Chapter Text
God it's good to see you smiling again. The younger rider smiled back, the moment incredibly brief but somehow all the more special for it, before refocusing on the sheet again and nodding at Santi, a sudden feeling of incredible nostalgia and something bittersweet going through him. When we were younger and much more innocent and it felt like we'd rule forever. He took another breath, noticing the flash of frown on his crew chief's face as he could evidently tell the Repsol rider was distracted, and then pushed the feeling away again before laughing sadly to himself at the dark irony of it. Yeah, push it away. You're good at that.
*
Sepang, 2015
"Hey. You in there? It's me."
"Hi, me."
"Hi." The older rider leaned his forehead on the door, getting the hint as it didn't open, before turning round and sliding down into cross-legged, leaning back and opening the top button on his shirt. We could have had it all, baby. We could have had it all if I'd just moved when I had the chance-
Marc sat there, listening to the rustle as his teammate slid down the door, and took another sip from the glass before his lip wobbled and he bit down on it. "Not really in the mood. It's not you."
"I guessed." The older rider sighed, the confirmation of what he'd already known still stinging, and turned his head slightly to talk through the wood. "You know I'm not here to tell you to cheer up. I'm just here if you need me-"
"Don't think I do, thanks."
Ouch. "Ok. Well I'm going to sit here for a while in case you do. No pressure. No reason. No motive. Just here, just in case."
"Dani I just want to be on my own-"
"You are on your own. As much as I can let myself allow to happen. If you still want to be on your own in a bit, then fine. Until then-"
"This isn't making this any easier-"
"I know you like shutting people out, Marc. Me included. But those people have a choice about how they take it. Me? I'm not going to make it worse or force my way in. But I'm going to stay and wait, so if you let your walls down for a few seconds, I'm ready. Only a few seconds away."
There was a long pause after that, Dani listening intently as he tried to hear any kind of reaction to it, as the man on the other side bit his lip again and wiped his eyes on his sleeve as it spilled over slightly, and silently.
"Marc?"
Nothing.
*
"Sorry." Marc made a whoops face, almost barreling through his teammate as he opened the door to go into the garage, before smiling as Dani's eyes widened on purpose and the older man grinned back.
"Ride through for 93."
"Pfff-" He flustered a bit, that side of Dani having been muted for too long, before rolling his eyes and grinning again, stepping back and holding the door open as the older rider nodded and grinned his thanks, slapping Marc on the denim-clad ass and laughing to himself as he made it back into the paddock, last words just audible as they faded out. Oh my God-
"I'm glad I can still leave you speechless…"
*
Aragon, 2015
Marc: Amazing
Dani: Thank you. You ok?
Marc: Not bad. Back at home already.
Dani: Ah ok. That answers the question about later then…
Marc: Sorry I'm just not in the mood
Dani: I figured you wouldn't be. Just as long as you're not injured, don't worry about it.
Marc: Ok. Amazing, like I said. Have a good night xxx
Dani: Thanks
Marc: xxx
Dani: x
*
"Evening…"
"Good evening." Dani smiled back, Santi sitting down opposite him at the table, and then took another sip of his coffee as the older man sighed in weary happiness. "Long day, eh?"
"Yup." The Crew Chief smiled and nodded, yawning a bit for good measure, and then smiled at someone behind the older rider and then shot him a tiny, almost imperceptible look. Is this ok with you?
Dani wondered about that for a second before he felt a hand on his shoulder squeeze a hello, and felt a little shiver at both that and the fact that Santi had somehow known to ask. Hello, you.
"Can I join you?"
Swear you're a bit nervous. "Yeah? Think this bearded guy belongs to you anyway." Dani grinned at Santi's giggle as he'd tried to take a sip of water, before steeling himself and looking up at Marc for the eye contact before the younger rider sat down.
I miss you so much and I miss being someone who would know exactly what mood you'd be in. I miss feeling like I had an ally and I miss exchanging random motocross instagram posts. "Santi is a free elf." The younger rider salvaged the mood, grinning as Dani's laugh lit him up, and then took the seat next to him and tried to calm his heartbeat. This is how it started, this is how-
The older rider sat there a few seconds, taking a silent survey on the man now sat next to him, before taking a deep breath and letting his leg gently lean against Marc's - nothing to see from the outside world, and a tiny hitch of breath in reaction from the younger man.
But he didn't move away.
*
Montmelo, 2014
Marc: Sorry if that was a bit close
Dani: Just a bit :P
Marc: Not too much?
Dani: I didn't end up on the floor so I'll let it slide ;)
Marc: jaja ok
Dani: Have fun, see you in Assen
Guess you don't want to have a beer then.
Marc: Ok…
*
"Right guys, sleep well. I'm off."
"Night." Marc smiled back first, not making any move, and tried to hide the tiny blush as Santi realised that. "See you in the morning."
"I hope so." The older man grinned, turning his goodnight on Dani, and then smirked to himself all the way out as the older rider smiled and nodded back, and didn't move either. I thought that was dead and gone but I guess not.
"So." Marc took a sip of his drink, trying to calm himself and Dani's leg still glued to his, before turning to look at his teammate and then feeling the butterflies flutter again as the older man just looked back, nothing said but nothing needing to be said, flicking his eyes from Marc's to his lips and back.
"So."
"Dani…"
"Yeah." The same trick.
"What's going-"
"Nothing going on. Just being myself."
"Ok. But-"
"No but." Dani smiled, getting to his feet, and then squeezed Marc's shoulder just a little too long, letting it linger as he said the words. "Goodnight, Marc. It was good to spend some time again."
*
Motegi, 2015
Marc: Where are you?
Dani: BAR
"Hey…" Marc grinned at him, having stolen his teammate outside on the smoking terrace briefly, before pulling him into a hug and squeezing him. "Congratulations!"
"Thank you." Tipsy, a little chilly and suddenly so comfortable draped around his teammate, the older man kept him there a bit longer than necessary, before they pulled away just enough to be eye-to-eye. "I can't believe-"
Marc moved first, cutting him off with a kiss as they moved back against the wall, breathing him in as he found himself pulled in closer and then everything slowing to a perfect standstill. "Is this ok-"
"No." Another kiss. "So much better than just ok-"
*
Marc: Thanks for tonight
Dani: ????
Marc: I don't know. Just…was nice
Dani: Was it an invitation…
Marc: Well no
Marc: but you know
Dani: Sorry that sounded bad. It would or could have been. But I'm glad it was a mutual choice
Marc: What was, sorry?
Dani: Having dinner. Spending some time. Santi was there but maybe that was for the best
Marc: Maybe
Dani: I didn't mean that in a bad way. i just…I still find it hard.
Marc: Dani, you were the one who said we should stop
Dani: I know. I had good reasons.
Marc: I know. I didn't argue. But I know, it's not easy
Dani: Not for you?
Marc: Of course not for me. Especially this year. I just want to make it better
Dani: You can't. Only hard work and faith will do that
Marc: I know…
Marc: I just wish I could be there for you. And I wish I still had you to do the same
Dani: So you'd let me now?
Marc: Yes
Dani: Ok. Well I don't need you to be there for me. I'm ok. I'm doing good actually, except the grip.
Marc: OK maybe I read this wrong. Message received
Dani: Wait, I wasn't finished.
Dani: I'm doing good. It's not healthy to be dependent. And I think I was a bit.
Dani: Now I'm ok just as me.
Dani: Doesn't mean I don't miss you and having you in my life
Marc: Oh. You were dependent on me??
Dani: In a bit too deep.
Dani: Doesn't mean I'm not still there for you whenever you need me, or anything else
Marc: Ok…
Dani: Sleep well and have a good race xx
Marc: You too xx
He screenshotted those, sent them to Alex, and then stared at the ceiling for a while going over it.
Marc: ????
Alex: Next move you
*
Sepang, 2015
"Goodnight, if you're still awake." Dani whispered that at the door, having sat there for what was going on for two hours, and then sighed again and slowly walked off down the hall. I guess that tells me all I need to know.