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To the untrained eye, what had just occurred would, without a doubt, implicate Erin Gilbert as an incredibly closed minded person. Abby Yates however, was about as far from an untrained eye as they came, especially when it concerned her best friend. Despite only being reunited recently, the two friends' spark had reignited as though nothing had ever come between them, and Abby was more than proud of that. But at this exact moment, she was cautiously reconsidering her decision to bring Gilbert back into her science life.
30 minutes prior, everything at headquarters had been as normal as it can get at a paranormal investigators office. Patty was reading an article she found to be particularly riveting, and aside from the normal lab din, the only sound was the occasional shout of a fact Patty found relevant to their research. Abby had never minded the intense quiet that sometimes occurred in her lab, because it meant that both she and Holtzmann were hard at work, and something great would come of it.
After a few minute of listening to Patty shout intermittently, a small buzz was heard from Holtzmann's phone, followed by a harshly whispered "Ah, shit." Abby glanced up from her design sketches with an eyebrow arched.
"Everything alright, Holtz?" she said, her curiosity piqued. Holtzmann was rarely phased by anything that wasn't caused by a specter, so Abby was almost certain it would be something of a paranormal background.
"Huh?" Holtzmann said, snapping out of her intensely pensive reverie.
"You sounded upset? Specter stuff?"
"No, no no. Just- ah, it's nothing." the scientist said, waving the thought away with the large tool she held in her small gloved hands.
Abby looked over to where Erin was sitting, seemingly uninterested in what was happening, still engrossed in an old text she had dug up.
"Come on, Holtzy. You know you can trust us. Spill those beans." Patty commanded, as she grabbed her can of Pringles and brought it over to Holtzmann's bench.
"Eh, do you remember Claire?" Holtzmann asked, looking back down and continuing her work.
"Oh, was she the crazy one you met on that soup run?" Abby supplied, trying to put a face to the name. She had a vague recollection of the girl, an exuberant poet with dark red hair who, despite Holtzmann's attempts to dissuade her, felt as though she and the blonde had really hit it off. They'd only gone out twice, once to off-off-Broadway retelling of Pulp Fiction done entirely in the dark, and once to a Claire's favorite Japanese restaurant, where halfway through Holtzmann had accidentally lit the open grill they sat around on fire.
"She's not crazy, she's just- determined." Holtzmann rolled her eyes as she gave a shrug. People called Holtzmann crazy all the time, Claire was a different breed entirely. "She just texted again," Holtzmann continued. "She saw us on the news, and she wants to go out again sometime. I thought I'd been clear that science... Science is my real lover." Her eyes flew melodramatically to the ghost-filled containment unit that sat on their work bench, as she added a loud longing filled sigh for show.
Patty let out a loud laugh. "Is this gonna be a repeat of Erin's trap kissin'?" She said breathlessly between guffaws.
If Erin hadn't been listening before, she was now. She waved her hand in Patty's direction, "Hey! I'll have you know that I stopped kissing the trap once Abby told me I'd become a walking Chernobyl."
"Oh gosh..." Abby sighed, shaking her head and rolling her eyes. "Well, what are you gonna do about it?"
"She's not my type," Holtzmann replied matter-of-factly, immersed once again in the circuitry she was tinkering with.
"You're going to at least explain that to her right? Let her down easy?"
Erin's eyes narrowed ever so slightly as she caught up with the conversation she'd missed while engrossed in her work. Her mind was suddenly racing, going miles an hour, and she couldn't stop herself from blurting out a rough, "Wait, do you date girls?"
The other women looked up at Erin, each with a different reaction. Patty's face read easily 'Girl, you are LATE to the party,' while Abby's had an apprehensive confusion as if to say, 'Your point is...?' But Holtzmann? Hard as she tried, Erin couldn't tell what the look on Holtzmann's face meant.
"Claire wasn't so much Holtzmann's girlfriend, as she was a crazed stalker." Abby said.
Erin felt her stomach tie itself into knots at the thought of Holtzmann and this other girl, and try as she might couldn't help the almost nauseous look that wormed it's way onto her face.
"Gilbert, don't tell me you gotta problem with gay people." Patty huffed in an accusatory manner.
Erin's face went red and she jumped quickly on the defense. "No, I- I don't have a problem with gay people at all." She tried, feebly attempting to jump out of the hole Patty had unceremoniously tossed her into.
"You sure?" Patty continued, eyebrows raised.
"Yeah, Erin... The look on your face was kind of mean. You're not homophobic are you? Because if you are..." Abby's voice trailed off, the implications of her disappointment dripping from the practically audible ellipses.
Erin's blush worsened. She didn't have a problem with Holtzmann being gay! Really. She didn't. But... then why did her stomach knot and her heart lurch at the idea of Holtzmann with a woman? Even Erin had to admit that her obvious upset at the idea could be read as homophobic. Try as she might, Erin couldn't explain the feeling she had.
"No, I promise, Holtzmann can date whomever she pleases, no judgment on my part."
Patty was naturally tall, but now more than ever, she loomed over the confused and bewildered Erin.
"A'ight, but I better not hear you tryin' to set our girl up with Kevin tomorrow."
"What? Oh God, no! Why... why would you say that?" Erin sputtered, trying her hardest to look unaffected. Efforts in vain, Erin's face became pinched as she pictured Holtzmann winking flirtatiously at Kevin. Her heart dropped the same nausea-inducing way it had when Abby had mentioned Holtzmann's ex-girlfriend. She almost couldn't get the words out.
"Guysguysguys," Holtzmann interjects, the phrase coming out as one long and rushed word."I'm on the cusp of a practically orgasmic breakthrough, and trust me, once this pistol is stabilized and ready to go, it'll be a lot more exciting than detailing my admittedly awe inducing conquests to Erin. Who, might I say, very obviously does not want anything to do with it." Holtzmann finished in a tight voice, the words unstable and chopped, as though she had to force them out of her body one at a time to form the sentence.
Erin's heart may have been in knots before, but at the dismissive look of hurt that flashed almost imperceptibly across Holtzmann's face, she was sure everyone in the room could hear it being ripped in half. She had gone from feeling a strong distaste for what she was hearing, to being filled with dread. Oh God, what had she done?
Abby was quick to divert the conversation onto a new topic, namely the article Patty had been reading just a few minutes prior. The atmosphere in the lab stayed tense, and Erin's blush wouldn't reside. She felt like she had been punched in the stomach. What had started out as an innocent conversation between friends had ended up with her as the bad guy, and she... She wasn't quite sure what had happened, or how she had ended up with her foot in her mouth so quickly. But it's not like that hadn't happened before, if she's honest with herself, Erin knows she's had to dig herself out of an embarrassing situation on more than one occasion. The problem wasn't the fact that she'd messed up, but instead that she couldn't place the terrible feeling that had manifested in her when she had talked about Holtzmann's ex.
In a last ditch attempt to ease the redness that had taken over her complexion, Erin stood and walked briskly to the restroom shutting the door behind her, and sliding down it to the ground. Erin's head fell onto her knees, and she let herself take a few breaths. This feeling, whatever it was, was nasty. The thought of Holtzmann, with a woman? Holding her hand? Winking at her across the lab table? Kissing her in between specter containment units? Erin's breath caught and she knew that thinking about it would only make it worse.
And this is how Abby found herself now. Outside the restroom door, pushing her head through the crack and glancing down at Erin's huddled form. "Erin, do you want to talk maybe? I know you're not apparently not very comfortable around gays, but-"
At this, Erin rose abruptly, "No, you don't understand, I love gays. I mean- I- What I'm saying is that, that's not the problem. Really. It isn't!" Erin started pacing around the small restroom, her long limbs stretching themselves out as she waved them every which way continuing to ramble on. Something about "cousin's pride party" and "maybe she should've joined PFLAG" but Abby wasn't really listening. She was too busy trying her best to figure out what was causing this strange frantic behavior in her best friend.
"Okay, so if gays aren't the problem, what is?" Abby says bluntly. She's eager to get out of the bathroom before-
"Hey! Whatchall doin in the bathroom?" Patty pounds through the door. Abby groans internally, but turns around and opens the door to see her tall new friend leaning against the frame, long nails tapping against the chipping red paint.
"Erin, here, is having a slight breakdown, and I was trying to avoid making a scene- why did you just leave Holtz out there alone?" Abby says, her hand throwing itself in Holtzmann's bench's direction,
"Nah, Holtzy left, she bolted a little after y'all did... Muttered something about AP-xH shift conduction? She was gone 'fore I could stop her though. But what's going on in here, Erin?"
Erin, reeling from the thought that she could have just alienated her new colleague/partner/friend, all in the span of 15 minutes, looked up at Patty moments later. Frustration evident in her eyes, Erin lets out a small 'hmph' and waves her arms incredulously.
"Nothing! Nothing is going on. I don't even know why you all followed me into the bathroom, that's, that's just weird and not okay."
"Nah, what's weird and not okay is that you been actin' strange ever since Abby told you bout Holtzy's girl and-" Patty paused, angry as she watched Erin's face twist up again. "Really, Erin? What is your problem?"
"I just- I can't stomach the thought of it! Holtzmann kissing her by the workbench, and feeding her Pringles while they watch documentaries on black holes, and sharing Chinese food late at night and..." Erin trailed off, running her hands through her hair.
Patty let out a small gasp as a sly smile weaved its way onto her face, and mischief glimmered in her eyes. "Erin, you got it bad girl!" she said clapping her hands in the air above her head.
"No, I know! I've never been homophobic before in my life, and now I'm all over the place, and Holtzmann's gonna hate me, and I can never look her in the eyes again and oh God, what if she feels like she can never bring anyone over and I was the one who ruined that?"
Patty turned to Abby confused, but Abby had already directed a similar look towards the taller woman. "Whaddya mean?" Abby said, pushing her glasses back and turning back to watch Erin (continuing to pace) with a small frown.
"Pardon my French," Patty said laughing, "But Erin wants to bone Holtzy."
If Erin had been drinking, she would've done a spit take.
Abby's eyes lit up, "Oh my God!" laughter punctuated her words, "This was so obvious. How did I not see it?"
"What? What, see what? I don't wanna bone Holtzmann, we just figured out I'm a gay-hating homophobe!"
Abby and Patty laughed, but Erin could only grow increasingly frantic in her pacing and arm-waving.
"Baby girl, you ain't mad that she's doin' those things with a lady, you're mad 'cause she ain't doin' them with you!" Erin's eyes grew wide, and her feet froze to the floor.
"I... I- no, I'm not... I'm not... I..." Erin's voice faded away, and Abby and Patty let out small laughs as Erin gave them an almost grave look. "Oh my God. I like Holtzmann."
0-0-0-0
In the alleyway not far below the bathroom Erin had run off to, Holtzmann sat on a large wooden crate (one of the few that had survived device testing) and busied herself with deconstructing and then reassembling her proton shotgun prototype. She wasn't normally one to be overcome with emotions, and as such, she had very few coping tactics when it came to experiencing emotions. The most common of the ones she did employ, was the therapeutic process of building her devices over and over again. Holtzmann put the finishing touch on the prototype for the third time before holstering it and jumping down from the crate with a small 'thud.'
Holtzmann's large boots scraped against the pavement as she walked towards where she had parked the Ecto-1 with her eyes trained on the ground. It was hard for her to believe she was having this strong of a reaction to what had happened. She didn't realize she'd had it this bad. As soon as she had set her sights on Erin, no matter what kind of vibes she had been getting, Holtz had known it wouldn't matter. Straight-laced Erin Gilbert would still be just that, emphasis on the straight apparently.
Looking up, Holtzmann's eyes widen quickly before she regained her composure. There, at the end of the alleyway, not 20 feet away, stood a demure Erin Gilbert, clad in her sky blue boots and a gray sweatshirt. Holtzmann thought she was stunning, and her heart started to hurt again.
"Hey Holtzmann." Erin started, not once breaking eye contact with the younger woman, "I just- I need to tell you how sorry I am for what happened in there."
Holtzmann couldn't think of anything to say. Anything serious was too serious, anything fun was more than dangerous, as her heart was at stake. In the end, she decided not to answer, simply looking up towards Erin with a wry grin that didn't reach her eyes.
"I really am so so sorry." Erin's face had a sad look on it. Patty and Abby had been so gung-ho about their idea- "You just gotta tell her, man!" that she hadn't spent too much time considering the idea that Holtzmann might not even forgive her, let alone return her affections.
"I really don't have a problem with you, you know, dating women. I just..." Erin couldn't help but move closer to the blonde as she said the words, but Holtzmann still hadn't looked up at her. Erin was normally a strong believer in personal space and 'bubbles' but before she knew it, she was closer to Holtzmann than she has ever been. Her heart was pounding wildly, the proximity alone giving her goosebumps and making her breathing grow shallow. In a small voice, Erin pressed on, "I just have a problem with you dating women who aren't me."
Holtzmann's head flew up, her hair hitting Erin in the face as it did, and her eyes widened comically beneath her goggles.
At this, Erin began to lose her confidence. She'd gone into this riding the high of reassurance she'd gotten from Patty and Abby, but they weren't here now, and so much was at stake. Their faces were just inches away, Erin's apprehensive and scared eyes meeting Holtzmann's studious gaze. Before she could stop herself, Erin's word-vomit started falling, as she tried to recover from what she's said. "You know what? I'm- I totally forgot, I left a blowtorch on upstairs and I've got to-"
Before Erin could take another step away, Holtzmann's face slid into a wolf like grin, and she placed her left hand on the back Erin's neck. "If I'm being honest," Holtzmann started, lifting her goggles off of her mischievous eyes with her free hand, "I have the same reservations. Why date anyone else, when I could have you?"
Quickly then, Holtzmann's tongue licked her lips (and 'oh god,' Erin thought, 'how did I not notice these feelings?' because that tongue, oh God that tongue was distracting.) and Holtzmann quickly leaned forward, pressing a strong kiss against Erin's lips. The hand on Erin's neck weaved it's way into the brown locks, and her other hand placed itself gently on the hem of Erin's grey sweatshirt, her fingers teasing the smallest expanse of skin.
Erin's brain was in overdrive, she was kissing Holtzmann, she was kissing Holtzmann, she was- She was practically on fire. The toxic feelings that had brewed earlier at the thought of the younger scientist dating Claire had vanished, replaced tenfold with the feeling of every nerve in her body standing on end. Her long fingers found themselves first on Holtzmann's waist, but before she knew it, she had one hand cupping the engineer's cheek, and the other wrapped around the smaller girl pulling her closer and closer to her own body.
As they slowly broke apart, Holtzmann's impish grin from earlier had not subsided. "Trust me- boss, if you keep that up? All is forgiven."
Erin let out a small snort accompanied by a goodnatured eye roll and Holtz watched, satisfied, as a blush returned to her face.
She grabbed Erin's hand, wasting no time intertwining their fingers, and started walking back to the entrance of the lab. She shot Erin a wink, and Erin could've sworn her heart skipped a full three beats.
0-0-0-0
Following the aftermath of their saving the city, the Ghostbusters were quick to set up shop in the firehouse they had been hoping for. Abby was mid-soup crisis though when she heard Patty's exasperated yell of "Really?!" come from Holtzmann's new den.
She climbed the stairs, curious as to what had caused the (honestly, not unusual) outburst. When she arrived, she was Holtzmann perched, legs spread and arms back, on one of the many workbenches, a satisfied grin on her face. Erin was on the other side of the room, fidgeting with her clothes and hair, trying as hard as she could to look busy.
Patty turned to Abby as she mounted the last few stairs into the lab area. "These two hooligans were going at it, again!"
Erin's face somehow reddened, but Holtzmann just nodded her head flirtatiously towards the girl. In the past weeks, Holtz had discovered her new favorite past time- working to discover every possible way to make her girlfriend blush. There was nothing quite like seeing the rush of blood to Erin's face, a visible symbol of Holtzmann's handiwork in a way.
Abby groaned, "Holtzmann, really? We all work here! You know that! That's the third time this week Patty's caught you guys. And that's super dangerous, you can't just make out on top of what you have lovingly referred to as 'the love child of the robot from Hardware and a small scale bomb.'"
Holtzmann grinned, "Ah, yes... Those were good times."
"That was yesterday, Holtzy!" Patty barked, her earrings moving in tandem with her wild head movements.
"What can I say?" Holtzmann said, turning back to Erin, and flashing her a bright grin, complete with dimples and a wink for good measure, "I'm irresistible."