Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

4 months and 3 weeks
Thursday

“Amy, my fingers are not food.”

He tries to remove his fingers from her mouth, skin damp from her drool. It doesn’t even bother him anymore, if he’s entirely honest with himself. Ben just groans softly as she looks at him, wide brown eyes terribly sad at the idea of the loss of her ‘food’.

“Sweetheart, I need those. I know you’re hungry, but please just wait a moment,” he mutters, pulling his fingers away from her lips to grab the keys from his back jeans pocket.

The brand new key sticks in the old lock, and he resists the urge to curse in front of very sensitive, very impressionable ears as he pushes against the door marked ‘404’ as hard as he can while holding his daughter in his other arm. Eventually the wood gives, and he breathes a sigh of relief as he practically stumbles into the space with her.

He looks around the living room, gazing at the new apartment for the just the second time. The rooms are bare, not furnished or decorated like the last time he’d seen it during the open house, but it’s something. He walks across the light hardwood floor, looking around the space in relief. It’s leagues better than the dangerous bachelor pad he had before, at the very least. The other place had been a new parent’s nightmare with its iron edges and exposed brick, its heavy windows and bare wood flooring. Here is all smooth walls and coated wood; it’s significantly happier, too.

Well, anything would be happier than that place, admittedly – what with the memories that were attached to it.

Their new two bedroom apartment is a bit more modern than he’d like, but the new building offered better accommodations for her than some of the oder, more distinguished buildings with cheaper rents. He’s happy with it, though, and it’ll work well for Amy. There’s a tub in the master bath for bathing her, and she’ll have her own room. Square footage-wise, it’s almost pitiful compared to the apartment he’d had back in New York, but they’ll manage just fine.

He sets the worn duffel bag down on the floor, still holding the 4-month old girl close to his chest. He crouches with her as he uses his free hand to unzip the bag, the old zipper sticking occasionally and nearly prompting him to curse as he drags it along the crooked teeth. Inside the duffel is a plethora of baby things – it’s just the start of her stash, the rest in boxes in the rented car. Rummaging around the onesies and teething toys, he finds the backpack with a relieved sigh. Bless whoever created this, he thinks as he fiddles with the straps to get it ready for her. Amy’s currently finding her own fingers very interesting and apparently delicious, and he’s grateful for the distraction as he sets her gently on the floor and hurriedly puts the backpack on.

Within moments she’s being lifted, and then she’s strapped to his chest. He tightens the straps as needed and reaches into the bag, coming up with a plastic toy giraffe. “Here you go, babe,” he mutters as he hands it to her. Tiny fingers clutch at the toy, and he smiles for the first time in a while as he closes the door behind them for safety’s sake.

The rented handcart’s in the back of the also rented car, and with some difficulty he manages to get it out without jostling or irritating Amy too much. From then on the moving’s easy; it’s a blissfully short process of carefully loading boxes onto the cart and bringing them up to his - their - apartment. He’s incredibly grateful that the building’s elevator’s working – he has no idea what he’d do otherwise.

It doesn’t take him too many trips to unload their things into the apartment; there are less than a dozen boxes holding their meager belongings. He has an air mattress as a bed for now, and one of those pop-up cribs for her for the time being. Furniture still has to be purchased from IKEA, or whatever other cheap place he can find. He’ll deal with that later, he thinks. For now, he has to get her settled.

She comes first. Always.

He glances down at her as she noms on the toy giraffe, drooling up a storm but seemingly content as they ride the elevator up to their apartment. He smiles a bit, bending to press a kiss to the top of her light brown, downy hair.

When the last box is unloaded in the living room, he lets out a relieved sigh and walks into the kitchen. It’s not the biggest kitchen, but the appliances are new and clean, at least. He’s relieved that he doesn’t have to worry about a faulty stove, or a leaky fridge. He settles himself against the counter, Amy still secure in the backpack. He looks down at her, pressing another soft kiss to the top of her head. She’s still mouthing at the head of the giraffe, and he allows himself a small, relieved smile as he rests his cheek against the top of her head.

“We’re here, love,” he mutters. “We’re here.”

He doesn’t get much of a break. His phone rings not two seconds later, and he scrambles to fish it out of his pocket. Warm brown eyes stare up at him as he swipes along the screen and puts the speaker to his ear. “Mom? Yeah, we’re here.”

-

4 months, 3 weeks, 4 days
Monday

His job isn’t exactly what he wants to do - he’d much rather be writing the books than editing them - but it’s a goddamn dream when he considers that the company made an excuse for him to bring Amy in with him. Hux wasn’t exactly happy when he’d insisted bringing on his daughter to work, but the redhead caved eventually to his pleading and Amy’s cooing. After all, the company needs as many hands on deck as they can possibly get with the move and merger.

Now Amy sits in his office, rocking in the little mechanized swinger that he bought from a thrift shop back in his hometown. He has to improvise at nap time, the blanket he’d brought still letting light in despite him folding it over twice. The first day he walks around in just a dress shirt and pants, his jacket sacrificed to give her total darkness and his tie holding said jacket in place. Phasma had raised an eyebrow at the wardrobe change, but didn’t say anything as she handed him a prospective book.

When Starkiller Publishing moved to the bustling city of Bespin, he’d scrambled to leave his small town in upstate New York. He’d gone apartment hunting immediately, reluctantly leaving Amy in the hands of his parents as he explored housing options near the office building. Once he found a decent space for sale, he’d packed his and Amy’s things in less than a week, abandoning his former bachelor pad with its iron staircase and multiple hazards.

He’d been on constant watch there, his heart clenched constantly in fear of the worst. He ended up leaving many of his old belongings behind, letting the new owner decide what to do with his uncomfortable couch and his modern but very unsafe coffee table.

Here is much more baby-proof-able, rubber on every pointed surface even though she has yet to move on her own. He covers every outlet diligently, spreading blankets on the floor in lieu of rugs just in case the previous owner didn’t clean as thoroughly as they’d thought and an errant nail or shard of glass emerged from the wood. Amy reclines in her swing as he deep-cleans every inch of the place, her brown eyes entranced by the mobile overhead as he gets on his hands and knees and scrubs until his elbows hurt and his knees ache. He sweeps her into his arms afterwards, nearly collapsing into the rocking chair he’d bought the day after they arrived and holding her close. The entire place smells of baby-friendly cleaning supplies for hours afterwards. He’s perhaps overly careful, but when she’s all he has, he has to be.

-

5 months
Thursday

Before he really realizes it, a week has passed. Their days are filled with trial and error; of figuring out that the window in her room lets off too much light and jury-rigging a way to keep said light out using a couple of large towels as curtains, and realizing that the air mattress he’d stolen from his parents has seen better days and apparently has an undetectable leak, leaving him on the floor at 2 in the morning.

He also figures out that Amy really, really does not like solid food yet – she spit the cereal/milk mix right back out; the proof is in the stained jeans he still has in the hamper. She fusses a lot, unused to the new place and all its little quirks, and he’s constantly catering to her needs as a result.

“C’mon, babe, just go to sleep,” he whines one night, kissing the top of her head as she cries in his arms. After an hour, she finally falls asleep against his bare chest. Too scared of waking her again, he walks outside in the apartment hallway for hours until the sun rises.

It’s not exactly a routine, but it happens often enough that he’s getting less sleep than she is constantly. Every single baby book and online article he’d read had told him that she should be sleeping through the night, but the new environment has thrown both his and her routine completely out of whack.

His life is quickly becoming a cycle; a constant roundabout of taking care of her and working on top of it with little to no time in between. The circles under his eyes only become darker as the days go on (as his redheaded boss points out every morning with no small amount of amusement), and he might not smile often, but they’re here and they’re okay and money is entering the bank account thanks to Hux.

The man may be a bastard at times, but Ben almost cries when he sees that said man added another $200 on top of his normal salary. The man nods at him in the hallway the next day, even going so far as to pat Amy’s head awkwardly as if she’s a pet. Ben doesn’t say anything, too tired and grateful for the extra cash to protest that his daughter is in fact a human being and not one of Hux’s cats.

Moments where she isn’t attached to his hip are still filled with her - making her food, buying things for her online since he doesn’t want to take her out just yet, and being on constant alert should she cry out or need him. He’s often up seconds before she cries, launching himself into her room to scoop her up and cradle her. She mouths at his shirt, sometimes, instinctively looking for the comfort of the mother that left them, and it hurts more than he thought it would. He gives her a pacifier instead, sighing as she’s soothed.

He might not be the best father, he thinks, and he might not ever be. But he’s trying his very best to be a good one, at the very least.

-

5 months, 4 days
Monday

He has to work late. Hux demands it (though he has to give the redhead credit - the teetering stack of files is accompanied by a short apology), and Phasma casts a sympathetic glance into his office as another stack of files is placed on his desk.

They’re simple things that take more time than effort, forms and replies that have to do with the upcoming merger with the larger, more successful publishing company. But it’s still a pain, and he worries for his daughter’s bedtime routine as he looks towards the infant, who’s fussing in her little swing. He scoops her up and balances her on his lap, one arm around her while the other works on the paper. Her soft weight and warmth help him through the process, and he occasionally drops kisses to the top of her head just to hear her coo and gurgle at the feeling of his lips against her skin.

It’s past 9 pm by the time he finishes, slipping the files into the box on his desk for Hux to pick up the next day. Amy’s fast asleep in his arms by this point, and it takes quite a bit of slow maneuvering to attempt to get her into the backpack for the walk back to the apartment. Eventually he gives up on getting the sleeping baby into the backpack without waking her, and slips it in his briefcase instead.

He carries her in his arms, keeping her close to his chest as he walks the ten blocks to their home. He can’t afford a car, baby necessities and rent taking up most of his saved-up funds, but it doesn’t matter. The walking motion soothes her, thankfully, and she stays asleep for the stroll. He takes the elevator, wincing at the loud ‘ding’ that it makes when it arrives. Thankfully, she doesn’t wake, and he allows himself a kiss to the top of her head as they make the ride up. Amy snuggles closer to him despite the not-quite-comfortable cotton of his work shirt, and he smiles down at her in response.

When they reach apartment 404, he stops.

His keys. They’re in his briefcase, which is slung over his shoulder. He bites his lip, looking down at his sleeping daughter. Perhaps if he -

He shifts, but the movement of his shoulder causes her to whine and squirm against him. He freezes like a statue as she stretches, trying to get comfortable again. On the one hand, it’s a blessing when she remains asleep, but it’s also a curse - if she’d woken up, he could’ve gotten his keys without it making a damn bit of difference.

Ben bites his lip, trying another angle to see if that would work. It doesn’t, because life sucks, and he resists the urge to groan out loud as his shoulder twinges at the angle he’d tried. He shifts slightly, trying not to move his sleeping daughter much as he tries yet again.

“Do you need help?” He almost misses the question with how softly it’s asked. He turns as slowly as he can, dark eyes searching for the speaker in the dim light of the apartment hallway.

She’s a college student, if the backpack slung over her shoulder is anything to go by. She looks the part as well; her dark brown hair’s pulled up into a messy bun, and she’s wearing a ragged cream sweater and brown leggings with white Converse that have seen better days. She’s already reaching down before he can protest, letting her backpack fall from her shoulder. She sets it on the floor as quietly as she can, and offers her hands to him, presumably to take Amy.

“Please,” he begs quietly, turning his side to her so that she can reach into his briefcase instead. “Inner pocket, on the left side. The keychain’s a red lightsaber,” he whispers.

She reaches into briefcase, her small fingers emerging victorious. He reaches to take the key but she unlocks his door for him instead, opening it quietly and pushing it open for him with an ease that tells him that she knows these doors well. It doesn’t stick or squeak like it usually does, and he breathes a sigh of relief at the lack of sound.

“Thank you.” He slips through, and she stands awkwardly in the doorway. He turns his shoulder to her, holding Amy tightly with one hand and gesturing to the briefcase strap with the other. “If you wouldn’t mind-“

She’s beside him instantly, grabbing the strap and lifting it enough so that he can duck out from underneath of it. He takes it from her with his free hand and sets it on the ground beside the door. When he straightens again, she’s looking at him expectantly, and he’s startled at the warmth of her smile for a total stranger.

Amy squirms against his chest, and his gaze darts down to his daughter.

Right. Baby. That’s why she’s smiling.

“If you don’t mind waiting for a few minutes, I just need to put this one to bed,” he whispers. She nods, and he walks Amy to her room. There’s little in it besides the pop-up crib, the rocking chair and a noisemaker, plugged in and set on the floor. The crib has a changing table attached, so he doesn’t have to worry about that - yet. Her clothes and toys are still in boxes on the floor. He hasn’t managed to unpack, let alone buy furniture yet. It’s not the most welcoming room, but it’s all they have for now.

He sets her down in the crib, sighing softly as she stretches but doesn’t wake. He turns the noisemaker on the low setting before drawing the makeshift towel curtains and leaving her to sleep. The door’s still slightly open for his own safety reasons, so he turns off the hall lights and walks out to where his neighbor’s waiting. The girl’s standing in the middle of the living room when he emerges, running a hand through his hair with a sigh. “Thank you,” he says, voice quiet. “I honestly don’t know what I would’ve done without your help.”

“It’s no problem,” she insists, and then she smiles and offers her hand. “Rey Jakksun, 402.” Her accent’s vaguely British, out of place in the midst of the cacophony of different tones he’s heard over the past week and a half. He feels his stomach flip-flop at the brightness of her smile, and offers the best smile he can back.

“Ben. 404.” He takes her hand and shakes it gently.

“I know. Well, the 404 part,” she explains quickly, letting go of his hand and crossing her arms over her chest, leaning back on her hip as she looks around the apartment curiously. “I’ve seen you with her before, but you never stopped to say hi. You just kind of rushed by.”

“Oh.” It’s the only thing he can think to respond with. She’s gorgeous, he thinks, now that he can look at her properly in the bright light of his apartment instead of the dim needs-to-be-fixed flicker of the hallway. There’s a scattering of freckles across her nose, and her soft, reassuring smile’s warm and very, very pretty.

No. He can’t do this, not yet, he thinks. It’s too soon, and by the looks of it she’s far, far too young. Pretty, she may be – available or willing, she is probably definitely not. He shifts, stiff in his work clothes and eager to fall right into bed - well, mattress. “Well, thank you for your help. It was a pleasure to meet you.” It’s a dismissal if he’s ever heard one, but she doesn’t seem to take the hint, instead still lingering in his living room.

Rey goes from smiling warmly to biting her lip in a second flat, looking just past his shoulder and avoiding his eyes. “I … noticed you only have pictures of the two of you,” she explains. “Sorry if I’m intruding, but I was just curious.”

She’s not wrong about the pictures. The small foldable table beside the door, one of the few pieces of furniture he has, holds two framed photos. One is of Amy herself, and the other one is of him holding her at the hospital. It isn’t much to go off of in terms of personal information, but he can assume her thought process. He feels his cheeks and the tops of his ears flush slightly, and is very suddenly regretting inviting her in. “

It’s only us two,” he explains, tone slightly hostile even though he didn’t mean for it to be. He thanks every deity he can think of when she just nods understandingly, and doesn’t bother to press. If she feels pity for or judges him, she doesn’t show it.

“And you work?” she asks, looking between the briefcase and him, taking in his ill-fitting suit and crooked tie.

“I’m lucky enough to have a job where I can take her with me without too much trouble,” he tells her.

“Oh.” She shifts a bit, hands twisting in front of her. She rocks slightly on her heels as she looks up at him. “All of my classes are in the evening,” she offers. She looks back at the pictures. “I just thought, I mean, if you ever need someone to-“

“Yes.” It sounds like a sob; it’s a choked, desperate sound, and it seems to shock her as much as it shocks him in its suddenness. He didn’t really think before he spoke, he realizes – it just sort of came out. He clears his throat, shaking his head. “I mean, that would be wonderful. I can pay you. Not very well, but I can pay you. Do you have any experience with kids?”

She nods, her face splitting into that pretty smile again. He suddenly thinks that she’s like sunshine, filling the dim, empty space of his apartment with much welcomed light. It makes the tension in his shoulders ease just slightly. “That would be great, actually,” she says. “I’m a student, up at Republic College - I’ll take what I can get in terms of jobs. I’ve babysat for my godson a few times.”

He’s opening his mouth to ask her about her godson when the baby monitor lights up, a shriek following shortly afterwards. He’s rushing to Amy’s room before he can even excuse himself, pushing the door open and sweeping the baby girl into his arms with practiced ease. “Sh, sh, you’re all right, it’s all right…” He can hear the street cleaner moving down the street, the loud rumble having scared her from her sleep. The little girl calms immediately in his arms, cooing and clutching clumsily at the buttons his work shirt.

Ben rocks her, pacing the room until she’s asleep again, fingers loosely clenched in his shirt. It doesn’t take long to send her back to dreamland, ten minutes at most, but to him it seems like an eternity with Rey out in the living room. Once she’s settled back into sleep, he sets her down gently, waiting until he’s sure she’s down easy before turning back to leave.

He’s surprised to see that Rey’s standing in the doorway of the bedroom, leaning against the frame and watching them with an expression Ben can only describe as ‘tender’. He walks to her, stepping out of the room and gesturing for her to come with him. She follows him into the dark hallway, standing and waiting beside him. He runs his hand through his dark hair again, offering her a sheepish look.

“Would you mind starting tomorrow, at 7:30?” he offers. “If that’s too early, I can adjust a little bit, maybe 8 or so, but -“

He can barely see it in the low light coming from the living room, but she smiles at him. “7:30,” she assures him. “I’d love to.”

-

5 months, 5 days
Tuesday

The morning’s a whirlwind. He wakes up fifteen minutes later than usual thanks to being up half the night with his very needy daughter and the damn street cleaner, and opts to take a cold shower to wake himself up more. Amy cries out again as soon as he steps past the shower door, and he takes perhaps the fastest shower he’s ever taken in his entire life so he can get to her sooner. His hair’s still wet as he finishes getting dressed, and he ends up brushing his teeth with Amy balanced on his hip. She likes his tie, taking the loose end of the accessory and putting it in her mouth. He’s just grateful he chose a navy blue one - drool doesn’t show as much on dark colors. When the knock on the front door comes, he still has the toothbrush in his mouth as he rushes to open it.

Rey’s still in her pajamas. Or at least what he would consider pajamas - a large, paint-splattered t-shirt that comes mid-thigh, and a pair of black leggings with the same Converse she’d had on the night before. She wordlessly reaches for Amy, and he lets her take his daughter before rushing back to spit the foam out of his mouth. Hux is going to have a fit with him for being late, but Hux is also an asshole who is going to have to deal with it.

“I wrote out instructions last night. They’re on the fridge, and I’ll give you my number in case something happens,” he explains as he rushes out of the bathroom towards his closet, grabbing his shoes and tugging them on. He realizes he forgot socks as soon as he enters the living room again, and curses under his breath as he hurries back to his room.

“I’ll call myself from your phone, so we have each other’s numbers. What’s your passcode?” she asks, calling to him, and that’s when he remembers that he’d put his phone on the fold-out table so he wouldn’t forget it.

He yells his passcode over his shoulder - Amy’s birthday, a combination of 0’s and 5’s and 4’s - as he scrambles to find socks. He hears her phone ring a moment later, having called herself from his phone. “Now you have mine and I have yours,” she explains as he steps out of his room.

Amy’s finding Rey’s shirt entertaining, small hands stroking the soft cotton and poking at the bright colors splattered on the fabric. Rey coos softly, reaching down to press a kiss to Amy’s head. The 5 month old curls into the girl, hands finding a strand of dark brown hair next. Ben winces as Amy tugs at Rey’s hair, but relaxes a bit when Rey just laughs and pulls her hair from the baby’s fist.

“I can’t thank you enough,” he insists. “I’ll be back by 6, at the very very latest.”

“My class doesn’t start until 7,” she assures him. “We’ll be fine.” She turns Amy towards him for a goodbye kiss. He leans in and presses a kiss to her chubby cheek, squeezing her small hand. He doesn’t pull away until Rey pushes at his shoulder.

“You have to go,” she tells him, as if he doesn’t already know.

“Right,” he replies, nodding. “She’s started on solids, so there’s cereal and formula in the far left cabinet and some premade in the freezer. There’s also some avocado around here somewhere as well. Again, there are instructions for it on the fridge, but I can also text you if you want it there too-“

“Ben.” It sounds like an order, and his heart drops with the idea of leaving her. Though Rey seems capable already, it still makes him absolutely nauseous. He bends and chances one last kiss to his daughter’s cheek before straightening up again.

“Right.” He fiddles with the strap of his briefcase as he swings it over his shoulder. “I don’t suppose it would be too much to ask for an update every hour?”

Rey shakes her head, bouncing Amy on her hip slightly. Her eyes are on the child, but she’s speaking to Ben as she says, “Don’t worry about it. I can do that.”

“It doesn’t have to be on the hour,” he insists. “I’d just like-“

“I’ll send you updates,” Rey insists. “Now go before you’re late.”

He nods. “Thank you again.” He feels his heart clench in his chest as he closes the door behind him, and bites his lip as he starts towards the office. He casts a glance back at the building no less than a dozen times, trying to find their window on the front of the apartment complex.

His worries are abated when, not even fifteen minutes later, his phone buzzes. He opens the message to a picture of Amy on Rey’s lap, the baby stroking at the scratchy paint on the hem of Rey’s shirt. It’s accompanied by the caption, ‘She likes color’, with a smiley face emoji.

He smiles softly before continuing his walk as quickly as he possibly can without tripping.

-

True to her word, Rey updates him. Every hour or so, there’s a new photo or video waiting for him in his messages. He looks forward to hearing the sounds his daughter makes, to seeing her cooing and clapping clumsily at something Rey does. Rey’s not often in them, the camera focused on Amy as she does tummy time or bounces in her swing.

“You need new batteries for this,” Rey tells him in the video from 4:00. He can see her foot at the bottom of the mechanized swing. She’s the one making it move, much to Amy’s delight. His daughter reaches towards Rey’s blue-painted toes. “It just died on us. I’ll check if I have some when you get home.”

Sometimes he catches glimpses of the sitter’s work, papers covered in drawings and measurements and numbers piled on top of the boxes that are currently their ‘coffee table’. He can’t decipher any of them, his mind accustomed to working with words more than numbers. But the drawings tell him that she’s smart, at least, and artistic, and he feels a bit better about entrusting her with Amy.

He’s exhausted by the time work lets out, handing Hux the prospective book he’s been reading through with the pages marked in plenty of red. “Not bad,” he tells the redhead. “But not exactly good.”

Hux nods his assent, moving past the new father into his own office. Ben watches him go and books it out of there as soon as possible with a nod to Phasma in her office.

The walk to his apartment is entirely too long, and he practically stumbles through the door, dropping his briefcase on the way. It hits the floor by the door with a heavy clunk, and Rey’s smile when her head snaps up is brilliant enough that it makes his heart skip a beat.

“Daddy’s home!”

Rey’s grinning at him from the floor of the living room, Amy propped up in her lap. The older girl has graph and lined paper surrounding her, as well as an assortment of pens and colored pencils. Amy’s holding a ball of graph paper in her tiny hands, feeling the roughness of it with curious fingers. Ben walks towards them, opening his hands. Rey lifts the baby up so that he can take her, and he sweeps Amy into his arms. The little girl coos, curling into him while still holding loosely onto the ball of paper.

“How was she?” he demands, looking at his daughter and automatically checking her for any injuries or marks.

“A little angel,” Rey says as she starts to pack up her things, putting her pencils and drafting supplies in their corresponding cases. “Except for when it came to eating.”

“No luck?”

“Oh, there was luck,” Rey says. “She likes avocado so much she was nearly sick afterwards. Happy as a clam, just very messy.” She points to a spot on her shirt that’s definitely not paint, green mush pressed into the fabric.

He looks down at Amy, raising an eyebrow at his little daughter. “Really?”

“Really. Also, you need a high chair soon, now that she’s started on solids.”

“Noted.” He looks towards Rey, who’s now picking up her papers. “What major are you?”

“Industrial design,” she explains. “Which explains all the paper and drafting supplies.” She swings her backpack up and over her shoulders. “Do you need me tomorrow?”

“Yes, please.”

“7:30?”

“If that still works for you.” She smiles, and again he feels as if the room is lit from her presence alone. “I’ll be here.”

“Thank you,” he insists, cradling Amy and then shifting her so that she’s on his hip. “Thank you so much.”

She waves her hand in dismissal, and then in farewell as she leaves the apartment. He watches her go before looking down to Amy who has yet again found his tie.

“Did you have fun, princess?” he asks, bouncing her a bit to get her to look at him instead of the piece of fabric. His tie’s apparently more entertaining than he is.

-

5 months, 6 days
Wednesday

He creates a new folder on his laptop the next day, saving all of the photos and videos to a folder titled ‘Amy’. He’d titled it ‘Amy & Rey’ at first, before deciding it was best to just title it with his daughter’s name.

He has a few favorites, mainly the short, 15 second video clip where Rey shows him that his daughter really likes her crinkly, bright green turtle toy. Amy’s small fingers are pretty much fascinated with the fabric and the sound that it makes. Her face is one of pure joy whenever it crinkles particularly loudly, and he can see Rey grinning behind her.

-

5 months, 1 week and 1 day
Friday

By the time Friday comes around, he has a large collection of Amy and Rey media in the folder - pictures, videos, small story snippets and sound recordings of his daughter’s gurgles and coos and Rey’s resulting laughter. He looks at and listens to them when he has a chance to, picking a picture Rey shot with the phone wide-ways as his desktop background. Amy’s lying on the floor on her stomach, supported by a pillow. Rey’s papers can be seen spread around the floor, some of the corners a bit green from Amy’s lunch. Pencils and pens are spread around her as well, and Rey must’ve found his glasses beside the air mattress because they’re perched on Amy’s head. It had come with the caption ‘like father like daughter’, teasing that it was actually Amy working and not Rey.

When he returns that night, it’s to an empty living room. He’d worked later than he’d planned, and Rey’d assured him that she actually didn’t have classes on Friday, much to his relief. He didn’t know what he would’ve done if she’d had to go to class and take his daughter with her.

Trying to quell the fear that clenches his heart at the empty room, he rushes through the hallway leading to the bedrooms. Seeing a dim blue light coming from his daughter’s room, he stops in the doorway and stares at the scene before him.

Rey's watching a movie on her laptop with Amy fast asleep on her chest, the computer balanced on top of two boxes labeled ‘BOOKS’ while the girls are sprawled sideways across the plush rocking chair. He can hear some of the lines from Star Wars playing softly from her speakers, and sets his briefcase down as quietly as he can. Apparently it’s not quiet enough, seeing as Rey turns her head towards him with a smile.

“Episode IV?” he asks softly, toeing his shoes off at the door before walking over. She nods, careful not to jostle the baby sleeping on her chest.

“The originals are the best,” she whispers as he walks over. She moves her feet slightly so that he can sit next to the chair, on the floor, without getting hit in the head by her foot. He takes the space gratefully, watching as Han, Luke and Leia are almost crushed by the trash compactor. The volume’s low enough that their yelling and screaming is dull, barely hearable through the small speakers, but the captions are on.

“How long has she been asleep?” he asks quietly, looking towards his daughter. There’s a bit of Amy’s drool on Rey’s white t-shirt, and he feels himself flush slightly in embarrassment even though he knows from experience that drool with a 5 month old is entirely unavoidable.

“About a half hour,” she explains, her hand on the little girl’s back. “We had a bit of trouble today. She didn’t want to go down for her second nap.”

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes, and Rey shakes her head as gently as she can without waking Amy.

“Don’t worry about it. Walked her around the apartment a few times, no big deal.” She leans down to press a kiss to Amy’s head. “She’s cute enough that it was worth it.”

“Thank you,” he says, gazing softly at the both of them. He feels like he’s inclined to say that his daughter takes after her mother, but he doesn’t want questions tonight, so he remains quiet as Rey’s hand moves to stroke his daughter’s downy hair. Amy whines at the contact, and both adults freeze as she wiggles on Rey’s chest. A split second later she cries out, and Ben stands to scoop her up.

“Nice while it lasted,” Rey mutters, sitting up and stretching as Ben cradles Amy to his chest, kissing the top of her head. He watches as Rey twists and turns, having been still for too long. He winces at the ‘pop’ that her back makes when she arches, but blushes slightly at her soft moan of relief. His eyes dart down when Amy whines again, but she seems to recognize her dad and rests her head on his chest, falling asleep again almost immediately.

Ben snorts, rocking her slightly. “And now I have to find a way to get her to bed,” he whispers, shaking his head as gently as he can. “Thank you, for everything.”

Rey shakes her head back at him before looking around the pretty much bare room. “… did the moving van get lost, or did you really leave everything behind?” she asks. “I noticed the air mattress in your room.”

“Left everything behind. A lot of it wasn’t exactly baby-proof-able,” he explains as he walks to the crib, clutching Amy to his chest. “Hold on, this won’t take too long.” She nods, and walks out to the living room as he puts Amy to bed. It’s a struggle since her small fingers cling to his lapels, but he eventually gets her off. He stays there for a few more moments than strictly necessary, just looking down at her in the small pop-up crib.

His daughter looks more like her mother, her slightly big ears perhaps the only thing he contributed to her genes. He’ll apologize more than a thousand times for them in the future, he knows. Or she might grow into them better than he had grown into his - he honestly has no idea. He watches her sleep for a few more moments, allowing himself the quiet peace of her gentle breathing and small, content noises before he walks back to the living room.

Rey’s leaning against the kitchen counter, waiting for him. Her jeans are a little worse for the wear, her skin showing through the tears, and he can see that they’ve been patched a few times. She’s wearing one of her work shirts, multi-colored paints covering the white fabric at random intervals. Her shoes are abandoned by the door, old sneakers held together by sheer stubbornness at this point.

“She really is a sweetheart,” she tells him, smiling up at him as he joins her in the kitchen. “I love taking care of her.”

“Thank you, so much,” he says, settling against the counter across from her. He’s not used to the small U shaped space, much more acclimated to his big, open kitchen back in New York. But he’s getting to know the cupboards and drawers, and it’s a bit less trial and error now in terms of where everything is.

“I can take care of her tomorrow, if you want to go out somewhere,” she offers, and he just stares at her. The thought of going out hadn’t even occurred to him, to be honest. He hesitates, wondering for a moment who he would even go out with. Hux? Phasma? Both viable options, if he wasn’t sick of them by the end of the day. Plus he found Amy’s company much more pleasurable than Hux’s, by a long shot.

“I can’t,” he says, shaking his head. “I’d like to spend time with her. I feel awful for dumping her on you.”

She snorts. “Please. Take care of an adorable little girl while getting homework done, and get paid for it? It’s a dream, really.”

“Oh, right.” He pushes himself off of the counter, walking to the briefcase and pulling his checkbook out. “I’ve never paid for a babysitter before. I don’t know how much-“

“Just two hundred will do, one if you can't swing it. I don't know how to price it, really, I've never been paid for it before,” she offers, pushing off of the counter as well, and he nods. He jots down the larger number she gave him with an extra twenty bucks on top as a tip, tears the check off, and offers it to her as she walks over.

“Thank you, really,” he says as she takes the slip of paper and tucks it in her pocket. “Will you be available next week?” She nods, and he gives her a relieved smile. “Fantastic. If you wouldn’t mind-“

“Not at all.”

“Thank you.” She shakes her head, grinning up at him, and his stomach does the strange flip-flop thing that he’s started to associate with her smile. “Stop thanking me, Ben. It’s really no problem. I’ll see you on Monday?”

“See you on Monday,” he affirms, nodding at her and trying to ignore how the way she said his name makes his stomach do somersaults even harder. He watches as she packs up her things, gives one last wave, and watches to make sure that she gets into her apartment safely. As soon as her door shuts behind her, he closes his own. And immediately wishes he has something aside from an air mattress to collapse face-down onto.

-

5 months, 1 week and 2 days - 5 months, 1 week and 3 days
Saturday and Sunday

The weekend’s uneventful, as far as his weekends go. He takes Amy to the farmer’s market around the corner, her small body tucked into the baby backpack strapped to his chest as he walks around and gathers food for the both of them. Though he doesn’t have a bed, he does have a food processor so that he can make her food homemade when he has time. As he picks up some zucchini, he briefly wonders if his priorities might be a bit skewed before putting it in the bag.

He works on his book as much as he can with Amy rocking in the swing beside him. He’s propped himself up against the wall near one of the outlets, a spare pillow behind his back and his glasses perched on his nose as he types. He deletes more than he adds, much to his disappointment.

It does, however, comfort him slightly that his daughter has no idea about his inner turmoil and obvious frustration, content with her swing and simple thoughts. Rey had kindly given him batteries for it, and his daughter swings happily as he works, trying to put her foot in her mouth. He looks at her more than he looks at the screen, if he’s honest with himself, smiling softly at her little giggles. He tries peek-a-boo once, but she’s too distracted by the bouncing turtle above her to take notice of him.

-

5 months, 1 week and 5 days
Tuesday

Amy wakes up at 3am Tuesday morning, screaming at the top of her lungs - it’s loud enough that he’s sure half of Bespin can hear her. He launches himself off of the half-deflated air mattress, running into her room. He knows before he even reaches her that it’s gas, the sound of her cry and Daddy-Spidey senses helping him with the cause. It’s rare now that he’s started the milk/cereal mixture with her as well as other more solid foods, but he still scoops her up and hoists her over his shoulder, patting on her back until she burps.

Unfortunately, while it quiets her, it doesn’t get her back to sleep. Instead she mouths at his bare shoulder, and he sighs as he walks out to the hallway, unlocking his door and grabbing his keys just in case as he steps out.

To his surprise, he almost runs right into Rey.

She looks like she vaulted out of bed as well. He stares down at her, eyes wide. Her hair’s free from its usual updos, falling down around her freckled shoulders. He’s unused to seeing so much of her skin, noting the loose tank top, the sweatpants that reveal a strip of tan skin where the waistband and the hem of her shirt don’t cover, and her obvious lack of bra.

He also notes how Amy practically falls towards her, pitching out of his arms and towards Rey. He lets her go, the college girl reaching out instinctively to cradle the little girl to her chest. He watches, a bit lost, as Amy tugs on Rey’s hair, calm but wide awake.

“Gas,” he explains awkwardly. He’s suddenly aware of the fact that he’s shirtless, but Rey doesn’t seem to notice, her brown eyes entirely focused on the baby in her arms. He acknowledges, admittedly not for the first time, that they look like Amy’s in their warmth. He always thought of his as the color of coffee that’s been sitting on a desk for far too long, cold and dull.

If she thinks it’s weird that he’s walking outside the apartment shirtless with an awake Amy, she doesn’t say anything, instead letting the baby tug at her hair wordlessly. She bounces his daughter a bit, and turns to walk down the hallway. Ben watches her as she walks to the end and back, rocking and soothing Amy with soft ‘shushing’ sounds. Hers sound a lot quieter and a lot more calming than the shushes he’s ever made, to his dismay. He bites his bottom lip as she makes the round two more times, the final time returning with a fast asleep babe in her arms.

“How did you do that?” he whispers as she grins at him, victorious. “It takes me three hours sometimes.”

“I know - I can hear you pacing. My bedroom’s right here.” She jerks her head towards the wall next to her, and he’s overcome with embarrassment as he realizes just how often he’s walked by that wall with a fussy - sometimes screaming - Amy.

“Oh my God,” he mutters, running a hand down his face. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” she whispers back before nodding to his door. “I would hand her to you, but I think she likes my tank top,” she explains. He looks down and sees that Amy is clutching one of the straps, the heather-grey fabric victim to her tiny fist. He turns, walking forward and opening the door for them. Rey steps through, still holding his daughter close to her.

He follows them back to Amy’s bedroom, and watches as Rey sets her down in the crib. He leans against the doorway as Rey stays for a few moments longer than necessary, leaning over the crib and talking softly. He can’t make out many words, instead just listening to the calm hush of her accented voice.

Eventually she straightens, having rescued her top from Amy. She grins as she walks over to him, shooing him out of the room so that she can close the door a bit. “She’s fine,” she assures him. “My bets are on her sleeping through the rest of the night.”

He sighs in relief. They were getting better, or rather he was getting better at finding out what plagued his daughter and fixing it one way or another. “Thank you,” he sighs. “It’s getting easier, but it’s still a new place to her.”

“Understandable,” she says. “Where’d you move from?”

“Upstate New York.”

“Small town to big city?”

“Something like that.” She nods, leaning against the wall. He leans against the opposite, their positions mirroring their countertop discussion a few days before. “What brings you to Bespin?” she asks. “I know some about the daughter, but very little about her father.” She tilts her head with something akin to a smirk gracing her pretty lips, a strand of dark brown hair falling into her face. He resists the urge to brush it away, instead watching as she does it herself.

“Job,” he explains curtly. “And … wanting to get away from things. Certain people.”

She stares at him, and he braces himself for a slew of questions. But they never come. Instead, she looks towards the living room. “You really need furniture.”

He follows her gaze to the empty room, boxes still acting as makeshift tables. “IKEA’s a bit difficult to navigate with a five month old. Those flat carts don’t exactly have child seats.”

“I could go with you,” she offers. He hesitates for a moment, unsure. But the idea of actually having furniture in his home is too tempting to ignore. He can picture a home, colorful and bright and thankfully cheap thanks to the Swedish brand. He nods. “If you’d like to.”

“I’d love to. I can even rope in some more hands,” she explains. “My best friends, Poe and Finn. Finn has a pickup truck.”

He’s seriously starting to think that she’s an angel, given to him by some generous deity to make his life better and a hell of a lot easier. He lets out a sigh of relief and nods eagerly. “Yes. Yes, that would be fantastic, thank you.”

“I’ll bring my drill,” she pipes, and he resists the urge to laugh out loud at how eager she looks to be able to construct something. He’s seen some of her sketches, of the way she draws out instructions for the things she designs. It’s no surprise that she’s excited to be able to put something together on her own time.

“Saturday?” he offers.

She nods. “I would offer tomorrow after you get off of work, but I have a test the next morning and I have the feeling this is going to be an all day thing,” she says. “Sorry if it messes up any of your weekend plans…?”

He shakes his head. “No plans.” He has a child, now - any plans of anything that doesn’t involve Amy are out the window. He recalls nights at bars back in New York, heart lonely and tongue tasting of bourbon. He remembers sometimes driving to the big city and losing himself amongst the nightlife, wandering gum-coated pavements. He doesn’t look back on those nights fondly. “Saturday would be great.”

“Great.” She grins at him, looking back at Amy’s room one more time before giving him a small wave. “Well, I’ll see you in the morning?”

“See you in the morning,” he confirms, walking her to the door. Again, he watches until she’s safely in her own apartment. This time he lingers a bit longer, staring at the place where she’d been before returning to his own ‘bed’.

-

5 months, 2 weeks
Thursday

He’s surprised his mom managed to not call him every single day. He guesses he has his dad to thank for the small lengths of silence. But he knew she’d call again eventually, and he’s only just put Amy to bed when his phone starts to vibrate against the floor of his bedroom.

He settles down on the air mattress before reaching for the device and answering it. “Hey, Mom.”

“How’s our granddaughter?” she demands as soon as he answers. He sighs, running a hand down his face. “Good,” he says. “She’s doing really well. We’ve started her on solid foods, and she’s starting to sleep through the night more.”

“We?”

Apparently he’s on speakerphone. Fuck. Han sounds incredulous, and Ben can hear Leia shushing him. Ben inwardly curses at his use of the plural pronoun.

“WE?” Han repeats, sounding aghast.

“The sitter,” Ben explains quickly. “My neighbor, Rey. She babysits Amy while I’m at work. She goes to college around here, and her classes are in the evening so she can do it.”

“If you’d told us you were struggling with taking care of her-“

“Mom, I can take care of her on my own,” he insists. “Rey’s just the easier option.”

“But the more expensive one,” his father mutters. Ben can’t deny that, but he says nothing as he hears his mother scoff at Han’s words.

“Those pictures I’ve been sending you?” Ben asks. “Yeah, Rey took them.”

“Did she? She’s a very talented photographer,” Leia says. “They’re adorable!”

“Kid has your ears,” Han pipes. “Tell her I say ‘sorry’.”

“Han.”

“What? It’s true.”

Ben rolls his eyes as his mother continues to scold his father over the phone. “Is there a reason you called?” he sighs, running a hand through his hair again and flipping onto his back. The mattress squeaks and creaks as he does so, and he winces at the loudness of the sounds. He’s hyper-aware of Amy in the other room, but she doesn’t cry out and the baby monitor doesn’t shriek, so he thinks he’s all right.

“I just wanted to know how you were doing,” Leia insists. He can still hear Han muttering in the background. “Do you need us to come down?”

“No, I’m fine,” he mutters. “Though some extra funds to furnish the place would be appreciated. I’m sleeping on an air mattress.”

“There he goes, asking for money.”

“Oh, shut up,” his mother says to her husband. “I’ll transfer some money into your account.”

“Thanks, Mom.” He sighs, relieved that he doesn’t have to worry about budgeting on their trip to IKEA. Amy’s room would come first, of course, but maybe with his parents help he could maybe, maybe afford a couch and a bookshelf as well. Sleeping on a couch might be a bit more comfortable than an air mattress, at the very least.

“Leia-“

“Your father’s hungry,” his mother interjects, and Ben smirks as Han mutters again, something that sounds like ‘unbelievable’. “I’ll call you soon, okay?”

“Okay.”

The series of goodbyes are a bit too long for his taste, but they eventually happen and he hangs up much to his relief. The phone falls from his had to the floor with a clatter and he freezes. Amy whines from her room, and he shifts immediately, on high alert and waiting for her to wake up. Much to his relief, no sound follows the whine.

He allows himself to relax, if only for a moment.

-

5 months, 2 weeks and 1 day
Friday

The more pictures he receives, the more he starts to think of it as the ‘Amy and Rey’ folder instead of just the ‘Amy’ folder. There are a few pictures of the both of them now, selfies taken by Rey while Amy’s settled in her lap. His daughter looks more than content to be resting against a chest much cushier than his own, Rey’s slender arms wrapped around her as Amy mouths at her toys.

Occasionally he’ll be sent an out of focus, very random photo taken by Amy herself, her sticky fingers having gotten ahold of Rey’s phone.

Hux sees a picture, once. It’s a cute one of Rey leaning over Amy’s shoulder, Amy’s favorite giraffe toy in the baby’s mouth. There’s plenty of drool on Amy’s end, sure, but both of them are smiling and happy and radiant, in his opinion. Rey has graphite smudged from her drafting stick on her cheek, and he can see some on Amy’s hands as well - probably from Rey guiding her hands away from something she shouldn’t be grabbing.

“Girlfriend?” the redhead asks, smirking as he leans over to get a better look. “Bit young, don’t you think?”

“Sitter,” Ben says, perhaps a bit more snappishly than he intended to.

Hus just continues to smirk, dropping off another stack of papers onto his desk. “I need these done by four. Five, if you absolutely have to spend time staring at your child.”

Ben feels shitty for the rest of the day, and ends up sending a few of the pictures including Rey to the trash. He pulls them out not five minutes later, and puts them in a folder disguised as “Tech”, deeply hidden between the printer and software txt files.

Bit young, don’t you think?

-

“Daddy’s home!”

It’s becoming a regular thing, Rey’s calling of “Daddy’s home!” as soon as he opens the door. He’s incredibly grateful it’s Friday as he sets his briefcase by the door, tie already half tugged off by the time he reaches for his daughter.

“Hang on,” Rey warns, reaching a hand out to stop his hands. She holds onto his right hand, stopping him in his tracks. He frowns as he looks at his daughter who’s lying on her back, arms akimbo.

“Why, what’s wrong?” he demands, brain shifting into hyperdrive with worry.

“Nothing! Just watch, she’s so close,” Rey tells him. He notices the pencil in her hair, tucked into one of the three buns she’s taken to wearing. It’s either one or three, but never two, he’d noted.

He tears his eyes away from her when she starts bouncing slightly in excitement, looking back at his daughter. He watches, stunned, as Amy kicks herself over, rocking slightly before finally landing on her stomach, little legs kicking. He stares at her in awe as Rey grins, reaching forward and scooping her up. Amy’s hands immediately reach for the necklace around the student’s neck. Rey wraps her fingers around the chain, keeping it short enough that Amy can’t put the metal in her mouth.

“She did it around lunch time,” Rey explains, letting the baby play with the sealed glass charm, eyes constantly on her fingers just in case. “I’d really hoped she’d do it when you got home, because sometimes it’s kind of a once and done thing, you know? But she’s done it a lot since then.”

He’s smiling too, though he can’t ignore the pang of sadness he feels when he realizes that he wasn’t there for the first time. “She has?”

“Yeah, that was like the fifth today.” She has her hands around Amy’s torso, letting the little girl prop tiny feet on her thighs. Amy giggles brightly as Rey helps her walk up and down her thighs, bouncing her occasionally. “She’s getting pretty good at it, now. So be careful – it’s the next step before she starts becoming mobile,” she warns. Ben watches as she leans back, letting Amy ‘walk’ on her flat stomach. Amy giggles as Rey bucks her hips up, sending her pitching forward slightly - enough for a little thrill.

“Wow,” he says, at loss for any other words as he watches them. Rey’s grinning, playing with his daughter with an ease he wishes he had.

Take care of? That he was good at. But play with?

He suddenly feels lacking next to the 23 year old, watching as Amy lets out a peal of laughter. He settles beside them, not having the heart to tell Rey to go so he could spend some alone time with his daughter. “Would you like to stay for dinner?” he finds himself saying. He hesitates for half a heartbeat before saying, “It’s the least I can do since I was late last week.”

Rey turns her head, looking at him curiously. “Sure, if you’re offering,” she says, lifting Amy again, much to the little girl’s delight. “What were you thinking?” she asks, never taking her eyes off of the baby.

“Pizza?”

“Perfect.”

-

Rey takes it upon herself to walk down to one of the corner stores to get drinks when he revealed that he pretty much only had apple juice, milk, and a small amount of good alcohol given to him by his father, the bottle dusty from lack of use. He sits with Amy in the bedroom, settled into the rocking chair. The pizza’s on the counter in the other room, steaming in its cardboard boxes as he waits for his daughter to fall asleep and the college girl to return.

He lets her coo up at him, his foot on the floor, pushing them back and forth. Her eyes are a lighter brown than his, bright and beautiful. Everything about her simply screams her mother, and he’s spent a good amount of time trying to figure out whether it’s better or worse for his heart that she looks like her. As of yet, he hasn’t decided.

Ben’s startled out of his thoughts when Amy makes a sound that’s a cross between a hiccup and a yawn, and he snorts in amusement. The sound seems to startle her, and she looks up at him in surprise, eyes wide and curious. He smiles softly down at her, lifting her slightly to press his lips to her forehead. “Time to go to sleep, princess,” he tells her. He stands and walks over to the crib, setting her down on the firm mattress. She struggles for a moment, clinging to his hands. He pries his fingers away as easily as he can, resting his hands on the side of the crib and instead watching her. Whereas a week ago she’d fuss, instead she puts her own fingers in her mouth to sate herself. He smiles and strokes her cheek before reaching up to adjust the towel-curtains.

… the towel-curtains that aren’t there anymore.

He frowns as he sees the black fabric that’s replaced them, thick and heavy and very effective at keeping the light out. They’re nothing like his rigged curtains, nicely made and put up securely. He stares at them for another moment, before hearing the door open to the living room.

He gives Amy one last kiss, right on her chubby little cheek, before walking out into the living room again. Rey’s sitting on the counter beside the boxes of pizza, two bottles of Coke beside her as well as two bottles of water. She’s swinging her feet, stopping them just before they’d hit the cabinets below. “Hey, hope this is okay,” she says, offering him one of the Coke bottles as he walks towards her. “I saw the empty bottle in your briefcase on Monday and figured you liked it.”

She’s not wrong. He takes the bottle from her and leans against the opposite counter. “Did you replace my curtains?”

Her smile threatens to split her cheeks. “I was wondering when you’d notice. Yeah, on Wednesday.”

“Why? Did you pay for them? Did you put them up yourself?”

“Because towel curtains look awful and fall down a lot. No, I didn’t pay for them. And yes, I did put them up myself.”

He blinks, the rest of his face emotionless. “… where’d you get them?”

“Poe had them from BB,” she explains, grabbing her own bottle and unscrewing it. Rey holds it over the floor as it hisses. It doesn’t bubble too much, though, and when she’s satisfied with the lack of foam she pulls it back in, putting the bottle to her lips. He watches as she takes a swig of the soda, waiting for her answer. She finishes a moment later, sighing and wiping her lips. “They had them in a back closet, honestly. I thought I’d ask if they still had the blackout curtains, and it turns out they did. Finn brought them over after you left for work on Wednesday morning, and I had her in the swing while I put them up. Don’t worry, she was in the same room.”

“I wasn’t worried.” It’s a flat out lie, and she knows it. He can see her smile around the lip of her soda bottle. “I was just wondering.”

“Think of it as a gift from one parent to another,” she explains, gesturing towards him with the bottle. “Well, a gift from a friend of parents to another parent. BB is 4 now, so he doesn’t really need them anymore. He likes more light now. The kid has more glow in the dark stickers in his room than anyone else I know.”

“Do you know a lot of people with glow in the dark stickers in their room?”

She tilts the bottle in his direction, tilting her head slightly with a knowing grin. “I know me?”

He snorts. He reaches for the pizza box, opening the cardboard and letting the smell of pizza waft through the apartment. The cheese has been given plenty of time to settle, and he’s grateful for it as he reaches for a piece. He’s surprised when her small fingers dart forward and cut him off, taking a piece of pepperoni pizza without a plate. Ben watches her as she cradles the slice with one hand easily, guiding it to her mouth.

“I take it you eat pizza a lot,” he says, smirking as he takes his own piece and puts it on one of the paper plates she’d bought with the drinks. Rey shrugs, her mouth full. He offers her a plate, smirk broadening as she takes it sheepishly. She sets the piece on it, finishing chewing and swallowing.

“I’m a college student. Of course I eat pizza a lot,” she tells him once she can speak again. “Thank you, by the way.”

“It’s the least I can do.” He takes a bite of his pizza, and outright moans. He tries to have a healthy lifestyle, he really does. He brought Amy with him to the market with him on Sunday, filling their basket with fruits and vegetables for the food he’s trying so hard to make by hand for her. But sometimes pizza is needed. After all, he thinks, absence makes the heart grow fonder - or stronger, or whatever it was. Rey’s watching him, amused, as he practically devours his first piece, his fingers left greasy with orange oil.

“… what?” he asks once he’s finished, grabbing a paper towel from the nearby dispenser. She smirks around her own piece.

“Nothing,” she says, still smiling.

They eat in silence after that, the only sound being their soda as it fizzes softly every time one of them takes a sip. She takes one of the boxes, slipping four leftover pieces inside of it as he puts two in the other box. She leaves briefly to slip her box into her fridge, and he takes the time to retreat to his bedroom, fishing out more comfortable clothes from the boxes that have yet to be entirely unpacked. He’d moved the security lock in between the door and the frame so she can get back in without taking his key, and he hears her return as he’s pulling his t-shirt over his head, the door closing behind her.

When he comes back out to the living room, she has one of her sketchbooks in her lap and a pen tucked behind her ear. She’s sitting smack dab in the middle of the room, her back propped up against a few of the boxes containing his books. “Figured we’d make a list of the things we need,” she explains as he settles down across from her. “A bed and a mattress, for one thing. No way in hell are you sleeping on that thing for another month.”

He says nothing as she jots the two words down in neat print. ‘BEN’S ROOM’ is already written at the top, underlined and in caps. “Dresser?” he offers. She nods and writes it down.

“Bedside table?”

She jots that down, too.

It turns into a comfortable little back and forth. Rey shifts often, crosslegged to kneeling to having her legs spread out in front of her. When she spreads her legs out, her feet almost touch his knee. He resists the urge to smile when he sees that her toe nails are now painted bright orange. She finally settles with her knee pulled up, acting as a desk for her sketchbook. The other is stretched out towards him, her toes brushing against the fabric of his sweatpants.

“All right, so we have beds and dressers and living room stuff,” she says, her words slightly muffled from the pen hanging from her lips. “Kitchen.”

“Utensils, plates, and cups,” he says. He watches as she pulls the pen from her mouth and starts writing again. “I have knives in a box somewhere. Organizers, if they have them.”

“It’s IKEA, of course they have organizers,” she mumbles around the pen cap. “Anything else?”

“Desk,” he says.

She looks up at him and grins, jotting it down. “Desk. Bookshelves?” She taps the pen against one of the ‘BOOKS’ boxes currently acting as her back support.

“Bookshelves.”

By the time they have a decent list and the measurements from the notes in his phone back from the open house, it’s past 10. The window in the living room shows a not-so-sleeping city, the streetlights bright and warm. He’s sitting so that his ankles are crossed, his knees bent upwards and elbows resting on top of his knees. She’s changed to sitting crosslegged, though she’s pulled her legs out from under her a few times to wake her feet up again.

“All right,” Rey says, turning a few pages. The list is at least two long. She folds the paper along the perforated line and tears it out as quietly as she can. She offers him the list, reaching across the floor to hand it to him. “That’s a good set of basics, for now. You might be able to get some deals online, too, for some of the more high-end stores out there. But I figure that $17 dollar tables will do for the time being, and you can get the expensive pieces later.”

He nods, dark eyes scanning the list. If there’s something he’s forgotten, it can’t be too important. Amy’s room is the main agenda, in his opinion, and they seem to have everything written down. He notices that very important things are underlined once, twice, or even three times. He smirks a bit when he sees that his bed has been underlined four times, with the high chair underlined three.

“You really don’t want me sleeping on that air mattress,” he teases.

“It can’t be good for your back,” she insists, shifting so that she mirrors his position. “And I doubt you fit on all of it. I bet your feet stick off of it, don’t they?”

“My feet stick off of most beds.”

“Maybe you should stop being so damn tall, then.”

He allows himself a soft snort, shaking his head as he folds the list up. “Thank you.”

Rey shrugs as he stands, shifting and stretching to alleviate the tightness in his muscles. “It’s no problem, really. Finn and Poe are already on board. Do you mind if a rambunctious little boy comes along?”

“Not at all.”

“Then we’re good.” She offers her hands to him. “Help me up?”

He obliges, bending to take Rey's hands. Her left hand’s slightly sweaty from holding the pen for so long, but he doesn’t say anything as he tugs her to her feet. She stumbles slightly, almost right into him, as she gets her bearings again. He holds onto her hands for longer than strictly necessary as she regains the feeling in her legs again.

“Sorry,” she admits, grinning sheepishly up at him. He can count her freckles from how close they are, a little sprinkling of brown dots across her nose and cheeks. There are some on her forehead, too, though not as many. “Feet’re asleep,” she explains.

“It’s fine,” he mutters. He lets go of her hands once she seems to get her balance again, though he lets go reluctantly.

They’re close, too close to be professional. He can’t move, can’t breathe, can’t think. She doesn’t seem to have the same problem. She smiles up at him as he looks down at her. It’s a soft, understanding sort of smile as she steps back, gesturing to the list in his pocket. “I’ll be here at 9?”

It takes him entirely too long to respond. He blinks, her words registering dimly in the back of his mind. He finds himself nodding, agreeing to something he didn’t entirely hear.

“Great. Do you have a car carrier? Stroller?”

Again, he nods, this time a bit more aware of what she just asked him. “It’s in the hall closet.”

“Perfect.” She wipes her hands on her jeans before bending to get her things. “See you tomorrow, then.”

“Let me walk you to your door?” The words tumble from his lips before he can stop them. He immediately wants to smack himself on the forehead for his stupidity.

To his surprise, she just smiles.

“Sure, if you want to.” He nods mutely, and braces the security lock against the frame again so he doesn’t have to take his keys. He makes sure that the door will remain open before walking her the ten or so feet down to her door. He suddenly wishes he had her backpack or something to carry for her, to give himself an excuse for why he’s doing this. She unlocks her door as he watches, standing beside her awkwardly. Just before she slips inside, she turns to grin at him. “9?”

“9,” he confirms, nodding.

“I’ll knock on the door,” she explains, still smiling. “Well, good night.”

He thinks he says good night, or something along those lines, before she closes the door. He finds himself standing there for a moment or two before walking back to his own apartment, pulling the security lock back and slipping inside.

The air mattress is slightly deflated when he walks into the bedroom and settles down on it. He resists the urge to groan as he sinks, feeling very much like he’s in some kind of raft on uneasy waters. Maybe Rey’s right about the whole mattress and bed thing.

-

5 months, 2 weeks and 2 days
Saturday

He’s not used to dressing her for public. He’s used to dressing her for Rey, who doesn’t criticize him for putting a green onesie with blue pants or pink leggings with yellow and orange mismatched socks. To find an entire outfit is kind of nerve wracking, and Amy ends up in the swing in just a diaper, rocking happily as he stares at the assortment of baby clothes before him.

He practically jumps up when the knock at the door comes. He’s half-dressed, in a white v-neck and dark jeans, just needing the black leather jacket he’d picked out and his shoes. He yanks open the door, blinking helplessly at Rey.

She looks good, he thinks. Her eyes look bigger and warmer than usual, though he can’t even begin to comprehend how she’d made that happen. She’s in a cream-colored henley shirt and skinny jeans, brown leather boots covering her feet and most of her calves. She looks really good.

On top of looking good, she also looks like she’s trying not to crack up.

“I need help,” he admits.

“Clearly. Ever heard of a comb? Your bedhead is downright scary,” she teases as she pushes her way past him into the apartment. “What’s up?”

“I can’t dress her,” he blurts. “I mean, I can, but I have no idea how to put any of the outfits together or what the weather’s like or-“

She pushes against his chest, her hands against his pecs as she pushes him back to the bedrooms. “I’ll take care of that, you go fix yourself.”

He obeys once she’s inside of Amy’s room, heading to his own bedroom. She wasn’t wrong. The hair on the left side of his head is a mess, a testimony to the crappy air mattress and how it makes his pillow slide to the floor most nights. He runs a comb through it, followed by his fingers. He’s halfway through getting his Converse on when he hears giggles from both girls coming from the other room.

“Hold still, wiggle worm, you need pants!”

Amy’s laugh is more like a shriek, and he walks down the hallway with untied shoes. He peers into the baby’s room to see Rey with Amy resting on the floor, little legs moving as Rey tries to get pants on her.

“Ben, come here, hold your daughter,” she orders, and he goes to obey. Amy coos up at him and makes grabby hands towards him as he kneels beside Rey. The distraction’s enough for Rey to wiggle the rest of the pants up, the college girl grinning triumphantly as she reaches for a pair of socks. Once those are on the little girl’s feet, Ben’s allowed to scoop her into his arms and rest her on his hip. Rey watches, somewhat breathless.

“Diaper bag?” she questions, tilting her head. Her hair’s pulled into a messy bun on top of her head, and Ben notices as a few strands escape at the movement.

“Hall closet,” he instructs, and she stands to go get the bag. He watches her go, damning himself for momentarily admiring her ass in the skinny jeans she’s wearing. Instead, he lets his attention drift to his daughter. He balances her on his thighs like he’d seen Rey do, and bounces her up and down slightly. She coos and gurgles, even giggling slightly as he lifts her a bit higher. He grins as she does so, lifting her higher again. He lifts her above his head next, enjoying her shriek of delight.

He can do this, he thinks. He can definitely do this.

“Careful!” Rey warns teasingly as she returns with the bag. She sets it down and packs two spare onesies and two more pairs of pants, along with three pairs of socks just in case. She checks the rest of it, making sure they had enough diapers and other supplies. “Food?”

“There are zipbags in the top drawer to the left of the dishwasher,” he tells her, his eyes on Amy as Rey goes to get food for the little girl. He’s grinning as Amy shrieks again. He’s grateful for the workouts he’d done before she was born, his arms barely straining with the effort of lifting his tiny daughter. He bounces her again before setting her down as Rey walks in. She has the carrier from the hall closet in the one hand; the car attachment’s in the other, Amy’s milk and cereal and a jar of butternut squash mush settled into the seat. “I’ll drive you guys over,” she explains as she puts the food in the diaper bag. “Finn’s going to be taking the pickup truck, and Poe has the minivan.”

“Minivan?” he asks, raising a dark eyebrow as he passes Amy over to be set in the carrier. Rey takes her easily, guiding her into the seat. As soon as Amy starts to fuss at being contained, Rey snags the giraffe from the bag and hands it to the baby. Amy’s sated, the horns of the giraffe immediately going into her mouth.

“Minivan,” Rey repeats as she swings the bag over her shoulder. She’s holding the car carrier piece in her other hand, and Ben assumes that the stroller part is out in the living room. “You got her?”

He nods, rushing to the other room to grab his jacket. He returns to pick up Amy in the carrier, allowing himself a small smile as she wiggles against the restraints. “Stay in there, princess. It’s to keep you safe.”

He doesn’t see Rey’s smile as she stares at the two.

She tosses him his keys as they walk out the door. He thanks his dad for his good reflexes, hand reaching up to catch the keys before they fall into Amy’s carrier. “Watch it,” he warns, and the college girl just grins as they head towards the elevator, her with the car piece, the stroller piece, and the diaper bag.

It’s 9:30 on a Saturday morning, and so the city’s fairly quiet as Bespin mornings go. People are milling about, but there’s a quiet hush over the morning. He assumes that people are nursing hangovers from the night before as they walk down to the garage of the apartment building.

Her car’s a little dull red thing, a case of form following function in that there’s not much form at all. He can tell it’s been fixed a few times, the bumper sanded down and painted over. She has to pull out in order for them to get the carrier in properly, the spaces of the garage tight and narrow. He puts the car half of the carrier in as Rey waits beside with Amy, kneeling on the dirty concrete to entertain the little girl. He hears the older girl’s laughter and nearly turns around, but he’s so close to getting the clasp. It ends up taking him another two minutes anyway, and then Rey takes over. Her smaller fingers get it almost immediately, and yet he somehow can’t bring himself to feel jealous or annoyed, especially not when she tosses a smile over her shoulder.

He opts to sit in the back with Amy as Rey drives. He volunteers his phone for the navigation system, putting in the address of the IKEA and setting it in the cupholder. Amy startles at the sound of the robotic woman’s voice coming from the device, turning her head in an attempt to figure out where the voice came from. Ben chuckles at that, and continues to smile as she does it throughout the ride.

Rey’s not a great driver, but she’s a fairly good one. He bites his lip to keep from laughing as she stops herself from cursing a few times. She does curse under her breath, once, damning the driver from New Jersey in front of her who uses his break a bit too often for her liking. It’s a bit too often for Amy’s liking too, seeing as the jolting back and forth makes her cry out.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Ben says, reaching over to soothe her. She grabs at his fingers, and he offers her a toy with a mirror in it that he’d forgotten was even in the diaper bag to begin with. She’s enchanted by the idea of something shiny and reflective, and plays with the small, plush activity cube. It falls on the floor no less than a dozen times, but he would be a bad father if he didn’t pick it up, wouldn’t he? He can see Rey’s eyes in the rearview mirror. He didn’t believe that eyes could smile until he saw hers, watching him as he picks the cube up yet again and hands it back to his daughter.

IKEA’s a twenty minute drive away, so he spends most of his time entertaining Amy. She doesn’t mind the car – a blessing in his opinion, and ends up dozing for about five out of the twenty minutes. He watches her, sacrificing his jacket when the sun slips through the cracks of the buildings. He drapes it over the side of the carrier, smiling when she stops squinting into the light. As cute as the expression was, little eyes need to be protected. He reaches over and braces his arm across the carrier, keeping the jacket on.

They’re about five minutes from the furniture store when Rey’s phone rings. The sound blares through the speakers, startling Amy. Ben watches as she turns yet again to find the strange sound, her head moving in an attempt to find the source. Rey answers, the car making a ‘bloop’ sound as the call’s picked up.

“Rey?”

“Poe!” There’s a grin in her voice. Ben looks towards Rey. She’s smiling as she glances briefly between the call screen and the road.

“Where are you?” The man’s voice comes through the speakers again, further confusing Amy as she tries to find the man who’s not there. Ben snorts, bending down to kiss her fingers in an attempt to distract her.

“Five minutes.”

“Great. Someone’s –“

“AUNTIE REY!”

Ben jumps as a little boy’s voice crows through the speakers. Amy visibly jolts at the sound.

“… excited to see you,” Poe finishes.

Ben hears Rey laugh from the front seat. “Tell him I’ll be there soon, okay? We’re pulling onto the main road now. Four minutes, tops.”

“You hear that, BB? Four minutes.”

The call cuts out a moment later from Poe’s end, and Ben can hear Rey snickering.

“So BB is his son?” Ben asks, frowning as he tries to put everything together.

“Mhm. BB is four,” Rey explains, looking back at him in the rearview mirror. “BB is Poe’s.”

“Mom still in the picture?”

“Adoption. Think Juno scenario.”

Ben hums, frowning. “And Finn is…?”

“Poe’s boyfriend.”

“I see,” he replies as Amy tries to suckle on his thumb. He lets her, not caring as he meets Rey’s eyes in the rearview mirror. Rey turns ever so slightly to smile at him, but turns right back around when he gestures that the light’s turned green. She turns and pulls into the parking lot, navigating the lanes and shoppers as best as she can.

He sees the family immediately, a dark-haired man standing next to a white-blond-haired child who’s bouncing excitedly as Rey pulls in a few spaces back from them. She barely has time to open her door before the little kid is rushing towards her, barreling into her and nearly knocking her over. Ben snorts as she lets out a soft ‘oof’ as she’s tackled, her lithe arms wrapping around the little boy and scooping him up onto her hip. “Hey, BB!”

“What does BB stand for?” Ben asks as he gets out as well, walking around to Amy’s side of the car to unlatch her.

“Bryce Bennett,” the dark haired male explains as he gets closer. He’s a good deal shorter than Ben, but looks friendly enough in dark jeans, a black t-shirt and what looks like an old military jacket. Ben’s surprised when he sees that the man has some grey at his temples. He would’ve figured that he was Rey’s age, a young father, but no – he looks to be about Ben’s, probably a bit older. The man offers a tan hand, grinning. “Poe.”

“Ben.” He shakes the other father’s hand, looking towards the little boy currently rambling to Rey. She watches in rapt interest, holding him on her hip as he talks to her. “Do I have that to look forward to?”

“And a lot more,” Poe teases. “You need any help getting her?”

“I think I have it.” He reaches down and unlatches her, pulling the carrier out and setting it on the ground for the time being. He reaches across to grab the diaper bag as Poe crouches, grinning down at Amy. Ben watches in surprise as she immediately stops nomming on her giraffe, and instead reaches towards Poe. The other man grins, reaching towards her. She grabs onto his hand and immediately tries to put Poe’s fingers in her mouth.

“Amy, no,” Ben tries, but Poe waves him off with his free hand.

“Don’t worry about it – I kind of missed it,” Poe assures him, grinning even as his fingers are quickly becoming coated in drool. He turns to see what his son’s doing, and Ben watches as the other father’s face immediately hardens into something that’s half annoyed, half amused. He pulls his fingers gently from Amy’s mouth and stands, his hands on his hips. “BB! Rey’s not a tree, and you’re not a monkey.”

Ben looks up to see that the two have somehow contorted themselves into a strange position that ends with BB upside-down and Rey’s arms tangled with his legs. She rights him almost immediately, pulling the little boy around and letting him hook his legs around her waist in a piggy-back position. “I can carry him, really,” she insists, bouncing the four year old and laughing at his shriek of delight. “He’s not that heavy.”

Poe sighs, shaking his head at the two. “You spoil him, you know that?” he asks, before looking towards Ben. “You need any help?”

The new father shakes his head. “I’m all right, thanks.” He swings the diaper bag over his shoulder and opens the trunk, getting the stroller out. He sets it up before picking Amy up and setting the carrier into it, adjusting all the bars and straps and security features so that she’s safe. Once it’s all set, he starts to walk beside Rey and BB with Poe in the lead. Rey occasionally bounces, the little boy on her back laughing brightly whenever he goes a bit higher or a bit lower.

Ben’s focus is on Amy. She doesn’t look too upset to be in the stroller, content with her giraffe and the dangling stroller toys attached to the handle of the carrier.

“Got the list?” Rey asks as they walk in. He’s hit in the face with the smell of the food court, of wood and plastic. He looks up at the large space, glancing briefly towards the available daycare before deciding against it. Between him and Rey, they’ll have Amy covered.

Realizing that Rey asked him a question, he raises one dark eyebrow at her. After she repeats herself, he pulls the list out from his pocket, tilting it at her. “Got it.”

-

Finn meets them a bit into the show room, in the office section. Ben’s kind of surprised at how easily he fits into the little family, slipping in without notice. One moment Poe’s standing with Amy as Ben sits at a desk to try the height, and then the next another man is standing next to Poe and kissing the father’s cheek. “Sorry I’m late – accident on 42nd,” the man mutters.

Ben, in his surprise at Finn’s sudden appearance, ends up banging his knees on the bottom of the desk. Rey stops playing with BB in the next “room” over and instead peeks around the bookshelf to investigate the sound, an amused smile gracing her lips as he grips the tops of his knees in pain.

“Guess you’re too tall for that one,” she teases as he tries to get his long legs out from under the short desk. He stands, albeit with a bit of discomfort, and walks back towards Amy, who seems to be comfortable playing with Poe, her little legs kicking.

He’s not surprised, honestly. The other man’s proven himself to be a good, attentive father already, having caught BB with fantastic reflexes when the kid thought that letting go of Rey entirely was a better way to get down than asking to get off of her back. And besides, he seems to ooze friendliness and trustworthiness, much like Rey. Amy stares up at the other father and his boyfriend with something akin to awe, not used to so many men in one place.

“Ben,” Finn states as the tall man walks over from the showroom, knees still aching a bit. Finn’s smile is warm and inviting as he steps forward and offers his hand to the slightly limping new father.

“Finn,” Ben replies, taking the man’s hand. “Pleasure to meet you.”

“You have no idea how much Rey talks about you,” Finn gushes, and Ben feels the top of his ears flush hotly at the realization that Rey talks about him to her friends.

“Does sh-“ he starts to ask, before he’s interrupted by Poe’s soft curse. He looks down to see that Poe’s looking towards the other show room, his fingers still held hostage in Amy’s mouth.

“BB, stop trying to climb the bookshelves!” Poe insists, straightening from where he’d been bent over. “Sorry, hang on, sweetheart,” he tells Amy before he walks over and tugs the four year old from the shelves, setting him back down. “Bryce Bennett, we don’t climb them at home, we don’t climb them here.”

The little kid doesn’t take the reprimand too harshly, nodding before darting around to find Rey who’s wandered into the next office in search of a desk tall enough for Ben’s long legs. Finn’s smiling, shaking his head at the two. “Little rebel,” he says before looking down at Amy. He bends a bit, his face now the same level as hers. She stops chewing on her giraffe and stares at him, rubber hoof resting on her lower lip. Finn’s grin broadens as he extends his large hand towards Amy’s small one. “Hello there, little princess. How are you doing?”

Ben watches as Amy reaches towards Finn’s hand, grabbing at his fingers. He looks more Rey’s age, dressed smartly in dark jeans and a grey button down shirt. Ben’s kind of amused at his white Converse, a complete contrast to his boyfriend’s bright orange pair. Ben stands with one hand protectively on the stroller as Finn continues to play with his daughter. Finn uses the hand not currently being held by her to tap at one of the dangling toys, and her attention’s caught by the swinging turtle character almost immediately. Ben watches as the other man grins, tapping it again.

“Amy, right?” Finn asks, casting a glance up at Ben once Amy’s attention is off of him. The new father nods, looking down at his daughter. “Rey’s told me a lot about her. Tells us all the time about how sweet she is.”

“Thank you?” Ben offers, not entirely sure how to respond to a compliment like that. Finn just grins, continuing to interact with Amy. She’s taken with his large fingers, continuing to attempt to put them into her mouth.

“Ben! C’mere!” He turns, raising an eyebrow as Rey beckons him over with a wave of her hand. He looks towards Poe, who’s walking back from getting his son in order - the endeavor seemed to be successful, at least for a moment. The kid’s running around through the desks, hopping onto one of the rolling chairs and giggling as it rolls with the force of his jump, but at least he’s staying in one area.

“Do you mind-?” Ben asks the other father as he comes to stand next to the stroller, nodding down towards Amy. “I think Rey’s found something.”

Poe shakes his head. “Not one bit.” He bends to press a kiss to Finn’s cheek. The younger man straightens up from being bent over the stroller, and the three men walk over to where Rey and BB are standing, Ben pushing his daughter over. Amy continues to make grabby hands at Finn and Poe, the two following behind.

“How about this one?” Rey sits down at a dark desk with an extra panel off the side. “Think. Printer, or something,” she says, putting her hand on the extra little space. “… rest of your stuff.”

He checks the price tag of it, and the measurements. Compared to some of the other desks, it’s not bad price wise, and it’ll fit in the back corner of the living room well without taking up too much space. He nods his agreement, jotting down the number next to the written ‘desk’ on the list.

“How about this one?” Poe asks, walking past Ben. The new father looks up, still bent over, to see the other man walking towards a light pink desk with metal filigree legs, obviously designed with a little girl in mind as it’s significantly shorter than the rest of the desks around it. Poe smirks, putting his hand on the pink surface. “What about it, Ben? Want to slam out some work on this thing?”

“I like it!” BB insists as rushes back over. Rey catches him before he can go tripping over something, swinging her onto her hip with practiced ease. “It’s pretty!”

“That it is,” Poe says, all teasing gone. “Maybe I’ll get it for you when you’re a big boy and have homework to do?”

“What’s homework?”

“You don’t want to know,” Ben tells him, before pulling out his phone and taking a picture of the tag just in case. He walks over to the wall of desk chairs, gravitating towards one of the sleeker but also more expensive chairs with a high back. He sits down in it, and is surprised when his head actually hits the back of it instead of dipping back like with most chairs. “… I like this one.”

“BB liked that one too,” Rey tells him, setting the little kid down. “Good spinning ability.” She walks over and smiles down at him. “Want me to take a picture of the tag?”

“Please.” He offers his phone to her. He’s about to tell her the passcode when she taps it in, squatting down to take a good picture of the tag. “You remembered my passcode?” he asks, remembering vaguely back to the first day, when he’d yelled it over his shoulder in his haste to get to work on time. “Yeah, it’s her birthday, right?” she says simply, straightening and handing his phone back to him. And then she’s off to get BB who’s being spun in a cherry red chair by Finn, shriek-y childish laughter echoing through the showroom.

Ben stares after her.

-

“Remember, no jumping on the beds!” Finn calls as he walks beside Ben, the taller of the two pushing Amy into the show room containing the beds and mattresses. “That goes for all three of you!”

Ben can’t imagine A+ Father Poe jumping on the furniture, but judging from the disappointed look he casts back at Finn, it’s a very real issue. “How long have you and Poe been together?” he asks as he pushes Amy.

“About four years,” Finn explains, reaching over to tap at the turtle again. Amy gurgles, and the man smiles. Ben stops the stroller next to a few beds, where they’re out of the way. He stands beside it as Finn continues to entertain his daughter.

A tap at his elbow has him turning after a moment of watching the two. He looks down to see Rey, and he stares as she slips her hand through the crook of his arm and starts to tug him away. “C’mon, you need to pick out a bed and a mattress,” she explains, jerking her head towards the several beds spread out across the showroom floor.

“I’ll take care of her,” Finn insists, his eyes never leaving the little girl even though he’s speaking to her father.

Ben nods, and lets himself be led away by his sitter/neighbor/friend. She waits until they reach the mattresses before pushing him down onto one of the firmer ones. He immediately groans, spreading out a bit as he lets himself relax. So much better than his half-deflated air mattress. “Is this what a bed’s supposed to feel like?” he asks, opening one eye to look up at her. He frowns when he realizes that she’s not standing beside him, like he’d thought, but then looks to his left when he feels the bed dip.

She spreads out beside him, turning onto her side and propping her head on her elbow. “Yes, Ben,” she teases, grinning down at him. “This is what a mattress that isn’t full of air feels like.”

He feels his heart skip a beat at her so close. “Is it really?” he teases right back. “It’s so comfy I might fall asleep right here.”

“Don’t you dare, Ben Solo.”

He yelps as there’s a sudden weight on his chest that’s definitely too light to belong to Rey but too heavy to belong to his daughter, and looks down to see a child on his chest. “… Hello?” he asks, blinking down at BB who’s decided that Ben’s a good climbing structure.

“Hi!” BB replies, all bright and cheery and girnning.

“Oh, heck, sorry,” Rey apologizes, reaching over to grab the kid. Ben’s jostled slightly as BB is tugged over his torso. Rey settles the kid on her stomach instead, grinning at him as he lies on top of her. “Hello there.”

“Hi!” the little boy chirps back. Ben can see that one of his lower teeth is missing, the next one growing in after it. His sweatshirt matches his older father’s shoes - bright orange with Luke’s helmet from Star Wars on it. He kicks his little feet, nearly hitting Rey in the shin a few times.

“You’re heavy,” Rey tells him.

“No, I’m not!” Bryce insists.

“Yes, you are,” Rey says teasingly. “Why don’t you go pick out what bed you think Mister Ben should get, huh?”

“Okay!” Rey lets out an ‘oof’ sound as she’s kicked by his trainer as he wiggles off of her. Ben snorts at her face of discomfort, but notices she smiles as BB darts away on his mission. She turns to look at him once Bryce is completely gone. Ben realizes with sudden clarity that if he moved his hand just an inch to the left, their fingers would be brushing.

“So, this one?” she asks, as if it was totally normal for them to be lying here on a mattress, together, in the middle of IKEA. “Or do you want to try others?”

“This one,” he affirms, and to his disappointment his response results in her standing from the mattress. She holds out her hand and he lifts his hips, pulling his phone from his back pocket and putting it in her hand. Again, she takes a picture of the tags, and reads him the number so he can write it physically on the list.

“They might have to deliver this one, but who knows?” she asks as he stands, tucking the pen in the pocket of his t-shirt and the list back into his other back pocket. She hands him his phone as he walks around to meet her.

Ben can see BB running towards Rey, and opens his mouth to warn her a second too late. Rey yelps, pitching forward as BB clasps both arms around her legs. The new father reaches forward to help her get her balance, but she manages it herself and laughs as BB starts bouncing on the balls of his feet. “I found a bed for Mister Ben!”

He watches as her face splits into a mischievous smirk. “C’mon,” she says, jerking her head towards where BB is pointing. “Wanna bet on whether he picked a kid’s bed or not?”

-

He ends up entertaining the little kid (and Rey) by attempting to fit his form into the kids’ beds. Finn snorts from where he’s standing with Poe and Amy, and Poe almost busts a gut when they realize that even his ass hangs off the edge of most of the beds. It’s a strange sight to be sure - and one they now have photographic evidence of, thanks to Rey.

It ends up being her turn to pull him up now, small hands grasping his large one in an attempt to yank him up from the pink bed. He chuckles softly as she stumbles backwards with the weight of him, smiling at her before walking back over to where Amy’s now fussing. Poe’s taken her out from the stroller and is holding her, but it’s obvious it isn’t him that she needs. Ben reaches over to take her and she calms almost immediately, curling into his chest as he shushes her and presses a kiss to the top of her head. Poe takes the stroller for him, and pushes it into the kitchen section with Ben bouncing Amy slightly in his arms.

Rey follows BB as he pretends to be an X-wing pilot, zooming through the kitchens laid out for inspiration. She’s stopped playing with him for the time being, instead just following along to make sure that he doesn’t destroy anything. Ben’s list and phone have been surrendered to her, and she points to things that Ben might want for the apartment before taking pictures of them. He’s not picky, really, picking light wood that won’t show scratches or dings too much as Amy ages and starts to get into things.

Amy’s in his arms as he walks into the example kitchen that looks most like his with its light wood cabinets. He looks up at some of the decorations, humming at the ‘example’ children’s drawings that are held between brightly-colored magnets and the show fridge. They’re here for big pieces of basic furniture, yes, but maybe he could pick up a potted plant or some tea towels while they’re here as well to home-up the apartment a bit.

He looks down as his daughter starts fussing again, wiggling in his arms. “Hey, hey, it’s okay,” he soothes, trying to get her to calm down. But it’s apparently too much with all the other customers walking about, and she looks about ready to break down. He presses his lips to her forehead in an attempt to soothe her to no luck.

“Want me to take her?”

He turns to see Rey leaning against the archway that leads into the next model kitchen over, her arms crossed over her chest with his phone in one hand and the list in the other. She sets both on the counter, reaching out towards Amy who’s immediately sated by Rey’s smile. He lets Amy go, watching as Rey disappears through the archway again with his daughter in her arms. He grabs his phone and the list and follows her around to the other kitchen; it’s a dark, steel-filled room with blacks and dark browns throughout. It appeals to him, but Rey doesn’t seem impressed, moving right through to the next kitchen. She grins as she finds Finn and Poe.

“Honey, don’t look now, but there’s a stranger in our kitchen,” Poe teases as Ben comes around the corner. BB moves to go tackle Rey again, but Finn catches him by the back of his pants. “Not while she’s holding the baby,” he warns.

“Can I see her?” BB asks, looking up at the small girl in Rey’s arms.

Rey looks towards Ben for permission. The new father nods, and Rey crouches down to let BB get a look at the five-month old. BB frowns as he looks at Amy, and then towards Ben. “Why doesn’t she have dark hair like you?”

“BB-“ Poe says warningly, but Ben just shakes his head.

“Her hair will probably get darker as she gets older, but it may look like her mommy's,” he explains patiently. “She got her mommy’s hair, and nose, and eyes. But she got my ears.”

“But her ears are smaller than yours?” BB asks, frowning. “You have big ears!”

Poe groans and turns to hit his head against the nearest hard surface, which happens to be a stainless steel fridge. Finn just pats his boyfriend’s shoulder awkwardly, not tearing his eyes away from the trainwreck that’s unfolding.

Ben just smiles sheepishly as Rey stands again, cradling Amy to her chest. “It’s fine, really,” he mutters. “I know I have big ears, just like Dumbo,” he says as he looks back down at the little boy.

BB blinks in confusion. Ben looks back up at the boy’s parents, raising one dark eyebrow at their apparent lack of Disney education.

Finn just shrugs. “Frozen and Tangled, so far,” he replies. “With a lot of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and some Star Wars.”

“Disgraceful,” Ben mutters darkly, much to Rey’s amusement as she snorts so hard it surprises the baby in her arms. Amy whines softly, fist going to her mouth.

“I think she’s hungry. Food court for lunch, and then pick up the actual furniture after?” Rey offers, glancing towards Ben.

The new father nods, extending his hands to take his daughter. “Good with me,” he replies as he holds her to his chest. She calms, still trying to suck on her fist. Rey takes the stroller as Poe and Finn walk with BB between them, one hand each. BB swings slightly, shrieking in peals of laughter when Poe and Finn count down, resulting in the kid being lifted up between the two.

“How’d you meet them?” Ben asks, Rey walking beside him.

“Finn’s a photography major at my school,” she replies simply. “He came in to take some pictures of the freshman class and was interested in the bike I was working on. He spent two more hours there than he should’ve.”

Ben snorts; though, honestly, he can understand why. Rey’s captivating, at least in his opinion. He can imagine losing two hours in her company is incredibly easy. “And Poe?”

“Package deal,” she replies. “Finn had met Poe two weeks earlier. They were seeing each other a little bit – it didn’t really start to get serious until over the winter holiday when Finn joined them for Christmas.”

“Cute,” Ben offers, watching as the couple swing the kid again. Perhaps he’s overly protective and too nervous as a new parent, but his heart stills every time BB looks like he’s about to tip backwards. “They’re good together.”

“Damn right they are,” Rey says, much to Ben’s amusement. She guides the stroller to one of the tables near the windows, putting the lock on so that it doesn’t go anywhere. She then reaches for Amy. “I’ll take her while you get lunch.”

“I can wait,” he offers, handing her his daughter. He pulls out one of the chairs for her since she has her hands full of Amy, and she casts him a grateful smile as she sinks into it, holding Amy on her lap. He bends to grab the diaper bag, setting it on the table and rummaging through for her food. “You hold her, I’ll feed her? She can’t sit up quite on her own yet.”

“I know. Sounds good,” Rey replies, turning Amy around so that she’s leaning back against the student’s chest. She reaches for a bib, decorated with a monkey and the saying ‘Go bananas!’ as Ben grabs the jar of butternut squash mush and pops it open, rummaging in the bag for his daughter’s soft-coated spoon. Rey holds the baby in her lap as Ben takes a small bit of the yellow mush and guides it to her mouth.

“I don’t understand why she likes this stuff,” Ben mutters, watching as his daughter takes the food eagerly, some already dropping onto the monkey bib.

Rey just laughs and reaches into the bag for a cloth, wiping the baby’s face as Amy accidentally lets some spill through her lips, the food moving down her little lower lip. “You’ve tried it?” she asks, glancing towards him.

“Of course,” he replies. “I wanted to know what my daughter was tasting. Let me tell you, it wasn’t fantastic.”

Rey smiles as Amy squirms slightly, trying to get comfortable in her arms. “Have you started her on any other solids?”

“Just the cereal and butternut squash so far, avocado here and there,” he replies. “She doesn’t like the cereal very much, but she’ll take it occasionally. I figure I’ll ask Mom when I can start her on the rest of the mush. I heard you start with other vegetables first.”

“Because once you go sweet, you never go back,” Rey explains. “BB only ate the peaches and sweet potatoes for a good two weeks before they finally forced something green into him.”

Ben reaches forward to wipe some mush from his daughter’s cheek, absentmindedly wiping his thumb on his jeans afterwards. “How old was BB when you met him?”

“About two months,” Rey replies, eyes still on the baby in her arms. “Poe met Finn pretty soon after BB was adopted.”

“How soon?”

“A month,” the student replies, stroking the top of Amy’s head as the baby continues to eat. It’s a messy process, even as careful as Ben is with guiding the food into her mouth.

“It was love at first sight,” Poe teases as he comes back with two trays of food. Finn has BB on his hip, walking back from the register. “Wasn’t it, pookie?”

“Pookie?” Finn asks, making a face as he sits the kid down on one of the chairs. Ben smirks at the pet name. “Call me that again and you’re sleeping on the couch in the game room.”

It’s Poe’s turn to make a face. “Noted,” he mutters, still standing as Finn sits down next to BB, reaching over to start cutting the chicken nuggets they’d gotten. “What do you two want to eat? I’ll get it.”

“I’ll get it, really,” Ben says. “I just need to get this one fed first,” he says, jerking his head towards Amy. “We’re a quarter of the way through the jar, it shouldn’t be too long now.”

Poe finishes his sip of soda before continuing to watch. “She’s five months, right? Rey said she’s turned over onto her stomach.”

“Unfortunately,” Ben admits. “It’s making changing her a little more difficult.”

“Wait until they start running,” Finn offers around a mouthful of Swedish meatball.

“And discover that they don’t like pants,” Poe mutters wryly, glancing towards his son who’s happily munching on his chicken nuggets. Ben chuckles, returning to feed his daughter. She pushes the food out with her tongue almost immediately afterwards, Rey laughing as Ben dives to catch the food before it hits her bib. “All right, all right, I get it, you’re done for the moment,” he mutters.

Rey helps the little girl sit up a bit more, lifting her and letting Amy’s little feet brace against her thighs. “You were hungry, huh?”

Poe drops his fork and knife and reaches for her. “Give her to me, I’ll watch her while you and Rey get food.”

“What if I want to hold her?” Finn asks, glancing towards his boyfriend.

“Too bad,” Poe replies. Ben just laughs and nods at the older man. Rey stands and walks around to the other side, offering Amy to the father. Poe takes the little girl and grins brightly. “Hi there, princess,” the older man coos, Amy staring wide-eyed back at him before she offers him a soft smile. “Hey, look at that!”

“You might not get her back now,” Rey warns Ben teasingly. “Think you can burp her for us? If she needs it, I mean."”

“Yeah, of course,” Poe replies, Finn reaching across the table for a cloth to drape across the older man’s shoulder. “You guys get food, we’ll be fine.”

Rey just nods, grinning at Ben before jerking her head towards the food line. “C’mon, before the lunch rush comes in.”

He nods back, following her to the line. She hands him a tray before grabbing one for herself. “So,” she asks, as they’re waiting in line to get their food. “What do you think of Poe and Finn?”

“They seem great,” he offers after he asks for the meatballs, standing next to her and watching as the server starts to make his plate. “Poster gay parents. Poster parents regardless of sexual orientation, actually.”

She laughs, the sound bright and easy, and he watches as she reaches up to grab her plate. He notices she’s grabbed a chocolate cake too, positioned on the corner of her tray. “Aren’t they?” she asks. “Seriously, they’re so cute I want to throw up sometimes.” She makes a gagging sound, and Ben chuckles softly as he grabs his plate.

“You should’ve seen them at first, though,” she says, grabbing a fountain drink cup to fill and a packet of cookies on the way to the register. She reaches over to plop a cup onto his tray as well. “Finn was completely oblivious.”

“Was he?” Ben asks.

“You’d think Poe biting his lip every time he saw Finn would be a pretty big clue, but apparently not,” Rey says, reaching up to grab utensils for the both of them.

They’re in line to pay when there’s a tap on Ben’s shoulder. He turns, startled, and looks down to see a middle-aged blonde woman standing beside him, grinning brightly. Rey peers around his shoulder, confused as well.

“So sorry,” the woman offers, holding both hands up as he stares at her, confused. “I just – I saw your family, over by the window? And your daughter is downright adorable.”

Ben blinks. He’s never gotten that she’s adorable before. Well, he has, but back in New York it was accompanied by a soft, pitied gaze and hesitant smiles. The woman in front of him is giving him neither, all bright eyed and bright smiled. “O-oh, thank you,” he says, stuttering softly in his embarrassment.

“She looks just like you,” she says, and it’s in that moment he realizes that she’s talking to Rey, since his daughter looks absolutely nothing like him. His eyes widen, and he glances back towards Rey to find she has the same expression of surprise, her eyes flicking to him before looking back towards the woman.

“Oh, I’m not the mother,” Rey explains quickly, and Ben can see her cheeks starting to flush as she offers the woman an awkward smile. “I’m just the babysitter, came along to help.”

“Oh!” the woman says, eyes going wide. “Oh, I’m so sorry!”

“It’s all right,” Ben soothes, giving her the best smile he can in a situation like this. “Thank you. That’s very kind.”

The woman just nods, smiling at him with red cheeks before hurrying away back to a table with an older man who’d been watching the encounter. Ben offers a hesitant wave before turning back to the register. Rey’s apparently shell-shocked, because she doesn’t even protest when Ben offers his card to the cashier and gestures to both of their trays.

“Huh,” Rey says, on the way to the drink dispenser. “… do you think she looks like me?” she asks, reaching up to fill the cup with ice and Coke.

“Well, she looks nothing like me,” Ben mutters, filling his with Diet Coke. “It’s not surprising she drew that conclusion. Her hair color’s much closer to yours than to mine.”

Rey’s quiet for a moment, struggling to balance the heavy drink on her tray. Ben wordlessly takes it and puts it on his, the weight now balanced. “I’m sorry,” she finally offers when they’re on the way back. “I didn’t even realize that people would think that. I shouldn’t have come.”

Ben nearly stops in his tracks, almost tripping over his own feet. “What?” he asks, glancing down towards her. “No, you’ve been a huge help. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you here. You made sure I bought a mattress, and a bed. If it was just Finn and Poe, I can’t promise that I wouldn’t have bought out the entire kids department instead.”

She smiles at that, walking back towards their table. Poe’s apparently finished burping Amy, and Finn now has her, holding her and playing with her. The older of the two men is frowning at them as they return to their seats. “What did that woman say?” he asks, leaning forward.

“She assumed that Rey was the mother,” Ben explains simply as he sits down, grabbing Rey’s drink and putting it back onto her tray. She accepts it with a quiet, nearly whispered, “Thanks.”

“Oh, shit,” Poe breathes as Ben takes a sip of his soda, and the new father’s eyes widen as they dart to the four year old currently playing with two matchbox cars on the end of the table.

“Papa! Language!” BB scolds, and Ben nearly snorts his soda from his nose at the kid’s look of scorn towards his father.

“I know, baby, I know,” Poe replies, trying to hide a smile. “Papa won’t curse again.”

Seemingly satisfied with the answer, the kid returns to playing as Ben tries to drink normally again. The couple across from him are looking at him with concern. He nearly frowns, unfamiliar with the expressions they’re giving him. Pity, he knew, but downright concern? From his parents, yeah, but not from others. “You all right?” Poe asks. “I mean, I don’t know what happened, but –“

“It’s fine,” Ben replies softly. “I don’t mind. It might be a bit better, you know? It looks more normal than a single dad.”

Rey’s pushing her meatballs across her plate awkwardly. “Are you sure?” “Positive,” he mutters, trying to ignore the fact that his heart is beating a mile a minute at the idea that people assumed Rey was Amy’s mother. In all honesty, she could be with her looks; her smile’s certainly warmer than his, and her eyes are a lot more close to Amy’s in color than his are. Not to mention the obvious hair color. Amy’s is far from black, and while Rey’s is dark, it’s still much lighter than his. He casts a glance towards the sitter, who’s since started eating. “… do you mind?”

She nearly chokes, and he instinctively reaches out for her in case she needs help. But she manages herself, and then looks at him with wide eyes. “No!” she insists quickly. “I mean, not really,” she adds. “They’re only assuming, right? No harm done in that.”

“Right,” he replies. “Right.” He nods, feeling the tips of his ears burn bright as he looks back down to his meal, shoveling a spoonful of mashed potatoes in his mouth. When he looks up next, Rey’s eating, Finn’s busy with Amy, and Poe’s looking directly at him.

He swallows nervously, looking back at the older father who just smiles and turns back to playing with the five-month old in his boyfriend’s arms.

-

They can’t get the entirety of what he buys into the pickup truck, as much as they may try. They get some of the smaller items and boxes into the back of the minivan, and Rey’s car. The rest will be shipped that night to the apartment, and again Ben’s grateful that they have a working elevator.

“Want us to stop by and help put some things together?” Poe offers, securing Bryce into the car seat of the minivan. They managed to get Ben’s bed, Amy’s new crib and two of the dressers into the back of the pickup truck with plenty of strings and a few bungee cords that Poe had thought to bring along. “We can probably get Jess to watch BB tomorrow, if you want.”

Ben just shrugs as Rey helps put Amy back into the car carrier. “If you’d like. I’ll buy pizza.”

“And I’ll bring drinks,” Poe offers, looking towards Rey. “You putting anything together tonight?”

“Ben’s bed,” Rey declares as she pulls back, Amy now secure in the car carrier. “And potentially one of the dressers so that he can actually put his stuff away.”

“In my defense, I didn’t have hangers before this trip,” Ben protests.

“No sympathy,” Rey says flatly, before reaching around to hug Poe. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“You’re helping, too?” Poe asks, hugging her tightly.

“Of course!” she insists. “Someone has to build while Amy’s taken care of.”

Ben can’t argue with that, though he feels awful that she’s given up her weekend to help him. “I can do it myself,” he offers softly. “I just need the tools, if you have them.”

“I’m helping whether you want me to or not, Solo,” Rey threatens as she lets Poe go. “We’ll see you back at the apartment. Remember, same building as mine, 404.”

Poe salutes her, grinning before walking around to the driver’s side of the minivan. Ben can barely see BB playing with his matchbox cars through the tinted windows, but he offers a wave to the kid anyway. The little boy waves back, and Ben can just see his gap-toothed smile.

“Cute kid,” he says as he slides in beside his daughter.

“He’s a sweetheart.” Rey starts up the car, and waves to Poe as the other father lets them out first. “A little bit of a loner sometimes, but a sweetheart. Loves his father to death, barely leaves his side.”

“I can understand why. Poe’s good with him.”

“Not bad for coming into it having no idea what he was doing, right?” Rey pulls back onto the main road, knowing how to get back to the apartment from there. Ben’s quiet, reaching over to let Amy play with his fingers. He can’t help but think of himself in regards her words; he has no idea what he’s doing either.

He glances towards Rey in the rearview mirror.

No idea what he’s doing at all.

-

“Where’s the screwdriver?”

“To your left.”

He accidentally reaches around to the right, mind focused more on the directions than anything else. “Where?”

“Your other left.”

“Oh.” He turns the other way and finds the tool next to his thigh. “Okay, good. What’s next?”

Rey leans over, looking at the directions that they have spread between them. She has one hand pushing at Amy’s little bouncer seat, the other on the paper as she tries to find the step they’re on. “What are we on, 16?”

“18.”

“Okay, so I’m going to do what?”

“You’re going to take this big piece – “ she says, tapping a the last side of the crib. “And you’re going to put it on top, and then screw it in with four of these.” She picks four screws from the assorted piles she’d split the supplies into, and puts them in his hand.

They don’t have too much left to do, admittedly. The crib itself is almost done; she put the drawers that go beneath it together about a half hour ago, and they’re lying in wait to be slipped beneath the crib itself. The mattress is already nearby, ready to be put in and slept on.

Ben looks down at the pages of directions and follows them, finishing securing the side of the crib. He locks everything in place, screws the feet to the bottom and crawls backwards to look at his handiwork. His jeans and t-shirt are dusted with wood dust and bits of Styrofoam from the packaging, but he has to admit that the crib doesn’t look half bad. It’s far from the fancy crib he’d envisioned, with its pink and painted walls and princess-vibe, but he knows that the simple white crib will serve him well. He glances down towards where Rey’s watching him.

“Help me tip it up?” he asks, getting to his feet. Rey stands as well and they guide the crib upright. He pushes it to where her previous pop-up crib had been and grins, hands on his hips as Rey comes to stand next to him.

“Congratulations, you have furniture,” she says, patting him on the shoulder. “Now time for your bed.”

“I need something to drink, first,” he replies, glancing down at where Amy’s trying to put her foot in her mouth. He smiles softly, bending to sweep her up into his arms. She coos up at him, hands immediately moving to his hair as he smiles and presses a kiss to the top of her downy hair. “Hi, sweetheart.”

“Water or Coke?” Rey asks, getting the crib mattress from its place on the floor and slipping it into the crib. “We can put her down for her nap and put the bed together while she’s asleep.”

“Coke,” he replies, bouncing his daughter in his arms. She gurgles in an imitation of a laugh, and he grins as he props her on his hip. “You can grab whatever you want.”

“On it,” the college student says, saluting him before she leaves to walk towards the kitchen.

Ben bends to press a kiss to his daughter’s chubby cheek. “Look at that, sweetheart,” he mutters. “You have a crib now. A real, solid crib. With drawers for things.” He reaches forward with his leg, using his socked toes to pull one of the drawers out. She seems mesmerized by the movement, and he grins as he pushes it back in. “Neat, huh?”

“You know what will be cooler?” Rey asks, walking back into Amy’s bedroom with two bottles in her hands.

“What?”

“When her Daddy has an actual bed,” Rey coos, grinning as she pecks Amy’s cheek. The baby makes a soft cooing sound before resting her head on her father’s chest, eyes slipping shut. “Someone’s tired.”

“It’s been a long day,” Ben replies, moving to set his daughter down. Rey checks to make sure the mattress is secure before he puts Amy on it, and he watches her squirm for a few moments. He looks up as the lighting in the room dims, and sees Rey adjusting the black-out curtains. She also turns off the white floor lamp she’d put together, casting the room in almost-total darkness, the light from the hallway the only source.

“Night, babe,” Ben mutters, bending to press a kiss to his daughter’s head. She squirms, looking up at him with sleepy eyes. He smiles, stroking her chubby cheek with the back of his finger before walking out. Rey’s waiting for him at the doorway, arms crossed over her chest and shoulder braced against the frame as she watches them.

“Finn tugged the boxes into your room, right?” she asks as Ben pulls the door shut, grabbing the baby monitor and hooking it to his belt for safekeeping.

“Both the bed and the headboard boxes should be in there,” he explains.

“Good.” She walks in front of him, down to where his bedroom is. “This might take a while.”

The mattress is propped up against one of the walls, the boxes for the bed, headboard, and his dresser. The suitcases and boxes containing his clothes and other things have been shoved aside to sit next to the bags of hanger and organizers he’d bought at the store as well.

He opens the bed frame boxes first, handing the hardware and the instructions to her for sorting and reading. He pulls out the pieces, grunting a bit at their bulkiness. They’re not particularly heavy, to him, but their size makes them hard to manage.

“Step 1?”

“Step 1 is to wait until I figure out what Step 1 is,” Rey replies, looking at the directions. “These are awful.”

“IKEA is Swedish for ‘fuck this shit’,” Ben deadpans as he bends to take the paper from her. “No, I get it.”

“Good, what do you need?”

They make a good team. Amy’s noisemaker helps to drown out the sound of Rey’s hammer, though Ben has to admit what should’ve taken two strong hits takes about fifteen moderately soft hits in their effort to be as quiet as possible. Ben helps her lift the heavier and larger pieces into place, but lets her do most of the building since there’s no baby to entertain. He just sits beside her and hands her the hardware she needs.

“Okay, long silver thingy.”

“Rey, there are about ten different kinds of those.”

She holds up a screw, long and thin.

“Long silver thingy coming up. How many?”

“Four.”

He grabs three more in addition to the one she already has and hands them to her. “We make a good team.”

“You’re better than a lot of my partners at school,” she mumbles as she screws them in, securing the last side of the frame before they slip the wooden slats in. She taps the side of it to check its sturdiness before pushing up off of her knees to grab the slats. “They always want to do their thing, their idea.” “

What are your ideas?” he asks, handing her one of the slats.

“Thanks,” she says, taking it from him and slipping it into the frame, pushing it up towards the head of the bed. “I want to do sustainable industrial design. Things made from reusable parts, or found objects.”

“That sounds awesome.”

“It is, sometimes,” she admits. “But others just want the new, shiny things. It makes it easier for projects, yeah, but I hate being wasteful.”

He slips a slat in beside hers. “I’ve seen some of your designs in the photos that you send. They look … “ he says, searching for the right word to use. They’re amazing, to be sure, but he’s not sure what she wants to hear.

“Complicated?” she asks.

“Well, yeah, but not what I meant.” He hands her another wooden slat. She slides it into place before getting another one.

“What do you do? I just realized I never asked.”

“Publishing,” he explains. “Starkiller Publishing Company. We just moved from New York.”

“So you’re a publisher or an editor?” she asks, settling another slat into place and standing, putting her hands on her hips.

“Agent, technically,” he replies. “With the merger we’ll be getting more employees soon, but for now it’s Hux, Phasma, and myself.”

“So you read books and decide if they’re good enough to be published?” she questions as he sets down the last slat for that side of the bed. He starts on the next, aligning it in the track.

“I’d much rather be writing the books,” he mutters, toeing the slat into place.

“Why don’t you?”

“It’s not that easy,” he replies as she starts to drag the mattress over. “Writing takes a lot of time, and effort, and with Amy-“

“You don’t have that time,” she says, scooting the mattress along the floor. He finishes putting the last slat in and guides the mattress into the frame, grinning as it hits the wooden slats with a ‘thunk’. “Well, you may not have time, but at least you have a bed!”

“Thanks to you,” he replies. “I’d be sleeping on that air mattress until my parents came down to help me.”

She walks over to the bottles of Coke still by the directions, grabbing them and holding his out to him. “They in New York?” she asks, a bit breathless from lugging the mattress. Ben watches as she downs another quarter of the bottle, licking her lips free of soda. Her cheeks are flushed pink and she’s grinning as she wipes her mouth with the back of her hand.

“Still in New York, yeah,” he replies. “What next?”

“Well, I was thinking headboard, or-”

Amy cries from the next room over to be taken out, and Ben groans as the sound comes through the monitor, significantly more shriek-y and crackled. “Or we could go take care of her,” Rey finishes.

-

As far as furniture, they don’t get much done. They get his bed, her highchair and her crib, but as far as the rest of it, they have a while to go. Ben looks at the boxes, both from their move and their shopping trip, and leans back against the kitchen counter. He managed to sweat through his white t-shirt, and has downed about three glasses of water as Rey bends and feeds Amy.

“You deserve a raise after this,” Ben mutters, taking another sip of water as Rey tries to get Amy to eat the milk/cereal mix Ben had made. Amy gurgles again, and more slips down her chin and onto the pink bib the sitter had secured around her neck.

“Ben, you were using boxes as a coffee table and an air mattress for a bed,” Rey replies as she uses the spoon to scoop mush up from Amy’s chin. “I’m happy to help.”

“The rest should be coming tomorrow, with Poe and the delivery,” he explains.

“And we’ll be there to help,” she insists. “But you’re buying pizza.”

“Pizza for lunch, Chinese for dinner?” he asks.

“My stomach’s going to hate me, but heck yes,” Rey says, throwing a grin his way just as Amy smacks her palm down on the tray. Her fingers hit the end of the spoon that Rey had set in the bowl, and cereal mixture splatters – over Amy, over the new high chair, over the floor, and over Rey.

The college student blinks, cheeks splattered with white mush as she turns to look at Amy. Ben’s chest tightens. His hand flies to his mouth in both surprise and in a vain attempt not to crack up at how the girl is slowly and dramatically turning to look at his daughter.

“… did you do that?” Rey asks, playfully angry towards the baby who’s now wearing an absolutely shit-eating grin and gurgling in laughter.

Ben can’t help it. He promptly loses it, laughing as Rey turns to grin at him, shaking her head, and touching where some of the milky cereal has landed in her hair.

“Fuck you, Solo,” she says, but she’s obviously trying not to laugh herself as Amy just continues to coo and giggle, pleased with her destruction.

He laughs. He laughs until his stomach hurts, and he laughs until tears prick his eyes, and he laughs harder than he has in a really, really long time. He’s not sure he can remember when he was this happy; not any time in recent memory, that’s for sure.

“I’m sorry,” he says, once he gets a fraction of a handle on himself. “I’m sorry, I just-“

“It’s fine,” Rey assures him. “It could’ve been squash. That’s a lot stickier, and a lot grosser, trust me.” She uses Amy’s bib to wipe the mush from the baby’s face. “Got any paper towels?”

He grabs a few and runs them under the tap before handing them to her. He helps to wipe down the rest of his daughter’s face as Rey wipes at her own cheeks, still grinning as she bends down to wipe white goop off of the floor. “She really got me, didn’t she?”

“A bit,” he replies as he finishes wiping Amy’s face. He takes the bowl far, far away from his daughter and sets it on the counter, the baby seemingly finished with her meal. “I really am sorry. I didn’t know-“

“Lesson learned,” Rey says, tossing the paper towels into the trashcan. “Never leave a spoon in a bowl unattended. Otherwise that happens. Did she get any on the ceiling?”

Ben looks up. “Don’t think so.”

“Good, that’s a whole ‘nother problem I had to deal with with BB,” Rey replies, looking back down towards Amy. “Nice one, sweetheart.”

Ben walks over and pulls the bib from his daughter’s neck, setting it aside to be washed. He scoops her up into his arms, holding her and cuddling her as Rey takes the bib to the hamper in Amy’s room. By the time she comes back out, Amy’s curled into his father’s chest and his heart’s lighter than it has been in a really, really long time.

“I’m going to go shower this stuff out,” Rey says, gesturing to the glops of cereal still in her hair. Though she sounds annoyed, she’s grinning, and so Ben just smiles back and nods.

“We’ll see you tomorrow?” he asks. “What time are they coming over?”

“When you get up, text me, and I’ll text them,” Rey explains as she walks over to the kitchen to grab her purse and the two small succulents she’d bought in the plant department. She juggles them in one hand and her apartment key in the other, and Ben watches her as Amy wiggles a bit in his grip. “And then we’ll get started, all right?”

“Thank you,” Ben says sincerely, offering her what he hopes is a somewhat soft smile as Amy curls into his chest. “Thank you, so much, for everything.”

“What’re friends for?” Rey asks, shrugging and grinning and tossing a wave back as she slips through their apartment door.

Friends.

Ben kisses the top of Amy’s head as he walks back into her room.

That’s right. Friends.

-

His new bed’s fantastic. The mattress is a lot better than the half-deflated mess of plastic and air he’d been lying on. He no longer feels like he’s floating on some raft in the middle of an ocean, and his body aches from a day of activity. There’s really no reason why he shouldn’t be asleep right now.

His body’s certainly tired enough; his brain, however, is another case completely.

Just … just take her, Ben, please.

... are you sure you don't want her?

… no, I don’t.

He clenches his eyes shut, trying to push his face more into the pillow before deciding he should see what time it is. He blinks blearily at the brightness of his phone, squinting at the blurry picture of Amy on his lock screen. Between the late hour and his lack of glasses, she’s just a blob of color on the bright screen. He can just barely make out the numbers 3:14, and groans softly, turning the phone off and setting it back on the mattress.

He huffs, flipping so that he’s face down in the pillow. “Fuck,” he mutters, but it’s muffled by the cotton and feathers and comes out more as a “Fumph” than anything else.

Ben sighs, turning his head back to the side so that he can breathe properly. He opens his eyes to see the moonlight filtering through the somewhat dirty window, the shadow of the fire escape and its ladders on the floor of his bedroom. He pushes himself up, pulling his knees towards his chest so that he can brace his elbows on them and bury his hands in his hair.

… It was her choice, remember. She didn't want Amy, but she carried her anyway. Stop it. Stop thinking of her. She didn't want her, and Rey doesn't either.

He sighs again, fingers clenching against his scalp as he tries to push those thoughts out as best as he can. No, Rey doesn’t want Amy. Rey’s helping take care of Amy because it’s a nice thing to do, and because he’s paying her. That’s it. That’s the only reason, he’s entirely sure of it.

She likes him, sure, as a friend.

And he likes her, too.

A lot more than he fucking should, for a single father with a 5 month-old little girl and a shitload of problems shoved in a dark closet he never, ever wants to open.

His fingers pull at his hair to the point of pain, yanking until tears prick behind his eyes and he has to tell himself to let go in fear of yanking out strands. He tries in vain to push the thoughts to the back of his head, to settle back down against the new mattress (the new mattress Rey had insisted upon, he reminds himself briefly), but it’s no use.

The next time he looks at the clock, its 3:59, and he resolves himself to just not getting any sleep at all as he watches the moonlight shift across the floor.

-

5 months, 2 weeks and 3 days
Sunday

“Finn, I want a baby girl.”

Ben looks up from the box he’s unpacking towards where Poe’s lying on the newly-delivered sleeper couch. It’s a dark black fabric, perfect for stains when Amy gets a bit older, and the cushions need a bit of sitting on to get really soft, but it’s comfortable so far. Plus it has the sleeping option for his parents, once they make it down like Leia said they would.

After it had been delivered and assembled, Poe’d taken it upon himself to be the babysitter. Currently, he’s lying on his back with his knees propped up, Amy leaning back against his thighs with her diaper-covered butt resting on his stomach. She giggles as he lifts her, the older father grinning brightly as she coos and gurgles.

“Can’t exactly help you with that, babe,” Finn pipes from where he’s following the instructions for Ben’s desk. Rey’s holding the final piece up as Finn reaches to drill the metal screws in place. “Don’t have the right parts.”

“Rey?” Poe calls. “Would you consider-“

“Nope,” Rey replies, popping the ‘p’ as she and Finn push the desk upright. “And done! Ben, can you help me push it between the two bookcases?”

The young father had bought two large bookcases to flank either side of the desk. Ben’s in the process of unpacking his boxes of books so that they can collapse the boxes down and get them out. As Rey starts to push the right side of the desk, Ben sets the pile of books down and walks to help her with the left. The two of them slide the desk into place, and Finn comes along behind them with the desk chair. Ben grins as he looks at the new office space, looking towards the young woman who’s grinning as well and holding up her hand for a high-five. He indulges her, reaching up to hit her palm with his.

“All right, bookshelves down, desk down, couch down, chairs down,” Rey says, putting her hands on her hips. “I vote lunch next.”

Her dark ripped jeans are covered in wood dust, cardboard bits, and Styrofoam pieces, and her cream tank top’s streaked in sweat, but Ben just takes in her accomplished grin and smiles back.

“Yeah, sure. What does everyone want on their pizza?”

“Anything except for anchovies, artichokes, or peppers,” Poe says.

“I’m fine with anything,” Finn pipes up from where he’s brushing Styrofoam balls off of one of the bookshelves.

“How about cheese and pepperoni?” Ben offers, walking to where his wallet and phone are still on the fold-out table by the door.

“Good with me,” Poe calls. Ben glances back towards the other father to see that he’s now sitting up and bouncing Amy gently on his knees. Her fist is in her mouth, and she smiles around it at the motion. Ben smiles to himself as he orders, watching out of the corner of his eye as Rey walks to the kitchen and grabs a bottle of cream soda from one of the six-packs Poe and Finn had brought.

“Should be here in a half hour,” Ben explains, slipping his phone back into his pocket and leaving his wallet on the table. “She doing okay?”

“She’s fine,” Poe insists, not even looking up at Amy’s father and instead just grinning at the little girl.

“She’s a sweetheart, isn’t she?” Rey says, sitting on a free end of the couch with the bottle in her hand. She takes a small sip before looking for a place to put it. She looks towards Ben and offers it to him. “Mind taking this? I don’t want her getting a hold of it.”

“Yeah, sure,” Ben says, taking it from her and setting it on the kitchen counter as she takes Amy from Poe. The younger father watches as she holds Amy, both of the girls’ smiles bright as Rey bounces her on her knees.

“She sleeping all right?” Poe asks, standing and walking to grab his own bottle of soda.

“Most nights, yeah. 80% I’d say. It’s still pretty new to her, so sometimes she’ll wake up. But most nights she sleeps through.”

“How was your night last night? New bed, mattress and all,” Rey asks, looking over towards him. “Better than the air mattress?”

“Slept like a baby,” Ben lies as Poe comes to stand next to him, taking a swig of his soda as the older father watches Rey with Amy.

“…. Ben?”

Ben looks up to where Finn’s been pulling books out of one of the boxes. He raises his eyebrows at the younger man, who holds up a simple silver frame. Though Ben can’t see the photo from across the room, by the look on Finn’s face he can guess what picture it is.

“… do you want me to put it somewhere, or…?” Finn offers as Ben walks over, holding out his hand for the picture of Amy and her mother. The young woman’s holding the infant, the little girl having just been born. It’s one of the few pictures he actually kept of his daughter’s mother. Finn puts the frame in Ben’s hand, and the young father looks down at the picture.

It would be sweet, if he didn’t know what transpired afterwards. The woman’s not even smiling; she’s just looking down at her daughter, face blank. He can see his own hands on the rail of the hospital bed, the hospital band still around his wrist as he waits for the chance to hold his daughter.

“I’ll keep it out for now,” Ben mutters, looking down at it. “I’ll save it for when she starts to question it.”

“What happened, if you don’t mind me asking?” Poe calls from across the room. Ben glances towards the other father, and just barely catches Rey making a quick and frantic ‘no!’ motion across her neck, mouth forming the word as well before she stills and turns with wide eyes towards Ben.

“She didn’t want her, simple as that,” Ben explains, setting the frame down on the desk and reaching into the box to pull out the remaining books. He starts to put them on the shelves, pushing them to the side to keep them upright. “She left, I stayed. And then our company decided to move, and I went with them. Left everything, moved here with her.” He jerks his head towards his daughter, who’s finding the neck of Rey’s tank top very entertaining. He blushes as he catches a glimpse of pale blue lace before Rey realizes what’s going on and tugs the tank back into place.

“Hey, no grabbing,” Rey scolds, pulling his daughter’s hands away from her top and holding Amy’s little fingers instead. “That’s not nice.”

The 5 month old just gurgles slightly, and Rey goes from looking vaguely annoyed to grinning. “All right, I’ll forgive you because you’re cute,” she teases, and Ben feels like his heart’s about to burst out of his chest as she bends to press a kiss to the top of the little girl’s head.

“Want me to take her?” Ben offers, already setting the books aside and jumping as the ones on the shelf fall with a ‘bang’ from lack of support.

“I’m on it,” Finn says, walking and pushing the books back up against the side of the shelf. “Any way you want them organized?”

“As long as they’re on the shelf, they’re organized,” Ben mutters as he walks forward, reaching for his daughter. Rey hands the baby to him, and he smiles as he pulls her close, letting her rest against his chest. She’s not quite able to sit up in his arms on her own, but she can pull back a bit and touch at his hair where it curls near his ears.

“Hi, sweetheart,” he mutters, watching her eyes as they dart around his face. He lets her explore, touching his cheek and his nose and his hair. Her eyes find his, eventually, and hold as she continues touching his skin, reaching for his lips. He smiles as she brushes small fingers against his lower lip.

“How the fuck is she so cute?”

Ben’s head snaps to the left so he can look at Poe, who’s watching them and grinning, cream soda bottle dangling from his fingers. “Thank you, I…” Ben starts, unsure of what to say aside from that.

“Seriously, Finn, I want a baby,” Poe insists, looking towards his boyfriend.

“Let’s get married first, then we’ll see,” Finn calls as he puts books on the shelf.

“Great. Let’s go this afternoon, after we shower and change.”

“Poe,” Finn scolds, looking over his shoulder at his boyfriend.

“I know, I know,” Poe says, taking a sip of his soda. “Degree, then marriage, then more children.”

“Yeah, I can understand his - ow!” Ben exclaims as his hair’s tugged harshly, and he turns to glare at his daughter as she giggles at his response. He reaches up to where her tiny fist is in his dark hair and tries to pry her fingers away.

“Yeah, that’ll happen more, now,” the older father says as the doorbell rings.

“I’ve got it,” Rey calls.

“Tip’s in my wallet on the table,” Ben offers. “Give him a ten.”

“Right,” the college girl says as she opens the door. Poe follows, taking the money from Ben’s wallet as Rey takes the two boxes of pizza. The father hands over the bill as Rey sets the pizzas down on the counter.

“I’m going to go put her down,” Ben says, carrying Amy over. “Say night night.” Rey leans forward to press a kiss to Amy’s little chubby cheek. The 5 month old reaches for Rey immediately, and the college girl looks towards Ben as if to ask permission.

“If you want to,” Ben says, letting Amy go towards Rey. “Do you mind?”

“Not at all. Save me a soda and two slices of pepperoni?” she asks, taking Amy and holding her close.

“Will do,” Ben replies, watching as Rey presses her lips against Amy’s head and carries the little girl into the other room to be put down for a nap after playing with Poe for the better part of the morning.

“You like Rey.”

It’s not a question. Ben looks to see Poe leaning against the counter, arms crossed over his chest and smile just a bit lopsided as Finn retrieves plates from the set they’d just put away. He gets cheese for Poe and offers the pizza to his boyfriend, who takes the plate while his eyes are still focused on Ben.

“She’s fantastic with Amy,” Ben tries, in an attempt to brush it off. “It’s nice having the help around, and it’s –“

“Bullshit,” Poe warns. “You like her, don’t you?”

Ben blinks, and tries the oblivious route once again. “Of course I like her, she’s wonderful.”

“What he means,” Finn says, moving and leaning back against Poe. Poe gladly holds him, his hands coming around his boyfriend’s waist to dig his hands into Finn’s front pockets. “Is that you want to date her.”

Ben stares at the couple, watching as Poe plants a soft kiss on Finn’s cheek. It’s tame, as far as PDA goes, but it makes his heart hurt just a bit when he tries to remember the last time he’d held someone like Poe’s holding Finn. Sure, he hasn’t had time at all – he barely has time to breathe anymore, let alone go out with anyone. Let alone go out with Rey, even if she would accept his offer.

“… yeah,” he admits, taking a sip from his soda. “But it’s not an option.”

“Bullshit,” Poe repeats. “It is too an option.”

“What’s an option?” Rey comes around the corner, pulling her tank top back up from where Ben assumes Amy’s tugged it down in an attempt to cling to the college girl.

“Getting a white sofa instead of the black,” Poe lies flawlessly. “There’s something called bleach.”

Rey just stares at Poe, raising one dark eyebrow at him as she leans next to Ben. The father tries to keep his heart from leaping from his throat and falling out of his mouth as she settles just a few inches from him, close enough to touch. Finn notices the closeness as well, and smiles around his pizza, meeting Ben’s eyes as Rey replies, “You’re insane, Dameron. With a 5 month year old? She’s going to be crawling and walking with sippy cups and sticky fingers soon.”

Poe shrugs. “Maybe,” he says, grinning. “But it’s an option, trust me.”

Ben catches the other man’s wink, though Rey misses it as she reaches for her soda bottle.

-

“Where’d we put the cups?” Ben asks, looking around and frowning.

“No idea. In one of the big blue bags,” Rey offers from where she’s building the coffee table.

“That is really not helpful.”

“Cups are already in the cabinet,” Finn says, emerging from the kitchen and dusting his hands off. “Utensils are in the drawers, plates are in the cabinet, too.”

“Yeah, you did the easy stuff,” Poe breathes, emerging from the bedroom. “Dresser’s done.”

‘Thank you,” Ben sighs, running his hand through his hair as he watches Rey whack at the coffee table with her hammer. Amy’s swinging happily beside her. “Thank you, thank you all so much.”

“Sure. Free food, get a little workout, get to play with this princess,” Poe coos, bending and scooping Amy out of her swing. The little girl coos as she’s pulled into his arms and bounced around a bit.

“I wanted to hold her,” Finn protests, walking around and crossing his arms over his chest as he leans against the wall that separates the kitchen from the rest of the apartment. There’s a large cutout in the wall, rectangular with the counter extending through it. Ben guesses it’s supposed to be some sort of bar, but he doesn’t want bar stools when there’s the possibility of Amy pulling them down and on top of her when she gets old enough to toddle around.

“You put away cups, I made a dresser. I get to hold the baby,” Poe insists, tone teasing but also slightly dangerous. Finn just holds up his hands and walks over to Rey who’s working to tip the table over onto its legs. She grins once it’s upright, pushing it so that it’s even with the couch. Two chairs are on either side of it, the seating forming a ‘u’ shape with the coffee table in the middle.

He just has the two storage units and the TV table to go across from the seating to put together, but that’s a project for another day. Poe managed to put together the dresser and his bedside table. Rey finished the coffee table and one of the side tables between the chair and the sofa, and Ben and Finn have been unloading the things in the boxes so that they could take the cardboard out to recycling.

Most of the things he’d brought were books and personal items, clothes and the like. He has yet to put his own clothes away, but he and Rey decided that they’d work on Amy’s clothes while eating Chinese for dinner. Poe and Finn want to go back and eat with BB, which Ben completely understands and has told them several times is totally fine even when they offer to stay a bit longer. Over the past hour, he’s counted three offers to stay even though it’s not needed.

There are still four blue bags of things to put away, but he doesn’t mind too much. They’re little things like a more colorful shower curtain instead of the clear plastic one he has up now, and tea towels for the kitchen, and the bath towels he’d bought that were much better than the worse-for-wear ones he’d brought from New York.

“What else do we need to put together?” Finn asks, glancing towards Ben.

Ben shakes his head. “Nothing, for now. There’s the TV stand and the two storage units to go on either side of it, but that’s a bigger project. You two need to get home to BB, I’m sure he’s missing you.”

“Please, without us the kid’s probably having chocolate chip waffles with chocolate syrup and whipped cream for dinner,” Poe insists, holding Amy up a little higher to see her smile at the sudden change in height. “I love Jess, but she has no concept of nutrition.”

“Says the man who downed three bottles of cream soda and four slices of pizza,” Rey says flatly, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I have no problem with chocolate waffles or whipped cream,” Poe tells Ben, looking over at the other father. “It’s the chocolate syrup that’s overkill.”

Ben can see Finn shaking his head, the younger man smiling sweetly as he walks over to Poe. “All right, c’mon, we gotta get home so we can make a somewhat healthy dinner that doesn’t involve chocolate or whipped cream,” Finn teases. He leans up to kiss Poe on the cheek. “Put the princess down, Poe.”

“I think you just spit on her from all those ‘p’s,” Poe replies, but hands Amy over to a waiting Rey who sets the baby back down in her swing. “Nice seeing you again, Ben.”

“Thank you both so, so much for your help,” Ben insists, walking over to shake Finn’s hand. The younger man grins up at him. “I have no idea when I would’ve been able to get all this done.”

“Over the course of six months or so,” Poe teases. Ben offers his hand out to him, but the other man goes right in for a hug.

Ben freezes at the gesture. He … honestly can’t remember the last time he’d been hugged by someone who wasn’t his mother. Even Han preferred a handshake to a hug, though his father’s hugged him before. The feeling’s … a lot better than he remembered it being, honestly, and after a moment of hesitation he wraps his arms around the other man.

“Let us know if you need anything, all right?” Poe mutters. “I don’t … have any experience with whatever the hell you’re going through, but if you need any parenting advice or whiskey we’re just a call away. Rey’ll give you our numbers.”

“Thank you,” Ben breathes, and though it’s the simplest offer a bit of the weight he didn’t even know he was carrying feels like it’s been lifted. Two more people. Two more people who can help in a crisis, who can lend a hand if he really really needs it. He hopes he won’t. “Thank you, thank you so much.”

Poe claps him on the back and pulls back, grinning. “I swear – anything, you just call, we’ll do the best we can,” he offers. “Even it means, you know, babysitting. If you want to go out with anyone. Like on a date. Or something.”

“Your subtlety knows no bounds,” Rey deadpans, walking over from playing with Amy. “If you try to put him up on a blind date, I will jam my drill into your chest and turn it on.”

“Savage,” Poe replies just as flatly before grinning at Ben. “See you around?”

“Yeah, definitely,” Ben replies, slipping his hands into his back pockets as Rey stands next to him, crossing her arms over her chest. “Thanks again.”

“Sure thing, handsome,” Poe says offhandedly as he steps through the open door, Finn holding it open for him. “Text you later, sweetheart!”

“See that you do,” Rey replies before the door closes. The last Ben sees of the couple is Finn’s sheepish but bright smile as he closes the door behind them. “Oh, my God, remind me why I’m friends with them?”

“Because they’re nice enough to help a complete stranger get his shit in order?” Ben offers, glancing down at her. She’s pulling her hair out of the topknot she’d pulled it up into, and is in the process of shaking it out before pulling it back up.

“Valid reason,” she mutters with the tie in her mouth. “Chinese and baby clothes?”

“Chinese and baby clothes,” he repeats, going to get the takeout menu she’d brought over, his phone, and his credit card.

-

5 months, 2 weeks and 6 days
Wednesday

“You can go home early.”

Ben blinks, looking up from the email from the author he’s communicating with. As far as plot and original idea goes, the book’s phenomenal. As far as the author’s obsession with using a thesaurus … well, let’s just say he has yet to find an editor who clicks well with the man he’s penning the email to. “Wait, really?”

Hux leans against the doorway and shrugs. “Yeah,” he replies. “With the merger done, I sent a lot of our projects to the other office. If we have less, we can spend more time on the ones we have and more effort doing the best job we can. So if you’re done for the day, you can go.”

“I’m just sending an email to Mr. Jackson,” Ben explains, nodding down towards the laptop.

“Isn’t he the one who basically rewrote the word ‘bad’ using twenty different synonyms? Over the course of two pages?”

“That’s him.”

“Good luck with that one,” the redhead mutters as Ben reaches for his phone to call Rey. “I’m staying for a bit, but I’ll be leaving soon.”

“Thank you, as soon as I shoot this off I’ll be gone. Phasma?”

“Already out.”

“Fantastic.” He clicks on Rey's number – she’s one out of his two ‘favorite’ contacts, the other being his mother. “Let me call Rey and tell her.”

“Say hi to your girlfriend for me,” Hux says, smirking as he pushes himself off of the doorframe.

“She’s not my girlfriend!” Ben calls, glaring at the redhead as he leaves, throwing a pale hand back in complete dismissal of his colleague’s protest. Ben sighs as he waits for the girl to pick up.

It’s pretty quick – two rings, and then she’s breathing a cheerful, “Hi!” into his ear. He can hear the smile in her voice, and instinctively smiles back.

“Hi there. I’m leaving early.”

“Wait, really?” she asks, voice pitching upwards in question. “That’s fantastic! I was going to tell you earlier, but we had a little diaper issue that needed my attention. My class was canceled!”

“Really?” he parrots. “Why?”

“Fire because freshmen are stupid,” she breathes. “It should be fine by tomorrow, they’re just airing everything out and giving it the all clear.”

He frowns at her breathlessness. “You all right?”

“Yeah, fine, why?”

“You’re pretty much panting.”

“Oh, I’m holding your daughter up. She likes to pretend to be an airplane,” Rey explains, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the entire world. “But she’s getting heavier.”

“Is she?” Ben asks, propping the phone between his cheek and his shoulder as he finishes up the email. “Is it worrying? Did it come on suddenly? Does she look heavy to you?”

“Ben, she’s a baby,” Rey replies matter-of-factly. “Babies grow at an alarming rate.”

“True,” he admits, finishing the email with his signature and sending it off. The application makes a loud ‘swish’ sound as it goes, and he grins, closing his laptop and slipping it into its protective sleeve. “And I’m out!”

“Fantastic!” Rey cheers. “It’s pretty warm this evening, want to take her out for a walk in the park?”

“Sure,” he says, slipping his laptop into his briefcase before slinging it over his shoulder. “Do you want to come with?”

“If you don’t mind. I was planning on taking her out earlier today, but it was drizzling.”

“Sure,” he repeats as he leaves his office and throws a farewell wave to Hux. The redhead doesn’t look up from his computer, but does give a little half-wave back. “Dinner?”

“I’m thinking making something since we had both pizza and Chinese last night.”

“Mac n’ cheese?” he asks, walking towards the elevators. “Homemade, none of that Kraft stuff. I have pots now, so I can make it. I’ll stop by the store and get some ingredients on the way back.”

“Absolutely,” she replies. “Sounds fantastic.”

“Great, see you at home.”

“See you soon!”

He hangs up as he steps inside the elevator, grinning at the reflective inside of it. It’s not until he’s walking out of the building and down the street that he realizes. He realizes just how domestic the conversation they just had was, and he realizes that he doesn’t mind in the slightest.

-

“Daddy’s home!”

The stroller’s already put together, and Rey grins at him from where she’s bouncing Amy on her hip. Ben smiles back, setting his briefcase down and walking over to press a kiss to Amy’s cheek. “How was she?”

“Good, as always. Well, didn’t sleep much in the way of an afternoon nap, but maybe if we’re lucky she’ll do down during the walk. Want to change, and then head out?”

“Sure.” He shows her the plastic bag of mac n’ cheese ingredients. “I can make enough for leftovers.”

“That would be fantastic,” she breathes, grin broadening. “I have two tests this week, not having to worry about dinner would be great.”

“Done. Let me change really quickly.”

“How cold is it?”

“Jacket,” he calls back. “Can you get her dressed?”

“Sure,” she replies, and he hears her behind him as he walks into the bedroom. She strolls past into Amy’s room, and he hears the opening and closing of drawers and the closet door as she finds warmer clothes for his daughter. He changes into a sweatshirt and jeans, toeing off his work shoes and slipping into his Converse. He steps out and runs a hand through his hair, walking into his daughter’s room. Amy’s on Rey’s hip as she searches through her outfits. She emerges with red pants and a matching cardigan, and a onesie with a strawberry on it. Ben has to give credit to his mom on that one; he’s not the best at picking out entire outfits, preferring to just mix and match the easiest pieces.

“How long ago was she changed?” Ben asks, walking over and holding Amy up for Rey. The little baby gurgles as Rey swiftly unbuttons the bottom of the onesie. Ben sets Amy down on the changing table as Rey tugs the onesie up and over the baby’s head. He takes the onesie and tosses it in the hamper as Rey tugs the new strawberry one on.

“Fifteen minutes,” Rey replies. “Figured a fresh one would be good for the walk, but you never know. They’re tricky sometimes.” She grins down at Amy as she tugs the little pants up. “Aren’t you? You’re a little trickster sometimes, aren’t you?”

Amy grins up at her sitter, fist going towards her mouth. Ben watches, smiling, as Rey pulls her up to tug the pants up all the way before handing her to her father. “All right, jacket. Can you hold her?”

“Sure.” He holds his daughter around her chubby little middle and kisses the top of her head as Rey tugs the jacket around, and pulls Amy’s arms through. Ben shifts Amy so that she’s on his hip as Rey finishes and turns, bending over to rummage through the drawer and produce a pair of matching socks.

“Ah ha!” She emerges victorious a moment later, producing a pair of white socks with the same strawberry print and grinning. “I can’t believe we have the full outfit.”

“Thank Mom,” Ben replies as he holds Amy relatively still so that Rey can slip her socks on. “She’s the one who bought the whole thing.”

“What’s your mom’s name?” Rey asks as she slides the last sock on.

“Leia.”

“Thank you, Leia,” Rey says, grinning. “All right, walk? I have the bag just in case. Diapers, some milk, one of the food pouches, extra outfit, water bottles for us.”

“I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you,” Ben admits, watching as Rey tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

The college girl just continues grinning, shrugging. “You’d probably do okay, but you wouldn’t have a bed. Or an actual crib.”

“Or my sanity,” Ben replies wryly as he turns and walks out of the bedroom. Amy goes into her stroller, and Ben hands her the giraffe toy. She immediately puts it in her mouth and then takes it out, examining it with tiny fingers before slipping the hoof between her little lips again.

“Yeah, I know, you like Sophie,” Ben mutters as he buckles her in. He can feel Rey beside him, and turns to see her swinging the bag over her shoulder.

They exit the apartment and walk to the elevator. Rey looks down at her nails as Ben sweeps his finger along Amy’s cheek, smiling at the little coo he gets from her at the affection.

“She was good today.”

“That’s great to hear,” he replies as the elevator comes and he pushes her into it. Rey steps in behind him and presses the lobby. “Do I want to know what happened regarding the fire?”

“It’s nothing,” she says with a shrug. “Some fumes, some fire, nothing too bad. It’ll be cleared out for my class tomorrow. I’m just glad that most of my things are in the other building, so they weren’t in any danger.”

“’Some fumes, some fire’, she says,” Ben repeats, glancing down at her and shaking his head and looking down at Amy. “She’s funny, isn’t she?”

Amy just giggles around the giraffe’s hoof.

The elevator opens to the lobby, and Ben pushes Amy through as Rey goes to get the door. They walk down the block and turn right, the park a few blocks away. Ben’s only been there a few times, when the farmers market’s there on Saturdays to pick up veggies and fruits. He’d tried to make Amy baby food once, using the maker that his mother had kindly bought him, but after getting zucchini on the ceiling and his work shirt he decided that it was just easier to buy it premade.

The park’s pretty big, as far as parks go. He hasn’t explored all of it, yet, or seen the rest of it. Ben stops to look at the map of the large area of land, frowning. “They have a baseball field?”

“A few leagues play on weekends, yeah,” Rey replies, peering around to look at the map. “Let’s just walk until she starts to fuss?”

“Yeah, good with me. We’ll find our way back eventually,” he says with a shrug. “Do need to get her home in time for dinner and sleep, though.”

“This isn’t going to be a 2 hour walk,” Rey says teasingly, looking up at him and hoisting the diaper bag more on her shoulder. “C’mon.”

It’s mid September, so it’s getting cooler. Ben pushes Amy along the concrete walkways, trying to look at her and where he’s going at the same time. Rey walks beside him, close enough to leave the other side of the pathway open.

“Favorite color?” she asks, after about five minutes of comfortable silence.

Ben replies immediately with, “Blue. You?”

“Green.”

“Really?” he asks, glancing towards her.

She shrugs. “It’s pretty, and reminds me of being outside. Spring green’s the prettiest, the color of the leaves just as they start to come out again.”

Ben hums, glancing down towards Amy. “Do you think she’ll be a pink person?”

“Only time will tell,” Rey says, grinning. “What if she is?”

“Then she will get every single pink thing possible,” Ben replies, to which Rey just laughs and shakes her head.

“And if she’s into blue and likes sports?” she asks, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Then I’ll put down firm rules about not kicking a soccer ball in the apartment and take her to the baseball field whenever she wants,” Ben says seriously, glancing down at Rey. “She’s my kid. I’ll do whatever she wants.”

Rey bumps her hip into his thigh and smiles. “You’re a pretty good dad already.”

“Having a fantastic sitter makes a difference,” he admits. “Seriously, I have no idea what I’d be doing without you. I’d be taking her in to work every day, we’d both be getting minimal amounts of sleep, she’d probably be fussy all the time, my parents would have to come down more often. It would be awful.”

“I’m glad I’m here, then,” she says, and when he looks down at her, her smile seems to make even the sun above seem dim. He smiles back, looking towards the walkway again and trying to keep his heart rate from getting too high after a simple grin.

His eyes find a couple in the grass ahead, sitting crosslegged in front of a car carrier. The stroller frame’s beside them, as well as the diaper bag, and his smile falls just the slightest bit when he sees the mom scoop the baby boy up and cradle him to her chest. The baby’s significantly younger than Amy; 2 months old, maybe 3 months at most, and Ben politely averts his eyes when the young mother starts to breastfeed him.

He looks down at Amy, teeth worrying at his lower lip as he looks down at her mouthing at the giraffe hoof.

She could’ve had that, he thinks. Maybe. If he’d begged her to stay, begged her to try.

Amy could’ve had a mother if he’d just tried harder.

He looks up when he hears talking nearby, a bit loud.

“Do we have chicken nuggets?”

“No idea, when’s the last time she had them?”

“Last night, I think there were a few left.”

The voices belong to two more parents. Like Ben, the father’s pushing the stroller of the toddler who’s currently playing with a stuffed Dory fish. He watches as the toy tumbles from her little fingers, and stops as Rey bends to pick it up and hand it back to the little girl with a smile and a “Here you go, sweetheart.”

“Oh, thank you!” the mom says, offering Rey a sheepish smile as the sitter straightens again.

“No problem,” Rey offers as the other father throws her a grin. The mom gives a little wave in thanks before they’re off again, continuing their conversation.

Ben watches them go, heart feeling just a bit empty as he looks back down at Amy. His daughter has her father pushing her stroller as well, yeah.

But there’s no mom beside him.

“Ben?”

He startles a bit, looking up from watching his daughter to where Rey’s standing a few feet ahead, frowning at him. He realizes that he hasn’t moved from where they’d passed the other parents, and Rey’d walked on without him.

“You okay?” she asks, walking back and looking up at him.

“Yeah,” he replies, the word coming out slightly choked. He coughs, shaking his head. “No, yeah, I’m fine, was just thinking.”

“Do you want me to take her?” Rey asks.

“No, no, it’s fine, I have her,” he replies, giving her the best smile he can manage. “I have her.”

The last three words feel a bit heavier, just a bit more meaningful as he looks down at his daughter before looking back at her caretaker. Rey smiles at him again, and that empty space in his heart feels like it’s filled just the tiniest bit. It’s far from completely fixed, but at least the sorrow and regret clawing at his mind seems to ease just a bit.

His daughter might not have a mother, but at least they have Rey. “I’m fine,” he assures her. “C’mon, let’s go.”