Chapter Text
2002
“I’m not that surprised, bucko, I mean you’d only been dating for what, a week?” Gabriel asked, taking a gulp of his beer and yelling to be heard over the music. Castiel’s best friend Gabriel had decided to throw a post-graduation, pre-graduation-party party at his girlfriend’s house while she was out with her friends. She was fine with it of course, although Castiel was pretty sure Gabe didn’t mention that he was planning on inviting the whole fucking college.
“Eleven days.” Castiel sighed, pouring a drink for himself.
“Wait… you didn’t tell him about the scarlet V, did you?” Gabe asked.
Castiel blushed a bit. “That’s none of you’re business.”
”You did, didn’t you? Cassie, you promised me you wouldn’t.”
“I don’t lie to people that I care about.”
“That doesn’t mean you needed to advertise it!” Gabriel scolded. “You don’t want virgin to be your signifier. You need to bed the next lonely depressive slut that walks through that door. Just chuck that V card right out the window. Get it over with. Quick and dirty.” He said, already scanning the room for a guy for Cas to sleep with.
“I’m not going to do that, Gabriel. I know most guys have low standards but… I guess I’m different.” Castiel sighed taking a long sip of his drink.
“Fine. But ya’know what? We’ll find you a guy in Europe when we go on our trip.” He said reassuringly as if Castiel needed comfort. Cas just sighed and let Gabriel sweep them into another topic that was equally mind numbing and uninteresting to him. He was excited for the trip, though. He had been waiting to get out of this town all semester. Well, since middle school if he was being honest. It was going to be a ‘transformative experience’, as he kept saying, and he couldn’t wait.
X X X
“What do you mean I can’t go to Europe?!” Castiel asked angrily, a little louder then he meant to.
His mother sighed. “Look Castiel, we didn’t want to ruin your graduation party but your dad has been… transferred. He’s working in a different department now, which means he’s making less money… considerably less.” Naomi explained calmly, not breaking eye contact with Castiel as her husband ordered another drink.
“Okay… But- but this trip was my graduation present.” Cas argued, biting his lip to stop it from quivering pathetically.
“I know sweetie and I am so sorry but I’m afraid we just can’t afford it.” She said, touching his arm sympathetically.
“But… wait, you can still help me with rent next year, right?” Castiel asked, slightly panicked. All of his plans were starting to crumble before his eyes. No money from his parents equaled no trip to Europe, no help paying for grad school, he may not even be able to move to New York now.
“Castiel you’re not listening to me.” His mother snapped, starting to get visibly annoyed.
“Listen kiddo,” His dad interrupted, raising up his third very full glass of scotch. “Here’s a toast to you. Happy graduation, son.”
“But dad, what am I supposed to do about grad school?” Cas asked, looking frantically between the both of them. “Columbia is holding a spot for me.”
“Well, if you decide that’s still what you want to do then obviously you’re going to have to get a job, Castiel.” His mother said which only furthered Castiel’s panic.
“A summer job…?” Castiel cringed, his face turning pale. He had never worked a day in his life. He had never had to.
“Yes, Castiel. A summer job.”
X X X
"And as if it couldn't get any worse, we're moving back to Pittsburgh!"
“Wow man, that’s rough.” Gabriel sighed they packed up Gabe’s car for the Europe trip.
“It’s a nightmare. Working class people don’t like people like me. I’m a romantic. I read poetry for pleasure.” Castiel groaned, worrying his lip anxiously.
Gabriel laughed. “Don’t worry about it, bucko. When I get back, with my dad’s connections, we can get a great deal on an apartment and uh… I’ll spot you the cash for the first couple of months.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, sure.” Gabriel shrugged, leaning up against his car and lighting a joint. “Fuck, this is good weed. Speaking of which, I want you to take these…” He sighed, pulling a quart sized sandwich bag full of joints out of his jacket pocket and handing them to Castiel. “So that you’ll be with me in spirit this summer.”
Cas’ eyes widened and his mouth dropped open in shock. “No! No way. Put those away.” He said hastily, trying to shove them back towards his friend.
“Take it.” Gabriel argued, shoving away.
“No.”
“Take it.”
“No.”
“Take the weed!”
“Okay!” Cas surrendered, snatching the bag and shoving it under his shirt.
“Good boy. Now, I know things suck right now but look at it this way… In a few short months you’ll be with me in New York City, the greatest fucking city in the world. Just like we always talked about, man. So stop your worrying you nerdy little virgin. Just relax. That’s what the weed is for.”
Cas snorted. His friend always knew how to make him feel better.
X X X
On top of loosing almost all of their money, watching his friends go to Europe without him, and having to face the horrors of trying to find a job, they also had to sell their nice house in the suburbs and move back into their old neighborhood almost two hours away.
Castiel stared at his old home. He had always wondered why his parents never sold the place when they moved. Maybe deep down they knew something like this would eventually happen and they would be forced to move back… Cas didn’t really know. All he knew was that the next day he would have to start job hunting if he ever wanted to make enough money to move away.
X X X
“They hung up on me.” Castiel sighed, slamming the phone down. It had been two weeks and every single person he’d asked for a job from had turned him down. It didn’t seem to help that he was socially awkward and had no prier job experience. “What the hell am I supposed to do? I’m not even qualified for manual labor.” He said, frustrated. “The only place that I know for sure I can get a job is with Crowley.”
His mother wrinkled her nose from where she sat across from him the kitchen table reading a spy novel. “At that stupid amusement park? Are you kidding? You can do better than that.”
“No. I can’t.” Cas argued. “I’ve checked everywhere else, mom. Unless someone gets fired at the burrito place, I’m screwed.” He sighed. “I’m just going to take the job at Kripkeland before they stop hiring, too.”
“I think it’s a good idea, son. Gotta do what you’ve gotta do.” His father said, accidentally knocking over a large glass of water and causing it to spill all over the floor.
“Oh for Christ’s sake, Chuck!” His mother yelled, jumping up to help clean the mess. Cas took that as his cue to leave.
X X X
Castiel rode his bike to Kripkeland the following day for an interview. He was nervous. This was literally the only job available and he wasn’t even sure he was qualified.
The amusement park was exactly how he’d remembered it. Crowded, but not overly so, kids running around without their parents, the huge rides. He had gotten a concussion on the teacup ride when he was six and his parents had tried to get the park to remove it because it was a safety hazard but it was still there, luring kids into his deadly metal mouth. He knocked on the door of what Crowley told him was the offices. Normally he wouldn’t trust Crowley with something as important as directions but he /did/ work here, and the sign /did/ say ‘Manager.’ on it.
A woman in her early forties opened the door. “Yes?” She asked in a friendly southern accent, smiling politely.
“Yes, hello, I’m Castiel Novak. I’m here for the interview.” Cas said, trying to sound confident.
“Oh, hey sweetie.” She smiled, recognizing the name. “I’m Ellen, assistant manager. Come on in and I’ll get the boss.” Ellen ushered Castiel inside, gesturing for him to sit down in a chair against the wall as she made her way to a back room that Castiel guessed was an office. “Bobby!” She hollered, knocking on the door. There was some grumbling and swearing from the other side of the door before it opened, the man standing in the doorway looking very disgruntled.
“What?” He grouched.
Ellen gestured to the boy sitting awkwardly in the next room. “That’s Castiel. He’s here to apply for a games job.”
“Games?” Bobby asked, raising an eyebrow as he looked over her shoulder to Castiel. “Great, that’s great.” He said, walking past her to come shake the boy’s hand.
“Uh, n-no… Actually, Bobby, I was hoping for a rides job if it’s still open.” Cas stuttered.
Bobby grunted, looking Cas up and down. “You look more like a games guy to me.” He said firmly and Castiel knew it was no use trying to argue.
“O-okay…”
“Alright son, here’s the rules: No freebees, no free turns for your friends, no free upgrades, no free food-“
“So, just… nothing is free here.” Cas asked.
Bobby nodded. “Yep, and the most important thing about working in games- No one ever wins a giant ass panda.”
“Yeah, we don’t have that many left.” Ellen added from her seat at the little desk.
“Uh… Okay, got it. So- I’m hired?”
“Yep, just sign this and you can start tomorrow.” Bobby nodded, handing Cas the little employment contract and a t-shirt. “Congrats.”
Castiel looked down at the t-shirt. It was neon green and had GAMES in big bold letters on the front. He had a feeling he was going to hate this place.
X X X
“Okay new guy, let’s get this over with.” Said the unenthusiastic blonde as she shoved an apron at him and gestured for him to follow. Her name was Ruby. She was short and pretty and had this thing about her that Cas liked but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Maybe it was that fact that she simply just did not give a fuck. “Here we are at the first of many shitty games. This one is inexplicably called The Flying Dutchman. What is even more inexplicably is how they chose to spell it.” She sighed, glaring at the sign that read ‘The Flighing Dutchmann’ and Castiel would have laughed if Ruby didn’t look so scary. She went on to explain how the game worked, “One dollar buys five rings, if one of the rings falls on one of the red bottles they win a giant ass panda.” She said, gesturing to the giant stuffed animal on the wall. It was half the size of Castiel and looked very heavy.
“Wow. That is a giant ass panda.” He muttered.
“Yeah, it’s the best prize in the park but that’s because this game is unwinnable. See?” She said, dropping a ring directly over one of the red bottles. The ring fell off immediately, the bottle just slightly too big for it to fit.
“So… No one ever wins?” Cas frowned.
“Yep. Basically, if someone wins a giant ass panda on your watch you’d better just go home because you’re fired, ok?”
Ruby lead his through a few more games before arriving at what she said was her booth this week. “Every couple of week we get to change it up, switch to different booths. Not that it makes it any more fun.” The booth had a wall with several mannequins in front of it that slid back and forth on a mechanical line like moving targets. She explained that the object of the game was to chuck balls at the mannequin’s heads and try and knock their hats off. If you knock two out of the three mannequin’s hats off then you win a giant ass panda. “But, like the other games that is impossible because two of the hats are glued on.” She said, pulling at one of the hats. “See? Stuck fast.”
“Hmm… I see.” Castiel nodded, following her to another game booth.
“You get five minute bathroom breaks every two hours. I recommend saving a few of those up in case you get hungry or want to go number 2.” Ruby said, her face extremely serious.
Suddenly out of nowhere Crowley came walking past, laughing hysterically when he saw the game shirts. “They put you on games? Oh, that’s rotten luck! You’re so fucked, Cassie. So fucked. Right in your tight gay asshole.” He chuckled, flipping off Ruby before skipping off again. Cas glared after him. It’s not like he had much choice. It was games or nothing.
Ruby turned to look at him, a sharp eyebrow raised questioning. Castiel cringed. Oh no, here it comes, the What did he call you?’s and the You’re a fag?’s
“You know that prick?” She asked, disgust was evident in her voice, but it wasn’t directed at him.
“Um, yes… He used to be my best friend.” Cas said, still somewhat shocked.
“Oh yeah, then what happened?”
“Then I turned four.”
“Ah.” She said, her lips quirking up slightly to form an almost-smile. “C’mon, let’s get you a booth.” They continued walking, Ruby seeming to have warmed up to him a little. “So, you’re life must be utter shit, or else you wouldn’t be here.”
Cas cleared his throat. “Uh, yes, I was planning on going to Europe for the summer but my family has been having finical issues.”
“At least your parents aren’t making you pay rent.” Ruby said flatly. “My dad even makes me pay utilities.”
X X X
Ruby lead him to an unmanned booth, a game in which people could race little wooden horses across a race with controls, whoever won the race, won a prize. There really wasn’t much that Cas had to do, thankfully, just announce the race and then give out the prize. But it was so dreadfully boring that Castiel was already considering suicide only two hours in to his new job.
“Alright… we have a winner. It’s the purple horse. Congratulations. Green is in second, yellow’s third. Here’s your prize.” Cas droned unenthusiastically into his microphone. Someone was laughing. Castiel looked up to see the man at the booth across from him laughing at him. He was gorgeous; Cas thought, tall, tan skin and dirty blonde (almost brown) hair, grinning at him with those immaculately white teeth.
“Hey, son.” Came a gruff voice from behind Castiel, making him jump violently. It was Bobby and he was frowning pointedly at the younger man.
“Hello, yes.” Cas said, blushing slightly.
“D’ya think you can take it up a notch?” Bobby asked, his eyebrows raised in a weirdly intimidating way.
“Yes, it’s just that… I really don’t think I’m the right person to run this game, sir. I think, actually I believe that I should be on rides because-“
“No.” Bobby said gruffly. “We don’t need you on rides, we need you on games.”
“I… Okay.” Castiel sighed, defeated.
“You ever seen a horse race before? Heard one on the radio?”
“Uh, harness racing or the normal racing?”
“It don’t matter which. You ever seen the Kentucky Derby? The announcer on the radio is real excited and talks real fast. Like at an auction.”
“Yes, I think I understand what you’re saying.”
“A’ight.” Bobby nodded, slapping a hand on the counter of his booth. “Just get into it, son. Make it a performance, that’s what people come for.”
“Okay, thank you Bobby.” Cas said, forcing a polite smile. Bobby nodded once more and walked off, probably to inspect someone else. A new group of people came up to his booth, sitting down in front of the controls for the horse race. Castiel prepared himself mentally, trying to remember some of what he had heard from when his mom used to listen to the Kentucky Derby on the radio. “Everybody ready? Okay, and they’re off!” He said, slamming the button that started the game. “And red horse is in the lead, but look out here comes green issuing him a challenge in the outside lane. Purple horse using the conditions to give him a slight edge, and leading the pack. Yellow bringing up the rear. Wait, look out, out of nowhere orange breaks to the head of the pack! It’s orange and green head to head! Orange and green, orange and green, OH! Orange wins!” Castiel shouted, making a dramatic finish and tossing the prize at the winner. “Congratulations, sir.”
Everyone left, walking off to play more games and Castiel got another clear view of the guy at the booth across from him. He was leaning over the counter of his booth, grinning at Castiel. Cas waved hesitantly, causing the man to grin even wider and wink before looking away to talk to Bobby who had just walked over.
Maybe this job wouldn’t suck so bad after all.
X X X
Castiel had never been more wrong.
“Yo! Guy!”
Castiel sighed. He was used to this by now but it still annoyed him. He had officially been working at Kripkeland for six days and it was like hell on earth. He had been moved to the bottles and rings booth on day three and had only seen the tall handsome guy twice since then on the way to the bathroom. Ruby told him his name is Dean but that was all she said. She seemed hesitant about introducing them. 'People have a nasty habit of falling in love with Dean, but...' She'd said, before she had been interrupted by Garth, another games operator, who was freaking out because a little kid puked all over his counter.
“Yes sir, how many rings would you like?” He asked the man who was holding the hand of a small boy around the age of seven.
“Gimme five.” The man said with an unusually happy smile.
“Alright.”
“Hey, I heard some big fat lady fell off the Pergatory.” He said conversationally.
Castiel raised an eyebrow, counting out five rings and handing them to the man. He was pretty sure this guy was bullshitting him. “Really? I haven’t heard about that, is she okay?”
“I dunno.” The guy shrugged, leaning over the counter to talk to him. “Hey, can I actually have ten rings?”
“Alright.” Cas mumbled, turning away to count out the rings.
“Ya’know what? Make it fifteen.” The guy was starting to make Cas nervous. “Anyways, so I heard she was this big fat slob of a woman. Like she shouldn’t have even gotten on the ride, ya’know?”
Out of the corner of his eye Cas saw the man lifting his kid up over the counter and placing a ring on one of the red bottles. Castiel turned around and frowned at him.
“Look at that! He won!” Said the man, grinning smugly.
“Okay sir, uh, you can’t do that. I saw you holding him over the bottles. That’s cheating.”
The man’s smile faded. “No, he won fair and square so you’ve got to give him a prize.”
“Look, you don’t understand. I could loose my job.” Cas pleaded, but the man just kept getting angrier.
“I can’t believe this.” He growled, turning to a group of people passing by and pointing at Castiel angrily. “This faggot is trying to rip off a kid!”
Cas winced. “Sir, please-“
The man pulled a knife out of his pocket and leaned over the counter threateningly. “Why don’t you give my kid a fucking panda?”
“Alright, there’s no need for that.” Came a voice and Cas turned to see the handsome games guy, Dean, walking over with his hands raised. He snatched up one of the giant pandas and handed it over to the man. “Here you go, there’s your panda.”
“Thanks.” The man grumbled, taking it and handing it to his son. Dean watched them closely until they were out of sight and then turned to Castiel who was staring at him.
“W- Am I going to get in trouble? No one’s ever supposed to win a giant ass panda.”
“So? Is it worth getting knifed over?” Dean asked, raising his eyebrow.
Cas shook his head, blushing. “No, I suppose not. Thank you for…”
“No problem, man.”
“I’m Castiel, by the way. Castiel Novak.” He said, holding out a hand.
Dean shook it, looking surprised. “Uh, hey. I’m Dean. Nice to meet you.” Cas smiled, up close he could see that Dean had freckles scattered across his tanned face and his eyes were bright green.
“It’s too bad you’re going to look your job on your first week, Cas.” Dean sighed. Castiel looked at him, alarmed, causing Dean to toss his head back in a laugh. “I’m kidding man, I’ll tell Bobby what happened.”
Cas ducked his head, blushing again. “Thanks.”
“Seriously man, it’s not a problem.” Dean smiled, patting him on the back. “C’mon, you deserve a lunch break.”
X X X
Dean was amazing. He was handsome and funny and had this deep laugh that made Castiel die a little inside. In a nutshell, he was perfect… And way out of Castiel’s league. Ruby warned him over and over that this would happen. And even now, she was shooting Cas dirty looks as he mooned over the taller man.
But god damn, Dean was so hot when he smoked… Cas thought, sighing as he watched Dean practically inhale his cigarette in one breath. It was the end of the week and all out his co-workers -Dean, Ruby, Ash, Anna and Garth- were all standing in the parking lot of the amusement park, laughing and passing around a bottle of whiskey that Ruby had swiped from Bobby’s office when he wasn’t looking. Everyone was excited about the weekend of freedom ahead.
“I think someone tried to write ‘Satan lives’ on the wall over there but they spelled it ‘Satin lives’.” Cas pointed out to Dean, giggling. He was a bit tipsy.
“Mm, one of those textile worshipping cults no doubt.” Dean said, smiling around his cigarette. Castiel laughed.
Crowley approached them, his hands in his pockets. “Hello boys and girls.” He said in that gravelly accent that Cas had never known exactly where it came from. Neither of his parents are British from what Castiel remembered. “Hello, gayboy.” He addressed to Cas, who blushed and desperately hoped Dean was not homophobic. “Love the T-shirt, Dean…” He gestured to Dean’s AC/DC t-shirt. “Nick played with them once, from what I heard...”
“Who?”
“AC/DC.”
“No, I mean who is Nick?” Castiel corrected himself.
“You don’t know The Legend?” Crowley asked in awe. Beside him, Anna’s mouth dropped open.
“No, I don’t ‘The Legend’.” Cas said, making little air quotes with as he spoke.
“He- He doesn’t know- Time out guys. He doesn’t know The Legend?!” Ash piped up, staring at Cas like he was out of his mind. Castiel blushed and shook his head, starting to feel like he was missing something very important. “Nick Munroe. He totally jammed with Brian Johnson back in the day.”
“W-wow. Wow. Nick Munroe… does he work here?” Cas asked, feeling stupid. He looked to Dean for help but Dean just looked uncomfortable.
“Yea... uh- he’s a maintenance guy.” Dean explained softly, since no one else offered to explain.
“So, he’s a real musician?” Castiel asked.
“Yeah! He’s got his own band and… And he’s the greatest.” Anna piped up, grinning from ear to ear as she cradled the whiskey bottle against her chest.
“Indeed. And I imagine he gets a good amount of pussy as a result.” Crowley smirked, causing everyone to groan in disgust.
“Fucking perv.” Ruby grumbles, scooting close to Anna and trying to coax the bottle out of her grip.
Suddenly a yellow mustang came out of nowhere and a king sized slushie was thrown out the window at their feet, splashing all over everyone’s shoes. “Eww, gross!” Anna shrieked, almost dropping the whiskey bottle as he hopped around trying to shake the disgusting sticky drink off her white tennis shoes.
“Ah, that would be us, Asstiel.” Crowley said, gesturing for Cas to follow him to the car that was now parked several yards away.
“Asstiel. Guess that’s me.” Castiel grumbled quietly, waving apologetically to everybody before turning to follow his frienemy.
“Wait! Cas!” Castiel turned, his eyes widening when he saw Dean jogging after him. “You can ride with me if you want.”
“Really?” Cas stammered, his mouth hanging open. “Crowley I got a ride! Really?”
“Yeah, ‘course.” Dean chuckled.
“Thank you so much.” Castiel exhaled a sigh of relief, turning to Crowley. “I have a ride, Crowly. You can go. Goodnight.”
“Oh, you have a ride?” Crowley asks, his voice deceptively innocent as he walked back over to where Cas and Dean stood.
“Yes.”
“Oh, okay, well in that case…” Crowley punched Cas in the nuts for the third time that week. It was a horrible quirk that Crowley had acquired when they were kids that he apparently never grew out of. Much like the gay jokes.
Cas bucked and fell to his knees, groaning in pain and holding his groin. “What the hell?!” Dean shouted but Crowley had already taken off across the parking lot and was jumping into the yellow mustang. Dean helped Castiel to his feet and held him upright while he regained a tiny bit of his dignity. “What the hell was that about?” He muttered.
“Oh, just my life.” Cas croaked.
X X X
Dean popped in a cassette tape and loud rock music filled the interior of the beautiful 1967 Chevy Impala that they were currently seated in. Dean loved the car and really came alive when Cas had asked about it, happily telling him the make and model and explaining how in hand been passed down to him from his father who was a classic car dealer. Their conversation eventually died out, however, and now they just sat and bobbed their heads to the music, perfectly content in that moment.
When they rolled to a stop outside Castiel’s house, they felt no urge to part just yet so they sat and talked for a while before Naomi opened a window at the top floor and craned her head out to see what was going on.
“Shit, who’s that?”
“Oh, god… It’s just my mother. She’s very nosy.” Castiel sighed, rolling the car window down and waving forlornly at his mother. “She used to read my journals when I was a kid. I had to start writing them in Italian.”
“Wow.” Dean said, chuckling at how ridiculous that was. “So, uh, Ruby says that you’re gonna go to Columbia grad school.”
“…Yes.”
“Wow.” Dean repeated. He cleared his throat. “…I’m at NYU right now.”
“Oh, that’s really cool. Maybe we will run into each other one day on thee streets of New York City.” Cas said, almost hopefully.
“What’re you studying?”
“Journalism.” Cas answers automatically. “I want to be a travel essayist. But I also want to report on the real state of the world… Like, Charles Dickens, for example, wrote what you might call ‘travel books’ but instead of jungle expeditions he visited prisons and mental asylums.”
Dean blinked, trying to absorb everything Cas had just said. “That’s awesome, Cas.”
“Really? Is it?”
“Yeah!”
“Okay, good.” Cas breathed, a little relieved that he hadn’t freaked Dean out with his rant.
“So, why do you have to go to grad school for that?”
“That’s… actually a valid question. You see, journalism is old boys network. Still, you need the right connections and it’s very prestigious and Ivy League… exclusive and… stupid.” Cas sighed, kind of amazed that Dean still seemed interested in what he had to say. He probably sounded like a total douchebag. “My mom would probably rather me intern at some fortune 500 company…”
“Fuck that.” Dean said passionately.
“Yes! Yeah, exactly what I said.” Cas said, smiling widely as their eyes met. They stared at each other for just a beat too long before Dean cleared his throat and said,
“I, uh- Gotta get goin but thanks for hangin out for a bit.”
“Of course, Dean. Have a nice night.” Cas replied, waving as he got out of the car. As the Impala drove off Cas sighed, his chest aching dully.
Great, he was already pinning for the guy... Maybe Ruby was right about not getting too close to Dean.