Work Text:
Where are you walking right now?
Say you love me, say you love me
Jungkook watches as Taechan laughs at what Jimin said while happily clutching onto his arm. He watches while masking a smile on his face as he regrets everything he has said and done to the younger man.
The weather’s so nice, I’m dreaming
About holding your hand and looking into your eyes
Dduba dduba dduba dduba I do
Dduba dduba dduba dduba I do
They were at the park when it happened. Taechan and Jungkook were having a picnic while discussing their future plans. Jungkook had said he wanted to be a police man, while the other boy had said he wanted to be a dancer. Watching Taechan talk about his passion for the art made Jungkook’s stomach rumble with something he didn’t know at the time.
The weather was perfect that day, Jungkook had been excited for this day for some reason, but now watching Taechan babble about his dreams, Jungkook only wanted to hold his hand and talk about their future together.
I couldn’t sleep a single bit, I think I’m sick
That’s right, I like you
It was the night before Graduation, when Jungkook stayed up looking at his ceiling and let everything sink in. The only consent thought in his head was of how he and Taechan had met. They had met in Kindergarten, where he stuffed the boy in a duffle bag. After that they were always in each other’s lives.
Cursing quietly, Jungkook realizes how badly he had fucked up this time.
When you get one step, two steps farther away
I will take three steps toward you
So we won’t get any farther apart
When you take one step, two steps closer
I will stay right here
So it doesn’t feel like our love is going too fast
Their friendship started to go downhill the minute Jungkook rejected Taechan’s confession when they were both 14. They were both drunk at the time (their parents were away on vacation that night). Jungkook can remember it happened fast and quick.
At first they were talking about their shitty boyfriends and girlfriends they’ve had, and then it got to the point where they ended up sleeping together under the kitchen table. Jungkook and Taechan didn’t talk about it for the next two months. Well it would have been three months until Taechan came crying to him saying how Jimin wanted to break up.
Jungkook doesn’t even remember what happened after he took Taechan’s shaking body into his and lead him to their joint bedroom.
Soon after that, they would always go to each other in the middle of the night and let out all of their frustration on each other’s bodies, be it in pain or pleasure anything to take their minds away from what happened.
It was the day before his 15th birthday when it all happened and everything went to hell. They had just finished a season in the bathroom, and while drying themselves up Taechan let out the dreaded three words that would end him.
“I love you”
Jungkook remembers not saying anything. Just instead shifting closer to him so their hips touched.
He regrets not having said it back that day.
Say you love me, say you ddururudduddu
Say you love me, say you love me
It was December 24 when he knew he fucked up even more. Today was Taechan’s 15th birthday, as a present Jungkook recalls having fucked the younger boy in the middle of the hallway while their dads went to go get birthday materials for Taechan.
As he was edging closer and closer to release, Taechan kept on pulling him closer as if in hopes he wouldn’t stop his motions that his hips were doing.
It was before his climax when Taechan sobbed out another set of words that Jungkook would never forget.
“Please say you love me”
He recalls having pulled out and left the younger on the floor face flushed and tears in his eyes. He remembers the flurry of texts from the boy saying how he didn’t mean it. Worst of all Jungkook said something that broke the boy even more he thinks.
“I’ve never loved you like that, this is only to release tension, don’t get this mixed up”
On top of breezy hill
I want to lay on a blanket and be with you
Dduba dduba dduba dduba I do
Dduba dduba dduba dduba I do
Soon after that text, Taechan had avoided Jungkook like a disease never getting to close to him. It was only when their parents were out for work would Taechan be different. Jungkook knows what he had said had changed Taechan somewhat. By somewhat Jungkook really means a lot as he sees two boys from his football team go into his and Taechan’s room eager to fuck his step-brother. He remembers how almost every day Taechan would bring home a new boy to sleep with.
He remembers regretting what he had ever said to the boy that December morning. He regrets letting Jimin try and win Taechan back, but most of all, he regrets how when Taechan agreed to date Jimin again, how the boy looked at him with emotionless eyes.
I couldn’t sleep a single bit, I think I’m sick
That’s right, I like you
It doesn’t really come to him how fucked up this situation really is until four bottles of beer, it’s their graduation night, and he watches Jimin and Taechan make out right in front of him (Taechan was a light weight so he was only able to have half a bottle), but Jungkook knew Jimin was slightly tipsy. He looks away when Jimin stands up to take off his pants and how Taechan was eagerly moaning.
Jungkook knows then and there that he really does like Taechan more then he should.
When you get one step, two steps farther away
I will take three steps toward you
So we won’t get any farther apart
When you take one step, two steps closer
I will stay right here
So it doesn’t feel like our love is going too fast
It was in May when things back to how it was for them. Taechan slammed open the door to the room crying his eyes out. As any good brother (step-brother or not) he asked the other what’s wrong.
So when Taechan explained to him how Jimin and him have been fighting and how a few words were spoken out of the haze of things, he held the other boy as he cried. Jungkook still winces when he remembers how Taechan cried out Jimin’s name as he fucked the younger. He had kind of hoped it would go back to what it was before, when they would have sex, and how Taechan had always wanted him.
But not anymore, he’s been replaced now.
Say you love me, say you ddururudduddu
Say you love me, say you love me
Jungkook never thought he would be taking Taechan’s place in their warped twisted relationship. He looks up at the younger male as he rides Jungkook in their bedroom, and Jungkook wishes how for once Taechan can say his name. But what hurts the most if what Taechan moans out as he cums all over them.
“I love you Park Jimin!”
Oh how the tables have turned.
On & on, On & on don’t hesitate
Uh uh uh~, Come to me, uh uh uh~
A little closer, a little closer
Come a little closer
Don’t get any farther away
Come a little closer
Jungkook managed to avoid Taechan in public soon after that. Not like the other noticed really, he was too busy staying by Jimin’s side kissing him and smiling. “I hope you like the taste of my dick in his mouth” Jungkook would sometimes think bitterly as he would see the couple.
But in their house when no one is looking, when the tension is too much, is when they hug more than Step-brothers should. Jungkook silently wishes that Taechan would cling to him again, but he knows that won’t happen.
When you get one step, two steps farther away
I will take three steps toward you
So we won’t get any farther apart
When you take one step, two steps closer
I will stay right here
So it doesn’t feel like our love is going too fast
It was the day before Jungkook’s 17th when Taechan pulled him into the guest bedroom to kiss him. Jungkook was shocked to say the least; they had stopped having sex a while ago. They’ve only hugged, but they haven’t kissed in a long time.
When Taechan pulled back, he handed the other a small red and yellow box that said Jungkook on it. Before Jungkook could say anything, Taechan left the room without a word.
Say you love me, say you ddururudduddu
Say you love me, say you love me
After that they have both sadly stopped talking to each other, and even began avoiding each other.
Soon after that Jimin and Taechan began hanging out at home more and more. It even got to the point where his father even prepped a plate of food to Jimin much to Jungkook’s dismay.
Even though they dont talk anymore, it still hurts when he hears Taechan giggling while saying how much he loves Jimin, causing Jungkook to think sadly each and every time.
“Why can’t that be me”
When you take one step, two steps closer
I will stay right here
So it doesn’t feel like our love is going too fast
Now as Jungkook looks at the couple, sitting across from them he can only think of how he really messed things up for him and Taechan. They are not even friends anymore.
Both Taechan and Jimin have revealed their plans on getting married after Taechan graduates from High School, and their plans to move to Jeju to have a peaceful life there.
Soon after the event, Jungkook walked back to his room, after that incident, Taechan had asked to have the guest bedroom become his room. While their fathers both were curious at that, they agreed and made the guest room Taechan’s room. Turning on his side, he sees something he never got to open. Something he never wanted to see on his nightstand, sitting there, mocking him, more like destiny is mocking him to be honest.
Reaching for it, he slowly takes his time to open the present. Once the ribbon was untied he poured out the contents onto the bed and took a good look at it. Looking over the items more than once, he was shocked with all he sees laying in front of him.
A small Iron Man figure (which he recalls begging his dads to buy him, but it costed more then $40 at the time)
A rare Pepe
A Play Girl magazine (the one that features that really cute boy at the time)
A signed Big Bang Album
But besides those items, the two that catches his eyes the most was a dimmed photo, and a letter.
The picture is of two boys dressed as a carton of milk and a cookie. Jungkook remembers that they took this photo when he and Taechan were both 8 years old at the time. It was one of his most favourite photo’s they took. He was so heartbroken when he found out he had lost his copy of the picture. Judging by the worn out look of the photo, it was not his, but Taechan’s.
The letter was a pink paper with purple ink written on it. Smiling lightly at Taechan’s habit to make everything colourful he started to read the letter with a wary heart.
Happy Birthday Jungkook!
It’s been a rather long time since we last talked huh? Ever since that ‘incident’, I don’t really know why I did that. I had hoped I would figure out my feelings if I did that you know?
The first night it happened, I was beyond happy. I really liked you then.
I still do, well I think I do. No, I know I like you.
We’ve done some crazy shit, we’ve both hurt each other over and over again, but for what? Only broken hearts right?
When we first started to see each other like ‘that’ I was so happy, I thought I finally had a chance with you, well I thought so, but we both know how that ended, I acted like that because I thought we would be together, after so many years of loving you in that light.
When it happened the second time, I swore it wouldn’t happen after that. But it did, again, and again and a again. I kept on asking myself why, what we did wrong to keep on doing this. When I was till dating Jimin
Soon after that, we went through lapses of sex between us. Sometimes you would start it, sometimes I would start it. I don’t know what else to say really, I’ve never been good at this ha…
But every time you walked closer and closer to me, I walked further away from you, or from what we could have been that is.
I know you’ll get over what we could have been, besides, you’ll end up loving someone greater, and be a better couple then what we could have been right?
But enough of that, I came here to wish you a happy birthday!
Your 17 now, wow your old! It feels weird to know that you’re a ‘man’ now. I hope you like the presents I got you, I saved up as much money to get them all! (with the help of Jimin and Taehyung of course).
I still remember the day you brought me home to meet dad, it’s funny now that I think about it, but it was fucking terrifying when it happened.
I don’t know if you remember this but during one play date, we said we would be friends forever, that promise is still their right?
Arghhh enough about that! I can’t write for shit! And you now it! So don’t you dare laugh! (Jungkook chuckled as he read that).
I guess this is it for now? Lets try to leave our past behind us and start anew?
God, I am so awkward, even on paper, I hope you’re not reading this.
Happy birthday Jungkookie! My Ironman loving Hyung!
(PS) sorry for dumping you with some an emotional baggage in the beginning
(PPS) Ironman sucks, Captain America is better
~Love Min Taechan~
“Typical Taechannie” Jungkook chuckled out as he closed the paper and put it in the box with the rest of the items. Looking at the picture of them as kids, Jungkook smiled sadly at it.
It might take a while to get over what had happened between them, but he knows they’ll try to get over it one way or the other.
Besides that’s what best friends do right?