Chapter Text
“Lord Vader, your cape looks, like, so fetch today,” was said in lieu of a greeting.
Vader looked down at the so-called Ben Serenno.
“Obi-Wan, we meet again.”
“Again with your, like, boyfriend or whatever? I don't know your Obi Kenoob.” He looked up at Vader with those grey-blue eyes that sparkled with mirth whenever he was up to something. He bit his lip, which was covered in something shiny and sparkly. “My name is Ben, and I'm the lord of this villa.”
“You are a Jedi master.”
“A what?” Those stupid eyes blinked up at him with fake innocence. ”Those guys with the drab togas made of—” his voice lowered, like he was about to say something not allowed—“wool”?”
“You cannot fool me,” Vader said. “The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner; now I am the master.”
“Wait,” Serenno said, dragging the word. “We, like, dated? I don't talk to exes. So, like, can you leave?”
“No, you were like a father to me. But not anymore. Anak—”
“No. I only have a daughter. She's literally in her rebellious phase. Doesn’t like shiny anymore.”
Serenno made a movement that caused his shiny, almost see-through robe to fall off one shoulder, showing more skin than Obi-Wan ever did. If anything, Vader thinks that even the thought of showing this much skin would've sent his master to the Halls of Healing.
“Your… daughter?”
“Yes, her. She's so big now. It literally seems like just yesterday I had popped her out. She's totally against glitter and sequins. She'll totes grow out of it, though.”
“You birthed her?”
“Duh. Who else?”
“I was unaware you could… do that.”
“I'm, like, totally half Stewjoni.”
Vader's comm beeped.
“I will return soon, Obi-Wan. I expect to meet your daughter.”
“Good luck finding your Kenoob, guy.”