Chapter Text
Kou holds Mitsuba on the edge of the building, Kou already realized of the fake world he had been trapped in by the little pink ghost in front of him. One single step backwards and it could lead Kou to his death in this dream world.
“Do you want me to die..?” Kou —unknowingly— asked. “Then I can be with you forever.” The strawberry blond stared empathetically towards Mitsuba, you could hear the smaller voice hitch as he breathed in. Mitsuba looked back at Kou with slight tears in his eyes from the absurd question and the emotional connection only a little earlier.
Mitsuba sees Kou’s eyes, strong and determined. Something in his head tells him that there's more to what he’s saying. That there’s something that could go very wrong no matter his answer. No well-minded person would ever willingly die for a ghost. There has to be something else going on. Mitsuba thinks he could handle what it could mean if there wasn’t.
Snapping Mitsuba out of a train of thought and silence, Kou takes a quick step back, pulling him and Mitsuba off the ledge before he could even respond. Mitsuba looks down and sees Kou with the biggest grin he had seen from the blond in a little bit. Kou shouts to Mitsuba, “we’ll figure out how to become regular humans together! Ok, Mitsuba?!”
Mitsuba couldn’t fucking breath. There was absolutely no way this idiot just pulled them down a 30 story building. Either that would kill him IRL, or just in here and would make the plan super difficult for him and Hanako. Was that what he wanted then?
Mitsuba extended his spine scarf that he had due to becoming one of the wonders and helped break his and Kous fall. Luckily they ended up crashing into bushes, not soft but definitely not a sidewalk splatter. They were ok and alive.
Sitting up, all Kou could say was a very confused “what..?” Kou and Mitsuba’s eyes met and just before Mitsubas angry rant, Kou interrupted. “didn’t you want me to stay forever..?” The shock and confusion plastered all over his voice. But underneath mitsuba heard a concerning tone of disappointment and sadness. The pieces of a bigger picture about Kou were slowly unraveling to Mitsuba and it only proved more concern than what a person should ever feel.
Once Mitsuba got his shit together, he got to go on the screaming rant towards the stupid idiot that almost killed himself.
“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??! YOU KNOW THAT FALL COULD'VE KILLED YOU RIGHT?? RIGHT?!! WERE YOU TRYING TO GET YOURSELF KILLED? YOU'RE SUCH AN IDIOT YA KNOW THAT????”
They sat silently until Kou opened his big mouth and started yelling back. Being a dumbass and blaming Mitsuba. back and forth banter filled the empty area, the two teens just trying to get at each other for everything that just went wrong in the past 10 minutes. After they decided they got everything out, you could hear a quiet and pitiful sigh from Kou. “I just.. I thought that if I were in your shoes.. then i could understand you a little better.”
“.. sorry”
Kou now lays in his bedroom staring out the giant window beside his bed. He looks over to the other side to an alarm clock he has on a small table. “1:03” there aren’t any lights throughout the entire neighborhood and everyone has been fast asleep for hours now, but Kou. Good chance his older brother Teru is awake though, studying or training.
His sleep schedule must be even worse then Kous at this point, but in a way, he feels connected with him due to that. Not even close to being tired, Kou looks around the room to try to distract himself. His mind wanders to a certain pink headed ghost he’s had a lot of encounters with. His mind rushes to the night he threw himself off the building for him. “Wtf was i doing? Why would i do something so reckless.”
for the rest of the night, that day was the only thing he could think about. Not even getting back to the real world, only mitsuba. He had sacrificed himself to be with him- he could’ve died! What would the family think..? Would they even think differently at all? If he became an apparition, they would try and exercise him of course, but he was family. Couldn’t he just say “hey I won't hurt anyone, chill.” Then Teru leaves him alone?
It’s weird thinking about how such deep connections he knows wont stay if he goes against them in the slightest. He wonders if that’s why Teru discourages him so harshly on being an exorcist. But if he’s not an exorcist, then what is he? The family wants to train him, so why wont Teru let him?? It’s so frustrating. It’s all he’s ever wanted to do. So.. why did he say those things to mitsuba..? Kou’s aware that his family is judgmental and quite traditional. That they all don’t like his family much. But even if his family isn’t great, he’s never wanted to die before-? the thought has never really popped up.
”If I died, I would get to stay with mitsuba and all my friends!” Thoughts creeped into his head, flooding him with thoughts and scenarios of if he became a spirit at the school. If he got the chance to stay. “How do you even get to stay as a ghost anyway? Is it a randomly drawn thing?”
He needs to stop. Thinking about this is wrong. He still has to take care of Teru and Tiara. They can’t cook for themselves and Teru cant take care of Tiara. “But grandpa can and probably will.” What else is his set back? Why shouldn’t he die..? He wants to be an exorcist, but is that even an option at this point? And what about all his friends.. the ones other than Nene and Hanako and.. Mitsuba.. the ones from class, Yokoo and Satou! they would care if he disappeared. The teasing and making fun of is just the way they play. They’re much closer without him, but it doesn’t mean that they aren’t friends. It doesn't..
his eyes finally feel heavy but he's still too worked up to be sleeping. He feels his priority should be working out his emotions.. like a normal person should. “God if I don’t become an exorcist then I’m gonna get kicked out or even disowned!!”
He remembers it. The night he had to go to a family dinner and one of his cousins purposely decided not to follow the family in being an exorcist. They talked about him as if he was dead. Or some random guy in the news. If he failed the family.. he wouldn’t- no.. couldn’t be a minamoto.
He knew he was going to fail. It was just a matter of when and how. And with the skills he’s currently at, he’s probably gonna fuck up a mission then get titled “a weak link” then get teased and borderline abused because of it. He’s well too aware of the little pats on the back from drunk relatives that end up bruising. the quick comments and whispers, hardly heard under their breath.
He just needs sleep. He looks like a zombie right now. Overthinking will only lead to worse. Plus if he screws up his sleep schedule worse than Monday will be one hell of-
*BEEP*
*BEEP*
*BEEP*
*BEEP*
Fuck.
He hears Teru enter his room, and sees Tiara in his arms with the biggest grin chanting “Pancakes! Pancakes! Pancakes!” Well I guess he has no choice then. He trudged slowly out of bed and rustled his hair in case he somehow had a bed head from how much he was tossing and turning.
“Ill be out in a bit! Let me get ready first, ok?”
Tiara's eyes lit up and she enthusiastically nodded then shouted “let's go Teru!!” Pointing out the door. Though before they left, Kou saw Teru side-eye him, judging him. How bad could he look right now? One night couldn’t be so bad.. Once Kou finished changing into his uniform, he dragged himself out of his room and to the bathroom halfway down the hall. He flipped on the light and rubbed his face to adjust to the brightness. Not even looking into the mirror yet, he grabbed his toothbrush from a cup then started brushing his teeth. Around when he was almost done, he looked up to the mirror above the sink and practically spit out what was in his mouth.
His eyes.. They looked a little too dark and sunken. The bags under his eyes were a prominent blue and purple with little colors through it due to his veins basically popping out. It wasn't just just eyes that looked baggy, his entire face and composure looked exhausted. If he went to school he’d probably get stared at in the halls. Not to mention Yashiro probably worrying her head off about it.
He doesn’t have any time to glare at his reflection anymore. Teru is hollering for him asking why he's taking so long getting ready. Without wasting any more time, he practically runs down the stairs after spitting out what he had in his mouth and throwing water on his face. Kou greets them in the dining room before walking to get breakfast ready. He's glad none of them got impatient and tried to make pancakes by themselves. Tiara is only a toddler and Teru would do worse than her somehow.
Kou made the pancakes and dished everyone up, he watched as they all started digging in. Weirdly enough he didn’t feel hungry, though cooking calmed him down a bit, he still felt too overwhelmed by last night. If he tried to eat now, he’d throw them up by 1st period and probably get sent home sick.
When Kou snapped out of his wandering thoughts, he saw Teru’s eyes on him, probably wondering why he wasn’t eating. After all their interactions today, he wouldn’t be surprised if Teru thought up some crazy story as to why Kou was acting so off today. But before any further word could slip, Teru got up and announced that he had to leave. It was only 5:30 in the morning, but Teru always had to leave early for “work” then school. Being a high exorcist and student body president must take a lot of patience and time. Kudos the Teru I guess.
Kou and Tiara waved bye to their big brother as they watched him walk out the door, quickly after, Kou started cleaning up Tiara's messy and syrup-y face. Toddlers take a lot of effort. Once she stopped being sticky, he gave her a coloring book from the arts and crafts closet they had to get her due to her always active and creative mind. It took her a while to decide if she wanted blank pieces of paper or one of the millions of random coloring child’s books they have. She decided on a superhero coloring book because “it reminds me of Teru-Nii!!” Or something like that. She finally got distracted long enough for Kou to clean up the table and do a few dishes before their grandpa would come over to pick up Tiara so Kou could go to school. Today felt like it would be a very long one. How fun.
An hour later, their grandpa came by and Kou had 15 minutes left before he had to walk to school. He kinda just sat there for the first 5 minutes, trying to get his brain a little rest before having to leave, but he still felt restless so he decided to go back upstairs into the bathroom to see if he could do anything else about his eye bags.
Looking into the mirror, he examined his appearance. His hair was a little greasy, he had acne on the top of his forehead and a few on his cheeks. His eye bags weren’t as bad as this morning but still would raise worry, probably. That is if anyone actually decided to worry about him. He's not popular at school —that all goes to Teru— and the only reason anyone besides Yashiro or the two he hangs out with talks to him, is to ask about Teru. So minus the two that hardly talk to him, it would probably only be Yashiro to notice. He's got a good enough excuse for them too “I'm worried about Mitsuba” and she'll get off his back. It probably doesn’t matter then.
Kou checks his watch and sees it's 6:58 and he could probably leave by now. He shuts off the lights in the house before grabbing his bag and leaving for school. He would like to listen to music but feels too overwhelmed. He's got a lot to think about, because there’s no way that you have a whole existential crisis and then just get over it.
As he walks to school, he realizes it's cold as hell and that he probably should’ve worn a jacket. “Do ghosts get cold?” Probably not- “so if i died and stayed as a spirit, I wouldn’t get cold? Tempting.“ … “crap. I don't wanna die. quit thinking that. I have things to still live for. But if I can’t be an exorcist then I can’t be anything and will be tossed out. Nobody will miss me and no one will care. Dammit.. but… i would be able to stay with hanako and mitsuba.. and i won't forget them at the end of school- If I didn’t have them in my life.. what would I have..? Am I anything at all even now..? Dammit. Maybe it would be better if I just went away..” he needed to stop overthinking and pitying himself.
It was an awful feeling. Feeling no longer needed in life in a way, but also feeling guilty because logically he still needs to live. But not pursuing what your family is made for, then the possibility that you won’t even have a family? Even worse. spiraling before school won't do him any good. He can’t be selfish by taking time to pity himself when he has others to worry about.
Kou felt something cold on his nose and looked up to see dozens of snowflakes falling from the sky along with slight tears that fell just as fast. Kou reached up to his face to try and understand what he was feeling. It was so strange and different than what he had felt in a very long time. It only makes him remember when his mom was gone. When she had passed.. before he knew it, the tears grew faster and he couldn’t stop them. The ground around him had a soft and very light cover of snow now and Kou only sat there.
He didn’t understand, he couldn’t understand. Why is he feeling like this now? It’s been years since his mother died. He thought he’d gotten over it for the most part.. then why.. why.. it only felt worse, though his tears had paused, he had no motivation to move. He’d never experienced something like this- “this doesn’t make sense…”
After minutes passed and Kou regained his composure, he met his way continuing to school, hoping to blame his puffy eyes on the cold. He checked his watch and it was now 7:14. He normally would’ve been at school by now. But it was all ok. He will be ok. But he knew it would only get worse from here on and he wouldn’t be able to bear it. Maybe all along he had felt like this and was only shoving it down. Maybe it truly was the pink headed ghost that helped him understand his feelings and what actually was needed of him. He needed to stay with the others, with his friend.. but he was scared to do otherwise, “I can’t be an exorcist.. I can't do anything.. but I can stay with Mitsuba.. I'm sorry Teru.. Tiara.. I'm so sorry…” he was useless..
Kou had decided that by the end of the month, if he truly couldn’t find any reason to make him want to stay, he would figure out a way for him to take his own life. He had taken “life’s” of apparitions, this couldn’t be any different.
Before he knew it, he was at the school's gates and there was an inch of snow on the ground around him. His feet were freezing and goosebumps were practically covering his arms. He rushed inside, changed his shoes, then wandered through the halls until it was time for class. He got there unusually late so he didn’t have any time to talk to Yashiro or Hanako, but it was fine, he could talk during lunch probably.
Class as he suspected was just as awful. Everything and all sounds felt fuzzy but he tried his best to stay presentable and attentive, but he could tell people were naturally avoiding him. Neither one of his friends talked to him more than just a wave, then the teacher walked in and he practically slumped over and closed his eyes a moment.
The lunch bell rang for classes to break and Kou dragged himself out of his seat, still groggy. He couldn’t pay attention at all during the time or even when individual classes break for 5 minutes. He's pretty sure no one tried to talk to him at all during class, so it was fine. But he actually was kinda hungry after skipping breakfast and being half asleep for the past few hours. So quickly he got up and made his way to the cafeteria, hoping at one point he could find Mitsuba to ask him questions about apparitions, although Hanako would probably know more, he would catch on quickly as to what was happening and Kou would rather avoid that..
He saw some friends from class he could talk to and try to butt-into the line with until he saw Teru out of the corner of his eye, waving for him to come over.
Mitsuba wandered around the room where all of his friends were. Honestly quite bored, although he was genuinely still kinda scared of them all So he was hesitant to attempt to make conversation. Sakura was really nice though, so maybe he could go up and try to talk..? But what if he annoyed any of them! They would have his head! Or Tsukasa would cut off his tongue! Just the thought made Mitsuba shutter with fear.. then “speak of the devil” jumped out behind him making him shriek in surprise. “Hey Mitsuba! What wrongggg? It looks like you’ve seen a ghost~” Tsukasa starts giggling like a child but damn.. that was a really bad pun.
After Mitsuba chilled out, he practically glared at Tsukasa because like.. that was super bad- did he get it from a book or something??? As Tsukasa just kept cackling, Mitsuba realized he would probably get more entertainment if he went and stalked some humans during their lunch. A few of them he knew so curiosity overtook him and he walked out the door, Tsukasa still giggling like it was the funniest thing he had ever heard in the background.
While wandering towards the cafeteria for casual high school tea, He noticed somebody he knew, Kou. To say he was excited would be an overstatement but at the same time, he hadn’t heard anything from him since they left the other world! Mindlessly Mitsuba started walking towards Kou until he was taken aback by his appearance. The bright, noticeable eye bags hanging from his face, the way he held himself, he looked exhausted. His hair untamed and greasy, he was just an entire mess.! He looked distracted and suddenly turned towards the stairs, so of course Mitsuba followed him, but kept hidden.
He hid ways up the stairs, above them so he could still hear what was going on. Not well, but good enough. Kou’s older brother Teru was apparently the one to call him over, and he didn’t sound happy in the slightest.
Just like that, Teru started whispering in case of those around, but clearly something was wrong from how aggressive it was. “Kou, you look like shit. If you want to even attempt to be an exorcist, at least try. You look like you haven’t slept in weeks, the family won't even look at you like this. God Kou, get yourself together. You’re sinking lower and lower by day on the ranks and by this rate you will never be good enough. Just throw yourself in a ditch if you’re just gonna act like this will you? By the time you graduate, Grandpa will probably do it for you. Considering everything you’ve cost us up to this point it's probably for the best, not to mention you’re hanging around the school wonder and some daikon girl! I care about you Kou, You know I do. So stop fucking around and give an effort!“
With that he slapped Kou across the face. Mitsuba couldn’t believe his eyes. That was disturbing.. disgusting even. and Kou was still just standing there.. he just took it. It felt so much unlike him.. “What the actual hell had happened since I had last seen Kou? (Not sleep apparently.)" The normal energy from Kou felt not only non-existent but like it was ever there in the first place. Mitsuba hadn’t realized the pressure put on him by his family. The status he needed to remain to be able to stay.. it all felt so horrible..
The conversation continued on with Teru just ripping him a new one at everything he did and all that was going to come. The way he sacrificed his future by just being a screw-up and that he needs to get his act in check. Mitsuba swears he learned like 7 new words by just hearing this- it couldn’t even be considered a conversation. This was a one-way beat down.
After a few more minutes, Teru took a deep breath in and returned to his normal persona and left. Kou was left standing there alone. But Mitsuba couldn’t go down there, how could he face him after hearing all of that? He saw that somehow Kou wasn’t even crying or anything. All emotion on his face was the same as the rest of the day, exhaustion. Mitsuba decided to give Kou his space so Mitsuba went upstairs to not get spotted and went back to the room. He decided that’s enough eavesdropping for today.
He couldn’t move. All he wanted to do was shrivel into a ball and go home for the rest of his life, unmoving. But why this time? This has happened so many times before, so why does this one hurt so much more. He had belittled him multiple times for everything he’d done since he was born, why was this one different… his body and mind felt stunned. He could only hear what was going on around him, at some point he had realized that Teru had in fact left and his words were just swirling around in his head, impactful and sharp. Suddenly he fell to his knees and his face felt hot. He wanted to cry. To bawl and bawl for eternity. So why couldn’t he..? Why was it that the time that people are supposed to feel emotions, all of his just- shut off.
probably because it wasn’t just Teru telling him these words, it had been known to him from the beginning. all of his relatives telling these threats through messages you’d have to read through the lines with, but Teru was kind. And just told him straight. Before he knew it, he heard the bell ring and he had to gather himself and get to class again. He didn’t get the chance to eat although he didn’t mind much, the interaction took all his hunger away anyways.
Step… step… step… step…
he just kept walking, hoping muscle memory would take him to his classroom. He didn’t want to use his brain. His distant eyes probably drove others from talking to him again, so it was all fine. The stares in the halls he was dreading this morning didn’t seem so bad anymore, even his teacher could notice something was off as they didn’t call on him to answer anything. It was unusual considering he was one often called on to help the teacher explain or answer. He was kind of grateful that they got the hint to fuck off.
He knew the eye bags and unfocused “dead” eyes, probably just scared the teachers off, but it didn’t matter, it was working in his favor so who cares. He just wanted to go home. He bets that if he just goes to sleep right away, he could get in better shape tomorrow and completely forget about today.
Did he just finally break? He had been realizing slowly that this was not how he wanted to live his life.. but had no other choice.. he was only 15. Hes only 15 and already a fuck up.. maybe he should be dead.. the previous nights.. wondering why hes alive.. and what hes been a waste on. The food that could’ve fed the homeless, the energy that could’ve helped society. God, He was ruining it all.. he doesn’t even need to talk to mitsuba anymore.. he just wants to go home.. possibly speed it up and test his luck on whether he would stay at the school or get final peace. He didn’t even care anymore. He will always just burden everyone around and himself.
He's glossed over it far too many times, sugar coated the way he's been treated because it's not an immediate thing. How pathetic. He has bruises from last he saw his family due to their secret messages along with a little family slap on the backs. The passive aggressive comments, how he would get occasionally injured and blamed for it because “he was supposed to watch the oven” or “he wasn’t careful” Then never getting the medical attention he needed because it wasn’t important. The time he burned his hand and had less sensation in it since, he had asked for painkillers once but asked Teru on a bad day because he got glared and was told to get it himself. He didn’t understand then but he truly knew now. they all hated him, and there was nothing he could do anymore.
The moment he heard the bell ring for school to be over, he practically jumped out of his seat. He had learned nothing that day but it would be fine. Kou speed walked as fast as he could, making his way to the school gates, though out of the corner of his eye we swore he could see hanako watching him “must be my eyes messing with me. I need a nap.” He was gonna take his sweet time at home, he didn’t have to deal with Teru for another few hours due to his Monday student council work then a while more for his exorcist work. He had the house to himself until then and he was gonna nap the hell away.
coming up to his door, he practically threw off his shoes and bag then rushed to his room where he collapsed on his bed. He heard a few dings from his phone but he couldn’t be bothered to check. He closed his eyes and let his mind wander. He just wanted to be alone and asleep..
BZZZ
BZZZ
BZZ
His eyes flashed open to see that his phone was going off and that he was getting a phone call from.. Teru. How nice. In his most awake voice he’d ever tried (and failed) to do, he answered carefully
“he-hello?”
[Kou, are you napping? You have a few jobs, remember?? You’re supposed to be at the school right now.]
..Shit.
Dammit he completely forgot. This will probably only worsen things. His family is gonna be so disappointed that he forgot. If he left right now maybe he-
[*sigh* Whatever Kou, I'll handle it. I still have to report this to grandpa still, but it’ll be fine. Go back to sleep, I'll try to figure something out.]
“Wait Teru! I can still-“
BEEP
BEEP
[end call]
Of course he would just hang up. God he's so fucked. What will he tell grandpa about what happened? He's not supposed to have sick days or “mental health” days. He'll look like a joke. Dammit.. this is all his fault.. “if I hadn’t over reacted today or if i was smart and went to sleep last night, none of this would’ve happened. God.. it's all my fault I should just disappear.”
Kou laid on his bed, staring at his bedside table with its cluttered things all over it. “I really need to clean up here.” He examines his clock and phone charger, the calendar and the picture frame of.. “mom.. dammit what would mother say about this.. she would feel so hurt over my feelings.. but, what if i'd be able to see her again. The pain would only last for a moment after all, she was so kind, I'm sure she'll forgive me. Hell even be proud I escaped even if not in the most respectful way.. i would give anything to be with her again..” it wasn’t a lie.. Kou was a little hopeful, if things played out right, he might be able to speak with his mom again. That or stay with and understand Mitsuba.
Taking his time, he glanced back over to his bedside table and saw the calendar sitting there. He rustled through his drawer until he found a pen and grabbed the calendar. After thinking for a while, he circled a date for 2 weeks from now, That’s when he's deciding to see his mom again.
he needs to figure out how but it really won't matter in the long run, so many emotions came rushing to him, so many negative ones that felt uncomfortable under his skin, the way it bubbled and itched, how nauseous and disgusting he felt. It made him wonder if this was what he wanted.. but in a way he felt at peace with it. he was about to tear off what was left after that date but suddenly a burst came through his room
“Hey Kou! Could you-“ Teru suddenly stopped when he saw the look on his face, “what got you looking like that? It looks kinda weird y'know? You were totally emo just a while back, bipolar much?” Kou just stared at his brother, confused. He knows he shouldn’t hold it against him but he couldn’t help but get floods on floods of what he was told earlier. It almost makes him see his older brother in a new light.. it was as if he physically desaturated when he saw him. But when Teru noticed the lack of response, he observed his surroundings and took note of the moved objects and the calendar in Kou’s hand.
“The 22nd?? What’s the deal with that? I don’t think it’s anyone’s birthday.. possibly a date??! KOU DO YOU HAVE A DATE??!!” Teru beamed with joy, and started pacing around asking questions before getting completely shut down. “No no you’ve got it all wrong! I don’t have a date oh my god just leave it alone! Aren’t you supposed to be at the school or working? What’s the deal with that??”
Close call. He didn’t want his brother knowing that it was only weeks away until he tries to off himself- it feels a little awkward to be honest.. “Well, something came up with some of the people on the council so we couldn’t meet today, and im only needed in an hour for work so I thought I would spend it with my wonderful baby brother!! Aren’t I so nice” Kou only could stare.. "guilt. This had to be guilt tripping.. right..? Two-faced asshole..” why was Teru acting like this?? It all feels so wrong now.. maybe it all was just in Kou’s head. This is all probably normal. He's just overthinking everything. God he's so stupid.
Teru walked up to Kou and put his hands on the younger one's shoulders, innocently smiling as he had been doing before, such a kid. But held to the thought, Terus grip on Kou’s shoulders turned into clutching his shit and his eyes turned sharp like at the stairway or when he's in work mode. Teru forced Kou to look up at him by tugging on his shirt, “oh. There it is. The reason why all of this started.” Kou’s blank and tired stare came back as if they both mentally traveled through time. “Listen to me and listen to me carefully. If you’re going to fucking off yourself, at least do a better job at hiding it. It’s pathetic and just reflects how weak you are. Don’t drag me or anybody else into this and figure out who’s gonna take your place.”
Teru dropped his grip and Kou fell to the floor. He hadn’t realized how far his older brother had actually been lifting him off the floor but it didn’t matter.. he knew.. he knew the whole damn time. The Whole Fucking Time. He couldn’t believe this. He didn’t want to believe this. Kou felt all his senses practically leave him when he sees Teru’s stupid two-faced smile grinning like none of that happened. “So! What’s for dinne-“ Kou lunged off the ground quick enough and punched his older brother straight in the jaw, knocking him back and to the ground. Horror and dread filled his eyes as he realized what he had just done. He can't beat him.. he's such an idiot.
He's lucky Tiara wasn’t home, he doesn’t want her to see any of this. She still has a life and he doesn't want to give a 3 year old trauma over something stupid like this. Kou was now facing downwards to his brother, blood still boiling but fear stronger. no regret in sight. But below, Teru quickly moved and used his force to kick Kou hard enough to leave a harsh bruise but not break. Pain jolted through his entire leg causing him to lose balance and fall backwards. He's now staring up at Teru, face unrecognizable with apathy.
Quickly Kou starts backing up, trying to get far away from him. But it doesn't work, just as he thinks he's gonna be fine, his back hits the wall with a hard and loud thunk even knocking a few things off of the dresser and shelves like his lamp, figurines and a framed picture of his family when Tiara was born.. Kou looked over to the frame in fear of it shattering. But it was too late, glass sprawled out, cutting some of the picture even. Kou desperately looked up to his older brother, hoping for him to come back to his senses.. no luck.
Last thing he saw was his face and his foot rapidly coming closer to colliding with his face. The harsh pain he felt from his nose and head after it was smashed into the wall, luckily not denting or breaking anything, but leaving marks and bruises on his skin.
Hours later, Kou woke up in a shock, “how long was i out?” He reached up to his face and flinched slightly when he felt his nose. The whole side of it up to his eye felt like a shocking pain, but didn’t feel broken. There was a slight crust under it, so clearly he had gotten a bloody nose, but he looked around and he was in the same spot. Teru had knocked him out then just left.. damn. Another jolt of pain zapped through his leg and he realized he needed to make sure his leg wasn’t broken either. He lifted up his pant leg to see below his knee was a jumble of reds, purples, yellows, and blues, but no swelling so all good. Might wanna stay off it a bit though.
He looked outside and saw it was already night time. He tried to get up and after trial and error, stood up but with a limp And hobbled over to his bed. He checked the clock “8:46, damn i was out for a while” when getting back up, he decided to pick up at least a few things, his room was a mess as is but it only was worse after earlier.
He got tired quickly and wanted to leave his room, hoping Teru wasn’t up or something. When leaving, he tripped on the knocked over lamp cord. He remembers knocking that over when he hit the wall. “Oh man, I bet my back is almost as bad as my leg.”
Apparently the lamp made enough noise and Kou got to find out the easy way that Teru was in fact not asleep and was chilling in the dining room like a creep. “Kou! Welcome back sleepyhead! Because you were snorting, I ordered some take-out. Leftovers are in the fridge if you get hungry! Also I meant to tell you, Tiara will be away with Grandpa for a while, so no need to worry~”.. snoring? Are you fucking serious??
He simply limped to the bathroom to try and make himself more presentable due to the bruises on his face. If someone saw him, they’d think he was getting abused at home. Does this count as abuse? He was lucky that his older brother was “the pretty face” in school so he just saw something he thinks is concealer and used it the best he could. What Kou needed was space. He might be injured but he couldn’t be here right now. It all feels like so much it makes him nauseous.
Kou called out to Teru informing him that he was gonna go on a walk and grab something in town instead. of course he doesn't care but Kou didn’t wait for a response anyway and limped out then practically slammed the door and down the street. He considered taking his bike, but he could probably crash with the injuries he has right now. He just put one step in front of the other and let his mind get rest as he just walked.
He doesn't know how long he's been walking for, but somehow he manages his way to the school, he slowly comes back to his senses and approaches the school, not sure what he's even gonna do, wondering if it's even unlocked. He knows it's not legal to be in there during these hours, but maybe he can stop by the bathroom and talk to hanako to get his mind off things or.. Mitsuba. Yea, he needs to find mitsuba.
Mitsuba might not be physically warm anymore, but he still makes him happy to be around.. he needs him right now. He doesn't know what else to do. Step by step he came up to a door and jiggled the handle before realizing it was unlocked. He walks in and just loses it again. His mind is so stressed that it goes on autopilot, find mitsuba. “Do ghosts even sleep? What if I don’t find him?”
Wandering through the dark and long halls, he realizes he doesn't actually know where Mitsuba would be, he has no idea where he hangs out during the days, it's always been in the halls or the bathroom that he's ran into Mitsuba, so he just keeps wandering, hoping to find something.
Probably about 15 minutes later, he found himself on the second floor of the abandoned building. “Muscle memory?” He's really close to Hanako's weird bathroom thing, snapping out of his thoughts, he stops in front of the Girls bathroom sign and sees weird lights coming out of the door. Not sure if he should go in or not, he kinda just stands there for a while and stares at the door.
Without warning, the red door burst open with hanako himself standing right there in the doorway. They both shriek, not expecting to see each other at this hour or in this way, Kou peaks into the bathroom and sees a few dozen little mokke and flashing rainbow lights with a comically large speaker that- wasn’t playing anything? Were they having some sort of dance party?? Is this what apparitions do at night??
he sees hanako as he gathers himself again and comes back to the same energy he had on normal days. “Heya Kou! Whatcha doin’ here it’s late? Miss me or something?? We only saw each other earlier- wait no you didn’t come in during school! Why was that, hm??” Kou just kept staring, emotions —mostly confusion— raced through his head and body although that could actually be pain and he has a concussion. Luckily Hanako takes notice and shuts the door to block the bright flashing lights coming from it then stares Kou dead in the eyes and shrugs “dance party.”
Kou accepts that answer but still can't seem to look hanako in the eye or even speak. In this time, Hanako takes a deep look up and down, examining Kou, his stance, the way he holds himself. “What- what happened to you..? You look like an absolute wreck” he pointed to Kou’s general direction and scrunched up his face in pity. “oh do i really look that beat up..?”
He could see the gears turning in Hanako’s mind and knew he got the hint. “Beat up..?! why the hell would you get beat up?? Here let me help.” Hanako opens the bathroom door again and closes it behind him. He can hear some talking and rustling, telling them to wrap it up and “take a hike” not something he’d really thought he’d hear Hanako say, but he also thought he would never experience family abuse but here he is.
Once the bathroom was cleared out and all the devilish bunnies left with all their expensive looking equipment, Hanako invited him inside and gestured towards a stool that seemed to appear out of absolutely nowhere.
He walked inside and could see Hanako’s face change again when he noticed his limp. Kou was in no position to refuse help from this kid anyway, he seemed to know what he was doing when he pulled out a med-kit and Kou was in a lot of pain and a little desperate. Maybe at the end, he could help him find mitsuba.
Hanako told him to stay still while he got some things ready like a washcloth and alcohol wipes/ cotton balls. He first starts on his face, but pauses and tells Kou to wash off the poorly done makeup he put on. “It couldn’t be that bad-“ Kou saw his face in the mirror, and sadly he admitted to himself that Hanako was right. He was horrible at makeup. But the bright bruises hiding underneath was quite a scare to both of them.
The light of the bathroom feels so much better than the one at home, he could see better just how bad at it he was, he's pretty sure he even heard Hanako gasp a little when it was in the open, but he went quickly back to work and pulled out a cotton ball and dabbed some liquid on it before applying it to the marks, so he guesses he could trust him right now.
It was cold and took a long while, but hanako finally got bandages on him and cleaned all the wounds on his face, leading to him having a few patches on his nose, one under his eye and apparently one of his forehead. They sat in silence the entire time, it was so awkward. He could feel Hanako’s eyes wanting to ask questions. “He must have some experience if he's this good at dealing with wounds.”
He even considers telling hanako about the wounds on his back but ultimately decides against it because he doesn't want to deal with a more awkward situation than now. The silence came to an abrupt stop when hanako asked Kou to bring up his leg. and though Kou wanted to deny that there was anything wrong with his leg, he knew Hanako would never believe him and being stubborn now will lead him nowhere.
So Kou lifts up his leg and pulls up the fabric to the point where you can see the entire bruise. And damn, “now seeing everything again, its all so much worse…” the fucking thing is massive. the thought that his own brother had done something like this was alarming. He didn’t want Hanako to find out that information though, so it’s probably better he just forget about it.
Kou looked up at Hanako. it probably should’ve been more concerning, He had never seen hanako seem so worried, when the topic of Yashiro’s lifespan is brought up, sure, but never for him. He watched as hanako slowly cleaned and wrapped his leg up like he did earlier, and surprisingly, it already felt a little better. “Thank- thank you Hanako. This actually means a lot to me.” Kou muttered, not even trying to hide how embarrassed he feels with all this.
“Hah! No problem Kou! But- if you don’t mind-“ ..he knew it was coming.. “Could I ask how you got these injuries..? Like.. these were really bad Kou, you said you got beat up but-“ ..
“shut up.”
“Kou-“ ..
“I got into a fight. That’s all. Leave it.” it’s technically not a lie- but still far from what happened. Not like he can go blabbing that it was his brother that he got into a fight with over.
“please Kou i know we're not exactly the closest or see eye-to-eye, but i want to help you. You cant think I don’t see the signs with you. Skipping out on school, the exhaustion.. I know it all too well.” Hanako avoids eye contact and takes off his hat, holding it close to his chest
“please.. this only leads to somebody getting hurt physically or mentally whether it's you or not. it's not worth the pain or suffering.. Let me help you! You still have so much life, I don’t want to see somebody waste it like I had.”
“oh..” Kou stays silent for a while.. “Hanako, you don’t know or understand anything. You cant understand what’s going on in the slightest, just leave it the fuck alone.” The response hangs coldly in the air, they don’t look at each other but Kou can imagine what Hanako looks like right now.
Kou turns around to leave but stops and asks “Do you have an idea of where Mitsuba could be?” He looks back to hanako, he doesn't know what he's thinking in the slightest, but Hanako finally responds “probably at the end of the hall, near the north stairway. There’s a radio broadcast room, in there is where Tsukasa typically hangs out, check there.” His voice sounds distance and sad.. it almost makes Kou feel bad.
“thanks.” Just like that Kou starts heading out but hanako yells out “WAIT” and tries to grab Kou, tugging his shirt from the back. This makes Kou flinch, neither of them expecting such a reaction. He stays frozen and Hanako quickly retracts his hands.
“Kou, I-!” But before he could even finish, Kou went darting off down the hall as fast as he could with his leg. Hanako could only sigh and hope that he or Mitsuba could save him now. He sunk to the floor of the bathroom, thoughts racing through his head, debating on what he should do.. what he could do.. nothing.. he can't do anything.. dammit…