Chapter Text
Being born with a silver spoon was considered a blessing.
The standard of the perfect life.
Alador learned very quickly that it could also be a cage. Where no one and nothing would heard you to scream when you're drowning inside.
Every aspect of his life had been decided even before he was born, even before he knew what it was to have a choice of his own.
Many would think it would all be as easy as accepting what was expected of him and staying quiet.
Others would demand that he have the courage no one taught him to have.
Because not everyone gets the chance to learn it. Others learn it too late.
Alador was born as a stain on the great Blight name. No matter how much they scrubbed and cleaned, his mark could never disappear from the impeccable fine wool carpet.
Alador was not a mistake you could point a finger at and it would disappear, or correct with a firm hand. He was a quiet mistake, one that breathed too loud, that thought too deep, that felt things he shouldn't with such intensity they were difficult to describe.
Maybe he was just different.
Something his parents refused to accept.
Maybe Alador's condition was his parents' punishment. The punishment the Titan sent them for their arrogance.
One of the first things he learned was that crying would be useless, that explaining what went on in his head only provoked more anger. He was alone, even when he wasn't.
"Alador!" His mother screamed from the middle of the living room. Alador, who was in his room, hurried down from his bedroom leaving what he was doing half-finished. It was not good to keep his mother waiting.
Once he came down, and after breathing several times, he approached his mother with his eyes low.
"Would you like to explain what this is?" She asked, pointing to the living room table where his Abomination matter container rested peacefully without harming anyone.
"Today we learned a new Abomination formula at school"
"And why is it in my living room?"
Alador hurried to take the container, whispering something about how it wouldn't happen again.
"I don't understand why we let you choose your coven, we should have sent you to oracle or illusions. Something less... Disgusting" the woman said with a clearly disgusted grimace.
Alador liked his coven very much. He liked having an endless number of possibilities to create, he loved the feeling of Abomination on his hands and its chemical smell.
Maybe he liked it too much, more than normal people.
At first he had come to believe that by joining the Abomination coven he would find other people with whom to share the same passion, in the first days of school he learned that was not the case. That even in a track dedicated to one type of magic he would still be seen as strange for his fascination.
Half a year ago school had started.
At the beginning, social adaptation for Alador was difficult, difficult was too short a word.
Before starting school, he was educated at home. Which did not force him to have too many social interactions beyond his parents' parties, which always turned out to be uncomfortable and brief.
Crowds overwhelmed him, the enormous hallways made him feel crushed, the constant and endless hours of study left him exhausted with a throbbing head.
Over time, though draining, he felt that school was the first place where the world didn't seem to be constantly on the verge of breaking him.
It was late in the semester, at school the air of freedom filled the lungs of the young witches.
Alador stayed at the edges, where he wouldn't be seen by crowds or get in anyone's way.
In the distance, he saw an orange-haired girl leap from the lockers being followed by the vice principal. Nothing new to see.
His father looked at him in bewilderment that summer afternoon when he found him in the shed with a pile of metal scraps, oil on his face, and a screwdriver in his hand.
"What are you doing?"
Alador looked at him for several seconds, slowly processing the question and thinking over what he should answer.
"I want to fix an old communicator"
"What for?"
"To understand how it works"
His father frowned with clear displeasure. He took what he had come to look for and turned around.
"Don't stain your mother's carpets" he warned, closing the door behind him.
Alador rushed back to doing whatever it was he was doing with a pile of junk.
Summer was covered in windy days and oil on his hands. Alador managed to make the communicator work, he had no one to tell, he never cared, why would he care about something he had never known?
Alador didn't leave the shed all summer until his mother found him and made a fuss about how he was ruining his silkworm thread pants.
He set the oil aside and bought cheap clothes to work in. He also moved everything to his room, a place his parents refused to enter for anything in the world.
School came back in the blink of an eye.
The day he had to go back he had breakfast with his parents. His father looked at his uniform with disdain, as he always did.
For him, Hexside was nothing more than a mediocre institution. He only enrolled his son because it was the closest school, he didn't want to move to be near Glandus.
Hexside was a place where social classes mixed, where there were no clear divisions that Mr. Blight considered necessary.
Alador sat near the back of the class, next to the window so he could watch the plant track practice in the garden.
The teacher was welcoming a new student or something like that, Alador wasn't listening. He was reviewing his notes on the electric lightbulbs he had been working on.
Some new subjects were assigned to him and he met new teachers. Nothing really relevant.
The students were still the students, school was still school and everything was still as it should be.
"Alador" his father called him one afternoon. He was watching a swarm of insect demons in the garden. They were migrating.
"Yes, father?"
"When is your first evaluation?"
Alador took a moment, trying to remember exactly what his teacher had said "We'll have a project within a week to determine where we stand regarding our magic and abilities, the teacher said it's to find out who needs the most support this semester. We'll be graded on a list"
"I want the report as soon as possible, I remind you of our deal"
The Abomination track was a good magic track. It had many opportunities, it was one of the richest and most varied tracks. So when Alador asked his father about it, he did not refuse, but like everything with Mr. Blight, there were clauses. If Alador wanted to stay in that magic track he would have to be the best in his class. Mr. Blight made it very clear that he was not going to waste his money on someone mediocre.
Alador took it very seriously as he had to take everything his father said if he didn't want to spend an afternoon in the basement.
Alador nodded. The next day the project instructions were given. Create an abomination and Alador got to work as soon as possible.
In his room, his mother hated the Abomination. He couldn't cover any of her furniture or he would end up punished.
The day of the final submission Alador presented a perfect abomination, rigid and with a quite different texture. Alador explained he had been experimenting with the ingredients to create a better composition for certain tasks.
The teacher gave him the highest grade and a small gold star that he preferred to put in his pocket.
In that moment, as he returned to his seat beside his abomination, he felt a new pair of eyes on him.
Most of his classmates had already stopped looking at him or paying him too much attention. They all knew they would find the same thing as always, the strange kid.
So having a new pair of eyes on him again made him shudder.
He glanced slightly in the direction he assumed that gaze was coming from and ran into a pair of green eyes. Which looked at him with a glimmer of confusion and strangeness. Nothing new.
So Alador continued on his way to his seat.
Three days later something strange happened, something he didn't really register until it happened three more times.
Over two weeks he realized the same person had sat beside him. In different classes but beside him.
An obvious pattern he couldn't ignore once he became aware of it.
He didn't know whether to be afraid or worried. He decided to ignore it.
In the third week something changed.
The teacher assigned a partner project, Alador's constant nightmare.
Despite being the best in the class the rest of his classmates tried to avoid ending up paired with him.
Because it was difficult to work with him, really difficult.
So when he felt someone in front of him, while he remained seated at the desk buried in a notebook. His mind stopped working.
He forced himself to look at the witch in front of him, once again finding that pair of emerald eyes.
He looked at him for a few seconds and then looked away. He was going to continue with his notes, ignoring the witch in front of him when he spoke to him.
"I noticed you still don't have a partner ¿Do you want to work on the project together?"
For a second he thought he had misheard. He wanted to shake his head but the witch in front of him smiled.
"I'll take that as a yes. I'll wait for you at the entrance when school's over"
Alador was left in the middle of the classroom bewildered and with a growing anxiety in his chest.
"Why did this witch keep insisting? Why did he keep showing up wherever he went?"
When school ended he tried to slip through the crowd to avoid the green-eyed witch. He almost believed he had gotten away with it when someone grabbed his arm to stop him.
"There you are. Let's go" the taller witch said suddenly, leading him along "I'm Darius by the way"
He didn't understand why he kept following him, he didn't understand why he couldn't find the will or the courage to pull away. Either way he was already walking through the forest toward the city at his side.
"I moved to Bonesbourg not long ago, it's hectic. I'm not complaining, there are beautiful sunsets"
Darius talked and talked filling every silence. Alador wasn't really listening, he watched the path nervously.
"You're not much of a talker, are you?" Darius smiled at him.
Alador looked down again without answering.
"Well I have some ideas for the project. I know Mrs. Shou told us it didn't have to be a big deal but I like impressing people. I was thinking about Abomination solidification"
"Changing its molecular state?" Alador said, for the first time through the whole exchange.
Darius smiled "Yes"
"That's advanced level..."
"And I'm sure we'll pull it off"
Both of them made their way into the city sliding through the crowd and crossing the market to a shop in the plaza. A bakery.
Darius walked in with total confidence followed by a stumbling Alador.
A woman with fluffy hair and violet eyes greeted them with a beautiful smile when her eyes landed on Alador.
"This is Alador, he came to work on a school project. He doesn't talk much" Darius explained to her.
"I understand, don't be mean to him, Dari" the woman said looking for something in the display case.
"Psh, I don't know what you're talking about, mom"
The woman with fluffy hair handed Darius a paper bag full of cookies "Here, you must be hungry after school"
Darius took it without protest and guided Alador through the bakery until they passed into the house.
They went up to his room, Alador walked in reluctantly.
Darius let himself fall on the carpet in the middle of the room leaving the bag of cookies beside him.
Alador stood at the entrance, looking at Darius asking permission to move.
"Stop looking at me like that, just sit down and eat cookies"
Darius summoned an Abomination lasso that brought over a notebook and a pen while Alador sat beside him trying to take up as little space as possible. Following Darius's instructions, he took a cookie. Crunchy and filled with jam. It tasted very good.
Darius let out a small laugh watching how he immediately grabbed another cookie.
"Alright, so molecular alteration" said Darius opening his purple notebook.
Darius explained his theory for achieving the goal in a direct and unhesitating manner until Alador stopped him.
"It won't work"
"What? Why?" Darius said looking at his notes confused.
"You're not taking the chemical composition into account. We have to redesign the formula so it doesn't lose consistency"
"Oh..."
Darius said, just that.
Then he started writing again on a new blank page.
Alador made observations without being asked by Darius, adding points of view and telling Darius where he was wrong. Not with the efficiency with which the taller witch spoke, he pointed things out with doubt and hesitation. As if he doubted what he knew.
Finally their notes were refined by the end of the day, a large part of the work had already been done by Darius. But Alador helped to polish it.
The cookies ran out and the sun was setting.
"I have to go" Alador said looking out the window.
Darius said goodbye to him still with the notebook in hand.
When he got back, his parents didn't question where he had been all day. They only pointed out that he had cookie crumbs on his uniform.
At the end of the day he found himself realizing he had spent the whole day talking with another kid his age without wanting to disappear every two seconds.
When he went to sleep he wondered how long it would take for him to drop him.
"Alador!" Darius yelled dropping his things on the table to sit beside him "I couldn't sleep last night, I already got everything we need for the Abomination slime version you were talking about"
From that day Darius didn't leave. Sometimes Alador would walk right past, hide during breaks and somehow Darius always found him. Despite the fact that interacting with people made Alador's skin crawl, little by little, for no apparent reason, it became easy to be with Darius.
Most students avoided teaming up with him for projects because of how obsessive he was, or how stubborn, or the way he said things bluntly that made them feel bad afterward.
Darius was just as obsessive as him, just as stubborn too. But always with reasons behind it, he admitted when Alador was right and showed Alador when he was right. And he didn't seem to take offense at his very direct way of being.
"I'll handle the presentation, you handle the demonstration"
Alador nodded following behind him.
Darius was telling him things about structuring a speech when he stopped hearing footsteps behind him.
Turning around, Alador was no longer there.
"Alador?" He called out looking around the forest.
In the distance he saw Alador in a bush. Darius looked around, checking there was no one else before going after Alador.
He approached quietly and crouched beside him looking over the bush "Alador what are you doing?"
"Shh" Alador stretched out his hand covering his mouth to Darius's annoyance. Then he pointed over the bush.
Darius peered over alongside Alador finding a wild demon several meters away. It was a strange small furry creature with multiple eyes.
"It must be lost" Alador whispered to him "They don't usually live in this area. It may have gotten separated from its family, they're in migration season"
Alador spent ten minutes talking to him about its biology, its diet or how they were sensitive on the belly, with a brightness in his eyes that was unusual for him and Darius listened. It was the first time Alador had talked this much to him in the two weeks he had spent glued to his side.
"How do you know all that?" Darius interrupted him suddenly.
Alador went quiet for a few seconds, processing what he had been asked "Books... In the library at my house... It's entertaining" Alador's shoulders dropped and he looked away, closing himself off again.
"You'd have a lot of talent in the beast keeping coven" Darius admitted plainly. Alador looked at him again, as if he didn't believe what he was saying.
Alador shook his head "It's fun to read about creatures, I don't think I could tame one"
"You can't be sure of that without trying. Either way, it's getting late and there are still things to go over"
Darius got up and Alador followed behind him in silence looking one last time at the forest demon.
"And... What else do you know about beasts?" Darius asked him suddenly when they resumed walking.
Alador's expression changed drastically in seconds, dropping that same tired look he always wore for something similar to a smile.
The rest of the walk to Darius's house, Alador talked to him about all kinds of beasts and demons he had read about. The witch at his side didn't interrupt, didn't make him stop and even asked the right questions.
"Congratulations to you both. I'm impressed" their teacher smiled, handing them two small gold stars. Darius placed his happily on his uniform, Alador held his in his palm before Darius took it from him and placed it on his uniform.
"This is where it goes. Don't hide it" he murmured before returning to his seat.
When the day ended Alador didn't wait for Darius the way he had been doing for those two and a half weeks. The project was over, Darius had no reason to keep following him.
And yet, when he left school, Darius caught up to him and grabbed his arm "Hey why didn't you wait for me?" He scolded him crossing his arms.
Alador shrugged looking around "The project's over"
"Ah, so what?"
"You don't have to keep looking for me. You should go with your friends"
Darius went quiet, looking at him with evident discomfort "I thought we were friends"
That knocked Alador off balance. He wanted to laugh at how ridiculous it sounded, Alador didn't have friends, people didn't come looking for him. He was... him.
"What? I-is it that you want to make fun of me?"
"Of course not! I don't know what you're talking about. I like spending time with you, Alador"
"You shouldn't" he said, resuming his walk.
"Did I do something that bothered you?" He asked going after him.
"Just leave me alone, Darius"
"If I did just tell me"
Alador kept walking until Darius caught his legs with Abomination "Alador come on, we'd been getting along ¿Why are you suddenly acting like this?"
"I don't understand... I don't understand why you want to be my friend o-or why you even wanted to do the project with me. I thought you just wanted a good grade"
Darius freed Alador's feet "Well yes, that was it at first..."
When the class project was assigned, a line of students lined up in front of Darius. He was one of the best in class, it would be easy to get a good grade being his partner. The problem was that Darius knew beforehand he would end up doing everything alone.
When he looked to the back of the class and found Alador alone, he didn't hesitate to approach.
It was the best excuse he had at the time to talk to him and the truth is Darius had been trying for weeks.
After Alador got a higher grade than him in the abomination preparation, Darius wanted to get to know him a little better. He liked the idea of having an academic rival, the competition was encouraging. The problem was that Alador didn't seem to care about his existence at all, which was starting to irritate Darius, who was not used to being ignored.
"But it's fun spending time with you"
"I'm not fun"
"For me you are" and it was true. Alador made him laugh with his social awkwardness or his strange and unexpected comments.
Alador didn't know what to say, he firmly believed Darius was out of his mind, that he had hidden intentions behind it or was pulling his leg in some way.
He was about to refuse again, he was going to resume his walk, but Darius had already taken his wrist to pull him along another way "Plus my mom baked fairy tart to celebrate our good grade. It's getting late and she doesn't like to wait"
"B-but"
Darius didn't let him say anything more, he dragged him along toward his house.
That was how Alador got his first real friend.
Darius didn't judge him when he talked too fast after finding something that excited him, instead he contributed to the conversation or asked him genuinely interesting questions. He didn't laugh at his stutter, he helped him, guided him, simply was there, smiling for him. That was something completely new for Alador, someone who was so used to being pushed aside and ridiculed.
He made him smile, made him feel happy, made him wake up excited for a new day at school. He made him feel strange. Everything like never before was perfect.
The day everything overflowed was an ordinary day.
He couldn't find his medication that morning despite turning his whole room upside down.
His parents told him he'd get it later, that one day without it wouldn't matter. Alador knew that wasn't true, he knew every consequence that could bring. But he had learned that contradicting his parents would only make things worse.
As the first hours at school went by, everything started to crawl under his skin. The world felt too big, too loud, too bright. His emotions, usually numbed by the medication, arrived without warning like a tornado.
He doesn't remember what was happening or what it was that tipped him over the edge. He only remembered that it happened in a hallway as he was heading to his next class, with Darius behind him, who up until that moment had been insisting he tell him what was wrong. Alador kept saying nothing was happening, until it did.
"Alador!" He vaguely remembers Darius's voice calling him when he couldn't breathe. The dark-skinned witch didn't understand what was happening, but he didn't leave. He held him, pushed away everyone who was watching and waited.
After he calmed down, Darius questioned the young witch. He didn't understand what had just happened or what had caused it. Alador collapsed again, this time differently from his panic attack. A breakdown that was triggered by the thought of his parents finding out he'd had an episode at school. It was then that he told him what was going on.
Darius had a vague idea about his friend's parents, he knew they were strict. He never imagined they punished Alador by locking him in the basement, leaving him without dinner or making him stand for hours in a corner of the living room.
For Alador, the concern in his friend's eyes hurt more than he would have wanted. Alador didn't know how to process concern or tenderness.
Something in Darius changed from that moment. He decided on his own that from that day on, he would do everything in his power to protect him.
At first it was too much for him, the attention and care made him uncomfortable, especially coming from Darius, who was popular enough to choose any witch over him.
Over time, that discomfort turned into a warmth. Feeling seen and special was something he had never experienced before.
For a moment he thought he had just imagined what had happened. The blow echoed through the whole room, his cheek went numb, the burning sensation was what told him he had really just received a slap. That kept him anchored to reality.
"Did you think we wouldn't notice!?" His father grabbed him by the shirt without giving Alador the chance to process what had happened "My own son snuck out of his family's party! Odalia Raveblood came just to see you!"
His body wouldn't stop trembling and tears threatened to fall from his eyes, it was only a reaction out of inertia. But the screaming didn't intimidate him. He couldn't feel a single drop of remorse, not today. Though the slap was something new.
He didn't want to spend his fourteenth birthday surrounded by people who only held onto his last name. Odalia only spoke to him because of the interests at stake, he noticed. Odalia always believed she was smarter than everyone around her. What was actually happening was that she oozed confidence. She always underestimated others, especially Alador, who was particularly observant when they least expected it.
Going back to the party, he didn't want to be surrounded by noise, food he didn't like or people he didn't know. He didn't want to feel his mother's nails digging into his shoulder over his downcast expression or his father's disapproval over some stain on his clothes.
Only to end up sitting in a corner of the hallways until some maid found him asleep.
"Do you think you could come to my house tomorrow? I wanted to give you a surprise"
"I don't know, Darius. My parents are organizing my birthday party"
"But you said they never notice whether you're there or not"
"Are you suggesting I sneak out?" he asked, startled.
"The last thing I'd want is to get you in trouble, but... maybe?"
Slipping away an hour after the party started was easier than he expected. He knew he wasn't the best at flying, but it was the best way to go unnoticed.
He climbed up to the attic and opened the window, still unsure about what he was about to do. He had never defied his parents like this before.
"I just hope they don't notice too soon. It'll only be quick" he said to his palisman. The small rat squeaked encouragingly.
It was easier than he thought.
His father's slaps and the screaming were irrelevant. If that was what he needed to feel normal for a second, he thought it was fair. Someone like him had no options when it came to choosing his own life.
Darius's mothers threw him a small birthday party, they invited all his friends from Hexside and even baked him a fairy cake, his favorite, not his mother's horrible fire fruit cake. Everyone gave him things they knew the clumsy witch loved, books, a demon-catching net, a new toolbox and Darius gave him a pair of safety goggles.
He told himself then how much he wished he had a family like Darius's. Maybe someday, when he was older, he could get as far away as possible from that house, that life and that last name.
One of the maids treated his cheek before school, leaving it good as new.
On that occasion, he couldn't say anything to Darius. It would only make him feel guilty.
"Dari?" he called out.
That afternoon, Darius had urgently summoned him to the forest after school, claiming it was extremely important. For a moment, Alador had even worried.
Alador looked around searching for his friend, somewhat confused at not finding him. He arrived late to their meeting, as usual. It hadn't been his intention to get distracted by a demon on the way. He feared Darius had left. The witch was actually behind one of the trees trying to find the courage for what he was about to do.
"Hey, Al" he called to him stepping out from his hiding spot.
"Darius what are you doing there?"
"Oh, nothing. I heard something strange behind a tree" he muttered under his breath.
"Well why did you want to see me here?"
It seemed very strange to him that he hadn't chosen to tell him this important thing at school at some point. Darius had been acting very strangely all day, going between seeming anxious at his side, trying to avoid him, but also not wanting to worry Alador. They had barely exchanged words that day.
The dark-skinned witch played lightly with his hands trying to avoid eye contact.
"Ah... Yes, well... I wanted to know if you wanted to go to the Grom with me" he tried to seem relaxed, downplaying his request, even though inside he had a horrible knot in his stomach.
He had never been very good at reading other people's emotions. Understanding and empathizing was difficult when your whole family seemed to have no emotion beyond anger.
The wires in his brain rarely connected the dots. At some of his parents' parties they had tried to set him up with different girls, among them Odalia. He never understood any of their constant romantic intentions. Alador only saw them as manipulative.
The Grom was, by far, the most important ceremony for Hexside students. The partner you chose was special. Darius was choosing him.
With his cheeks burning, Alador nodded, not quite sure what to say.
Darius smiled triumphantly and tried to contain his excitement.
"Great! Great, awesome. I'll pick you up at seven"
Darius left making excuses about having to choose what he would wear. He left jumping around with excitement, leaving Alador incredulous at what had happened.
"Ratador..." his palisman climbed out of his pocket after being called by its witch. "I think... Darius likes me"
The rest of the week Alador spent reading magazines for young witches with flashy shiny titles about dates, lovesickness and the best love mushrooms you could give as a gift.
All of them matched Darius's behavior. His suspicions were real.
Discovering that produced something he didn't know how to identify in the moment. A combination of happiness and panic.
"I'm surprised you're going to the Grom this year, Alador" his father commented the day before the event "Are you taking Odalia?"
The mention of Odalia felt out of place. Lately his parents talked about her all the time.
"No" he answered bluntly.
His parents looked at him strangely.
"Then who are you going with?" his father asked.
"With my friends"
His parents didn't ask anything else. They just looked away, annoyed. Alador didn't understand why, he never understood why they got angry about everything. He had learned to brush off most of their gestures.
The night of the Grom came around quickly. He chose one of his many suits and tried to fix his hair. He caught himself looking in the mirror for longer than usual, not out of vanity, but out of need. He wanted to be enough. For someone.
Just as Darius had promised, he was punctual outside his house.
Before leaving, Ratador climbed into his pocket as usual. Before heading out, the small rat handed him something it had been working on for Darius.
In the magazines he had read he discovered how important gifts were when you had a partner. Eager to confirm Darius's feelings, he had planned something special to give him.
When he stepped outside, he found the dark-skinned witch as stunning as always. He wore an elegant lilac suit, his usual tied-up hair was loose, letting his locs fall over his shoulders. Alador liked it quite a lot.
"Hey, Al" For a moment the young witch forgot how to speak "You look good" he laughed stepping closer to him.
"Ah, for you" He quickly pulled from his pocket the small thing he had been working on. It was a flower-shaped metal charm. He had made it intending for Darius to be able to pin it to his suit.
The confident smile of the dark-skinned witch wavered for a moment. He seemed in disbelief at the thoughtfully crafted detail.
Without thinking twice, he pinned it to his suit.
"Thank you, it's very pretty... Shall we go?"
Alador nodded, still quite nervous.
From inside the mansion, his parents watched from one of the enormous windows.
Nothing they had planned was going the way they wanted. For a long time they had wanted to pair their son with Odalia in search of a business alliance. They had wanted, at first, for them to grow close naturally. Odalia, after all, already knew about the plans and hadn't objected. At this rate, they wanted nothing more than to force him into marriage. Not that it was a problem.
For now, they would let Alador play at whatever it was he was playing at with the middle class.
Upon arriving at the Grom hall, Darius took his arm immediately. He couldn't stop smiling.
They grabbed many snacks, chatted with their friends, who were giving Darius strange smiles, all while listening to Eda's advice for her sister Lilith, who would be facing the Grom beast.
The poor girl looked extremely nervous. She wished she had handed the task over to her sister, who had offered as soon as it was announced that she would be the Grom queen. Lilith had refused, claiming she had to be as strong and fearless as Eda.
"Hey, Alador ¿Shall we dance?"
The music was gentle, inviting the young couples to dance in the center of the room. Alador noticed it right away.
He nodded again. He wasn't really sure. Since they had arrived and Darius had taken his arm, thousands of eyes hadn't stopped watching them, people whispered when they walked past or stared open-mouthed. Dancing together again would put him at the center of attention. But how could he say no to Darius when he smiled so radiantly.
The dark-skinned witch seemed to enjoy it all so much that Alador couldn't ruin it.
Once on the dance floor, just as he had thought, the eyes on them became intense.
Darius took his hands, placing one on his side and holding the other between his.
"I-I'm not a good dancer. I'm sorry..."
"Don't worry, I'll guide you"
Closeness and touch were things Alador rarely accepted. He would never ask for them, he would almost always refuse them, and the only one he would accept them from was Darius.
Darius.
His name kept resonating in his head, occupying his every thought. It made him feel dizzy, confused, full of panic and happiness.
During the time he spent looking into whether his assumptions were right, Alador had questioned whether he felt the same as his friend. Thinking about it made him too nervous. Somehow he liked the feeling.
During the time he spent thinking about Darius's feelings, he thought very little about his own. Identifying or putting a name to what he felt had always been a challenge ¿How could he explain an emotional whirlwind walking a tightrope?
Even now he understood that he liked being with Darius more than with anyone else ¿But did that mean he was in love with him? Because even with his heart pounding and a tense smile on his face, he felt afraid. So afraid it made him nauseous. He was afraid that it was all in his imagination and that in the end, Darius felt nothing for him. That hurt.
After stumbling for what was perhaps an hour on the dance floor, the music shifted to something more upbeat. The people who had been dancing slowly and giving them space began to crowd together and jump around. Even Raine and Eda were dancing, if what they were doing could be called dancing.
"Do you want to go outside?" Darius offered, noticing his discomfort.
Alador nodded, and without letting go of his hand, the dark-skinned witch led him out to the school courtyard.
"We have a while before Lilith faces the Grom beast"
Alador said nothing, staring fixedly at their intertwined hands.
"You know, Alador" Darius began, pulling him toward a secluded spot "I've spent the last few months trying to show you something. It took me a long time to realize that hints don't work with you. I don't mind... I like how you are" They both stopped near the Grudgby court "And I'm not just talking about... Ah..."
What was it about Alador that caused that nervousness in Darius? Right now, Alador wondered all of that looking at... his friend. He wanted to understand what made it worth it.
His whole life he had been told that his existence was a mistake, a problem, something that needed to be erased. How was it that someone like Darius chose him? He wanted to know, to understand, but maybe at another moment. Right now he wanted to take what was being offered to him, for the simple reason that he wanted it.
Yes, he didn't fully understand it. During the time they had danced he had reached only one conclusion. And that was that he wanted to have Darius.
"Darius... Do I... Do you like me?"