Archive of Our Own

disclaimer:Characters Jim Ellison, Blair Sandburg and Simon Banks belong to Pet Fly Productions. The song "Sweet Dreams" belongs to the band Air Supply. No money exchanged hands for this story.

Missing

by Summer Rain

"Wake up pretty boy"

Jim woke up to the feeling of cold water being splashed on his face. He shook his head, feeling disoriented. He looked around the unfamiliar room. Where was he? Where was Blair? How had he gotten here? He tried to recall what had happened to him. All of a sudden the memories rushed back to him.

"I love you Blair"

"I love you too Jim" Blair responded automatically, distracted by the article he was reading.

"No...I _really_ love you"

Blair's head snapped up so that he could look at Jim's face.

"Wha?...but...are you" Blair stammered.

"Wow, I think this is the first time I have seen you without an answer for something" Jim said laughing. His amusement turned to concern when Blair turned away from him.

He reached out tentatively to Blair. He could see Blair's shoulders visibly shaking.

"Blair are you okay" he asked as he turned Blair around by the shoulders. It was only then that he saw that Blair was not shaking because he was crying but because he was...laughing?

"What is so funny?" Jim asked, confused.

Blair could only laugh harder at the look of confusion on Jim's face.

"Jim, do you know how long I have wanted to say that to you. I've been here forming a plan of attack. Developing strategies on dropping subtle hints...and you just come out and say it like nothing"

"Well, you know me Blair, I like to be direct about things" Jim said grinning for a moment before what Blair had said finally hit him.

"Wait a minute Chief, are you saying that you feel the same way about me?" Jim asked incredulously.

Could it be that Blair loved him too. It was more than he had even dared to hope for. Hadn't he known that Blair was as straight as they come? How many women had Blair dated in the last few months alone?

*More than I can remember* Jim thought to himself.

Actually when he thought about it Blair could probably say the same about him. He hadn't dated as much as Blair but he hadn't exactly been hiding out either.

*Yes but I did it because I was trying to shake these crazy feelings I was having for him* It stunned Jim to realize that his reason may have been Blair's reason as well.

He held his breath waiting for Blair's answer. Hoping against hope.

Blair looked up at Jim and could see the nervousness on Jim's face.

*Wow, he's nervous about what my answer will be. Doesn't he know that there is nothing about him I do not love. Heck, I even try to follow his ridiculous house rules. I wouldn't do that for just anyone*

"Yes I do love you Jim" he was rewarded by a dazzling smile that made the breath catch in his throat.

*Does he realize how beautiful he is?* they both thought as they smiled at each other.

Blair reached out to Jim and hugged him, he felt as if a weight had been lifted off of his back. He had been in love with Jim for so long. And he had been afraid for so long. He was afraid that if Jim found out he would reject him. He didn't think he could survive as a functioning human being without Jim. His life had become so intertwined with Jim's there was no way he could have gone back to his old life and still been a complete human being.

He had begun the latest rash of dating in a half hearted attempt to get one Detective James Ellison out of his system but it hadn't worked. The effect was probably the opposite. Dating all those women had actually shown him that the only person for him was Jim. No amount of denial could ever change that fact.

He had resolved that he would let Jim know his feelings. He knew that the detectives feelings for him had begun to change he just didn't know to what extent.

*Well I guess I found out today* he smiled happily to himself.

*Oh, this feels so right* Jim thought to himself with his arms around Blair.

*Why did I wait so long to tell him how I feel?*

He heard a child laugh in the distance and moved back remembering then that they were still sitting on the park bench. He looked down at Blair and marveled again that this beautiful person could be in love with him.

"Blair, I want to court you"

"What? Court me?" Blair smiled at the old fashioned term.

"Yeah. Blair, Carolyn and I moved so fast and it got totally screwed up. I want to take my time with this. You are the most important person in my life and I don't want to screw this up. I want this to be for keeps."

Blair could only nod his head. He couldn't speak past the lump that had formed in his throat. Jim had said he wanted this to be for keeps.

"Lets go home and celebrate" Jim said pulling Blair up with him. He laughed as Blair raced him to the truck.

The ride back was wonderful, the good feelings reverberated inside the truck. Jim turned the radio on looking for a station.

"Leave it on that one Jim, I love that song" Jim listened to the lyrics, it was a good song. It was a love song. Definitely appropriate for the moment.

They arrived at the loft just as the song was ending. Jim came around to Blair's side as he stepped out of the truck and pulled Blair to him.

"I love you Blair Sandburg" he said, before bringing his head down to kiss Blair. It was a soft first kiss, almost shy. Blair smiled up at him and then watched in horror as Jim straightened suddenly a look of shock on his face. Jim was spun around by the force of the dart hitting his neck.

Jim felt as if time had slowed. He felt himself falling and could see Blair screaming and reaching towards him. Arms grabbed him roughly before he hit the ground.

The last thing he remembered before blacking out was the sound of a gun shot and Blair's body hurtling towards the ground.

Jim groaned as he remembered all of it. He shuddered *Oh God is Blair?..please don't be dead Blair..please, please* his thoughts were interrupted by a cough from above him.

Blair moaned and tried to focus. Bright lights, sterile environment.

*Oh goody. My favorite place to be* He was in the hospital again, he looked over and saw Simon in the doorway looking agitated. The last of the cobwebs lifted from his mind and then he remembered. Jim! They had taken Jim away from him.

He bolted upright to ask Simon where Jim was when he felt the ache in his shoulder. He looked down in confusion. He remembered now that he had been shot, he tested his arm it was sore but he could move it. It would not be enough to keep him there. He needed to get out to help look for his love.

"Whoa, easy there Sandburg. Relax" Simon said walking forward to stand next to the bed.

"I can't relax Simon. Jim needs us, we have to find him."

"We will Blair, we will. But first I need to know what happened"

"I don't know Simon, he was facing me and he got shot with a dart I think. I reached forward to grab him but this van came screeching down and two guys came out and grabbed him. I tried to do something but...oh god. We have to find him Simon, he means everything to me" he finished looking pleadingly up at Simon.

*Yes, he does doesn't he?* Simon thought to himself as he looked down at Blair.

"Blair we already have people working on it. They have gone to the scene to see what they can find."

"Simon I can't just stay here, I have to find Jim" Blair said. His voice cracking.

Simon sighed. Ever since Blair and Jim had hooked up they had been getting into scrapes. Between the two of them he was beginning to think he lived in the hospital.

He looked at Blair again and made his decision. He put his arm around the young man to help him out of bed.

"Okay Blair, we've got to get your things together so we can get out of here" Simon said gruffly. This went completely against his better judgement, but he knew Blair. He knew there was no way Blair would stay in the hospital while Jim was in danger

Blair swayed slightly when Simon released him to stand on his own. Simon resisted the urge to tell Blair that he needed more rest.

He still remembered when he had first seen Blair after he had gotten shot. He was so pale. Apparently he had been on the floor of the garage in their building for some time before someone noticed him lying there. He had been bleeding that whole time.

Blair's mind raced as he and Simon left the hospital. The doctor had argued that he should stay the night but he had absolutely refused. Simon finally promised the doctor that he would bring Blair back at the first sign of trouble. It was an empty promise. He knew and Blair knew that Blair would not come back if Jim was still missing.

Jim looked up at the man who came to stand before him. He looked vaguely familiar.

"Ah, I see you remember me. Yes you do don't you? I was the lucky case that started off Detective Ellison's illustrious career"

Jim wanted to stand up and slam this madman but he was restrained. He struggled against the ropes that tied him.

"Don't bother my dear Detective Ellison, you can not escape those bonds"

*Damn these ropes. I've got to find a way to get away from this psycho*

Matt was enjoying seeing Ellison struggle. Oh, he had waited years for this. Always plotting ways to get back at Ellison. When Joe had come up with the escape plan to get out of prison it had all come together.

Joe had been busted by Ellison also and was just as eager to exact his revenge. They had been a little concerned at how they would get the drop on Ellison but shouldn't have been. He was being very well distracted by his friend in the car. He smiled, remembering the young man's reaction at seeing Ellison go down.

"Hey Ellison, cute kid you were with. Too bad we had to shoot him" Matt laughed out loud when Jim redoubled his efforts and began to scream obscenities at him.

Jim could hear footsteps just beyond the door behind where Matt was standing. He let out a gasp when the door opened, causing Matt to smile.

"Jim, say hello to my associate Joe. I believe you two have met"

*Shit, two of them, what else could go wrong?* Jim thought.

Joe was about 5' 4" a thin, quiet looking man. Jim remembered all too well how Joe had deceived the police with his benign appearance. From looking at Joe one would never imagine that 50 people had died as a result of Joe's love of fire.

He could take Joe down in a fight if he were not restrained but Matt was a different matter. Though Matt was a little smaller than Jim, Matt's self defense skills were honed due to his life on the streets as a drug dealer. Jim could only surmise that Matt had picked up a few other tricks as well while he was in prison.

"Detective Ellison, how nice of you to join us. We have a lot to discuss. You have much to atone for." Joe said bending down to be on eye level with Jim who was sitting on the floor.

"I don't have anything to atone for. I'm not the one who went around killing innocent people..." he was cut off by Matt kicking him in his stomach. He winced but other than that showed no reaction.

"Oh, the stoicism. Do you see that Joe?" Matt said turning to Joe for a moment. He turned back to face Jim. "Oh, we're going to have fun with you...but Joe wants first crack. Yeah, I know what you're probably thinking. That little dude, I can take him. But you know what happens after a couple of weeks without food, you're strength becomes the strength of a baby and then little ol' Joe will seem like the strongest man in the world to you." Matt and Joe looked at Jim and laughed.

Finally the great Detective Ellison was in their clutches.

Jim turned his face away from the two madmen in front of him. He heard a slight movement coming from behind the door and focused his hearing there. He could hear someone's heart beating very fast as if they were afraid. Just then someone looked in through the small window in the door.

She looked straight at him her eyes widening when she noticed that he returned her stare. She dropped back out of sight when Matt turned towards the door.

Joe gave one last maniacal laugh for good measure. "We will see you in a couple of weeks detective"

He and Matt left slapping each other on the back in congratulations for their capture.

"Damn it Simon, it's been days. Where the hell is he"

"I don't know Blair. You know we have done everything we can"

"Well obviously you haven't done enough" Blair shouted.

"Blair that's not..." Simon started.

"Forget I said that Simon. I know you've done everything you can. Officially and unofficially." Blair said giving Simon's shoulder a squeeze.

Blair finally looked at Simon, noting the bags under his eyes. Simon had been pulling triple shifts wanting to be there in case there were any developments in Jim's disappearance.

"Go home Simon, you look as bad as I feel" he said giving Simon a slight smile.

"Are you going to be okay alone?" Simon asked as he stood.

"Yeah, I gue..." Blair was cut off by the phone ringing.

"Hello"

"Is this Blair Sandburg?"

"Uh yeah" the person on the other end did not sound familiar to him. "Who's asking?"

"That's not important. I'm just calling to let you know that Jim is alive. He's okay" the voice said.

"What?! Wait please, how do you know this?" he screamed into the phone, but the person had already hung up.

Blair turned to Simon who stood frozen by the door.

"Jim's alive"

"Here Jim, I bought you an apple" she said offering it to him.

She liked detective Ellison. He didn't scream at her like Matt and Joe did. They were always yelling at her for being too slow, or saying that she talked funny. It wasn't her fault that she was slower than anyone else she was just born that way. That's what her mom had always said before she left. Now she was with Matt. He was her brother and That's the only reason he took her in because of a promise to their mother.

Matt and Joe had told her to stay away from the detective, that he was a horrible person but she couldn't understand why. He had been nice to her in the week he had been here. When he asked her to call his friend she did it for him. She was scared that Matt would find out, but so far he hadn't.

Jim accepted the apple from Sherry. If it hadn't been for her he would be in worse shape right now. She had been bringing him little bits of food ever since that first day he had been brought here. After Matt and Joe had left she came a few hours later.

She had stood at the door at first, staring at him as if he were a wild animal. He had to convince her that he wouldn't hurt her. Curiosity won out and she had come closer and closer to talk to him. Only when she got really close was when he smelled the food that she had bought with her and held behind her back. She gave him some of the food and when he thanked her quietly, they had become instant friends given the circumstances.

*Now, if I could only convince her to help me get out of here. We could both escape this prison*

Simon had stayed there for hours waiting with Blair by the phone. Finally he left when it became apparent the person would not call back.

Blair paced for hours around the loft. He kept glancing towards his room trying to make a decision.

He knew that Simon's hands were tied right now. Simon had done everything he could. They had run out of options as far as the police were concerned

Blair went out onto the balcony and looked out into the night sky, hoping to find answers there.

"Jim where are you?" he whispered. "Oh Jim, this sucks man, we just found each other, so to speak"

He looked back through the open door in the direction of his room.

"I am so sorry guys I know I promised but...I can't help it I love him. I need your help" he spoke as if someone could hear him.

He took a deep breath and reentered the loft, heading for his room to find the one element of his research that he had kept hidden, even from Jim.

Blair went to his room and pulled out the middle drawer in his dresser. He held his breath as he bent down to look at the back wall of the dresser. It was still there. He reached forward and pulled out the piece of paper he had taped there so long ago.

He held the paper in his hand, staring at the names there. He felt unsure again with his decision. But, he had to do it. Even if they were reluctant to help he would find a way to convince them. This was the last thing he could think of to help Jim, it had to work. He looked again at the paper and left the room.

"Hi....gotcha. You started talking didn't ya?. Well, anyway, you have reached Dave and Dave. Neither of us can come to the phone right now but live a message, we will try to get back to you."

"Uh, hi Dave this is Blair. Blair Sandburg. Sorry to bother you man but I really need your help" Blair stopped talking when he heard the phone being picked up on the other end.

"Hey, Blair I'm here. Whats wrong dude? You're heart is beating so fast it sounds like it's about to jump out of your chest"

Blair had practically sobbed in relief when Dave picked up.

"Dave I'm really sorry to have to call you like this but my friend is in trouble, the cops can't do anything. I need your help. I'm sorry"

"Blair stop saying your sorry. I owe you big time man. You saved my sanity when you showed me that I wasn't hearing things. I know you wouldn't call unless there was no choice. Whatever it is, I will help."

"Dave, it could be dangerous" Blair felt the need to warn him, they didn't really know what they were getting into.

"Really? hmm....lead on man. Where are we gonna meet?"

Blair waited anxiously at the airport. Finally he saw Dave. He looked exactly the same as when Blair had seen him three years ago. Tall guy, ripped up jeans and the ever present skate board strapped to his back. Blair smiled to himself, some things remained constant.

He was glad Dave was finally here, he wanted to get things rolling. He didn't know what was going on with Jim. He had waited until the last possible moment in the loft before leaving to pick Dave up, in hopes that the person would call back with more news about Jim.

He greeted Dave and together they made their way from the terminal towards Jim's truck. Dave threw his backpack into the truck and settled in as Blair pulled the truck out of the parking lot.

He looked over at the tense, worried look on Blair's face. Blair never wanted to ask anyone for help, the mere fact that he had asked for Dave's help was indication of how serious this was.

"You don't call someone from the east coast for help unless the situation is bad."

Dave was so deep into his thoughts that he didn't notice they had stopped the truck until Blair opened the door to get out. He listened as Blair's heartbeat which had slowed on the ride over, began to pick up. He watched from the truck as Blair went up the stairs to ring on the doorbell.

Blair jumped when the door opened as he was reaching forward to ring the bell.

"Blair what are you doing here?"

"What? can't I just make a social call?" Blair said.

"Let's see, you're sweating more than is called for if you were just making a social call and I can practically smell the tension rolling off of you"

"I need you're help" He looked cautiously at Tasha but she had a stony look on her face. He remembered now that she could be harder to read than Jim sometimes. "A friend of mine was kidnapped..."

She was about to tell him to go to the police but thought better of it. If Blair was coming to ask for help it meant he had exhausted all other options. She looked beyond him towards Dave who was sitting in the truck. She turned away and whispered an invitation for him to get out of the truck smiling when she turned back to see that he had done so.

"An enhanced sense of hearing?" she asked Blair who nodded in response. She looked at Blair suspiciously. "This other friend of yours how many hyperactive senses does he have, one or two?" she asked.

"Well uh actually..." she watched as Blair grew flustered in response to her question when it suddenly dawned on her.

"He's a full fledged Sentinel" she whispered.

Blair nodded and watched with a sinking heart as she turned away slamming the door as she went back inside her home.

He turned away in disappointment but was stopped by Dave's hand on his arm. He looked up to see Dave smiling, looking at the door expectantly.

Tasha closed the door behind her and made her way down the steps. She turned around to where Blair was still standing on the porch.

"Come on Blair shake a leg"

Sherry looked over at Jim. It had been two days since she had called his friend. Jim looked more and more sad. She hadn't even been able to bring him as much food because her brother was getting suspicious at all of the food she was apparently eating. She brought paper with her when she came to see Jim this time. Maybe he could use it to write his thoughts down. She couldn't untie his hands though but she had offered to write down whatever he had to say.

Jim looked over at Sherry.

*Poor kid, just her luck to wind up with a brother like Matt...I hope she can get that letter over to Blair. I want him to have it in case anything...* his thoughts were cut off by the sound of the door crashing open.

Sherry jumped up but was able to stuff the letter in her front pocket before turning around.

"Matt..."

"Shut up...take a walk before I beat the shit out of you" he spat out watching as she scurried out of the room. He turned back towards Jim.

"You see, she's my sister Detective Ellison and I can't hurt her...but that does not hold true for you" he said as he advanced on Jim.

Jim tried as best he could to shield himself from Matt's blows but it was useless. The last thing he remembered before blacking out was the sound of a door closing. He could only hope it was Sherry going to give his goodbye letter to Blair.

Sherry looked again at the address that Jim had told her. She had to stop to ask a few people for directions. She was afraid for Jim. Matt looked so mad when he caught her talking to Jim. She had heard him hitting Jim, she was able to call Jim's friend to say that Jim was in trouble. But he hadn't picked up so she told the machine.

She didn't know what to do, how to help Jim. So she did the only thing she could do, she tried to deliver Jim's letter for him because it had seemed so important to him.

Blair woke up to the smell of coffee. He was disoriented for a bit before he remembered that Dave and Tasha were staying at the loft. He came down from Jim's room where he had been sleeping for the past few days. He had left his room for Tasha to use and Dave crashed out on the couch. He didn't mind being in Jim's room. It was comforting to him to be in Jim's room. He could feel Jim's strength in the room and he drew on that strength to keep himself going.

He looked to see Dave with his jacket still on, taking out bagels and muffins and setting them on the table. Tasha came out of the room, smiling at Blair who looked like he was still half asleep.

She walked over to look out of the balcony doors. "The view here is awesome Blair" she said turning around.

"Thanks" Blair started to walk over to stand next to her when he saw that the red light on the answering machine was blinking. He veered towards it to play back the message.

He straightened when he heard her voice.

"Hi Mr. Blair, your friend is in trouble I-I don't know what to do" the message cut off there causing Blair to groan inn frustration. He looked over at Dave frightened by the look on his face.

"What? what is it?"

"Somebody is being beat in the background..I could hear it" Dave shuddered, from the way the beating sounded he could only imagine the pain the person was in.

Blair sank to his knees as his imagination ran wild. Who knows how badly Jim was hurt. He shuddered, "Oh god Jim, hold on please baby... hold on"

Tasha and Dave exchanged glances it had suddenly occurred to them that this was a different kind of love than friendship they were dealing with here.

"Your in love with him?" Dave asked quietly

"Yes"

Tasha and Dave moved forward as if in accord, to kneel down next to Blair and place a hand on his back.

"Blair" Tasha said "we will find him" she looked over at Dave who nodded in agreement.

Blair looked at the two of them and smiled a tremulous smile. He reached for both of their hands and held on.

He tried to bring himself back into focus and turned towards Dave.

"Dave, I'm going to play the tape back. I need you to listen for any distinctive sounds. Anything that could help us locate Jim" he waited until Dave got comfortable and then rewound the tape.

Matt looked down at Jim's still form. It hadn't taken much for the detective to black out in his weakened condition. Still, he should have been even weaker. He had suspected that Sherry had befriended Detective Ellison but had only then been able to catch her at it. Thinking of Sherry reminded him that he needed to go see what she was up to.

Sherry looked up at the building uncertainly, she was afraid to go any further. What if Matt found out about the letter or what if someone caught her dropping the letter off. So she stood there, nervously fidgeting uncertain what to do next.

"Replay that" Dave sat back and relaxed on the sofa "yeah, there is a lot of traffic, like a highway or something but at the same time I hear water running like a river maybe?"

"A highway next to a river?" Blair looked questioningly over at Tasha.

Tasha racked her brain. "The Smith highway"

"Yes...hmm but where on the Smith highway?" Blair said in frustration. "Okay, let me get dressed. We will cruise around over there, maybe we will get lucky and pick something up"

He got dressed and they went down together, he looked over and saw a letter sticking out of his and Jim's mailbox.

*Probably just some advertisement* he thought to himself as they walked to the door.

Blair walked through the open door, bumping into the young woman who was standing in front of it. He reached out to steady her, murmuring a quick apology.

She started when he touched her and bolted down the street.

"Whoa, what's wrong with her? Her heart is pounding" Dave said, looking in confusion at the running woman.

"Well, she _is_ running Dave" Tasha said, smiling up at him.

"Yeah I know, but even before that, it was like she was real nervous about something"

Blair was still staring after the young woman as he listened to the conversation. His eyes narrowed and he looked back inside the building.

He went back in to got the letter that had been sticking out of the mailbox, with Tasha following behind him.

"What is it Blair?" she asked as he opened the letter.

"Oh my god, it's from Jim" he said, he looked up to see Tasha's forehead wrinkled in concentration. "What is it?"

"The letter, it smells like...that woman" she said. She ran back out with Blair on her heels.

They looked around desperately.

"I can't see her" Blair said frantically "Talk to me Tasha. Where is she?"

"I can't..."

"Yes you can. Focus"

"Just like old times, huh Blair?" she said, smiling slightly as she tried to focus her vision.

"I got her, she's....damn. She turned down a side street, I lost her. I'm sorry Blair"

"Well, we already know the general direction she's heading in anyway. The Smith highway _is_ that way, so it looks like we might be on the right track about that" Blair said.

Blair ran his hands over his hair, trying to think.

"Okay, we have to find a way to narrow this down"

"Does the letter say anything about where he might be?" Dave asked.

Blair quickly looked over the letter.

"No, he didn't say anything about where he is...it's not even in his own handwriting" his voice cracked when he said this. He couldn't help wondering about Jim's condition. Was he too hurt to write the letter himself? The letter had almost seemed like a goodbye. Was Jim already gone? Blair shuddered thinking of the possibilities.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. He looked up to see Tasha smiling at him. He put his hand over her's and smiled back, taking a deep breath.

"Okay, here is what we have so far. Going by what Dave heard we are assuming that Jim is located near the Smith highway. We now have this letter. We know that the woman dropped it off because Tasha picked up the same scent from the letter as from the girl" he stopped when he felt Dave's hand on his arm.

"Wait a minute Blair, the question is _why_ was Tasha able to pick up the scent so quickly?" Dave turned towards Tasha "Was there something distinctive about the scent that caught your attention?"

"Yes" she said as she thought about it.

She took the letter that Blair held out to her. She put the letter to her nose and sniffed trying to determine what it was about the scent that seemed so familiar.

"It smells like, like...burning rubber?" she said questioningly.

"Burnt rubber? Let's just head down there and ask around, maybe someone will help us out" Dave said.

Blair shook his head "No we don't have to. The burnt rubber, that is from the Smith tire factory" he looked at his two confused companions.

"Don't you remember? There was that big tire fire two months ago. It took them two weeks to put it out" he said to Tasha.

"Yes of course" she said "Lets go!" they raced towards the truck and Blair tossed her the keys.

"You drive, you know exactly what path that woman took. Maybe if we follow her path as much as possible, it will give us a better feel for exactly where we need to go"

"Where were you?" Matt asked quietly.

"You told me to go for a walk" Sherry said, fear curling up inside of her. Hopefully Matt would believe her.

He looked at her for a moment before coming forward to grab her arms.

"Let's get something straight Sherry. Detective Ellison is off limits. No more bringing him food and no more talking to him. Understand?"

She stared at him mutely.

"Do you understand?" he shouted

"Y-yes I'm sorry Matt. I'm sorry" she said.

He let go of her disgustedly and walked away.

Blair watched for a moment as Tasha followed the path the woman had taken.

He turned his attention back to the letter in his hand.

Blair,

This letter is being written by Sherry. She is a good person Blair. Remember that. If anything happens to me, don't blame her. She has kept me alive this long. Blair, tell Simon to check out my first two solved cases, that should tell him what he needs to know.

Enough about them though Blair. I just want to say in case I don't get the chance later, how much I love you. I always have, I just never knew it. It is only thinking of you that has given me so much comfort these past few days.

Chief, remember the song we were listening to in the truck the day this all started? It seems ironic now doesn't it?

Blair it's the strangest thing, I feel we are going to be together again. Is this wishful thinking? I don't know, but no matter what happens, remember this. I love you always.

Jim

Blair could not fight back the tears anymore. He thought back to the song Jim had mentioned in the letter. Jim was right, it was so ironic. He remembered the lyrics, reflecting on how he had felt the past week and a half without Jim.

This is the time when you need a friend
You just need someone near
I'm not looking forward to the night I'll spend
thinking of you, and you're not here

How many times will I think about the things I'd like to
always denied the right to live my life the way I want
I want to share it with you

Blair sat back as the lyrics played in his mind

I think of you're kiss as the days roll by
and I write the words you love
and what I can't say in a letter
will just have to wait 'till I get home

there is not much time
to tell you half the things that I should
only that I'm so glad I fell in love with you
and I would do it again if I could

*And what I can't say in a letter will just have to wait 'till I get home* he repeated to himself *Oh Jim, I hope that part of the song holds true for us as well. I can't wait until you get home*

He looked at the letter again and decided to call Simon to tell him what Jim had said about checking out his two first cases.

"Banks here"

"Simon, it's me Blair. Listen, that mysterious voice on the phone the other day?...Well she left me a letter from Jim"

"Are you sure it's from Jim, Blair?"

"I think so. It mentions you by name and it refers to something that only Jim and I know about"

"Hmmm, well what does he say?" Simon asked

"He said that you should find out about his first two cases, that it would tell you everything you need to know"

"Okay, anything else we can use?"

"No" Blair answered.

"Blair, you should bring the letter to the department"

"Can't right now Captain, I'm on my way to see Jim"

"Wha..." Simon said staring at the phone. He could hear static which probably meant Blair was driving under a tunnel. He would just have to wait until Blair called back. In the meantime he had to find out who were Jim's first two solved cases. It could be just what they needed to understand this whole mess.

"What do you mean it's been a month"

"Sir, if you would just let me explain...."

"Explain? How do you explain not informing us that these two criminals escaped from prison a month ago. A whole month!"

"Sir, I can understand that your upset.." the person was cut off by the phone being slammed down.

Simon paced around his office. How had this happened? Matt and Joe had been out for a whole month without anyone informing them. They could have been looking to apprehend them, they could have been taking precautions. He was tempted to think that it was all coincidence but he knew that it simply wasn't the case.

He had talked to the prison psychologist. She seemed to think it was very plausible that both Joe and Matt would try to come after Jim. They seemed to have fixated on Jim, blaming him for their being imprisoned.

*And all I can do is uselessly pace around my office*

Simon was frustrated. He didn't even know where else he should be looking. He already sent a team down to where Matt used to live but he hadn't been seen around for years. As for Joe, the building he had lived in had been demolished long ago so there was no chance he would be there. Simon growled in frustration.

*And where the hell is Blair? "I'm going to see Jim", what did he mean when he said that....damn it Blair, these two people are crazy. I hope you know what you are doing* Simon stopped his pacing to stand in front of the window in his office and looked out over the city.

"Blair, wherever you are, good luck! You're the only one who seems to have a clue. Your Jim's only hope"

Tasha and Dave exchanged glances through the rearview mirror, they were both concerned about Blair, the tear tracks were still evident on his face.

Tasha broke the silence first. She had to ask Blair something that had been bothering her ever since the revelation that Blair was in love with Jim.

"Blair are you...are you Jim's Guide?"

He looked over at her shaken out of his reverie. He never could hide anything from Tasha. Where as she was so good at hiding things from him. He remembered when they first met, he came to the school library with his list of books he needed for his research. He had been so shocked when she began discussing the books with him.

He had always wondered why an academic librarian would take such a deep interest in Sentinel research and show such expertise on the subject. It was only quite by accident that he discovered the real reason was that she was trying to understand her own experiences with her heightened senses.

They had been walking on campus, he had met her as she left from work. He was excited, he was going to tell her that he had heard of someone who might possess all 5 hyperactive senses. A true Sentinel. He never got the chance to though, as they were walking away she suddenly stopped in her tracks staring at the sky.

She had zoned out on a bird in the sky that had taken minutes to come into Blair's line of vision. Blair was shocked to realize that Tasha could have seen the distant bird. That was when he realized that she was suffering from the zone out factor that he had been reading about. That had been his first experience at bringing someone out of a zone out. He had never experienced it before, Dave had never zoned out probably because he had only one hyperactive sense.

She had at first tried to deny it. She proclaimed vehemently that she had no hyperactive senses. She eventually broke down and told Blair the truth, but as time went on she became more and more distanced. And Blair began spending more and more time with Jim. She eventually told him that she was leaving the University. They had kept in touch only sporadically since then and only when he initiated contact. He had always wondered what had happened to them, to their friendship. It was still there though. Despite the passage of time it was still there, it was she who had changed. Even more so since finding out about his love for Jim.

"Blair are you going to answer my question? Are you Jim's guide?"

"Yes I am does that bother you?" Blair said looking at her.

"No"

"Yes it does" he said, he was suddenly so certain of that.

Tasha shifted in the seat. "Your right it does bother me Blair, Jim is so lucky. He has someone to help him with this...this thing!"

"I would have helped you, you know. Why did you shut me out?" he asked quietly.

"Blair, please understand. I had to do it. Look, if I hadn't you would never have gotten to this point with Jim."

"What kind of convoluted logic is that? It doesn't make any sense" he said angry for a moment that she would ask him to understand something that had torn at him. Only the realization of his deepening connection to Jim had kept him grounded during that time.

"It makes perfect sense Blair" she nearly shouted before softening her tone "More sense than you know"

Blair was cut off from answering her cryptic statement when he realized they were at the Smith highway and were nearing the location of the tire factory.

They sat in the truck and looked around, wondering what to do next.

"It has to be somewhere along this stretch Blair, these are the only buildings close enough to the factory that the smell would have pervaded the woman's clothes like that." Tasha said wrinkling her nose. The smell was indeed strong here she had been assaulted by the strong rubber smell as she stepped out of the truck.

She peered both ways from where they were standing when she spotted the familiar sight. There, about five blocks away appeared to be the woman they had been seeking entering one of the houses.

"Blair, call for help. I think we may have found Jim"

"We've got to get the exact address first. Let's go check it out" Blair said starting to get back into the truck.

Dave put on a hand on his arm to stop him. "No way dude, they would surely recognize you"

Blair sighed. Dave was right. "Tasha?"

"Blair, I should go. Tasha can't check it out. She's gonna look suspicious if she stands there staring at the house."

Blair watched as Dave took out the ever present skate board he had left in the truck. They watched Dave as he skated off, hoping that he could confirm that their search was at last over.

Dave skated down the street, slowing down as he approached the street where Tasha had seen Sherry. He heard Tasha tell him to stop, that he was approaching the correct house.

He did lazy turns on the sidewalk directly in front of the house, pretending he was a regular skate board enthusiast.

He focused his hearing. At first he heard nothing, but then he heard it. There were four heartbeats. One of them was fast, nervous sounding *Probably the girl, Sherry* one of them was steady and slow, a little _too_ slow, he could only suppose that it was Jim's heartbeat. Not surprising considering the beating he had heard, there might have been other beatings as well. Those two heartbeats were in close proximity of each other. They were coming from the back of the house.

The other two heartbeats came from the front of the house. He listened in and could hear talking.

"Shut up Joe"

"No listen to me Matt, this is getting complicated. You're sister has become like best buddies with this guy. How do we know she won't let him free or something?"

"I told her not to" Matt said quietly

"Whatever Matt, listen to me I have a bad feeling about this. Let's just get rid of him now" Joe said nervously.

"Okay. Okay Joe we will waste him. Would that make you happy? But you're in charge of the getaway."

"Sure thing Matt, don't worry I'll make all the arrangements and then we can get the hell out of here....Oh wasting Ellison is gonna be fun, I have a few things I wanna teach him about playing with matches" Joe said with a maniacal smile.

Dave skated back as fast as he could to Blair and Tasha to relay what he had heard. Tasha didn't wait for him to reach them though. The expression on his face was enough for her.

"Blair, I think you need to call for help. Now!"

Blair didn't wait for an explanation. Dave's furious skate back and the fear in Tasha's voice were enough for him. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed, only breaking his concentration when Dave reached them and told him the address of the house.

Simon continued to pace around his office. It was so quiet. Even in the squad room where there would normally be chatter, there was silence. Concerned glances were alternated between Jim's desk and the closed door of the Captain's office.

Simon was so deep in his thoughts that he jumped, startled when the phone rang. He picked it up on the second ring.

"Banks here"

"Captain, it's Blair. I know where Jim is"

"What? Where?" Simon said. He quickly wrote down the address that Blair gave him. "Blair, under no circumstances are you to approach the house"

"But Simon..."

"No Blair, I'm serious. These two men who have Jim are dangerous. They are fugitives from the law and that makes them desperate. Besides, if something were to happen to you, I would be the one to have to answer to Jim when we get him out."

Blair hung up, frustrated but somehow taking comfort in Simon's assumption that they would get Jim out.

"Jim, Jim wake up please"

Jim felt himself being shaken and a woman's voice saying his name. It took him a moment to realize that it was Sherry shaking his shoulder. He winced as he tried to sit up. He didn't think he had any broken bones but as for any internal bleeding....that was probably a different matter altogether. He looked in confusion at the knife in Sherry's hand, tensing slightly as she moved forward.

She squatted down to the side of him and began to cut the rope that bound his arms and legs.

"Sherry?" Jim was almost afraid to speak. "What's going on?"

"I heard them talking Jim, they said they were going to kill you" Sherry choked out. She had been afraid to come down here, but she had to. She had to let Jim go. Her brother was planning to hurt Jim even more than he was hurt.

Jim groaned as his arms were set free. His arms and legs had fallen asleep long ago. He couldn't move and fell over without the support of the pole he had been tied to.

"Jim what should I do?" Sherry asked straining to get Jim to sit up.

"Please Sherry, rub my arms and legs. I need to get the circulation back into them." he nearly groaned out loud at the grating sensation of the feeling being returned to his limbs.

He felt as if there were a million pins sticking into his body as the circulation returned. With the return of feeling came the realization of pain. He felt as if every pain sensor in his body had gone into hyperdrive. The next fifteen minutes were the most excruciating minutes of his life. The only thing that stopped him from crying out was the thought that would it frighten Sherry into stopping. Despite the pain he knew it was necessary to get the feeling back if he was to survive.

Blair stood barely holding himself still in front of the truck which was parked two blocks away from where Jim was.

It was so maddening, they were so close to Jim that Blair could practically feel him. Yet he had to stay here. Simon was right though, he couldn't risk anything. He knew from working with Jim that a desperate criminal was dangerous. If they perceived a threat they could hurt Jim.

*Even worse than he is hurt now* Blair thought, looking over at Dave remembering his reaction to the beating he had overheard before.

All he could do was wait, he had done all he could and all he could do now was trust in Simon to get Jim back to him safely as soon as possible. He breathed an audible sigh of relief when Dave spoke.

"I hear a bunch of cars heading this way, they are coming Blair"

It only took a minute for him to see the three cars converge on the house. He thought he recognized Simon's car as being among them. He ran down there with Tasha and Dave running beside him.

Matt was in the front room checking his gun when the door was kicked open. He raised it in surprise but didn't even get off a shot before he was struck. He fell backward gun still in his hand and the surprised look still on his face.

Simon turned to one of the two officers in the door.

"Call for an ambulance" he said. He barely gave Matt a second glance he was totally focused on finding Jim.

He heard one of the fellow officers gasp, and looked up to see Joe standing with a match in his hand and a maniacal grin on his face. Simon's eyes widened and he looked back down, it was then that he noticed the liquid that was spread all over the floor.

Time slowed, he saw Joe light the match and had just enough time to scream at the officers to get back, before Joe dropped the match.

Blair watched in horror from the across the street as he saw Simon and the other officers running, the flames from the house chasing after them.

His mouth opened in a silent scream at the thought that after all of this, he still had lost Jim forever.

Blair would have fallen if not for Tasha and Dave holding him up. He felt a wetness on his arms and looked up to see Dave and Tasha crying with him.

The fire was winding down and the ambulances were taking away the injured. Blair, Tasha and Dave stood huddled by the truck, oblivious to the panic that had broken out around them. People were shouting, neighbors were standing outside of their homes. One of the officers was down and Simon was bent over him.

Simon looked up to see Blair huddled with two people he had never seen before. They were both turned sideways facing Blair and he could not see their faces. But he could see Blair's face clearly. The look of agony on his face was indescribable, it was obvious to Simon that if it weren't for the people supporting him, Blair would have collapsed long ago.

"Blair"

Dave's head snapped up, trying to see who was calling to Blair. No one around them was even looking in their direction. Blair looked up at Dave, seeing the intent look on his face.

"What..." he stopped when Dave waved his hand to silence him.

He was beginning to think he had imagined it when he heard another voice asking Jim if he was okay. She sounded very breathy and began to choke. It was the voice of the woman they had followed.

"Oh shit, he's alive...Blair he's alive"

Blair didn't question he just took off at a dead run across the street.

Simon had continued to watch them from across the street, he saw the man talking excitedly and Blair suddenly straighten up. He was already standing when Blair and his two companions ran by him.

He ran behind them.

"Blair where is he?" he didn't question how Blair knew that Jim was alive or the fact that he knew within him that Blair had run over for this reason.

"He's behind the house" Dave said. Once again Simon did not question this. He would hold on to any hope he could that Jim was alive. If Blair was willing to trust what this man said, then so could he.

They circled around to the back of the house calling out to Jim.

"Jim, please help us out here...where are you? Please Jim" Blair shouted pleadingly.

"Dave?"

"Over there" they looked where Dave had pointed. Blair ran forward to see Jim on the ground, the young woman laid out beside him a hand on his arm, both of them gasping for air.

"Blair" Jim whispered. He must be hallucinating. If he could only touch Blair, to make sure this was real or whether it was just the wish of a dying man. The vision approached, Blair knelt next to him and Jim could feel a tear from Blair hit his face. He had just enough time to marvel at the realness of this vision before the darkness claimed him.

They followed behind the ambulance in silence. Tasha was driving again since Blair was distracted with thoughts of Jim. They were relieved but the tension would not leave them until they could know for sure that Jim was out of the woods.

It was a nerve wracking time for Blair as he waited in the hospital waiting room, only the support of Tasha and Dave kept him from losing it. He was scared but he knew if anything took a turn for the worse Dave would hear and let him know.

Simon arrived when he could after making sure all the other injured had been attended to. He looked and saw Blair's friends walking with back turned to him, down the corridor.

He sat down next to Blair, who was sitting alone in the waiting area.

"Hey Simon" Blair smiled at Simon. Simon was relieved to see an actual smile on Blair's face. He was also relieved because he knew if Blair was smiling then it meant Jim was going to be okay.

"How is he doing Blair?"

"There was some internal bleeding, one broken rib but nothing else was broken. He's a little malnourished and dehydrated but all in all not bad. The doctor said he should be able to get out in about a week. The nurses kicked me out of the room while they did a little check up"

"Have you been able to talk to him about what happened?" Simon asked gently.

Blair shuddered. He had seen the bruises all around Jim's midsection and some on his face. The rope marks from where he had been tied for the past week and a half were plainly visible.

"Oh Simon, he's been in and out. I think he is only vaguely aware of my presence. This all probably seems like a dream to him right now. I didn't want mar the dream by trying to ask about what he went through"

"I know Blair but sooner or later we have to hear Jim's side of what happened. We already know a little bit from the girl, Sherry. It seems she was helping Jim escape when the fire hit. Lucky for Jim she was able to drag him those last few feet out of the door. She's quite special. Funny how two people in the same family can be so different." Simon said shaking his head as he got up to go look in on Jim.

Blair thought back to the letter Sherry had delivered. What had Jim said? "..she kept me alive this long", and she had done it again. Blair smiled to himself.

*Jim had his own guardian angel, as did I* he thought realizing that it was exactly what Tasha and Dave had been to him during this ordeal.

Thinking of them made him look up to see where they were. He saw them walking back down the corridor. They both smiled but there was a sadness in their smile. With a sinking feeling he stood up to greet them, his own return smile holding sadness of its own.

"You're leaving" Blair said. It was a statement, not a question.

"Yes Blair" Dave said putting his hand on Blair's shoulder. "We can't have all of these people knowing about us Blair."

"What about Jim?"

"Blair, Jim is a police officer. If he were to find out about our part in this he would have to report exactly what happened. And even if he decided not to, we wouldn't want to place him in that position. It's enough that he's hiding his own uniqueness without bringing us into the mix. It's better this way Blair..." Dave's voice cracked and he was unable to continue.

"Tasha?"

"I've got to go too Blair, you are someone's Guide already and that is a full time job" she took a deep breath "Blair, I left something for you back at the loft...read it. I think you will understand then about why I did what I did when I pushed you away"

Blair could only nod, words were impossible with the lump that had formed in his throat.

Tasha and Dave moved forward in unison to hug Blair fiercely to them.

Blair was only able to manage a whispered thank you.

"Blair this isn't really goodbye, anytime you need us, _anytime_ we will be here" Dave said. They shared one last hug before Dave and Tasha left the hospital.

Blair looked after them as they left the hospital. He was sad to see them go, but he was also ready to embark on a new future with Jim. A future that they, through their help had allowed him.

He entered Jim's hospital room, saying goodbye to Simon as he left. Jim had his eyes closed. Blair looked at that beautiful face and shuddered at the thought that he had nearly lost Jim.

He leaned forward to softly kiss Jim's lips. When he pulled back he saw that Jim was smiling at him.

"I love you Jim"

"Forever" Jim whispered before his eyes fluttered closed again.

*Forever* Blair repeated to himself *Yes, that is how it is meant to be. Sentinel and Guide forever*

Epilogue:

Blair opened the door and helped Jim inside, he steered Jim over to the couch so that Jim could rest. Just taking the trip from the hospital back to the loft had seemed to exhaust Jim.

Blair went to get a blanket from his room. He smiled as it suddenly hit him that he hadn't slept in his room in a couple of weeks. When he wasn't in the hospital with Jim, he was in Jim's room, his way of being near Jim.

He looked and saw a package on the dresser. He opened it as he went into the living room. Jim was already asleep so he covered him with the blanket as gently as possible and sat down in the chair to see what the package was.

It was a few very old looking papers, perhaps a chapter ripped out of a book. Blair had to stifle a gasp as he read the title page which said "Relations between Sentinel and Guide". He shook out the package and a letter came out. It was from Tasha.

*This must be what she told me about in the hospital* he thought to himself, he unfolded the letter to read what it said.

 

Hi Blair,

I thought I would pass these papers along. I discovered them around the time you found Jim. Actually I was going to tell you about it the day I zoned out. Weird huh? Well anyway, when you told me later that you had found someone with five senses I knew I had a decision to make. You see Blair, I knew that you were falling in love with me. I knew because the same thing was happening to me. I also knew you while you didn't, that you were destined to be a Guide. When you found Jim, I knew that I had to step aside. He was your Sentinel Blair, it was so clear to me. I know you are wondering why I kept this a secret. In the papers you will see mention of the love that develops between Sentinel and Guide. I knew if you found this out, you would try to stop it if I was still in the picture. I couldn't do it Blair. I could not let you deny your destiny. I hope you understand now that what I did, I did out of love. Believe me it was the hardest thing I have ever done. Take care of your Sentinel Blair. Remember we are all connected now and I will be here if you should ever need me.

Love,

Tasha

Blair smiled to himself. Tasha had known his feelings all along and had even shared his feelings. He marveled again at her selflessness. He put the letter down when he saw Jim shift on the couch.

"Hey Jim" he said kissing him softly.

"Mmmm" That's good Jim said, smiling up at Blair. The he frowned.

"I had the weirdest dream in the hospital Blair. A man and a woman were there, I couldn't see their faces though. They called me their brother. The woman said we were all connected. And then she told me to take care of you "or else"" Jim finished off laughingly.

Blair could only smile at that and look over at the letter he had left on the chair.

"I smell them in here Blair, who were they?" Jim asked looking at Blair's face searchingly.

"They were...two very special people. They saved you're life Jim. That's all I can say, I'm sorry" Blair said smiling down at Jim.

Jim looked at Blair for a moment longer before returning the smile. He pulled Blair into a hug.

"She doesn't have to worry you know, I plan to take good care of you. Always"

They shared as deep a kiss as Jim's exhaustion would allow and then held each other. Grateful to be together again, knowing that they could survive anything. Together.

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