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Till had planned out his round of Alien Stage perfectly. Even if the segyein killed him for taking control of their perfect production, no one would forget his (possibly futile) act of rebellion.
Everything had gone according to plan until he smashed his guitar on stage. As soon as it breaks into pieces, Till panting for breath through his exhilarated grin, the elevated stage is enveloped in smoke.
He drops the neck of his guitar and covers his face with his shirt, coughing and trying to see through the haze. Acorn should be to his left, and he'll fall off the stage if he wanders forward or too far to the sides, but he's not sure he can find his way backstage.
Till takes a single faltering step back before someone unceremoniously scoops him up and throws him over their shoulder. It's a human, not a segyein, but slung over their back, he can't tell who it is.
“Let go of me!” Till beats his fists against the firm back of the man carrying him, aiming a few kicks at his stomach.
The man grunts in pain, but tightens his grip. “Would you rather escape on your own? I should have known you'd still like punching me.”
The voice is familiar enough that Till stops fighting, and tries to lift his body to get a glimpse of his rescuer. But all he catches is long, messy black hair, tied back into a small ponytail. Maybe it really is him. But isn't that impossible?
Till remains silent as he's carried through the warren of backstage hallways, full of other figures carrying guns and barking orders at each other. He's not sure why the resistance wants to save him of all people, but he won't argue.
When he's carried out of the arena through one of the backdoors, Till is set on his feet so the man who saved him can grab a motorcycle leaning against the building.
The man is far too familiar, and his appearance makes Till’s chest ache. Till stares at him for a few moments before he can no longer deny who it is, despite how many years have passed. “Ivan?”
Ivan flashes his snaggletooth as he smiles. “I didn't think you'd remember me.”
Instead of bursting into tears, Till opts for anger. “You left without saying anything, of course I remember you! How the fuck did you get out of Anakt Garden?”
The segyein kept a close watch on all the children in Anakt Garden for days after Ivan disappeared, and Till had been questioned. But he hadn't known where Ivan had gone. He wished he had.
He had been livid at Ivan for escaping without him, but then the loneliness set in, and Till cried himself to sleep for weeks. Mizi and Sua had tried to keep him company, but they couldn't replace Ivan. No one could.
“I wanted you to come with me, but it wasn't possible. Weren't you happier staying with Mizi?” Ivan starts up his motorcycle, and gestures for Till to get on behind him.
He shakes his head. “You left me,” Till accuses. How can Ivan act like it doesn't matter, that they haven't been apart longer than they were together?
“I always planned to come back for you, and I just did. Do you want to stay?” Ivan gives Till the same searching look he did as a child, tilting his head slightly.
“Fuck no, I'm not staying with Urak for another second.” He climbs onto the vehicle behind Ivan, wrapping his arms around Ivan's waist after a few seconds of hesitation. He used to be a bit taller than Ivan, but now he's taller and more well-muscled than Till. It feels wrong.
Ivan kicks off, driving away so fast Till clings tight to avoid falling to the pavement. He buries his face in Ivan's shoulder to avoid the wind rushing past, distantly realizing that Ivan's jacket smells nice, but he can't name the scent. Something similar to the meadow in Anakt Garden, but less artificial. Real nature, maybe.
Neither of them try to speak. Ivan silently drives for over an hour before finally coming to a stop outside a building buried in the middle of the slums. It seems run-down and abandoned on first look, but when Ivan leads him inside, Till realizes the exterior is only a facade. It's full of people, and simple but well-maintained.
“You can meet everyone tomorrow, they want to let you rest for now. I'll bring you to your room.” Ivan doesn't look back at him, striding easily through the halls.
Ivan stops in front of a door. “You'll be staying here.” He turns to go, to leave once again, but Till grabs his arm.
“You're just going to rescue me, drag me here and leave? You really haven't changed.” He never understood Ivan's behavior, and it still doesn't make sense. If he came back for Till, why is he acting so casual?
“You haven't changed either. Will hitting me make you feel better?” Ivan brushes his bangs out of his eyes and steps forward, offering himself up.
“Ugh, no. Not when you're just standing there.” He hit Ivan often enough when they were kids, but only when Ivan had done something to deserve it. He's not sure if Ivan would even hit him back, and they're too old to be punching each other.
Shrugging, Ivan gives him the same smile he used to. “My room is next door if you change your mind. The cafeteria is down the hall if you get hungry.”
“I thought you were dead,” Till mumbles before Ivan can walk away. He had wanted to hope Ivan was still alive after his escape, but even if he was, he was as good as dead if Till was never going to see him again. He's upset that Ivan was alive this entire time, and left him all alone. Ivan can't just brush this off.
Ivan stares at him for a long moment before his smile returns. “A guy like me won't die so easily, you don't have to worry.” He disappears into his own room before Till can argue with him.
It's still evening, too early to go to bed, but Till doesn't care. He collapses onto the bed in his new room and falls asleep almost immediately, hoping his life will make more sense when he wakes up in the morning.
Ivan was the one who always followed him around when they were younger, silently trailing a few steps behind, but now the roles are reversed. Everyone he's introduced to is nice enough, but Ivan is the only person he's comfortable with.
Besides casting glances back at Till every once in a while, Ivan doesn't acknowledge his shadow for days. He works on his motorcycle and repairs a radio in an empty garage without speaking to Till one afternoon, as if he's not even there.
Till hates it. He doesn't want to give in first, but Ivan leaves him no choice. He wants their relationship to be the way it used to be. He wants Ivan to tease and anger him again.
Grabbing Ivan's screwdriver from his hand, Till shoves it behind his back. “I'm keeping this until you talk to me.”
Looking amused, Ivan finally opens his mouth. “I hope you're settling in well.” He holds out his hand and raises an eyebrow.
Till shakes his head, keeping the screwdriver behind his back. “Talk to me properly! Tell me how the hell you got out, what you've been doing here, why you came back for me.”
“I didn't think you'd care about any of that. Aren't we strangers now? We've been apart longer than we knew each other. We're not friends anymore.”
Before Till can remind himself that he's outgrown punching, he drops the screwdriver to throw himself at Ivan. Ivan might be bigger and stronger now, but Till will just have to try harder to cause pain.
He slams into Ivan, sending them both stumbling backwards. Ivan trips over a wrench and falls to the floor, Till on top of him.
Before Ivan can recover, Till lands a solid hit on his cheek. Doesn't Ivan understand that it hurt when he escaped on his own? Will it make sense to him if Till hurts him back?
Ivan is shocked for a few moments before he punches back, wearing the same manic smile as their childhood fights. Till is actually happy to see it after so long.
Finally, this is familiar. There's a sharp pain in his nose and he can feel blood dripping down to his lip, but Till is fairly sure it's not broken.
His vision is blurred with tears, and Till knows they can't all be blamed on Ivan's punch. How does Ivan not understand that he abandoned Till? Doesn't he feel guilty?
Punching Ivan in the shoulder as hard as he can doesn't make him feel any better, so Till does it again. Ivan is too solid now, hitting him isn't very satisfying. But Till can't think of anything better to do.
Ivan draws his fist back, but stops when Till lets out a choked sob. Instead, he wipes away the blood from Till's nose with the edge of his sleeve, his expression softening.
He waits for Ivan to say something as he cries, but Ivan keeps staring up at him, eyebrows drawing together in what Till thinks is confusion.
“I missed you, damn it!” Till yells, trying to make this idiot understand. “You didn't ask if I wanted to go with you, you left me behind! How was I supposed to forget about you?” He buries his face in Ivan's shirt, not wanting to know if Ivan is looking at him in pity.
Hesitantly, Ivan runs his fingers through Till's hair. When Till doesn't push him away, he wraps his arms tight around Till.
If he were stronger, he'd push Ivan away and storm off. Ivan was the one who hurt him. Instead, Till cries into his chest, allowing himself to be comforted.
“I didn't think you'd come with me,” Ivan admits quietly once Till's tears die down.
“You never asked me to come with you! You just left me alone without saying anything!” His voice is muffled by Ivan's shirt, but he doesn't want Ivan to see his tear-stained face.
Ivan tenses, finally forcing out a few soft words. “What if I asked?”
The choice between a lonely existence in Anakt Garden, wishing Ivan was there with him, and a life in the resistance with Ivan at his side is an easy one. Why would he be so upset about being left behind unless he wanted to come with Ivan?
Denying the truth is easier, but he wants to be honest after finally meeting Ivan again. The words slowly escape. “I'd come with you.”
Ivan doesn't respond, and Till wonders if he spoke too quietly to be heard. He looks up, and is met with the sight of Ivan silently crying.
He's not sure what to do to comfort Ivan, Till's never seen him cry before. The rare few times Till let himself cry in front of Ivan, Ivan would hug him, but they're already doing that. How else to make Ivan stop crying?
Taking inspiration from Mizi and Sua, he presses his lips to Ivan's cheek. It was a fad in Anakt Garden years ago, although only those two kept doing it until graduation. But it always seemed to help when one of them was sad.
Instead of his tears stopping, more of them flow down Ivan's cheeks, now turning red. He slowly rubs his fingers over the spot Till's lips touched. “You…kissed me.”
“Kissed? Why are you crying more?”
“Touching lips is called kissing, you do it with someone you like,” Ivan explains, brushing away tears. “I'm not sad, but you can kiss me again if you're that concerned.”
“I don't like you,” Till grumbles, trying to pretend he isn't pleased at Ivan teasing him the way he used to. His Ivan is back.
Ivan helps him stand, his tears slowing, and goes back to work. But this time, he asks Till to hand him tools, and explains what he's doing.
Till doesn't understand most of it, but he perches at Ivan's side and listens. He sticks to Ivan for the rest of the day, but this time he's welcomed at his side instead of following behind.
When Ivan tries to leave Till at his room that night, Till shakes his head and grabs Ivan's sleeve. He doesn't want to separate.
Ivan nods and brings Till into his own room. It's bare, almost fully void of decoration, like their bedrooms in Anakt Garden. Till's room was always a mess.
He's left to change while Ivan disappears to give him privacy. Stolen away in the clothes he performed in, Till's been given a random collection of clothing from other resistance members. The clothes he sleeps in are a bit too big, but comfortable enough.
Ivan comes back in without a shirt, his hair loose, and Till turns pink when he notices Ivan's muscled chest, decorated with a few scars.
He resolutely looks down at the bed. “Why are you half naked?”
“It's warm,” Ivan points out, sounding amused. He climbs into bed on the other side, trying to leave as much space between them as he can.
Following Ivan to bed was meant to keep them close. Till presses himself against Ivan's broad frame, legs tangling together.
Ivan stiffens, staring down at him in surprise.
Assuming his touch is unwelcome, Till tries to pull away. He doesn't want to make Ivan uncomfortable.
“Don't.” Ivan's arms wind around him, tugging Till so close Till can feel his heart pounding, matching the beat of his own. Slowly, the tension drains from both their bodies.
Neither of them speak. Ivan's eyes are closed, but Till is sure he's not asleep yet. His heartbeat is still fast.
Till is the one to break the silence. “Why did you come back for me?”
“I didn't want you to die. When I heard you were entering Alien Stage, I convinced Hyuna to disrupt your performance. We couldn't rescue everyone, so I chose you.”
He frowns. “You didn't think I could win?”
“I know you could, I've heard some of your songs on the radio. But if you won, you'd still be at risk. Urak could experiment on you or turn you into a provider.” Ivan's arms tighten around him, as if he can keep Till from ever facing danger.
Has he ever thanked Ivan for anything? It's only two words, but he can't manage to force them out. But he needs to show Ivan how much he appreciates his efforts. Ivan interrupted Alien Stage just to save him.
Tilting his head up, Till presses his lips to Ivan's. If this is something to do with someone you like, won't Ivan understand how he feels?
It only takes a second for Ivan to react, his lips feverishly moving against Till's. His fingers grip Till's shirt, digging into the fabric.
Till makes a small sound of surprise at the response, but it's not unpleasant. He's never seen touching lips, only heard of it, so this must be how it works.
When he pulls back to catch his breath, he immediately misses the warmth of Ivan's lips. He comes back for another kiss, reminding himself to breathe through his nose so it can last longer.
They part for a few seconds at a time to recover, but can't keep their lips apart. It feels as if the air between them is growing hotter, their kisses growing more intense. This isn't just thanking Ivan anymore.
Till likes how it feels. When Ivan's tongue gently pries his lips open and slips inside, meeting his own, it feels even better. He grabs Ivan's arms to ground himself, letting Ivan explore his mouth.
Maybe he should be pushing Ivan away, but Till missed him so much, and Ivan is being gentle and patient with him. His tongue flicks teasingly against Till's until Till pushes back, earning an appreciative groan.
Without warning, Ivan drags himself away, but can't resist giving Till a quick peck on the lips as he pulls back. “We…we should stop.”
Why does Ivan get to decide that for him? Till shakes his head, trying to capture Ivan's lips again. “I don't want to.”
Ivan folds instantly, trading a dozen more kisses with Till before he finds the strength to stop again. “Do you want to go further?”
“Further? Do you mean mating?” The concept was explained once the students in Anakt Garden were deemed old enough, but made to sound as boring as possible. No one ever explained how good touching lips could feel, won't mating be even better?
Giving a small wince at the term, Ivan squeezes his hand. “Only the segyein call it that. Here, it's called sex, and it's not just for producing children. You do it because it feels good.”
A flash of jealousy rushes through him. “You've had sex before?”
“A few times.” Ivan tightens his grip on Till when he tries to squirm away, scowling. “I won't have sex with anyone else.”
“You better not, I won't forgive you. Show me what to do.” He'll have to be better than anyone else Ivan has been with, despite his lack of experience.
“Are you sure?”
“Just do it.” He shoves their mouths together, nipping at Ivan's lip. He tenses when Ivan's hand slips into his pants, but doesn't stop him.
“Can I?”
Till nods, gasping when Ivan's fingers touch him directly. He's already wet, arching into the touch as Ivan teases his slit.
Touching himself has never been this intense. Occasionally, he feels the urge, and takes care of it quickly. But Ivan is taking his time, gathering Till's slick until his fingers are gliding along.
“Ivan…” He moans against Ivan's lips, trying to stifle the urge to shamelessly beg for more. He's already overwhelmed, and they've barely started.
Finally, Ivan pushes into Till's cunt, swallowing Till's cries as he slowly fingers him open. “Is this okay?”
“Fuck, don't stop.” Ivan's fingers are thicker than his own, able to fill him far better. Till can't manage to stay still, rolling his hips and grasping at Ivan's skin in a futile attempt to anchor himself.
His thigh brushes against something hard as he moves, and it takes Till a second to realize what it must be. “I want to see.”
Ivan gives a small, frantic nod and tugs his clothes off, his cock springing free. It curves back towards his stomach, flushed and leaking precum.
It's bigger than Till expected, but he doesn't have anything to compare it to. For all he knows, Ivan is small compared to everyone else. “Is it going to fit?”
“It will, we can stop if it hurts.” Ivan sucks in a breath when Till's curious fingers brush over his cock, showing Till how to wrap his hand around it.
Ivan's touch is making him fall to pieces, so it's only fair he does the same. Till mostly matches Ivan's pace as he strokes his cock, grinning at the needy sounds Ivan makes.
The upper hand is Till's for only a few moments. Ivan's fingers find Till's clit, drawing light, gentle circles that threaten to drive him mad.
“P-put it inside already,” he begs, squeezing Ivan's cock. Even if it's uncomfortable to be stretched open, Till can't wait any longer.
Reluctantly, Ivan withdraws his fingers. “I want you on top.” He helps Till straddle him, gazing up with wide eyes, as if he can't believe this is real.
Holding Ivan's cock in place, Till slowly sinks down, inch by inch. It doesn't hurt as much as he feared, and he manages to take all of Ivan.
He's trembling as their hips meet, overwhelmed at how full he feels. “I…Ivan,” Till whines, feeling Ivan's cock spill more precum inside him.
“So perfect.” Ivan softly thrusts into him, hands wrapping around Till's waist to steady his partner. “Can I keep going?”
“Please.” Till lifts himself up and drops down onto Ivan's cock, undone by how amazing it feels. It would be easy to do this forever, to lose himself in it.
Ivan supports his weight, helping Till move, but allows Till to set their pace. He cries out with Till each time he bottoms out, fingers digging into his skin.
Now he understands why Ivan has indulged in sex before, but he's still not happy Ivan has done this with others. Till wants to be the only one. “Was it this good with anyone else?”
“Never. Only you.” Ivan's cheeks are dark red, and he refuses to look away from Till for a single second.
Good. Till doesn't want Ivan to have sex with anyone else. He'll happily keep having sex with Ivan so he can keep being the only one. Why would he ever refuse when it feels so amazing?
Till's only complaint is that they can't kiss in this position. He leans down and gives Ivan a pleading look, waiting for him to bridge the distance.
Ivan sits up to join their lips, his cock shifting inside Till to press deeper. He wastes no time guiding Till to move again, their shared motions more intimate as they trade kisses.
“Mmn, Ivan,” he moans softly, tongues tangling together. “Don't leave…”
If they had escaped together, would this have happened sooner? Or did he have to lose Ivan to understand how much he needs Ivan at his side? The time they had together as children wasn't enough. Even the rest of his life won't be enough.
“I won't, not again.” Ivan thrusts into him harder when Till tugs at his hair, tilting his head to let Till get a better grip.
He pulls harder, admiring how soft and fluffy Ivan's hair is. He looks much better with long hair than the bowl cut from childhood.
Ivan gazes at him with devoted, half-lidded eyes, lips swollen from their kisses. “Inside?”
Till is too far gone to process the question. He nods on instinct, not caring what he's agreeing to. Whatever it is, he's sure it will be enjoyable.
Ivan pushes into him one more time, holding Till in place as he floods his cunt with warmth. He presses heated kisses to Till's lips, each one full of affection.
Before he can beg Ivan to help him finish, Ivan's deft fingers stroke his clit. He sends Till over the edge after only a few seconds, holding him through his orgasm.
Till slumps against him, his head resting on Ivan's shoulder. He untangles his fingers from Ivan's hair, wrapping them around him instead.
“Sleep now?” Ivan asks, lips brushing over Till's ear.
“Mhm.” Till nuzzles into his neck, letting Ivan lay them down. He gives a small sound of protest when Ivan pulls out, feeling suddenly empty.
“I'll fill you again in the morning,” Ivan murmurs with a laugh, grinning against Till's skin.
“Who said I'll let you?” He knows he will, but Till doesn't want to seem too soft. Ivan will have to work for the privilege of having sex again.
“I'll have to find a way to change your mind.”
Ivan has always been too convincing, it won't take more than a few words for him to tempt Till into sex again.
He could speak. Till could say something like I won't ever let you go again or I was so lonely without you it hurt, but instead he presses even closer against Ivan. He's sure that he can make his feelings known without words.
Ivan leans down to kiss him one last time, and Till is sure he understands. Even if he doesn't, Till has plenty of time to make Ivan understand. They have an entire future now, stretching endlessly before them.