Work Text:
“Did you have sex with anyone when you were in Florence?”
Hannibal looked down at Will who was currently huddled into his side, head under his chin as they lay in bed together. “A random question Will, why do you ask?”
Will sat up and folded his arms on Hannibal’s chest, eyes looking intently into his husband’s. “Genuine curiosity mostly and immature intent to make you feel awkward” His smirk was sly, making Hannibal shake his head and chuckle at him.
“Well if you are so curious then yes, I did have sex with one man but it wasn’t in Florence. It was in Paris where I lived for about a year”
Nodding at him, Will shifted to get himself more comfortable as he had a feeling this story would be long. “Did you date him?” He asked, hand lazily playing in the wisps of his chest hair.
“Yes, Bedelia could not offer me what I desired and you were still in Baltimore. I needed to sated so it was just my luck that the night I intended to kill Doctor Fell, I came across a very handsome stranger”
“Anthony Dimmond” Will breathed, his eyes alight with intrigue as he grinned at him and rubbed his palm on Hannibal’s chest. “You dated the man that you twisted into a heart and gave as a valentine to me? How very dark of you Hannibal Lecter”
“I detect a sense of you being humoured by that Will, how very dark of you” Hannibal reiterated, a snide expression on his face as he adjusted his head on his pillow and slipped further down into the sheets.
“But yes, I dated Anthony Dimmond. He practically threw himself at me the moment we met, he was very flirtatious and very drunk. But I admired his wit and taste for poetry and especially his way of trashing Doctor Fell. I immediately felt a spark, even if I was still aching for you”
Will snorted, playing with a bit of loose skin on his finger as he allowed Hannibal to continue.
“He dragged me into the bathroom and begged me to fuck him in one of the stalls, bent himself over for me and dropped his trousers. I couldn’t resist, so I did as he begged”
He heard a laugh and Will was grinning at him. “Such a slut you are, Hannibal. If I knew it was that easy to manipulate you I’d have dropped my pants years ago” Hannibal shook his head at him, dismissing his teasing.
“I promised I would see him again, he made me promise and he gave me his number. Again, resisting this man was a futile effort so of course I saw him again” Hannibal intertwined his and Will’s fingers, bringing his hand up to his lips to kiss his knuckles tenderly. “For what he made up in intelligence, he more than doubled it with his abilities to satisfy me”
“He sounded like a right keeper. Apart from being madly infatuated with me, what made you give him up?”
A deft silence followed, Hannibal carefully considering his next words. “A few days before I was due to leave Paris and move to Florence with Bedelia, Anthony approached me and told me he was pregnant with my child”
Will sat up fully, his eyes boring into him as they bulged with shock. “Was he telling you the truth?” He asked, near breathless.
The older man sighed, raking a tired hand through his hair. “He was and he had the ultrasound to prove it” His eyes flickered towards Will’s, which were still bulging on account of the fact he was probably still surprised by what he had admitted.
“I felt myself stuck between wanting to stay with Anthony in Paris to help him through the pregnancy and rearing of the child or moving to Florence where I knew I’d be safer from the FBI after Fell’s murder. There was always the risk that I would be caught and Anthony would be made out to be an accomplice, I simply could not to do that to our child”
“So you left him” Will finished, his tone now almost bereft to the idea of poor Anthony Dimmond being left alone and pregnant in Paris by one Hannibal Lecter.
“Yes, I left him because I had to protect him. I wrote him a letter however, to let him know that I wasn’t just dumping him because of the child”
The younger man shifted in place, curls messy as he nuzzled into the pillows beside his head. “What did you write to him?”
“I told him what I knew was the truth, which was that I could not protect or look after him. That the child would not benefit under my care and that Dimmond deserved someone better to raise his baby”
Will again nodded though he didn’t look very convinced. “I imagine you must have at least loved him to feel that obliged to write him a letter” Hannibal however shook his head, his eyes seemingly glassy.
“No, I did not love him and that’s why leaving him felt all the more worse”
“Did you ever receive update about the baby?” He pressed, hand clutching Hannibal’s bicep in a comforting fashion as he traced his fingers along the tan skin.
Hannibal tipped his head back and sighed, Will believed that he was blinking away tears. “Yes, around five months into the pregnancy he sent me a letter. Telling me he’d miscarried after his new lover had beaten him”
Will felt tears well in his own eyes, also blinking them back.
“Christ” The younger man whispered, pressing his forehead against Hannibal’s shoulder. “Do you still have the letters?”
There was no answer but Will already knew that the silence that followed meant that he had kept them.
“I saw him again, a year later in Florence. He greeted me like I’d only met him once. Like nothing had ever happened since that night at the gala. I could see the pain behind his smile though, especially when I addressed myself as Doctor Fell and he immediately learnt the truth”
Will swallowed, feeling short of breath. “He’d been carrying a murderer’s baby”
“I imagine that may have gave him relief,” Hannibal muttered, exhaling heavily and rubbing his hand on his forehead as it seemed his story physically pained him. “but the night that I killed him when he knew everything about me. Blackmailed me and felt confident I was going to follow his orders. We were going up the elevator to mine and Bedelia’s flat and Dimmond turned to me and very carefully said, ‘The baby was a boy, I named him Hannibal’ and then he walked out when we reached our floor”
“Is that what drove you over the edge?”
Hannibal nodded, an arm coming to wrap around Will and pull him snug against his body again, hand playing in Will’s soft curls.
“I’d had a son, it was just too much for me. I brought him into the apartment and moments later, he was out cold. A statue held in my hand while Bedelia looked on with profound shock, I asked if she wanted to participate or spectate. She opted to spectate of course” His voice sounded strained, tired even which made Will feel like maybe they should wrap this up. Deciding maybe that this story was a little too sad at this time of night.
“I snapped his neck and made myself think of you, reminded myself of you and how you’d never do that to me. Never taunt me about the death of our child. So I turned and twisted him into a heart, a symbol of my devotion for you and my hatred for him”
Will sighed and closed his eyes, sighing softly as he leaned up and pressed a light kiss to his husband’s lips. “Enough Hannibal, we can only carry so much sadness in our lives”
The older man hummed and kissed him back, closing his eyes as Will’s head fell against his chest again.
“I love you Will Graham”
A smile appeared on Will’s face and he brought down Hannibal’s hand, kissing the palm. “As do I love you, Hannibal Lecter”
Will fell asleep not long after and Hannibal remained awake, staring at the ceiling fan that hummed above him as a large smile appeared to stretch across his face. Will was right, there is only so much sadness one human can carry and for Hannibal, that sadness had very much overspilled its banks.
He sighed, closing his eyes before whispering a token that he hoped Will would never hear. “Bonsoir mon vieil ami”