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It was the gut-wrenching realization that everyone had been right that did her in.
When Edward brought Bella home as his fiancée, she felt the tension in the room grow to an uncomfortable level. Jasper’s smile was strained, though Bella wanted to blame that on Bella’s proximity and the emotional cocktail burning in her chest. Emmett’s laugh was hollow when Bella joked that they’d be sister and brother for real, and Bella blamed that on the never-ending argument about whether she’d be changed or not. Carlisle and Esme kept the same polite smile, but Esme’s was tighter.
Rosalie – well, Rosalie wasn’t there.
When Bella asked about her, Esme told her that Alice took her hunting, and the lie was sour enough that Bella couldn’t ignore it. And she couldn’t describe how much it hurt to know that Alice took Rosalie away on purpose. If not to delay the inevitable confrontation, but to lessen the tension. Bella’s hand shook as she drank the punch Esme made for her, and Emmett saw. His knowing look cut through Bella’s false contentment.
The woman she loved, the man she settled for, and the lies she swallowed to keep herself afloat.
Bella stared at Rosalie a week later from the parking lot. Edward was distracted by Jasper, and Emmett spoke in wide gestures to Alice. The pinch of her brow, the not-so-subtle glances at the ring on Bella’s finger, and the utter despair buried in her gaze called to Bella like a siren. But the moment passed, and Rosalie was gone. Emmett went with her, and Bella forced herself to smile when Edward came over.
Everything was wonderful.
And then it wasn’t.
It took about three months before Bella realized Edward was very much the monster he claimed to be, just not for the reasons he thought. There weren’t any bruises, but there were moments when Bella wished there were. Because bruises were easier to explain than why she flinched each time someone raised their voice. She wished she could explain away the books that slowly disappeared from her room, donations to some other lonely girl that didn’t need the love story immortalized on the pages. She wished she could explain why she threw away college pamphlets that weren’t in Seattle or Alaska. She wished she could tell someone about the last time she saw Jacob, how he stared at her from the rearview mirror after she told him they couldn’t see one another again.
Bella packed her bag silently, careful of her steps as Charlie slept in the other room. Edward was out hunting, and he already said that he would see her in the morning. So, she took advantage of knowing that he was gone to prepare her next move. She propped her letter for Charlie on the pillow. She wasn’t leaving, but she wasn’t coming back. Not to Forks, at least. Bella had been pulling away from Charlie for months. Their relationship became stagnant, and it was Bella’s fault. She knew that. And one day, she would apologize in person. Until then, she had to rip the band-aid, so to speak. One parent didn’t want her, and the other parent wanted her so much that it made her skin crawl.
Bella double-checked her room and walked barefoot down the stairs and outside the door. She half-ran, half-power walked to the idle car parked near the stop sign at the end of her street, and Bella slipped into the warm air with ease. The driver said nothing as they pulled away, the speed steady and smooth as they drove past downtown, past the diner, and past the school. Bella reached over and grabbed the cold hand clutching the wheel. Fingers intertwined with hers, and soft lips pressed against her knuckles.
“I love you.”
Three words, whispered in the near silence, made Bella’s heart melt.
“I love you too.”
Rosalie’s smile lit up the darkness that lurked in Bella’s consciousness, and she knew then and there that she made the right choice.