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"Okay Niall, what's going on?" Louis asks, looking up at his friend from the chair he's sitting on.
“Nothing is going on, Lou.” Niall replies, his smile so wide it looks his face is going to split in halves.
Louis doesn't believe him at all.
“Yeah, sure. Why are you so freaking happy then?”
“I just am, like always. Life is beautiful and all that.” Niall explains moving his hands around and almost hitting the jar with cookies Louis put on the counter a few minutes earlier. It's Louis' favourite jar, because it contains cookies.
“Sit down or you're going to destroy something and I will make you pay for that. And I'm not kidding this time.” Louis adds before Niall has a chance to say something. “Are you seeing some girl behind my back or something?”
“No, I'm not, even though I have an eye on one girl for quite some time. If everything goes right I'm going to ask her out this week.”
“That's great. Maybe you could bring her to the party I'm going to make when Harry comes back home in two weeks.” Louis suggests.
Louis sighs at the thought of Harry, of having his boyfriend back with him after a long 9 months of only talking to each other for mere minutes a week. He shivers at the thought of having Harry in his arms, feeling the warmth of his skin under his fingers, touching every part of his body and kissing him until both of them can't breathe. Louis promises to himself to not let go of Harry for many days, as soon as he locks his arms around the younger man. Needing the closeness of his man more desperately than he was willing to admit lately.
It's just another two weeks until Harry comes back from the army, leaves Iraq and comes back to Louis healthy and in one piece. What's two weeks comparing to almost nine months Harry's been away? It's nothing Louis can't take but with every passing day, every hour without Harry he misses him even more.
Louis sighs, bringing the mug of warm tea to his lips. Thinking of Harry always makes him feel a bit nostalgic. Every time he feels unsure of if he's all right and scolds himself at the same time. Of course Harry's all right, he has to be.
Just as he puts the mug down on the table a sound of the doorbell fills the flat. It stops Niall's speech about God knows what, as Louis was too deep in his own thought to listen to him.
“Who's it again? I haven't invited anyone today and somehow you've decided to visit me, now someone else.”
“You should be happy that you're not spending the day miserably in your flat, sitting alone in front of the TV and eating ice cream.”
“I am, of course I am happy.” Louis says as he walks towards the front door.
Louis' not really surprised as he find Liam on the other side of the door. He's happy though, he's always happy when he has a chance to catch up with his friend as they haven't got as much time to spend together as they did a few years ago. Liam has a fiancé to come back home to and is working the job of his dreams, of which he has to spend so much time, even after hours.
“Don't tell me that you haven't talked with Niall about coming here today, cause I won't believe you anyway.” Louis says, wrapping his hands around his friend and hugging him tight.
“Niall's here?” Liam asks, sounding surprised. Louis still doesn't believe that the younger boy didn't know about that, he's a great actor after all.
“Yeah, he is. Came around half an hour ago.”
“What a coincidence, isn't that amazing? By the way it's great to see you Lou.”
“Yeah, I'm glad you've decided to visit me as well. Haven't seen each other for a month.”
“I've been a bit busy.” Liam admits.
“You don't have to explain yourself. Let's go to the kitchen. Want coffee or tea to drink?” Louis asks, already moving towards the said room.
“Just water is fine.” younger boy replies, right behind Louis. “Hi Nialler, it's been a long time!” he adds as they walk inside the room, and in a second he and blonde boy are giving each other a friendly hug.
“It's good to see you, mate. How are things?”
“Great actually.”
“Okay, you can admit now that it's not a coincidence that both of you have decided to visit me today.” Louis says, putting a glass and bottle of sparkling water on the table for Liam.
“Of course it's a coincidence. Why would we plan this out?” Niall says, looking with his blue, innocent eyes back at Louis.
Louis would love to believe his friend, but he can't get rid of the feeling that there's something behind it.
He pushes that feeling to the back of his thoughts and focuses on conversation with his friends instead.
Maybe fifteen minutes passes before the doorbell rings again.
Liam and Niall look at each other, clearly excited. Louis doesn't know what's going on, but there's one thing coming to his mind.
“Are you throwing a surprise party for me? Inviting all my friends and family? Because, even though I don’t understand why, I wouldn’t mind that at all.
Liam and Niall don't say anything looking back at Louis. Older boy shakes his head and walks towards the doorway, hearing as his friends run after him.
That's clearly weird but Louis just shrugs, twists the key and press on the knob, pulling the door open.
What he sees on the other side knocks the air out of his lungs and make his legs weak. Some startled, high noise escapes his mouth and his eyes fill with tears.
On the other side of the door stands Harry, his Harry. He still is wearing his uniform, the one that is way too baggy on him.
In a second Harry has his arms around Louis' waist, hugging him close to his body and lifting him from the floor in the process. Harry steps more inside the flat and closes the door loudly with a kick. Louis wraps his legs around Harry's waist and puts his hands in Harry's hair, running running his fingers through the short buzzcut. Louis' face is already wet from tears as he hides it in the crook of Harry's neck, breathing in the very familiar scent of younger boy.
Louis feels Harry's wet face pressed against the side of his head, but he only tightens his hands around Harry's neck.
“Louis... Louis, I've missed you so fucking much. I love you.” Harry whispers quietly between kisses he leaves on lover's head.
Louis pulls his head away to look at him. He's still beautiful, as beautiful as he was all these months ago when he was leaving Louis behind to serve the country.
Harry's eyes are still as green and breathtaking, even though they're filled with tears right now. His cheeks are red but his skin is tanned from months spent under the heavy sun. Harry's lips are red and look so kissable that Louis has a problem with stopping himself from leaning down and connecting them with his own. He wants to stare at Harry for a bit longer though, to learn every new line on his face, every possible change in his look. Louis runs his fingers up and down Harry's face, barely touching the skin with his fingertips. He lets his finger run down Harry's nose and around his lips, he feels the soft skin of younger boy’s cheek with his palm and presses his finger against Harry's dimple.
“It's you Haz, it's really you. You're here with me.” Louis whispers, still not completely believing that.
“I am, Lou. I'm back home with you.”
After these words left Harry's mouth Louis grips Harry's cheeks tightly and connect their lips in a desperate kiss.
There's a lot of tongue and hard breathing against each other's mouths, teeth tugging on each other's lips and salty taste of tears, tears of happiness, mixing with the unique taste of each other.
It's far from perfect, they've had so many better kisses, but for Louis this moment and this kiss is still perfect. It's the best kiss he's ever had.
Harry pulls away definitely too fast in Louis' opinion and he tries to chase his lips to connect them again. Months of lack of Harry's lips can't be fixed in just a few seconds.
Harry presses his lips to Louis' forehead instead and loosens the grip on his hips, giving him a sign to stand on the ground. Louis does that, but still keeps his hands locked behind Harry's neck.
“Why haven't you told me you're coming back earlier?” Louis asks, his fingers playing with the short hair at the back of younger boy's neck.
“I wanted to make it a surprise for you.” Harry admits, kissing the side of his head once more.
“For how long have you known you're going to be back earlier?”
“Three weeks?” Harry says, making it sound more like a qestion than a statement. Louis can't stop looking inside Harry's beautiful green eyes. He wants to look inside them for the rest of his life.
“And you were keeping that away from me for so long?” He asks. Harry gives him a small smile and kisses the tip of Louis' nose.
“It was freaking hard for me. You don't know how much I wanted to tell you the good news, but at the same time I wanted to give you the best surprise ever. Aren't I the best present you could ever get?”
“Of course you are, I can't think of anything better, ever. You're the only thing I need to be happy.”
Louis hides his head in the croock of Harry's neck again, getting lost in the feeling of Harry's hands running up and down his back. It's something he's been missing for so long.
He completely forgets they're not alone in the room, notices that just as he hears some whispering.
“And both of you have know about that all along, haven't you?” Louis asks, turning his head to look at his friends. “Fuck, have you been filming that the whole time?”
He hides his face in Harry's chest again, embarrassed with himself. Harry chuckles and runs his fingers through Louis' hair.
“Of course we did. Something like that won't happen again and it's an amazing, beautiful, romantic and moving moment.” Niall explains.
“You're going to be grateful for that one day.” Liam adds. “And yeah, we've known that Harry's coming back today.”
“I knew both of you where up to something.” Louis says, pulling away from Harry but lacing their hands together as he doesn't want to lost contact with him. “Niall's been acting weird the whole time as he came here today. And when I've opened the door for Liam I was sure that there's something going on. I wasn't expecting this though.”
He runs his fingers along Harry's knuckles and Harry tightens his hand around older boy's hand for a second.
“It was so hard to keep it away from you. I had these words on the tip of my tongue a few times.” Niall says with a chuckle.
“Okay, let's move to the living room or the kitchen though. Let's not stand in the corridor.” Harry says, already tugging Louis toward the living room.
“We'll be going then.” Niall says, pocketing his phone and looking at Harry and Louis with a smirk on his face.
“Yeah, we will give you time to spend together, just the two of you.”
“That's so nice of you.” Harry says, his finger running along Louis' pulse point on his wrist. Louis' heart is still beating madly in his chest and he has to feel it under his touch.
“Give us a call when you finally leave your bedroom and we can hang out.” Liam says, already moving towards the door, Niall following right behind him.
“Will do it for sure.” Louis says, smiling warmly at Harry.
“You shouldn't expect it for another week though.” Harry says and Louis feels a blush covering his cheeks.
“We know that. We won't take your time any longer. See you in a few days, guys.”
“And don't be afraid to text us when you don't have anything left to eat but don't want to leave the flat. I'll come to rescue you.”
“We'll remember that.” Louis says, trying really hard not to get too annoyed with his friends. He just wants to put his hands on his man right now. He wants to be alone with him.
As Louis and Harry are finally left alone Harry smiles at him and pulls Louis close, by his hips.
“I've missed you, Lou. So much.”
“Me too. I can't sleep well when you're not here with me.”
“I love you so much.”
In response Louis brings their lips together, his hands sliding back around Harry's neck.
Only a few minutes of kissing, with his body pushed against the wall and Harry's body pressed to his and Louis is completely hard in his trousers. He can't stop small noises from escaping his mouth, but Harry seems to like it, groaning against Louis' lips and grinding their hips together.
Harry's lips move to Louis' jaw and the older boy moves his head to the side, giving his lover better access to his neck. Louis breaths hard, his fingers digging in Harry's arm as he gets lost in the feeling of other man's mouth on his skin, the feeling he's been deprived for months and missed like crazy.
The fabric of the uniform is harsh under Louis hands and he really wants to take it off of Harry, get rid of it and forget about these last months he's spent alone. He wants to forget about lonely nights he's spent covered from head to toe under the blanket but still shivering from cold. About the times he's eaten dinner alone, looking at the empty chair across from him, wishing Harry would be there. About all these family parties he's went alone to, thinking of what Harry's doing at the same time.
He wants to get lost in the moment, in the feeling of having Harry back. Of the feeling of Harry's warm skin under his fingers.
Louis pushes Harry away and before younger boy has a chance to connect their lips again he whispers “Take off your uniform, please.” His voice is husky and shaking a bit, what this man does to him.
Harry's fingers immediately jump to the jacket, undoing the buttons as fast as he can.
Louis would love to help him and get Harry naked faster, but there's nothing much he can do, so he just stands there with his back pressed to the wall, trying to calm his breath. It's hard though when the jacket drops to the ground and his eyes fall to Harry's tattooed, muscled arms.
Next Harry unbuttons his trousers and pulls them down, his boots getting in the way though and Harry sways on his legs, Louis steadying him with his hands around the hips.
“Be careful there.”
“Damn boots.” Harry curses, bending down and as fast as he can taking them off. Just a moment later he's standing in front of Louis only in his t-shirt and briefs, the sight mouth watering.
Louis feels dizzy as Harry presses against him once more, connects his lips to Louis' jaw and sucks.
“Haz... Let's take it to the bedroom.”
“Good idea.” Harry agrees, immediately lifting Louis from the floor.
“Haz!” Older boy lets out a high yelp at the surprise.
“I don't want to waste another second.” Harry whispers, running towards the bedroom, holding Louis tightly in his arms.
Harry puts Louis carefully on the made bed and slides his hands under the hem of Louis' t-shirt, running his warm hand up man’ stomach, bring the fabric up at the same time.
Louis impatiently pulls it off of himself and throws it somewhere, not caring at all where it's going to lend.
Harry's breath hitches as his eyes roams Louis' naked chest with adoration and lust clear in his eyes. Louis grabs the handful of Harry's shirt and pulls, giving him a sign to move closer.
Harry does just that, but not before kissing Louis tummy and whispering with his voice hoarse “You're so beautiful, gorgeous.”
Louis lets out a shaky breath at Harry's words. He makes a place for Harry between his legs and younger boy leans down, covering Louis' lips with his own once more. Harry's fingers runs along Louis' ribs making him shiver as his lips suck on Louis', his tongue pushing between the older boy's lips and drawing out a moan.
Louis runs his fingers up and down Harry's back, feeling as the strong muscles move under his skin. He pushes the fabric of the t-shirt up to Harry's armpits and Harry pulls away just to take it off. In a second their naked chests are pressed together and Louis pushes his hips against Harry's, both of them moaning in pleasure.
Then it's all about wet lips sucking on each other's skin and desperate hands touching every part of their bodies. In no time they're both completely naked and rocks against each other, causing such pleasurable friction that Louis' eyes rolls to the back of his head from that feeling.
“Oh God, Lou. I've missed you so much. I've missed that so much, missed having you so close to me.” Harry whispers against Louis' ear, his voice breathy.
“Me too, Haz. Missed you so much.” Louis' last word turning into a long moan as another wave of pleasure wrecks his body.
He feels he's getting close. It's happening fast, but he feels the heat of Harry's body for the first time in months, so it's something predictable. Every touch feels like a fire burning his skin in a pleasurable way and every kiss Harry leaves on his skin leaves a pleasurable shiver. Louis' so desperate to come, his body trembles for it.
Harry feels it too, after being away for so long he still knows Louis' body like the back of his own hand.
Harry pushes his hand between their bodies and wraps his fingers around Louis' hard cock, older boy’s' body arching into the touch.
“Oh God, Haz! I'm so close.” Louis moans out, his fingers digging painfully in Harry's shoulder.
Harry's hand only moves faster, the drag of his hand dry and a bit uncomfortable, but still the only thing Louis need right now.
“That's right, babe. Let it go.” Harry says, his hand only gaining speed. Louis' lets out a long, breathy moan, squeezing his eyes shut and rocking his hips. “Come for me.”
Louis can't stop it, not that he tries, and lets the pleasure flood his body, Harry's name slipping of his tongue.
He lets the wave of pleasure wash over him but opens his eyes fast, just to see Harry's eyes close in a moment of ecstasy. Louis drinks the sight of Harry in that moment, the line that appeared between his brows, the bitten lip, vein pulsing at the side of his neck. Harry comes on Louis' stomach, breathy moans escaping his closed lips.
Just a second later Harry collapses on Louis, his body still shaking.
Louis wraps his hands around Harry, running his fingers up and down Harry's wet back and playing with Harry's short hair which curls at the ends. Younger boy breaths fast against Louis' neck, pressing kisses to his' skin from time to time.
They lay like that for a few minutes, before Harry moves and lies down next to Louis with a content sigh. He immediately takes Louis' hand in his and tangles their fingers together.
“I've missed that.” Harry whispers quietly, stroking the back of Louis' hand with his thumb. Louis turns his head to look at him, Harry looking right at the ceiling with a small smile on his face. “I've missed having you close, taking your hand in mine, seeing your face the first thing in the morning and kissing you before we fall asleep.”
“I've missed it too, even things I've never thought I might miss.” Louis admits, moving to the side so he can lie closer to Harry. Harry doesn't protest as Louis pushes his calf between his legs and puts his hand on his chest. The younger boy only moves closer, his smile blinding as he looks back at Louis.
“Like what?” Harry asks rising his brows.
“You forcing me to go to the gym with you on Saturday mornings or watching romantic comedies I don't even like with you. I even missed the way you were always leaving the door to the bathroom open.”
“Really? You were always nagging me for that.”
“I know, I guess this means that I've missed you like crazy.”
“I would say I missed the dirty socks you're always leaving next to the bed, but so many guys in the army were doing that, so I didn't even have a chance to miss it.”
Louis laughs at that, hiding his face in Harry's neck.
“I have to tell you that I've stopped doing that months ago.” Louis whispers against Harry's skin.
It seems like Harry's stopped breathing for a moment, before letting out a small chuckle.
“Oh God, so many things have changed in these month.” He says, bitter edge in his voice.
Louis presses a kiss to his neck, tightening his fingers around Harry's hand. He knows that Harry feels bad that he's left and skipped so many things that have happened in these nine months.
“Yeah, some things have changed but not too many.” Louis replies. “We're going to have to learn some new things about each other, won't we?”
“Of course we will. I still am in love with you like crazy, you're still my Lou.”
“And you're still my Harry.” Louis whispers, his heart beating madly in his heart. “Are you hungry? Should we eat dinner already?”
“I would rather take a nap first, am a bit tired after the journey. You don't have to stay here with me if you would rather do something else.”
“But I really want to, have missed having you next to me when I sleep.” Louis whispers and Harry tugs him even closer.
They have so many things to talk about but also a lot of time right now. Louis relaxes and closes his eyes, falling asleep to the sound of somehow familiar breathing of a person next to him.
*
When Louis wakes up, for a moment he's very confused as he feels a warm body next to his. He opens his eyes fast and he's met with a breathtaking sight of a sleeping Harry.
A wide smile grows on Louis' face at the sight of his lover, as the memories from just around two hours come back to him. Harry is back.
He watches Harry for a moment, tracing every part of his face with his eyes. He's still perfect, as perfect as he was when he was leaving Louis.
Louis' hungry so he presses his lips to the corner of Harry's mouth before getting out of the bed, even though he would love to stay there with him for the rest of the day.
He finds his briefs in the corner of the room and puts them on before exiting the room, of course throwing one more look Harry's way first.
Harry was the one cooking in their relationship, but since he's left all these months ago Louis has learnt to cook something edible, some things are even quite tasty in his opinion. Just like the pancakes he's decided to make.
He’s already taking the last pancake of the pan when a warm body presses against his from the back. A very warm, strong and what's the most important naked body.
Louis shivers as Harry's hands wrap around his body, folding his arms at his stomach.
“Smells amazing.” Harry whispers against Louis' ear, taking his earlobe into his mouth and sucking for a moment.
“Thank you, I've made vanilla pancakes. Hope it's going to taste as good as it smells.”
“I was talking about you, but the food smells good as well.” Harry whispers, attaching his lips to Louis' neck this time.
Louis can't stop the breathy moan from leaving his lips, pushing his ass back against Harry's hardening cock. Harry moans against Louis' neck, grabbing his hips hard.
“We should eat now as the pancakes are still warm.” Louis says, pushing against Harry's crotch anyway.
“Yeah, we should.” Harry whispers back, sucking harsh on his neck, surely creating a bruise.
Louis can only moan quietly, his breath quickening. It's good Louis' turned off the cooker before Harry's pressed against him or pancakes would burne for sure.
“Let's go eat.” Harry whispers before taking a step back.
Louis takes a shaky breath, his legs weak. Harry takes two glasses from the cabinet, sending Louis a sweet smile before putting them on the table.
Louis watches as Harry walks to the fridge, and he can't take his eyes off of Harry's naked bum. It's a great bum. His whole body looks great, he's gained some muscles these and looks incredibly hot.
“Water or juice?” Harry asks, throwing Louis a look above his shoulder. He catches Louis staring at his ass and naughty smile grows on his face.
“Juice would be great.” Louis says, turning back to the cooker and taking a plate full of pancakes. “Take out whipped cream as well.”
“Are you going to put it on my body and lick it off?”
“Maybe later.” Louis answers, the images of Harry's body covered in whipped cream filling his mind. At this pace he's going to end up completely hard before they even have a chance to sit at the table and eat.
“Sounds great, can't wait already.”
Louis puts a jar of nutella and plate of fruits he's cut earlier on the table just as Harry finished pouring juice into two glasses.
“Don't you think you should put some underwear on before we start eating?” Louis asks as he takes the place across from Harry at the small kitchen table.
“No, I feel great how it is. Love the look on your face when you're watching me.” Harry admits and Louis' eyes immediately trail down younger boy's body until his eyes are met with the edge of the table.
It's a bit of a shame that he can't see his whole body, Louis would love to know if Harry's completely hard already and he might or might not push his fork to the ground later on to check it under the table.
“Don't judge me, you've got an amazing body.”
“Yours is not too bad as well, Lou. You've been going to the gym, haven't you?”
“Sometimes. It's been a bit lonely to sit here in the evening by myself so if I didn't have anything to do I was going to the gym. And of course on Saturday mornings too.”
Harry's brows rose at that statement, as he puts the first piece of pancake on his fork. Louis feels a bit unsure and nervous as he had barely cooked before Harry left. He really hopes Harry's going to like the pancakes.
“Really? It was so hard to get you out of bed to go to the gym together on Saturday mornings.”
“I know but somehow I couldn't sleep in on Saturday when you weren't there with me. Was going to the gym then to do something with myself.” Louis says and Harry's foot moves up Louis' shin.
“We'll have to start going there together from now on.”
“Oh, I don't think I will be able to get up now as I have you back. I always sleep well with you.”
“We'll work on that. By the way, these pancakes are great, delicious. I already find some good sides of me leaving you alone.”
“Yeah, I have learnt to cook some things, nothing too fancy though. The most fancy thing I've ever cooked was chicken stuffed with mozzarella, wrapped in Parma ham with a homemade mash. I did it when my mum decided to visit me on Sunday. It tasted pretty good.”
“You have to cook it for me one day.”
“Of course. Will make a romantic dinner for you, maybe next Saturday. Just you, I, romantic music, candles and delicious food. How does that sound?”
“Amazing.”
*
They clean after dinner together, Harry washing the dishes and Louis drying them and putting away.
Of course Harry couldn't resist splashing Louis with water, and before Harry's washed all the dishes the briefs that Louis had on were completely wet and Louis had to take them off.
When the kitchen is clean they decide to take a shower and of course it ends up with them snoging under the spray of steaming water, what leads to desperate hand jobs. Then they wash each other's hair and bodies and they wipe their bodies with fluffy towels.
When they emerge from the bathroom it's already after eight.
Louis prepares tea for both of them and as he comes back to the living room he finds Harry at the DVD set, running through the films they own.
“How about watching 'Love actually'?” Harry asks, smiling sweetly at Louis.
“I knew it.” Louis replies with a short laugh, putting the steaming mugs on the coffee table.
“I haven't watched it in almost a year.” Harry says back, small pout appearing on his face.
“Of course we can watch it, you idiot.” Louis replies, shaking his head with a fond smile.
“When it comes to pet names I rather prefer babe or Love. I would love it if you call me Tiger. Idiot sounds a bit weird.” Harry says with his face serious and Louis can't help but laugh out loud.
“Tiger? Really?”
“Yeah, it sounds dangerous and sexy. I'm your sexy tiger, aren't I? If you don't believe it I can prove it to you, let's just move to the bedroom.” Harry moves his brows suggestively and Louis only laughs harder.
“Play that film and come here, my Tiger.” Louis says, settling comfortably on the couch and putting the blanket that Harry's prepared on his thighs.
“Just a second.” Harry replies and just then he turns around and on his bare toes he runs towards the couch.
Harry sits down with his back against the side of the couch and immediately pulls Louis between his thighs. Louis comes easily, sighing with content as his back leans against younger boy's chest. Louis puts the blanket around their bodies, taking a moment to cover both of them as best as he can to keep both of them warm. He's sure he won't have a problem of staying warm as just a contact with Harry's body makes his body hot.
Louis puts his head against Harry's shoulder and his hand against Harry's thigh, stroking the skin there. Harry wraps his arms around Louis' waist and puts them on Louis' stomach, kissing the side of older boy's head from time to time.
Louis doesn't pay much attention to the film though. He still can't believe that Harry's actually here with him.
24 hours ago Louis was trying to read a book, thinking how in two weeks Harry's going to be back, and right now he's actually in the arms of his man. Of the man that he loves more than he ever thought is possible.
“I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” Louis whispers quietly and feels as Harry's body tenses under his.
“Louis Tomlinson, are you proposing to me?” Harry asks, his voice shaking just a bit.
Louis forgets how to breathe for a moment, to overwhelmed with a thought of marrying Harry. Exchanging the vows in front of the most important people to them and putting wedding bands on each other's fingers, promising eternal love. The thought of telling the whole world that they belong together and intend to spend the rest of their life with each other.
“I- No. I'm not proposing, but... I would love to marry you one day. Really. Want to marry you so badly. You?” Louis manages to say as he turns in Harry's grip to look at him.
Harry's smiling down at Louis, his eyes soft and full of love.
“I would love to marry you, Lou. It's going to be my biggest dream coming true. Marrying the most amazing man this world has ever known.”
Louis feels like his face is going to split in half from how wide he's smiling. Harry presses a kiss to Louis' cheek and then to his lips.
“I'm glad we've got it now.” Harry whispers.
“I love you so much, Haz. I'm so happy you're back.”
“Me too. I don't want to leave you for so long ever again, it was breaking my heart. I missed you so much that sometimes it was hard to think or even breath. I couldn't sleep at night, missing the warmth of your body and your skin under my fingers. I was spending my days thinking about what you're doing, what you ate for dinner, what you were watching on TV last night. For the whole week I was always waiting for the day when I could finally call you and hear your voice, listen to what you've been up to the past week. If not these phone calls I think I would get mad in there.”
Tears appear in the corners of Harry's eyes and Louis feels like crying himself. He twists completely in Harry's arms and then makes Harry put his legs together so he can sit on his lap and hug him. The blanket falls to the ground long forgotten as they have more important things to take care of right now.
“I was always so scared that I wouldn’t see you again, that I won't be able to look into your eyes and tell you that I love you.”
This time both of them couldn't stop the tears from falling, Louis' fingers wiping the salty drops from Harry's cheeks.
“I've been so scared too, Haz. I've been scared that I won't see you again or the next time I see you you'll be lying in the coffin and I will be saying goodbye to you. Sometimes I was waking up in the middle of the night because of the nightmares I had, seeing you covered in blood or getting a call that you're dead. I was always waiting for the call from you, every week waiting in anticipation to hear from you, as it was the only chance for me to know that you're fine, that you're alive. You don't know how scared I was when it's been past 7 on Friday and you haven't called yet. The most terrible thoughts were running through my mind.”
Harry tightens his arms around Louis, pressing his moist lips to Louis' forehead.
“We've both been through a lot.” Harry says and Louis can only nod his head, his throat too tight to say anything more.
“I don't want to go through something like this ever again. It's too hard, watching starved people, sick and without a place to go, devastated houses and corpses lying on the streets. But the hardest thing was to see my friends hurt, with the wounds wide open and fighting for life. It was hard as I watched one of them taking the last breathe and falling asleep for eternity. I knew then how fragile my life is and that I might not come back.”
“You don't have to do it again. I don't want you to. You can work on becoming a photographer, you've always loved that.” Louis says, trying to change the conversation, so Harry don't have to tell him the most painful memories, which are still so fresh to him, too fresh and for sure hurt a lot.
“I don't think I will do it again. It's been too hard for me. I knew that it won't be a piece of cake, that you need to be mentally strong to get through it but I thought I can do this. I thought that the training I went through prepared me enough. Now I know how stupid I was, cause it hasn't showed at all how hard it actually is.”
“I think you should maybe talk to someone about that.” Louis says cautiously. “Someone who would understand you and help you forget about these months or at least help you deal with it.”
“I know, I've got the first meeting with a therapist on Monday. From what I've heard he's one of the best so I hope he's going to help me get rid of the negative thoughts and live in peace with the memories I've gathered in the last few months. I don't want to put any of this onto you, it wouldn't be fair.”
“You can, I want t-”
“I won't.” Harry interrupts Louis. “No one deserves to go through something like that, definitely not the most amazing man I know and love with all my heart.”
Louis doesn't say anything more but wipes Harry's wet cheeks with his shaking fingers. Then he cuddles close to him, his arms around Harry's waist and head on his chest. He listens to Harry's beating heart and thanks God that he came back to him alive and in one piece.
Harry puts his hands on Louis' back and rubs it in soothing motion, kissing the top of Louis' head from time to time. Neither of them pay any attention to the film on the TV and soon enough Louis starts dozing off, wrapped in the familiar warmth.
“Lou, don't sleep yet.” Harry whispers right against Louis' ear. “Let's move to the bedroom.”
“It's perfect right here.” Louis mumbles, only tightening his hold on Harry.
“Maybe for you but I'm sure that my back is going to start killing me pretty soon from this position.”
That makes Louis move away almost immediately, rubbing his sleepy eyes. He gets up and pulls Harry up by the hand as well. Harry goes easily and trails after Louis to their bedroom without a word.
Older boy takes his place on the right side of the bed and pulls Harry after him, younger boy collapsing on the matters right next to Louis.
Louis is too sleepy so Harry is the one who pulls the covers over both of them. Then he turns around so his back faces Louis and grabs one of his lover's hands, so older boy can wrap it around Harry's waist.
Louis only moves closer to Harry, puts his forehead to the back of Harry's head and his feet between Harry's calves and then he falls asleep in a matter of seconds.
Harry's back so they will make everything work. It might request a lot of work from both of them, there will be better and worse days, but that's how it always is in a relationship. It's going to be a bit harder though, but it's definitely worth it. They're both sure of that.