Chapter Text
“...can you repeat that shit again?”
It was another day within the House of Spiders. A cesspool that she’s growing to despise as time goes by.
Valencina knew that the day of tutoring would come within a few weeks and she has been busy drowning herself to death with work.
Rien, that half face bastard who started this all house thingy, came to her with a Prescript involving her.
And that’s where they are now.
“Mhn. Did you miss the words just now? I can repeat it to you if you want.”
“I heard you the first time, bastard!” The former sottocapo snapped, glaring at the Index Nursefather with annoyance.
“So you want me to get a husband? That is what your stupid Prescript said?”
“Mhn. Yes.” A series of beeps interrupted their conversation.
The Index nursefather pulled out his receiver, deciphering the prescript.
“Hmm. Good thing I have made you an account.”
“Hah? The fuck did you mean by that?”
He walked towards Valencina and sat beside her, pulling out a phone and showing it to her.
“To the former Sottocapo: Enter a dating app; Swipe left four times and swipe right once.”
The said blonde blinked, “Ex-fuckings-cuse me–!?”
Rien quickly swiped the phone, before she could respond, “It is done.” Rien spoke, looking unrepentant and whimsical at the same time.
“YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” She drew her blades, but in the end…
The House of Spiders will never be the same.
{Meanwhile, somewhere in District 8}
“...can you repeat that shit to me again?” A middle aged man stared dumbfounded.
The party is in full swing. Well, his farewell party.
After 10 years of service, Izzy pleaded to both his lord and his superior to let him retire.
The chances were low. Lower than his odds back in the Smoke War where it was lower than the burial grounds he used to fight on.
He was one of the Adepts of the Mao heishou packs, one of the few who did more than just completing missions.
Hell, he was being compared to the Rabbit Star as they called her.
It was nerve wracking, but he was approved.
The odds were low. All he asked was his freedom.
It was worth it. His Lord is very understanding.
And now, his soon-to-be former packmates were celebrating with him. They changed so much after the Jade Qilin took them all in.
He was grateful for it.
But now, all he wants is to plant his cursewrit butcher sword into them.
“We logged you in a dating app!” One of them, Feng, proudly spoke, showing him the app in question.
“B-but why?!” Izzy exclaimed. He just wants a simple farewell party, not a surprise hook up damnit!
“Izzy, my man, you gotta get a girl or you’ll be lonely as fuck!” Another, Xue Ping, piped, “Like, dude. You worked almost as bad as our Lord’s advisor. You gotta let loose for once, you know?”
“bweeeeehhh?! It's not like I'll get a date…”
Some of them laughed and giggled, “Sorry man, it’s on search now~.”
The soon-to-be former Adept groaned, “I swear, really! I have no chance–!”
Ding! “You have a match~.”
By the Xieren’s armpits.
“Oho~, look at her! She looked fiiiinnneee.” One of them crowed as they crowded around the phone.
“Yeah, look at that glare. That got me shivers, man.” Another exclaimed.
Someone slapped the back of the Tuzi, “Yep, look! She’s also a former smoke war hero! Ya bro is so lucky~.”
Izzy, who couldn’t take it anymore, activated his Mao strider and leapt towards the phone, stealing it and retreating into the shadows.
Sighing in exasperation, he looked at his apparent match.
A Blue eye meets his lone cyan eye.
Huh, she is beautiful. That hat of hers makes her even look gritty.
Normally, he would opt out and cancel the match. He is way out of her league.
That was until she started chatting.
[ValenEye: Oi, you]
[ValenEye: You're ignoring me, aren’t you?]
Shit. Uhh, quick! Speak up!
[TuziBnuyy: Bwugeh]
Nailed it. Wait.
[TuziBnuyy: Sorry]
[TuziBnuyy: Slippery fingers]
[TuziBnuyy: I uhhh, hi?]
[ValenEye: That's all you have to say?]
[ValenEye: huh?]
Guh.
[TuziBnuyy: Im not the one who accepted me out of the blue missus]
[TuziBnuyy: Excuse me from being flashbanged by someone like you]
[ValenEye: I see.]
[ValenEye: So, do you want to go on a date?]
By the Xieren’s balls.
[TuziBnuyy: HUH]
[TuziBnuyy: WJAT]
[TuziBnuyy: IMEAN]
[TuziBnuyy: GEUGH?!]
[TuziBnuyy: I uhh, maam? We just met on phone 😫]
[ValenEye: ? I'll be the one paying, why are you making such a fuss.]
Is this woman for real?!
“This is got to be a cat fish. What the actual fuck?” I mumbled out of shock.
[TuziBnuyy: Dont tell me your a guy]
[TuziBnuyy: like, theres no way youre as pretty as your pic suggests]
[ValenEye: ???
[ValenEye: Are you retarded, why would I buy food just to cat fish you???]
[ValenEye: Do you hear yourself???]
[TuziBnuyy: NO ONE ASK A DATE ON DAY 1 😭]
By the Wings, he feels like an idiot too.
[ValenEye: You sound like a quieter]
[ValenEye: Why did you even go on a dating site then?
[ValenEye: Do you want to, or not?]
[TuziBnuyy: Fine! Im coming in my work clothes.]
[TuziBnuyy: tiem and dtae?]
[TuziBnuyy: *Time and date]
[ValenEye: Tomorrow, at 5Pm night, at a bar.]
[ValenEye: Heard of Old Blues? The bar?]
That old place is still standing? Huh, yeah. Maybe she has some tastes as well.
[TuziBnuyy: im suprised that its still standing, i thought the rosters pecked the hell out of that place a year ago]
[ValenEye: Oh?]
[ValenEye: I'll take that as a yes, alright I'll catch you there.]
[TuziBnuyy: aight]
[TuziBnuyy: its a date then]
If this person is a catfish, they’re going to die. If they are not…
Well, he guesses that he is feeling a little lonely lately.
It’s not like they’re gonna fuck like rabbits tomorrow night, right?
Sadly, fate can be a jester. It does not care who will be the next joke.
Izzy tries to cool his jitters. It wasn't really a big problem, but apparently dates can be more daunting than the Family Hierarchy war.
See, yesterday he was celebrating his retirement being an Adept of the Mao Heishous. His Lord is very generous and understanding, knowing that his time of penance has been long and due. So imagine his surprise when his fellow Heishous set him up on a dating app and not even a minute later, he's got a date!
They only chatted for a while online, exchanging some half-hearted courtesies and the like. But that is enough for her to schedule a meeting. How nice of her to set it up near H-Corp. He doesn't need to buy a First-Class seat on a W-Corp train, which is a plus!
And now, standing in front of the Old Blues that was supposed to be destroyed, Izzy shuffles his feet and stops before the bouncer.
"Appointment?"
The former Mao Heishou calms himself, "A reserve from Valencina." Showtime.
The bouncer checked the list before nodding and opening the door, "Go in, don't make trouble, and pay for your drink in advance."
Izzy stepped in, his eyes instinctively scanning the surroundings. Blindspots, exit route, and threat assessment.
On the bar’s front, Valencina awaits, brooding as she swirls her drink in front of her.
Whether or not she knew doesn't matter to her in the slightest.
Her goal was simple: figure out who the hell she is dating. That damn Rien, she thought. She felt as though he was making up bullshit at this point. Either that ‘beeping’ or the device is faulty.
Spoke a few, potty mouth words here and there, but that's that. If it gets me closer to reaching my goal, so be it…
And so she agreed.
Rien had provided her the money and the reservation, that didn’t still absolve him of his damn shit.
No biggy, just follow what she was told.
And now she waits, waiting for 10 minutes…
"This bastard... Rien you piece of shit." She muttered.
Back at the entrance, Izzy finished his initial scan and walked inside towards the bartender.
His eyes captured a blond woman wearing the colors of the Thumb.
He had to hide his scoff, Fools who never knew true discipline.
But the former heishou is not here for her. Hopefully.
He stepped up to the bar counter, "Reservation from Valencina, can you please point out to me where she might be?"
The bartender nervously looked at the thumb lady and said nothing.
Very telling.
Izzy sat nearby, letting the thumb lady who is his date, of all people, know that he's here.
Surely wearing his old Adept clothes will make his date approve of him, right?
Back to Valencina, her Eye of Odin is telling her someone familiar is sitting near her.
"You, what's your name?" She didn't bother to look.
Footsteps are a little familiar as well... Heishou? Must be a coincidence, she thought, intrigued.
Izzy shifted, her attitude sparks a memory in him. "...Izzy."
He had to fight his urge to tap his foot in agitation.
"Izzy... Izzy... Wait…” She turned her head around, just in time for him to meet her eyes.
His gaze met hers. A familiar–
It was the Smoke War. There he was, laughing at someone despite his body leaking blood more profusely. His ears picked up Italian curses with gunfire.
He simply laughs at the attempts, grinning as his eyes graces his opponent’s–
–face.
Shit. The former Adept thought.
"... The invincible bastard?” She squinted her eyes, her bottle of booze nearly slipped, before lightening. "Rabbit?!?”
Izzy blinks, "...I swear I just got here and never drank anything other than water."
Why the hell is his first fucking date the same gal who put more holes in him than the fucking G-Corp assfucks?!
He pinched his thigh hard, "...nope. Not hallucinating. Fuck.”
"Did I drink too much?" She muttered, only drinking a single shot of whiskey... No way… No... No… This can't be real.
His head flinched back, "W-what the fuck?"
"Rabbit, are you this desperate?" She mockingly teased
He turns fully at her, incredulous, "You think, this is MY idea, woman? Do you think I would stoop this low and make myself equal with a bitch like you?”
"Bitch?! I bet your flaccid dick couldn't even stand!" She took another shot, before slamming into the table.
"Ironic, isn't it for a rabbit?" Before grinning once more, "let's settle our score.”
Oh fuck no.
"Nuh uh." Izzy shuts her down, crossing his arms in an X manner.
"Yup, I think." She opened another bottle of whiskey, "You, Bunny, are pretty tame compared to the last time we met.”
"So young, and that was before I..." Her tone turned nostalgic for a moment. “Became a Capo of the Thumb.”
Is this bitch rage baiting him?
"Careful now, I do remember how I managed to get your prideful ass bitch. Wanna run that back with me again?” The former Heishou growled, his hackles raised.
"Bunny, You can hop all you want. But, unlike last time, I have an ace up my sleeve..." She drew her blades. “No matter what you can do, I can see through it all.”
His foot began to tap in agitation. He turns his head to the bartender, who is on the verge of tears.
Damn it. He's so lucky that his Lord is very understanding.
"Thumb but dumbass, bitch." He stood off his seat, "Not even bothering to adhere the same courtesy that your Finger brutally indoctrinated to you? Oh wait, you're actually washed right now don't you–?”
"SHUT IT..!" Valencina yelled, veins in her forehead showed, then, she quickly took another gulp at the whiskey bottle. "Just... Let's just enjoy this, like... The old times." She raised her saber towards the door.
The former Adept scoffed, "Glass cannon." Nonetheless, he stepped out of the bar, nodding at the bouncer in apology.
Privately, he is also interested. How long was it again? Too long.
Izzy walked to the open street with his hands in his pockets, noting how the streets seemed empty.
"It's... convenient..." She placed the bottle down as she readied herself.
How long has it been since she had truly fought him?
He was one of the few things her pride can tolerate, not many are skilled, nor could survive her back in those days.
She breathed in and out. "But the time to talk ends here. Let's see who wins this final round..." Her grip tightened, a faint glow appeared on her covered right eye.
She made a mad dash towards the former heishou.
Izzy sighs, "...I had endured it all."
The former Adept sidestepped, dodging the attempt and pulling out his cursewrit butcherblade behind his back, unfurling it out of its clothing.
"Graze on." His blade lashed out, meeting two blades in a sword lock before parrying each and every slash.
He can feel his heart jumping to that familiar speed. While his lungs no longer suffer from the arid smoke, his body remembers it all.
A wound to the arm. Irrelevant. Counter.
He felt his ankle sliced. Don't care. Pommel to the face.
The former sottocapo predicted it, 3 steps ahead of him. She quickly attempted a leg sweep, knocking one of his feet from the ground.
He fell to the ground, his body instinctively recovering and delivering counter after counter. All the while his wounds began to build.
At some point, his mask was shredded apart, revealing his grinning visage not so different from a You Heishou.
Speaking of that particular pack, he thinks it is time to show her his old habit.
"Bloodtalons..." He flipped on his back, drawing another sword with his other hand, "Conflagrate!"
Bloodflame Blade. A sword exclusively for the You Heishous that uses blood and wounds as fuel to their flames.
His Lord was very understanding when he asked for a few final things before he left the pack for good.
Valencina pulled back, a grin came to bloom out of her lips unconsciously. Come on... Give me that thrill!
"Rabbit." She said, as her eye predicted each and every strike, it felt as though she was accelerating, as the light of her eyes intensity.
"I'm truly glad to settle this fight, one last time... Let's... Bury our past together..." Perhaps out of drunkenness she muttered those uncharacteristic words, she really didn't care.
Disposal. She dashed forward, much more calculated than before,
One. With both of her blades she landed her first hits.
On the second and third, she kept distance from him, injuring him in spots he found familiar... The same wounds as last time...
On the fourth... She stepped back, feeling the burn underneath her skin.
On the fifth she hesitated to pull the trigger?
Izzy laughs, coughing up blood as he feels his end drawing near.
Ah, not so glorious in hindsight. But really, he just enjoyed this war despite the foulness of the air.
He's on his knees, his flesh barely holding all his organs inside. He can feel everything in his body rupturing.
There's nothing more than that. A war means a battle against life.
Thus, the former war hero of the Smoke War rose up once more.
"Hehehe...hahaha...more...come on, finish me already!" He charged, fueled by nothing but defiance.
Ooh... The booze is kicking in, wings... "Huh?" Another side step... Fuck...
"Hah... I like you, maybe that bastard has a point..." What nonsense am muttering..?
"Ragh! Graaghh!" His mouth barely formed words, just wild swings that were also calculated, and a will that seemed undying.
The same will that will stoop to any level just to even the field.
Izzy grabbed her arms in a frenzy, ignoring how the blades burned his shoulders.
Snarling, he hurled them both into a building. Crashing walls after walls and keeping a vice grip over his opponent.
Then he trips, sending him and his enemy down to a basement-like area, where a single broken hole is their source of light.
It took a moment to realize that they both lost their swords in the scuffle.
Izzy took advantage and punched Valencina in the face.
She gritted her teeth. Ha, what a mess I remember the time, those 3 days... Those bastards...
She quickly retaliated with a headbutt of her own.
The former Adept staggered, but laughed off the attack.
He tries to stand up, but couldn't, wounds from the past reappearing to slow him down.
Damn it, He thought sluggishly. He should've become a You Heishou. But he knows the value of a well-placed strike, and would rather not want his brain turned into a brick.
Valencina began to laugh, "Ridiculous isn't it..." She stood up, "Fighting for something we don't even know that will succeed... In hopes to live another day.”
Izzy would snark about it if it weren't for the fact that his throat was clogged up with so much blood, it started to become hard to breathe.
He heaved himself, grinning despite his new and old mortal wounds, reappearing.
"Gah, grgh."
Ah, I want to say something. The former heishou thought with derision.
"Geagh." He tries again but still fails to form words.
Dizzy was the last though she could think clearly, as she pinned him down—
Before kissing him?!
He froze. His brain halted.
What?
Just. What?!
The moment their kiss broke, Izzy panted out his next thoughts.
"Bwug?! Uhghu? I-aye, kiss? W-whuh?”
That's enough for him to grab his ampule on his side, which he totally forgot about.
Ampule administered, he tries to push her away–
She sat herself comfortably on him before laying down, like a cat finding a nice warm bed before enveloping him in a hug.
He opened his mouth, intent to speak out about his protests.
"Bwugh?!" Yep. Nailed it.
No response. Except of course, a tightening of arms.
The former sottocapo hugged him tightly around the waist, his arms unable to move.
He uneasily shifted, feeling the woman's strength overpowering him despite the ampule.
My Lord, This is my first day of retirement and I nearly died again because my date is the same woman who gave me too many wounds back in my foolish days.
He enjoyed the war. What he didn't enjoy was the result of it.
Resigning to his fate, he bonelessly flipped to the side and curled into her embrace.
It's been a while since he slept in someone's warmth, after all.
That didn't stop him from nervously shuffling whenever his face lay on Valencina's open bosom.
Hick– She quickly tightened her grip onto her ‘pillow’
"W-woman, wake the fuck up!" He tries to struggle, wriggling his arms as his face turns red. “Aaaaaaaaaaaaa–!”
Light hit Izzy’s closed eyelids.
His face crouched up, grumbling as he lazily cuddled his soft pillow close.
He is back in his apartment bed. Good. That was a nightmare.
Ah, so warm. He was slowly going back to La la land when a smell of something strong hit his nose.
T-this smell… He paused, before he truly woke up like someone injected espresso straight into his veins.
Since when did his place start smelling like alcohol–?!
A whining moan cut off his thoughts, forcing him to finally open his eyes and–
Wide blue eyes meet cyan eyes. “G-get off me, Hare!”
That’s all the warning the former heishou gets before he gets his face a fistful of knuckles.
“Bleugh?!” While the blow didn’t hurt much, the impact forced him to stagger back in surprise.
He rose up, face twisting into lividness.
“The fuck are you doing in my…bed…”
In his panic, he pulled the blanket close to him, revealing Valencina in all her glory.
“You-!!” She quickly grabbed the blankets. “Why are— WHY THE FUCK ARE WE IN BED?!?!”
Wings damn– Wait! No horny fu–
“Hey! That’s my fucking blanket, bitch!” Izzy tugged the cloth back.
“FUCK OFF!” She pulled it back, veins appearing on her head.
The two began to pull, like a tug of war with their dignity on the line.
Sadly, the former heishou’s blanket isn’t fixer grade.
Riiiip!
Izzy felt a part of him had died, “Noooooooo!!!!”
He clutched his remaining blanket, weeping as he held his favorite blanket like a dying comrade.
“You…” The heishou growled, “You fucking bitch! That was my favorite blanket and you ruined it!”
“What do you mean, that was mine.”
Beep
A beeping sound could be heard, before a sudden knock on the door.
Who the fuck is it this time–!?
"Ah, you consummate your love. Good.” A smooth refined voice spoke behind the door.
The words made Izzy freeze.
Why is it chilly all of the sudden?
He looked down underneath his blanket, then at Valencina whose face was almost as red as her clothes.
Speaking of clothes, they are everywhere.
His eyes focused on one thing, Huh, red velvet with black lace–
“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK RIEN?!?” Valencina instinctively grasped her hands in thin air. “YOU ARE LUCKY I CAN’T THROW ANOTHER BOTTLE!”
Meanwhile for the former Mao Adept, his mind is racing.
No clothes. Naked. Bed. He took a sniff at the air around the room, smelling the same musk that his pack used to smell whenever they went to heat.
Oh. Ohhhhh…
Izzy slowly sat on the bed before clutching his head with his hands.
“I…I just fucked a bitch.” He spoke like he just got raped.
Valencina whirled at him, her face twisting in rage, “THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!”
“A bitch, that’s what!”
“OH, YOU WANNA DIE NOW, AREN’T YOU?!” Dropping her piece of Izzy’s ruined blanket, the former sottocapo charged and clocked the former heishou’s face.
“Guh?! You fucking–!” He retaliated, wrestling the blonde woman into the bed.
A pair of tired blue eyes met a cyan eye with a black eye.
Standing outside a normal apartment, a former Mao Adept heishou and a former sottocapo stood a meter apart from each other.
“...” Valencina’s face is full of bruises, bites, and claw marks. Her hair disheveled despite attempts of taming it. Her rumpled clothes gave her a rushed look too.
“...” Izzy’s is far worse. Face swollen, nose bleeding, a few lost teeth, split lip, more bite marks and claws on his back. His heishou clothes made him look like a homeless bum.
And despite all of that, their faces have a tint of red.
“...We’re not going to talk about this.” Izzy started, his words barely legible.
“... Agreed.” she muttered, too tired to yell back.
A clap took both of their attention.
“I’m rather happy how this endeavor turned out,” Rien stepped out of the shadows, a polite smile on his lips.
“Your sword abilities might be crude, but your resilience is beyond one could ever imagine, Mr. Izzy.”
The former heishou narrowed his eyes, “The fuck are your boyscout girlscout ass doing here?”
“Shut up, slave of the Index.” Valencina all but ignored her fellow nursefather. “Ignore him, and leave him be, an index member is not worthy of a conversation.”
Rien didn’t change his smile, “Ah, how hurtful your words are.”
A series of beeps. The black haired man took out his beeper from his chest pocket, smiling as he interpreted the prescript he was given.
“To the former Unkillable Soldier: Follow the former sottocapo and be a father.” He spoke, as if he didn’t deliver a bombshell worthy of a sentence.
Izzy could only blink.
Valencina paused, processing the words that Rien spoke, then let her potty mouth speak her thoughts, “... DID YOU PLAN TO GET ME PREGNANT YOU SON OF A BITCH!?”
Ahh, he should’ve stayed with his Lord.