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Thy sky used to suffocate him. There is no sky in the underworld, just darkness.
It wasn’t an infinite darkness, it was a cave.
One oppressing cave with no escape. Unless you were a very alive son of Hades.
The underworld was his refuge, the place where he could escape when real life was too much.
Under the blue sky he used to feel like he had no escape, he felt judged, and vulnerable.
He didn’t feel like that anymore.
Not since the sky came to mean a very different thing to him.
It was no longer the dwelling of aloof gods, or the door to the cold emptiness of a meaningless universe.
The sky was the blue of Will’s eyes.
Those blue, blue eyes, that always looked straight at him, with no fear.
Those blue, bleary eyes, that were looking straight at him right now.
Really close.
Too close.
Two months had passed since the day they had defeated Gea. Two months full of a nagging son of Apollo, of his friends, the letters he exchanged with his sister, the redecorating of his dreadful cabin, and general life at camp half-blood.
It was all so new, and odd, and so, very, very wonderful. Not that he would ever admit it loud. Gods forbid he lost what little dignity he still had.
And now, something else new was happening. Something Nico wasn’t prepared for at all.
It was, after all, something he had never thought was ever going to happen to him. To HIM, son of Hades. He was not supposed to experience something like this. It wasn’t supposed to be his right.
So he was currently trying to convince himself that had misread Will’ s intentions.
He was gloomy, he was scary, scrawny, blunt, an assassin. He was the ghost king, and people run away from him. Like if he was covered in blood or soot.
…or did they?
Will certainly didn’t. Instead he actively searched for his company, waking him up at the crack of dawn to go for walks, asking him to help him at the infirmary, forcing him to attend sing alongs, dragging him to camp activities…a freaking nightmare, to put it simply.
But Will was nice, so he probably did all these things just because he felt sorry for him.
And yet… there they were, at the beach, away from anybody else, the sky slowly drowning in the fiery waters.
How had they even got there?
One hour before Will had asked Nico to walk with him after dinner, his eyes shifting to the side, his hands fidgeting.
They sat on a bleached log, Will looking more and more nervous, making Nico quite uncomfortable.
Did he have to tell him something unpleasant? Had something happened?
Oh.
Was Will trying to find the courage to tell him he had finally realized that he was tired of the son of Hades? After all, with each passing day, Nico was counting down for that to happen. It always happened. Nico was just lucky like that.
Finally he heard Will sigh, and he turned to look at him.
The son of Apollo opened his mouth, only to close it again.
The he did it again.
And again.
“Ok, stop!” Nico snapped “you’re freaking me out! If you’ve got something to say, then say it!”
Will scrunched up his face, bracing himself.
Here it comes, Nico thought. At least he wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore.
“Nico, I…
here it comes
don’t want to make you uncomfortable but…
took him long enough to figure out
there is something I really have to tell you…
was there really no hope for him?
The truth is that I…”
Will seemed to really struggle for words.
Nico thought he could at least make his life easier.
“Look, Will, it’s ok, I get it. You don’t have to work yourself over it so much…I’m used to it, I don’t care.” Except he did. A lot. He freaking did, and as he stood up, hugging his bare arms against the cold that had suddenly attacked him, he felt like the pain in his chest was suffocating him. It was Percy Jackson all over again. At least this time he ended quickly.
“from now on I’ll leave you alone” he said, starting to walk away.
Then a hand stopped him.
“Leave me alone? What? WHY?” will said, half-screaming, pulling him back on the log abruptly.
Nico lost his balance, free falling on the hard wood.
“Ouch!” he yelped “that hurt!”
“serves you right for spouting nonsense, you thick bony idiot!”
Will looked angry. Furious indeed.
“But…”
“BUT WHAT? Do you want to leave that much? Is it really so unbearable to stay here at camp with me?” he was so furious that his eyes where actually shining. Or was it the sun reflecting in them?
“Leave? I don’t want to leave! But I don’t want to bother you either, so if you don’t want me around anymore, I’ll just…”
“who said anything about not wanting you around? Stop forcing your masochistic expectations onto other people! I don’t want you to leave, NO ONE WANT YOU TO, GET THAT INTO THAT THICK SKULL OF YOURS!” he was actually crying now, gods, what had he done. Will NEVER cried, he hadn’t cry even when his two brothers died. He always stayed strong for his brothers, and for the whole camp. And now fat tears were rolling down his cheeks.
“I…sigh…I don’t-sniff-want you to leave, you stupid zombie! Ever! Why do you always think that? I want you to stay with me! I want you to stay with me FOREVER, OK? THERE, I SAID IT!” he finished, painting slightly.
“…what?”
What?
What?
There he was, with a gorgeous, crying, boy, on a beach at sunset, his heart hammering in his chest and no idea of what to do.
He had fought hordes of monsters, he had faced gods, titans and giants, howled a giant statue across the Atlantic and summed armies of zombie warriors from every era.
He didn’t deal with feelings, for goodness sake, he killed stuff!
Will was trying to regain some composure, furiously wiping tears from his face with the sleeve of his hoodie, taking deep breaths.
“I…am not leaving” he manage to say. “I had already told you that two months ago, didn’t I?”
“That you did” Will said “ but then two minutes ago you were ready to ‘not bother me anymore, or whatever the hell it is that you said’!”
Nico at the decency to look ashamed, diverting his eyes.
“Because I thought that you had brought me here to tell me you were tired of me, or something like that”.
Will fell silent at that.
“You really are an idiot” he simply stated.
Nico turned towards him so fast the he gave himself a whiplash “Excuse me!?” he started to protest, but then he stopped.
What he found when he turned made any angry remark die in his throat.
Will’s blonde eyes were literally glowing, the dying sun painting a golden halo all around it. His lips were slightly parted, his cheeks puffy, and tear streaked. His blue red rimmed eyes were looking straight at his, like no one else had ever done before, with no hint of malice, or mockery.
Will was beautiful.
Not that Nico had never realized before, but it had never hit him like this.
“I like you Nico” he said, without breaking eye contact.
Then everything was silent. Not even the constant crush of waves reached Nico’s ears.
This can’t be real
“I asked you to come here because I like you. A lot”
This is not something that was supposed to happen to him
“Would you be my boyfriend?” his voice broke a little at this, making the sentence end in a breathy whisper.
That’s how they got in their present predicament.
Nico’s head was a jumbling mess of screaming thoughts.
He was supposed to be the only one that does the liking, and also the one that inevitably ends up with his heart broken.
A slight wind ruffled their hair, making goose bumps breaking on his uncovered arms.
Because he was a monster, he was unwanted and unloved.
He was…
Why wasn’t he wearing a jacket again?
But then Will was too, wasn’t he? He HAD said that he liked him, so he must be. But how could he be? Will was perfect! Beautiful, kind and liked by everyone.
Will was getting closer and closer, shifting on the log.
Surely THAT was something you were when you were broken, or born wrong.
He was so close now that Nico could smell his breath. He smelled like the vanilla cupcakes they just ate for dessert.
Something to be ashamed of, and to keep secret.
He couldn’t get closer than this, if he got any closer he would…
“So?” Will asked, in a barely audible whisper, “I really want to kiss you right now… can I?”.
He moved his eyes down, to look at Nico’s lips, breaking the spell that was keeping him from thinking straight. Except that there was really nothing to think about.
“gods, YES” Nico said. Because if this was a dream, they fuck the rules. And if this wasn’t a dream, which was impossible, fuck the rules anyway.
He was the son of Hades, and he was a freak, unloved and unwanted. He was scary and looked like a zombie, and he was kissing Will Solace, as the last shimmering lights died behind the ocean water.
He had thought many times how it would feel to kiss someone, of course, there was no lying about that.
Bit it had always been a thought for late sleepless nights in his cabin, something completely alien to him. Something that others do, not him.
He had thought about it, but never lingered on it. It hurt too much.
Now it was all he could think of.
It wasn’t as idyllic as they make a kiss to be in fairy tales.
There were no fireworks, or big fat revelations about life.
It was…wet, Nico noticed, as Will had just been crying, and it tasted like vanilla cupcakes.
He could have been worse, some remote part of his brain told him, Will could have had some onion pizza for dinner. Luckily he didn’t.
It was the sweetest, most perfect thing that had happened to Nico. It beat when his father finally recognized him, saying he made him proud. He beat the moment when his friend saved him from that jar, or when they came out of the house of hades and his sister kissed him.
It beat the moment when he saw that off-course projectile, or when Reyna descended the sky carrying the partenon.
All these moments had been wonderful, but this was his life. Finally. No war to be fought, no blood, no pain. Just Will, and his soft, soft lips on his.
How could something so right be considered wrong by anyone?
As soon as it started, it ended. It had been a short, chaste kiss, that lasted no more than a few seconds. So fast that Nico hadn’t even had the time to close his eyes.
Unblinking, he saw Will lean back, giving him some space, his blue eyes slowly opening again, a frown creasing his brows.
“…Nico?” he asked, worried by his complete stillness “Are you alright? Was that ok?”
“…Si”
“What?”
“É stata la cosa più completamente spettacolare che tu abbia mai fatto, e siccome io sono un idiota non ho idea di come dirtelo, perchè sono un idiota” he ranted, with no restrain, giving his heart out to Will, who looked utterly confused.
“Sono un idiota, come dici sempre tu, e Dei, si, si, voglio essere il tuo ragazzo, non credo di meritarmelo, ma voglio essere il tuo ragazzo, e ti voglio baciare di nuovo---”
“Nico!”
“T voglio baciare di nuovo ADESSO”
“Nico!!”
“Adesso,e dopo e poi----”
“NICO!!!”
“Che c’è?” Nico spat, annoyed at being stopped now that the heavy block had finally disappeared from his chest letting him say what had been on his mind all this time.
“You’re talking in different language and you’re freaking me out!”
…
Oh. Was he? He was, wasn’t he?
“Oh gods!” he said, panicking, his eyes widening in realization. Great. He got his first kiss and then he had started to blurt nonsense in Italian, like fucking Dante Alighieri! Way to go, Di Angelo, smooth.
“errmh…sorry about that…”
“What was that?!”
“Umh, Italian?”
“Italian”
“Yeah”
The sun had finally set, and the sky was turning a darker shade of violet.
“Well, I was hoping my first kiss would be good, but from that to actually make someone start blabbering in Italian was behind my expectations!”
His first kiss? “I…I’m actually Italian…so that wasn’t you!”
“…You are?”
That was Will’s first kiss as well? “Yeah”
“Oh. Didn’t know that”
Silence again.
“so, what were you saying? Because to me it just sounded like some kind of really musical poetry, which, knowing you, I guess it wasn’t!”
“No comment”
Great, Nico, now what? He was too sobered up to repeat what he had just said in the heat of the moment.
Then a gush of wind made him shiver visibly.
“Oh gods, Nico, are you cold?” asked Will suddenly aware of the fact that Nico was wearing a t-shirt and nothing else.
“We should go back! You’re going to catch a cold!” he said in a frenzy, going into full doctor mode.
“No, no Will WAIT! Wait!” he said, grabbing Will’s hand.
Time to man up, Di Angelo.
“What I said… among a lot of adrenaline induced nonsense, is that…yes, Will. Yes. I… want to be…your boyfriend, I mean. If you really want someone like me…which I really don’t understand, but if you REALLY do want someone like me-”
“Stop it right there with the self deprecation! We really have to have a talk about that! I DO want someone like you. I want exactly someone like you!”
Then he seemed to decide something, and pulled his hoodie off.
“Here, wear this! NO PROTEST, JUST WEAR IT! I’m not going to leave my boyfriend to shiver in the cold!”
Nico didn’t protest.
He pulled the hoodie on, and for the first time in a long while, he felt truly warm. The hoodie smelled of fire, disinfectant and spice. It was so very Will and he warmed him to the core.
“Aren’t you going to be cold?” he asked.
“Nah! Son of Apollo, remember? We have a higher body temperature”.
To prove his point, he cupped Nico’s face with his left hand, warm as the sun in August.
“So?” he asked again, a small smile growing on his face “is this a thing now? Us?”
Nico nodded, slowly, and smiled as well. Heck it was probably his creepy smile, but Will didn’t seem to mind, as his small smile turned into a full grin.
“You should smile more often, it suits you” will said, cupping his other cheek with his right hand.
So warm.
“People usually find it really creepy” he answered, his breath itching in his throat.
“People usually isn’t me”
“I’m starting to realize that…”
The second kiss of their life was more bold, and sloppy, so very sloppy, mouths clashing and teeth hitting teeth.
It was all right thought, because they had lots of time to practice. A crap-load of time, Nico was starting to realize, as he grabbed Will’s shirt in his fists, dragging him closer.
Too long had he spent looking at his friends, at his sister with Frank, at Percy and Annabeth, going on with their life, finding the other half of their soul, leaving him behind. Too long had he spent thinking that there was no one under that frightening blue sky for him, thinking that he was just lucky to be alive, and that he shouldn’t wish for anything more.
Too long had he waited to live, hiding with the dead, hiding in the shadows.
Now he had the sun in his arms, warm, and welcoming, and he could-didn’t want to-hide anymore.
After wondering for so long what it meant to kiss a boy, he finally did it.
If that meant that he really undeniably was what he was, than be it.
He was…
Gay.
Gay for Will, and gay for everyone to see.
And if that was against the rules, than you know what?
Fuck the rules.