Chapter Text
For as long as she remembered, Columbina had been addressed as ‘‘Your Highness’’, a title she was never able to fully grasp. She was told of many stories about how the princess’ birth was the grandest celebration of them all, how the heiress was destined to bring about a new world in her rule. Praises would be sung to her name, gifts would be presented to her hands, ‘’Her Royal Highness’ benevolence knows no bounds’’ would fall from their lips with their heads bowed; yet no one seemed to address how all Columbina did was accept their kindness.
She came to realize that the eyes revealed the truth, not the mouth. They shone brightly when servants talked to their families, when nobles passed by a mirror; the spark would dim when their gaze fell upon the princess. Their smiles never reached their eyes. Their bodies were tense. Soon enough, the heiress came to the conclusion that they didn’t hold affection for her. It was a mix of reverence and fear, perhaps the former a result of the latter. They were scared of her even though the princess had no intentions of harming them, she only followed the etiquette lessons she had been receiving. A couple times she tried to reach for the maids’ arms or shoulders but all she felt was a shiver followed by immediate acts of service. She saw that they didn’t have the ears to hear her wishes. ‘’Do not be afraid,’’ carried no meaning for those who wished to be so.
Every year on her birthday, her mother would call her to the throne, wearing the distant expression that never fell despite stroking her hair. She would lean down for a cold kiss on her forehead, only to repeat the same words that remained unchanged for twenty years: ‘’You can not rule alone.’’
‘’Why, you rule alone,’’ Columbina would ponder. Her mother would retreat her hand back to her lap. ‘’I never did, she is always in my heart,’’ the daughter would be told; yet she could never believe her, the eyes devoid of any warmth companionship was told to bring. The heiress would leave with yet another tiara that came once every few years, the foretelling of more responsibilities.
The headpiece felt heavier than its weight after her twentieth birthday. She was told to finalize a decision amongst the nobles for her hand in marriage. The following day, a notice for dual sovereignty to be bestowed upon the chosen candidate was issued. Columbina‘s training became less frequent, replaced with continuous visits from others. The trembling bodies gave their place to fancy words and sharp smiles.
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Columbina had sat down for afternoon tea; a prince from a foreign kingdom whose name she didn't care enough remember on her right, Lady Sandrone of House Guillotin on her left. Others presented her with china of their finest craftsman, finalized by the prince handing her a box with a silver necklace inside.
‘’Oh, I am sure it will look beautiful on you. Do you want me to help you put it on, Your Highness?’’
‘’Your offer is much appreciated, Lady Sandrone; however, I would like to help Your Highness myself as the owner of the gift. Perhaps you could present your own in the meantime?’’
‘’I have no need to flatter Your Highness, Prince Cyrus. I have already given her my love.’’
‘’What meaning do feelings hold if not supported by actions, Lady Sandrone? Gifts are the physical manifestations of love. Will you really leave Your Highness in doubt of your affections?’’
Before the banter could go further, the heiress lifted her hair from her nape for the woman to put on the present. As she faced him, the prince gave her a polite smile in an attempt to mask his irritation. Thanking the lady, the princess kept watching silently as the others went on with their conversation.
Lady Sandrone was the daughter of the duke who held power over the duchy near the capital. Being the same age, she had been present in Columbina‘s life from early castle visits to attending the Royal Academy together. She then stayed by her side once more with the official reason being further service to the crown, yet she had long been honest with the heiress about wanting to be wed for a beneficial marriage. The princess had many memories of her; from her carefree smile in the light blue skirts to the forcefully turned up corners of her mouth in black dresses. One summer vacation before their adolescence years, the excitement of being the future duchess was abandoned for the expectation of being Columbina’s wife. Yet even as she changed, she had remained one of the few constants of the young girl’s life.
She kept a refined act in public as one of heiress‘s suitors. For her influence and wits, she was highly favored by the Royal Court to be the heiress’ future spouse. Though, in private, she could hardly be bothered. The young lady would question the crown princess’ acts, express annoyance for her behavior and would degrade her to her face. In spite of such ugliness, the heiress was not bothered. She was fond of Sandrone, both for her audacity and independence. No matter how she treated Columbina, she was still certain that the princess would make her her co queen at the end of it. Unbeknownst to her, the reason was not Sandrone’s influence but how she didn't treat her with reverence.
As the suitors tried their way of charming Columbina, the duke’s daughter only broke her silence for condescending remarks. The heiress rested her chin against her hand, growing more and more bored with the insincerity and compliments of the nobles. Her eyes eventually drifted to the lady next to her, switching from Sandrone’s dramatic curls to the hands she neatly folded on her lap. They would twitch at times. Columbina could only guess the pressure she was under by her father, being raised with the intention to marry the princess without being given another choice. She was in the same situation, maybe that was why she felt more drawn to her than any other. For a reason she was yet to know, her heart would pang when the lady’s blinking slowed down. Maybe if she chose Sandrone, she could keep feeling it. The pain told herself she was not unfeeling like the world wanted her to be, that she had a gift she could give to a heart that would soothe rather than scare. An expectation she had once put on a young girl’s shoulders would be lifted in apology for any head that was forced to bow for her.
If only education would teach to heal, not to conquer.
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Away from the prying eyes, past midnight, the princess sat down by a tree. Most of the windows showed nothing but darkness. She liked watching the world keep going without the fear of her, when she didn’t invade anyone’s peace. She would keep observing until the cat by her side would choose to go back to its home instead of a stranger’s company.
An older sister held her younger brother’s hand as they watched the moon together. A butler looked at the Northern plateau ahead, covered in snow all year round. Two maids shared a kiss while holding one another. A woman walked away from the window as her shoulders trembled. A lord enjoyed a glass of wine with his wife. A lady sketched the scenery.
In a land that bounded people together, Columbina couldn’t escape thinking her existence divided them.