Archive of Our Own

It started with a flat tire. 

Well, it started with a lot more than that. Three weeks ago, Nancy made the bullheaded decision to drop out of college. Drop out. Nancy Wheeler, everyone! College dropout. 

The sky was still a light orange from the sunrise which shone against the metal of her little gray Camry. Said metal cooled her back from the rising heat of the early June sun as she slid down to the ground with tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. She buried her head in her arms, now wrapped around her knees, as she tried to figure out her next steps. 

She couldn't think straight, which was not like her and she knew this. But it was all piling up on her. She hadn't worked since dropping out and losing her gig in the school newspaper. Sure, she had a new job lined up at the herald in two weeks, which bless her heart was better than she could've even expected, but there was still something about the finality of it. The finality of throwing away the life plans she'd had since 15 and she decided she liked journaling. 

And ol’ Nancy Wheeler should've expected it. Everyone's life plan fell through the day that fucking gate ripped through their world. 

God. 

Nancy stood up to face the car, giving it a kick for good measure. Luckily, she knew how to change a tire, that much was a given, but she didn't have a spare with her. She could walk to a local mechanic and see if she could buy one or have her vehicle towed- but that would take hours and she'd need to be driving into Indiana by nine to make it to graduation. Not coming up with any better ideas, though, she made her way to a pay phone to call a tow- which was just about down the road, her one mercy. 

The pay phone… she could make a call. 

Nancy wasn't the only girl in Massachusetts heading down to Hawkins Indiana. 

She jumped into a sprint, throwing herself into the pay phone and only letting herself take one beneath before dialing a number she'd had memorized the day they moved into their dorms. 

One ring…

Two…

“Hello?”

“Oh my god Robin please tell me you're leaving for Hawkins soon.” She breathed out, praying thanks to any god out there. 

“Uh, yeah? I was just walking out, I figured you'd be gone by now, you've always been more- ah- punctual than I am.” She questioned.  

Nancy sighed, and turned to lean on the phone stand “I know, I know. But a tire burst on my car and if I don't leave now I won’t be quite on time. What are the chances you could… Give me a ride?” She bit her lip. 

“A ride? Nancy where are you, I'm already late are we-” Robin paused, took a breath, “yes, absolutely. I'm on my way.”

“You're a lifesaver,” she breathed with a laugh, “Morrison and 73rd, only a few blocks out of my apartment.”

“Pack your bags Wheeler, I'm on my way.”

The phone clicked and Nancy laughed again, relaxing against the pay phone. 

Nice save, Buckley. 

It took only ten minutes for Robin’s red jeep to pull up right at Nancy’s feet. She threw open the door to catch the gaze of Robin. She was dressed in a loose green top with a wide cut collar, along with tan shorts with large pockets tied with a green scarf through the beltloops. Perfect road trip attire, it suited the other girl.

“Your savior has arrived,” she chirped, throwing her a wink. Nancy smirked and tossed her duffel into the back of the car. 

She didn't say anything back until she parked herself in the passenger seat and shut the door behind her, “well I'm just lucky I can always count on you to keep until the last minute.”

“You ought to be more thankful to your chauffeur," she snarked, affronted, shifting the car to drive. “I am, after all, the one saving you from missing your only brother's graduation.”

“Well thank you Buckley, I'm sure my company will be payment enough.” She hummed. 

Robin laughed as the thirteen hour journey began. 

--

“So what have you been up to? We haven't hung out in months!” Nancy asked, pulling up a leg to face Robin. Nancy had on comfortable form fitting blue jeans and a white collared top, top three buttons undone and the ends tied at the waist which left a sliver of skin open as she propped herself up.

The girl in question pulled at the neck of her loose t-shirt. The neckline looked cut, as if she'd done it herself, and was falling off of her shoulder with the force of the wind coming through the windows. The three gold necklaces switched from tucking under her shirt just over her black bra to getting pulled out to lay loose across her chest.

“Same old, really. End of term has kept me busy- I've been studying up on my sound design since I'll be running Rockin’ Robin solo tomorrow.” She threw up a rock sign, waving it out the window for everyone to see. 

“Tomorrow? Wait, Jim’s giving you a block?”

“He couldn't refuse, I am the best radio host in all of Hawkins,” she threw out a non-driving hand with a toothy grin, “rockin’ Robin is coming back, baby!”

“Wouldn't miss it for the world.” Nancy teased. 

“What about you? How's Emerson going, I'm sure you've taken over the school paper by now, huh?”

Nancy pursed her lips. Instead of answering, she turned around in her seat to root for scone snacks. “Chips?” She offered Robin, who gave her a confused look and shook her head. 

With something in her hands to keep her distracted, she hummed, “it's fine. I've always been a good student so it's not that different from Hawkins.” 

Which was the problem, she supposed. It was draining, feeling just as she did three years ago, Senior year at Hawkins High. Head of the school paper, best in class. Never getting close to anyone because none of them could understand why Nancy cared so much about spreading truth and being right. 

It was like nothing had changed. She'd made friends, but none of them shared the same vicious drive that came from fighting for your life, your entire high school career and then some. Missing years of your life from being quarantined because some bullheaded officials who didn't care about the truth would stop at nothing to kill a teenage girl. Who basically succeeded, in the end. 

She didn't voice any of this, though. Even though the way Robin was sparing her quick, concerned glances was clear she didn't believe her. But how do you voice something like that? She hasn't been truly honest with anyone since breaking up with Jonathan. And neither of them had been honest their entire relationship. 

She still missed him though. The idea that someone would follow your lead and trust you even if things were uncertain. Bouncing scenarios off of someone who knew how your brain worked. She wished he'd been closer, they were gearing up to be such close friends even after everything but… distance is one killer of growth it seems. 

Hey,” Robin snapped a finger in front of Nancy, “I can hear you thinking. Gonna share with the class?” 

Nancy scoffed, but she knew Robin wasn't being rude. The way her lips pressed in thought and the wrinkle between her eyes creased from the concern radiating off of her. She tucked her leg closer as she stared out the windshield. I-84 and its stretches of rolling hills showcasing the bright summer green that covered everything. It reminded her of home; everything in Boston was so busy, and don't get her wrong she loved it and she could see herself growing a career there, maybe even settling down. But…

“Doesn’t it ever feel banal? How I'm wasting my time and money learning things I already know? Everyone's just- following along. I should be actually doing something, not just learning what everyone else did.” She admitted, frustration from the last year leaking out as she spoke. “Considering… everything, I just feel like I'm on a different track than everyone else but I don't know where it's headed or how to steer and no one can help me.”

Another pause, and Nancy tilted her head to see what Robin was thinking. Her fingers drummed on the wheel and the air through the cracked windows blew through her waves. Long hair suited her. 

“I mean- I get it. I'm friends with so many people, more than I ever have which is frankly-amazing, but there's always that feeling that you- that nobody will ever get all of you. Even with Vicki and how she finally understood. I just couldn't really share all of it. It felt too…”

“Distant?” Nancy offered. Robin snapped her finger with the revelation. 

“Yes!” She turned to Nancy with a grin, “distant. That's probably…” her smile fell and she shrugged, looking back at the road and the sky, “probably why we didn't work out.”

“Oh.” She felt at a loss for words. She had guessed, on a distant level, that she and Vicki hadn't kept up. Just based on the few times she and Robin had met for drinks to catch up. This confirmation felt… finaling, somehow. 

Before she could say anything further, Robin huffed a laugh, “but that's all in the past. Besides, we're about to meet up with a ton of people who do get us. They understand. I mean, we do, right?” She pointed back and forth between her and Nancy, which actually made her laugh. Why hadn't she hung out with Robin much before- sure they were two hours away but they were surprisingly similar. 

So much so that Nancy didn't hesitate when she  said “completely, Robin. I think we really do get each other.”

“Incredible.”

They were now six hours into their trip and Robin had made the executive decision that they must stop for lunch. And while Nancy would've liked to get to Hawkins sooner rather than later, chips and packed grapes couldn't hold her for long. Plus, they were making pretty good time. If she was late for dinner that wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. 

So here they were in Buffalo, New York of all places, eating in a nice diner by the lake. It had pale red walls and silver metal detailing with every window. It was cute, but spacious, which meant being relatively empty there wasn't anyone around. They were sitting in the sunroom section, round glass walls going all the way up to the ceiling. If Nancy was going to be in a beautiful city she was going to get at least a bit of a view before they rushed out. 

They were talking over burgers and fries, which Robin felt the need to steal a few from her plate, which then descended into dry thievery as Nancy started eating fries off of Robin’s plate. 

She wasn't sure why she'd never gotten close to Robin. Sure, she had been busy with Jonathan; and while they could joke with each other over the shared stupidity of boys, they hadn't had the chance to grow a substantial friendship. But Robin made a really good conversation partner. 

The drive hadn't been boring at all, Nancy had hardly touched the book she'd brought with and Robin had hardly gotten sick of talking. They had a lot in common. School, the drive to learn, hobbies, food… hell, even philosophy. They bounced off each other so well. Nancy would go on a tangent without even realizing and Robin would listen so well, jutting in at just the right spots to give her own opinion, building off of her ideas. It was a breath of fresh air compared to talking to people who didn't care for Nancy's intensity. 

“And I was like, ‘god it's not my fault I talk so fast. Maybe you just have to keep up better’. Which was not the right thing to say to a girl you had planned on asking about before that conversation. In my defense, it was rude of her to even ask me to slow down the way she did.” Robin complained, telling a hilarious story of trying to get close to a girl she shared a math class with, “she was too short though, it probably wouldn't have worked out.”

“Wow, got a thing for taller women?” Nancy teased. 

“Not necessarily!” Robin pushed back, throwing the fry she was holding back onto her plate. The fry she stole from Nancy, mind you. “I like being the taller one, but she was like- Four feet tall, and I'm 5’9 it just wouldn't have worked.” 

She laughed, unable to picture that hilarious image without choking, “well either way I don't blame you- she felt way too condescending. I keep up with you just fine!”

“Exactly!” She exclaimed, gesturing wildly towards her, “it's not impossible! So that's why I didn't have a date to the party so I didn't even bother going. I got some food with my roommate and we caught a movie instead.”

Nancy raised her eyebrows, “oh yeah?”

She snorted, “nah, she's straighter than a ruler. She's gone through five guys and every single one had to have arms larger than my head. She can tell some funny stories. I know way too much about penis’ now, unfortunately.”

“They're not that impressive,” Nancy agreed, “I was wondering, actually… and feel free to shoot me down if it's a downer, but why didn't things work out with you and Vicki? You guys seemed so tight before college.”

Robin sipped on her coke in thought, something Nancy found very mature of her. She thought about her words before going off on her rambles. She very much still talked a lot but it felt more measured and less impulsive. 

“Well, that's just it. We were way too similar. Being the only two gay girls in town meant it was kind of…. inevitable. So we didn't break up very easily. It was almost like we were trapped, like we weren't allowed to break up.”

“That's kind of how it felt with Jonathan,” Nancy admitted, “I didn't work out with Steve, obviously, and he went through all of the upside-down stuff with me from the beginning. Breaking up with him almost felt like a betrayal.” 

“Yeah…” Robin sighed, “I really did like Vicki, I probably loved her, but we both were overbearing and I wanted to leave Hawkins and she wanted to stay at the hospital and be a nurse. It ended pretty dramatically. I didn't get out of bed for a week.” 

Nancy leaned forward to catch Robin’s gaze, “I'm so sorry,” she murmured, “i… wish I'd been there for you.” 

She smiled at those words, “don't be. I hadn't even come out to you and Jonathan yet, and Steve really helped pick me off my feet. I feel like it worked out in the end. I mean, that's why I ended up hanging out with you, Jonathan, and Steve all summer.”

“Those weeks were crazy,” Nancy sighed. After things started settling after the upside-down collapsed, but before they had been able to go to college and move on. Hell, she barely managed to keep her admission to Emerson after being quarantined for over a year. Luckily, when you were stuck in a military base camp more fortified than Area 51, you had a good excuse. 

“Too crazy. I miss it sometimes, the gang and everyone. It was nice to have a group.” 

Many coffee, and they fell into a comfortable silence as they finished eating. 

“So-” Robin started, “we've gone over my failed and empty love life during college. How about you? Has anyone caught your eye?”

She smiled despite herself, “worse than yours. I haven't even bothered.”

“Oh come on, you're the hottest girl in Boston, I mean with that haircut alone? Any guy would fall over to date you. Or any girl for that matter.” She pushed, face flushing from the frustration. 

“I mean- sure I've been asked out, but I don't… didn't have time for that. Besides, we were just talking about how nobody gets us. I couldn't even date Jonathan and he understood me more than anyone. How could some Boston guy whose dad paid for college be any fit for me.”

Robin huffed, “fair. But not even any hookups? I told you about Lucy back in fall, surely you've had some excitement.”

She shrugged, “I mean, sex is nice I guess, but it gets so boring. Why would I go through the trouble of convincing a guy to wear a condom for the most mediocre sex and then leave before morning. It's all the same.”

She narrowed her eyes at her, trying to gauge… something, “I mean, not to get too personal but like…. have you had any good guys? I mean I've never been with a guy but there's more to sex than… uh…. penis.” 

Nancy choked on her soda, almost spilling it out of the drink with shock, “Robin!”

“I'm just saying!” She put her hands up defensively, “I mean, I don't get any penis and I've had great sex. Has anyone ever gone down on you?”

Nancy kept laughing, though her blush was spreading to her entire face. I'm a diner no less. They were so lucky it was relatively empty. “I mean like… once or twice, Steve was… good at it I guess? But I didn't really care to- yknow.”

Robin snorted, “Nance, I love you, but have you ever considered women?” She joked, “trust me you have not lived until you've had someone go down on you properly.”

Nancy leaned forward and met Robin's eyes, “what, are you offering?” She teased. 

Robin sat up completely straight, flushing from face to neck, “I was just- I was just saying- I mean- you haven't-”

“I'm teasing Robin,” she interrupted. “Besides, we should probably get going soon.”

“Right- right, of course,” Robin waved a hand to flag the waitress, “sorry I got a bit personal. I always- I mean you know me.”

“Hey, don't worry, you were fine.”

Nancy averted her eyes. That's what you talk about with your girl friends anyway. Sex and guys and teasing, they were close enough to do that. 

Robin was a pretty girl, her hair, her shoulders, the way her slender hands always seemed to be doing something. She was just teasing because Robin was pushing so much. 

Robin was still blushing as they left the diner, and Nancy nudged her arm to comfort her as they made their way to the jeep. “I hate to be leaving so soon, it's such a beautiful city.”

She sighed, “yeah. Plus the Niagara Falls are like right there. Though if we want to make it to dinner we don't have time.” 

Nancy furrowed her eyes, “wait the Niagara Falls are in this town?”

“There were signs everywhere, how did you not see? This is like the ultimate tourist destination.” She turned to Nancy and gestured at one of the several signs on the road giving directions. 

God, how did she miss it? She had been watching Robin figure out where to eat as the drove through the town, listening to her go over pros and cons of everywhere they passed and commenting on the little things she noticed on the way, like a cute dog or a garden. 

“Robin we have to go see it,” she grabbed her arm and pulled her to the direction of the park, “I've always wanted to go- it's on my bucket list and everything.”

Her eyes widened in panic and she checked her watch, “if we leave now we won't even get bro Hawkins till seven. I thought you were the punctual non-impulsive one?”

She put her hands on her hips, “have you met me Buckley? I'm the most impulsive person in our group. Besides, who cares if we get back late. The ceremony isn't till twelve we can sleep in.”

Robin bit her lip, “I mean, since we have the time. But you can't blame me if your mom freaks out.” 

“I can handle my mom Rob, come on.” She asserted, grabbing her hand and pulling them toward the park entrance a few blocks down. 

She didn't let go as they made their way through the entrance, Nancy paying the fee to get onto the lookout, and kept their hands together as they started rounding the corner. 

Nancy had a bad habit of pushing away complicated feelings. Focusing on the matter at hand or whatever monster they were fighting instead. But she couldn't help but think about the way Robin’s hands were soft against hers, thumb brushing back and forth. It was easier to see that Robin was a few inches taller than her now that they were side by side as well. 

She didn't even realize they had turned the corner to see the waterfall until Robin's mouth had opened with a gasp and her hand squeezed hers. She was hardly able to turn away from the eyes shining with amazement and wonder, but was very glad she did because wow. 

The Niagara Falls were huge. Bigger than she'd ever imagined. She had seen impressive views, considering they looked down on the entire upside down from a radio tower before literally climbing up into another planet. But this? Trees and fresh water and birds coming together in such a beautiful picture. 

She laughed, muted from the roar of the water pouring down. The air was misty and fresh and everything smelled so clean. She glanced back up at Robin who was now meeting her gaze. 

“Isn't this amazing?” She had to yell.

“Absolutely incredible,” Robin replied, “let's see if we can get closer.”

They made their way down the lookout, giggling at the way the mist only grew stronger in the air. It was so clean. So beautiful. 

The two of them leaned on the iron fence stopping them from going any further. Nancy closed her eyes so she could feel the water on her skin and could smell the water. She couldn't help but shiver, even with how warm the sun was around them. 

She felt an arm settle around her and pulled her closer. She opened her eyes to glance at Robin, who was fully focusing on the falls but whose hand brushed against her upper arm and keeping her warm. 

Why was Robin getting so close? They'd never been physically affectionate before. Hugs saved for life threatening moments and surviving near death experiences. But when Robin started to pull away Nancy felt herself settling closer, leaning against her side and letting her arm stay around her. 

She smiled. This was a good decision. A moment she'd never forget. 

Nancy was driving now, having to argue with Robin before she let her. It was only fair- and besides, she liked driving.

“I still don't understand extracurriculars. I'm paying to study linguistics and learn new languages and how we developed the way we speak and write. But no, I have to waste my time on math of all things. Math! Why am I doing calculus, I thought I was done with that in highschool.”

“Do you want me to answer that question?” 

“No. My advisor told me all about ‘keeping my brain fresh’ and ‘math makes you learn better in other subjects’ when I first complained. And the second and third time I complained. But god, this is going to ruin my GPA.” 

“I don't blame you, I’m reliving our Creel visit every time I sit through a psych class. I like psychology but it's so boring and the professor totally reminds me of the head of that mental institute.” Nancy shivered. 

“Eugh,” Robin groaned, "y'know the worst thing about that day? The dress. Like yeah sure everything else sucked except when I got to make a cool ‘women empowering’ speech. However, that dress was awful and I still cannot believe you made me wear that.”  She complained, sketching absentmindedly in the notebook she'd propped on her lap. From the quick glances she could make out the sketches were turning into the institute building. Pillars and brick and expansive gardens with white clothed prisoners. 

“In my defense, it completely worked,” Nancy pushed. 

She snorted, “God and you hated that it did. Man, you did not like me back then. Like sure I was annoying but it was like my very presence was grating on you.” 

She cringed, taking an awkward breath through her teeth. “I'm so sorry, I was such a dick.”

“No, no, I get it!” Robin backtracked, sitting up, “you had everything going on with Jonathan and Max was in danger and everyone gets stressed when we're in mortal danger. Plus, I was incredibly awkward.”

“Still- I shouldn’t have acted like that, I knew better. You’re like, one of my closest friends now, it sucks that I didn’t appreciate you then.”

A pause, and Nancy glanced back over to see Robin with the saddest smile she’d ever seen. “What?” She threw out a hand to gesture at her… face.

Her words were stilted, almost hesitant as she explained, “Nancy, you don’t understand how sad that sentence is. We hung out during the summer trying to process our trauma, hardly saw each other for a year, and have talked more today than we have in three years.”

Nancy threw a look at her, then back out the windshield with a glare. Excuse her, she was trying to be nice and she’s being told she’s incredibly sad she didn’t make friends. She didn’t respond, trying to form her thoughts but everything was rushing through her head way too fast.

“Nancy that’s not what I-”

“It doesn’t matter,” she cut in, “you’re right, it’s sad. My bad for being honest I guess.”

Robin tried to put a hand on her arm but Nancy shrunk back, “I’m sorry that came out completely wrong- I appreciate-”

“Like I said, it doesn't matter.” She said, making her sit back in the passenger seat and fiddling with her notebook.

She was being unreasonable. Childish, even. This was how she acted with Jonathan whenever he didn’t agree with her. It was one of the reasons they didn’t work out. Nancy couldn’t handle being wrong and Jonathan had a stubborn empatheticness about him where he wouldn’t change his mind but would go along, making her feel guilty and unsure. She hated it. Hated the feeling. And now she was treating Robin, who meant nothing wrong, the same. The girl in question who’d been switching from staring out the window to trying to make forlorn, apologetic eye contact with her.

Unfortunately, Nancy was mature enough to realize that Robin was right. A full year and she had zero meaningful connections in college. She had people to study with, could make conversation with seat partners, even managed to go out for coffee once or twice. But Nancy wouldn’t miss a single person if she left.

Which she did. It felt like running away from her mistakes. Maybe she should stop doing that.

“I dropped out of college.” Nancy said, breaking the silence. Robin sat up sharply.

“You what?” She turned completely toward Nancy, who was resolutely staring out the window.

“I dropped out.” She repeated, “I couldn’t handle the uselessness, the feeling I was accomplishing nothing. The professors that acted like I was crazy when I talked about researching conspiracies and the government. The people who just didn’t care.” She spit out, the frustration from the last three weeks crashing out of her as intense as the falls they just saw. “I needed to do something so I… I left. That was the first time since going there I felt like I finally made a choice.”

A beat. Nancy had to wipe her eyes so she could still drive before she started actually crying. She had a plan, she had a job, she had everything lined up but why did it still feel like a failure.

Everything went by so fast after that day. 

“All of my problems just go back to that damn day when the gate opened. I thought I was so unique in high school, when I decided I wanted to go to college. I had plans, go to school, get a nice job, marry a nice guy nothing like my dad, and have one or two kids that would be just as successful and kind as I would. And now I’m doing just that but I feel like I’m just doing what’s expected of me.”

“You feel trapped,” Robin said. Nancy turned to her, still trying to keep from crying.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“I get it,” she said slowly. “When I was a freshman I felt just the same way. I felt like the walls were closing in and I was just doing what was expected and saying what I was supposed to say. It was so draining.” She curled her arms around herself as she reminisced. “It’s different from your situation but I… I knew I was different from the other girls my age. It took me months to realize why; but that pressure and feeling like I was doing nothing with my life. It was a lot.”

Nancy sniffled, embarrassingly, “that’s when you…”

“When I realized I liked girls. Again, nothing like your situation, but even after I realized I still felt so trapped. I couldn’t run away like you did so I just hid. I pretended I liked guys and joined band and hung out with other weird kids who I could at least be weird with. But even doing all of that I felt so… so wrong.”

“Walking into Emerson for the first time felt like I was running away from Hawkins, that I’d finally escaped,” Nancy murmured, “but it was like going back to high school. I was shouting into the void but I was trapped by everyone around me dictating how things are supposed to be. I’m still just… a girl in a man’s world.”

“Yup.”

They both sighed, settling back in to watch the road disappear. Robin put a hand on Nancy’s arm, “y’know, I know it’s anti-progressive to say this. But it would’ve been so much easier if we were born men.”

“I know right!”

“Every time I talk to Steve I’m like: You could be like, president of the united states and date Kelly McGillis and you're just teaching at a highschool.”

Nancy laughed fully at that, “oh yeah, Steve with Kelly McGillis? I can’t see it.”

“I cannot believe a man gets the privilege of being married to her, it's unfair.” She shouted, “why do men get everything?”

“Okay but Steve is great with kids, he’s going to be a fantastic teacher.” She hadn’t known he started teaching, but she’s not surprised. He always cared the most about the youngest in their group. 

Robin giggled, “oh yeah, way more than six little nuggets.”

Nancy gasped as she recalled that conversation. “Six! Can you believe he told me he wanted to have six kids with me? I love Steve but he does not know me if he thinks I would be okay with that many kids.”

“God, he’s such an idiot, that's why he’s my best friend.” Robin sighed, “do you think you’d ever have kids?”

Nancy drummed her fingers on the steering wheel in thought. “Maybe? Definitely only one, maybe two. But I don’t even know if I want to marry. Why would I purposely raise a kid as a single mom? I just don’t want to be… I don't want to be the Nancy Wheeler I thought I would be as a kid.”

“God, if I didn’t know any better I’d ask if you were even into men.” Robin joked, shooting her a smirk.

Huh.

Nancy didn’t respond to that, not even sure what to say, which wasn’t typical of her. Robin definitely took note of the silence and took a sharp breath.

Nancy sighed, “honestly, I don’t even know. I don’t know what I want anymore.” She stared out at the horizon, trying to feel the late afternoon sun on her face. She felt a hand on her arm.

“Hey, I’m not going to push, everyone goes at their own pace. But if you do have any questions, or someone to talk to or cry on, you know I’m always here for you. I always have been.” She told her, “I understand.”

She understood. Robin really did understand, even more than Nancy did.

“Thank you.”

Soon after that conversation, Robin declared another rest stop. It was starting to drift into nighttime, and they were trying to make good progress but they would not be making dinner. They opted for take-out pizza hut and sitting on the roof of the Jeep at a rest stop that Robin had raided, just east of Columbus Ohio.

It was still warm out, but the wind had a leftover spring chill to it which made her glad she’d brought a sweater, a soft light blue one, also dragging a light jacket out of the back of the jeep just in case. The breeze was still cold, and she could practically hear Robin shivering through her slice of pepperoni and the many pamphlets she had started sifting through.

Nancy slipped off her jacket and put it around her shoulders, giving her hair a little ruffle when she finished as well. Robin wrapped the jacket around herself silently, staring at Nancy with a flush.

“The stars are starting to come out,” she said, pointing out some of the larger ones and avoiding any mention of her coat. 

“Yeah, it’s- they’re beautiful,” Robin stuttered out. She glanced back at her and she hadn’t turned away from Nancy at all. She couldn’t turn away. She didn’t know what she was feeling, but it certainly wasn’t normal. This wasn’t how she looked at any of her other friends. Nancy felt her eyes wandering until Robin coughed, turning away.

“I never realized the upside down didn’t have stars until we discovered The Abyss.” she noted, "Obviously it was hard to sightsee when running for your life but- it’s one of the little things you don’t realize you miss until you’re there for too long.”

Nancy chuckled, “I wonder if the Abyss had stars- or if it ever got dark. I bet they would be so bright without any of the light pollution. I’ve always wanted to see the milkyway.” it was such a shame such a part of their world was dimmed by humanity. She hummed after a pause,

“Honestly, I don’t think I care to see it. The abyss stars that is.”

Robin snorted, “fair. Maybe it never got dark- I didn’t exactly see a sun while up there. And we did a lot of walking.”

“Shattered my childhood dreams of being an astronaut, how would I ever beat inter-dimensional space travel.”

“And nobody will ever know. Honestly, that’s the most bullshit part of everything. We saved the world, what, six times? And we get zero recognition. Just weeks of government interrogation and then they’re gone. I think I should’ve gotten a medal or something.”

“Like anyone’s going to believe in alternate dimensions.”

“Well that’s your job- you’ve always wanted to convince people that the lab was doing shady stuff, and you actually managed that.” She nudged Nancy, scooting close enough so their elbows brushed. “I always pictured you investigating all of the shady stuff we know is happening beneath our feet. Exposing all of the lies and stories we’ve been told and really stickin’ it to the man.” She threw out her arm into a flex as she said that, and Nancy found herself laughing again.

“Maybe. That’s what I want to do- I just hate it when nobody believes me just because I’m young, or a girl.”

Robin took her hand, “hey, I will always believe you. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wrong before so I have a good basis for my trust.”

“Well, I was wrong earlier,” she admitted, squeezing Robin’s hand, "I am lonely, and you were right saying it.” She let herself fall to the side, leaning on Robin, “I missed out on so many normal things, and that’s why I feel so out of place not wanting to be. I want to do great things and move on from everything- but I also just want to do stupid shit and cross things off of my bucket list too.”

They both went quiet, and Robin leaned into Nancy so they were now completely in each other’s space. Nancy felt so safe here, being held by Robin and watching the sky turn dark as the wind grew colder. She almost- she almost wondered if maybe this was what she was missing.

If maybe Robin had the right idea.

“Hey, you and I are both impulsive,” Robin started, grabbing one of the pamphlets she’d stolen, “there’s a zero light pollution area just an hour south of here. The John Glenn Astronomy Site. We could, uh, do just that. See the stars. Cross something off of your bucket list.”

The mature part of Nancy was telling her they still had three hours of driving to get to Hawkins. If they left now they’d probably get there at ten with enough time for a snack and a decent night’s sleep before tomorrow.

But the other part of her? The part that was still holding Robin’s hand and thinking things she’d shoved away her entire life? The part of her that wanted to say fuck Hawkins and just keep this roadtrip going on forever? That was the part of her that said “yes.”

Most of the trip had been spent talking with random radio music playing, but for this bulk of the journey, Robin had put in one of her cds and they were jamming out to her curated rock playlist. It was possibly some of the best fun Nancy had ever had.

It was fully dark, but hardly anyone was on the road, which meant when they pulled into the parking lot, they just grabbed each other's hands. Nancy had no idea who did first or… why they did. But it was nice doing that, being there with Robin.

They were about halfway down the trail (and don’t say anything about being in the woods at night, Nancy didn’t keep a handgun on her at all times for nothing, and Robin always had a flashlight and a knife in her car), when she felt brave enough to ask something she’d been thinking about all night.

“So… how did you know?”

Robin squinted at her, “how did I know what?”

“Um, how did you know you liked… girls?” She forced out.

A heavy silence washed over them, broken by the sound of their walking and the rustle of the forest and crickets.

“Well… I kind of always did. I didn’t like guys the same way everyone else did. They weren’t interesting to me. It took me a while to figure out that the way people talked about guys was always how I… how I thought about women.”

“Ah,” Nancy replied. Succinctly.

Robin dared another glance, “but attraction isn’t just one… one direction. I know people who go both- who like both, or neither, or something else. It’s a process, figuring it out. Sometimes it changes, even.”

She nodded, “so what if I’ve always found guys hot but… but I didn’t realize I also felt that way about girls until… I knew that was even an option.” 

“That can- yeah that’s definitely. That’s something that can happen.” Robin stuttered. 

Nancy opened her mouth to continue but that moment was interrupted as the forest opened up to a clearing, and their breaths were taken away. 

They had tried not to look up much so they wouldn't spoil themselves getting up here, but it was absolutely nothing compared to what they were looking at now. It was like the sky exploded above them. It was tinted a deep purple which blurred into blue and green the father she looks. The stars sparkled across, too many to even comprehend. When she focused she could see the light blues and oranges of the milkyway streak across the sky. Nancy couldn’t help but step forward so she could slowly spin around to see everything.

When she’d fully turned around she noticed Robin still standing by the edge of the treeline. Nancy couldn’t help but stare a the girl as she stared up in amazement. Her face shone with the reflection of the stars, and the wind swept her hair gently in the breeze. She was still wearing Nancy’s brown jacket, one of the sleeves had fallen off of her shoulder to expose the skin.

She was beautiful.

The thought shot through Nancy like a bullet. She knew she had been… thinking through some things today. And maybe she was moving fast.

But maybe Nancy had always guessed in the back of her head. It just took someone saying it to her straight to make her realize.

It seemed Nancy was wrong about two things.

She strode forward to grab Robin’s hands, startling her, and pulling her into the clearing to be fully under the light. They were inches apart, hands intertwined between them. She could feel Robin’s hands stutter in her grip and her breath come out short.

“Robin I-”

She was interrupted by Robin dipping down to catch her in a kiss, one of her hands leaving her grip to trail up her arm and onto her cheek. Nancy gasped, closing her eyes just as Robin pulled away. She couldn’t help but follow her as she let go, shocked by the suddenness.

“Nancy-” Robin gasped, trying to pull away, but Nancy squeezed her hand to keep her close, “I’m so- I shouldn’t have- without asking- I’m so sorry-” she was panicked, breathing hard, and Nancy who was suddenly so present and there, more than she'd ever felt with Jonathan or Steve,  wasted no time to solve her pain. 

And obviously, the fastest way to do that was by grabbing the collar of her shirt and pulling her back, locking them into a passionate kiss.

This time Nancy hand moved from her collar to loop around her waist to pull her even closer. Robin put a hand in her hair, gently pulling them closer. She sucked gently at the top of her lip to make Nancy gasp and press her tongue against her lower lip. The kiss quickly deepened, tongues grazing against each other as they moved in sync. Their bodies were completely pressed against each other, barely able to keep each other balanced with how they were leaning on each other. Nancy’s other hand trailed to her hair to tangle into the waves and pull at her scalp. Robin moaned into her mouth, whispering her name like it was a temptation.

And give in to temptation she did. Robin broke off to kiss at Nancy’s jaw, trailing down her neck and kissing any bare skin she could find. Nancy trailed a hand up the hem of her shirt to grasp her waist and thumb the edge of her bra.

It was a lot. So much passion and need at one time. It felt like a thousand years before Robin started pulling them backwards back to the trail- to the red jeep sitting alone in a dark parking lot. Nancy pressed against her as they silently made their way over, the longest five minutes of her life.

Robin pulled open the backdoor and without any warning, picked Nancy up and put her on the seat, pushing her into the car and crawling up with her, shutting the door. 

Any reason Nancy had left disappeared when Robin propped herself over Nancy, shoving her duffel to the floor of the jeep and ducking down into another kiss. The one in the park was a lot but this was so much more. So much longing and need escalated by her tongue tracing hers and a sharp bite to her bottom lip. Nancy had fully started exploring under Robin’s shirt, pulling out the tie at the waist so the hem fell loosely around her rather than just teasing the skin of her waist. She trailed up her slender body, squeezing at the hips and just under her chest and scratching gently at her back as Robin started tongueing at her neck again. Her thumb dared to dip under the bra to feel the softness of her breast before slipping behind to unclasp it so it fell off of her and was quickly shoved to the floor. 

Robin did the same, fondling her chest through her shirt, unbuttoning the few remaining until her shirt opened to her bra which was quickly removed. She explored Robin’s nipple, having never done something like this, but needing Robin to know how much she wanted this- wanted her to feel good, to give her everything she deserved and more for just being so good. She pinched, making Robin flinch above her, letting her hips fall so they were pressed against each other. 

Robin’s leg had been between Nancy’s, so this new position let her press her thigh into her pelvis. She moaned, grinding against her leg to feel some friction- any friction through her jeans. Robin laughed, hands moved to play at the hem of her jeans. With a glance up, and Nancy’s nod, she unclasped her belt and dragged the clothing down her hips, taking her sweet time in letting her fingers feel down her hips.

Now in just her underwear, Nancy could feel the friction of Robin’s hand dipping down to feel her up. Softly rubbing her through the fabric, but not enough. Nancy pulled Robin’s shirt over her head so she could tangle her hands in her hair, begging without a word to continue.

“Hey,” Robin whispered hoarsely, getting Nancy’s attention, “you sure?” 

Nancy huffed a soft laugh, “you’re the one who offered.” She said, reminding Robin of the diner conversation. Robin bit her lip and ducked down to kiss her belly just under her belly button, then started kissing down her pelvis as she pulled her underwear down. 

It started with a kiss, pressed onto her clitoris and held there as Nancy adjusted to the air on her and the feeling of someone so close. That much Nancy could remember. Because the rest was a never ending wave of pleasure. 

Robin licked up her cunt to spread how wet she already was up to her clit and started sucking at her, making Nancy shout as she pressed herself into her. Robin pushed her back down at the waist-holding her down, which should not have been as hot as it was. She alternated between licking and sucking at her clit, fingers tracing the edges of her hole and spreading her wetness.

Her legs, now wrapped around Robin, were fully shaking and she could barely keep herself present. Every time she sucked she could feel her hips start to thrust, only being stopped by Robin still holding her down

“Robin, robin, rob- fuck” she stuttered, unable to fully form her words as robin started lapping at her cunt like she was trying to taste every inch of her, “please”

The fingers tracing her hole suddenly thrust in, pressing so deep into her that Nancy saw stars. She gasped out a moan, fingers pulling desperately at Robin’s hair. She didn’t let up, pumping into her as she sucked at her clit until she couldn’t breath. She pressed a third finger into her, now pumping directly on the spot that made her head swim and pleasure rock through her body as she thrust her hips in time with her thrusts. 

She moaned Robin’s name as she came, still being held in place. Robin didn’t let up, lapping at her and sucking at her clit and thrusting until Nancy was begging, “oh my god, Robin,” it was so much pleasure it hurt, but she didn’t stop and Nancy didn’t tell her until an overwhelming shock made her shout as she came a second time in a minute.

This time Robin slowed down, fucking her through her orgasm and slowly cleaning her out with her tongue. Nancy used her hair to pull her up, meeting the girl with a kiss so she could taste herself on Robin’s tongue. She didn’t stop there, ducking down to take her breast in her mouth, suckling at her nipple to make Robin groan her name.

“Nance- you don’t-” she started, stopping when she nipped at her nipple, fondling the other with her free hand. 

“What can I do,” she demanded, bringing Robin into a hungry kiss, “what do you want me to do.”

Robin hummed, dragging the kiss into a slower one, taming Nancy’s desperation. She didn’t relent until she relaxed under her hold, going from tense and needy to loose under Robin’s wandering hands. 

Finally, finally she raised her head to meet her gaze, “if we leave now we won’t get to Hawkins till midnight,” she started. Nancy grinned when she realized where this was going. “We could get a motel, set our alarms to six, and fuck until we pass out?”

Nancy pressed forward, pulling them up so they were sitting, Robin shirtless and Nancy wearing just an open, short sleeved button up that kept her exposed. They were kissing, chests pressed against each other, “deal,” she murmured between kisses.

A long, long night later, a brief rest, and a three hour drive later, Robin pounded on the door of Steve’s apartment. He opened it with a glare but paused at the sight of his new guests.

“Weren’t you guys supposed to be here yesterday? Your moms worried sick,” he asked Nancy, “and you-” he pointed at Robin, “-were supposed to crash on my couch yesterday so you can imagine my panic when… When you didn’t.” He trailed off, eyes darting across the hastily applied makeup on both of their necks and their messy hair and the way the two were leaning against each other.

“Oh.” he said dumbly, making Nancy laugh, “ohhhh…” 

“Mind if we use your bathroom to freshen up before the ceremony?” Robin asked, pushing past him without waiting for an answer and dragging Nancy behind her.

Steve nodded before turning sharply and slamming the door behind him, “hey- hey! One at a time, do not fuck in my bathroom!”