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Finn’s been fooling around with Mike since junior high. That doesn’t make him gay. Kurt’s gay. Kurt’s like Elton John, trying to draw as much attention to himself as he can, being as flashy and weird as he can. Finn thinks of himself more like Mikey Way from My Chemical Romance. Mikey Way fucked Pete Wentz that whole summer, but it was none of anyone’s goddamn business, and he still ended up marrying a woman and caring for a ton of animals with her. So it’s not like Finn’s anti-fooling around with guys. It would just make Kurt’s life a lot easier if he wasn’t such a fag all the time. And as Finn’s trying to explain that, getting more mad with each word because Kurt’s not listening, Burt comes in and he gets kicked out.
His mom is pissed. Super pissed, because she didn’t raise him to, and his hatred is ruining her chance at, and did you know your father never had one mean word to say about and by the time she sends him to his room, Finn’s practically twitching. He just can’t take it when she’s upset with him. Maybe it’s a being raised by a single parent thing, because he happens to know Puck hates making his mom upset too, even if he’d never say so.
Under Finn’s bed is a collapsible ladder for emergencies. It’s not the first time Finn’s tossed it out his second floor window for non-fire related emergencies, and it probably won’t be the last. But the first time Puck told him a kegger after a shitty football game was basically the solution to a mental health emergency it really made sense to him, and he justifies it the same way now. If Finn sits in his bedroom he won’t do something productive, like arrange a Glee song or play Halo, he’ll just think about how pissed off Mom and Burt and Kurt are, and how pissed Rachel and Mercedes are gonna be when Kurt tattles. He’ll get more and more upset as the night goes on. It’ll be much better for him if he goes to see Mike. Mike might not ever use the word fag, even when he’s frustrated, but he’ll get why saying it doesn’t make Finn evil, which no one else seems to.
Once he’s in his backyard he sneaks into the garage, where his (often used) bike and his mom’s (never used) bike are stored. Finn’s down the block before the garage door is sealed against the concrete. He’s fast on a bike. If he doesn’t make it out of Lima on a football scholarship, maybe some school has something for BMXing. He takes back lanes to Mike’s, and hops off the bike to walk it the last few feet to the window that he can see Mike’s posters through.
Knocking in the glass has Mike answering him immediately. For a guy that barely talks he’s good with expressions, because three seconds looking at Finn and he’s asking “woah dude, what’s the problem?”
Finn takes that as the invitation it is to climb through Mike’s window. He’s got the upper body strength to haul his body up, it’s the landing that’s a little noisy. Sneaking in is necessary though. Mr Chang is sort of an asshole. In his opinion every minute that Mike’s with friends is a minute he’s not studying. It’s almost a violation of rule two that Finn knows that, but not quite, since it’s also just an Asian stereotype, like that green background meme.
Rule two; people who date know a lot of stuff about each other, and they’re not dating. Finn knows Quinn and he knows Rachel. He knew his first girlfriend, Kristin. While he was dating Kristin and fooling around with Mike he hadn’t even been certain his name was Mike, he’d just called him Chang the same way Mike had called him Hudson. He didn’t know anything about him that couldn’t be guessed from bedroom clutter until Puck convinced Mike and Matt to join Glee six months ago.
Finn shucks his shoes off at the window and collapses onto Mike’s double bed. There’s enough room for them to both lie down comfortably, and it’s not much of a surprise when Mike joins him, hip to hip. “You know how me and mom were supposed to move into Kurt’s house today?”
“You’re sharing his basement, right? Good luck keeping all his shit white.”
“Dude-”
Mike replies defensively. “Well, Brittany said it was okay that he was capital g gay because she didn’t want to date a ghost in an igloo anyway. I kind of assumed that meant pale boy in a white room? I’ve never actually-”
“That wasn’t what I was gonna say. Was gonna say dude, that’s not how things went down. Like, at all. Because he’d redone everything, and it was like gay mecca. Literally, I think. Mecca’s Arabic, right? The basement was done up like Aladdin.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. And he wanted me to change behind a transparent screen thing that was definitely smaller than I am. He was just being super intensely gay about the whole thing, and denying his super obvious crush. I sorta flipped out trying to explain I’m not like him, I can’t do that kind of relationships with guys, and I ended up calling his lamp faggy.”
Mike twists a little to punch him in the arm. “Asshole.”
“Yeah, I know. But then Burt showed up and not only did he basically call me an asshole, he also kicked me and my mom out to keep Kurt safe. Which doesn’t even... I’d never hurt him. I never dumpstered him, neither did you.”
Mike shrugs. “Look, I get what you’re saying. His crush can be seen from the moon and he’s definitely trying to convert you into another him. But you gotta apologise for the hate speech. Unless, did you already?”
“Burt kicked me out. I’m not welcome.”
“Do it in Glee then.” The duh is pretty strongly implied. And he will. If Kurt’s as upset as his dad is tomorrow when Finn sees him, he totally will. But right now he wants it to go away, and Mike can make that happen.
“Can we just-” Finn gestures.
In answer Mike does a body roll against his bedding that somehow ends with his pants at his knees. Finn’s seen it maybe a hundred times and he still has no idea how he manages it.
Rule one is important. That’s why it’s rule number one. No making fun of how they get off. It was meant for keeping things from getting weird when they were first experimenting. Though Finn hates to admit it, these days it comes in handy a lot more on his side. The mental loop of nearly killing the mailman can only do so much when Mike’s lips are on his thigh, nearing his dick.
It’s okay though, because Mike just gives him a few minutes to cool off, and then they have the real sex. The sex that’s more than a premature facial when Mike exhales on the head of his dick and Finn comes all over Mike’s cheekbone. The good stuff, basically.
Mike doesn’t bother to change the topic, just dives back into what they were talking about a minute ago. “You should apologise with Gaga. Kurt was really into it, before you segregated us.”
Which is true, and is actually a good back up plan, but mostly thinking about KISS in proximity to Mike’s naked body makes Finn think about how Mike reacted to dividing the roles. “So, you like, really wanted to be the cat one. You claimed it before we even decided on a song. Any reason?”
“Do you really want to know? It’s kind of a lot of info, and we have that whole not sharing thing.”
“Tell me,” Finn insists. If it’s ‘kind of a lot’ it’s more than just that Mike likes Peter Criss, but it still shouldn’t cross into rule two. It’s just a seventies band.
“I want to be a cat.”
“Uh.” That’s nothing close to what he thought Mike would say. It sounds kind of like a joke, so he rolls onto his side to check Mike’s face. They’ve known each other long enough that Finn should be able to tell a joke from his face.
“Sometimes,” Mike adds hurriedly, then corrects himself. “Most of the time. It’s why Brittany and I date, when she’s not busy with someone else. She likes cats.”
Finn’s eyes dart around the room, flitting from object to object when none of them explain things to him. Mike’s not volunteering more. This is definitely crossing rule two, but Finn’s too curious. “So you’re like, a furry?”
Mike shakes his head. “I don’t want to dress up in a cat costume. I want to be a cat.”
“You dressed up yesterday.”
“Yeah, but that wasn’t to get off. That was just a spiritual connection.”
It’s still not enough information. “Okay, so what do cats do?” Mike will ask if he’s never seen a cat and Finn will explain his mom never got him a pet, and Mike will say but didn’t a friend or relative have one, and Finn will-
“Lie on your stomach. I’ll show you.”
Finn does, not knowing what to expect. What he gets is like a weird massage, he’s being rubbed only by the flats of Mike’s fingers from first to second knuckle. Like paws, maybe. It feels good though. Between sports, dancing for Glee, and growing pains it there’s always some place on Finn’s body that’s sore. Being rubbed is a lot nicer than an ice bath, or Biofreeze.
The comfort actually gets Finn in a good enough mood to smile, not that Mike is looking at his face. “So this is how cats get it on? Seduce each other with back massages?”
Mike chuckles. Finn arches back so he can look at the guy. If he’s being made fun of he wants to know why.
“Relax. It’s a cat thing, not a you thing.”
“Okay?”
“The thing about cats is that the males have barbs on their penises. You know, to stimulate the girls.”
“That sounds kind of awful.”
“Does it?” Mike flicks his head in a way that looks pretty catlike, although maybe Finn’s reading into it a bit much. “I dunno. Imagine it.”
Finn closes his eyes and gets as far as a cat with rose thorns on it’s dick before he shakes his head and flops back down onto the pillow. “Sorry, no. The paws thing yeah, but not this.”
Mike doesn’t seem disappointed that he doesn’t get it. If anything he becomes more determined to make sure Finn gets it. He curls his hand around Finn’s asscheek until two fingers are pressing on his hole lightly enough that they don’t sink in. “See, it’s just the heads of their cocks. When they’re inside it does nothing, but when they pull out it stimulates the female. It’s kinda like when I fuck you and you come and I keep going. You feel it more when you’re sensitive and I’m scraping your insides. When I’m searing my way into you and leaving my mark.”
“I’ll get you some ears for your birthday,” he mumbles. Because of Glee he actually knows when that is now. “But you don’t have to wait until then to fuck me.”
“Smooth, Hudson.”