Work Text:
Michael Wheeler is fifty three years old.
He is driving down the street to the local Walmart because he needs a new rose toy (thank you to my dear friend for suggesting that). "Local", of course, means thirty minutes away, because Hawkins, Indiana, has never been a large town.
Mike used to fantasize about leaving when he was a kid, but now he's older and he's content in the small town.
As he drives down the gravel road, Mike decides he doesn't fancy what song is currently playing on the radio. He just as he is about to change the station, the song cuts off and a familiar voice takes over the radio.
The voice is old and aged, but it's easy to recognize who it is.
"It's Rockin' Robin here, bringing you the Hawkins' radio station for the past few decades. Of course, I'm still rockin' just like ever before. And now I have a special song for an old friend of mine, I'm sure they know who they are! This song is sure to rock your socks off, so good luck, babe!"
The voice cuts out and the music starts. Mike actually enjoys it for a little bit. He's not paying too much attention to the song, but he's vibing to it regardless. Until he hears it.
When you wake up next to him
In the middle of the night
With your head in your hands
You're nothing more than his wife
And as you think about me all of those years ago
You're standing face to face with 'I told you so'
Mike's face scrunches. He doesn't like the song anymore, it seems. The song reminds him of Will. He hasn't seen Will in maybe forty years. Will probably has a boyfriend now, Mike is sure of it.
Mike has been flitting between relationships since El died not too long before he and Will parted ways. Nothing seems to stick. Even with El, Mike had felt like he wasn't truly happy. But when Mike was with Will, his best friend since kindergarten, he was happy.
Mike grips the steering wheel. He is fifty now. He last saw Will when he was, what, eighteen? No way Will remembers him. And if he does, surely he wants nothing to do with the closeted man.
The song continues playing, and by now Mike is sure Robin has to be playing it for him. They still talk sometimes, although very rarely.
In a moment of unthinkingness (totally a real word), Mike slams his first on the horn and veers off the road onto a dirt path. The path will lead to a different city nearby. The city Mike knows Will moved to.
Will is sitting at the kitchen table, sipping a beer and stroking his long gay beard because he too is an old man. His husband, Unnamed Epilogue Boyfriend, sits across from him. Will and Unnamed Epilogue Boyfriend have been happily married since it was legalized in the United States. Unnamed Epilogue Boyfriend is not very nice, because we all know that in Stranger Things, Will Byers never gets nice things. Will loves Unnamed Epilogue Boyfriend, though.
It's somewhat late in the afternoon when Will hears a loud knock on the door. "I'll get it!" He calls to Unnamed Epilogue Boyfriend, who doesn't give a shit.
Will opens the door and sees Mike standing there. It's been so long, and he looks so different, but it's still Mike. Will knows. Because the Wills have eyes.
"Mike?" Will asks, barely believing his gay eyes.
"Hey.." Mike starts.
"What are you doing here? Its been- here, come in first."
"Yeah so about that.." Mike steps into the house. "I'm actually here to come out."
"What?" Will asks gayly. Because he is gay.
"Yeah. I- I'm gay." Mike nods gayly. Because he too is gay.
"Wow, Mike, that's great news, but uhh-- why are you telling me?"
Mike gulps. "Well, Will, I lo--"
"Who's this?" Unnamed Epilogue Boyfriend asks from behind Will.
"Unnamed Epilogue Boyfriend, this is Mike, my old friend. Mike, this is my husband, Unnamed Epilogue Boyfriend."
Mike deflates a little. He knew Will had a boyfriend, but a husband? Aw shucks.
"What do you want?" Unnamed Epilogue Boyfriend asks meanly. He is mean.
"I wish to speak to Will," Mike replies.
"Fine," says Unnamed Epilogue Boyfriend.
Mike and Will step back outside. The door shuts behind them.
"Mike, what were you saying?" Will tilts his head, the same way he did years before when Mike said 'Friends? No thanks.'
"Will.." Mike takes a deep breath. "I heard this song on the radio this morning and it reminded me of you. I miss you. I miss you like I miss the clouds. I miss being friends with you. But I don't want to be friends with you. I want to be more. I... Will, I love you!"
Will is taken back. He gasps gayly before hugging Mike and kissing him like he is young again. "Mike, I've missed you so much! And I've always loved you!"
"But... But what about your husband?" Mike sighs. "Don't you love him?"
"Mike.. I only married him because he reminds me of you. All these years, I wanted you. But now I don't know what to do. He's mean, Mike."
Mike grits his teeth. "I'll deal with him." Mike reenters the house and squares up to Unnamed Epilogue Boyfriend. "Hey you!" He shouts. "Stay away from my boyfriend, you mouthbreather!"
Mike uses his gay powers to kill Unnamed Epilogue Boyfriend. Will hugs Mike gratefully and gayly. "Oh, Mike!" He cries. "I love you! Thank you so much! You've freed me!"
Mike grins. "Of course baby. I love you." He picks up a random fucking fetus that was in Unnamed Epilogue Boyfriend's corpse. He laughs. "So it mine, Will?"
"Yes," Will laughs too. "It yours."
They begin to make out and live happily (and gayly) ever after.
And somewhere out there, the ghost of Vickie is giggling with the alive and well Robin because this was their plan all along. Goddamn lesbians.