Chapter Text
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP-
Idia kept his head under the blanket, ignoring the alarm clock. One, two, three, four... After five seconds, the sound effect cut abruptly. Every time. Would it be easier to use the skip button he'd coded in? Maybe. But that required movement, and Idia was already too tired of this world to put that much effort in. Life always had it out for him—like he was the main character with none of the plot armour.
This wasn't the first time he had built a game to cope with IRL feelings, but it was prob the last. Games were easy; he could make infinite save files—take as much time as he wanted—and restart. But if he tried anywhere else, it would be game over the moment he had to come up with his own dialogue options. No patch update could fix whatever was fucked with him. He'd "accepted" that a long time ago.
But love, for a Shroud, was unrealistic. Being subjected to a life on the Island of Woe, cursing the next generation to the same fate. So when Idia stared at someone too long, smiled when he heard their voice, or found himself blushing when they looked his way... He went back to his room, made a dating sim, then deleted it out of shame. Sometimes.
Silver wasn't a one-time crush.
Idia told himself it was jealousy. No matter what he did or how he acted, he would never be the beloved Prince Charming. It's why he hated main love interests. Everything was handed to them: love, charisma, popularity. Even if they were basic-ass white boys. Then again, Idia wasn't immune to them either (clearly).
It wasn't appearances alone—Idia was convinced Silver was an actual prince. He had the whole chivalrous personality that Idia thought was fake af until he was on the receiving end of it. Every word spoken his way was coded into the game he had to live through. He was surprised he hadn't gotten sick yet. Then again, the AI model he built was advanced.
Once the lack of BG music began eating away at him, Idia lifted the blanket off his head and crawled out of bed. The texture of the carpet looked better than it felt. The room looked a little like his old one, designed out of nostalgia more than practicality. Idia shut the blinds, preferring the lamp in the corner of the room that didn't have an off switch. The room was never really dark.
He stepped over comics and piles of clothes to the wall mirror that had taken him hours to program, carefully tracing his sunken eyes with nimble fingers. He moved a digit down the curve of his nose, then his lips—where he tugged at the chapped skin. Maybe he'd stand a chance at beating the game if he could make better expressions, but forcing a smile started hurting after the fifth run.
He pushed against his cheeks, making sure there was still muscle there. He lowkey expected the collisions to break, for him to see his "body" glitch into some unrecognisable entity that would end up on analogue horror TikToks.
...
He missed doomscrolling. He missed his bed, his room, and real video games that didn't make his life hell. Idia missed Ortho—the real one. Not the one that would come in after the clock hit 8:05 AM, repeating the same pre-programmed opening line—
"Big brother! You're going to be late!"
Like clockwork, Ortho burst in through the door, already in uniform. It felt weird seeing his uncovered face. He'd been cruel enough to program the human Ortho from memory, not the recreation substitute. In his defence, Idia never thought he'd have to see that face in person, or whatever he was right now.
"I'm getting ready now." He found that it was the fastest way to get rid of Ortho for the rest of the day. He'd tried the "escape the time loop w/ the NPC that forgets every time" thing, but it failed. Every time. And it added 0 progress to the game since it was a dating sim—not that he was trying any more. Idia couldn't handle any more heartbreak.
"Oki doki! See you at school!"
Yeah right, see you. Idia knocked his head against the mirror once he heard the door click shut. Here we go again.
Idia discovered quickly that nobody cared what he wore. He showed up every run in a hoodie and sweatpants, because why put in effort if nobody notices? He pulled his hood over his head, tucking as much hair in as possible before making a beeline to the front door (the parents were even more annoying to handle).
The first few runs, he grabbed breakfast from home. Then, when he started skipping the home scenes entirely, he grabbed food from the tiny cafe along the way. He'd added it as a background piece, but he didn't think it was actually functional. At some point, he got tired of that too and switched to vending machines—the fewer people he talked to, the better. But Idia had never gotten hungry. This wasn't real.
So this time, he walked straight to school, keeping his head down. He didn't think it made much of an impact on the plot.
Once the massive school came into view, Idia migrated to the walls, walking as close as he could to them to avoid the crowd. Even though this was a dating sim, he'd died on one of his runs because of it—no questions allowed. And digital death was worse than imagining death. It was loading screen, after loading screen, after loading screen. He couldn't see his body or any recognisable colour. It was like static, pixels flashing as he was rebuilt.
Death ≠ Relief
Death was the feeling of his head exploding as he was forced back into a digital body, nerves welding into place so he was forced to feel everything all over again. His body wasn't real, because he felt organs being placed back inside of him, bones clicking into place. It was scary to think his mind wasn't real either.
Idia didn't notice he'd already crossed the front gates and was walking under the sakura trees YES HE MADE IT TRADITIONAL JAPANESE SCHOOL LEAVE HIM ALONE. He tripped. Fell flat on his face.
For a second, Idia didn't want to get up. Because wtf was that embarrassing as hell and he didn't want to see anyone stare at him. But the grass felt like fabric and moved.
"Are you alright?"
Idia's blood ran cold, dread shot up his mind. Maybe jumping off the roof isn't a bad idea. He was planning on avoiding the entire love route to see if he could get an alternate ending, but noOoOoOo. Idia HAD to look up, he HAD to see those soft, white lashes framing worried eyes. His hands hovered over Idia—he would actually die if he felt his hands anywhere on him.
"That was quite a fall," Silver murmured sleepily, sitting up straighter now that Idia had tripped over him. His initial sleep-spawn locations changed, but Idia had never seen him under the trees at the beginning of the game.
He buffered, not stuttered. "Whywouldn'tIbefine?It'snotlikeIwastryingtoavoidyouandIjustahhappenedtofallrightontoyourlapahahahahaaa..." Too many words in one breath, barely a squeak.
Silver was still waking up; he hadn't picked up on any of it. He still helped Idia up, holding his arms firmly. It was weird feeling a person's touch, even if it was fictional. And Silver just HAD to be strong—Mr Malleus' Retainer.
"Be careful."
Idia looked away, knowing he wouldn't survive seeing Silver's smile. His heart was skating on his ribs. "Yup. Okay. Bye." Idia pulled his hood back up and ran, leaving the other standing there in the courtyard. His face was already so hot. Time stuck in the game hadn't changed his feelings, it just hurt more.
[MORNING: COMPLETE]
The message appeared in his peripheral, but no matter how hard he looked, he couldn't actually see it. He just knew it was there. When Idia blinked, he was sitting in the back of class, books on his desk and faceless students filling the seats. Class was only good for one thing: the permanent log.
It was a journal-item only accessible from his desk. The pages were seemingly infinite, bound in dark blue leather with metal edges. It had a badass golden pattern printed onto the front and back, something fire-like that Idia found ironic. It kept a record that transferred over throughout his runs: achievements, notes, and a page listed as endings. It was the only way Idia was able to keep track of everything, reminding himself that he was real, alive, and just stuck. He read his old logs over and over again, memorising the words. I am not a part of the program.
While his fingers slid over the words, he failed to notice the student sliding the chair on the desk beside him. Thud. Idia turned to his right and saw a student resting their head on the desk.
Erm what.
Idia was the only one who sat at the back. But it was hard to mistake the soft, light strands of hair framing the man's face. His eyes were shut. It was unfair how effortlessly handsome he was. Some people were just born lucky. It was only natural that a loser looked up to a guy like him.
Silver was one of the few people in-game who had faces, and he wanted to see it before he forgot what humans looked like (his hair was covering it). Plus, he was pleasant to look at. Idia caught himself reaching out, the pads of his fingers just barely grazing the strands. His face went red.
What, was I going to tuck his hair behind his ear or something!? He snapped his hand back to his side when Silver sat up.
"Are-"
"I WASN'T staring." Idia bit back quickly, turning away. If death weren't so terrible, he'd jump out the window to his left so this run could reset. He'd already screwed it up.
"That's okay," Silver waved it off, fixing his chair and uniform so he was facing forward. "I shouldn't have fallen asleep." His brows furrowed slightly as he rubbed his eyes.
Okay this was new territory. Idia was sweating balls trying to keep it together. Despite the fact that he'd done nothing new, Silver was interacting with him way more. He was sitting next to him too!! Idia kept his head down, trying to figure out which route he was heading down. This might be the only chance he had to get a love ending; he didn't know how to get back to this point. It was probably RNG luck.
All his runs up until this point had ended the same way—Idia takes too long to act and wakes up to a reset. He'd tried love notes, love letters, texting confessions, even giving gifts!! But everything seemed to be pushing him towards doing an in-person confession. It was social anxiety vs determination. It would've been easy if he were anyone else. Existence here was shit, but it would be hell seeing Silver reject him. Face skewed somewhere between disgust and offence, words that would cut deeper than any wound. It would do irreparable damage, but so would staying here.
...
Idia's fingers dug into his palms. He just knew that if his life were an anime, he'd drop it halfway through because of how exhausting he would be as an MC. He couldn't do the simplest of things: talk to people. He didn't think he would ever need to, this was karma for thinking charisma stats were useless. I'm disgusting. Even when he was trapped, he was still tiptoeing around escape.
The teacher tapped her ruler against the desk, quieting the class down and forcing Idia to remember where he was. Luckily, classes were just for show, AKA the teacher explained gibberish. Idia started planning the best way to ask Silver to meet after school (without tearing his hair out).
When he glanced back at the student beside him, he saw... confusion? Usually Silver had a focused expression in class, trying not to doze off. But the boy was looking between the board and his notebook as if he didn't understand the teacher either. He rubbed the back of his neck, sighing. Idia tried not to stare at how the sunlight made him look like he was glowing.
The bell rang suddenly. Game classes never lasted more than ten minutes. Silver flinched, "That's strange." He muttered, standing. Idia was waiting for the pop-up notif saying class was over so he could escape. It never came.
"Did class feel short to you?" Idia barely realised he was talking to him again. He wasn't used to this much interaction; he'd almost forgotten how conversations worked.
"Um.. yeah I guess." Idia put the journal back in the desk but didn't leave his chair. He played with the hoodie strings, feeling his stomach churn.
Silver hummed in thought, standing slowly and tucking his chair in. "And the teacher... did you understand what she was saying?"
Idia stared up at Silver in surprise, meeting his stern gaze. What's going on? He shouldn't notice these things. He shouldn't- Idia was supposed to approach HIM, not the other way around. That's not how dating sims worked, and it was throwing Idia off-balance.
"Not really," He stood up since it was awkward having to look up at him (even if it was a good view). Now's your chance. He didn't need to do a FULL confession, he just needed to befriend him, slow-burn style. "Hey so... so if you're- you don't- we don't have anything after this... y'know?" His mind was screaming at him to stop talking. He was dropping more stats than hints.
"Isn't this the first period?" Silver asked.
Yeah, you shouldn't know that tho. Idia was watching his chances fly away mockingly. "Yeah but like, all the other classes are like this so I thought we could skip the cutscenes and just go somewhere."
Silver considered his words for a moment before nodding. "That sounds like a good idea, considering something odd seems to be happening." Silver began walking.
Omg this is actually happening. Okay Idia, do not fuck this up. If you do you lowkey deserve being trapped forever.
"Are you coming?" Silver waited by the door, his hand on the frame as he looked back at Idia.
"Stop being attractive for one minute, challenge impossible." He muttered beneath his breath before getting up, trying not to trip over his feet.
[MORNING CLASS: COMPLETE]
Silver stepped back, his arm shooting out in front of Idia as if defending him from something—holy survival instincts. "I saw something," Silver muttered, rubbing his eyes, looking around. "Apologies if I startled you." The words were kind like a breeze in spring, but Idia was too busy trying to stop his heart from exploding.
He's so close. Wait, SAW SOMETHING? Idia locked in. "Like a little black line with text?"
Silver's eyes widened, "You saw it too?"
Idia scoffed, "Fourth wall breaking much?"
"What?"
"Nothing..." That meant Silver was receiving notifications. But Idia was supposed to be the one trapped in the game... could it be? "I'm.. not alone." He whispered, hands twitching as a jolt shot through his body. Before Silver could question him again, he grabbed his hand and began leading him down the hall. "We can talk outside." For once, Idia felt like he needed some fresh air.
They bolted down the stairs to the back exit. Silver kept his eyes peeled as they pushed past students. Idia had a spot he knew no NPCs went to. Right before the world border was a massive willow tree. It was the perfect hiding spot for introverts.
Silver slowed down when they entered, his jaw tense as if he expected an attack. Idia sat down on the grass. He hesitated, but pulled his hood down, holding onto the edges just a little longer to comfort himself. It was strange being perceived after so long.
"The students had no faces," His words were calm, measured, but his hands clenched on his lap when he sat down.
"Nobody does... except for us. Oh, and Ortho I guess," But Ortho was rarely ever around.
"Your brother, right?"
"Yeah," Idia picked at the grass, eyes burning. I miss him. Even if he got out, he'd never get Ortho back. He wished he were at least a little more delusional. He'd be happier. "But that's besides the point." He was having trouble forcing the words out of his throat. But he was sick of being useless. "When did you wake up?"
Silver paused, considering his words carefully. "If you mean when I realised... This morning, when you bumped into me. I blamed the lingering fog for the confusion. I couldn't remember the trip to class."
Idia inhaled deeply from his nose before placing a hand on his head. He could explain everything: that this was a dating game and they had to get together, that Silver was likely a sentient AI and NOT his real crush, that it was Idia's fault the game even existed. But he had been so disgustingly lonely that he didn't want his only company to hate his guts.
"We're stuck in a game. I'm like 90% sure we have to clear it to escape," He should've just spit it out that it was a dating sim, because Silver would surely ask—
"Do you know how to beat it?" He knew Idia was smart and especially experienced in video games. And he asked the question so genuinely with the prettiest big eyes, subconsciously leaning closer to focus more.
FML. Idia tugged at his collar, trying to breathe normally when he was anything but. He was burning up, "I'm still figuring that out," Optimist will say the statement was half-truthful!
Silver crossed his arms and shut his eyes, trying to think about their next course of action. It was highkey cute how focused he was. He'd call anyone else a try-hard.
Silver sat still for a few minutes. He didn't open his eyes, his shoulders relaxed, and- Oh he fell asleep sitting up.
Idia never thought he'd be sick of being alone. He didn't like how he was left to his thoughts. And the sun was already setting, the day would be over and he would get a bad ending, AGAIN.
There was no guarantee that Silver would be like this if everything reset.
He reached forward and poked his shoulder, "Hey." Just ask him out and explain later. Easy, right? Silver didn't budge. He'd never actually tried waking him up before.
"Seriously?" He shifted to sit on his knees right next to him, shaking his shoulder. He was more Sleeping Beauty than Prince Charming rn. Too bad Idia couldn't fill either role for a fairytale ending.
"We're running out of time," He whispered, letting his nerves show just a little. His fingers holding Silver's uniform trembled and he was biting the inside of his cheek.
The sky was almost dark. Why did he program the days to be so short!?
Subtly, Silver moved. Idia thought he woke up, instead, he plopped down right onto Idia's chest.
A noise threatened to erupt from his throat, but he slapped a hand over his bluish lips. Silver's head was on his shoulder. He was praying that his game body didn't smell or sweat, he didn't want to gross him out.
Silver made his own noises, small grunts as he adjusted the position of his neck before settling in.
I'm so cooked. An ending was coming, something new. He didn't know what was going to happen when he woke up.
Idia shut his eyes, trying to steady his breathing as the sun completely disappeared from the sky. Silver stirred.
"Idia?" His voice faded away. Idia tried to hold on as tight as he could, but everything faded to black.
He stared at his empty hands, waiting for the sound of machinery buzzing while the day reset. Tears bubbled painfully, and he didn't stop them. His voice hitched, and he started to sob, hugging himself with the same hands that hesitated to hold Silver.
Another run wasted. Progress was cruel, hoping only hurt. Was it worth it?
[DAY 1: COMPLETE]
Idia blinked away the tears blurring his vision as he saw the massive text hovering in the darkness like the moon.
"Day 1?"
Idia stared down at his hands, feeling his chest shake as a laugh bubbled out of his throat. "Hah-- HAH.. That makes sense, no dating sim's one day long. Guess there's no speedrunning this." His voice was shaking as he realised this wasn't impossible. He could wake up.
But it's not like he'd done anything different. It was all thanks to Silver waking up. Just goes to show how it wouldn't work irl. "Whatever. All that matters is beating this fuckass game."
For once, Idia didn't dread waking up in that stupid bedroom, because something was about to change. His head got heavy and everything turned to static.