Chapter Text
chris mclean was having a bad day. a really really bad day. the teenagers he was abusing had found a way off the island, through a mysterious portal, and they were gone. he'd sent a few interns in after them, and then sent chef, but no one had come back.
"alright, fine," chris muttered. "if you want something done well, you gotta do it yourself."
he jumped in.
suddenly he was inside a donut shop. two teenagers were staring at him. he noticed that they were hot, because he was both bisexual and a pedophile.
the blonde girl spoke up. "um, hello. i'm...i'm sadie, this is lars, who...?"
"chris mclean!" he said with his award-winning smile. "from total drama!"
"isn't that the show where you torture innocent teenagers to the brink of insanity?" the taller redhead said confusedly.
"...maybe?"
"awesome, i love that show!" the boy-lars, apparently-fist pumped the air happily.
chris smiled. "ah, a fan!"
"obviously! how did you come up with such genius, mr. mclean?!"
"please, mr. mclean is my father. it's chris."
"holy shi-"
"LARS!" sadie interrupted. "that show is so cruel, how could you! you both make me sick."
chris was about to respond when the door opened behind him. gwen wandered inside with courtney.
courtney gasped. "chris!"
"courtney, glad i found ya! listen, we really oughta go back. do you know where everybody is?"
courtney scoffed. "as IF i'd tell YOU, you creepy schmuck!"
gwen nodded. "yeah, we're all super glad to be away from that island! even the interns are, and even CHEF is!"
"that traitorous bastard..."
courtney giggled. "and guess what we can do here, without you complaining about how ratings will go down!"
she twirled gwen around and dipped her, kissing her passionately.
chris and lars both recoiled, shielding their eyes, while sadie went "aww..."
~~~~~
will chris be able to gather all the campers back up?
will other gay couples emerge?
will sadie finally beat up lars?
find out on the next episode of total. drama. UNIVERSE!!!