Chapter Text
“Gin-chan! I’m back!” she kicks the door open—maybe with a little too much force, because it makes an ugly sound and falls inside the house. But that’s nothing to worry about. See, Kagura is a big girl now. She can pay Gin-chan for the door and even add an extra amount so he can blow it at the pachinko or whatever he did those days that made them always short on money. But, of course, being able to doesn’t mean that she’s going to pay Gin-chan. If anything, she’s sure there is still some money he has to give her as overdue payment or something.
Taking off her shoes at the genkan, she walks in. The inside of the house hasn’t changed much in the few weeks she’s been away. If anything, it’s a little bit tidier than it usually is. Shinpachi must have been here recently, she thinks to herself. She hopes he has cleared her closet too—she knows Gin-chan wouldn’t bother cleaning up her space. He might have even used her closet as a storage house or something!
A somewhat strong smell of tobacco fills her nose when she opens the fusuma. Huh. Toshi must have been visiting again in her absence (she’s suspicious of his intentions. He has been visiting more and more since the terminal battle. He has to know that she’s not going to let Gin-chan get married just like that! She’s not that kind of mother!). Ignoring the scent, she continues loudly, “Ah, Gin-chan, sorry! I accidentally broke the door! You can pay for it with all the money you owe me, okay?”
She sees him before hearing his voice. A kiseru in his hand, he’s facing the TV and watching one of Gin-chan’s favorite soap operas. Absentmindedly, she thinks of how it’s still airing. It’s going to rival One Piece in its length, at this rate. It doesn’t take her long to connect all the visual signals in front of her to a name, but it can’t be, right? Kagura hasn’t crossed to the other world on her trip back to Earth, right? She’s sure she got the airship ticket to Earth, not Hell!
When he turns to look at her, Kagura can now take note of not one, but two green eyes looking at her with amusement. Huh? What?!
“Welcome back. Gintoki isn’t home,” Takasugi Shinsuke replies. Sitting in their living room. Huh?! “You don’t need to worry about the door, or the money. I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you.”
She splutters, “What are you doing here?! Is this the underworld? Did the airship fall and I died and went to the other world? Hey, I’ve been away for a few weeks only! Is this not Gintama anymore? Are we doing a collab with Hades?!?!!!”
She watches, stupefied, as a small smile blooms on his face. She isn’t sure she had ever seen Gin-chan’s strange enemy-friend-whatever-they-are like this before, which makes her suspicion of all this being a dream even stronger.
“Oh, yeah, I must have fallen asleep! It is a long way to earth, after all! That must be it, yep! I’ll just have to pinch myself hard to wake up!” ow. It doesn’t work.
Takasugi Shinsuke sighs.
“I’m not dead. At least not… anymore.”
He stands up, and now Kagura can look at him in all his not-dead-anymore glory. Instead of the usual fancy kimonos Kagura had seen the man wear during the time he was definitely not dead, he now had a simple purple yukata on. All in all, he looked better than the last time Kagura had seen him. Well, a lot better, considering the last time she’d seen (or rather, heard of) him he was dead.
What the hell?
Frowning, Kagura points a finger at him. How dare he! “Hey! What are you doing here?! I told Gin-chan to never trust boys who smoke because all they know is to act all cool and emo and leave them alone with a baby, but he didn’t listen to his mami! And that’s why I kept catching him close to tears for a long while! I kept telling him, Gin-chan, no man is worth your tears, I raised you to be a strong boy, but none of it made him feel any better! So why are you back after all of that?!”
Takasugi Shinsuke has the audacity to look sad at that. Kagura would feel bad if she hadn’t seen Gin-chan those first few weeks after the terminal battle. She still remembers staring at Gin-chan’s shadow through the slightly open closet door every night, scared to take her eyes off of him lest he disappeared again. But all he did was sit there in the darkness, for a long time, without saying anything.
She had told Shinpachi about it, but he didn’t know much either. She didn’t expect him to, in the first place. Gin-chan hadn’t changed in the two years they hadn’t seen him: he still hid everything and smiled at them like nothing had happened. But something was different this time. His smiles were visibly forced—even though Gin-chan was a master at the art of deception and lying through his teeth. They would’ve left it and saved him the pain, if it were two years ago. They were scared to, now. It was maddening not to know what Gin-chan was feeling, or where he was, or what he was doing: it felt like if they took their eyes off he might leave again. So they went to Zura.
He looked in as much pain as Gin-chan was when they brought up the question.
The man in front of her sighs again, his shoulders falling. “I’ll make some tea,” he says softly, walking towards the kitchen. “We can wait for Gintoki to arrive. It shouldn’t take him long.”
Hmph! Whatever. She plops down on the sofa and crosses her arms across her chest. With the other person now in the kitchen and out of the living room, she can focus on the state the room is in. There’s an ashtray on the table that wasn’t there before, and a butterfly-printed hanten hanging on the coat rack that obviously isn’t Gin-chan’s. Hmm.
She keeps her hands crossed stubbornly and simply out of spite, until Takasugi Shinsuke comes back holding a tray in his hand. She’s surprised to find sukonbu next to her cup of tea when he puts the tray in front of her. She looks up at the man, curiously.
He isn’t looking at her when he sits down, too busy taking a sip of his own cup, but seems to have sensed her wondering gaze. He puts the cup down and looks at her. “Gintoki talked a lot about you two. Still does. I just remembered all his complaining about how much money he spent buying sukonbu for you, that’s all.”
She rolls her eyes, momentarily forgetting that she has her guards up against the person in front of her. “He was lying! He never paid for my sukonbu, I always paid for it with my own money. Which he didn’t even give me much to begin with! He’s just too stingy.”
“That is more like him.”
Silence falls between them after that. She feels like Takasugi Shinsuke is scared to talk and say the wrong thing and make her even more mad. Heh. She smirks into her tea (which tastes exactly how she likes it, wow!). Look at her now: the famous fearsome (former) terrorist Takasugi Shinsuke is scared of her. Mami would be proud. She should tell Pappi about it when she sees him next. She’s definitely going to tell Kamui—she’s sure he won’t believe it, but still. That’ll show him!
Proud in her newfound power, Kagura begins, “So, what brings you here? Where is Gin-chan?” her smirks deepen as Takasugi Shinsuke fidgets in his seat, obviously uncomfortable to answer the question. His misery has no effect on Kagura—she’s determined to make him suffer as much as possible. Doesn’t he know she’s basically the boss lady of this house?
“I think… it’s best if Gintoki answers that,” the man in front of her finally replies. Kagura frowns. She doesn’t like the hidden implication that there might be something Gin-chan wouldn’t tell her. Heh, as if! Just as she’s about to spit out a harsh, witty remark, he continues, “He went to get groceries. He was supposed to come back soon. He’s probably run into Zura or Hasegawa-san.”
“That Madao! He won’t stop until he turns Gin-chan into a madao too.” Shaking her head, she stands up and walks towards her closet. She knows from experience how long Gin-chan takes when he’s with that stupid Madao.
A part of her is still a little nervous—it’s the first time in a while she’s come back to the house without Gin-chan in it. But, as much as she doesn’t trust the person currently inside the house, she knows Gin-chan must be around to have let him inside in the first place.
“I’m going to take a nap, wake me up whe—”
Oh. What?
The inside of her closet looks different when she opens the door. The futon Gin-chan had given her when she moved in was already old at the time, and Kagura’s violent sleeping habits had made it even worse. She remembered some torn parts here and there. Gin-chan would send her away with the same old excuse of ‘no money’ whenever she brought it up. The futon in front of her now wasn’t the same. It looked so new… and so soft…
The closet door makes a bang as it hits the other side of the wall. She gapes: even the comforter was new! If she knew such luxuries were waiting for her at home, she’d visit sooner, cool alien hunting be damned!
Her previous train of thought and the presence of the other person in the building completely forgotten, she jumps on the bedding. “Woah! It really is as soft as it looks! Gin-chan must have hit gold! I should ask Shinpachi about the jobs Yorozuya has been getting!”
Suddenly jolting up, she gets out of the closet and back into the living room. “Don’t think I’ve forgotten about you! But it can wait until after Gin-chan gets his lazy bum home. You better not do anything while I’m not looking. You better be sure that I’ll find out about it! Mommy always finds your dirty magazines!”
She decides against gracing Takasugi Shinsuke’s amused smile with a reply, and jumps on the mattress again.
“I’m back at last, matt-chan… I promise to have a good day’s sleep on you right now, okay? Sorry it took me so long!”
“...already here?”
“And she … questions…”
“What … tell her?”
“ … waited … you … arrive. I didn’t … scare her.”
The next time she opens her eyes, is to quiet whispers from behind the closet door. The lighting has changed—she’s probably slept a good few hours. There comes a sigh, and then, “..I’ll tell her, when she wakes up.”
Huh. That must be Gin-chan. Gin-chan…
She slides the door open with a bang, and before Gin-chan has the chance to turn his head, she already has her foot on his face.
“Ow, Kagu—”
“Stupid Gin-chan! I come home after weeks and instead of waiting for me like a good boy, you spend the whole day playing pachinko? You were with Madao, weren’t you? You were becoming a madao, weren’t you?”
“Hey, Kagura, if y—”
“Mommy had to come home all alone! Nobody came to pick her at the terminal! Mommy didn’t raise you like this!” She wipes imaginary tears out of her eyes, “and she came home just to see a stranger… were you cheating on me? Was I gone for so long you brought another person into our house?”
Gin-chan throws her away and starts rubbing where she had previously kicked. “Weren’t you just my mother? Why are you the lady of the house now?!”
She sits on the ground where she had been thrown next to the table and shakes her head. “All men are the same, son or husband! They forget the day you’re visiting, they forget your anniversary, and they bring lovers inside the house…”
“Will you slow down?!” Gin-chan finally snaps. “You’re here one day early! You were supposed to arrive tomorrow!”
“And?” Kagura looks up at him, crossing her hands. “Pappi brought me himself on a friend’s spaceship.”
“How were we supposed to know that?!”
Kagura considers that. The peasant does present a good case—a fair queen will always admit that. Rolling her eyes, she stands up and sits on the sofa in front of Gin-chan. She can see that Takasugi Shinsuke is sitting next to Gin-chan. Hmmm.
“You’re excused, but just barely… make sure not to do this again, okay, Gin-chan?”
“I didn’t do anything wrong in the first place! Look, even Pattsuan isn’t here!”
Kagura is about to reply when the other person in the rooms starts talking. He’s sitting next to Gin-chan, and she hadn’t noticed it before but isn’t he awfully close to him? What’s the meaning of this?!
“I can call Shinpachi-kun. I’m sure he’d like to come, now that Kagura is here. Sadaharu-kun must miss her as well.”
“Eh?” Gin-chan takes his eyes from Kagura and turns towards his friend. “Do what you want. Tell Shinpachi to wear one of his dojo armors or something, Kagura-hime seems to have chosen domestic violence as her method of greeting her peasants!”
Takasugi Shinsuke takes out his phone. Gin-chan turns his focus back on Kagura again. “So? Kagura, any news? Was Baldy okay? Did you do anything fun?”
“Pappi was good. We went to this planet that people didn’t even have toilets! It was a mess, not s proper place for a growing lady like me at all!”
Gin-chan’s face changes in disgust. “Hey, Kagura, don’t tell me… you had to… did you… you didn’t, right..?”
“What the fuck are you suggesting?!” Kagura bursts, raising her fists but not quite hitting Gin-chan yet. She’ll give him another chance, yes, because even though he hasn’t grown up even a bit, Kagura has. Anuego always used to tell her that growing up makes you more patient towards men and their words. ‘You just have to pretend they’re little kids, Kagura-chan. Not that it takes a lot of effort to pretend, because they really are little kids, aren’t they?’ Kagura nods to herself. Yes, trust Anuego to know men!
“Oi, Takasugi, tell Shinpachi that Kagura swears now! That stupid Baldy! Where is he taking Kagura? Look at what he’s done to her!”
She guesses Takasugi Shinsuke had been trying to keep his voice low as to not bother Kagura and Gin-chan (Gin-chan never did that. He was always so loud on the phone! He didn’t care one bit if Kagura was watching her favorite show or not!), because she didn’t know the call had connected.
“…Gintoki says to come here as soon as possible, Shinpachi-kun.” A pause. He smiles at something Shinpachi must have said on the other side. “Yes, don’t worry. We’ll be waiting.” And with that, the call is over: he puts his now locked phone on the table.
“He’ll be here soon. He’s going to stop at the supermarket to buy Sadaharu-kun’s food first.”
Ah, Sadaharu! She’s missed him so much!
“Hey, you totally didn’t tell him about Kagura swearing now!”
“You can tell him when he arrives.”
“Don’t piss me off! It’d be too late then!”
“If you can’t remember it by the time he shows up it’s evident enough how it wasn’t that important to begin with. It’s nothing to worry about.” Without paying any attention to Gin-chan’s (very rude) reply, he sighs. “Kagura. If you want I can make more tea.”
“Yeah. And more sukonbu, too!”
Wait a minute. Why are they acting like nothing is out of place?!
“Hold your horses!” Kagura jumps up, waving her finger in Gintoki’s face. “Gin-chan, what’s the meaning of this? What is this guy doing here?! And he’s acting so chummy with us too!”
Takasugi Shinsuke looks down at something on the table at her question. Gin-chan just starts picking his nose without a care. “Oh. Takasugi? Well, this and that happened and we’re dating now. Please take good care of him… or something.”