Chapter Text
Deadpool had been stalking Peter for almost a year now. - No no no! Stalking is such a harsh word. - Deadpool had been watching over Peter like a guardian angel for a lost soul for nearly a year now. And if Peter was anything right now, it was a lost soul.
Spider-man had been absent from the public eye for even longer. When Aunt May had been diagnosed with dementia, Peter had taken it hard. Some days May didn’t recognize Peter. Some days she would ask about Mary Jane or Gwen. Sometimes about Peter’s parents. But often about Uncle Ben.
Aunt May didn’t remember. She didn’t remember that all of them were dead. Or maybe she did remember and that was why she left to go be with them.
Tony Stark had stepped in when Peter collapsed after Aunt May’s death. He funded Peter and let the boy do whatever he needed to cope with his grief. For a long time Peter did nothing but sleep and visit everyone’s graves. He barely ate. Deadpool had been worried sick.
Recently, however, Spider-man had made a return. Except he wasn’t Spider-man. He was just some dark clad vigilante that covered his tracks well and let all of his pent up anger out on petty crooks. Nobody knew it was Peter because nobody could fathom such violence from the man. Except Deadpool.
When the New York vigilante first appeared, Deadpool had a hunch. It was hard tracking the guy, who was careful to an absolutely paranoid degree. Going off his hunch, Deadpool started breaking into Peter’s house and leaving tracking devices on everything he could find. Eventually, he was able to confirm that Peter and the violent vigilante were the same person.
The Avengers would have thrown a fit if they knew, but that was because they didn’t understand. Deadpool understood. Wade Wilson understood. He didn’t hold it against Peter. This was something Peter needed and Deadpool hung back and watched, making sure Peter’s grief didn’t threaten his life.
Finally, one night, Deadpool had to intervene. A drug deal gone wrong had left a little boy crying over his dead drugged out mother. Peter had lost his mind and killed everyone in the room. Peter couldn’t stop punching the dead gunman and the little kid couldn’t stop crying.
Inviting himself in, Deadpool chloroformed Peter, dropped the kid somewhere safe and called CPS, then he burnt the house down to hide the evidence of what Peter had done. That taken care of, Deadpool spirited Peter away.
~*~
Peter woke up in an unfamiliar place on an unfamiliar bed. Rolling over with a groan, he became aware of a raging headache throbbing behind his temples. He tried to groan, but that just brought about the realization that his throat was raw and he had cottonmouth. Part of him wanted to know what had happened, but mostly he didn’t care. He just wanted to stop hurting.
“Baby boy! You awake?” A loud voice nearly shattered the inside of Peter’s skull. “Awww! You look like you’re in pain! I’ll get you some painkillers and a gallon of water, shnookums.”
There was only one person in the world that would talk to him like that. “Wade?” Peter rasped.
“Ohhhh, that breathy voice calling my name is going in the spank bank, Petey Pie!”
Deadpool returned with four pills and a glass of water. Surprisingly gentle, he helped Peter sit up and assisted in making sure Peter didn’t spill water all over himself. Once Peter had guzzled the water and was slowly leaned back against the wall with a pillow behind his head, he cracked an eye open to look at at the black and red clad person beside him.
“Where are we?” Peter whispered, not wanting to hurt his throat or head any more than it already was.
“A safe house of mine in the wilds of New York state. Some time away from the smog will do wonders for your complexion!” Deadpool ran his hands over his mask as if he were in a skin care commercial.
“Oh…” Peter lolled his head to the side and stared at the wall. The urge to ask why or what happened vanished as quickly as they appeared. He didn’t really care. He didn’t really care about anything. The all consuming numbness had found him once more.
His silence and dead eyes didn’t seem to faze Deadpool who continued chattering happily. “It’s gonna be a great holiday! We’ll watch movies and look at the stars and tell each other about our first kiss and in the morning I’ll make waffles!”
Peter didn’t respond and Deadpool didn’t mind. For the next few weeks, this set up a trend. Deadpool would drag Peter along and Peter would do whatever was set before him mindlessly. His distance never bothered the merc and there was never a lull in the conversation due to Deadpool’s rambling mouth. Peter didn’t really care. It was a distraction and Deadpool was the only person in the world not constantly asking if he was okay.
He wasn’t okay. He’d never be okay again. He just wanted people to stop asking as if the answer was going to suddenly change one day.
Then life shifted into a new routine when Deadpool suddenly presented an all red suit in Peter’s size with the word “Sidekick-man” written across it. “I got some business to attend to. Suit up!”
“Business?” Peter’s mind stalled, not quite sure what to make of the sudden shift in their usual days.
“Yep! Some bad bad people need to be unalived.”
“How bad?” Peter asked, showing an interest in something for the first time since he arrived.
“Child trafficking. You want in on that, right?” Deadpool stated in a deadly voice.
Peter took the suit and the gun holster that went with it. For the next few months Spider-man was back, and it was obvious to everyone but the press. Peter had some pretty signature moves even without his webbing. This brought down all kinds of hell on Deadpool’s head who was barely managing to keep him and Sidekick-man one step ahead of the other heroes who wanted the pure Spider-man out of the corrupt Deadpool’s hands.
In the meantime, Peter started to come out of the all consuming numbness that had taken him over. In the suit, he could quip back with Deadpool like the old days. He felt like he had a purpose. He felt like he was making the world better again. That bit by bit he was cutting out the bad and leaving the good so people didn’t end up like him.
Out of the suit his skin felt raw and he clawed at it constantly. Deadpool stated that since he lived in his suit, there was no reason Peter couldn’t too. Deadpool understood. Deadpool didn’t judge Peter or try to fix him. Deadpool never asked if Peter was okay.
After a particularly bad mission, Sidekick-man was whistling as he picked up parts of Deadpool that had been scattered across the slums of some city in Brazil. Peter was pretty sure that the bomb had left most of Deadpool intact considering when it blew and launched Deadpool into the air a wailing “Team Rocket is blasting off agaiiiiin!” was heard.
Rounding a corner, Peter froze, listening to two very heated voices arguing about him.
“He needs help!” A female voice shouted. Was that Black Widow? It had been too long since Peter had heard her voice, he couldn’t be sure.
“Oh! Does he, Miss Know It All? If you believed that, you would have been there from the beginning instead of being all ‘Here’s some money and a shit ton of free time! How about you take up scrapbooking instead of killing people.’”
“It is your influence that has brought him to this! Spider-man never kills!”
“Sorry to break it to you, fellow arachnid, but Spider-man ain’t here anymore.”
“You will either assist us with getting him the help he needs or we will forcibly do this without you.”
“If I knew where my arm was, I would slap you with it!”
“Listen to me-”
“NO! YOU listen! You don’t know a damn thing about what he needs! You just want him back under your thumb! Doing what you think is best! The only person that understands, that truly gets what’s happening right now, is ME! So you can go fuck off! I won’t let you bite the head off my Baby Boy.”
“Where is he, Wade?” Black Widow asked the question dark and deadly.
“Long gone. I had to stay behind to find my arm. He’s halfway to China to get the drop on our next hit. You won’t get to him in time.”
“This isn’t over, Wade. Don’t make us lock you up.”
“You mean lock me up, too?”
“We’re not-”
“It’s the same thing! You don’t know what he needs! You don’t get it! He can’t go back to that because it’ll destroy him. This is how he can live now. You self righteous assholes need to get that through your thick skulls!”
“If I knew where your foot was, I’d shove it up your ass.” Black Widow snapped. “This isn’t healthy for the either of you. If you decide to stay put long enough to talk to a professional too, the offer is open. But you aren’t taking that boy down the path of insanity with you.”
“He ain’t a boy anymore. I say it ironically. You don’t.” Deadpool bit back darkly.
“You’ve been warned, Wade. Stay out of this.” With that Black Widow left.
Peter waited a long moment to be sure the coast was clear before walking over to Deadpool. “I found two fingers, a foot, and most of an arm. You missing anything else?”
“That’s everything! Awww, you take such good care of me, Sidey-poo.”
“Sidekick-man is a terrible name.” Peter mumbled, but his heart wasn’t in it. He helped attach the missing parts back to their owner and tied them in place until Deadpool could finish healing.
Task completed, Deadpool started rambling but Peter interrupted. “You never acted like you knew I had changed.”
The words immediately died in Deadpool’s throat. “How long were you listening?” Wade asked quietly.
“Long enough… They want to send me to a special super hero therapist or something?”
“Something like that…” Wade sighed. “You don’t have to go, we’ve been keeping ahead of them pretty well. They won’t find us.”
“You lost someone?” Peter whispered, staring at the ground.
“No.” Wade answered flatly. “I lost everyone. Including myself.”
Wade was right. He did understand. Tears soaked into the mask covering Peter’s face.
Giving himself a shake, Deadpool fell back into his rightful character. “It doesn’t have to be like that, Baby Boy. You’ve been getting the hang of it. Everything we do is one big action flick peppered with comedy. Ridiculous battles with ridiculous people. You can live here with me. In this world. As long as we keep the readers entertained, everything will be fine!”
“As long as we’re together, everything will be fine?”
“Yes! We’re a tag team comedy duo with sexual tension! Fans love that!”
“And you won’t leave?”
“Never ever! You’re stuck with me until the end of time. Even if you decide you hate me, you’ll never be able to get rid of me. I’m 100% immortal and relentless.”
Peter gave a soft smile. “That sounds so stalker-y.”
“It’s not! It’s just a confession of my love! And if we get together, we’d make all the fangirls happy!”
Peter looked up at Deadpool in complete seriousness. “You say a lot of things and I’m never sure what’s true and what’s not.”
Deadpool reached up and gripped Sidekick-man’s face before stating with great force, “If you would let me have that ass, I would have it, Baby Boy.”
“Just my ass?”
“Can I have everything? Inside and out?”
Peter really thought about it. Over the years, the over the top flirting had gone from an awkward annoyance to a mystery Peter wasn’t sure he wanted to solve. Knowing that Wade had come to Peter’s rescue hadn’t angered Peter like he thought it would. It was endearing. Part of Peter was still so afraid to get attached to anyone. Even as a close acquaintance. Yet Deadpool had always been the exception.
Most of all, Deadpool couldn’t die. And Deadpool wouldn’t leave. No matter what. Right?
“You can have me.” Peter said. “As long as you promise to never leave.”
“Baby Boy, I’ll be around until you die of old age. And when you do I’ll take your hand and incase it with plastic so I can still hold it - and occasionally masturbate with it. And I’ll keep it on me like a Flavor Flav necklace until the sun explodes and swallows the earth because that’s the only thing that might have a chance at finally killing me and my desire to keep you with me forever.”
Peter pulled his mask up over his nose so his smile could be seen. He lifted Deadpool’s mask as well, who let him do it for once without comment. Gently brushing his fingers over the scarred flesh, Peter felt his heart stir for the first time in years. “Now that you have me, what do you plan to do with me?”
Taking a fist full of fabric, Wade yanked Peter’s head down and kissed him violently. Peter met the kiss with returning force, no longer having any hesitance towards the man. When they came up for air, Wade growled, “I’m gonna paint this city with our cum as I fuck your brains out.”
“Yes.” Was Peter’s breathy reply, wanting nothing more than that.
By the time they found a place to shut themselves in that also happened to have a shower, Wade’s body parts were mostly reattached. After washing the blood from themselves, they proceeded to take each other on every available surface. It was a haze of mind blowing, world forgotten, heavenly sex. Wade committed every single moment of it to memory.
The next morning he left his exhausted pile of gorgeous nudity only long enough to get some food. He wanted Peter to wake up to delicious breakfast and enough water to rehydrate him after their wild night. However, when he returned it was to find the door busted in and a missing Peter. Deadpool was ready to storm the Avengers Tower when he saw a letter waiting for him on the counter. The first line stopped Wade in his tracks.
I went willingly. I want to state that first so you don’t do anything rash. Maybe I wouldn’t have gone if not for you. You made my life start moving again and with that… I have to try this. I have to see if I can get ME back. It may not work. And it may take a long time to figure that out, one way or the other. But that’s okay, because I know you’ll be waiting for me. Until the sun explodes.
What else could Wade do but smile and agree? It wouldn’t work and his poor Spidey may be worse for wear over it, but Deadpool would be there for him. No matter how long Peter needed, Wade was willing to wait.