Chapter Text
Katsuki startles awake at three in the morning to pounding on his door.
He doesn't bother tugging on a shirt or his sweats before stumbling towards the door. Exhaustion creeps through his bones from a long shift in the rain— getting the city back to normal after the war has been a battle of it's own. Villains use the chaos of rebuilding to their advantage, but Katsuki refuses to let anyone be afraid while he's a pro hero.
Patrolling with Izuku lessens by the week, along with the embers. The agency pairs him with someone new every shift, hoping to fill the gap. It doesn't work.
Swinging open the door, Izuku stands. He's shaking like a leaf in the pouring rain, but it still doesn't hide the tears pouring down his face. It yanks Katsuki out of his drowsy state immediately.
"Shit, Deku." Katsuki grabs his shoulders trying to pull him inside, but Izuku resists. "What happened? Is everyone okay?"
Izuku stares at him, eyes flickering across each feature carefully. Calculating. Memorizing. "Everyone is fine."
"Then what's wrong?"
"I'm breaking up with you."
Time freezes.
Or maybe it's Katsuki that freezes.
He's not really sure, not sure of anything at all anymore. Not with Izuku bawling his eyes out on his front porch, saying things that he was never supposed to say. They promised a lifetime at each other's heels. Especially after a war where their lives were almost cut short, they hadn't wanted to waste a second before making it official.
Katsuki can't imagine a life without Izuku. Not after spending every moment of it since birth chasing after him. He's always planned to chase Izuku until he dies, not even believing that death would be enough to keep them apart. His heart restarting during the war only reinforced that belief.
He wants to be buried in the same grave so they can disintegrate into the same nothingness. And once their particles rejoin the earth together, he'll chase Izuku into the afterlife. Katsuki is not be religious, but he'd build hell with his bare hands if it meant staying with Izuku forever.
One lifetime would never be enough.
He'd crawl through heaven and hell to be at Izuku's side. To hold him. To love him.
As long as Izuku exists in some way, Katsuki will love him.
"Why?" Katsuki croaks out. It's all he can manage though the dryness of his throat, breathing becoming suffocating.
Izuku wipes at his cheeks, but tears keep spilling faster than he can clean up. "The embers are gone."
Katsuki feels his heart crack further.
The embers. Izuku's dream, gone. Vanished from the palm of his hands, the only reminder of the single year where he got to live out his dreams being scars and chronic pain. The electricity thrumming beneath his skin had been lessening by the day—they knew this day would come. But no amount of preparation allows you to accept feeling everything you ever wanted, a moment of having it all, slip from your fingers.
"Deku." He breathes out, pulling Izuku into a hug. He doesn't resist this time, and allows himself to be engulfed in Katsuki's arms. He trembles the way he did when he was 5 and Katsuki pushed him down in the sandbox.
He doesn't have words, not for this.
No words in the world can fix it.
Katsuki's never been good with words anyway.
Neither of them flinch at the lightning that crackles overhead.
Ever since knowing that the embers would disappear eventually, Katsuki has worked to raise money for a One For All replica suit. But even that won't be enough to give Izuku's dream back to him. No one in the world can give him a quirk he wasn't born with, not even Katsuki.
But he'll give all that he has, and then he will work to have more to give.
All Might lost the embers too, but his pain was entirely different. His loss was that of someone who achieved all he ever dreamed of, of someone who spent majority of his life on the top of the world. He gave up One For All when he was done; Izuku gave it up before beginning.
The batshit fucking crazy part of him had wanted to save All For One.
Not for the heroic reasons that Izuku had wanted to save Shigaraki.
Unlike his lover, Katsuki is not good.
He wanted to save All For One so that whenever Izuku lost his power, All For One could use his own to shove a new quirk into Izuku.
Katsuki wouldn't care for a second who he has to steal it from, or what kind of damage having the villain alive would cause the general public. If it kept Izuku's dream alive, then it would be worth it to Katsuki.
But Izuku made the choice for both of them, killing All For One and his own dreams with the final blow.
And Katsuki knows he would make the same choice again.
Izuku is good.
After a moment of tense silence, Katsuki finally gathers the courage to speak again. "Why are you breaking up with me?"
"I have to." He whispers into Katsuki's chest. His voice wavers with each word that he speaks, like he can't breathe through the pain of it all.
Katsuki grabs his shoulders and pulls him back to look at him, and Izuku allows himself to be moved like a doll—lifeless. "That doesn't explain anything. We were supposed to be there for each other, no matter what. I don't give a shit that you're quirkless, Izuku. I told you, it was never about that. Let me support you."
"I can't." Izuku's voice cracks. "I can't. It's not about that. I can't do this, not right now."
Katsuki blinks the rain out of his eyes, or maybe it's tears that he can't seem to hold back. "What the fuck does that mean, Deku? Fuckin' explain? We promised forever, you can't just fuckin' leave me now that things are hard."
"It's not about that!" He shouts raggedly, the intensity of his words startling Katsuki. "It's not just because things are hard."
"Then fucking what?" Katsuki snaps back. "You just don't love me anymore?"
"I'll love Kacchan until the day I die."
No hesitation, no emotion but desperation.
Katsuki doesn't understand.
He's always prided himself in how he can decipher Izuku. How no matter what, he can fold through his never-ending words and gestures in a way no one else can. In a way that sometimes, Izuku himself can't even understand.
But he's stumped.
"Then why?" He knows he sounds pathetic, but he can't help it.
"I don't know who I am anymore." Izuku's head drops. "Not without this. I don't know who I am if I'm not a hero."
Katsuki furrows his eyebrows. "You saved the fuckin' world, Izuku. You'll always be a hero."
"But not an active one. And I won't live my life being defined by who I used to be."
"Then what?" Ugly desperation crawls through each word. "I can help you find something new. We can try new hobbies together, or you can do the technical side of my hero work? We can still have an agency together. Fuck, if it's what I have to, I'll quit being a hero. I'll do anything, Izuku. Whatever it takes."
Izuku smiles slightly at that, lips trembling. He leans forward and gently cups Katsuki's jaw. "I know you would. But you can't do this for me, Kacchan. I need to find myself."
"I can't live without you."
"I know." Izuku whispers. "But that isn't healthy. No part of this is, Kacchan. You being willing to give up your lifelong dream for me. We're codependent. I don't know who I am without you anymore."
He wants to scream until his throat runs ragged.
Katsuki knows Izuku. He's the most selfless fucker alive, especially when it comes to him. Izuku would drown just to give Katsuki a moment of clarity, would suffocate so he can get a taste of the air.
He's just like that. Always has been.
So if he knows how much Katsuki needs him, knows how much this will destroy him, and is doing it anyway?
Something is broken.
Something is broken so far beyond a simple repair for Katsuki to patch up, broken to the core of who Izuku is as a human.
"So it's just over? Like that?"
He takes a step forward, so they're close enough for their noses to touch. "You love me, don't you?"
"Of course I do."
For someone who isn't great with words, those words are as easy as breathing.
Loving Izuku is even easier.
It's stitched into his very being—he can't imagine a version of himself that doesn't love Izuku.
It wouldn't even be him anymore.
Izuku allows their lips to brush slightly, a ghost of what he's used to. "Then let me go. Isn't that the saying?"
"Fuck. Fuck the saying." He laughs wetly, unable to hide his sniffle. "You said we'd grow old together. Live in the same house as my hag, skip rocks on our river when our knees are too creaky to swim."
"It's us, Kacchan. We'll always find each other again. We're made for each other. And when we do, we won't be Deku and Dynamight anymore. We'll be Katsuki and Izuku."
His name out of Izuku's mouth is jarring. Every word that leaves his mouth is. Katsuki hates that he's right, hates that he knows he will always put Izuku first—even if that means crushing his own heart in the process.
Katsuki has spent his life dreaming of becoming a hero. Has spent hours, days, years training. Has put every piece of his heart, soul, and body into it. He wears his scars like badges of honor, proof that his work has meant something.
But after the war, he realized that it's not what he's made for.
His violent hands are made for running his fingers through curly green hair, for cupping a freckled face, for massaging aches and pains out of scarred skin. He's made for quiet nights with homemade katsudon and rambling over the voices on the TV.
Being a hero is his dream, but it means nothing if he doesn't have a home.
If he doesn't have Izuku.
"Okay." He breathes.
"Okay?"
Katsuki can only nod.
"You'll always be my hero, Dynamight." Izuku slides his hand up the side of Katsuki's face. "But I love you, Katsuki Bakugou."
"I love you too, Izuku Midoriya."
He can taste the mix of their tears when their lips finally press against each other.
Katsuki allows himself to be selfish, one last time. He devours, just as his pain devours him.
Izuku is pliant, as if he's letting himself be swept up for the last time.
He can't bring himself to open his eyes when Izuku pulls away. The sound of footsteps against the cobblestone blend in with the rain, echoing with the unsteady beat of his heart.
The water washes away the last of Izuku's touch, until the cold from his absence seeps into his bones.
Katsuki stands there until there is nothing at all.