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Chapter 1
Bunny Queen, aka, Hijinks sat next to Harley on the bench, both hands tied behind her back, smirking.
Batman, her fiance’s adoptive dad, was listening to something someone on his comms was saying while Bunny and Harley (who hadn't even done anything illegal or bad by the way, as per usual) waited to be given some bullshit lecture about some crap. He only did this shit because it was a quiet night. Bunny thinks she’s going to have to plan silliness on a night that one of the rogues were doing something on. She’d never been caught before tonight, and she was half expecting a full Scooby Doo reveal.
Robin stood to the side, swords still on his back, a little smirk on his face. She knew Bats thought it was because they’d finally caught her, but she knew it was because he was the only one that had figured out who she was this whole time. Wonderfully sneaky little shit, she’d started ‘blanket fort movie night’ as a reward for his skill.
Groaning, Harley dropped her head on Bunny’s shoulder theatrically. “Jinksy, I’m getting boooored.”
Bunny smiled down at the top of her head, “Yeah, who knew Batsy was so disorganised.”
Batman briefly paused in his speech, Bunny felt her smirk get sharp. She’d heard from Jay how annoyed Batsy would get when he tried organising the Bats or the League and they would throw all his plans off.
Bunny didn’t mind being caught, she didn't exactly try to get away this time. Not really. She’d been playing with Harley for ages now, and aside from the Bats all blaming Harley for all her games, they were also stressing her wedding planning out with their attempts to find and arrest Hijinks. When she’d pointed out the fact that Hijinks had not even done anything, they told her some lame comment about needing to know. Uncle Bruce had trained them all into dysfunction.
Robin shifting to the side was the only warning she had before Orphan stepped out of the shadows. Bunny smiled, she’d thought Cass wasn't due back in town til next week. She knew Cass knew who she was, too, Cass was too good at reading people. Even with the ‘Dismissal Charm’ that gave anyone who might recognise any of her features or mannerisms a magical sense to dismiss any recognition as something mundane or coincidence. Cass glanced at Bruce and gave Bunny a little wave.
Nightwing and Red Robin showed up on Nightwings motorbike. Dick squared his shoulders while looking at Bunny, making her roll her eyes. Worse, Tim was literally rubbing his hands together excitedly like some creepy little villain.
On the other side, Red Hood and Arsenal showed up on Hood’s bike. Bunny didnt bother hiding the way she was eye fucking Jason. She got to see him naked whenever she wanted, but she really had a thing for the Hood fit. The hip holsters did things for her. And so so so many times she asks him to leave the muzzle mask on. Just the muzzle mask.
“Hey, eyes off! He’s not on the market.” The growl from Steph, who’d landed amongst the Bat gathering, startled and surprised Bunny. Who knew she would defend her man while she was supposedly not on the scene. Bunny’s respect for the not-sister-in-law-to-be raised even higher.
Harley snickered against Bunny’s shoulder, knowing full well what was about to happen. Bunny had mentioned that she had wanted to ask her sooner to be her Maid of Honour - traditional sword and all - but without the whole Hijinks explanation, both Jason’s and her families would be confused about why a socialite sweetheart Bunny Queen would chose Harleen Quinzel - her baby brother, Conner’s, Godmother - who she seemingly barely knows, as her Maid of Honour.
Bunny leaned back crossing one leg over the other, smiling smugly at the blonde Bat. “I’m sure with the right incentive, he wouldn't mind it if I showed him a good time.” She leaned forward, pushing her breasts against the formerly green hand-me-down corset to emphasise her cleavage.
Steph reeled her fist back to pop Bunny in the face, but was stopped by Nightwing, “Not while they're tied up, Spoiler.” Making Steph huff in frustration. Bunny just winked and mimed a mocking air kiss. If they wrote the fanfiction that she's the bad guy, might as well make it canon.
Ignoring how Harley had laughed so hard she’d slid down on the bench and was laying her head in Hijink’s lap, Bunny went back to perving on Red Hood and his delicious thighs.
Arsenal was standing by him, glaring at her like she’d pissed in his cereal. She adored her older brother, her second biggest champion since she was seven when he and Daddy found out that she existed.
Her biggest champion was, and always has been, Jason.
She couldn't help the way she gave moon eyes at the man that had been her first friend at five years old, both of them against the world for two years before her father found out about her and stole her away to the other side of the country. Until, of course, he’d been Daddy Warbucks’d by Uncle Bruce a few years later.
Roy cleared his throat, drawing her attention back to him, a snarl on his face just for her. “Can we get this over and done with, already?”
Hijinks pressed her lips together to keep the laughter down, wondering how he was going to respond to the reveal. “Y’know, if I didn't know any better, I’d think you Bats were my biggest fan.” That earned her a few annoyed looks. Noticing this, Harley decided to jump in.
“Yeah, Jinksy only put a bunch of rubber ducks in some houses, placed a few glitter bombs.” she twisted to get a proper look at her audience, “just glitter, too, nothin’ explosive. And here you guys are makin’ a full assembly! What's next? The Justice League, too?”
The way Batman paused again had Jinks groaning, “are you fucking serious, Batsy?”
“Language,” Nightwing said, waving his hand at Robin.
Crinkling her nose, Jinks responded, “Fuck, shit, piss, cock, titties and darn.” Lyrics from a song he’d introduced her to just last month, wondering if she dropped enough hints he’d clue on before the unmasking.
Instead, Nightwing looked like he’d be clutching his pearls if his hands weren't busy covering Damien’s ears. Hood turned away quickly, a distorted noise through his muzzle that she knew was a snort.
Only seconds later, Superman, Green Arrow, Black Canary and The Flash appeared next to Batman, Bunny couldn't help the smirk that covered her face. “Aww, Harls look! They couldn't afford the whole team.” She pouted down at the other woman, “no Wonder Woman.”
Harley made a theatrical sad moan, “I knew I should have tried harder to convince you to glitter bomb the Batcave.”
Hijinks smirked at her, remembering Jason's promise to plant them this afternoon. After taking in Jinks’ face, Harley’s eyes went wide, “you fuckin didnt.”
Bunny only gave her a shiteating grin in response.
The squeal Harley let out had Hijinks cackling.
“What is the meaning of this?” Batman growled, looming over Harley and Hijinks. Bunny wasn’t intimidated. She had watched this man struggle to explain where babies came from to Jason when they were fourteen. To be fair, Jason had gotten really good at leaning into the innocent persona and holding onto it under pressure. Just like she’d gotten good at being underestimated and playing ditzy. Jay said it was genetics, Bunny said he could fuck himself.
Jinks smiled sweetly, “I’m just sayin’ you’ll have to tell your GrandBatlings about the time the BatGeode used to be called a Cave back in the olden days.”
Hood’s mask made a glitchy noise that she could only guess was a wheeze.
Jinks was still looking at Hood with a smirk when Batsy pulled Catwoman’s old mask off of her face. Bunny had made sure to dispel the ‘Dismissal Charm’ as he did.
The group went unnaturally silent, absorbing her identity. Before anyone else could respond, Red Hood took a step forward pointing dramatically at her, ripping his mask off with the other hand, “What is this!? This whole time? What else have you not told me?” He threw his head back, fell to his knees and pressed his fists to his chest. “I have been an ignoramus! I’ve been hoodwinked! I am but a nincompoop!”
Nightwing gasped and pointed at Jason, but it was Robin’s “you’ve known this whole time!?” groaned in disgust, that had Bunny snickering.
Batman seemed to be unable to say anything staring from the mask in his hands to Bunny’s face. But he wasn't the only speechless one, her Daddy was gaping and pointing. She gave him her winningest smile, the one she gave him when he got her thoughtful gifts over expensive ones.
Uncle Barry seemed to gather his wits the fastest, “hey, Little Queen, you- uh…” he looked at Black Canary for cues, but she was giving Bunny a calculating look.
Huffing, Bunny scrunched her face up at Dinah, “I don't wanna be a Justice person, it's a total sausage fest of a cult and I already have to pretend to be nice to people at Daddy’s galas.”
Superman was the one to respond, “so you became a rogue?”
Bunny grimaced, “if you think taping the worst dad puns I could find all over the Riddlers apartment while he was busy trying to mess with Scarecrow, then sure, Supes… I’m a fuckin’ rogue.” she rolled her eyes.
Red Robin put his hands on his hips and pushed Spoiler, “see I told you it wasn’t me!”
Steph put her hands up placatingly. “Alright, I’m sorry. I wont think a prank that seems like something you would do was done by you.”
Tim scoffed, “You had me going through surveillance thinking I’d blacked it out.”
“To be fair, you black a lot of things out,” Nightwing absently answered.
Bored, Bunny gave Batman a look she knew was giving ‘so done’ lifting her tied hands up, “You can untie me now, Uncle B.” She narrowed her eyes, “unless you’re gonna be a snitch and call the cops.”
Damien stepped forward and cut the fancy zip ties with his sword. When Batman turned and glared at him, his only response was “Snitches get stitches, Father.”
Rubbing her wrists, she eyed the rest of the group. Mostly stunned and a little surprised, but more at who already knew or didn't seem surprised.
Bunny pulled a knife from the top of her boot, cut Harley’s ties, and shot a glance at Jay. She watched as he got up and flopped himself onto Roy, making the funniest wailing noise she’d ever heard. She didn't have time to laugh, though, she wanted to go back to playing.
She reached into her pocket, conjuring a glitter-fied smoke bomb from her pocket, and stood up. Harley joined her, making Batman take a step backward. In one smooth move, as if it were choreographed, Harley wrapped her arms around Bunny’s shoulders, Bunny dropped the glitter-smoke bomb, and swiped her mask back.
Pink glitter and Harley's cackle filled the air, obscuring everyone's vision
Bunny had expected Uncle B’s hands to grab for her through the glitter, but either she’d begun grappling away a fraction of a second faster than he could move, or more likely - he’d not reacted.
Later, Jason would relay to her laughing that Damien had declared that he’d been able to use his detective skills to actually solve it months ago, making Dick look the most betrayed Jay had ever seen him. And Daddy had bluescreened so bad he’d needed to be carried by Supes back to the BatGeode.