Chapter Text
After the owner of the forest house had met him and taken him in, the creature continued to progress. Reading, discovering things. Like snow. His fingers tried to catch the flakes that landed on his palms and slowly disappeared on his skin.
He still wanted to know his story, to know who he was. His friend, because yes, she had become his friend, was the only one who urged him to return to the place he saw in his mind. And he ended up following his advice. On a cold day, he walked through this snow-covered place, climbing what remained of the stairs while gathering the leaves and books he found. He could now read more easily, so he sat down on the snow and read what he found about who he was. He was nothing, a monster, a project, several pieces of bodies on top of each other. Organs assembled to create a creature. He read the word monster in every text he could still read.
When he picked up a letter and saw a name and surname, an address, his creator was there. Was she with him too? He couldn't stop thinking about this person he had seen, so different from his creator. Forms so opposite to him. Of indescribable beauty. Her name was too a gift. He lowered the letter while saying Victor Frankenstein.
It took some time to travel to the address. It was the evening, and the place and the castle seemed quiet. But well guarded. He climbed onto a balcony and with all his strength opened it, even though it was locked. This made a noise. He rushed into the room, which looked like a bedroom but was uninhabited. He hid between two pillars, despite their endless height and the darkness.
But no one came to check. He crept quietly across the room. He opened the door discreetly. The corridors were huge, with staircases leading to the ground floor. There were doors everywhere. How would he find her room? He returned to the bedroom to think about what to do.
Elizabeth, in her nightgown, sat in front of her Victorian dressing table, touching the leaf that the creature had given her, which she had hidden in her bedroom drawer since the last time she saw him. She breathed sadly, thinking that he had died in the fire. She blamed herself for not being able to save him, to help him, to take him away from Victor. She should have run away with him because she hated the situation. This arranged marriage, this choice that was not a choice for her but an order.
When she heard a loud noise in the distance, she put the leaf back in the drawer, and took a small candlestick to go and see. Curious by nature, she was not afraid.
Barefoot, she walked down the corridor towards the noise. She approached the bedroom door. The creature saw the handle move and hid again between two pillars. Frightened. Elizabeth entered, holding her candlestick forward to see better. She took a few steps and saw the window wide open, the curtain blowing in the cold wind that was entering the room. She found this strange, she came closer to close it but realised that it had been forced open. The creature then saw that it was the woman, yes, that's what they were called, he had read about them in books with his friend in the cabin. It was her, Elizabeth, her beauty, his ray of sunshine, his light shining in his darkness and his hope in his eternal life.
She then saw bright red eyes, frightening at first glance. She gasped, backing away.
‘Who are you? Show yourself,’ she commanded, holding the candlestick to try to see him.
The creature stepped out of the shadows, taking a few steps forward. He raised his arms and hands as if to say, “It's me.” Elizabeth then saw that it was the Creature. He was there, he was real. She approached him, opened her mouth, now very confident, placing the candlestick on the piece of furniture next to them just before.
His dark eyes watched her every move as she came towards him, getting closer and closer.
‘You... It's you...’ She raised her hands to his face.
The creature remained motionless, lowering his head for her, closing his eyes slightly. The warmth of her fingers felt so good to him. He had found her, at last.
She continued to watch him, feeling so relieved. Her fingers touched his skin face delicately. He gently lowered his head, while she stood on tiptoe to press herself against him. His large hands came around behind her shoulders to hold her close. He didn't understand his own strength and was afraid of suffocating her if he pressed too hard. He could smell new scents and feel new sensations. His heart was beating so fast and he didn't understand why. She breathed into his neck. He was shivering against her from the cold and exhaustion.
‘I'm here. I won't let you down this time,’ she whispered in his ear. The creature touched Elizabeth's long hair behind her back.
Suddenly, she heard a noise and realised it was William looking for her.
‘Hide, I'll be right back,’ she whispered so as not to be heard, guiding him back to his hiding place.
But the creature did not move. He was afraid she would leave and abandon him here.
'Elizabeth...' He called.
He did not want to be without her again. He held her forearms, his eyes filled with fear and worry. She heard saying her name, she panted but not enough time to react about it.
‘I'll be back, you just need to stay calm, okay?’
Thinking that he couldn't speak yet correctly, or even really understand things yet, she tried to explain to him with gestures rather than words. The creature understood everything, much better than before. He wanted to speak, but nothing came out so easily with her. He seemed torn to see her leaving already.
‘I'll be back early tomorrow morning, alright? William will go see Victor, who's in a nursing home, and we'll leave together for my flat far away from here. Don't move, stay here.’
His creator was still alive, he thought. The one who wanted him dead was still there. He backed away, having no choice, trying to keep his fingers as far away from her as possible as she retreated.
Then she picked up the candlestick again and just had time to reach the door when William was in front of it. She closed it behind her. He asked her what she was doing in that room. She explained that she was looking for something but couldn't find it.
‘Elizabeth...’ he called again.
William heard it. 'What was it?', wishing to go in the room to verify.
She stopped him.
'Nothing, just wind noise.' She explained.
She took his arm for him to follow her back in the chambers.
The creature saw the door close and wanted to follow her, but he realised that moving could be as fatal for him as it was for her. He remained in the empty room, curious, touching the materials and objects, most of which were unfamiliar to him. The bed and sheets were so soft. He dozed off on a seat near the window when he saw a carriage pull up outside. He hid but watched carefully. William went inside after saying goodbye to Elizabeth. He stared intently at the scene. He felt the winter sun touching his face.
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She asked the maids to pack her bags and the servants to prepare a carriage for her immediately. They were quite surprised but obeyed her orders.
When Elizabeth came to her senses as soon as her future husband had left, she was dressed to go out. The creature turned around, still dressed in his long, torn midnight blue coat, the wolf furs just before coming to her. She had not been dreaming; he was there. He had not been dreaming; she had come back to him.
They both walked slowly towards each other. Elizabeth saw his condition more clearly, and his long hair that had grown. His gaze was still very fearful and lost. He saw a butterfly. He saw art, such delicate skin. Such a fascinating form. They touched hands and just gazed at each other. They couldn't help themselves, they were fascinated by each other.
‘I thought you were... How did you get here?’
He didn't answer, even though he could, but he was shy, lost. He had lost his words. He was still searching for them. But he managed to say,
‘For Elizabeth...’
She smiled, placing her hands on his chest. ‘Yes, that's right.’
He tried to smile.
‘I learned to speak...’ He finally began to make his voice heard.
Elizabeth was fascinated, listening to him.
‘My friend taught me...’ He continued, looking to the windows.
His friend? So he had been through a lot, and she wanted to know everything, but they had to leave to protect him.
‘You can tell me on the journey, come on.’
She put his hood back on to try to hide his face from the others. She took his hand and they walked out of the room. They took the stairs. The women and servants remained motionless but seemed very wary of this tall figure in torn clothing, crossing the castle.
They went outside, and the creature couldn't help but look around at so many fascinating things that he wanted to explore or touch and understand. And all these women, so there wasn't just her, all of different sizes and faces.
Elizabeth continued to pull him to get him into the carriage. He had to bang his head on the ceiling because he was unusually high for a carriage. She ordered the driver to go. Elizabeth got in too and sat opposite him.
The servant closed the door before backing up, and the man driving the carriage began to move forward.
The creature continued to stare into the carriage. Elizabeth closed the curtains to hide them until they were far away from the passers-by and movement outside.
She knew it was a huge risk, and that William and his brother would not understand, but it was worth it.
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During the journey, the creature removed his hood. She asked him what had happened. How had him come to her? Who was this friend?
The creature tried to explain in his own words, and what he could say. She was so mesmerised by how much progress he had made and so torn by everything he had been through until now.
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After several hours, the carriage was on empty roads surrounded only by fields. He pulled back the curtain to look outside. His dark eyes gazed at the beauty of nature and the sky. The snow sparkled on the trees.
He was starting to get really hungry and touched his stomach, which was rumbling. Elizabeth understood.
‘We have an hour or two left and we'll be there,’ she explained, placing her hand on his. He closed his fingers around hers in return, nodding his head.
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Late afternoon. The carriage stopped in front of her property, which was much smaller and simpler than that of the Frankenstein family. The servant opened the door, and the maids were very surprised to see her there. Now. Her wedding was in some weeks, and she should have been with her future husband. But the orders were not to ask questions on the estate. So they followed the rules.
The man thought he had Elizabeth's hand, but it turned out differently. He stepped back when the creature abruptly and awkwardly climbed out of the carriage. He didn't even need the step because his legs were enormous. He looked at the frightened man, along with the women standing in front of the front door, shocked by this monster. Because yes, it was a thing to everyone except Elizabeth.
He took a few steps before turning around and reaching out his hand as the man had done towards the carriage door. Elizabeth placed her hand in the palm of his and then got out of the carriage, thanking him.
Everyone remained speechless, their mouths open, or saying something quietly among themselves. They did not understand.
Elizabeth stood on the ground, looking at the servants of the estate with fear and suspicion. The creature wanted to flee because he sensed that they might do something to him.
‘Don't mind them, come,’ Elizabeth said, lifting her dress to take the stairs of the estate.
The men and maids recoiled every time the creature passed by them. He took the steps two at a time with his long legs and followed, keeping his head down.
A maid came towards her to help her remove her outer garments.
‘Put my bags in my rooms. I have a guest, so please prepare a bath and a meal.’
One of the maids nodded and did as she was told. The guards remained where they were but continued to feel uncomfortable.
The creature looked up at the breathtaking scenery and drawings, including a sun. He raised his arm as if he wanted to touch it.
‘The sun...’ He commented.
Elizabeth came back to him, smiling a little.
‘Exactly, yes. Come on, we'll refresh you.’
He looked at her again. They took the winding stairs to the upper floor. Refresh? What was that? He wasn't sure. In the hallway, he wasted time stopping to look at the unfamiliar objects around him. He had never seen so many things in a few hours.
She went into one of the bedrooms to try to find some clothes, the largest possible, but she couldn't find much. She thought that a tailor would have to come tomorrow to measure him and make some clothes to fit.
She knew that William and Victor would be furious and would not understand what she had done, but that was all she could think about. It was a huge risk, but she had grown attached to the creature, and he needed her right now. She was still very angry that Victor had dared to try to burn him on the estate. She was left with a bitter taste in her mouth.
The creature entered the bathroom, and the women quickly backed away, still frightened. They needed time. She laid down a towel before disappearing.
He walked weakly towards the bathtub filled with water and tilted his head.
‘Right, this is a bathtub for washing, and you need to take off your clothes and sit in it,’ she explained, gesturing without actually going in.
‘Wash...’ he repeated, trying to understand.
‘Yes. May I?’ she asked, raising her hands towards his long fur coat.
He didn't move. She stood on tiptoe. She pushed his coat and all the layers of his shoulders that fell behind him. He blinked, letting his arms relax to let it slide off. His body was naked, wearing only the bandages around his waist that he had been born with.
She examined him to see if he was injured, but he did not appear to be.
‘You need to remove this too, and sit here.’ She pointed to the bathtub. He listened, looking at what she was pointing to.
She moved forward and turned away so as not to look, giving him some privacy.
His dark eyes watched her intently as she turned away. He touched the bandages on his body and began to remove them, loosening them from his body, then ending up completely naked this time.
Elizabeth remained turned away, and he did not understand why she was doing this. Did she think he was too ugly for her to look at? Did she think it was wrong?
He approached the bathtub and, without really lifting his leg, stepped inside, remaining standing. He quickly sat down, which caused some of the bath water to spill out. He was much too tall, and his knees stuck out of the bath.
She realised he was in and turned around. She saw water everywhere. He started smiling. It was fun. He splashed the water with his hands, his smile growing wider and the joy on his face increasing. She got a little water on her. Now he remembered the water in the basement.
‘Stop, stop, or you won't have anything left to wash yourself with,’ she explained gently.
He obeyed and picked up something soft in his hand.
‘What is it?’ he asked in a soft voice, turning his head towards her.
She knelt down beside him.
‘It's soap, you don't eat it, you put it on your skin and all over your body, like this.’
She took it from his hand to show him and put it on the kind of glove to rub it gently on his arm. He watched attentively, and copied the gesture.
She handed it back to him so he could try and do it himself. So he began to wash himself.
‘I'll do your hair.’
She got up, then took what she needed to lather his long hair. Behind him, and his head, she massaged to wash his long hair.
He continued washing, then closed his eyes when he felt relaxed. It had been so long since he had felt a little rest, a little calm, a little bit of good things. After losing his friend, he had done nothing but travel and endure the cold. And now he was in a bathtub and had found his other half. That's how he saw her. She was the only reference point he had left, and she accepted him. His thoughts were interrupted by Elizabeth's voice.
‘Close your eyes, please.’
He did so, then got water on his head and face when she rinsed his hair. She started laughing because he looked like a crumpled animal for a moment.
He opened his eyes again, pushing the rest of the water from his face, then saw her laughing beside him. He couldn't help but laugh too.
He was starving, but the bath was too pleasant to get out of right away.
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Elizabeth had left the bathroom to fetch some clothes. Only one, in fact, and it wasn't the best one for him, but there was no choice.
She opened the door and saw him standing out of the bath, completely naked, looking at himself in the mirror, still wet. She turned away quickly, even though she had obviously seen him.
‘Oh, Lord...’
She remained turned away, ‘I told you to stay inside the bath.’
He turned around without any embarrassment or problem showing himself. She backed away, keeping one eye open to grab the towels, and came towards him to wrap them around him. It took several towels because he was so big and imposing.
‘Here, take this to dry yourself off, okay?’
She placed the clothes on the chair.
‘Dry yourself off, put this on, and I'll be right back.’
She took his old clothes and fur to throw them away.
He was still holding the towels against himself, still admiring himself in the large mirror.
Then he took the clothes to get dressed. A white shirt, black trousers, suspenders, leather shoes, a classic Victorian suit of the period.
When Elizabeth returned, she kept her eyes closed to make sure that this time she would not see him naked. With her hand over her eyes, she closed the door behind her.
‘Is it alright?’ she asked.
He continued to try to put on the suspenders, which he didn't quite understand how to do at first so let them down.
‘Yes,’ he replied, turning to face her.
She opened her eyes. She saw him wearing clothes. Everything was still too small for him. The trousers, the shirt too. She couldn't help laughing. He looked like a puppet.
He moved his arms. ‘I've torn this a little this...’ He pointed to a small tear in the side of his white shirt.
Helping with the suspenders, she put a large black jacket on him, which was still too small for him but would do for now.
"It doesn't matter. Tomorrow we'll get you some clothes that fit and find you what you need."
He blinked, touching the jacket and collar. He felt good, and clean for the first time in so long. He seemed much less scary than he had at first. Even though she didn't find him threatening, strangers did.
‘Are the shoes okay?’
He moved his feet.
‘Tight,’ he replied.
His hair was still damp and curly, falling over his shoulders. He touched his stomach again, which hurt from being so hungry.
‘Come on, let's go eat.’
She walked with him out of the bathroom. The maids were busy tidying and cleaning up.
He took the stairs with her. The men opened the doors to the rooms they passed through on their way to the large dining room. He stopped at the entrance to the room, once again marvelling at the place, the decors, everything.
She gently placed her hand on his back to get him to come. He walked over to a chair. The man on duty pulled out her chair, and the creature watched this gesture. It was a gesture of gallantry, he understood. The second man did the same for him. The creature then sat down on his chair.
Other people came to set their meals before them. They removed the covers. He was so lost, observing every detail; everything was new to him. Even though he had learned things from the books he had read with his friend before he died. Elizabeth placed her napkin on her lap. He took it in his hand and did the same. She smiled to see him trying, doing the same.
He began to use his fingers to pick up a piece of meat. Elizabeth cleared her throat to stop him from doing that.
She showed him the utensils he should use to eat. He listened and did as she said in silence. Trying his best to behave properly and eat with them, he was hungry and rushed to swallow his meal quickly.
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Room service had prepared the room for him. After dinner, he went in and walked over to the bed. She let him look around.
‘Good night. See you tomorrow,’ she said, standing by the door.
He turned his head and nodded.
She quickly closed the door, leaned her back against it, and closed her eyes. He walked back to the door and placed his hands on it. He caressed the door as if trying to feel her curves through it.
They stood there next to each other, the door separating them.
Then, with courage, she walked away from the room and went into the bedroom. He opened the door and did not see her. He breathed sadly, then closed the door.
Without any clothes on, he got into bed and blew out the candles to darken his room. It was one of the first times he had slept in a bed, in a clean place that wasn't too cold. With soft, comfortable fabrics. He stared at the ceiling above his bed.
He blinked. He was very tired, but he couldn't fall asleep right away. He was still afraid that someone would come and attack him, that someone wanted him dead. The constant danger of the past few weeks had made him suspicious of everything. But he managed to sleep through the night.
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Early morning, the man who was to take the measurements arrived. At first glance, he was very disturbed by the size; he had never seen anything so large. His tape measure seemed almost too short to measure the creature; he had to use a step stool to take the measurements correctly. The creature remained motionless, Elizabeth sitting on the side watching him. He raised his arms to measure his chest, his eyes fixed solely on her.
After some hours, it didn't take too long to find him his first item of clothing. He didn't understand why there were so many things over him, why these insignificant details mattered, but he did it for her. He couldn't get the collar around his neck; it seemed so uncomfortable.
'Turn around, please, so I can see you,' she asked gently.
He did as she asked and stood in front of her with the clothes on, looking just like one of them. His clean hair fell cleanly past his shoulders. She was captivated by his presence, his beauty, his whole being.
She came towards him, her eyes raised to him, her hands at the sides of her dress. Then she raised them to position the fabric correctly in front of his neck with his shirt.
'You look very elegant. It suits you perfectly.'
He felt his cheeks warm up even though he wasn't hot.
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After dinner, they went to the lounge leading to the snow-covered garden. Candles lit the room. She drank her tea. He walked over to take a book from a shelf and opened it.
‘So... it was the man who taught you to read and speak?’ she asked, her eyes on him as he looked through the new book.
He came back and sat down on a chair near the fire.
‘In a way... I learned through a hole in the barn at first... I was hiding at first... then I showed myself to him and stayed with him...’
She listened, lowering her teacup.
‘Then he was attacked by wolves when I went to see the place where I was born... He died in my arms...’
He turned the page, rereading the words in the book.
She breathed sadly.
‘I'm sorry... for him...’ She said softly.
He raised his dark eyes.
‘For everything...’ she finished.
He slowly closed the book after her confession.
‘I know everything... if Victor knows I'm here...’
She cut him off. ‘I'll hide you, if I have to.’
He breathed, turning the book over to look at the back.
‘I didn't know where to go... And I wanted to see you again... I didn't think about the consequences...’ He confessed in turn.
She searched for his face from her seat. Her eyes shone in the light of the fire beside them.
She too believed he was dead, gone forever. She felt alive again after the last twenty-four hours. She knew it was going to be complicated, but she would never let anyone hurt him again.
‘Let's not think about that for now, we have two weeks for you to settle in. Victor is in hospital because he lost his leg and his brother has gone to see him,’ she explained.
He listened. ‘He lost it when he tried to kill me, didn't he?’
He clutched the book tightly. She saw it. She came closer to him and knelt down.
She placed her hands on his jacket cuffs to loosen his grip on the book he was clutching so tightly. His teeth were clenched.
‘It's my fault, I feel so bad. I shouldn't have left. Or left you with him. I shouldn't have-’
His grip loosened after her words calmed him. The tension left his eyes and his face. Did she want to come back to him? Did she want to find him again too?
He placed the book on his lap before touching her forearms. She kept her head down to hide her teary eyes.
‘He created you and now he doesn't accept your existence. You are so fascinating, a creation like a work of art.’ She said, without ever looking up, touching the fabric of her dress on her knees.
He put the book down beside him. He then moved from his seat to kneel before her on the large rug in the room near the fire. He gently took her face in his large hands to lift her head.
‘Forgive me... Forgive me for abandoning you...’ She breathed in his hands, now showing her eyes filled with tears.
He felt water on his fingers from her cheeks. He sought her eyes.
‘Me not angry with Elizabeth...’
She blinked her eyes with affection, causing more tears to fall onto his fingers. She breathed a sigh of relief.
He removed his hand from her cheek, then placed his fingers on the edge of his lips and felt that it was not like plain water, but had a salty taste. She continued to watch him. She found him so touching, and he was what she had been searching for, for so long.
She placed her mouth in the palm of his hand, which was still holding her cheek. He blinked away his own tears.
‘We're together now, and everything will be alright,’ he said calmly.
She nodded, then moved closer to him. They held each other tightly. He felt her hair against his face.
His long fingers reached up and caressed the back of her neck beneath her long hair. She rubbed his back over his jacket. They stayed like that, on the floor near the fire, for a moment before deciding to go to bed.
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The days passed, they spent most of their time together. He learned to use and comprehend the objects around him. He did not go outside the castle, except to the garden, so as not to frighten or panic people. For they were not ready. He finally had clothes that fit him better, so he often went outside despite the snow.
He also spent his time reading new books from the estate with her or listening to her stories about her fascination with nature and the creatures of this life.
He found it rather strange because the blue or green colour of his skin was gradually disappearing and becoming more pinkish. He didn't understand why, but he seemed to give the impression of being more normal, if we could put it that way. His scars didn't go away, and they won't go away, they will be less noticeable but still there.
She sometimes left him to take care of things related to her wedding, which frustrated him a little, to be honest. Without explaining why, he felt like he was going to lose her because of it. And he did not want another man to have her.
He was getting to know her better and better, learning and discovering more and more things. He was feeling more comfortable in his daily life and in his conversations. He was becoming more comfortable with who he was, and she was helping him enormously to have more confidence in what, or rather who, he was.
He had liked a name in one of the books.
‘Adam...’ he said to Elizabeth.
‘Do you want to be called that?’ she asked.
He nodded. She smiled.
‘All right then, Adam.’
He smiled kindly, then went back to reading with her.
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One day, in front of the mirror, she cut his hair a little but still kept it down to his neck. He looked at himself in the mirror, scrutinising himself. Elizabeth found him even more mesmerising than before.
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Another day, she taught him a few dance steps after talking about the balls that were often held.
‘It's always the man who leads the steps, and you have to hold her hand firmly on the side of her back, near her hip, and hold her hand in the other.’
He nodded, letting her put his hands where they needed to be. He was so tall that she almost had to stand on tiptoe to be at his level.
‘I'll show you first.’ She took the first steps. ‘One, two, three, one, two, three.’
They tried to follow, moving back and forth, watching their feet at first. He accidentally stepped on her foot.
‘Ouch.’ She stepped back, without really letting go of their joined hands.
‘I'm sorry,’ he said, looking at her.
‘It's okay. Let's start again.’
Then they repeated the dance steps in that empty, immense room, with the sun's rays streaming through the long windows around the room, despite the cold of winter.
He began to look less at his feet and raised his eyes to look at her. They turned slowly, dancing slowly. He was proud of himself.
‘You see, you can do it.’ Smiling, still practising the steps.
Then he remembered that in a story in a book, the man spun the woman around, so he wanted to try it. He raised his arm to lift hers and spun her around very quickly. She gasped in surprise and almost fell. He caught her behind her back just in time before she hit the floor.
She clutched the front of his suit to hold on, his long arms around her back, their faces close together. They stayed like that for a few seconds, saying nothing, unable to express anything, caught up in the moment. Then the creature, or rather, Adam, came to his senses.
‘Sorry... Are you okay? I just read this... and wanted to try it...’ He explained, feeling a little silly, trying to help her up as well.
She adjusted her dress, feeling embarrassed but appreciating what happened, without understanding why.
‘It's okay, I was just surprised. Shall we continue?’
She placed her hands back on his, then repeated the basic dance steps.
A thought crossed his mind.
‘It's been a week already. Does William... care about you? Does Victor know and will he come back... soon?’ he asked.
She remained silent at first, continuing to dance.
‘I just told William I came back to my estate because I wasn't feeling well.’ She replied.
So she lied to him. And Victor will surely sense something.
‘William will probably come back sooner than expected to find out... And then there's our wedding.’ She continued.
He listened. ‘You've done so much for me. I wouldn't want it to harm you, Elizabeth.’
She breathed.
‘Does marriage mean belonging to someone?’ he asked then, always curious.
‘Indirectly, yes. I will be his officially. That's how it is.’
She will be his. So everything, he assumed. He was going to lose her, he felt a new emotion, jealousy. It was stronger than him; he couldn't help understanding, knowing.
‘Do you love him?’ He asked without hesitation, his dark eyes fixed down on her.
She stopped, offended first. Then, relaxed.
‘Adam... We don't ask that.’ She replied, putting her hands away from him.
‘Why? Just, do you love him, Elizabeth?’
She backed away more. ‘Stop it, please.’
Even though she knew his question was just a question, and deep down she wanted to answer no, she didn't have that choice.
He nodded, lowering his hands as she stopped dancing.
‘I read that love must be mutual, and you don't seem to be.’ He continued.
She scoffed, ‘Not everything in books is true or that simple, Adam.’
She walked away from him. ‘Dance class is over.’
He stood in the middle of the room watching her leave. He was perplexed by her proportionate reaction and at the same time felt that he might have hurt her.
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After a week, he was managing more and more on his own and adapting well to his surroundings. His body was changing more and more. He saw a more uniform face, softer skin.
That moment in the dance hall had put some distance between them, but she could never stay away from him for long. One afternoon, they went to the garden. He loved the snow; it was soft and delicate at the same time. She also took some to make a ball, and he watched attentively. Then, walking in front of a pile of snow, he felt something touch the back of his black coat. He turned around, and she pretended not to understand. He began to smile, then instead of making a ball, he took a handful of snow in his arms and began to run towards her.
She gasped and was forced to go into the snow-covered field, off the path, and fell with him when he managed to catch her. They laughed together, wet and covered in snow. The men on the estate thought it was rather rude, but remained where they were.
They returned home in the evening, soaked but feeling great. Adam walked across the room in his wet white shirt and suspenders. He had no problem showing off his body or displaying it. Elizabeth couldn't help but stare at him. His hair was curling from the water, which made him even more attractive in her eyes. She rushed to leave the room so as not to show her blushing face. And so as not to fall, as her legs were shaking so much. Adam watched her with envy, without necessarily realising it himself, because he didn't understand what he was really feeling. It made him starve, without knowing for what.
They took a bath each on their own side. Adam also spent time in there reading or daydreaming. And then have dinner before going to bed.
He loved spending time with Elizabeth so much. He couldn't really explain how he felt yet. She became his obsession in good way. For her person, for her everything. Feelings he hadn't discovered until now. In books, they called it love. He spent more time reading stories about love to try to put into words what he felt for her. Or try to understand what things meant.
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During a night, he heard a noise but stayed where he was, when he saw Elizabeth in her white nightdress with a small candlestick in her hand. It was the first time she had come to his room at night.
He watched her closely, seeing the curves of her body through the fabric. He swallowed.
‘Sorry... I wanted to know if you were all right,’ she whispered. Then she placed the candlestick on the bedside table.
‘And I can't sleep,’ she finished, before sitting on the edge of the bed.
She lay down on top of the sheet, while he remained underneath. She turned onto her side, on the pillows. He turned onto his side as well. Once again, he couldn't help himself; he found it strange that she would do this. So, he shared,
‘I read that it's forbidden to-’
Elizabeth put her hand over his mouth before he could finish. He meant that women don't sleep with men, especially strangers.
‘What did we say about what's written in books?’
He blinked back, without moving his head back. His eyes slid gently over her mouth without being able to explain it. She felt his warm breath between her fingers. She gently lowered her fingers from his half-open mouth. She had noticed that his skin had become increasingly uniform across his body. She closed her eyes, resting beside him.
He watched her because she hadn't blown out the candles on the candlestick next to her. He raised his hand to brush his fingers along the side of her body, between her ribs. She didn't push him away, her eyes closed.
‘Elizabeth...?’ He whispered, continuing to touch the curves of her body over her nightdress.
‘Hmm?’ She hummed.
His fingers touched the line of her neck, then her jaw. He could feel the beating of her heart.
‘I don't understand something... The more time passes, the more... I feel something in my heart... something I didn't know before... It seems to be attraction...’
She opened her eyes slowly. His were already on her face, shining in the light of the candles behind her head. Elizabeth's fingers touched Adam's wrist, she could feel his pulse too. He brought his face closer to hers, to the pillow where her head was resting.
‘Is this normal?’ he asked, confused, lost.
Her heart was beating faster. She pushed his hair away from his cheek and tucked it behind his ear.
‘Perfectly normal. I think it's called love,’ She whispered.
He frowned, looking down.
‘Love...’ he repeated before looking up at her.
‘It seems painful but good at the same time. What should I do with it?’ he asked, looking worried as if it were something not normal.
She smiled weakly.
‘Let it speak for you,’ she replied, searching his mouth and then his eyes shinning red now.
He continued to touch her jaw, then her shoulder, his fingers brushing the fabric of her nightdress, then inside, his finger twisting a knot.
‘What is it whispering to you?’ she continued, her breathing heavier.
"So many things... Like your name over and over, the fear of losing you... the desire to touch you... to feel my mouth against you..."
His thumb touched her lips, she swallowed, still breathing deeply.
‘Let your heart do it... You should always listen to your heart.’ She breathed, bringing her face close to his.
He placed his lips on her cheek at first because he didn't know where else to put them. She smiled then, surprised, in a way that was so unusual for her. That was what she liked about him: there were no ulterior motives, no malice in him, no bad thoughts towards her. She giggled nervously. He moved back, thought he did something bad. She moved her face close to him again.
"That's okay. Keep going."
He blinked, smiling, and put his mouth on her nose this time. She retained to chuckle again. She only showed a smile on her face. Her eyelids closed gently, he kept them open until his mouth pressed against hers. He felt her saliva enter his mouth, her breath mingling with his own.
His heart was beating so fast that he thought he was dying, even though he knew he was immortal. He closed his eyes and felt a rush of electricity coursing through his veins and nerves. He felt butterflies in his stomach. His large hand cupped her cheek. She placed her hands on his bare chest, feeling the scars.
His fingers wrapped around her red hair behind her neck, he pulled back slightly to break the gesture, the kiss. Overwhelmed by so many feelings, new, unknown, but so strong. Was this the love he had read about? Was this what it felt like to fall and fly at the same time? To have your breath taken away? To have everything around you disappear? To lose your senses? To be capable of anything? To lose control?
He finally felt it within himself too. It was magnificently devastating.
Elizabeth kissed the bottom of his lip, without really being able to explain it. She was so caught up in this dance that she could no longer control herself too. He snuggled up against her despite his nakedness, there was only the sheet separating them and her transparent nightdress. They could not touch their skins against each other. His large hand rubbed her spine, from bottom to top, feeling each spinal disc while their mouths sought each other out again and had this incessant need to rub against each other this time. His long leg rose up in the sheet, trying to wrap it around her, but the sheet between them prevented that.
No, it wasn't right, she thought, and she loved William, didn't she? She broke the kiss, pulled away from him and his eyes were still closed when she had already left the bed.
‘I'm sorry, it's better... if I go back to my room... Good night.’
He opened his eyes, still rolling as if he'd flown away somewhere else. She took the candlestick in her hand, and without being able to look at him, her fingers on her lower lip, she rushed out of the room.
'No, it's me, Elizabeth...'
He sat down quickly, his hand on his heart, which was still beating fast in his chest, himself disturbed by what had just happened. He could have followed her, but he didn't. He wanted to accept her desires, her choices. He was too lost to talk, thinkg, anything. But it was an extremely pleasant feeling.