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WE ARE CHARLIE KIRK

Summary:

I saw a slideshow made by a certain person and felt inspired

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The octonauts plus the Vegimals were in the main base, calmly drinking their coffee or milk or tea around a big table when Peso got a call from his mom.

 

“Peso, Charlie Kirk died.”

 

Kwazii, Dashi, Tweak, and the rest of the Vegimals snorted and tried not to laugh too hard. Professor Inkling smiled and continued sipping his tea since he's British.

 

“Wait, who's Charlie Kirk?” Peso asked.

 

“A ring-wing politician, I think he owns a ‘podcast’, I'm currently with your grandma, she keeps crying over him and I thought I should let you know also Pinto keeps singing the Charlie Kirk song and it's making your grandma mad."

 

“So that's who Charlie Kirk is?” Shellington questioned as Kwazii, Dashi, Tweak, and the Vegimals started to laugh.

 

“Suppose so.” Captain Barnacles said and continued drinking his tea because he's also British.

 

“Wait, keep your mom on the line. I'm calling me grandpa.” Kwazii said and dialed his grandfather's number.

 

“Grandpa!”

 

“Yes? What is it Kwazii?”

 

“Do you remember Charlie Kirk?” 

 

“Charlie Kirk, let's talk about him. He shoved me in the lockers when I was in high school.”

 

“Grandpa, you never went to high school, you had to get a GED.”

 

“He still shoved me into lockers.” 

 

“Wait, I'm calling my little sister!” Dashi said.

 

“And I'm calling my dad!” Tweak added.

 

“Get the other agents!” Ranger Marsh said over Tweak's phone after Tweak told him what's going on.

 

“I think I'll get my sister too.” Shellington said and called his sister.

 

Captain Barnacles got up and went over to the control panel and contacted the other agents.

 

“What's going on?” Min asked.

 

“Hey Kwazii!” Paani beamed.

 

“Hey Dashi!” Ryla said. 

 

“I'm sorry, what's going on?” Selva asked.

 

“I'd also like to know.” Professor Natquik.

 

“Yeah, me too.” Tracker said.

 

“Wait, where's Bud and Haraka?” Shellington asked.

 

“Maybe they're too busy,” Captain Barnacles suggested, “we'll tell them later.”

 

“Anyway, Charlie Kirk died.” Kwazii stated bluntly.

 

“Who is Charlie Kirk?” All of the agents questioned except for Ranger Marsh and Calico Jack.

 

“Right-wing politician who owns a podcast, he's an asshole.” Ranger Marsh answered.

 

“How did he die?” Paani asked.

 

“He got shot in the neck.” Professor Inkling responded.

 

“Oh, anyway, Kwazii would you like to hang out sometime?” Paani questioned.

 

Kwazii gave a thumbs up.

 

“Why are we having a whole debrief about this?” Pearl asked.

 

Shellington shrugged.

 

“Wait a second, Dashi, I think I saw one of your edits about Charlie Kirk and…Dean, Dean something.” Ryla said.

 

“Dean Withers?” Dashi asked.

 

“That's the guy.” 

 

“Who is Dean Withers?!” Selva questioned.

 

“Another political podcast owner, I think his left wing this time.” Calico Jack responded.

 

“I saw your edits too, Dashi!” Koshi added.

 

“Edits?” Captain Barnacles asked.

 

Tunip pulled out their tiny Nokia and ran over to Captain Barnacles to show him one of Dashi's edits.

 

“What is doomed yaoi?” He asked.

 

“Chipa chips chipa, chi do chipa!”

 

Captain Barnacles turned to Shellington for a translation.

 

"Tunip said it's basically when 2 guys are star-crossed lovers, he also says you'll love it." Shellington told him.

 

“Wait, I need to send you something!” Koshi said and Dashi got a message from her. She opened it to see a TikTok where someone had made a Dandy World's Charlie Kirk skin.

 

Dashi giggled and that caused Kwazii and Tweak to peek at what Dashi was seeing and they all began laughing. 

 

“What is it? Don't gatekeep!” Paani said.

 

“Hold on, I'll--I'll send it.” Dashi said and sent it to the group chat. 

 

All of the agents took the time to watch the edit Dashi just sent and there were different reactions, some were confused, some were stifling giggles, and some seemed to not really pay attention.

 

“I'm afraid I need to leave, my mother needs me.” Peso's mom said and hung up.

 

“I don't know how to feel about this um, I'm going to listen to Chappell Roan bye!” Selva said, smiled, and left.

 

Soon, the rest of the Octoagents left the call and everything was back to normal.