Chapter Text
The first thing you noticed was your head splitting, in a very inconvenient way, the pain so sharp it became nauseating. You wanted to wake up, you really did. But fatigue pulled you back, and your eyes stubbornly stayed closed like cement on a brick. Those things didn’t exactly help you.
It was quiet, well almost quiet, aside from one voice.
“My love? Are you-” That was the only thing you’d managed to make out through the haze. The unknown presence squeezed your hand, but you were already slipping back toward sleep.
You tried to respond, open your eyes, move your lips, literally anything, but your body wouldn't cooperate. You were so tired.
Warm fingers squeezed your hand. Someone brushed hair from your forehead. “I'm right here.”
Before you knew it, sleep claimed you again.
The next time you were somewhat aware, your eyes felt less like lead.
“...three days now. The doctor says it's normal, but...” The voice sighed. “I should have been there, stopped you from riding that day.” Then there was silence. “Please, please just wake up. I can't-” The voice broke slightly. “I can't lose you.”
You must’ve stirred because that unknown presence was in front of you again. You finally managed to open your eyes. The lights immediately blinded you, forcing out a whimper.
“Oh darling. Thank god, you’re awake.”
You saw a man smiling at you. He had black combed hair, dark skin and brown eyes that were very pleasant to stare at. His demeanour and clothes told you he must’ve been important in some way: a dark blue turtleneck sweater, followed by a dark grey checked blazer and navy trousers.
Why didn’t you know this man when he clearly knew you? Nor did you know why you were here, wherever here was. You’d come to realise you, in fact, did not know anything. Your mind was blank, empty.
You stared at him, searching his face for any spark of recognition. Nothing came. His smile faltered. The stranger noticed your unease and quickly let go of your hand. “Do you know where you are?”
Nothing, not even a slight hint appeared in your mind. You shook your head.
“We are in our estate.” Our estate? You didn't remember owning an estate.
You glanced around the room you were in. It looked very modern, expensive. It could have been someone else's bedroom, you suspected. Either way, it felt like something straight out of a magazine.
He continued asking questions, “Could you tell me what your name is?”
Again, nothing. You kept quiet. What else were you supposed to say?
He sighed. “The doctor had warned me this might possibly happen.”
What did he mean by that? What had happened to you? Why couldn’t you remember anything about yourself or your life?
He concealed his hurt barely and moved on, “I’m Koschei Blackwood, Earl of Haddington. I have been since 2021.” An earl? How on earth had you managed to become acquainted with an earl?
Koschei gave you an explanation so you couldn’t get any more confused, “I’m your husband. You’re Countess of Haddington.”
A countess. You weren’t sure you were a good fit for that. Who had earned the title from whom? It certainly hadn’t come from your side of the family. At least, that's what your instinct told you.
Still, you supposed you couldn’t exactly complain. Having a fine face for a husband was pretty nice, even if you would have liked to remember marrying him.
He continued, “Earlier this week you were involved in an accident.”
You couldn’t lie, that made you slightly panic. “What kind of accident?” Your voice sounded rough as you used it for the first time, in god knows how long. “Did anyone else get hurt?” you asked. “Was anyone with me?”
Your apparent husband helped you sit up and handed you a glass of water. “You were riding a horse, all alone. It panicked and you hit your head quite badly. You were unconscious for several days. Your doctor said there was a possibility you’d develop amnesia. I suppose that’s where we stand now.”
So what, you just weren’t going to remember anything ever again? What an efficient way to ruin a marriage, you thought.
You were careful in your wording, “If I’m really your wife, I have to apologise… I… I don’t remember you.”
“Nonsense. It’s out of your control,” His expression softened, “This means it’s an opportunity to start with a clean slate if we don’t recover your memories. The only thing we now can do is to create new ones together.”
You felt your cheeks warm slightly. “That is, if you’d allow me to, of course,” Koschei added, looking hopeful.
You couldn’t quite explain it, but it felt right, him being your husband. Your gut feeling told you to trust him. Trusting him felt like the only familiar thing in a world of everything new. You didn’t see why you couldn’t rebuild a life with him.
You nodded.
He was considerate, only wrapping his fingers around yours when you didn't pull away. His thumb traced circles on the back of your hand.
He wasn’t going to hurt you, you knew that much. So why shouldn’t you just trust him? And you had no choice but to believe him. For now it looked like you had to navigate through this unfortunate situation. Hopefully your memories reappeared sooner or later.
Koschei said, almost like a prayer, “It’s okay, you’re okay, everything will be okay.”