Chapter Text
The bathroom had always been a safe place for a variety of reasons. It was private, cold, and consistent with how it captured all sounds that resided within it. That being said, it was also a safe place to get away from screaming parents, the stress of a long day, and the fullness that resided within your esophagus after a meal that you deemed to large for what you thought you deserved. Your apartment wasn’t much, but it was a lot better than hiding in the bathroom at your parents house and wishing that your mom would quit brining you up; especially so they wouldn’t come in and ask you to pick a side that you knew you shouldn’t care about. Well, you did care, but it wasn’t really about the aspect of siding with your mom or dad, it was about pretending to care about the argument and siding with whoever you would be around more for the rest of the week.
Obviously, because your dad was a mechanic, you weren’t around him very often; however, your mom was a different story. She had quit one job and got fired from the other one for not showing up. Luckily, you worked after school so it was easy to decide who to defend. You constantly checked which days your dad worked and made sure they wouldn’t line up with the days you had off; so, you’d always end up siding with your mom. You felt like you owed it to her given her role to you, although she hadn’t always needed the extra moral support. The accident had caused her to gain a dependence on different substances ranging from alcohol, to medication, to weight loss supplements, to mood stabilizers. She was stable and confident a long time ago, back when your room was filled with toys and sunlight that warmed the carpet. Days where you had the chance to admire the dew on the grass and lay on your trampoline with your cousins. These days, you were only able to look out of your window and reminisce. Before pills, before the fighting, before the bathroom was your favorite part of a house.
Now, you went to school and got updates from your aunt (who was the only mentally stable person on that side of your family). You went to school and work, joined clubs, and had a few close friends on campus who brightened your day a little. Your nights were spent watching movies you loved, cooking dinner, and staying up to do whatever assignments that were due the next day. Life was simple, quiet, and the weather was melting into a cool spring. Unfortunately, your nights were shared with the presence in your crawl space. You slept peacefully while brown eyes studied every twitch, breath, and smile that touched your lips as you slept. You, of course, didn’t ever hear the door open and the panel consistently shuffle to the left on the nights where you’d fall asleep with a book in your hand, or your laptop on your lap, never remembering that it wasn’t you setting it on the nightstand or plugging it back in. You’d also never question the small things around the house, as you were too busy with other activities to notice. Like how the clothes you always needed magically were on top of the rest of the clothes in the dryer, or how your sink didn’t ever get dirtied with water spots. You didn’t even notice that your porch light would be turned off when you woke up in the morning—even though you had left it on because you hated getting your flashlight out to be able to see so you could unlock your front door. These small acts of service made your day ten times easier, and that was all he needed. To be needed in your life, even if you didn’t know you needed him.
When you’d wake up to leave for your 9AM classes, he’d wait to get out until he could feel the garage door vibrating open, then closed; indicating that you had gone. While a longing burned deep in his chest, he was grateful to be able to roam your house, shower with your products, and even use your toothbrush. He’d lay in your bed and bury his face deep within your pillows, not caring if he ruffled up the blankets and sheets (because you never had enough time to make your bed). This morning was different and freeing. It had been four months since the operator sent him to stay in your house, to watch and learn everything about you before he took you on as a proxy. You had been struggling with you past, having violent nightmares about standing in your lawn and watching your house burn while the ashes illuminated a nine-foot figure in your yard. The headache would hit your head and cause you to immediately crumble to the wet ground in agony. Blood would pour from your nose while tears and snot ran down your face. The sound felt like a thousand cymbals and hornets infiltrating your brain, rendering the rest of your body immobile. The figure took slow, calculated steps, obviously enjoying the suffering it inflicted on you.
“Why? Why?” Was all you could get out sometimes.
The figure would look down at you while thin, black appendages spilt out of its skin. He would use them to lift you into the air and study you for a while, wiping the snot and blood away. The headache, still reverberating your brain, would break in between what could be described as an accumulation on voices.
“You will find me and I will break you into nothing. I will rebuild you into what I need and you will be more whole than you ever have been. This is my promise, for you have already been chosen,” the figure would say.
He would drop you into an endless black void where your parents screamed for you to help them inside of their burning house. Of course, you’d wake up on those mornings covered in sweat with tears streaming down your face. You’d peel off your damp clothes, drop them to the hardwood floor, and get into a cool shower. This morning, before you left, was no different and Toby loved it. He loved rolling around in your sheets that smelled of you, using a spoon you had left in the sink to eat some cereal you bought earlier that week, and waiting for you to come back. What marked this day as different was that when you came home from work, you’d be leaving with him and he would never have to hide from you again. He had left a few nights ago to go to the cabin and get the medicine that Jack dropped off before coming back to your house. The plan was so simple and perfect that he couldn’t help but smile a little bit as he added the sleeping pills to your pint of Ben and Jerry’s that you always got into after you ate. As he walked upstairs and got back into the crawl space, he put his cheek to the floor and felt the house shudder as the garage door opened up.
“S-See you sss-soon,” he giggled while sliding the panel back over to its original position.
Soon after you opened the door, he listened for the sound of your keys jingle and you set them on the hook and the heavy sigh that followed your shoes coming off. But it never came. Instead he heard you laugh. A warmth spread throughout his chest as he listened to you talk until he realized that there was a second voice. A masculine voice. That warmth began to spread from his chest to his cheeks and ears as he pressed his head to the floor to hear what was going on.
“No, you’re so right!” You chimed, “I do not know what Dr. Fuellen was on today, I literally almost died when he said that.”
“Dude, I’m telling you that he gets high during his lunch break before he comes to teach us. Laney was telling me that she walked into his office to argue with him about her “C” on the research paper and she saw a bottle of Tillman’s Tranquils on his desk,” the male voice responded.
Toby’s nails dug into the calluses on his palms as all the happy feelings he had moments ago went away. He listened to you and the other person speak for what felt like hours before his phone buzzed. It was 1:13AM and Jack texted him.
‘Where are you? The truck is outside and Tim keeps calling me asking what is taking so long’
Toby rolled his eyes and huffed. He began to move the board out of the way before he heard the male voice again.
“Well, I better get going. Thank you for having me over! I will definitely have to let you know what happens in the book. Also, I can’t believe that Laney didn’t come to literature club tonight… but it was nice to grab dinner and catch up with you!
“It was so nice to catch up with you too! I will see you tomorrow, let me know if Laney is okay. I know how she gets after a crash out and if I need to call her, I will,” you said, that same chime of laughter left over in your voice from earlier.
Toby paused and listened to the front door shut. He smiled and pulled his phone back out to text Jack.
‘Just a little while longer. Had unexpected company. We will be there soon :)’
He felt the same surge of joy tingle throughout his body as he realized that you would be leaving together for the first time. Of course, you didn’t know this, but it still made him feel good. The only problem was waiting to see if you’d eat the ice cream in the freezer since you had already gone out. Thoughts of violence crosses Toby’s mind but he quickly brushed them off as he knew he wouldn’t have the strength to hurt you, even if it made things easier on his part. He felt his pocket buzz again, except this time the ringer went off. His breath hitched as a loud, ‘PING’ rang through the empty room. He waited and listened for your footsteps and pressed his ear to the floor again. There was nothing but a thick silence that followed. He began sweating as he heard you come up the stairs. He quietly slid back into the crawl space, but to no prevail. The space was only about 6’0 length wise and 3’0 width wise. He had to cram himself into it and the only thing he could do was wait for you to start looking and eventually find him. Because of his tics, he was usually able to keep quiet as this mission was relatively low-stress. But now, with you standing two feet away from the closet, his tics got worse and his neck cracked, causing his head to smack the wall.
You let you a gasp as your heart banged around so hard in your chest that you felt it in your head. You reached for the door handle, but before you were able to open it, a knock sounded at the front door.
‘What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck,’ you mumbled under your breath as you slinked down the stairs. You looked out of the peephole to see who was there. A man with a cigarette and brown hair stood outside of your door, leaning against the frame. You watched as he knocked again and put his hand back into his pocket. You took a deep breathe and shakily opened the door.
“Um, good evening sir, can I help you?” You asked, through a crack in the door.
“Evenin’ ma’am,” he rasped, “I was just wonderin’ if you knew your garage door was open?”
You opened the door wider and walked outside to find that your garage door was wide open. Normally, this wouldn’t bother you; however, you couldn’t remember if you locked the door that led from the garage into your house. A cold chill ran down your back and you turned around to see the smoking man staring at you.
“Why so quiet? I ain’t gonna hurt you, I was just lettin’ you know,” the man said, offering a tight-lipped smile.
You thanked him and said goodnight as you walked into the garage, while he watched you the whole time. You pressed the button and with a low ‘hum’ the door began lowering itself. You opened the door inside of the garage to find that you didn’t lock it, and gave yourself a small smack on the forehead. Once you were inside, you turned on the kitchen light and walked around to lock the front door. To your horror, the door was wide open and the cold night air swept through your living room. You body turned to ice as you spun around to unlock the kitchen door. Right before you were able to get it open, a door upstairs let out a long ‘croak’ and bile began to build up in your throat. You threw open the kitchen door, stepping out into the garage and hitting the button. You ran to the door and slid under, not caring about the cold concrete stinging your thighs. You rolled out and jumped up, preparing to run down your street. Before you could take a step, a violent punch landed itself in your stomach, knocking you down onto the ground as the wind rushed from your lungs. The man with the cigarette was standing over you as you writhed in pain on the ground. He spat next to your head and rolled his eyes.
“You’re gonna forgive me for this one day,” he mumbled.
You began to get up, but he pushed you back down onto the ground with his boot on your chest. You began to cry and you watched as his face slightly change before a truck with no plates pulled up on your driveway. You silently prayed that your neighbors were awake and that someone had seen this and already called the cops. But the neighborhood was quiet… too quiet. And it wasn’t until then that you noticed that the street lamps were void of light. The darkness began to overcome you as the breath quickened in your chest. Your tears were streaming down your face as the truck door opened and another man got out.
“Tim… when Toby sees this he’s going to-“
“I don’t give a rat’s ass what that little fuck-wad is goin’ to do,” the smoking man growled, “Brian, I got here, got the job done, and now I’m waiting on him to pack some of her shit to bring her to the house.”
The conversation swirled around in your gut and made you nauseous. A million thought raced inside your head. ‘What house? Where am I going? Am I going to die? I hope it’s death, I’d rather die than be raped or be sold into sex slavery,’ you thought to yourself, crying even harder now. You heard the garage door close and watched as the lights in your house turned off. You heard the front door shut and anther man walked around the corner holding your stuff, twitching.
“Tim! W-what ttt-the fuck?!” The man hissed.
He shoved past the driver and who you could now identify as Tim and he dropped to your side.
“I’m s-so sss-sorry, I sh-should’ve-ve been fff-faster a-at getting your st-stuff tog-gether,” he said to you. Although you couldn’t see him, he sounded younger than both Tim and the driver and you figured that he had a speech impediment or something similar.
“I p-packed your ffff-ff-favorite cl-clothes and your sh-shower s-stuff and some other th-things you use,” he said as his hand found your hair.
Dread filled your stomach as realization hit. This man knew about your favorite clothes, your shower products, and other things you used day to day. You realized that this wasn’t random, it was a plan. These men had been watching you for so long that they knew personal things about you, they knew too much. You felt adrenaline kick into your system and the rage and fear that came with it. Using all of your strength, you kicked the younger man in the groin as hard as possible and pushed yourself up off of the ground. Running past both Tim and the driver, you ran down the street and didn’t look back. You ran out of the neighborhood as you heard what sounded like, ‘you idiot,’ ‘bitch,’ and, ‘get her,’ filled the ink black night. You bounded past the closed corner store and ran straight into the woods.
The leaves and sticks cracked and crinkled under your feel as wet blades of grass and wild wheat grabbed at your ankles. Your breath was ragged and your tears blurred your vision. When you got deep enough into the woods to see the road, but still be hidden, you hid behind a tree to catch your breath. You waited and sank down to the ground, burying your jaw into your knees and keeping your sweat-burned eyes on the road. A few cars passed by before a truck pulled onto the side of the road. You slinked back quietly behind the tree and kept your hand over your mouth. The three men got out of the truck and looked into the woods, walking along the shoulder. The younger man got out, grabbed something out of the truck, and began to walk into the woods while the other two lit cigarettes and watched him.
“I-I’ll be so a-quick! I sss-swear! Time m-me and y-you won’t b-be dis-sss-sapointed!” He called to the other men.
“Toby, if I have to come into the woods to help you find her, I’m goin’ to kick your ass. If you weren’t such a panty-sniffin’ freak, the operator would have her trained and ready by now. My ass is now on the line because of you. Get it done,” Tim said, flicking the ash off the end of the cigarette.
You held your breath and pressed yourself into the tree, hearing Toby sprint into the dense woods. His excited giggles and neck cracking made more tears form in your eyes and roll down your cheeks. He was about forty feet away from you when you heard him call out.
“Y-Y/N, I’m s-so sorry. Ppp-please c-c-come out so we c-can t-t-talk t-this out,” he asked.
You squeezed your eyes shut and held your breath as you heard him getting closer. He kept calling out to you and kept asking you to come out while getting closer and closer. Finally, the walking stopped right next to the tree you were hiding behind. Your shaking body rattled your teeth and you couldn’t stop your breath from quickening as you heard him laugh.
“H-honey, I-I won’t hurt yy-you, I k-know you’re ttt-there, I c-c-can smell your p-p-perfume,” he said kneeling down to whisper to you from behind the tree. You shot up and tried to run but he caught your arm and pulled… hard. You felt both your shoulder and elbow ‘pop’ and you cried out. He was on top of you in a flash apologizing and wiping the dirt from your face.
“S-s-sshhh… i-it’s okay,” he said kissing your forehead, “J-Jack will t-take a l-look at th-that later. I-I’m so-sorry, I’m j-j-just so ha-happy you’re here with m-me,” he whispered, all while taping your wrists and ankles together. He finished by gently placing two pieces of tape over your mouth and planting a soft kiss on your tapped lips.
You laid there crying—partly because an insane man named Toby was laying on top of you in the woods-kissing you, and partly because your elbow and shoulder were dislocated. Toby picked you up off of the forest floor and threw you over his shoulder, resting his head on your hip. You blinked tears out of your eyes and watched as they fell into the dark abyss of the forest floor, homogenizing themselves with the dew. Once you reached the truck, Toby gently placed you in the backseat and smiled. Tim and the other man were up front and Toby scooted over, sitting right next to you in the backseat.
“S-shh… It’s b-b-better if you don’t-t fight. Plus, y-you won’t mmm-make T-Tim mad if you-you’re quiet,” Toby said in a hushed voice, laying his head on your shoulder.
Tim glanced in the back set while throwing the truck out of park and pulling off onto the road.
“Get some rest, you’ll need it… and if you try anythin’, I’ll pull the truck over and snap your arm, do you hear me?” Tim said, flicking the last of his cigarette out of the window.
You shook your head and nodded; partly too scared to say anything, and partly because you were too tired. Between the hum of the engine and Toby’s soft snoring, you found yourself looking at the trees that whizzed by, illuminated by the pale glow of the moon. Your body began to betray you, and you felt yourself beginning to get tired. You tried to keep your eyes on anything you could to stay awake, but it seemed that the further you drove, the less and less cars were on the road. Your body was limp and sore, and your arm was aching with a dull throb. Before your eyes gave way to the inescapable dark that was quickening itself upon you, you couldn’t help but glance out of the window one last time, and just for a second, it almost seemed as if the trees were changing.