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Coffee

Summary:

Tony just really wants some coffee, Steve really doesn't want their unborn child to be flooded with more caffeine then would kill a horse, Tony is a feral cat.

Notes:

Fair warning this is nonsense, i wrote this to calm myself after a panic attack, enjoy my slowly rotting mental state!

Work Text:

Steve had many regrets.... actually that's a lie, he's a dumbass who jumps in heard first with pure passion and stubbornness of a man who didn't think he'd live this long. But still he was starting to regret sleeping with tony. Because of all the people that man has let fuck him senseless of course Steve is the one who managed to knock him up. Tony was hormonal, tired, couldn't see his feet, couldn't have coffee, and he was making it Steve problem.

Steve could feel his blood pressure rising as he quickly intercepted his waddling baby mama as he tried, tried being the key word, to book it to the coffee pot the moment he smelled the aroma of god's greatest creation. “Tony no.”

“Tony, Yes.” Tony whines pathetically. He was struggling weakly in the older man's grasp,

“Tony you've had you're allotted 300mg of caffeine.” Steve said while tony continued to squirm like a rabid alley cat.

“This kid is half me he can handle a little extra bean juice!” Tony whines then bites Steve's forearm, seriously was this man a cat? By the time Steve recovered from his shock of actually being bit, tony had absconded with the entire coffee pot.

“Dammit.” Steve groaned. “Tony no!”

Meanwhile up in the vents Clint and Natasha were passing popcorn back and forth watching the chaos.

“Should we tell him Tony's in the panic room?” Clint asked.

“No that man is about to be a father, he needs humbled.” Nat says filing the video she'd taken away for future black mail purposes.