Chapter Text
Boxter honestly didn’t know how it took him so long to realize it, but now it made everything make so much sense.
He supposed the realization happened while he was drinking coffee in the early morning with his wife. Droosha and him were talking about whatever first came to their minds, and somehow SheZow of all people was who the conversation delved into.
”I think she’s wonderful,” Droosha stated simply, stirring her coffee before taking a sip. “She’s fabulous, good at her work, and such a heroic lady.”
”Polite?” He had barely managed not to grumble, it was too early to get into a bad mood because of the pink menace. “Please, she causes more property damage than she does saving. It’s like nobody taught her any manners.”
Droosha rolled her eyes. “Well, didn’t you say she’s been working to minimize the damage lately?”
”Well, yes.” He glanced away. “But still, it’s like nobody taught her anything about property damage. And she acts like some sort of--some sort of child!" Then he paused. Not because his statement was particularly wrong, but because it was weirdly true. She huffed and argued and stomped around like some sort of misbehaving and grumpy teen and sought validation from paparazzi.
But it never felt like watching an adult being childish, it was just SheZow.. being a child.
He nearly dropped his mug.
Droosha seemed to have some sort of realization of her own, raising a brow. "Well, she does look a bit young." She remembered the handful of times she crossed some articles debating her age. She only ever brushed them off before because surely the new users would be experienced adults. But now that she thought about it, superheroes starting in their teens wasn't that uncommon, how uneasy to stomach as it was.
Boxter shook his head and tried to get it off his mind. "Did you get any information from your friends about any upcoming hippie conventions?" Droosha beamed and began talking away. He smiled and nodded along.
When Guy and Kelly woke up and came down for breakfast, Boxter ruffled his son's hair and patted Kelly's shoulder before they went off for school. Guy grumbled something about Maz being sick that day and what was the point, while Kelly waved happily as they went off to the bus stop.
—————
By the time he went to work, he managed to get it off his mind. He spoke with Wackerman and checked through some files and pointed out directions for new trainees.
It was calm, until it wasn't.
There was a bank heist for, what, the third time this week? He was sent out with a few other of his coworkers to descalate the situation and arrest the offenders.
Yet when they got there, that dreadfully bright pink car was already parked just outside the bank. Of course Shecow was already there.
He ran out of the car and went to check the glass panel, catching sight of the pink superheroine kicking a member of the Pushy Pirate Posy into the wall and scowled. That was was gonna have to be repaired soon.
He burst open the door. "Police!"'
He saw Shecow swivel her head towards his voice and look almost relieved (though it looked more happy than relieved at the same time, which couldn't be right). Weird because he was sure they had more verbal arguments than she had fights with villains. Then he saw one of the pirates trying to sneak up on her.
That morning's conversation with his wife went through his mind once more. It was just SheZow.. being a child.
His gut wrenched, almost replacing her image with Guy and Kelly's as he called out. "Behind you!" His voice held actual stress.
SheZow straightened up and turned around just in time to punch the crook in the nose. She turned back towards Boxter with a surprised look that matched his own.
But the fight against the villain group had already begun, and they had no time to waste with civillians still in danger. Boxter caught in the peripheral of his vision when a pirate was approaching him only to be hit by a quick pink blur. Maybe just paying back for that earlier save?
Either way, it ended with the posy arrested... and another argument between Boxter and SheZow.
"Seriously!? I literally took precautions this time!" She floated just enough to be a bit taller than him.
"Are you sure? Because it's looking like hundreds of dollars for repairs on the walls of that building!" He gestured to the bank, that conviently had a single brick fall out from the side of the wall, causing a bird to accidentally fly in and freak out.
"Well, maybe the building should've had sturdier structure!" She huffed and crossed her arms. A woman working at the bank screamed as she tried to swat the bird out with a broom.
"Sturdier—YOU KICKED A PERSON INTO THOSE WALLS THREE TIMES!" He yelled in their typical argumentive fashion, but noticed last second her slightly shrinking away. He stopped before his next sentence.
"Well, whatever." She mumbled while looking away, crossing her arms in an almost self-protective fashion. Boxter felt genuine guilt at that, which was slightly surprising. Maybe it was because she genuinely looked like a kid at that moment.
She floated down and stood on thr ground again and--goddess, she's barely taller than Guy and Kelly. And that was in heels.
"Seriously, kid," He ignored her looking like she was about to make a rebutal at that. "Don't you some sort of test or whatever? Do your parents even know where you are out?"
He expected her to snipe back saying she was an adult or stomp like an angry kid or whatever, not the pallid look of absolute dread that came across her face the second he mentioned her parents. She physically jumped back and coughed into her elbow.
"HAHAhaha.. why would you ask about.. uhm, that?" Her demeanor became more and more nervous by the second. She was looking literally anywhere else but at him now.
Boxter felt suspiscon set in. "You seem awfully young, after all. Do your parents not know what you're up to? Your mother or your father?" Her eyes snapped towards him at that last part for a split second before very evidently looking away once more. "I know I wouldn't let my kids get into vigilantism, or commit this level of property damage."
"Of course you wouldn't if you knew..." She grumbled under her breath. Then she shook her head. "Stay out of my business, old man." SheZow held back a wince as he glared at her. "You wouldn't get actual herowork if you tried." She flipped her hair and started walking off to her car.
He fumed. "All I know is that once your parents find out about all of this with half a good mind, they'll be grounding you for the rest of your life!"
SheZow buckled up and glared right back at him, then without thinking and filled with the need to have the last word, she shouted out a sentence that she didn't process until she was saying it. "Ha, then good luck to them grounding me from caskets!" She then froze in her seat, horror setting into her features.
And like a mirror image, Boxter was also frozen with a matching expression of pure dismay. SheZow loudly cursed under her breath and hit the gas, speeding off so fast that the car barely looked like a blur. All Boxter could do was stand there.
'By goddess,' He thought. He at first tried to almost deny it, but the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. Her showing later at crimescenes during schooldays, complaining loudly about her sleep during schoolnights, seeming confused when people talked about shows most adults would've already seen a decade or two ago, her behavior, stature, temper, attitude, it all fit. He could imagine Kelly doing all of those things, and Guy.
Oh, oh goddess.
He has been fighting with an orphaned teen for three years. An orphaned teen has been out risking her literal life for three years because she had no adults in her life to help.
Boxter ran a hand over his face. How had he never realized?
————
"She's an orphan, honey." Boxter explained to Droosha, they were both sitting on the couch after he asked the chief to wrap up early since he just couldn't seem to clear his mind about the interaction with SheZow that ended in her literally blurting out that her parents were dead.
He felt almost angry for her, which was an alien experience on its own. Did the last SheZow just pick up a random orphan during her two months of radio silence and shove the damned ring onto the kid's finger then leave? Why does a teenager with no parents to set her on the right track have the damn ring that makes her a superhero?
'Unless it was the last SheZow that caused the parents death and giving the girl the title was some sick sort of compensation.' A more cycnical and paranoid part of his brain whispered. He shook that thought right off. He and the previous SheZow might've had their own share of disagreements and fights, but even he knew that she wouldn't do something as downright heinous as that.
He looked back at Droosha, who looked devastated as he was horrified to receive the information. Her hand covered her mouth.
"That poor girl." Her voice was full of sympathy. "I just can't—could you imagine? Our Guy or Kelly having to live without us and risk their lives because they have nothing else?" His throat closed up at the thought. They were still so young that it hurt to think of them being left alone still so early on. The thought that this new SheZow had to deal with that for three years at minimum..
Dear goddess, he was feeling parental towards SheZow of all people.
—————
"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!?"
Guy dodged at least three pillows that Kelly launched at him. "I wasn't, okay?!"
"Yeah, that much is clear!" She scoffed. "Really? "good luck to them trying to ground me while they're dead"? That's the best retort you came up with?"
"I get it, I messed up!" Guy held his arms up. "Dad and probably the other cops who likely listened in think I'm an orphan now. Isn't that helpful for trying to conceal my identity, though? I'm a dude with parents and now they think SheZow is some chick without family."
"It is," Kelly admitted begrudgingly. "But do you realize how much you messed up by admitting it to dad of all people?"
"He isn't gonna treat me differently just cause he thinks I don't have parents!"
"Oh yes he is!"
"How would you even know!?"
"Because it always happens like this!" Kelly gestured wildly. "Teenage superhero outs themself as a kid to their parent, lies about their parentage, and then the parent tries finding the superhero's parents to stop them from crime fighting but figure out their real identity along the way! Everyone knows that!"
Guy stared at Kelly like she was insane. "I think you've been reading too many comic books or fanfiction or something because you sound literally crazy right now."
"I'm right!" Kelly snapped.
"Are you really, though?" Guy rolled his eyes. Kelly flipped him off.
Whatever, it wasn’t like that was going to happen anyway. Kelly always overthinks.