Chapter Text
Chapter 01 - The Leaving
Sunday, July 16, 2017
While shopping for groceries and supplies to stock their two weeks at the cottage, Shane’s mind drifted back to the first time they’d had anal sex and Ilya’s amusement at the ridiculously long strip of condoms he’d pulled from his nightstand drawer. The memory made him hesitate, the past embarrassment snuck up on him, blocking his brain from making a more logical choice. He tossed a single tube pack of twelve into his cart. Ilya brought condoms with him, too, but not many because Shane told him he was taking care of supplies. A week later, they used all the condoms, and Shane had no choice but to leave the cottage.
“I’m gonna run to the convenience store up the road,” he tells Ilya as they dry off from the shower.
Ilya loops his towel around Shane’s waist and hauls him close. “No,” he says in a low and rough whine. “I have plans.” He dips his head and buries his face against Shane’s neck. “Stay.”
“So do I,” Shane moans as Ilya’s stubble scrapes his sensitive skin and his silky cock rubs against his own. He wants to drag Ilya back to bed, his dick is chubbing up fast, and he’s dangerously close to giving in, but he can’t. “Uh uh,” he forces himself to say, and untangles himself from Ilya. “We used the last condom this morning, so both of our plans have to wait.”
Ilya pouts, drops his towel, and walks out of the bathroom naked, his ass swaying more than usual. “How did we go through so many?”
He groans and follows Ilya into the bedroom. “Do you want a recap?”
Ilya laughs as he turns back to face Shane, the sun shining on his body, highlighting the drops of water he missed, and his whole body glows. “I take a... what’s the word, reactment?”
“Reinactment.” Shane has no choice but to kiss him, which turns into him sinking to his knees and blowing Ilya against the windows the same way he had on their first day at the cottage. Ilya tries to reciprocate, and though Shane is hard, he waves him off. “It’s only five minutes away,” he says, avoiding Ilya’s grasp.
“But you’re hard,” Ilya says. “You can’t go to the store like that.”
“It’ll go down.” Shane starts dressing, pulling on an old, worn tee and a roomy pair of shorts, hoping what he says is true. He’s going to have to avoid looking at Ilya for the next few minutes, though. “I’ll pick up another case of Coke and anything else you want.”
“Some sugar?” Ilya asks, his tone uncertain. “I like it for my coffee.”
Shane contemplates the request and the many cups of coffee that Ilya has drunk during his stay, yet he has never asked for sugar. “Why didn’t you say something sooner? I could’ve gone to the store days ago.”
Ilya shrugs as he pulls on Shane’s flannel over his tank top. “Is no big deal.”
For some reason, that statement is a near-immediate boner killer. It bothers Shane that Ilya hasn’t asked for something so simple. Sugar is a staple in most homes, but since Shane doesn’t bake and takes his coffee black, when he allows himself a cup, he hasn’t bought any. “After all this time, we should know how each other takes their coffee.”
Ilya rolls his eyes. “You like your coffee black. I like mine with sweet cream and sugar.” He sits down on the bed and kicks his feet. “But I drink it black if there is none.”
Shane tried to make sure they would have everything they needed at the cottage before Ilya arrived, but now, between this and the condoms, he feels like he’s failed. He wants to be a good host; he even made a list and discussed it with Rose, but he thinks he probably should have just asked Ilya what he wanted. “Sure, I’ve seen you drink it black, but do you really like it that way?” He starts wondering if Ilya actually likes any of the food he has prepared, or if he hasn’t said anything about that either.
“Better than no coffee. You make this big deal, but it isn’t, Hollander.”
“What else have I missed?” Shane asks, walking toward Ilya, his anxiety rising. “Do you like the food I bought? Is there something else you want to eat instead?”
Ilya shakes his head and pulls Shane in by the hips and rubs his face against his crotch. “Nothing but your ass,” he says, and he squeezes Shane’s butt. “Or this,” he muffles into Shane’s crotch.
“Hmm.” Before they can get carried away, Shane drops to his knees and places a few featherlight kisses on the inside of Ilya’s thigh. “I will get you creamer too.”
“You got my cream already,” Ilya teases, tugging on Shane’s hair. “Might need five minutes before you get more.”
He laughs and stands, kissing Ilya’s nose as he does. “Only five minutes?”
“This how long it takes to get to store, yes?”
Shane runs his hands through Ilya’s wet curls, just as reluctant to leave as Ilya is to let him go. “To get there, yes, but I have to come back.”
“Okay,” Ilya pouts. “Too long.”
Shane cups Ilya’s face and tilts his chin up so he can look in his eyes. “Are you sure there isn’t anything else you want? I want you to have what you need here.”
Ilya’s hands snake up the backs of his thighs, skimming up under his shorts, and his fingertips tease the hemline of his boxers. “I do, Shane.” He shoves his head under Shane’s t-shirt and licks around his belly button, causing Shane to break out in goosebumps. “I do, Shane,” he says, pulling his head out to look at him. “Just here. Me and You.”
Shane slides down to his knees again and presses a soft kiss to the corner of Ilya’s mouth. “I want to take care of you, Ilya.”
“You are,” Ilya assures him, and then playfully pushes him away, nearly making Shane fall on his ass. “Now go so you can get back.”
Shane pulls on a t-shirt and takes the phone off the charger on his nightstand. He notices two missed calls and a few new text messages, but he pointedly does not look to see who they are from. He’d texted with Rose early that morning when he’d been waiting for Ilya to wake up from their after-sex nap, and he knew she was busy shooting, so they’re not from her. Anyone else who has tried to contact him is someone he is lying to, and he wants to ignore that as long as he can.
Ilya follows him through the house and to the front door, moaning about Shane leaving. “You’re so dramatic,” he teases. “If you think of anything else you want, text it to me. It’s a small store, and they don’t have a big collection of things, but I will get whatever I can for you.”
“I am fine here,” Ilya tells him, and opens the door for him.
Shane pecks a dry kiss on Ilya’s pursed lips as he squeezes between him and the door. “I’ll be back soon.”
“Okay,” Ilya says, elongating the word and looking pitiful.
“I will.” Shane chuckles as he steps outside and down onto the first step. “It’s barely a five-minute drive,” he assures, turning back to look up at Ilya.
“Okay, goodbye,” Ilya says, waving at him, his perfect lips pouting. “I love you.”
Shane grabs onto the flannel and pulls Ilya down so he can reach to kiss him. “I love you.”
He feels giddy as he walks down to the Land Rover, glancing behind him twice, and sees Ilya still standing in the open door, his eyes locked on him. Something monumental has just happened to Shane, something he hadn’t ever thought he would have. For other people, it likely would mean nothing at all. But Shane feels like a quiet miracle has just occurred, that the world, for once, has stopped asking him to fall in line, to go through the motions of a routine life. He feels overcome with the knowledge that he is allowed to take a piece of happiness for himself, that he doesn’t have to be brave and wait for it. Ilya said goodbye to him at his door. They exchanged I love yous and kissed, and Shane could hardly believe he was allowed to have that. He isn’t alone anymore. Their goodbyes won’t hurt the way they have in the past. Even with so much still in the way of them being openly together, he feels hopeful. A calm he isn’t used to feeling soothes over him, cooling the restless, heated anxiety he’s subconsciously carried for years. As he leaves the cottage behind, Shane realizes that, for once, leaving Ilya doesn’t feel like he is losing him, not knowing if he’ll ever have him again.
When he comes home, Ilya will be there, waiting for him.