathing and the crackling of the fire beside them.
In that moment, the entirety of their time spent at the circus and the pain that came after it was only a distant memory. For the first time in months, Ashe and Noelle had felt completely at peace, wrapped in one another.