Chapter Text
Chpt 1
John could hardly bear the day as soon as it started and by 5 he was ready to run away. It was the end of the week and he had long been ready for the weekend and the break that came with it. Traffic was the only thing keeping him from going home to have a drink and some quality time with his daughter Lily.
About five years ago John lost his wife and Lily’s mom in a car accident. It had been really hard on both of them but especially for John. Hed been extremely depressed when she passed and developed a drinking problem. He got it under control himself and still drinks but nothing like he used to. Lily had her struggles and had more recently had a difficult time with it since she was getting older. Spending more of her time alone than with her dad which was also hard for John.
Deciding a change was necessary he’d moved them to a new place with a new view and a fresh start. Since starting middle school she’d really come out of her shell making friends and spending more time with John. He was more than grateful for it. Not only for her but for him too. It was his life partner that died and now he had no one to spend it with. Besides Lily of course. She reminded him so much of her mother especially when he was drinking.
John drank a lot more on the weekends. His depression ruled his life and Lily was the only joy in it. Her sweet feminine presence was a high for him. He loved her very very much and sometimes his brain would get the neurons mixed up and he’d end up thinking about her in devious ways. When he drank he couldn’t keep his eyes off her. Anytime he got a chance to stare without her knowing he took it. But she was pretty and looked like her mother so John tried not to be too hard on himself. She was getting to the age were her beauty was developing in different ways.
The two of them had decided a couple months ago on regular movie nights every Friday. Taking turns picking the feature film and snack. Today was one of those days and John couldn’t stop thinking about sitting next to his lgirl on the couch both of them under a blanket. Their couch was massive and very deep so even for John’s tall stature it was quite cozy.
After only 20 or so minutes of rush hour traffic John made it home. His girl would get home almost two hours before he did and he made sure she knew to lock the door and close the blinds. Especially because Lily had a habit of only wearing panties around the house. It was a habit she started showing in her terrible twos, ripping her clothes off at the most inconvenient times. She was far too old for complete nudity but a T-shirt or hoodie and a pair of panties was her comfort clothes. John never made a big deal of it not wanting her feeling bad or self conscious.
That’s why when he opens the door from the garage stepping into the kitchen he isn’t suprised that his dayghter was making popcorn in the kitchen in nothing but panties and an oversized sweater. Morally John knew it was wrong to look but his eyes couldn’t help but wonder and he figured an innocent glance wouldn’t harm his baby girl. Her bare feet lifted off the ground to reach the microwave. And her calf’s flexed and her ass poked out a bit to help her keep her balance. Her soft skin looked so scrumptious he could take a bite right out her flesh. She turned around to look at him.
“Hi daddy” said Lily in her sweet singsong voice. She had the biggest smile on her face. With one arm wrapped around the popcorn bowl she lifted up a dvd from their collection. Once again Lily had chosen a teen coming of age movie about girls doing things they probably shouldn’t be doing. But John knows spending time with his girl is her favorite downtime activity. He also knew taking an interest in her interests would earn him major parenting points.
“I got the tv and dvd player all ready just have to press play.” She was so excited to spend time with her daddy. Even though he worked in the school as a superintendent their paths almost never crossed. Except for the occasional times when Lily needed her Daddy and he couldn’t help but be there for her. The principle and her teacher understood and would probably do the same if they had children. And now that he was all she had she wanted to cling onto him for dear life.
John closed the gap between them and pulled her in for a hug wrapping his arm around her shoulders and kissing her forehead. “How was school?” He placed his lunchbox and briefcase on the counter and reached into the cupboard for a whiskey glass.
“It was alright same old same old. There was a fight during lunch. Oh and after lunch too. I think it was round two.” Lily said chuckling while leaning against the oven with her ankles crossed. She lifted a peice of popcorn to her mouth to munch on. John had finished making his drink and downed it pouring another and taking a big swig. Exhaling loudly and setting his glass down.
“Did they not get in trouble the first time?” Discarding his shoes and coat to their proper places he grabs his glass and sits at the dining room table. “Yes, but to no avail, obviously.” John laughed at her whitty remark feeling a bit proud of himself for passing on the gene. “Did you eat dinner babygirl?” She smiled softly at her dad’s soft tone feeling calm and safe. She nodded pointing to the pizza box on the counter. Most parents would freak if their kid ordered pizza without permission but John didn’t treat Lily like a little kid. Trying to teach her to be responsible he had opened a credit card with a very small limit for her to use and she obviously spent it well.
“Want some?” She asked walking over to the box. He shook his head and pulled the back of her sweater gently. The suprise of it caused her to slowly stumble towards him. She lost balance for a second and fell back into his chest, her thigh pressing against his crotch. Without a thought he groaned softly. He wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her closer and stopping her from getting away. He reached a hand into the popcorn bowl. “I do want some of this though.” Lily giggled and tried getting away while covering the popcorn. His hand was large and strong against her stomach and even though she pulled at his fingers she was no match. John gave in letting her stumble forward a bit making sure she wouldn’t actually fall. “You have to come watch my movie” she yelled.
John went upstairs to change out of his work clothes. For a 36 year old man he looked good for his age despite the drinking except for a bit of grey coming through at the front of his hairline. He hadn’t cared much for his appearance since his wife passed not giving it much importance. However he always kept clean usually clean shaven and a bit of gel in his hair would do. After a day of work his look was way more relaxed and the plaid pajama bottoms and black t added to the look.
John went back downstairs for another drink. After pouring it into the glass he took a swig from the bottle putting the lid back on but taking it with him to the living room for a refill. His rule for himself was as long as he puts it in a glass he can’t drink it as fast. If it wasn’t for Lily he’d walk around with it until he passed out. Something he did often when she was still young enough to have an early bedtime. He could hear her singing along to a song in one of the movie trailers on the tv. He was so grateful for her presence and her light joyful spirit. It opposed his bleak outlook on life.
Lily had dimmed all the lights and turned up the tv. She was sitting in the middle of the couch with her pink blanket ready to press play. John sat to the left of her in the corner of the L part of the couch. He looked at his baby girl the glow of the tv illuminating her soft pale skin and dark hair. His eyes betraying him panned down to her thigh. Her pudgy skin being cut off right where her light blue panties start. Lily wasn’t fat but she wasn’t skinny either. She’d always had a nice layer of fluff on her. Recently it had started to redistribute itself amongst her body. Giving a bit more focus to her hips and thighs. He immediately felt a rush though his body and quickly moved his eyes to the tv. Taking a large sip from his glass.
The rush he got from looking at her always started at the top of his head and made its way down to his cock. He could feel his pants getting a bit tighter. He felt a little guilty thinking of his daughter in this way but what she didn’t know couldn’t hurt her and that’s all her cared about was her. So Lily’s innocence remained but that just turned John on even more. His precious girl had never known the touch of a man and how exciting would it be for him to be the one to share it with her. But he couldn’t have those kind of thoughts. He can’t entertain them because even though he was of sound mind he was a man and he knew there’s only one way the human race kept going.
The drink in his hand started sounding like a bad idea like it always was but he finished what he had left and poured another. As long as he kept his distance tonight’d be smooth sailing. John grabbed a folded blanket from the end of the couch by his feet and draped it over his legs and semi hard on. With his feet up and the distraction of annoying teenage angst on the tv he started to relax and felt his problem going. Lily laughed here and there and he’d glance at her every once in a while but he kept his eyes mostly to himself.
At some point John needed a refill and he didn’t mind missing out on a couple seconds so he gets up without pausing the movie. When he comes back the two main characters are making out. It’s not too hot and heavy mostly pg13 stuff but Lily was hard staring at the tv. It was a bit more intense than her usual observant self. Her focus broke as John walked between her and the tv and she acted like she’d been doing something bad.
John payed no mind to her not wanting to make it awkward for her and sat back down. As he lifted his glass he wondered if his baby girl had thought about kissing boys before. If she had already. He was sure she would tell him though at least that’s what he wanted to believe. But he was very secretive at that age and he was definitely having dirty thoughts as well. She was a girl though it had to be different. The idea of her being curious about sex and pleasure was too much for John. It made his mind wonder to other things. He thought about Lily touching herself. He often thought about that after tucking her in for bed at night.
With about thirty minutes left in the movie Lily got tired. She sets the popcorn on the empty seat next to her and scoots closer to John eventually closing the gap between them. Her chest and shoulder pressed against his bicep and her warmth intrigued him. She rested her small hand on his forearm and he placed his own on top. She looked up at him with a pouty look on her face.
“Daddy, I’m sleepy.” She said fighting back a yawn that had won by the end. Lily’s eyelids were half closed making her look almost high and her bottom lip poked out ever so slightly to get the edge up on her dad. John thought about it hard considering the thoughts he was having, the drink he had in his hand and his own tiredness. But he couldn’t say no to his baby girl. Even though she was a very affectionate girl it had been a couple months or so since they had a cuddle together. A sign of her growing up.
“Of course princess get in here.” John says putting his glass on the coffee table and lifting up the blanket. By this point he had slouched a good way down the back of the couch so his shoulder made a nice pillow. He held out his left arm gesturing for her to scoot a little closer and get comfortable. Her presence immediately over took John’s senses and he had another one of those tingles he felt earlier. Her strawberry shampoo and warmth and soft steady breathing with a slight whistle from a stuffy nose. It all reminded him that he had been missing out on something he deeply needed.
Once Lily had settled herself with her arm over his waist and her breathing slowed John relaxed. She was asleep. She’d been asleep for about 10 min before John had gotten entirely bored of the movie not having a reason to watch it anymore. He took the time to look at her face up close just inches from his. Something he didn’t often get the chance to do anymore. He saw a bit of himself in her. The freckles that dotted her face and her dark long eyelashes were all from John. Her strong but still small nose and full pink lips she got from her mother. He took his left hand and touched her. A couple fingertips gliding down from above her eyebrow to her temple following the natural curve of her full cheeks. Still baby like, soft and pink. His index and middle finger rested on her chin and he couldn’t help but stare at her lips. He lightly rested his thumb on her bottom lip pulling down ever so slightly.
He imagined them wet and glistening. Open wide with her tongue out. Saying awww for her daddy so he can try to fit it in just a little bit more. His cock buried in his baby girls face only makeing it half way down the shaft. Tears fall from her red eyes trying her best to catch a breath or act like she didn’t need one. The sudden imagery suprised John and he realized how hard he was. Instinctively his hand went to cover himself and protect his girl from touching him under the blankets. But the lack of jerking off was getting to him and the slight friction mixed with the depravity of the situation made him move almost involuntarily to working himself through his pajamas. Rubbing his cock away from her so it didn’t poke her hip.
He continued looking at her precious face so many thoughts battling against him in his head. Telling him this is so wrong and to stop. But it felt so good and he was a broken man who couldn’t bring himself to do it. He continued very slowly with his hand on his cock lifting his head a bit to smell her hair. A natural sweet musk mixed with strawberries filled his nose and without much thought he slipped his hand down his pants underneath his boxers. His dick pulsed with the thumping of his heart, a physical representation of his love for his baby girl.
The credits were rolling and she’d been asleep for a little over half an hour at that point. John weighed his chances of getting away with relieving himself right there. Even if it was in his boxers he was holding his girl and he would not get the chance to do this anytime soon. Feeling like a looser he gave into it wrapping his hand fully around his cock and stroking the full length. His breathing picked up but forced it to maintain a natural rhythm as to not disturb Lily.
John couldn’t believe what he was doing. He hadn’t even drank as much as he usually did and yet he was loosing control of himself. Trying to take the moment in as best he could to remember every point of contact between him and his baby girl. Her head on his chest her torso against his. He leaned his forehead against hers touching ever so slightly. Quickening his pace but trying to keep his body still John felt himself getting closer as precum started to soak into his boxers. He kept going steady looking at her mouth imagining what it would be like to kiss those pretty little lips of hers. The noises that might escape from her when she someday experiences pleasure like this.
All of a sudden Lily took a deep breath and raised her eyebrows her eyes still closed. John immediately stopped his movements and held his breathe. She shifted deeper into her daddy’s side. Her right leg going up over John’s and coming to rest right next to his hand that was holding his cock. She ever so slightly touched his ball sack through his pants and boxers with her knee. He let out his breathe after she stopped and waited a couple more seconds before turning his head away to mouth profanities he’d never say in front of her. Both out of almost getting caught and how fucking hard and bursting at the seams he was. Just the slight pressure of her touching his balls would’ve made him cum if he was still going.
John hadn’t dated at all since his wife and she was sick for so long that he hardly ever got to feel her touch. Of course he jerked off but it was only every once in a while when he had a spare moment to himself. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so turned on. So hard so ready to bury his cock deep into something wet. He looked back at his baby girl her face slightly covered by her hair and smooshed into his chest. He bit his bottom lip and tensed his body preparing to cum while looking at her beautiful sleeping face. Not being able to go too fast it took a couple extra strokes to get himself to climax making it all the more worth it when he did.
He locked his eyes on his baby girl stroking himself through his orgasm every pump making his boxers messier. He couldn’t help himself and put his hand on Lily’s butt squeezing it gently to not startle her. He took a deep breath and regained consciousness feeling all the blood that had left his head travel back giving him a head rush. He slid his hand out of his boxers wiping the wetness on his pants and giving himself a moment to calm his breathing.
He couldn’t believe what he had just done. Immediately realizing his hand was still firmly on her ass he quickly retracted it. He immediately felt guilty and wished he could take it back. But he also imagined in every universe and in every timeline never being able to look at his girl in the same way. The perverted thoughts he had about Lily never made its way out of his head. He thought about her sometimes when jerking off especially when the girl in the pornos he watches look like her but would immediately click to something else.
After staring at the dvd logo bounce against the edge of the screen while disassociating from what he’d just done he finally looked back at Lily. She’d begun to stir again probably from being uncomfortable on the couch. Sadly he’d made the decision to end the night he so desperately wanted to last forever. An innocent sleeping girl never to wake up to the devious and incestuous actions of her father.
He’d reached for her legs as he sat up lifting her to his lap. Taking note of the wetness in his pants he adjusted so she wouldn’t feel it. He pulled the blanket off them and made sure to grab hers and put it in her lap. Gaining a bit of leverage against the couch John rose with his daughter her legs over his left arm. She was only 80 pounds but he worked out regularly to maintain his health and could lift more. The ease in which he moved prevented her from waking until he inevitably placed her in her own cold bed.
Her eyes opened ever so slightly as her eyebrows came together to make sense of her surroundings.
“Daddy?” She said finding his face as he got a bit closer to tuck her into the covers. Her hands made their way up in the darkness to Johns face resting on each cheek. He slowly rubs her forearm up to her hand gently grasping it and pulling it to his lips to kiss her palm. It was difficult for John to pull away wanting to take his babygirl to his room and hold her while they slept.
“I’m here baby. Go to sleep sweet girl I love you.” Tucking her arms under her blanket and kissing her on the cheek. Her soft skin gave in ever so slightly. He pulled her hair away from her warm forehead and took one last look before walking out and cracking the door.
John stood outside in the hallway for a moment hand on the doorknob going over the last hour in his head feeling a slight bit of excitement rising up in him followed by guilt. He didn’t touch her though or violate her body in anyway. He just thought about it and touched himself was that really so bad or was he just trying to justify it to himself.
John took his bottle of whiskey to bed. Drowning himself in the heat of the liquid to dampen his mind. He drifted to sleep with his hand on his cock thinking about his baby.