Chapter Text
“What’s with you, Cas?”
“I thought we already discussed this, Dean.”
“Yea, well. I feel like I got the condensed version. It’s like a light went out in you...”
Castiel chuckles, perhaps a little more than intended with the perpetual high he’s on. “That’s what I like about past you, Dean...” Castiel sat down and patted the mat in front of him indicating Dean should sit as well.
“What?”
“Take a seat with me, Dean. Talk.”
Dean glanced over his shoulder out the bead-strung covered door, slightly out of habit, but more out of uncertainty. This Castiel was so much different than the one he knew.
“Dean, I don’t bite.” Castiel crossed his legs and set his hands on his knees. “Unless you want me to.” he gave Dean a grin.
Dean glanced back a bit caught off-guard by the comment. This was Castiel, despite the high. He was still awkward, he was not his Castiel, but... it was definitely him.
“Yea... uhh...” Dean trailed off and stared out the door a few more moments before finally turning and moving to sit across from Castiel. “So, what were you saying?”
“I can bite if you like.” Castiel grinned ear to ear at the comment, he seemed amused at Dean’s discomfort.
Dean was relatively certain he was doing it on purpose, but it was hard to tell. He'd never seen Castiel high before. “Uh... before that.”
“Hm..? Oh.” Castiel smiled. “Because past you still cares.”
Dean’s brows rose at that... he knew future him was a little... off. But... “Has... do I really get that bad?”
Castiel’s head rolled back with a laugh and then looked back up tilting his head, a smile still on his face. “Oh, Dean.” He leaned forward taking one of Dean’s hands and gently patting it. “It’s like you said. Like a light went out. Sam...”
Dean looked at their hands when Castiel touched his, then looks back up. “Sam?” One name that would always have his attention. Sam was his responsibility, even if others tried to convince him otherwise. “What about Sam?” He knew something happened, but future him didn't really go into detail.
“When we lost Sam... It’s like nothing mattered to you anymore.” Castiel’s hand seemed to grip Dean’s on a subconscious level. He missed him. The Dean in his own time seemed to feel nothing. Seeing the light flicker in his eyes even if just once more... or even if it was just the candles being caressed by the wind... the flicker made Castiel happy. He was genuinely smiling and it for the most part, it wasn't the drugs.
“Cas...” He let out that drawn out sigh Castiel was very familiar with.
“Would you like some?”
Dean was certain Castiel meant drugs, but he was willing to drag out the distraction. “Some... what?”
“Absinthe. It’ll relieve the tension.”
“It seems to be doing wonders for you.” Dean glanced at his hand again.
Castiel smiled. “You know, I'm the only you have ever criticized about personal space, Dean. It makes me wonder.” Castiel let go of Dean’s hand and leaned over grabbing a bottle setting it down on front of Dean. “I made it myself.”
“Uh...” Dean breathed in raising his brow slightly and almost rolls his eyes. “Oh...”, He glanced at the bottle, blinking once as he looks back at Cas wondering when their talk went from ‘Sam’ to ‘personal space’.
Castiel reached putting both hands on Dean’s cheeks and smiling at him his head canting to the side as he admired Dean’s face. “You were always so expressive.”
Dean clears his throat trying not to make a scene out of Castiel touching him so much. “...So, what happened to Sam, Cas?”
Castiel shook his head. “In time, Dean.”
“Cas, I need to know. Come on....” Dean let out a frustrated grunt, if this was something he could prevent...
“Dean, you’ll know when the time comes. Why else would Zachariah send you here.”
“Cas, you’re beating around the bush.” Dean’s expression become more obviously annoyed.
“I learned from the best. Hm?” Castiel gave him a grin.
Dean let out a little huff and didn't say anything. He picked up the bottle Castiel had offered him. “For the road...” and stood up and moved towards the door.
“You put your life on the line. For everyone. Anyone you've ever loved. Yet, you can’t confront yourself...” Castiel slowly looked up from the spot Dean had been sitting and peering at the hunter. “Why?”
Dean stood at the door letting out another huff, this time more annoyed than the previous. He tightened his fingers around the neck of the bottle and stared outside through the bead-strung door very much not wanting to ask, but he doubted Castiel would let him walk out without a fuss. Dean gripped his free hand over his mouth in thought. It was pretty clear he was trying to tell him something. After what seemed like an eternity, he spoke. “What are you getting at, Cas?”
Castiel watched him patiently waiting for Dean to finally ask his question, smiling somberly when he finally did. “I fell for you, Dean.”
He turns looking at Castiel with a cocked brow. “Tell me something I don’t know.”
Castiel let out a small laugh which earned him another irritated look from his friend. “You know... you can be so... hmmm...” He pushed himself to his feet wobbling a bit before regaining his balance.
“Dammit, Cas. Just spit it out.”
“I already did, Dean.” He moved towards the hunter reaching up putting a hand on Dean’s shoulder. “I just didn’t know how hard.” Castiel did not wait for a reply satisfied with the confused expression on the hunter’s face, instead he pushed the beaded door out of the way and moved outside. His Dean would be returning soon, no doubt the entertainment factor between the two would be golden.