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It's Ford's birthday.
It still feels weird without Stanley, as it has every year so far.
Ford has given up on birthday celebrations years ago. The last one he had was before everything happened with his brother. He prefers not to think about it.
Instead, Ford shifts his attention to the pile of dead rats laid down to spell his name. It makes no sense, he's barely gone into town Who would have done this?
Ford doesn't even bother picking up the dead rats. He just leaves them there. He's way too tired for this.
Taking it as a sign, Ford decides to head to bed a bit early. Normally, he would just get back to work, but he knows he'd be miserable the whole time if he did, and it might impact his work. It's not worth the risk. This portal is his life's work, he can't risk slipping up.
Settling down in his pajamas, Ford folds his glasses neatly and sets them on his nightstand, turning off the lamp and drifting to sleep.
-----
Ford's eyes light up when he opens his eyes to see the vast expanse of the dreamscape, knowing his Muse must be here.
"Hiya, slick!" His Muse's voice calls out, coming from all directions at once.
"Bill! Hello!" Ford clasps his hands together at his chest excitedly. It's always a blessing to see Bill in his dreams.
"Did you like my present? It wasn't easy possessing that many RAAAATS!" Bill appears beside him, in his triangle form, small enough to fit in Ford's palms.
Ford's eyes widen and he adjusts his glasses in surprise. Bill remembered his birthday.
"That was you? I, er, appreciate the sentiment but.. It's not exactly a.." Ford struggles to find the words, trying to not offend Bill, but also trying to let him know it's a.. less than traditional gift.
"Still trying to grasp all these silly human customs! How about I make it up to you? I'll mix you a drink, my treat!" Bill offers, hooking his arm around Ford's shoulders.
"It's called the 'Myoclonjc Jerk' and it can get you LOADED in your sleep! Salvador Dali LOVED 'em!" Bill explains, a small glint in his eye.
"Oh, no, I couldn't possibly.. I'm not much of a drinker." Ford shakes his head, flattered but not knowing the reprecussions of this drink. Not that he doesn't trust his Muse, of course, but he isn't sure how much Bill knows about human sleep and whatnot..
"I'll convince you tomorrow night!" Bill chimes, a smile on his face. Eye?
Ford snickers and smiles, watching his Muse glow.
The dreamscape fades away, and with it, Bill. Ford does not dream for the rest of his sleep.
-----
It isn't until the next night Ford starts to regret turning down Bill's drink. How could he be so rude? Besides, how often does he let himself have a bit of fun? Not to mention how interesting the side effects could be.. Given they aren't harmful. He trusts Bill, though, and knows he wouldn't give Ford anything that would hurt him.
Ford sighs in regret as be falls asleep at his desk, pen still in hand.
-----
Bill visits him in his dreams for the second day in a row. He doesn't normally visit so often, but Ford isn't complaining of course.
Bill appears in his triangular form as usual, greeting Ford.
"Sixer!" Bill pats Ford on the back, shockingly strong for how small his hands are.
"My Muse, Hello." Ford smiles, straightening out his back and hearing it crack from how hard Bill patted him.
"SOO, how about that drink? It'll be fun! And you won't be alone, I'll join ya!" Bill offers again, and Ford debates one more time before smiling and nodding.
"Sure, why not? But I can't be the only drunk one!" Ford teases, adjusting his glasses.
"Pshh, duh! I won't let YOU be having ALL THE FUN!" Bill nudges him and summons two purple drinks in a red solo cup, handing Ford one with a bit less in it.
"CHEERS!" Bill says and taps their drinks together. Ford downs half the drink pretty quickly, getting tingles from it and how it burns his throat.
"Let me make it easier to injest this stuff," Bill announces, and Ford is about to ask what he means, before meat and viscera wraps around Bill's triangular form, changing into his humanoid body. Ford grins at the sight.
"I've missed you, my Muse. You don't visit as often as you used to." Ford admits, the rest of his drink floating in the air as he grabs onto Bill's hands.
"What can I say? I'm a busy guy!" Bill laughs. Maybe it's the alcohol starting to settle in, but Bill's smile makes Ford blush a bit.
"I can imagine. You must have so many other devoted followers! How do you do it?" Ford asks, eyes wide in wonder.
"Truth be told, Fordsy, you're my one and only! Follower, that is. I only inspire ONE worthy scientist at a time, and I must say, you're the most promising so far!" Bill praises, coming up behind Ford to massage his shoulders.
"Really? Only me?" Ford looks honored, face red in flattery.
"Only you!" Bill ruffles Ford's brown curls, making it get a bit frizzy.
"I-I'm honored." Ford says bashfully, holding his plastic cup again in a death grip, cheeks flushed. The alcohol has started to set in, clearly.
Bill snaps and a velvet couch appears, the blonde slowly sinking down into it.
"What do humans usually do for birthdays, anyway? If they don't do the rats thing, then what?" Bill asks, sipping on his own drink in a glass rather than a plastic cup.
"Well, sometimes they.. Party. Or do something fun. You got the gift aspect right, though!" Ford explains, words getting harder to piece together.
"What do YOU usually do on your birthday?" Bill asks, a little smirk on his face, tail flicking.
"Well.. The past few years, nothing. But before that, sometimes St- er, my brother and I would do karaoke. It was stupid." Ford shrugs, a sad smile on his lips at the memories. Bill notices and yanks him out of his sadness.
"I've got it! Why don't WE do karaoke?" Bill exclaims, snapping to summon a karaoke machine and two microphones, holding one out to Ford.
"I shouldn't.." Ford says skeptically, trying to push the microphone away.
"Come on, it'll be fun! I wouldn't want my favorite scientist to be BORED on his BIRTHDAY, would I?" Bill insists, and Ford gives in at the excited smile on Bill's face. How could he say no to his Muse?
"Just one song.."
-----
It's been.. probably hours? It felt like hours. They've sung countless songs together-- BABBA, DC/AC, The A-51's, and more. It felt just like those old times with Stanley, except more electric. More Bill.
The two of them collapse onto the couch together, sweating and out of breath from singing so much, their voices hoarse from use.
"That- That was the most fun- the funnest thing- that I've done in a long time." Ford stumbles over his words, turning to Bill, unable to stop himself from staring at Bill's form.
"What can I say? Life's always a blast with yours truly!" Bill smiles and points to himself. Bill's definitely had more to drink than Ford, but is less affected by it than him. So maybe that's the justification Ford makes for what he does next.
Ford grabs Bill by the undone button-up shirt and pulls him into a kiss, unable to control himself any longer. The alcohol mixed with the dopamine makes Ford act rashly, and once he realizes what he did he pulls away and scooches away from Bill.
"Oh my god, my- I'm so sorry, my Muse, I-I wasn't thinking! I-" Ford apologizes, but is cut off by Bill cornering him against the arm of the couch and kissing him again, more tongue this time.
Ford doesn't pull away. Why would he? There's a literal God practically sitting on his lap right now kissing him senseless. Who would he be to complain about that? Especially not when it's Bill.
Ford's always had a secret little crush on Bill, admiring him and worshipping him a little too much.
But this? Ford has never expected Bill would reciprocate-- or maybe this is just for fun. Either way, Ford can't think about it any longer, because Bill's mouth is venturing down his face and onto his neck, gently biting and sucking and kissing there. Pathetic moans coming from Ford.
"M-My Muse, are you sure-" Ford asks quietly, sitting up just slightly. Bill pushes him back down.
Bill doesn't reply, just continues kissing and licking Ford's neck, eliciting groans from Ford.
"You look DELICIOUS." Bill mumbles, a sort of growl in his voicd that Ford's never heard before.
Bill starts to try and undo the buttons of Ford's shirt, but gets frustrated and ends up just ripping the shirt and tossing it aside. Bill giggles and grabs Ford's chest, licking a stripe up his sternum. Ford shivers, painfully hard in his pants by now.
Hands come from under the couch-- or somewhere, he can't really tell-- to grope and grab at Ford's pecs and sides.
"LOOKIN' GOOD, SIXER!" Bill whistles, undoing his own button-up with a snap of his fingers, now only clad in a bra.
Ford practically drools at the sight of Bill's chest. He's never seen real ones.
"I could say, er, the same about you, my Muse." Ford smiles softly, trying not to stare at Bill's chest. He's tiny, no more than 100 pounds at most. Ford could probably lift him if he wanted to. That thought process is quickly shut down.
"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Bill smirks, and Ford remembers Bill can read his mind.
"You LOVE the idea of overpowering a GOD, don't you?" Bill whispers, teeth grazing Ford's neck.
Ford opens his mouth to reply, althought he isn't sure what to say. However, Bill cuts him off.
"Well, I can tell you that WON'T be happening. Tonight. Maybe if you're good after we see each other in person.." Bill teases, and honest to god grinds down on Ford's clothed dick.
"Y-Yes, My Muse!" Ford nods excitedly, and Bill rewards him with another grind.
"FOR NOW.. We'll stick to-" Bill does a crude 'sucking off' motion with his hand and mouth.
"And MAYBE, if you're LUCKY, a little-" Bill does another crude gesture with his hands, one finger going through the circle he made with the other hand.
Ford nods. He'll take anything Bill is willing to give.
"You should feel lucky. Not everyone gets to get sucked off by a GOD, like myself." Bill snickers, watching Ford's face flush at the wording.
"I-I do, I am- I'm so lucky, yes!" Ford inhales sharply, watching Bill sink to his knees in front of the couch, face positioned between Ford's knees.
Ford doesn't speak, afraid of saying the wrong thing. Instead he bites his lip and fixes his glasses that started falling from his face.
"Keep talking." Bill demands as he positions himself between Ford's legs, hand coming up to palm at the tent in his pants.
"You-You're beautiful, My Muse, so perfect! You look so- so pretty and.. and-" Ford rambles, but gets distracted as Bill rubs his erection with his palm. Bill smirks.
"Go on.." He urges, and Ford's breath hitches. He could probably cum from this alone, but he needs to feel Bill's mouth on him.
"God, I could.. I would kiss the- the ground you float above if you asked me to. I would.. I'd do anything you asked of me, as long as it meant you were happy. I'd- Ah! I'll worship you forever, forever, forever-" Ford's words trail off into a whine as Bill undoes his zipper and pulls his pants down a bit. He could just snap all his clothes off, but decides to do it the old-fashioned way.
"Good Sixer." Bill purrs, and Ford shivers, unable to speak as Bill pulls Ford's boxers down with his teeth.
Ford's (less than average) dick springs out, and Bill giggles at it.
"And what's THIS? A 7TH FINGER?" Bill teases, poking Ford's measly 3.5 inch cock.
"Bill.." Ford sinks in his chair, embarrassed and ashamed. He knows his size isn't ideal, but..
"Aw, don't look so ashamed, Fordsy! I'll still suck it! Even though there isn't much to suck." Bill snickers, and Ford's face burns red. But his dick jumps at the teasing.
Ford is about to tell him to knock it off (or keep going, he isn't sure), when Bill licks a stripe up the underside of his shaft. Ford jolts and moans louder than he meant to, grabbing Bill's hair for support.
"Hands off the hair, pal." Bill frowns, swatting Ford's hand away.
Bill goes back to it, licking the sides to tease Ford.
"Please, please, please.. I want- I want you- Please!" Ford begs, struggling not to thrust up into Bill's open mouth.
"Want me to what?" Bill flutters his eyelashes fake-innocently.
"Come on.. You know.." Ford whines, face red and eyes refusing to meet Bill's eye.
"Mmm, no.. I dunno what you mean. You gotta say it." Bill fakes, one hand wrapped around Ford's dick.
"I want.. I want you to- God- I want you to s-suck me off," Ford gets redder somehow, hands covering his face.
"See, that wasn't so HARD, was it?" Bill smirks, and hands other than Bill's main two come from behind the couch to remove Ford's hands from his face.
"LOOK at me, IQ." Bill demands, forcing Ford to watch him take Ford's dick into his mouth, making eye contact the whole time. It takes everything in Ford not to thrust up into Bill's warm, wet mouth. But he wouldn't want to disappoint his Muse, or, god forbid, hurt him.
Bill swallows around Ford's cock, obscene wet noises coming from Ford's lap as Bill works his tongue along his shaft.
Ford squirms and moans, Bill's name on his lips.
"Stop squirmin', would you? I don't have much to work with already, I'm trying to focus!" Bill's voice echos from the mindscape, his mouth.. occupied. His tail flicks in slight annoyance behind him.
"Sorry.. You just- Your mouth feels so good.." Ford whines, throwing his head back, unsure what to do with his hands. He ends up gripping the couch he's sitting on, wanting to grab onto Bill's hair so badly and fuck his face and-
"Your thoughts are LOUD, Fordsy," Bill's voice purrs from nowhere in particular again, with his mouth in use.
"Sorr- Sorry!" Ford apologizes again, moaning again when Bill does something with his tongue that makes him jolt and leak precum.
Bill senses him getting close, so he speeds up, 'schluck'ing sounds coming from them.
Ford's mouth opens wide in pleasure, and he can't hold back anymore. Grabbing onto Bill's hair (even though he might get reprimanded for it later), he thrusts up into his Muse's mouth and cums, watching as the blonde opens his mouth wide to catch the sticky white cum on his tongue and face. The sight alone is enough to make Ford spurt more cum out, and it lands in Bill's eye, much to the blonde's disgust.
"Ugh, come on, in the eye, really?" Bill mumbles, but he snaps and the cum in his eye is gone.
"S...Sor...." Ford tries to apologize, but he's currently panting and laying limp on the couch, softening dick still out.
"You're lucky you're CUTE, kid!" Bill rolls his eye, then sits down on the couch next to Ford.
"Yoohoo, Earth to Sixer!" Bill snaps in Ford's face. Ugh, refractory periods.
"I could get rid of those silly refractory periods.. Once that portal is built." Bill climbs into Ford's lap facing him, massaging his shoulders with a grin.
"Anything for you, My Muse." Ford mumbles, head still thrown back since he can't find the motivation to move it. His six-fingered hands find their way to Bill's waist and ass, however.
"Mmhm. You look so cute like this, Fordsy. All red and warm, out of breath! Just from my mouth!" Bill teases, leaning forward to press himself against Ford, tits pressed against Ford's chest.
Bill idly kisses Ford's collarbone and neck, leaving hickeys that would be hard to hide if this wasn't a dream technically.
"How long are you going to take? I'm getting IMPATIENT." Bill pouts, claws digging into Ford's shoulders a bit.
"I'm sorry, Muse, just.. One moment, you- god, that was the best.. the best thing to ever happen to me." Ford finally lifts his head up, glasses askew and cheeks red, hair sweaty and voice a bit hoarse.
"I like you like this. Maybe I should do this more often." Bill grins mischievously. The demon starts grinding against Ford's thigh, and Ford groans a bit.
"Are you sure? I don't.. I don't know if I'll be able to, er, pleasure you.." Ford asks, blushing a bit.
"I don't CARE how small your dick is, I want you to CUM IN ME and GET ME PREGNANT." Bill's claws scratch down Ford's back, leaving bright red marks.
"Okay, okay.. God, okay." Ford says shakily, dick twitching back to life even though he's still sensitive from his first orgasm.
"I WANT YOU." Bill says shakily, humping Ford's thigh faster now.
Ford gets bolder-maybe that's the alcohol- and pulls Bill into a kiss, all tongues and teeth and hot breath.
Ford's fantasies are coming true. Bill in his lap, half-naked and making out with him, grinding against his thigh. It's straight out of a wet dream. Or, maybe this is a wet dream technically.
Ford is hard again already, faster than his usual refractory period. Might be Bill's doing.
Ford opens his eyes and Bill is only wearing panties now, bra gone. He breaks the kiss to stare at Bill's tits shamelessly.
"Perfect, so- so perfect." Ford sighs, reaching to grab one of Bill's A-cups and squeeze it.
Ford's mouth ventures down to Bill's neck, kissing gently as his free hand runs up and down Bill's sides and back.
"I er, don't know how to.." Ford glances down at Bill's panties and blushes.
Bill ignores him and carefully removes his panties, tossing them somewhere.
"Gimme your hand." Bill instructs, and Ford swallows nervously and holds it out, still not daring to look at Bill's bare cunt.
Bill maneuvers Ford's hand underneath him, letting two fingers grazing against his wet lips.
Ford shivers at the feeling, and experimentally presses against what he thinks is Bill's clit. Evidently, it is, since Bill jolts.
"More of that to start." Bill tells him, and Ford nods, rubbing his fingers against Bill's clit and pinching it gently.
Clearly he must be doing something right, since Bill is letting out involuntary noises and his tail is wagging.
"Find the- here," Bill nudges Ford's hand out of the way and reaches down himself, finding his own hole and plunging a finger in slowly. It feels weird, as it usually does at first.
Ford's eyes widen, watching with a mix of fascination and arousal. It's really hot, but also really interesting.
Bill fingers himself slowly, smirking while Ford watches.
"Now you try. Just one finger to start." Bill pulls his finger out of himself and sucks on it. Ford nods and nervously dips one finger into Bill's folds, finding the hole Bill was fingering. He carefully puts one finger inside, feeling Bill's walls clench around his finger. The thought of it being around something else..
Ford shakes his head and tells himself to focus. He puts his finger all the way in, looking to Bill to make sure it's okay.
"Now just.. Thrust your finger. Curl it inside." Bill instructs, voice just a little shaky, barely noticeable. But Ford notices and internally pats himself on the back.
Ford listens, slowly thrusting his finger in and out, curling it inside, making Bill let out noises Ford's never heard before.
"Okay, okay- Now, add a second finger." Bill tells him, claws gripping Ford's shoulders tight, drawing a bit of blood.
Ford listens, carefully adding a second finger. His middle and (first) ring finger are inside Bill now.
He waits for a moment for Bill to adjust, then does the same thing he did before. Thrusting his fingers and curling them. Not too hard.
Still, it has Bill trying not to moan and gripping Ford's shoulders for dear life.
They continue like this until 3 of Ford's fingers comfortably fit inside Bill, despite Bill telling him not to flatter himself and that much stretching isn't necessary.
At this point, Ford is so hard he's worried he'll cum as soon as he gets inside Bill. Just the thought of it has him shivering.
"You've been good. I'll reward you." Bill gets up off Ford's lap (much to his disappointment), and motions for Ford to get up too. Bill snaps and the couch changes into a big bed, and Bill leans against the edge, beckoning Ford with one finger.
Ford is quick to comply, grabbing Bill by the waist and pushing him against the mattress, kissing him hard. Bill's arms scratch against Ford's back again, drawing more blood, but Ford doesn't care.
Bill wraps his legs around Ford, pulling him closer and causing Ford's dick to graze Bill's wet cunt.
Ford pulls away from the kiss, but stays close as he looks down to line himself up carefully.
"Y-You're lucky, you know." Bill mumbles, barely trying to hide the shakiness in his voice anymore. Bill grabs the glasses off Ford's face and puts them on.
"I know, thank you, thank- Oh-" Ford pushes in just a bit, his tip the only thing inside Bill now.
Bill whines and throws his head back, tail bristling like a cat.
Ford pushes inside the rest of the way (which isn't much, to be honest), making Bill moan like a pornstar. Ford can't tell if he really is doing well or if he's playing up his reactions. Either way, Ford doesn't care, because he's fully inside Bill now.
"Come on, don't get shy now, Fordsy," Bill urges, out of breath and red in the face.
Ford plants both of his hands on the mattress, looming over his Muse. He doesn't want to admit it, but it is boosting his ego making Bill make these noises underneath him.
Ford listens, starting slow, pressing gentle kisses to Bill's collarbone and neck.
"Harder, harder!" Bill whines, practically begging for it. Who is Ford to say no?
Ford quickens his pace, short thrusts and pushing in as far as he can.
Bill moans loudly, mumbling something in another language. If he's acting, he's certainly a good actor.
Ford's mind is scrambled as he pushes in and out of Bill's cunt, wet and tight just for him.
Bill wearing his glasses, askew on his face contorted in pleasure, and the feeling of Bill clenching around his dick and scraping his claws down his back is enough to bring Ford to the edge.
"Gonna- Oh- Bill! Moses, Bill, I'm gonna-" Ford warns, trying to hold back until Bill says so, but struggling a lot.
"CUM INSIDE ME, PUMP ME FULL, FORDSY!" Bill arches his back off the bed, and Ford cums inside him with one last thrust. Bill isn't far behind when Ford starts rubbing his clit with his thumb.
Bill cums with a screech that doesn't sound human, going limp on the bed with a blissed out grin.
"For- For a virgin, you're not too bad." Bill huffs out, cum seeping out of his cunt and drool dripping down his mouth.
"Oh god, are you okay? I-I wasn't too rough, was I?" Ford immediately starts to panic once he comes back to reality, checking Bill for bruises.
"Psh, nah. I've been cut open and dissected before as FOREPLAY!" Bill laughs, almost finding Ford's concern cute.
Ford looks at Bill again, laid against the bed, legs spread, and his cum spilling out of his hole.
"I love you." Ford spurts out, not really meaning to say that.
"Yeah, most people do!" Bill giggles, propping his head up with his hand, tail swishing idly.
"N-No, I mean- I'm in love with you." Ford says nervously. He blames it on the alcohol, but he's sure that's long since worn off.
Bill doesn't respond. His face doesn't even change. He just disappears and reallears behind Ford, kissing his neck and leaving.
Ford flushes, knowing he's about to wake up to ruined sheets. Again.
And he does. Not only are his sheets ruined and covered in cum, the hickies from earlier still litter his body and the scratches from Bill are still on his back.
How is he going to hide this from F?