Work Text:
"The universe cannot be read until we have learnt the language and become familiar with the characters in which it is written. It is written in mathematical language, and the letters are triangles, circles and other geometrical figures, without which means it is humanly impossible to comprehend a single word."
Opere Il Saggiatore - Galileo Galilei
Nick's bedroom
Nick looked up from his Biology textbook, brow furrowed. Just in his eyeline, to his left, were the black socked feet of his boyfriend. Crossing, uncrossing and then crossing again, a sure sign that Charlie was deep in thought on some problem.
They weren't his favourite part of Charlie, to be sure. Nick chewed on his pen contemplatively. No, his favourite part was…his hair. The onyx curls were soft, softer than Nellie's fur, when he ran his fingers through them. But they were strong enough to withstand Nick grasping them when the pair of them were in a passionate clinch. The memory of this made Nick's heart beat faster.
Or was it his dimpled cheeks? They enticed Nick to poke them whenever Charlie smiled broadly. And Nick did his level best to ensure that that happened as frequently as possible.
Nick brought his attention back to his boyfriend’s feet and glanced slowly upwards. Dark school-trousered legs leading up to a firmly-toned behind that he loved to caress and hold on to tightly whenever Charlie lay on top of him.
Nick bit his lip. Perhaps his favourite part of Charlie was not, in fact, currently visible.
If someone had told the Nick of two years ago that he would not only become intimately acquainted with another boy's cock, let alone come to consider it one of his favourite things in the world, he would have thought it some kind of “banter”, designed to make the recipient feel bad. Back then, the worst thing one of his classmates could say to another was that they were gay, and accuse them of staring whilst getting changed for P.E. The Nick of today? Well, he’s proudly bi, and instead of feeling bad he knows exactly what he'd like to feel…
"No!" Nick thought sternly to himself. This was precisely why they had to study top and tail when they were alone together. Things were much more serious academically this year with both of them in the Sixth Form and for Nick there was Biology to study with exams imminent. And not the kind of practical Biology he would rather be conducting experiments in. Nick groaned. He was getting absolutely nowhere.
At the sound of the groan Charlie looked up from his notes and dragged his attention away from inverse functions and towards his boyfriend who was moving from a recumbent posture to a seated one. Nick crossed his legs in an imitation of innocently sitting in morning assembly.
It took a moment for Charlie to focus on Nick instead of on the letters and numbers dancing in his head, and a further moment still to copy Nick's posture. Nick reached out his hands towards Charlie, who merely raised his eyebrows.
“Uh uh” scolded Charlie, refusing to take Nick’s tempting bait. “No. No! This is study time, and I really have to actually finish this chapter this evening.”
Charlie picked a plastic bound collection of papers up from the floor and gently smacked it against Nick’s outstretched hands who promptly grabbed the offending article and turned it around to more easily read the front cover.
“Euler's Mechanica? Sounds boring.” Nick handed them back.
“Nick! It’s fascinating.”
Nick scoffed. “I’d rather be reading Matchett’s The Mechanic’s Tale.”
Charlie looked confused.
“He used to be an F1 Mechanic, Char! He worked alongside Schumacher and Senna!”
Charlie shrugged, not really knowing the significance of this “Now that sounds boring!”
Nick chuckled. He would never be able to convince his boyfriend to develop any kind of personal interest in motorsports but felt lucky that Charlie let him waffle on about rugby. There was just something about being able to freely talk about the things that interested him, whether it was the drama around F1 regulations or the latest cosy colouring TikTok where this guy uses two colours, two colours Charlie!, and made a simple image look incredible. Both were hobbies that Charlie didn’t particularly care about, but were interests that Nick could delve into for hours. It was especially good if those hours were cuddled up in Nick’s bed, close together, telling Charlie all about his research. It was a different kind of intimacy. So it wasn’t luck, not really. It was love.
“Tell me about this mechanica guy, then.” Nick said. If Charlie could listen to Nick spouting on about fuel flow meters, then he could do this.
“I’ve been thinking about something Euler wrote.” Charlie said.
“Go on…” Nick encouraged.
“He has this famous quote. About the universe” Charlie found the sticky tab that marked his progress and opened up the papers again. He read aloud:
“‘..the fabric of the universe is most perfect and the work of a most wise Creator nothing whatsoever takes place in the universe in which some rule of maximum or minimum doesn’t not appear.’” He shut the folder and put it on the floor between them.
Nick scrunched up his nose. This was a bit more difficult to understand than steering wheel positioning. He reminded himself that he was intelligent and the smartest boy in the whole school was his boyfriend and Charlie wouldn't have an idiot as a boyfriend, so really he should be able to grasp this.
Tentatively he said, “I didn't think you believed in God?”
“Oh, I don't. Not really.” Charlie paused. “I mean, Abuelo and Abuela would take Tori and me to Mass sometimes, when we were little, and Tori and I went to Communion classes. I vaguely remember having our First Communion. But we never went with Mum and Dad. It was just something we did because it was tradition. And it got us into a ‘good’ primary school.“ Charlie made an inverted comma with his free hand.
This brought back a vague memory from when Nick was small and his Dad was more than an unreliable figure in his life, a time when his French grandparents paid David and him a little attention. A church in Paris. Unfamiliar words and smells. Everyone apart from the two English boys seemed to know when to stand and when to kneel and when to speak. He recalled that his grandparents seemed horrified that David hadn't had his First Communion yet.
After the divorce he couldn't remember seeing them again. He'd almost forgotten about their existence. Were they even still alive?
“That's not really the point.” Charlie interrupted his thoughts and shrugged.
“It's not?” Nick wasn't sure where this was heading.
“No. At least not to me, right here in the 21st century.”
“OK. So what does it mean to you?” Nick shifted position so that he was back lying on his front again, looking up at his boyfriend. He was going to give Charlie his full attention.
“Well. Euler is basically saying that everything is perfectly designed and therefore can be studied mathematically. He pushed the boundaries that were around at the time of faith and science.”
Nick scrunched up his nose in thought. “Like Galileo?”
“Yes! Euler used a lot of Galileo's principles and took them further. But Galileo saw science as a way to study everything that God made, whereas Euler saw science and maths as proof of the existence of God.”
Nick inched forward, worm-like, towards Charlie. He was closer to his textbook now. He gave it a gentle pat.
“I don't think that God is going to help me with Biology A-level revision.”
Charlie closed the folder, put it down, and then joined Nick in lying on the floor.
“Probably not!”
Nick hesitated for a second and then said, “Maybe I should think about going to church?”
“What? Why?”
“Well, it could be a way to connect to my Dad's parents.”
“Maybe.” Charlie didn't sound sure. He paused and then scooched himself towards Nick.
Nick gave a sly smile and wiggled forward until their noses were nearly touching.
“Nick. I don't think the Church is very down with the gays.”
Nick was entranced by the way Charlie's lips formed his careful words.
“Hmm. Or the bi's?”
“Or the bi's.” Charlie agreed.
“Yeah, OK. Maybe not then.”
“I can think of better things you could put your mind to.”
“Oh can you?” Nick grinned.
Charlie closed the tiny gap between them, placing his left hand on Nick's right cheek, then capturing Nick's lips with his own. For several long moments there was only the sound of their kissing that filled Nick's thoughts.
Then his thoughts came back into focus. Fuck shitty parents and grandparents. Fuck Maths and Biology. He didn't need to know how to alter genomes to understand Charlie or be known by him. And fuck homophobic institutions. Heaven could be found right here in his bedroom with his boyfriend.