Work Text:
Adrian… wasn’t lost per say. He just didn’t know where he was. Though that was pretty common when you get kidnapped. Did he get kidnapped? He was shoved into a bag and there was a lot of movement and it felt like he was currently in a vehicle of some kind.
He was fairly sure he was still in the same state. It had only been like… ten minutes? Time is pretty hard to measure when you’re stuck in a jar in a bag in a vehicle. And he was really bored. Really really bored.
The whole being in a jar thing was confusing in and of itself. One minute he’s beating up drug dealers and the next the whole world is growing impossibly tall and there’s a really tall person putting a really tall jar over him, stabbing holes in the lid and putting him in a bag.
It was a really wild few minutes.
Though, it was making him think about if this was how Goff felt when they trapped and interrogated him. Oooh, maybe he can ask himself questions to pass the time! Just until Chris found him and saved him. Though it might be more difficult for him now that the world was so much bigger.
If Chris couldn’t do it by himself, Ads would help. They were friends now. They talked about prostitution together, they had to be friends.
Either way, passing the time!
The rules last time were: yes or no and don’t be a fucking moron. They were pretty difficult to follow at the time but when it’s just him it should be fine. Right?
So, first question:
“Vigilante,” his voice was weirdly echoey in the jar. “What is your.. Wait no, yes or no. Is your favourite colour teal?” He waited a moment then tapped once on the glass, grinning. This was really fun.
What next? Hmmmm.
“Is Peacemaker your best friend?” Another singular tap. He was so good at this.
“How many legs does a tarantula have?” He paused, considering how to proceed since he accidentally asked a non- yes or no question. Then there were 8 taps on the glass. God Adrian was so smart.
“How do… Vigilante, can you tell me how tarantulas eat flies?” One tap. Followed immediately by:
“Well first, they build a web that flies fly into and get stuck into them. They then wrap them up the flies in more webs and eat them!”
There was quiet for a moment as Adrian tried to think of another question. Yes or no questions were harder than he had first anticipated.
Just as he opened his mouth to ask himself a question about manta rays, there was a jolt. Suddenly, he was in the air, flying towards the side of the jar. Did he get powers???
He needed to test this, immediately. He concentrated really really hard on the glass of the jar, still flying towards it, and imagined in his head it exploding. He waited a moment, then another. Nothing happened. He did, however, crash into the side of the glass. And then again. And a third time.
What the fuck was happening with the vehicle?
There was a shout, some gunshots and suddenly the bag was jolting again. The jolting lasted a lot longer this time but there was too much movement for him to ask himself questions in an attempt to pass the time.
He kept trying, though, to explode the glass. The constant movement was throwing him off his game, though. It was obviously the movement’s fault he was not exploding the glass.
The jolting and movement lasted for a while longer, again, very difficult to acknowledge the passage of time in a jar in a bag.
Eventually, the movement stopped. There was a thunk as the jar was placed on something solid. Wooden by the sounds of it.
The sound of a zipper and a blinding light had Adrian wincing and covering his face. The visor in the suit is prescription, not light adjusting.
When his eyes finally adjusted, Adrian was aghast. He was assaulted with a jade green suit, a sign on the front that looked like a cum splash.
“You? You little fucking guy? You grew the world and trapped me in a giant jar?” He shouted.
“I’m the little fucking guy? Look at you! You’re tiny. I could flick you across the room and it would probably kill you. What are you doing in a jar?” Fucking Judomaster. Of all people to kidnap him, it would be Judomaster. This is probably Economos’ fault. Somehow.
“How am I supposed to know? You grew the world and kidnapped me!”
“No, I crashed the car of the genius who did this to you and stole you from him.”
“What the fuck.”
Adrian was baffled, what the fuck?
“Now, what the fuck happened?” Judomaster leant closer to the jar so that he could be eye level with Vigilante and shook the jar slightly, knocking Adrian over.
“How the fuck am I supposed to know? I was just kicking drug dealer ass and suddenly the world is fucking huge and I’m in a massive fuck off jar!” Adrian exclaimed, throwing his arms around and banging on the jar to emphasise his point.
“Whatever,” Judomaster sighed, pulling out a bag of cheetos. “I don’t care enough for this.”
Somehow, he grew again, towering high over the jar and picked it up. He wandered around for a bit before placing him on something else wooden, high up in the room.
“Hey! Where are you going?” Adrian shouted, trying to not be so alone for this.
Judomaster, the little fucker, completely ignored him and walked away pulling out his phone and holding it to his ear.
“I have your stupid Vigilante, please come and take him away.” Was all he said before presumably hanging up and walking out of the room.
Then Adrian was alone again. He tried to think of some cool animal facts to quiz himself on but he was just too sad to do it, he was all alone and everything was so large. He was stuck in a jar! How was he going to shrink everything back to normal size?
Adrian resigned himself to a long time stuck in the jar, praying that Judomaster wouldn’t come to try and chop his poor pinky toe off while he was held captive. It’s happened before and Adrian was not looking forward to it happening again.
In the end, Adrian wasn’t sure how long it took for his friends to find him, but they did. It was Chris and Ads, obviously, that found him. They, strangely, were huge too!
Adrian perked up at the sight of them, it had been soo long! He waved happily as they approached the jar. Judomaster was with them, bag of cheetos reliably in hand and pointed towards Adrian, still sat in the jar high off the ground.
Chris rolled his eyes at the sight but walked over anyway, reaching up and roughly grabbed the jar.
Then, Adrian was flying again, he was starting to enjoy the feeling actually. Until the jar stopped and he once again crashed into the side of it.
Ads’ face came into view, a concerned smile on her face.
“Hey Adrian! Hold tight, we’ll get you sorted out.” She then placed her hand over the top of the jar and lowered it, whispering loudly to Peacemaker. “What the fuck are we going to do with him, Chris?”
