Chapter Text
Honestly, your life was pretty boring.
Now, were you incredibly privileged? Of course. Were you grateful? Definitely. But everything felt incredibly bland. No matter what you did, it was always tricky to find joy in things. Luckily, you had resorted to indie games to heal your lack of color in life.
One day, you were scrolling through itch.io (your usual hotspot for games), and on the front page you saw a thumbnail that immediately caught your eye. It was some sort of evil jester dude, with sharp teeth in a pointy grin. As you played through it, you found yourself enjoying it a lot, and you were pretty disappointed when it was over. So naturally, you hopped onto AO3 to see if there were any good fanfictions on it.
A few hours later you had effectively seen all the content in the community surrounding this game. You groaned, leaning back from your device and rubbing your now incredibly dry eyes. It had been a long process, but it was enjoyable. Frankly, you enjoyed the idea of yanderes, although you’d never admit it to anyone. The concept of someone loving you unconditionally, not caring if you shared things you’d never dare to share otherwise… it comforted you.
You had always felt like an outcast. Obviously you had tried socializing, but talking to others never went well. It usually seemed to end with concerned looks or giggling behind your back. Eventually you had stopped trying. Fuck your stupid baka life.
But this game gave you the adrenaline rush of danger (however completely unaffected you were by it in real life) and the flutter in your chest of the feeling of being loved. God, you’re such a loser.
You sighed, powering off your device, undressing, and turning on the shower. In your desperate forum-scouring it had gotten late, and you didn’t want to skip out on your dreams. Those were the most exciting times in your life most days.
With a yawn, you slipped into your pajamas and crawled into bed. You closed your eyes, assuming that one cartoonish sleep pose with hands together under your head to feel extra giddy. You really hoped you’d dream about this game tonight. It would be fun to see what your brain cooked up.
——————————————————————
You were woken up by the sound of your alarm blaring and scaring the bejeesus out of you. As you jumped to turn off your alarm, you paused. Through your sleep-bleared eyes, you realized something was off. Your alarm wasn’t where it was supposed to be. You frowned, rubbing your eyes to get a better look around. This… wasn’t your room. It looked familiar, but it definitely wasn’t yours. After a moment of panicked recollection to make sure you hadn't made any mistakes last night, you realized where you’d seen this room before. It was the protagonist’s room from The Freak Circus.
You smiled. Now, this was a dream you could get behind. Your favorite dreams were the ones where you could feel things with your body, and this seemed to be one of those. Granted, you did have a strange amount of clarity for a dream, and your surroundings weren’t as blurry and shifty as they should be… but you shrugged it off. Obviously you wouldn’t be able to tell properly until you woke up, so you may as well enjoy it while you can.
You rolled out of bed, stretching and picking up your phone, which, strangely enough, was almost exactly the same as yours— except, after a quick internet search revealed, with no mention of the game The Freak Circus. At this point you were impressed with your brain. This was starting to seem real. Like, really real.
Before you had time to process it, though, your phone dinged with a notification. Opening your texts, you realized the only contact in your phone was… your boss. You cringed. The main character in this game is definitely a… weird person, even by your standards. So simple that they seem abstract. You sighed, opening the message.
’You’re five minutes late,’ it read. ’Are you coming?’
You cursed under your breath. You had completely forgotten about the alarm. You quickly shot back a text that you had accidentally slept through your alarm and were on your way, before rushing to get yourself presentable and out the door.
As you rushed down the street, your mind was racing just as fast as you were. If you were late, you may not be there in time to help Pierrot— and that’s what gets the game going! Dammit, this is your dream, and you’re not gonna let yourself be a side character.
You kept speed-walking until you paused. This place looked like the background at the beginning of the game. Quickly, you looked around, and saw Pierrot, handing out flyers just as he should be. However, as you squinted, you saw he had the telltale scratch on his face. You swore again, digging in your bag. Sure enough, you had a little box of pink kitty bandages.
Mustering all your (very little) courage, you plastered on what you hoped was an amiable smile and approached him. “Excuse me, sir,” you called out. He glanced in your direction, and, realizing you were talking to him, straightened up and looked at you, curious.
You were just realizing how much taller he was than you. You weren’t tiny, but… wow. You smiled harder. “I, ah… couldn’t help but see your injury! Let me help with that-“
You pulled a bandage out of your bag, quickly unwrapping it and sticking it onto his face as fast as you could to make sure you didn’t mess anything up. He flinched visibly, before stilling, seemingly incredibly confused. Dammit.
You pulled your hand back, smiling again, albeit more weakly. You could feel your face turning red, but you couldn’t tell if it was from embarrassment or bashfulness. “Um… yeah. H-have a nice day…!” You quickly turned and power-walked in what you hoped was the direction of the cafe, screaming at yourself in your head. Of all the times to socially malfunction, of course it had to be now. You didn’t know whether to laugh or scream. Whatever. You took a breath, trying to calm yourself as you walked into the shop. It’s just a dream. Whatever happens doesn’t actually happen. Don’t take this too seriously.
“You got here just in time,” your boss said as you walked in, making you jump. You had kind of forgotten about him. “It’s busier than usual with the cold,” he continued. “Start as soon as you can, Carol’s running late and I’ve been covering for her. The orders are already on the counter, please take them to the tables.”
You simply nodded. You didn’t really need to ask if Carol was okay. You knew she would be fine… probably. At least alive. Which was good, because damn was she fine. Maybe you could date her if you really did screw everything up this morning with your social sabotage.
You served your first three tables, definitely not paying attention to the customers’ yammering. You tried to see Pierrot in the window a few times, but there was nothing. You stayed optimistic, though, telling yourself that of course it was a little different, but it definitely wasn’t screwed up.
You also didn’t bother paying much attention to Boss’s telling you to not allow flyering in the cafe, to pick up all the loose flyers, blah blah blah. As you were about to throw them away, you heard the jingling of the bell. You turned around with a smile, stuffing the flyers into your pocket. Maybe you had a chance after all. “Hello,” you greeted the man. “Hello! I’d like a strong, hot coffee,” he said, before sitting down.
As you brought him his order, he noticed the flyers sticking out of your pocket. “What’s with the flyers?” He asked. You mentally took a deep breath. You remembered this part of the game well. To get a pink ticket, all you had to do was stick as closely as possible to the original script. You shrug in an attempt at nonchalance. “People keep leaving them around, so I was picking them up,” you reply.
The man nods, seemingly agreeing with you. Ha. “How rude to do that in a place of business, right? If you want, I can take them for you. I’ll toss them out when I leave, no big deal. I was gathering some paper for recycling anyway.” As far as you knew, this offer didn’t come with any concealed malicious intent, and honestly, the less trash in your pockets the better. You handed them to him with a smile. “Thank you, I appreciate it.” “No problems, dear,” he replied.
You paused, trying to think of what came next, when he spoke for you. “Do you like the circus?” A lightbulb went off in your head. This was the part you were most familiar with. “I think I’m a little old for that,” you said, praying that was the right answer. “Nonsense,” he replied. “This circus isn’t for kids. They’ve got some pretty creepy stuff.” You mentally sighed in relief. “So you’ve been there?”
You were trying to recall the next lines (again) when his voice jarred you back to reality. “Are you even listening?” Ah. Right. That.
“My bad,” you said, grinning sheepishly. He chuckled. “Thought so. Anyways, take this.” You had to resist pumping your fist as he held out the legendary pink ticket. “Go on, check it out, and then try telling me it didn’t give you chills.” All according to plan.
You didn’t bother with the little show of “but I couldn’t” that the MC originally had. Instead, you nodded, smiling and taking the ticket gratefully. “Thank you,” you said. “I’ll try to go soon.” He smiled. “I’ll be glad to know someone used my ticket.” He waved you off politely. “Thanks for your time. I’ll let you get back to work.” You smiled back at him and waved as well. “Let me know if you need anything else.”
You only got a few moments of peaceful silence behind the counter before Boss approached you again. “As soon as the last customers leave, close everything up and clean the place. We’re closing early today.” You blinked innocently. “Why is that?” You inquired. “I have an appointment,” he said, after a brief pause. “And since you’re working alone today, I’d rather you don’t leave too late.” You couldn’t help but smile at that.
“I’ve gotta go now, can you take care of everything?” You nodded. “Of course I can.” He nodded back, opening the door. “Call me if anything comes up,” he said. You smiled and waved, and the door closed behind him.
A few minutes later, the stranger handed you the payment, wishing you a good night. You couldn’t help but smirk at the irony of it when his back was turned.
As you were about to clean the tables, you heard the bell again. This time, you knew what’s coming. You’re so thankful that this is still happening despite your mistake earlier.
You turned toward the door, feigning confusion, before the lights flicker out on cue. You calmly made your way over to the breakers, fixing the power. Sure enough, the bell rang again, and in walked Pierrot. You’re so excited, you could have kissed him right then and there— but obviously you have some self-control.
You smiled at him, prepared to say your memorized lines. “Oh, it’s youuu…” your voice trailed off as you got a look at his face.
…you could’ve sworn he wasn’t bleeding this much in the game.
Your brow furrowed in concern, and you quickly grabbed his hand and dragged him to the counter, sitting him down on a barstool as you rushed to grab the first aid kit. You didn’t notice the smile spreading across his face.
When you came back out with bandages and antiseptic, he held still for you as you cleaned him up. As you pressed some gauze to the wound and wrapped a bandage around his head, you sighed. “Well… the good news is it looked worse than it is. But you gotta be more careful.”
You looked back up at him, curious. “What the hell were you even doing to get that?”
He seemed to remember something, and stood up, gesturing for you to stay still. With a flourish, he pulled from behind his back, seemingly out of nowhere… a bouquet. Of freshly painted red roses.
You didn’t know whether to throw up or smile. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Surely this only had to be a minor fluke, right? You tried to calm yourself, forcing a smile as you hesitantly took the bouquet. Pierrot’s proud expression dropped as he saw your lack of enthusiasm.
“I… appreciate the gesture, but I really don’t want to see you hurt like that, alright? You had me worried,” you said softly. You hate how cute he looks when he’s upset. He nodded, and you hope he meant it.
Suddenly, you remembered what you forgot to say. “Why don’t you talk?” You asked. Sure enough, he leaned in, whispering in your ear. “I can’t be seen talking, my dear… but I can make an exception if it’s just us two.”
You nodded, pretending to be just learning this information. “Oh, of course! I understand, my lips are sealed.” You mimed zipping your lips. His smile didn’t change as he bowed a bit. “I’m the Pierrot. Nice to meet you.” You mimicked his bow. “Nice to meet you too. I’m [Name].” You heard him whisper something under his breath, to your satisfaction. So far this was… mostly exactly how you had wanted it to go!
“I have something for you,” he said, and held out a ticket. The red one. You had to resist snatching it out of his hands and doing a dance.
You immediately nodded, smiling widely, and took the ticket from him, completely forgetting about the pink ticket in your pocket from the excitement. “Thank you so much!” He nodded, his grin widening. “I assure you, I’ll make you smile during my performance.”
“I’m excited to see it!” You said, but remembered Boss’s orders to close up. “Oh, by the way, we’ve gotta close early today.” He nodded, tilting his head. “Have a good night, my dear,” he said, and with a wave, he left.
As you walked back to your apartment, you had a smile on your face. You were feeling good! Hopefully tomorrow nothing horrifically wrong happened!
Back at your place, you took a quick shower and went to bed. Your exhaustion made the fact that Pierrot would visit tonight slip your mind.
——————————————————————
The sliding door to the small balcony creaked softly as it slid open and Pierrot slid into your room. Sure enough, you were passed out in bed— not exactly a flattering position, on your stomach with your head to the side, drooling a little— but naturally he didn’t mind.
He crept closer to your bed, observing you carefully. He wasn’t sure exactly what your deal was. This morning you, a complete stranger, saw him on the street and gave him a bandage completely unprompted, even though you were in a rush. And now this evening, when he had made that beautiful bouquet for you, you had fussed over him immediately. And the way you looked at him… it was different. Not with fear, like everyone else. As if you actually enjoyed his company.
He shook his head. He couldn’t get his hopes up.
But he wanted more of your attention. Bad.
First the scratch, then the head injury. Both of them returned by your hand pressed up against him. It made shivers run down his spine at the mere memory.
He wasn’t sure what your deal was, but he knew he needed to feel your touch again. To have you look at him like you did, not with just happiness, but adoration. For you to be just as obsessed with him as he was with you.
He wanted so badly to lay down next to you, hold you in his arms and bury his face into the crook of your neck. But he knew he’d probably fall asleep, and in the morning… he’d have problems. So he settled for simply rolling you over in bed to what was surely a more comfortable position and tucking you in, before leaving just as quietly as he came.