Work Text:
York,
I know you and I know the chances are this letter will remain on a shelf, constantly in your line of sight for months or maybe even years after you get it and that’s okay. I also know every time you look at it you’ll probably feel guilty for not reading it sooner and that is not.
I don’t want anything that ever connected us to bring discomfort to your life because all you’ve brought to mine is unadulterated happiness and joy.
The family we built together to this day will always be my greatest accomplishment. It was something I never really thought was possible for me until I met you. We may have dressed it up, and romanticised it over the years considering our first night together was as drunken and messy as they come. Still there’s one part of that story I stand by to this day.
I loved you from the moment I met you.
I don’t think I realised it and it’s easy to talk that way now after so many years but it’s true. The moment you were no longer in my arms or at the very least close enough to touch, I was missing something that no one else could ever recover. The simple act of loving you and the family we raised has completed me. When we were young you would stress how suburbia was dull and despite the adventures we had since then, those are my most cherished moments.
Those weekend mornings in the park, growing strawberries in the garden or just reading a book by your side are the thoughts that comfort me through the treatment. I spent so much of my life regretting myself and my decisions but from the moment you entered it, I’ve had none. I spent my entire life trying to repay South for her setting us up but I could have lived decades longer and never have succeeded.
Knowing the boys they’ve already read and showed you their letters so I don’t want to repeat too much but I hope you followed my wishes and gave me whatever send-off gave you the most comfort. I also hope you all didn’t just wear black, I told you to brighten things up, there have been too many tears shed over the last year and I need to be sure you will all do everything you can to stop that trend.
I know I’ve been selfish with the treatments, refusing to give up. I know I probably could have spared you all this unnecessary heartache but I’m a selfish person. You, Theta and Delta have just been too hard to let go of but this battle is getting too hard.
I’m so proud, of all of you. The beautiful families our children have surrounding them really make me feel like we did something right. It always meant so much to me to fill Theta’s life with the love and care I know we both desired as children and I feel like with you by my side we provided that for both him and Delta. The three of you have made this old man happier than he ever thought possible and I know together you’ll all be strong. Let the boys help you York, rely on them because they need that as much as you need them. I don’t want you to be alone, that was always my biggest fear.
Live well York.
I love you desperately and always will.
Your husband,
North.