Chapter Text
"You have to live, Udagawa...please..."
Jolted awake, Udagawa jumps out of bed, shaken by the dream she had just had.
"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry, mother..."
The clock turns back as Udagawa remembers...
As a voidsent, Udagawa Lavandula is a shapeshifter, capable of altering her appearance using illusory magicks. Voidsent are beings of the void, previously
deceased mortals, doomed to feed upon the life force of humanity, aether. Yet despite this, Udagawa sought none of it.
She wished so dearly to coexist with humanity, just to be one of them, if even for a day. To experience life, through the eyes
of a body she so adores...it is a wish that many voidsent share, yet not many can suppress their primal urges,
the desire to feed upon humans' aether. To a voidsent, the taste of aether is as necessary as air or water is for humans.
Udagawa is a bit of an oddball in this regard. She has never, in her life, consumed even a drop aether from the living, simply absorbing what she can from the departed.
Her body, of course, had become slender, thin, and intimidating to many. She had once slipped into the vision of a human, a child who had wandered too far from his parents.
His shriek pierced the...ears? of her, sending a sharp feeling through her entire body, causing her to become invisible. She no longer wished
to reveal herself to anyone, human or not, only reappearing in places where none existed.
After a while, she became depraved, depressed, and starved. Udagawa had nowhere to turn to. Her body had given up on her, no longer moving, turning invisible, or any such things.
Through sheer will, she had managed to remember what she once learned when observing humanity. The Twelve.
She prayed, so deeply, so fervently...for release. She seeked any such way to relieve herself of this body of hers, for a chance to exist
as someone else.
And her wish...
was granted.
Her body was torn apart, lacerated, burned, frozen, submerged, buried, and utterly eviscerated. The pain lingered through transportation. Her body...or, lack thereof..,
felt agonizing. All pains she felt, had taken their toll at the same exact time. Yet she could not scream. Thus, her body had disappeared.
The voidsent of Udagawa Lavandula had perished...
...and a Lalafell child of the same name was born in Ul'dah.
Her mind had been cleared of the insatiable desire to feed upon aether. Her incorrigibly terrifying body had been completely erased. Yet, as a show of kindness from the Twelve up above,
her magical prowess remained untouched. Her illusory magicks had been replaced by form-altering magicks, free to change form as she sees fit.
And her mother, Lisa Lavandula, had loved her dearly despite her form-changing. Her father had never been around for her, however, and she knew not his whereabouts.
In Eorzea, magic is deeply valued, especially in children. Udagawa's magical prowess proved her to be a perfect fit to be a Sharlayan scholar.
As she grew, eventually became the time when she had to depart. Her mother knew what would be best for her, and she sent her off
to Sharlayan to study the arts, of both the arcane and the creative categories.
Over time, her magic had became powerful, and her studies took her to Kugane to learn more about arts and crafts overseas. In her time there, she had eavesdropped on a Sekiseigumi patrol, and caught wind of
a planned attack on her hometown. Infuriated, she flew at breakneck speeds, attempting to make it to Ul'dah in time.
However, her flight was cut short. The speed she was flying at had drained her mana extremely fast, crash landing in the snow of Garlemald.
The people living there at the time took her in, gently caring for her, awaiting her awakening.
Upon her eventual rising, she felt even more angry than ever. The concern and care the Garleans had showed her would have to wait, for she knew not how much time had passed.
Pacing herself properly, conserving mana and recharging at certain points, she arrived in Ul'dah...
to flames.
The attack had already occurred. Frantic and panicking, she searched for her home, or rather...what was left of it.
Eventually, she had found her home, her mother buried beneath the rubble and flames, barely alive.
"U...dagawa...? Is...that you...?"
"MOM!"
"I...I'm so glad...I was...able to...see your face...e..even just...one last time..."
"Nononono, mom...I-I'll get you out! I'll heal you, just..."
"Uda...gawa...my body won't move. My org..*cough*...My organs aren't working. All I..have..are what's left of my lungs and my throat."
"Mom, no! I'm getting you out of here..."
Using her magic, she lifted the rubble, extinguished the flames, and saw the crushed body of her mother, organs spilling out, blood everywhere.
It was a miracle she was even breathing in the first place, yet one cannot say the same about the situation she finds herself in.
"M-mom...I..."
"Udagawa...you have to live.
Udagawa, please..."
"MOOOOOOM!!!"
Her last breath had been taken. The hand she had that clung to her life so dearly, had fallen. Yet, her face had seemed so content, seeing her child one last time before
she had to say her goodbyes.
"Hey, Boss, we missed one."
"...!"
Udagawa turned, with burning tears streaming down her face. She could hold back her anger no longer.
"Did you do this?"
"Listen, kid. War happens and-"
The head of the soldier had been lopped clean off. Blood gushed out as the katana of the "boss" had been stained red.
"...Udagawa?"
Shocked, and appalled, Udagawa's fury had been placed on a pause for a moment.
"You...how do you...know my name?"
He takes off his helmet and shows that he looks just like the pictures that Udagawa's mother had around the house.
Sure enough, this Sekiseigumi solder...
was Udagawa's father.
"Y...YOU!"
"I can explain!"
"I don't WANT an explanation, you BASTARD! MOM IS DEAD, AND YOU KILLED HER!"
"L-listen!"
"NO! I won't listen to a murderer. You abandoned her, and the one time- THE ONE TIME! you come back, you burn down her hometown, and leave her to DIE in front of her daughter's eyes!
You're not my father. I won't let anyone believe it. Now draw your weapon, and fight me. I'll fucking kill you."
"I don't want to fight my own kid, please."
"I'm not your kid, bitch."
Udagawa pours an abundance of mana into a spell so powerful, she can't even wield it. She pours so much mana into it, that it taps into her aether to empower it even further.
"Udagawa, no! You're gonna kill yourself!"
"...And I'll fucking take you with me."
Rushed, her father lunges forward and stabs her eye, stopping the cast, and detonating the spell.
The explosion burns Udagawa's face, and her father gets flung backwards by the blast.
"Oh nonono, are you o-"
"Get.
The.
Fuck.
Away."
Udagawa's mana replenishes enough for her to fly off, causing a downburst which blows her father back even more. Aiming for reprieve in Gridania, she soars in the direction of the location she seeks.
"I'm..I'm so sorry..."
Her father weeps, having lost all he had once called family. If he can even call them that.
Udagawa's mana had been depleted, and she crashes once more into Gridania, causing concern amongst locals.
"Oh, gods! Are you alright, miss?"
"...heal."
"Right, right, heal...I'll take you to the Conjurer's Guild! They'll know what to do..."
Udagawa's limp and frail body, carried by this Gridanian stranger, was placed in the care of the Conjurer's Guild.
Her eye had been bandaged, and her body was steadily healed by the members of the guild. She spoke no words, but the silence was occasionally broken by but one word being mumbled:
"sorry."
Eventually, she had recovered enough...well, physically.
"...I'm sorry about the trouble, guys."
"You needed healing. We provided healing. You don't need to apologize, we did what had to be done.
...and quit crashing into stuff!"
"Right. Sorry."
Udagawa had lost so much in just a single day. She didn't know where to go anymore. Despondent, she wandered the lands in search of a purpose.
And she will not find it, not yet, anyways. Her purpose will come.