Archive of Our Own

They entered the bullpen together as they normally did. Blair looked around searching for any hostile looks, to his surprise there were none. As a matter of fact most of the officers seemed to be relieved when they saw him there. Several of them came up to him and asked how he felt. No mention was made of him being in a relationship with Jim.

They went over to Jim's desk to go over some paperwork Jim had been lagging behind on because of having been taking care of Blair for the past couple of weeks. Jim listened in on snatches of conversations around the room. No one was making any negative comments about them. Most people just seemed to be glad that Sandburg was back in action. Jim shook his head wondering what was going on.

He heard Blair's sharp intake of breath next to him and he looked over swiveling his head to see who Blair was looking at. He had to stop himself from reacting when he saw the officer who had caught them in the hospital making his way over to the desk.

Blair reached over and placed a hand on Jim's arm. Jim looked as if he was ready to go ballistic at any negative comment made towards his Guide. He just hoped that the officer didn't do anything that would set Jim off. He keep his face neutral as the officer reached his desk.

"Hello Sandburg, looks like your feeling better"

"Uh, yeah" Blair answered he looked over at Jim, confused at the officer being so pleasant to him.

"Yeah, I came by to see how you were, always like to check on colleagues who go down, but you uh looked like you were being pretty well taken care of." the officer said turning to smile at Jim a soft smile on his lips.

"Yeah I was" Blair said softly turning to smile hesitantly up at him.

"Yeah that was a strange day, was a little hazy that day wasn't it. I wasn't exactly seeing things clearly...I thought I saw something but now I'm not so sure you know what I mean?" he said looking at the two of them intently.

"Yeah I know what you mean Officer Smith, the eyes can sometimes play tricks on you" Jim said carefully.

"That's true enough. Your a good guy Sandburg, glad to see you back on your feet again" he said glancing at Blair before moving away.

Blair and Jim looked at each other having to stop the wide smiles from breaking out over their faces.

"One down Chief"

"Yeah, and a whole police force to go" Blair said wryly but with a smile as he turned back to the files they had been about to work on.

Jim and Blair jumped when they heard their names shouted out loud. Jim looked up his expression immediately becoming a mask when he saw the look of on Simon's face.

They stood to go into the Captain's office, Blair's stomach was doing flip flops. Simon wouldn't even look directly at them and from the way Simon looked he didn't think Simon had called them in to discuss a case.

Simon took off his glasses rubbing at his eyes before he turned to face them. This was the part of the job he hated, having to lay down the law to his fellow officer. He watched Jim and Blair as they exchanged glances. He wondered if they even realized how much of themselves they gave away. Well, that wasn't fair. He just knew what was going on because he knew Jim post-Carolyn/pre-Blair and post-Blair. Post-Blair was definitely better. He had suspected this might happen but still was unprepared when it actually did. He sighed inwardly at what he had to do.

"I'll get straight to it. You guys are..in a relationship aren't you?"

"Yes Simon" Blair said after looking up at Jim to get his assent to answer affirmatively.

"Jim, you know that partners are not supposed to be involved...." "Yes but..." Blair interrupted desperately.

"I'm sorry but the rules are clear"

"With all due respect sir. We are hardly your typical partners" Jim said to Simon, maybe if he reinforced the uniqueness of their position Simon would change his mind.

"Jim, I can't arbitrarily change the rules. Do you think I _want_ to do this? I know how Blair has done for this department, but I'm sorry my hands are tied"

"Simon..." Blair tried to interject.

"No, I'm sorry Blair...as of now you will no longer be working with Jim."

Blair walked out of the office still stunned. He went over to his backpack to take his I.D out to bring it into the office to hand over to Simon.

Jim stood stock still in the office unable to believe what had just happened. He wanted to pummel something or shout at Simon over how ludicrous the situation was but he couldn't trust himself to speak. He looked at Simon's face and was aware enough to realize that this had not been an easy decision for Simon. He sighed to himself, he wanted to be angry at Simon but he couldn't be. He could even understand the reason for the no dating rule, but this was different. He needed Blair. Nothing about his relationship with Blair was typical.

Blair returned, moving silently and placed his I.D on the table slowly. He still had not said anything since Simon's decision. He felt as if he did not even have the strength to lift his head up to look at Simon.

Jim watched Blair, head hung down his hair hiding his face. He reached out and touched Blair's hair as he walked by. Blair looked up at him. Their eyes locked, each trying to draw from as well as impart strength to the other.

"I'll see you at home Jim" Blair said smiling softly, his smile not reaching his eyes, as he left the office. Jim waited a moment before leaving the office as well. He did not look at Simon as he left. He went to his desk and spent the rest of the day going through his files mechanically.

Blair wandered back to the loft. He had thought for a moment of going to the University to catch up on paperwork, but he knew he would not be able to concentrate.

All he could think of was the days events. What would it mean for Jim to be without his Guide to watch his back. They had briefly considered lying to Simon if he confronted them about their relationship but had decided not to. Simon was a friend and it would not have felt right to lie to him. They decided that they would not volunteer information but would answer truthfully if asked. Now they had to face the consequences of that decision. It was a decision they had made the night before. Even so he had felt unprepared for Simon's decision and he knew from Jim's body language that Jim's feelings mirrored his.

Blair spent the rest of the week pretending to do work. It was all a pretense, he was sure if he went the next month to look at his notes all he would find would be total gibberish. He waited impatiently for Jim to come home to see if Simon had by some miracle changed his mind. Just as he had waited every day since that day. He began to prepare dinner keeping an eye on the door for when Jim walked in. When he heard the lock click he looked up wanting to see Jim's expression as he walked through the door.

Jim looked over to see Blair standing in the kitchen looking at him hopefully, he shook his head sadly knowing the reason Blair was watching him expectantly. He watched as Blair turned to concentrate on the vegetables he had been chopping for dinner. He set his keys in the basket by the door as he kept his eyes locked on Blair. Blair's hair hung forward once again hiding his face from Jim but he knew and Blair knew that it wouldn't work. He heard Blair's breathing going ragged and his hands begin to shake. He moved forward and took the knife out of Blair's hands turning Blair around to face him.

Blair let Jim enfold him in his arms. He did not cry outwardly but inwardly was a different matter. He did not want to cry in front of Jim again he wanted to appear in control for Jim, but his body betrayed him. He felt the shaking begin in his body and moments later felt it mirrored in Jim. They were both swirling in a whirlpool of emotion with only each other to hold onto. Somehow it seemed enough.

Jim walked Blair over to the couch to lay with him there as their trembling subsided. He stroked Blair's hair lovingly as he tried to will the outside world not to intrude on their love.

"Your doing it again" Blair whispered as he snuggled against Jim's chest.

"What?"

"You keep humming some tune, you did it last week too when I was crying, why do these moments remind you of it?"

"It's not just the moments Chief, it's you..it's everything that's going on right now, it's what I feel for you" Jim said smiling down at him.

"Maybe one day Chief, right now I just want to hold you. To make you forget everything except me and you"

"If anyone can it's you" Blair said smiling at Jim, he wanted this to be held by Jim, loved by Jim.

He turned towards Jim ready to give it all to him, he wanted Jim to feel as cherished as he so often made Blair feel.

Blair stood up tugging at Jim to stand with him. When Jim stood Blair smiled up at him and then gave him a quick fierce hug before grabbing his hand and leading him up the stairs. Jim followed silently until they got to the top of the steps.

"Blair?" he said reaching out to tilt Blair's face up so he could look into his eyes. He gasped at the total trust and love he read there as well as the desire. He could feel Blair's trembling match his own, but this was a totally different trembling than the one they had felt before.

Blair turned away and walked towards the night stand by the bed rummaging around inside, his back towards Jim. He pulled something out and held it in his enclosed fist for a moment. He was a little nervous, this would not be his first time but he hadn't had a male lover since he had been living with Jim and he wasn't sure if he would feel any pain after not having done this in so long.

"Blair" Jim called to him concerned about the slight tension he felt emanating from the other man.

Blair relaxed when he heard Jim say his name, amazed that Jim's voice could cause such a reaction. He knew he could trust Jim, to try not to hurt him. He smiled and walked back to Jim, eyes locked on his. He picked Jim's hand up and placed something that felt smooth inside and closed Jim's fist over it. Jim brought his hand up and opened it. In his hand Blair had placed the jar of the lube they had kept in the nightstand for when Blair was completely healed from his injury.

"Blair...are you sure?" he asked. He could barely speak over the lump that formed in his throat. He knew that Blair hadn't been with a man in a long time, and he knew that in those times he been he had definitely not been recovering from a bullet wound. He himself had never been with another man before, had never even thought about it before Blair. He didn't want to hurt Blair, he only wanted to love him.

"Yes, I love you. I want you inside of me. I want us to be one Jim. Let me do this for you" Blair said, he could see all of the thoughts fluttering across Jim's face, amazed at how open Jim had become. Blair reveled in it, this was his Jim. The side of Jim only reserved for private moments with Blair.

He smiled as Jim placed the lube on the table and began to remove his clothes. He removed his own clothes, Jim watched him as he sat on the bed. He saw Jim's eyes trail down to where he had been shot and placed his hand on his jaw to bring Jim's face back up.

"No Jim, we are here to forget. There is only us now. No past occurrences. Just us" he said as he kissed Jim, planting little kisses all over his face.

He let Jim pull him down onto the bed to and pull him close to him. They shared a kiss that said I love you, you are everything to me. There was the slow exploration of bodies each touch a caress. Each caress a declaration of love. They had not been idle in the past week, far from it, but this was different. These caresses held the promise of an ultimate union, their bodies joined as one.

Jim rolled Blair gently onto his back and straddled Blair's waist he began to kiss his way down Blair's body, reveling in Blair's scent and the comfort it brought to him to have Blair here with him. He felt a tug of remembered agony when he got to Blair's injury a reminder that Blair could have been lost to him. He looked up at Blair's face as Blair reached forward to run his hand over Jim's hair.

"I love you" they both whispered to each other so as not to break the spell, the magic being woven around them in this moment.

Jim returned to his attention to Blair's body, his erection throbbing, needing release. Needing Blair. He licked at Blair's throat, he could feel Blair's pulse racing beneath his lips. He planted kisses all over Blair's chest finally coming to Blair's nipple. He licked at one while he rolled the other one in his fingers he could feel them hardening and continued his attentions until they were rock hard. He moved back to look at Blair, eyes shining up at him body totally attuned to his. Perfect. Blair. Those lips so full he could not get enough. He moved back up to share a kiss with Blair, as his hands continued their exploration.

When they were both quivering with need, Blair reached over to the bottle of lube and opened it and began to apply it to Jim's erection in loving strokes. He never once took his eyes away from Jim's face loving the shifting emotions he saw there. Pleasure...wonder, but always coming back to love. When he was sure Jim was prepared he passed the jar to Jim. He gave Jim a soft kiss before he turned on his side, mindful of his injury.

He smiled as he felt Jim place a kiss in the small of his back the smile turning to a gasp when he felt the cool finger pushing inside of him. He willed himself to relax as Jim prepared him.He could feel Jim trying to hold back with the effort to make sure he could get Blair as loose as possible for minimum discomfort. Jim entered the second finger and worked it into him and then entered a third when he felt Blair relax again.

With the third finger Blair felt full. He felt worry begin to knaw at him before he felt Jim place a kiss on his shoulder and he felt the tension drain away slightly as Jim positioned himself behind him. It had been a while since he had been with a man he knew it might hurt but this was Jim. He knew Jim would try not to hurt him and was glad for it. It would be worth it, to share this first time for Jim.

Blair felt Jim begin to enter him and could not help the gasp that escaped him. He felt Jim stop immediately and place a hand on his hip as if asking permission to continue.

"Chief?"

"It will be okay Jim...just go slowly" he said. Jim nodded his head though Blair couldn't see him and placed another kiss on the small of his back. The discomfort receded replaced by the reemergence of the pleasure he had felt before and he reached back to entwine his hand with Jim's to let him know he could continue.

His smile returned when he felt Jim enter him fully. This was what he wanted. To have Jim inside of him, to give it all to him.

Jim began rocking inside of him once he was all the way in. This was pure heaven. Jim felt as if he were right where he belonged. He had never imagined that it could be this way. He brought his hand around to wrap it around Blair's erection as they found their rhythm. Blair felt himself fragment and he came as Jim's seed rushed into him. He felt as if he no longer knew where he ended and Jim began and furthermore it did not matter to him. He would always remember this, the first time when they were truly one. His gift to Jim.

He turned towards Jim and smiled to Jim when he leaned down to kiss Blair lovingly.

"Thank you Blair...I love you"

"Always" Blair said as he held Jim in his arms. "How do you feel?"

"Cherished" Jim said. Blair smiled again his arms tightening around Jim.

"Now you know how I feel all the time" Blair said.

They fell asleep in each others arms, forgetting everything but their love for each other.

Jim awoke later when he felt Blair begin to move against him. He could hear Blair mumble incoherently in his sleep. He moved up on the bed to run a soothing hand down Blair's back trying to soothe his trembling as Blair awoke with a start.

Blair let Jim hold him as he tried to compose himself.

"Want to talk about it Chief?" Jim said

"Not really" Blair mumbled into Jim's chest.

"How about you do anyway?"

"It was a nightmare....real bad. I dreamt that you were called to work on a case, there was a guy with a gun but you didn't see him because you had zoned out. H-he shot you, and I couldn't protect you. I-I-I wasn't there for you" Blair said hopelessly.

"It's okay Chief, nothing like that has happened. I haven't been called in any dangerous cases or anything. Everything is ok..." as Jim spoke the phone rang.

Blair reached over to pick it up, it was Simon.

"Blair, we've got a madman on the loose, please get Jim. We need his help"

Blair sat on the bed watching Jim dress to meet up with Simon. He clasped his hands together tightly. It was all he could do not to throw himself at Jim and stop him from leaving. He stood up to get dressed as well so that he could walk Jim down to the truck.

"Can't they get another officer to do this Jim?"

"No. This is my job Blair I have to do this." Jim said sighing, he didn't want to leave. He would much rather stay in bed with Blair than go out chasing criminals but what could he do? Simon had said that the suspect was holed up in a warehouse. Hopefully he could "sniff" him out and then get back to the loft. With Blair. Where he belonged.

He finished dressing and looked over at Blair who had also finished. Blair looked down at the floor his body set in tense lines. Jim could hear his heart rate increase slightly. He reached over to give Blair a brief hug.

"It's going to be fine Blair" Jim said looking down into his face. Blair nodded giving a small smile but Jim could see the slight tremble in the smile, he brushed his hand across Blair's lip as if trying to soothe out the tremble. This time when Blair smiled at him it was a more heartfelt smile.

He turned and grabbed his gun and he and Blair descended the stairs and exited the loft. Jim gave Blair a quick peck as he hopped into the truck and left, Blair watching him with an uneasy feeling in his stomach.

Simon looked up to see Jim exiting the truck. He felt a pang of guilt when he realized that it seemed so odd that Blair was not by his side. He hadn't wanted to separate them but he felt as if he didn't have a choice. They were not partners in the technical term but every one thought of them as partners. What kind of message would it send out to the other officers if they realized Jim and Blair were an item. There could be a real problem if other officers came forward and wanted to begin relationships with their partners.

Jim reached the truck and parked next to Simon, to gauge the situation. Simon had nothing new to report however. They didn't even know if the man was holding any hostages. He listened in on the warehouse but couldn't hear anything in the warehouse.

"Simon, he gave us the slip. There's no one in that warehouse"

"What?!?. Are you.." Simon stopped when Jim raised his hand, he leaned his head in that way that said he was listening intently to something.

"He's in the alley next to the warehouse" Jim said pointing down the lit alley. "There must be a side door to the warehouse. He's probably waiting for the right moment to just walk out of there" Jim said standing up "I'll go check it out myself. Don't want too many people over there because then he will realize we are onto him" Jim said.

Simon nodded and watched as Jim approached the alley. He could see Jim's broad shoulders tensed and ready for action.

Jim walked forward slowly trying to act as if he were watching the warehouse but at the same time keep himself aware of the heart beat he heard accelerating from the alley the closer he got to it.

He got almost to the entrance of the alley. The heartbeat had increased, he focused his sight quickly to try to find out where the person was. He began to feel a sense of panic when he felt himself slipping into a zone out. He tried tune down his vision but it was no use.

Simon watched as Jim stilled confused for a moment before it hit him that Jim had zoned. He was about to call for cover for Jim when he saw a man running forward from the alley gun pointed straight at Jim. He heard the shot fired at the same time he called for the other officers to stop the perpetrator.

Blair stood on the sidewalk he had been watching what was happening ever since leaving the cab he had followed Jim in.

He saw Jim walking towars the alley and turned his attention to it, knowing that if Jim was walking there then that was where the suspect was hiding.

He saw Jim approach cautiously and then stop. He knew instantly that Jim was zoning. He heard Simon begin barking orders all of a sudden. He whipped his head around when he saw someone run out the shadows with a gun. He watched helplessly as his nightmare was played out before his eyes. It was just like in the nightmare. Jim zoned out and helpless...being shot. Blair ran forward not caring if the madman shot him as well he was not going to stand by as his lover got shot. He ran forward still hearing Simons' shouts in the background.

Jim stood there, completely unaware of the speeding bullet headed straight for him.

"Jim" Blair screamed as he ran forward.

"Jim snapped back into focus at the sound of his Guide's voice, he looked and saw the bullet heading towards him and he moved, hoping he had enough time to evade the bullet.

Blair cursed out loud as he saw Jim fall to the ground. The officers shot back at the suspect and he too fell, the officers going to cover him with guns drawn in case he started shooting again.

Blair reached Jim at the same time that Simon did. Simon called for an ambulance as Blair knelt over Jim. Blair ran a hand over Jim's face and Jim opened his eyes smiling up at Blair.

"Thank you" Jim said.

"For what?"

"You saved my life, if it hadn't been for you I would be..."

"Don't say it" Blair said shuddering "Are you okay?" he asked, concerned trying to see where Jim had gotten shot.

"I'm okay, just a little nip in the arm" he said showing Blair where the bullet had skimmed his arm. "When you called my name I snapped out of the zone and was able to move out of the way...almost anyway" he said smiling slightly.

Blair brushed his hands over Jim's face again and stepped aside as the paramedics came to work on Jim.

Simon had walked away to let them have some privacy but he had been there long enough to hear Jim thank Blair. The young man definitely deserved those thanks, if it hadn't been for him...Simon banished the thoughts forming in his mind and turned to the suspect who lay dying on the ground as the paramedics tried to revive him.

Blair drove Jim back to the loft. Blair knew Jim was okay since he was sitting right next to him but he couldn't get the horrific scene of Jim falling to the ground out of his head. It was such a terrible thing to see someone you love hurting and not being able to do anything about it.

Jim watched Blair out of the corner of his eye. Blair held on to the steering wheel so tightly he wouldn't be surprised if it had dents in it when he let go. He could hear Blair's accelerated heartbeat which meant that he was still scared. Well he was scared to, he could have died had it not been for Blair. The bullet had been headed straight for his chest. Luckily he had been able to move far enough out of the way.

The drive home was silent. Jim was really worried, Blair was normally so energetic now he was so till like he was afraid to move. He hadn't touched Jim since the shooting but he had caught Blair looking at him. Each time it was the same thing, he would look at Blair and Blair would act like he was totally focused on the road in front of him. He had caught the look in Blair's eyes though, concern and fear.

They entered the loft together, Blair immediately began making tea and puttering around the kitchen. Jim sat on the sofa looking at him thoughtfully. Blair fumbled around, looking for things to do. He could feel Jim's gaze on him but didn't want to meet his eyes. He knew Jim was concerned for him and wanted to know what was wrong, but he didn't want to burden Jim. Jim after all was the one who had gotten shot. Blair felt as if he should try to comfort Jim and not the other way around.

Finally the tea was done and he set the mugs on a tray to carry them into the living room. He was still distracted by his thoughts and didn't realize where he was walking until he bumped into the counter. The tray slipped from his hand at the impact to the still sensitive gunshot wound. Jim jumped off the couch as Blair cried out.

"Blair! Are you okay?" he asked as Blair bent to pick up one of the mugs from the floor.

"Yeah. I'm fine don't worry..." he broke off as the mug came apart in his hand, one of the shards cutting him. "Damnit" he said under his breath as he straightened.

"Let me take a look at that" Jim said, reaching for Blair's hands.

Blair snatched his hands away "I'm fine" he said turning to the sink. He reached for the faucet but his hands were shaking and he couldn't even turn the water on. Jim reached over silently to turn the water on for him and took his hand in his to run it under the water. He left Blair standing there and came back with the a few bandages to put on Blair's cut which he bandaged, still silent. He watched as Blair cleaned up the spilled tea.

Jim came to stand in front of Blair and looked at him searchingly.

"Talk to me Blair" he said.

"I'm fine Jim really" Blair said, turning away from Jim's intense gaze and walking over to the sofa. Those eyes were piercing. When Jim looked at him that way he felt naked like there was nothing he could hide from him.

Jim sighed and jumped over the back of the couch at the same time grabbing Blair around the waist so that Blair was in his lap when he landed on the sofa. Blair struggled to get up but Jim held him securely.

"Blair stop struggling, your going to hurt yourself"

"Let go of me" Blair hissed fiercely.

"No" Jim choked out. Blair stopped struggling, startled and turned around at Jim's tone. Jim looked so sad Blair reached forward to touch Jim's face without realizing it.

"Why do you look so sad"

"Because you won't talk to me. You would rather hurt than let me help you"

Blair could not and would not say anything to that. He tried again to get up but Jim merely tightened his arms further.

"Come on Jim, let go"

Jim did not let go, on the contrary he began rocking back and forth with Blair in his arms. Blair's struggle against him grew weaker and weaker .

"Why can't you just let go of me..... damnit it Jim. Damnit! I could have lost you today" Blair said ceasing the struggle all together.

Jim sighed, finally they had gotten to the core of what troubled Blair. He let go of Blair no longer trapping Blair so that it was his choice whether to stay or go. Jim tensed for a moment when Blair stood up but Blair sat back in his lap this time facing him. Blair leaned forward to touch his forehead against Jim's as Jim's hand came to rest on Blair's hip the other hand moving in comforting circles along his back.

They sat in silence and Jim listened to his mate's heartbeat slow, no longer beating at the scared pace it had taken on at the crime scene.

"Jim you are doing it again" Blair moved over snuggling against Jim's side.

"What?"

"That tune you keep humming...are you finally going to sing it for me?"

"Chief, I can drum okay, but I don't think you want to hear my singing"

"Okay, just tell me the words then" Blair said. He snuggled in further against Jim's side as Jim began to recite the words to him.

I cross the sea, the sea of love
And when it's dark, I rise above
Move slowly through the quiet air
I hear your voice, it takes me there

Call my name aloud & I'll be there for you
There is no end to all the things that I would do

Stop your crying and dry up your endless tears
Don't you know you got the key, love sets you free
Worlds on fire, full of pain and endless fear
Don't you know open your eyes, love sets you free

I hold you tight, my mind is clear
True love in sight, hurt disappears
We are space, a lonely race
A speck of dust upoin thr face

You are magnificent and I am here for you
There is no end to all the things that I would do

"Isn't it beautiful Jim?" Blair said smiling up at him as Jim finished the chorus.

"Yes, beautiful" Jim said in a tone that caused Blair to laugh.

"I meant the song Jim"

"Oh yeah, that too" Jim said smiling before turning serious "but also true. I love you Blair, no matter what the world out there thinks. No matter what we are put through nothing will change that. It's like the song says Chief, there is no end to all the things that I would do" Jim said.

"Same here" Blair said holding one of Jim's hands in his.

"Remember this Blair, we are strong individually and together...we are even stronger"

The next day Simon sat in his office head in his hands. He had just said goodbye to the tenth officer that day who wanted to heave a heart to heart with him. They had all seen Blair caressing Jim's face at the crime scene and they all had an opinion on it. Detective Lee had been in to talk about the case, saying that he thought he saw Blair touch Jim's face but the adrenaline must have had his eyes playing tricks on him. He had said it so pointedly that Simon almost laughed out loud.

He looked at his watch 9:30 a.m and he already had a headache. Sometimes the responsibilites of being in charge were just too much for him. He heard a knock on and looked up, about to tell the person he was busy when he saw that it was Joel. He waved his hand telling Joel to come in.

"Hey Joel, what's up?"

"Just wondering where Blair had gotten to. I haven't seen him for a while" Joel said sitting on the chair in front of Simon's desk.

"Maybe he's catching up on schoolwork" Simon hedged, looking away from Joel.

"Well that's good. I was worried for a moment there. I had heard rumors that they were seperated because they were...involved, but knowing that Blair is not technically Jim's partner I knew that could not be the case. After all he's a consultant to the department it's not like he's actually a cop. Even though we do forget that sometimes." Joel said looking straight at Simon when he did so.

Simon stared at him for a moment. He cleared his throat before standing up to look outside of the window.

"Well I can't speak to whether or not Jim and Blair are involved but hypothetically speaking, what if they were? Could I really send them out in the field together?" Simon said his back turned.

Joel smiled a little to himself "Hypothetically speaking...why not? They have worked together for two years ably. Blair knows what he is doing Simon. I don't fully understand what is going on with Jim sometimes but Blair does. Heck he saved Jim's life yesterday warning him before the bullet hit him."

"What about other officers, some of them might not take to kindly to Jim and Blair together..if they were together that is" Simon finished quickly.

"I have a feeling the people with the most problems are the people that Jim wouldn't normally work with anyway. Who cares about them Simon. That's something that Jim and Blair would deal with. That they _can_ deal with. They are both strong people. If we back them, and I know there are many other officers who feel the same way I do, soon it will be known that no one can mess with them."

Simon turned and came to walk with Joel to the door as he stood to leave.

"Think on this Simon. Blair wasn't supposed to be at the crime scene yesterday, but he was. You have to realize that whether or not he officially tags along he will be there for Jim. Especially now that he saw Jim almost get killed. Wouldn't it be better to have him there officially so we can make sure he doesn't get hurt?" Joel said, driving his final point home as he walked through the door.

Simon froze at that and then reached out for Joel's arm.

"Joel...thanks. Hypothetically of course" He said.

Joel laughed at that saying "No problem Simon" as he walked away.

Simon reentered his office slowly and sat back down at his desk looking through the glass thoughtfully at Jim's empty desk.

Joel stopped and turned towards Simon's office when he heard the door closed. He could just imagine Simon sitting at his desk with his head in his hands. He did not envy the difficult position Simon was in. He knew that Simon was a fair man and must have felt awful about separating Jim and Blair. He also knew Simon was not unreasonable presented with enough facts he was sure Simon would do what was right.

Or what he thought was the right thing to do. Joel looked around the bullpen realizing that other officers might not share his opinions on whether or not Blair should continue to work with Jim. It was difficult for him to even see what the issue was. As far as he was concerned Blair was not an officer so the no dating rule should not apply. On a personal note he knew that Blair was a good guy, who had helped him out through a difficult period in his life and had proven his courage and tenacity time and time again. He had risked his life for Jim time and time again. What better partner could you have than one who was willing to back you up no matter what the circumstances and despite his own fears? Joel shook his head wondering what the world was coming to as he left the bullpen.

Simon adjusted the blinds in his office slightly and looked out at the bullpen for a moment. The officers sat at their desks a few of them had apparently been looking up and turned their faces down to act as if they had been working when they saw him look around the room.

So many of them had come to see him in defense of Jim and yet they were also wary of being to pro Jim and Blair in front of their fellow officers. If he let Blair back in the office how much could he count on Jim's fellow officers to at least stay out of Blair's way if not be supportive?

He turned back towards his desk and sat down the picture on the edge of his desk catching his eye, he looked at it thoughtfully before picking it up.

"Did Simon say why he wanted to see me Jim?" Blair aksed for the third time since they had left the loft.

"No" Jim said looking over at Blair for a moment, he could see Blair tucking a strand of her behind his ear nervously.

"Man, he probably just wants to yell at me for being at the shooting yesterday"

"I doubt it Chief"

"I hope not, because if he is he would be wasting his breath" Blair said.

"Chief..."

"Jim, there's no point starting that discussion again. I can't stand by knowing there is a possibility you will get hurt because of some bureaucratic nonsense. I love you and I want to make sure your okay, and I'm gonna do that whether the department approves or not" Blair said before becoming nervous again.

"Oh man are you sure Simon didn't say why he wanted to see me?" he asked again.

Jim shook his head and pulled the truck over turning to face Blair. He held Blair's face between his hands "Blair, I don't know why Simon wants to see you but I do know that despite what has happened Simon is a fair man, we've just gotta trust that things will work out"

Blair relaxed into Jim's touch. Jim was right of course, Simon was friend. He probably felt as bad about seperatint them as they felt at being seperated. He smiled up at Jim as Jim leaned forwards to kiss him.

Jim had meant for the kiss to be a kiss of reassurance but it soon intensified. He shuddered at the sounds coming from the back of Blair's throat in reaction to the kiss. His tongue worked against the part between Blair's lips demanding entrance. Blair's mouth opened to him and he began to thrust his tongue against Blair's.

Finally Blair pulled away. Jim tried to pull him back but Blair put a hand on his chest to stop him. "Whoaw Jim. I gotta stop, the last thing I want to do is walk into the bullpen with a raging hard on for all to see" Blair said moving back in the seat.

Jim smiled at him before starting the truck up to drive off again. "Thats what you get for wearing tight pants, you leave little to the imagine"

"Ah but they can only look, whereas you can touch" Blair said teasing Jim by sliding his hand over Jim's thigh.

Jim shuddered at the touch before smiling devilishly "I can touch you say?"

"Wha..." Blair said as Jim reached over cupping Blair's groin.

"Jim!" Blair squeeled beginning to recite lesson plans in his mind when he immediately began to harden.

By the time they had pulled into the precinct Blair had gotten back in control. They left the truck and walked over to wait for the elevator. They looked at the elevator before turning to face each other.

"Remember.." they both began.

Jim smiled at Blair "You first"

"I was just gonna say, remember that song we heard that day 'Rain'."

"Our first day as a couple at the station"

"It kinda feels like that now, like we're going to face the unknown"

"Yeah" Jim said reaching over to squeeze Blair's hand with a feeling of deja vue "That song is as true today as it was that day, especially that line..."

"A love that no one can deny" Blair finished. He stood on tiptoes and reached up to give Jim a kiss, not caring who saw them.

"Ughh! I think I'm going to be sick"

Blair and Jim jumped apart as a voice came from the opened elevator. They looked to see a uniformed officer looking at them disgustedly.

Jim was too surprised to say anything. Blair felt ashamed and a blush began to creep over his face. He was tongue tied as the shame turned to anger. Anger that this man could even make him feel ashamed at something as beautiful as his love for Jim. At the same time that his anger manifested he could feel Jim tense up next to him. He grabbed Jim's arm quickly as he felt Jim begin to move forward.

"That's right hold him back pretty boy, he has enough troubles he won't dare to hit me..." the officer said smirking at Jim and Blair.

"Maybe Ellison won't hit you but there is nothing stopping me" everyone turned in the direction of the new voice. The uniformed officer began to speak but was again interrupted "I suggest you get out and do your job officer before I have to file a report on myself for kicking the crap out of you."

The officer started to say something but then seemed to realize he was alone with the three giving him murderous looks and stalked off.

Blair let go of Jim's arm with a sigh of relief as all three got on the elevator.

"Thanks Brown" Jim said as he got on, turning towards Detective Brown.

"Sure no problem...it's good to see you again Sandburg" Brown said turning to Blair.

"Thanks, I'm just dropping by, I will probably just stay for a bit" Blair said.

"Long enough to wager on the Jags next game?" Brown said hopefully.

Blair laughed looking up at Jim as the elevator door closed thinking to himself *The more things change the more they stay the same*

The elevator door opened to reveal the bullpen and Brown got off first followed by Blair and Jim. He said his goodbyes and walked away. Blair was amazed at the elevator trip up here. It had felt like old times in the elevator, Brown teasing him about one thing or another. He had managed to forget why he we was there until the elevator opened up.

The bullpen had become deadly quiet when they got off the elevator. People looked up at them curiously. They walked straight to Simon's office feeling as if every gaze in the room was upon them.

Jim knocked on Simon's closed door and turned to Blair as he opened it at Simons' acknowledgment. Now he saw that the people in the room were staring at them openly. He looked around briefly but couldn't see any hostile glances.

"You ready Chief?"

"Yes, let's go in" Blair said taking a deep breath before following behind Jim.

They entered Simon's office, he was still sitting at the desk with the picture in his hand. He gestured for them to sit down. He took one last look at the picture before setting it back down on the desk.

He sat back in the chair and looked at Blair searchingly. Blair began to squirm under the scrutiny.

*Uh, oh. He's gonna let me have it. He's so pissed off he doesn't even know what to say* Blair thought in dismay. He was confused when Simon leaned back and pulled open his desk drawer looking around for something inside of it. His eyes widened when he saw what Simon was looking for.

Jim picked up the I.D that Simon slid across the desk and handed it to Blair who was suddenly unable to move, he put it in Blair's front pocket and squeezed Blair's shoulder slightly, smiling at him.

At Jim's touch Blair snapped out of it. "Wha..."

"I was just thinking about Daryl..." Simon said pointing to the picture on the desk "...about how I would want him to be treated if he were in similar circumstances. I never did rescind your observor status Blair...I somehow never got around to it. Probably my subconcious stopping me from making a big mistake" he smiled wryly.

"Sir, if your saying Blair can come back...Blair and I are going to go back to being full partners like before, no strings attached. What about the no dating rule?" Jim asked.

"Well as we know, the no dating rule doesn't exactly apply here since Blair is not an officer. I seperated you because of the other officers possible reactions. I shouldn't have worried though" Simon said shaking his head laughing slightly.

Blair and Jim looked at each other wanting to understand what Simon had said about not worrying about the officers but too afraid to ask.

"What if the Mayor finds out? You know he doesn't like Jim anyway" Blair said.

"I don't know. All I can say is that we will cross that bridge when we come to it. We just have to make it our mantra that you are not officially Jim's partner if anyone should ask. Agreed?" Simon said and waited for them to nod their head in response which they did.

"It's good to have you back Sandburg" Simon said gruffly as they stood to leave the office.

"It's good to be back Simon...I never thought I would miss police work" Blair said, laughing as he walked through the door.

Simon watched from the door as they walked over to Jim's desk. *Have I done the right thing?* He thought to himself he looked around the room at the other officers and then back at Blair, what was it about Blair that inspired the other officers to rise to his defense and he to hold onto Blair's I.D instead of rescinding his status like he was supposed to? He did not have the answers, he just knew that whatever it was Jim experienced it ten fold and he considered James Ellison a very lucky man. They were all lucky, Jim had improved his police record to be sure but most importantly he had become more human and Simon now knew it was all thanks to Blair. Who was he to seperate them? He would be doing a disservice to the department and to their friends to seperate those two who were so obviously meant to be together.

The room was quiet as Jim and Blair sat down. Blair was beginnig to feel as if he were on stage. Jim handed him a file and they both looked down to begin working trying to ignore the eyes they felt upon them.

"Welcome back Sandburg" someone shouted. Blair's head snapped up looking around trying to determine who it was, he couldn't see who had said it. What he did see were many people nodding their heads in his direction.

"Uh..thank you" he said back to the room in general, smiling.

His smile was returned and people went back to their work the volume in the room increasing with the conversations thar started up again.

Blair looked around the room amazed. Not one negative look could be seen. There was still that uniformed officer they had bumped into on the way here but he was unimportant. What was important was that Jim's immediate coworkers had in their own fashion accepted the situation. Blair had to struggle to hide the smile that threatened to break forth on his face.

He wanted to celebrate by grabbing Jim to him fiercely and kissing him until he begged for mercy but he couldn't. So he did the next best thing, he turned to Jim saying "I love you" and found Jim's hand under the desk and held it.

He looked up at Jim and their eyes locked. Jim smiled back at his guide who sat next to him. Beside him as it was meant to be.

Through the blinds Simon watched and smiled to himself. Had he done the right thing? The answer was there before him, as obvious as the love that existed between the Sentinel and his Guide.

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