Chapter Text
Dear Hannah,
I know this was the weekend that you came home from college for a visit. You’ll probably hate me after reading this, but hear me out, I miss you, I really do, I wish I could see you before I did this, but the beatings… I can’t stand it any longer. The continuous beatings from everyone, everyday. Please don’t think that this is your fault for going to college. It’s not your fault Hannah, you did nothing wrong. In fact I am happy that you went to college so you could escape the pain. I don’t want you thinking you did something remotely wrong, because you were the only one who actually did something right. Hannah, you were my only true friend I have ever had. My “friends” that you saw me with, were jerks to me. They beat me with anything they could find including their words. Making fun of the way I look and calling me horrible things because of how smart I am. They continuously harassed me everyday. This the first and last I ever said about it. Now that I am gone it won’t matter much will it? Heh. But what my friends did was nothing compared to what Dad did. You know how he acted after mom’s death coming home drunk and lashing out at us. The beatings he gave the both us back then are nothing compared to what I get now. Ever since you left for college… He’s been coming back even more violent than before. Bruises cover my entire body night after night. Depression began to overwhelm me with both my friends and father beating and abusing me I had to find a way to get through it. After a while I did find this way, and it was cutting. Cutting helped me push away all of the pain that they have given me. This may also explain the reason why I started wearing long sleeves all the times and refused to go swimming.
This note is the note I leave for you, once I am gone it won’t matter if everybody knows or not, so it is your decision to tell anybody, if anyone. Honestly I don’t think anybody will care if you tell them. You will be getting home tonight at about seven. Like I said before, I will be gone, I guess by this note you probably can tell why. Suicide. I’m sorry I didn’t say it until now but I bet you could figure out why this note was here. I tried doing everything to avoid it but it couldn’t be put off any longer. As these are my last words I guess this also makes it my will. In that case you get everything that I owned, hopefully you’ll find something good to do with it. Screw everybody else, all they get is a “fuck you”. They are the reason I am doing this so… I will have left the house an hour before you will arrive to start making my way to Mt. Ebott. It’s a long journey to the top, so it will take a while to get there. Do you remember when we were little and used to play at the base of the mountain? Back then when mom would make us flower crowns and staffs, and proclaim us the rulers of the mountain. Back then when it seemed like nothing would ever hurt us in a million years? It’s so easy for thing to change… Do you also remember the cave mom told us to never to go near because children go missing there? Well I am no child, but I am going to go missing there. Please stay where you are, don't come any closer, don't try to change my mind because you can’t I’ll already be gone.
Never once while you were gone did I take off the matching necklaces mom gave us. The golden angel meant too much to me ever take it off. Even now, I am still wearing it and I will wear it all the way through death. I hope you are still wearing yours, knowing you I think you are but I can never be too sure.
Without you texting/calling me daily, I probably would have done this sooner. Hannah you were the only thing that kept me going this long. Please don’t hate me for any of this. Trust me it is for the best. Thank you Hannah for being the best big sister and best friend I could ever ask for.I love you Hannah, never forget that. I’m just doing this because I can’t stand it any longer. Please don’t hate me after I do this, please forgive me. I love you. As part of my will, please don’t come after me, escape from Dad and never come back. Stay at your college, because your friends there will keep you safe.
Goodbye Hannah, I love you.
- (y/n)