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Leon never really knew it would end up like this. From the start, all he wanted to do was to protect people, innocent people. He went through the pain of academy to become a police officer, so he could make at least himself proud if not his parents that were long gone, because the fate they were met with was something he didn’t wanted anyone to go through. That was his daily motivation. But it all quickened faded into the back of head when he stepped his foot into Raccoon City. That night was a living nightmare that he re-lived over and over again whenever he dared to close his eyes and be so bold to sleep, he could never erase the memories from his mind but he learned to live with them even though he was here and there awoken from his night terrors by calloused but gentle hands of his gentle giant that was the only person that could put up with him.
Sometimes he wondered, why did he even stayed around this long? Why haven’t he ended it when he woke up from his very first nightmare that pictured the horrors he had seen back in the Raccoon City that was overrun by infected people, innocent but infected people. But then it hit him again. He put up with all this for her, for the innocent soul that couldn’t protect itself back then. For those huge, blue, doe eyes that were shimmering with unshed tears. Sherry. The poor thing had seen the same horrors like he did, but when he thought about it a little longer, a child’s mind gets scarred deeper with such traumatic events more than adult’s mind like he was. Sure he was disturbed by the things that he had seen and experienced that night but he could push the trauma down, suppress it, bottle it up. But what about her? She was terrified to death, having no survival instinct while knowing her parents rather sacrificed their life for their horrendous job than to stay with her.
His own parents had protected him, told him to hide before they got gunned down like filthy pigs, but her parents? Her Mother, Her Father… they left her, for the work that made monsters from people. Leon doubted that Sherry wasn’t strong, otherwise actually, she was stronger than any kid he knew… but he still remembered vividly that night after Raccoon City got blown sky high, when he stayed at a rundown motel with her to get some rest, how she clung to him in her sleep as if trying to hold onto his being, as if she was scared that he’s going to leave her too when Claire decided to go on her own to search for Chris and he had stayed With Sherry all alone.
He haven’t stayed with Sherry alone for too long, but during those nights where he held Sherry and tried to soothe her when she had nightmares, he thought about Claire. He wondered if Claire had found her brother, or what she would do if she was here instead of him because he was lost himself. He had no place to stay, was running out of finances and barely slept, not to mention that gunshot in his shoulder hurt like a bitch which didn’t really gave him pleasant sleep anyway. But suddenly, when he was taken away and separated with Sherry by bunch of weird men, he felt like he can’t let them take her away from him. He just didn’t wanted anything to happen to her, but no matter how much he fought back, he still ended up in that interrogation room.
They called it 'Secret government program', urged him to sign himself up willingly. But Leon wasn’t stupid, he knew there’s something fishy about it all, so he refused only to get the only thing dear to him used against him. Sherry. He has only two options after that. If he refuses, they will use her a lab rat before terminating her. But if he agrees like a good boy, they won’t land a finger on her if he’ll work for them. He didn’t have a choice that day, he couldn’t let the girl get treated like a mere rat for sick and twisted experiments.
But despite that, he still tried to negotiate. He was going to agree if they will let him see Sherry at least few times in a month so he’ll be sure she’s okay, but it didn’t go as planned. He had to sign the contract that wasn’t humane, it made from him just a dog that will do anything when the bone is thrown. It wasn’t that easy for him, he was forced to do all the work no matter what. But still, he could only watch the girl through thick one way mirror, never getting a chance to see her face to face the proper way as he wished.
He never felt quite alive since then, he was barely surviving the training, punishing missions… but he pushed through because he knew he was doing this all just for Sherry, she was the anchor in his messy life. She was the one he was protecting with his life. Till he was breathing, the government couldn’t harm her. So he crawled through every obstacle life threw at him.
But once he thought he’s out of the woods, and things doesn’t seem so bad, he met her. Her name was Manuela Hildago, and she was a brilliant girl in Leon’s eyes. Manuela reminded him of Sherry, the mutations that their bodies possessed due to infections from the viruses that didn’t changed them into monsters. Leon had the urge to protect her, she was innocent too and wanted to sacrifice herself back then so badly because she didn’t wanted anyone to be in pain or suffer for her, and it was painful to watch when she got so disgusted by herself when she got to know what her father had been doing to the other poor girls just to keep Manuela alive and well. All Leon wanted to do back then was to save the girl and give her a safe space to stay in.
Manuela’s words felt like a parallel to what Sherry told him when they were safe from Raccoon City, it brought him a distant ache that settled deep within his heart. The feeling of being powerless against the government almost terrified him, because it was the truth. He could only break his body while working for government just to keep Sherry safe, but he was unable to give her complete freedom. The same would go for Manuela, even if he begged for the girl to be let go and live her own life, they wouldn’t let her go. The last time he saw Manuela was when they were safe in the chopper, leaving yet another place where hell on earth unfolded.
Even after he met Ashley when saving her from that goddamn cult of sick bastards, he still felt like another pawn in the game of Chess, but at least during that time he didn’t saw Ashley in the way like he saw Sherry and Manuela. Unlike them, Ashley had a loving family, a family that sent him to bring her back home. But that mission alone was pain for him. Not because he was sick of those mind controlling parasites or Ashley being terrified to death, it brought him pain when he lost the people he trusted. The couple of lost lives marked him for life, he wasn’t used to watch people die, and every damn time when he watched someone else leaving this world it still hurt the same. But he was too caught up in his work to actually stop for a moment and talk about what was stuck in his mind, because he believed it is his burden only and nobody else needs to hear about his struggles that won’t let him sleep peacefully at night.
Fear, anger, grief. It all stuck to him like glue and molded him into something he wasn’t and never really wanted to be. When he was kid himself, he wondered many times what kind of man he will be when he grows up, what his life will be, but he never thought it will turn out like this. Twisted and sick, full of grief and despair, eternal suffering that brought nightmares into his moments of solitude. At some point he thought he isn’t helping anyone, only getting his hands dipped in more blood. Especially after Sherry grew up, when she didn’t need his help and protection and became an agent like he was. She didn’t need him sacrificing his own life to keep her safe because she had her own ways to keep herself alive. She didn’t need him anymore, but god, that was so painful to even think about. Because now, when she was capable of surviving without his help, he was only tool that couldn’t quit working for government because he did too much, seen too much. All he could do now was to endure everything and think for once he’s doing the right thing.
But at moments when he was all alone, drinking away his sorrows, trying to drown his nightmares that knew very well how to swim and keep up with him, he felt like nothing. Too numb to live a normal life, too broken to go on. He felt like he had missed to many things in his life, was only stuck with the horrible things he’s seen. He had sunk to the rock bottom, being just a dead weight. All he was capable of doing was to watch his comrades die, people get infected, end lives of poor people that got transformed into living weapons and sit at the bar and drink like some deadbeat father of a family that he didn’t have. At those times he was thinking about the things that he could have done better or differently.
If it weren’t for Chris pulling him back above the surface of water, he would have drowned in the pool of alcohol that burned on his tongue like venom of the deadliest snake. And he didn’t know what happened from that moment, all he knew was that the people around him started to realize he wasn’t coping with all the bad things that ever happened to him the great way. And it was very hard to pull himself back onto his feet, to be a better man once again even though he haven’t thought of himself that way for a very long time. But once again, he did it for Sherry, he did it for Manuela, he did it for Claire, he did it for Chris. They all tried too hard with him, offering a helping hand that he clearly needed. And all he had to do was to accept the help, reach for their hands and get himself back.
But how how it was now? One may have asked. Well, it wasn’t the greatest but for once he wasn’t sitting in some dark bar drowning himself in whiskey. This time he could just sit at the dinner table watching all the people he loved being around him. And he wasn’t going to lie, he loved being here. He loved watching Chris and Claire bicker like two stubborn kids, oh well, in his eyes they were two stubborn Redfields. But the second thing he loved, and his favorite, was Sherry that had a very enthusiastic conversation with Jake that for once came to have dinner with them. He wasn’t really engaging in all those conversations, he loved to watch his family. He loved to watch his little girl being the grownup she was, talking and smiling and having the time of her life in their tight circle of love.
Things weren’t ever easy for Leon, it was pure hell on earth, but he was glad to be here. It all brought him a warm feeling into his chest, because for once he didn’t have to watch someone die. Instead of screams he could hear laughter and friendly banter that made him involuntarily chuckle. He could watch his Sherry to be the woman he always wanted her to be, but in his eyes, she was still that small girl that clung to him and looked at him with those big doe eyes, mutely asking him to stay with her no matter what.
It was never happily ever after, but there were happy moments like these.